Filipino Culture: Respect, Titles, and Fictive Kinship

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  • Опубліковано 13 січ 2016
  • One thing I noticed about Filipino culture is their emphasis on addressing others with respect. People who are older or in a position of authority are usually not going to be addressed by their first names.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 204

  • @jessyseguin6848
    @jessyseguin6848 6 років тому +49

    I call tricycle driver kuya, even though I'm older than him. .. respects for him who will take me safely to my destination. ...

    • @albertojacobo7161
      @albertojacobo7161 4 роки тому +1

      EX tricycle driver here Galing po ako sa JPTODA sa novaliches LOL

  • @nenitapalomar8667
    @nenitapalomar8667 8 років тому +201

    I remember when my daughter first day of college here in America everyone introduced themselves on their sit but when my daughter turns she stands up and everybody got surprised the professor asked her why she standing up? And she told them this is our culture if you're in school even if you're in college your respect matters to the ones in title to

    • @JekylViovicente
      @JekylViovicente 8 років тому +33

      she nailed it..thats the best thing to do after all.. pinoy na pinoy..

    • @chocolick460
      @chocolick460 7 років тому

      Nenita Palomar

    • @kantaruhiroyuto
      @kantaruhiroyuto 6 років тому +9

      same in almost all asian countries

    • @neilsumanda1538
      @neilsumanda1538 6 років тому +3

      Nenita Palomar you shud stand up so that other will see you

    • @lvnaloria8548
      @lvnaloria8548 5 років тому +2

      thats what filipino is

  • @chelsay9080
    @chelsay9080 4 роки тому +8

    Thank you so much for sharing our culture with the world, I'm proud being a Filipino. And I'm grateful to my parents, my Aunt and my Grandmother for raising us well. We pass this on to the next generation. Like some other stuff we shudnt do in this era, for instance, no cellphones on the table while having a meal or dont forget to bless your Parents, Aunts, Uncles, Grannies when you leave the house and in coming home as well, or even visiting relatives, this is one Filipino culture I'm proud of. Another is the use of "po" and "opo"☺. Thanks again and take care.☺

  • @dznm10
    @dznm10 7 років тому +63

    I can't agree enough on all what you have said buddy. I live here in Canada for more than half of my life now( I'm 60 this year) and I was in shock when I first landed my job in an automotive shop because I heard my cousin (working with me) addressing our Boss by his first name only! Then secretly I asked my cousin, is that you guys address our Boss here in Canada? He answered me with a smile yes!, he said.Very different from where I grew up.Years passed by so quick I was able to sponsor my nieces and nephew to live with me here ,then one day one of my nieces phone me and my boss answered it and told me a few seconds later with a smile on his face Hey Uncle John you got a phone call from your niece! I realized when my boss' kids call him they don't even address him Dad just his first name! that's when he told me my damn kids won't even call me Dad just my first name ,I just smile and tell him that it's just common for us Filipinos addressing the elders with proper title and respect.I'm happy you embrace our culture and traditions.Take care and God bless your family circle.

  • @pepitootap6730
    @pepitootap6730 7 років тому +29

    Kuya, your explanation is 100% correct. I agree with you, saying it is a respect and affection at the same time. There was a situation where a crew member at the Mcdonald's was addressed as Kuya even if he is younger than the customer. This is because he didn't know him and he chose to be polite.

  • @jg6249
    @jg6249 7 років тому +27

    You are right Kevin, Pinoys always address anybody older a title of respect.

  • @markhenryabello2193
    @markhenryabello2193 4 роки тому +5

    I like how he put it; respect with affection.

  • @zedlav5784
    @zedlav5784 7 років тому +23

    others will even call you gradma and grandpa in tagalog if youre an elder even if youre not related to them. thats just to show respect. yes, its very uncomfortable to call someone in their 1st name if they are much older than you here in Philippines.

  • @jimmytredesaquino5085
    @jimmytredesaquino5085 7 років тому +11

    thank you so much Mr.kevin for ur sharing our culture to others may God bless you

  • @mainesfashionboutique5324
    @mainesfashionboutique5324 3 роки тому +2

    New Sub here... Those are very true... I am a Filipino from Manila. Grew up here... Thanks for bringing up these great respect of Filipinos to our elders... God 🙏 Bless you Sir....

  • @rolexfredeluces9927
    @rolexfredeluces9927 5 років тому +7

    Some may misinterpret, they think it is some kind of showing inferiority or superiority but the thing it is realy not, we Filipino's taught by early childhood to give respect, be polite. We use Po and Opo to Express it but of course it's somewhat awkward to use it for other race, they may not understand it, and that why we use Sir or ma'am instead.. every people around the globe deserves respect and we Filipino's know that.

  • @kryptonegalaxy3004
    @kryptonegalaxy3004 5 років тому +3

    maraming salamat po kuya..mabuhay ka.... Godbless u

  • @_bearlyaverage
    @_bearlyaverage 7 років тому +4

    I didn't know you have a YT channel. I don't know if you remember but I met you when I was in college at Universidad de Manila. I'm glad :). Godbless!

  • @idleeidolon
    @idleeidolon 6 років тому +5

    A lot of titles and honorifics you get by default, or simply by just being old (po, opo, etc). Some you earn (presumably), either through education (attorney, doc, professor), or through seniorship/promotion (boss, sir, etc). Titles of respect and terms of endearment can sometimes even be mixed. "Bossing" is a little less formal than "boss" or "sir" but it implies heavily that the person likes you as his boss and is willing to take orders/direction from you. Although, sometimes it can be used sarcastically, but that's rare, and you can often tell.

  • @mercymitch2541
    @mercymitch2541 5 років тому +3

    Your correct it's really uncomfortable when we didn't call kuya when he's older than us..

  • @Cons2911
    @Cons2911 3 роки тому +3

    Can’t even imagine calling my parents by their first name, maybe not even when I’m drunk lol.
    I think another reason for this is, esp for strangers, we call them kayak/ate/‘nay/‘tay is because it makes your approach less offensive, kinder. So you have a better chance of getting a positive response, for say if you’re asking for a direction or a question.

  • @MsWonderfullife19
    @MsWonderfullife19 5 років тому +1

    Thanks of your appreciation to our Filipino culture Sir.

  • @joedantrinidad4522
    @joedantrinidad4522 6 років тому +2

    Great observation. It is indeed the most or let say one of the significant things about being a filipino

  • @RA-pb4gl
    @RA-pb4gl Рік тому

    I love how you said it’s respect with affection, that sums it up perfectly!

  • @chicfrancisco6845
    @chicfrancisco6845 6 років тому +3

    Yes. We are conscious of showing respect when addressing others. I call my garderner not just Edwin but Mang Edwin. This is even with the knowledge that he is younger than I am, but since he does look older than I am, I prefer to address him with respect.

  • @yadutaiwuk4757
    @yadutaiwuk4757 8 років тому +15

    very true☺☺☺thats why i call my boss maam shaika even if she's younger than me..😁😁😁

  • @josievillanuevasablad5127
    @josievillanuevasablad5127 4 роки тому

    Thank you so much Mr. Kevin for sharing our Good culture, respect and affectionate dealing with people. Calling them kuya or Ate is only a sign of respect though they are much younger. It is natural for us, show respect for others and we are calling them Sir or Ma'am or Boss when you are in higher position.

  • @josephinetizon7314
    @josephinetizon7314 5 років тому +2

    I extremely agree with you Kevin..

  • @rolandojardiolin1913
    @rolandojardiolin1913 4 роки тому

    thanks kuya Kevin..God Bless!!

  • @gemmel3197
    @gemmel3197 5 років тому +7

    "Fictive " I learnt something today, thank you. Good content too.

  • @alejandro3561
    @alejandro3561 5 років тому

    I agree with you Kuya Kevin. God bless you always.

  • @tatabacs
    @tatabacs 7 років тому +2

    Well said brother,that's how we are Filipinos .Our culture is unique and not only as a culture but we live in it ,we apply in our lives in daily bases.We are small and simple to the other countries but we are the most kind,hospitable,loving , respectful ,happiest people all over the world.We thank God for creating us as a good example to others.Be ye kind to one another,tender hearted,forgiving one another,even as God for Christ 's sake hath forgiven you.(Ephesians4:32 KJV). Thanks for the video.God bless us all.🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

  • @hm_nn_5633
    @hm_nn_5633 3 роки тому

    Maraming Salamat Po

  • @teresalauigan4722
    @teresalauigan4722 5 років тому +1

    Thanks a lot for promotin and loving our country.... godbless 😊😊

    • @teresalauigan4722
      @teresalauigan4722 5 років тому +1

      Yes respect is the most very important thing that we always doin for others, because we always expect that they ll do the same as how and what we re doin 😊😊 thanks again sir mabuhay po kayo

  • @tirsocorgos3994
    @tirsocorgos3994 3 роки тому

    Thank you brother welcome to our humble country the Philippines God bless you all🙏Salamat Po!

  • @patdavis4327
    @patdavis4327 4 роки тому

    You explained it very well, sir.

  • @7SeventhFromAdam
    @7SeventhFromAdam 6 років тому

    Great job articulating this Philippine culture, kuya Kevin.

  • @user-mt5ty7cy6w
    @user-mt5ty7cy6w 7 років тому +2

    yes !

  • @ajibang9416
    @ajibang9416 8 років тому +16

    Haha... 100% true. I don't know if we Filipinos are so respectful or just too conscious with the title.

    • @granknight
      @granknight 7 років тому +6

      it's due to good family values which is not bad this values actually promotes respect not only to yourself but to others as well.

    • @Jayeduort
      @Jayeduort 6 років тому +1

      Haha. I think mix of both...respectful and title conscious...which is sometimes negative

    • @jonathanbaldomero7120
      @jonathanbaldomero7120 6 років тому

      This is what u called customary law. Part of culture in phils

    • @Jazz-tv7jr
      @Jazz-tv7jr 4 роки тому

      Is our blood culture

  • @floryarndt4758
    @floryarndt4758 5 років тому +1

    Thank you Kevin for admiring our culture :)

  • @sheilatuano9633
    @sheilatuano9633 5 років тому

    Yes, we do tend to do that. Call someone older than me or of higher position at work with a title as a form of respect.

  • @ctjj08030108
    @ctjj08030108 4 роки тому

    thank you sir

  • @melindagacischiang5568
    @melindagacischiang5568 3 роки тому

    thank you god bless you sir

  • @ronaaserude8225
    @ronaaserude8225 8 років тому +7

    thanks for bringing this up Kevin. I have a pinay friend who refers to public figures as senator this, vice president that etc. At first I thought it was about prestige for her but in the context of this video I can see that its a cultural thing and I also see why she was so upset when her daughter inlaw (American born and raised filipina) neglected to bless her by taking her hand up to her forehead in the classic tradition.

    • @ronaaserude8225
      @ronaaserude8225 8 років тому

      that's a great topic to discuss Kevin, especially in the context of Asian people raised in a western environment where mano is not practiced; somewhat of an east meets west culture shock haha

    • @ronaaserude8225
      @ronaaserude8225 8 років тому

      you do a great job Kevin, can tell you put a lot of thought into your videos and I for one am eagerly waiting to learn about mano and other traditions/beliefs native to Philippines.

  • @katipunero4999
    @katipunero4999 4 роки тому +1

    kuya is big brother like your a part of the family in philippines.. and po and opo

  • @anamariapanganiban4386
    @anamariapanganiban4386 5 років тому

    Hi.. I am happy watching you telling some our cultures. Yes its true. May i add.. People here always say PO and OPO as yes. Like..." Opo kuya or opo ate" always like that if you are talking to elders. Especially if you are talking to your parents, aunties, uncles, government officials, church leaders, professors, etc.

  • @ronaldocastillo2630
    @ronaldocastillo2630 4 роки тому

    Well said po,details by details,understandable.

  • @veyomiranda9154
    @veyomiranda9154 5 років тому +4

    We respect people..becoz we expect to.be respected in return and be it a habit to respect to be an example to the younger ones..
    BUT,,dont cross the line by being arrogant,or take advantage of our being respectful,,remember we all deserve respect..you could get killed if its really badly you disrespect.

    • @teresalauigan4722
      @teresalauigan4722 5 років тому

      Thats true and its about our culture 😊😊 respect others so everybody respect each other too ,,,

  • @davo_deveragmail.comdavo1973
    @davo_deveragmail.comdavo1973 6 років тому

    Very well said sir

  • @japsmarkevich781
    @japsmarkevich781 7 років тому

    Very well said

  • @johnandannastravels6258
    @johnandannastravels6258 6 років тому

    Good video. Thanks Po.

  • @sgtjoe2008
    @sgtjoe2008 8 років тому +3

    kevin this is your kuya joe, i admire your vids, you're observant and have deep understanding of culture. later you could be a pinoy at heart

  • @mhonferari
    @mhonferari 6 років тому +5

    The youngsters always respect the elders, by saying PO and OPO or MANO PO !

  • @sharmainefunes9369
    @sharmainefunes9369 8 років тому +9

    Spot on 👍🏻

    • @michaelt334
      @michaelt334 7 років тому +1

      Shar Maine can I connect you maybe in messenger or can I call you. Anyway have you been to Philippines?

    • @batangfirst5993
      @batangfirst5993 7 років тому

      Kevin Sanders great video

  • @ronaldocastillo2630
    @ronaldocastillo2630 4 роки тому

    Watching from Montreal,Quebec.

  • @avisreymond6964
    @avisreymond6964 5 років тому

    I second the motion; Kuya Kevin.....

  • @cyborgxero
    @cyborgxero 6 років тому

    Who are these gentle, ever-loving and always caring little warm-hearted humanoids? With all their difficulties and imperfections, they're still rediculously happy. From what distant star did they come from?

  • @ainz9812
    @ainz9812 5 років тому +4

    this is something i take pride on😁

  • @lizmaldita3208
    @lizmaldita3208 8 років тому

    Very true.We also use "po" or "opo" to someone who is older than us even if it's only a year older.

  • @jjroarodriguez9279
    @jjroarodriguez9279 3 роки тому

    It is a reminder for us that someone is in authority; we need to give them the respect of what they earned. Doctor, Lawyer, Teacher, And so on and so forth... Ate, Kuya, bunso..

  • @orlandojrbangayan3367
    @orlandojrbangayan3367 5 років тому +1

    You are right bro,.!!!

  • @Genkuro
    @Genkuro 8 років тому

    Spot on.

  • @aidawilson9080
    @aidawilson9080 7 років тому

    I agree with you. I grew up in Phils and moved here in US to marry my fiance. I've seen a few difference here with kids and young adults, not that their disrespectful or what. Nice video btw, very informative to those who've never been in Phils.

  • @valentecarayugan9261
    @valentecarayugan9261 5 років тому

    YOUR'E SO RIGHT!!!

  • @samjewellery3337
    @samjewellery3337 5 років тому

    nice video.tnx.

  • @ericcalivoso3068
    @ericcalivoso3068 4 роки тому +1

    we in the ilocos region adress the kuya or ate for someone older than you, and "ading" for the young ones

  • @ShirleyPelaezmylifeasinday
    @ShirleyPelaezmylifeasinday 5 років тому +1

    And to elders we also call them nanay or mama, or aunt for elder women and tatay or papa, uncle for elder men.

  • @joule8978
    @joule8978 7 років тому

    I totally agree

  • @nakamuraka777
    @nakamuraka777 5 років тому

    Very True..

  • @rednalemaznalb3822
    @rednalemaznalb3822 8 років тому +4

    Everything you said is VERY TRUE.....

    • @rednalemaznalb3822
      @rednalemaznalb3822 8 років тому +1

      One culture that you is undeniably Filipino is hospitable and trusting,meaning Filipinos will share their foods to whosoever visitors on their homes even if she or he is their first time to meet them. Other Countries,that's a big No.

    • @rednalemaznalb3822
      @rednalemaznalb3822 8 років тому

      tha't aside from being too polite and respectful.

  • @bobetization
    @bobetization 5 років тому +4

    you will recognized a Filipino when they say ''Sir'' ''Madam''

  • @diosdadoapias
    @diosdadoapias 5 років тому +1

    To the Filipinos, to give or address respect to anyone especially the elders is ingrained from childhood at home, school and community thatit become a habit. To the Filipinos then, respecting is a habit.

  • @mercedesvicente6559
    @mercedesvicente6559 6 років тому

    u are hundred percent Kevin that's is our culture respect.in polite.

  • @jaketod
    @jaketod 8 років тому +4

    When given you a title it is a sign of respect

  • @C3H5NO33HO3
    @C3H5NO33HO3 7 років тому +1

    That happens to me, I love it.

  • @rachellesargento6068
    @rachellesargento6068 4 роки тому

    THX

  • @commonpeople9801
    @commonpeople9801 7 років тому +1

    nice

  • @bitcoinuser2509
    @bitcoinuser2509 8 років тому

    yes thats Right,, :)

  • @johnculala7575
    @johnculala7575 5 років тому

    Filipinos always respect others by saying "kuya" (older bro) or "ate" (older sister) tita (auntie) Tito (uncle) even without relations in their family,,in that way Filipinos addressing respect to anyone ,,thanks for telling the world about good Filipino culture

  • @warrentyoso8391
    @warrentyoso8391 7 років тому +1

    Addressing sir mam usually came from American culture in which show humility/respect usually started in school, it is abnormal to not address your teacher, fictive kinship is really true

  • @laksoysoy
    @laksoysoy 4 роки тому

    you can also use manong(male) or manang(female) for older strangers. tito and tita are usually used for your relatives or close to your family

  • @albertojacobo7161
    @albertojacobo7161 4 роки тому

    I think there was a hierarchy in referring to older siblings like kuya, dikong, manong, ate, sianse, ditche, i used to hear that with my moms siblings . But it kinda got lost during the decades

  • @tristan9378
    @tristan9378 5 років тому

    We were also trained to address Kuya /Ate or Tita / Tito even to our relatives who are younger than us but would be with the same level or generation with that of our parents like I still call my dad's youngest brother, Tito Orlan even if I'm 6 yrs older than him

  • @observant1843
    @observant1843 4 роки тому +1

    You may have not experienced the title of "Mang" for males and "Aling" for females. It's the equivalent of sir and maam but very casual but polite. It's starting to drop from usage, though.

  • @georgeince4136
    @georgeince4136 4 роки тому

    Oo OPo. Yes, that was how I was raised also. But I am often addressed with respect every time I have a visited my fiancee in the Philippines. I am often been referred to as Tito (uncle). Even though we are post poning our marriage. I am a deacon at my church. With an MTS in Christian Mission, I am called Mr. The respect should be returned to America.

  • @ravenn0us
    @ravenn0us 4 роки тому +3

    It's kinda ironic especially in the States, people demand respect but don't show and give it to others..

  • @maryannteroso7862
    @maryannteroso7862 5 років тому

    in my province even not my relatives just neighbours or just older than me new friend or even visitors . We used uncle and for old people lola /lolo/ nanay or tatay. older than me kuya ate /manong /manang /younger than I call langga /or baby. bish or sis .or same age

  • @C3H5NO33HO3
    @C3H5NO33HO3 7 років тому

    Kevin you Rock !!!!!

  • @buddylewis2743
    @buddylewis2743 3 роки тому

    I still say yes sir and yes ma'am and I'm 70 years old. And yes, I'm from Texas.

  • @hiderunbride8431
    @hiderunbride8431 5 років тому +2

    We also use "Nanay" or "Tatay" (Mommy or Daddy) when addressing a really old person who is not a relative. It is really unattractive to call a 60 year old by his/her first name.
    "Lolo" or "Lola" will also do but it may give away the age too much.
    But we only use the Filipino version. We do not use mommy or daddy to an elderly. It's kinda give a bad taste for some reason.

  • @sonnyvillarino870
    @sonnyvillarino870 Рік тому

    yeah that's right even the new generation now the young ones they call the opposite as kuya older brother or ate older sister even they're the same age

  • @joseX44
    @joseX44 4 роки тому

    Opo , Mano po

  • @MrEdwintmargallo
    @MrEdwintmargallo 5 років тому

    The highest value of Filipinos is RELATIONSHIP. For americans if I am not taught wrong, it is SUCCESS. So in America you are respected if you are successful in your field of endeavor. In the Philippines, you are respected because you are good in interpersonal relationship. Notice Filipinos who spent 2 yrs or more working abroad and when on vacation, he throws parties almost daily for his neighbors and relatives. If he doesn't, he will be called snob and losses respect from the community. Ate, Kuya, Tito, Tita or of much older , Nanay, tatay are usual address you would hear in public places and in transport. You are only allowed to call a person in his name if he is of the same age with you and of the same financial status with you. Otherwise, you will be branded as RUDE.

  • @andersoncal1521
    @andersoncal1521 7 років тому

    we filipinos taught to respect specially to our parents and elderly people or someone who has attained high position.

  • @mariedemagiba1401
    @mariedemagiba1401 5 років тому

    ❤❤❤❤

  • @lizajanemarigal7581
    @lizajanemarigal7581 5 років тому

    😊

  • @agimatngpilipinas
    @agimatngpilipinas 3 роки тому

    Hi Kevin, I remember you always in SM Ayala buying roasted chicken in the store I worked with. Are you still working out at Gold Gym? Anyway, thanks for being so nice to Filipino. I know how good you are too.

    • @agimatngpilipinas
      @agimatngpilipinas 3 роки тому

      Kevin Sanders
      Oh sorry. Maybe you’re right though I was assigned at SM Manila for a couple of years too before I was transferred to Ayala. Anyway, thanks for the info. god bless and I am now one of your follower.

  • @shevilla7849
    @shevilla7849 5 років тому

    👍

  • @Inday_Yawa
    @Inday_Yawa 7 років тому +15

    familial titles:
    brother:
    eldest - kuya
    second - diko
    third - sanko
    sister:
    eldest - ate
    second - ditse
    third - sansi
    fictive kinship:
    strangers:
    manong - male
    manang - female
    although some filipinos find these titles a little rude because it kinda signify old age

    • @pickledpotato8567
      @pickledpotato8567 7 років тому +1

      Ohmz Congayo just a lil correction, second older sister is called dete. Ditse is actually a title given to the third older sister.. :)

    • @maelstrumyes3595
      @maelstrumyes3595 7 років тому +1

      for siblings the 3rd part of brothers and sisters is kinda speculating me a bit for japanese since the word san in japan is the number 3

    • @Inday_Yawa
      @Inday_Yawa 7 років тому +2

      oh... thanks for that, i didn't know it ... we only use ditse ... btw what is third bro called?

    • @guamboy75
      @guamboy75 7 років тому

      I grew up with the males being called Kuya (eldest), Diko (2nd), and Sanko (3rd). For females it''s Ate, Ditche, Sanse. However, I hear there are different variations based on region and/or dialect

    • @jasonflores4250
      @jasonflores4250 5 років тому

      Brother: kuya, diko, sangko, sikong Sister: ate, ditse, sanse, dete....this is how it is in valenzuela (formerly bulacan now metro manila)

  • @yelenaalcones4610
    @yelenaalcones4610 4 роки тому

    Wow !! Very unusual way of showing respects to people

  • @avielnayntisiks9903
    @avielnayntisiks9903 6 років тому +1

    You forgot to tell them Pastor Kevin that we call elders nanay or tatay, lolo and lola even if we just met them. Or if you are a friend of our godparents we will also call you ninong or ninang

  • @maryannedeguzman2797
    @maryannedeguzman2797 3 роки тому

    Yes , I noticed here in America ...they call their parent - in- laws by their first name ...

  • @JindyMarie05
    @JindyMarie05 5 років тому

    I grew up in the U.S. When I go to the Philippines, I address everyone with "po" and "Mr." and "Ma'am." But the same goes here in the U.S. I went to Catholic School, and they really enforced addressing everyone with respect. We were taught not to address the elders by their first names, so I guess it just stuck with me. Now that I am older, I still address people with Mr or Mrs. but I find now that some of the elders do not like. Also, some of my patients who are filipino do not like being called "tita" or "tito" or even "Mr." or "Mrs." which I find pretty surprising! (I must note they do not mind when I say "po")
    So, is this something modern? My parents don't mind either or when others address them by their titles or even by their first names. When I ask them about it, they say it makes them feel younger... hmmmmm 🤔

  • @garyschwitz3383
    @garyschwitz3383 6 років тому +1

    Kevin, I really love your videos. I am a pastor here in the US (Texas) and married a Filipina. We hope to return to the Philippines (Dumaguete) so my wife can get her BSRN at Silliman. She is 35 years old and I just turned 66. Thanks for all your efforts. My Facebook is simply Gary Schwitz.

  • @chocolick460
    @chocolick460 7 років тому +5

    You might as well add how we feel when we are not addressed with such terms...., i feel really uncomfortable when i hear my name called by children, they were actually korean's so i was just trying to understand them but deep inside i felt uneasy about it.... i only call people by their names when i am like angry to them like when i fight with my sister, i do not want to call her "ate" that's when she will realize i am angry....