Why You're Not Happy and What To Do About It

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  • Опубліковано 19 гру 2024

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  • @chantel9780
    @chantel9780 2 роки тому +39

    “I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.” - Andy Bernard .........I think of this quote often and it reminds me that the present moments are where true happiness and joy lies. Thanks for this Ali

    • @catea1._
      @catea1._ Рік тому

      Yesss, The Office has some of the funniest, relatable and meaningful quotes

  • @carmenkwok9708
    @carmenkwok9708 2 роки тому +48

    1. The Happiness Equation 4:30
    2. The Look Down Principal 8:25
    3. The Rule of 9 Positive Things 10:10
    4. Happiness vs. Joy & Pleasure 10:50
    5. Journey Before Destination 11:40

  • @mariussavatier4155
    @mariussavatier4155 2 роки тому +119

    Happiness needs to be defined. For me, it's thriving in the pursuit of a loosely defined long-term goal while enjoying the process. I'm happy when I'm not asking myself that question.

  • @dooseabege
    @dooseabege 2 роки тому +219

    Thank you. I needed this. I’ve really been practicing happiness as a choice because I was constantly consumed with expectations and disappointed with the reality. I’m not perfect and get overwhelmed but I will take some tips here and I’m working to have a baseline of contentment and happiness that is unwavering of circumstances around me while I still try to achieve and strive and do better

    • @mikeburchart8522
      @mikeburchart8522 2 роки тому +1

      I believe that the moment you stop practicing happiness as a choice, you will become happy.

    • @ricardobracho9567
      @ricardobracho9567 2 роки тому

      @@mikeburchart8522 what

  • @AlexanderFYoung
    @AlexanderFYoung 2 роки тому +115

    Gratitude and perspective are what people should focus on over superficial outcomes.

  • @ashisbhai7291
    @ashisbhai7291 2 роки тому +11

    Low expectations are the way forward.. But when you see closed ones suffering for your low income or joblessness.. It's hurts in each micro second.. Thanks to Ali.. His voice is my motivation..

  • @Realfunnypanda
    @Realfunnypanda 2 роки тому +45

    Whoever's reading this, I pray that whatever you're going through gets better and whatever your struggling with or worrying about is going to be fine and that everyone has a fantastic day Amen

  • @ZoeysMusings
    @ZoeysMusings 2 роки тому +24

    Expectations will be the death of us. My favourite poem 'He Never Expected Much' by Thomas Hardy follows the formula of happiness = reality - expectations. The lower your expectations, the more you enjoy life. Choosing incremental happiness (contentment while striving to be better) is the way to go. Thanks for sharing Mr Mo's wise words, Ali!

  • @GrowthMindsetChannel
    @GrowthMindsetChannel 2 роки тому +32

    "Is there anything ever under our total control? Yes, two things are: your actions and your attitude." - Mo Gawdat 🙏😊

  • @alimariwankamal1937
    @alimariwankamal1937 2 роки тому +2

    It doesn't matter you don't have as many subscriber as this or that youtuber. The value you offer us is much more than sooo many famous youtubers

  • @risika
    @risika 2 роки тому +65

    I get asked how I keep up my journaling practise and it definitely came from lowering my expectations
    Especially when youre depressed it’s about making incremental adjustments that eventually lead to steps towards feeling better. Now I consistently post journal with me videos on yet and thats kept me the most committed and helped with brain fog/dysregulation.
    For example, when I was the most depressed I had no appetite and no desire to cook. I’d let myself starve sometimes - and that was partly because I felt like if I cooked then it needed to be a perfect, healthy, pretty little meal. Eventually, I realized I needed to lower my expectations and in a moment I had energy I began experimenting to find my depression meal. Because I realized any food is better than no food - so who cares if its healthy, pretty, whatever. For a while all I ate was poutine, then oatmeal, then toast and peanut butter. Finally discovered a half a microwave baked potato and 2 sunny side up eggs. You may think, “fired eggs” you’re not depressed but for some reason frying eggs was okay but making my oatmeal with milk was too much work… idk. The point is this meal is relatively healthy, I feel good and eating doesn’t stress me out anymore. And I’ve gotten blood work done so I know I’m ok like this - because it wasn’t forever. When I was ready I started taking more steps and managing my mental health and getting happier.

    • @marionannmacredie
      @marionannmacredie 2 роки тому +1

      Same! I used all my meals as “depression “ meals. When I was depressed I would say “I only have to get to the next meal”. I lost 60 lbs also. Like you I told myself it was better to have a little of ordinary food than swing from dieting to bingeing figuring that less weight on perfectionist food was healthier. 🌹🌹🌹

    • @risika
      @risika 2 роки тому +1

      @@marionannmacredie exactly that! Im trying my best to apply the same mindset to other parts of life but its a constant process of learning and unlearning

    • @risika
      @risika 2 роки тому

      @Leet Noob Im rooting for you!

    • @marionannmacredie
      @marionannmacredie 2 роки тому +1

      @@risika yes my lifetime’s eating problem I finally solved so I’m trying to figure out how that worked so I can apply it to other things. I bought both Mo blooms because he is so great. Your UA-cam looks good I will take a look when I’m out of hospital for gall bladder surgery🌷

    • @marionannmacredie
      @marionannmacredie 2 роки тому

      Both Mo BOOKS 😂

  • @lapassion24
    @lapassion24 2 роки тому +1

    he is happy on what he does, he likes to share and influence, he wants to make people happy , Ali!! ; ) strong and happy!!

  • @sueh3840
    @sueh3840 2 роки тому +8

    Having a goal and taking action to achieve that goal will not make you unhappy. It's the attachment to the outcome from that effort that makes a person unhappy or anxious. It's ok to be ambitious just don't be so hung up on the result. Try your best and hope for the best. When you have no (not low) expectation on the outcome from your effort, you will not be let down.

  • @MeePro100
    @MeePro100 2 роки тому +2

    I have been doing similar videos to yours for three years now, I am a medical student and productivity lover too, sadly I don’t have the same success story as yours, your videos provide me a level of motivation no human mind apart from mine can comprehend. Thankyou Ali

  • @GolfwithShan
    @GolfwithShan 2 роки тому +7

    Ali's talking speed in these videos are like 1.5x on audiobooks 😂 which is perfect honestly. The full conversation (podcast) is amazing as well. Thank you

  • @areeshatahnee2193
    @areeshatahnee2193 2 роки тому +1

    Ali! You look so good here! White is definitely your colour and the gold frame suits your face so well!

  • @jonhiew3831
    @jonhiew3831 2 роки тому +85

    Ali out here giving us our therapy, our saviour

    • @evelynexuma1699
      @evelynexuma1699 2 роки тому +3

      Haha exactly loving his videos lately no helpfull cause no one really teaches you how to understand yourself and mind and how to lead it to the path you want

  • @khalilahd.
    @khalilahd. 2 роки тому +37

    I listen to a podcast called “the happiness lab” and they also discuss the idea of incremental happiness as a choice and at first it’s a pretty jarring concept but the more you look into it the more it makes sense. Such a great video! 🙏🏽

    • @heyheyvicky1498
      @heyheyvicky1498 2 роки тому

      I love that podcast, I learned so much from it!

    • @lucillebennet4233
      @lucillebennet4233 2 роки тому +1

      After 8 long years of battling with insecurities, low self-esteem, with constant fear of the knowledge I could infect someone with HSV 1&2 was a nightmare to me. I'm so glad/grateful that I am over Herpes and its stigma! All thanks to Dr. Aloha #Herpes #Hsv1 #Hsv2 #Sti ua-cam.com/channels/_YFEEZEr1BxGkNg1d4vqww.html 🍀🪸🌼

  • @mr.researcherman2946
    @mr.researcherman2946 2 роки тому +1

    May Allah bless this ummah with happiness. Ameen

  • @user-xt7zs7tn1c
    @user-xt7zs7tn1c 2 роки тому

    youre a genius man. smarter than everyone else, and richer too

  • @frogskin482
    @frogskin482 2 роки тому +1

    Ali, thank you for introducing me to Mo. I will certainly get his books. Gratitude and celebrating positive memory struck me hard as I am currently working through the loss of my mum.

  • @abdulsalam56456
    @abdulsalam56456 2 роки тому +2

    Ali, you are searching for happiness everywhere when you were born with it but then abandoned it. This life will never give you the happiness you're looking for. You need to think more long term, then you will find it.

  • @idib1739
    @idib1739 2 роки тому +3

    People in comments talking about how life changing this video is. Me just enjoying how casually Mo says "...Hum?" every now an then☺

  • @kimvezina6470
    @kimvezina6470 2 роки тому +3

    Living in the moment and appreciating everything, the good and the bad promotes growth. Thank you for sharing this wonderful experience with us.

  • @ashusuri6472
    @ashusuri6472 2 роки тому +1

    That's so true ...its the same thing with my father..when he died i was shattered and so heartbroken that i could not see past my pain...but now after 5 years i now realize that i had 18 beautiful years with him ..all those precious memories of being daddy's lil angel i would cherish them for the rest of my life and i am soo thankful that i got to live 18 years with someone as amazing as him... 😭🙂

  • @SydPeppa
    @SydPeppa 2 роки тому +2

    8:30 "While hiking a mountain, it's important to remember to enjoy the view above."

  • @thimiramendis8835
    @thimiramendis8835 2 роки тому +2

    We need to be present not past or future. Future isn’t come yet so don’t look future until it comes. When you focus on present your future automatically will be ok. Nowadays we look material-stick happiness, it’s trap. This guy is on point

  • @sunvavachi
    @sunvavachi 2 роки тому +1

    Working on each present day has been something I've been working on and to remove external factors. I think at this time where a lot are struggling financially, that comfort zone to enjoy life seems lost even if they try to enjoy. People who are moderately/rich are even struggling in current times to make sure they don't make the wrong moves. This was a fantastic video to just keep emphasizing to enjoy the process to whatever our goals may head or intersect towards. And hopefully in the end that balance constructs so we are not worrying too much on a specific outcome and will naturally manifest.

  • @imanmanzoor6794
    @imanmanzoor6794 2 роки тому

    Omg omggggg was waiting for it ! Thanksss

  • @WilliamRandomUploads
    @WilliamRandomUploads 2 роки тому

    Random sharing here that may benefit others, I think a lot of us link happiness with achieving goals. I started seeing a psychiatrist to understand myself better and realised that I have been linking my happiness with external goals & factors such as earning more money, getting a promotion.
    When I’m down, I go to eat good food, meet friends for drinks and travel, Spending time with my partner exploring restaurants and places but I realized I don’t have a specific activity that makes me happy internally. It will be an ongoing activity to find an internal happy factor for most people. Hope anyone that read this have a think about what makes you happy internally and work towards finding that 💪🏼

  • @acdcacres
    @acdcacres 2 роки тому +1

    This was really powerful, thank-you for sharing! I appreciated the "look down instead of look up", with the story you shared. ❤ I lost my friend (neighbor) a little while back, but I remember having that thought shortly after he passed- thankful for what we did have instead of focusing on the loss. I was so thankful to have been there, so he wasn't alone. The ringer was off on our phone, but for some reason we still woke up and were able to head over to comfort him and help him and be with him one last time (he passed later in the hospital). When I think back on that moment, as much as it hurts he is gone, I am beyond thankful that we had those final moments and all the memories of his visits.

  • @MrKajuKatli
    @MrKajuKatli 2 роки тому

    so with low expectations and not comparing yourself to other thats how you can be on path of happiness

  • @Virtual_brain
    @Virtual_brain 2 роки тому +3

    I didn't know I needed this, so thanks :)
    I am from Chile and currently I am on vacations on new york and is so easy to see these giant houses and wonder how big of a gap there is in our income. But at the same time is also easy to forget how far I have come in my life, from living in a really small city in my country to actually being about to finish my PhD in Italy 😁 I definitely needed some perspective and be grateful of the present

  • @FinancialShinanigan
    @FinancialShinanigan 2 роки тому +2

    Fuure isn't guaranteed but the now is, enjoy today before it becomes yesterday

  • @cloudsec3279
    @cloudsec3279 2 роки тому +2

    Why I watch a new episode every time, I feel that it is a steal - so much tangible benefits delivered in a professional way at zero cost.

  • @TheHealthPunch
    @TheHealthPunch 2 роки тому +5

    Buy the book guys, it also comes handy as a ruler. I love the way you add sponsor especially this time ❤️

  • @leighauza
    @leighauza 2 роки тому

    This was really helpful. Thank you so much.

  • @rick.austin
    @rick.austin 2 роки тому +29

    You really met the point when you described happiness as reality - expectations.
    Every time I look at famous youtuber and I start comparing myself to them I get dragged down into a spiral of negative thoughts and sense of unfulfillment.
    No matter how much you work, no matter what you achieve, there is always something that does better than you and it's your responsibility to decide if you want that to be your focus, or rather if you want to make gratitude for what you are and what you have the center of your attention.
    Thank you for this beautiful video!
    By the way @khalilah D. I also listen to "the happiness lab" podcast! It's so interesting!

  • @humairaali2109
    @humairaali2109 2 роки тому +1

    I don't have any expectations because I you feel free. If I have any that is not for me those for somebody else it is very low if it will not happen that doesn't matter. Having an expectations from others are just like building a barrier which can break easily and also it depends on other person"s control. why your happiness in somebody else's control? Your happiness should be in your control.. that's my view.

  • @spectrumhairsolutions1765
    @spectrumhairsolutions1765 2 роки тому +2

    love this video Ali. thank you for the intentionality you bring to all your content. this was so relevant and helpful

  • @BabakRahnamaofficial
    @BabakRahnamaofficial 2 роки тому

    I AM ACTUALLY VERY HAPPY THANK YOU :-)

  • @BlhJ400
    @BlhJ400 2 роки тому

    Man you are sooo successful, good for you, time is running out for me and you in 12 years old start learning to code man that's mind blowing 🤯

  • @arssa02
    @arssa02 2 роки тому

    Happines comes from solving your problems, not avoiding them. This one sentence helped me to effectively do things that matter which when are done are causing satisfaction.
    I think internet is the main problem for our happines. You always compare yourself with someone else who has something that you don't, and you feel miserable because of that. We really need to lower our expectations and enjoy the process and ordinary things that happen trough our days.

  • @NYCStateofMind7
    @NYCStateofMind7 2 роки тому +2

    Lower your expectations, even if you won’t feel happy you’ll definitely feel happier than you are now…

  • @dr.slavashut
    @dr.slavashut 2 роки тому

    Thanks. I needed to hear this today. Too often people forget that their wellbeing (and happiness included) is their own responsibility

  • @TheBradfords
    @TheBradfords 2 роки тому

    Find God in your life & happiness will follow..not promising there won't be super hard times but having God on your side during those times is very important.

    • @ScooterCat64
      @ScooterCat64 2 роки тому

      How do I know which God is the correct one?

  • @allylavender1536
    @allylavender1536 2 роки тому +1

    Really excited to watch the rest of the interview with Mo after this video!

  • @harrison1980
    @harrison1980 2 роки тому

    This is the video that I'm looking for last some years,
    Thanks Ali

  • @minaltidake8075
    @minaltidake8075 2 роки тому +1

    I love your consistency these days ❤️

  • @Shai_Katz
    @Shai_Katz 2 роки тому +2

    This video is so life changing, thank you for this💗

  • @WillBrownCars
    @WillBrownCars 2 роки тому +4

    Happiness is definitely a choice and my life has seen positive change since I realised this! I read a book called the secret and part of it teaches all about the difference an conscious positive outlook can have on overall life as well as happiness!

  • @zarintasnim4835
    @zarintasnim4835 2 роки тому +1

    This was so insightful. Thank you, Ali.

  • @LonleyCopy
    @LonleyCopy 2 роки тому

    Im happy being on my own now learning about me
    Rather in past rushing into dead end relationships im very out going but love coming home alone

  • @h_ss.n_7761
    @h_ss.n_7761 2 роки тому +4

    Hey Ali. Ur an absolute legend man

    • @shr3970
      @shr3970 2 роки тому

      glowersity channel has great inspirational videos to improve your life

  • @theaburtofamily9398
    @theaburtofamily9398 2 роки тому

    Again, killed it. Whenever I feel like I’m in a slump you so happen to post at the right time. Thank you again 🙏

  • @pearlstella
    @pearlstella 2 роки тому +1

    Hands down, this is the best video I have watched all year

  • @Kitanaii
    @Kitanaii 2 роки тому

    The past years I just waited to be able to go back overseas and I used to talk about it all the time with my friends while we were having picnics in park. And now that I am overseas, I sometimes wish I was back in that park with my friend instead....Happiness is really an inside job

  • @bernoGarcia
    @bernoGarcia 2 роки тому +1

    I like how you mixed the podcast with clips of you commenting it. love it

  • @aydenmiller8204
    @aydenmiller8204 2 роки тому +2

    Fulfilment is the aim but why not be happier along the way!

  • @bradleythorburn
    @bradleythorburn 2 роки тому

    Great video this has helped will watch the podcast next and get both Mo books

  • @Ayanda846
    @Ayanda846 2 роки тому +2

    Being in this Channel is itself a healthy habit 💖Thanks Ali for being full of life

  • @YasminFilms
    @YasminFilms 2 роки тому

    What I like about this video, and also an observation in general about Ali's channel is when the content is about finding balance and meaning the comments are thoughtful, focused, and filled with humanity. When he makes videos about 'Make ££££' and 'How I became a millionaire' the comments are all bots and scams about bitcoin.

  • @Swiiss63
    @Swiiss63 2 роки тому +5

    I consider happiness no different than anger, sadness, frustration, excitement. It's just an emotion that requires a trigger.
    As humans we familiarise with something and it doesn't bring us happiness anymore or at least not as much as it initially did.
    Hence why I believe a content mindset is far more important. Being able to accept where you are who you are brings about an inner peace that makes you happy.
    Ofc don't settle and thrive to be better than yesterday. But it's your life journey, nobody will take the wheel of your own journey for you! So whether you drive at top speed or you happened to be slower than others. The most important is that you are moving :)
    Wish you all a beautiful day!

  • @Prashansaa
    @Prashansaa 2 роки тому

    Your video gave the joy and positivity I needed. I absolutely love to read the books you recommend. ❤

  • @ikustom
    @ikustom 2 роки тому +4

    I've noticed that almost everythnig that they talk about in this video is mentioned in the book "subtle art of not giving a f*".
    pretty cool.

  • @HasanMRifat
    @HasanMRifat 2 роки тому +1

    Ali, you are a lifesaver. I follow you as like my elder brother. Love you, brother!

  • @lizzykelman
    @lizzykelman 2 роки тому +1

    This video is so amazing!!!! Thank you so much!!!😇😇😇

  • @ilhammohamed3758
    @ilhammohamed3758 2 роки тому

    This absolutely a topic I quite often my mentor always talks about this it just now clicked for me thank you

  • @parisprasad5375
    @parisprasad5375 2 роки тому

    This is what I’m ultimately going to study. Love it!

  • @aakankshasingh2589
    @aakankshasingh2589 2 роки тому +1

    THIS VIDEO IS TRULY Everting I needed in life to get me out of my dark place

  • @tipsandtricks1597
    @tipsandtricks1597 2 роки тому

    Thanks Ali for the kind of value your are putting to the world.. keep up the great work.

  • @dynamics9000
    @dynamics9000 2 роки тому

    "Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It's quite simple, really: Double your rate of failure. You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn't at all. You can be discouraged by failure or you can learn from it, so go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because remember that's where you will find success."
    -- Thomas J. Watson

  • @thirstyexplorer
    @thirstyexplorer 2 роки тому +2

    Thank you Ali for posting this video. I already feel happier 😎🤩

  • @epiphany2612
    @epiphany2612 2 роки тому

    LOVED THIS Thank YOU ❤💯💯💯

  • @bipinbharti5569
    @bipinbharti5569 2 роки тому

    Hi Ali, I am from India. I watched your videos on productivity tips and they helped me. But I request you to create a quick video on how to take care your eyes while in front of screens. Thanks

  • @saeed17
    @saeed17 2 роки тому

    A lot of the points raised in this video resonated deeply with me.

  • @MasonDavis
    @MasonDavis 2 роки тому +1

    THE KEY TO LIFE IS HAPPINESS IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD

  • @boxerjoe0077
    @boxerjoe0077 2 роки тому +1

    I really appreciate your content! The topics you choose to cover are very relatable and seem to be exactly what I need to learn. Keep it up!

  • @tommapett
    @tommapett 2 роки тому

    I always get 24 audible credits at once and that comes in less than 5£ for a book! And then I listen to them through the year!

  • @happyhealthhelp
    @happyhealthhelp 2 роки тому +1

    Thanks Ali!!

  • @rongitmukherjee
    @rongitmukherjee 2 роки тому

    Really liked this video. Lot to take away from this. Thanks!

  • @kukumuku2896
    @kukumuku2896 2 роки тому

    i implore you dear Ali to write a book describing your experience of teaching special kids/differently abled children.

  • @aaliyahussain4967
    @aaliyahussain4967 2 роки тому

    Woah!!
    Thanks, this was really needed 🙂🙃

  • @TheHealthPunch
    @TheHealthPunch 2 роки тому +1

    These are some of the really great & true points, that this book proves. What about making a Book Club video on 'That little voice in your head' ?

  • @tarahuwez8797
    @tarahuwez8797 2 роки тому

    This is my favourite video from Ali to date.

  • @zane_for_sure
    @zane_for_sure 2 роки тому

    You Change my life every single minute

  • @Anon101sss
    @Anon101sss 2 роки тому +1

    My 3rd Ali Abdaal vid of the day.. good day.

  • @mhmdsaeid5907
    @mhmdsaeid5907 2 роки тому

    All the respect and gratitude for you and Mo Gawdat, the content was great and I think I agree with everything he said, but the video was all over the place. I think this is the first time Ali does something like this where he puts a podcast clip in between him talking (regular productivity stuff).
    As I was getting into a flow with a podcast clip, I'm brought back by Ali introducing the next tip, as I got into a flow with Ali, it cut back into the podcast.
    I don't mean Hate or disrespect at all, I hope you take this as it is, constructive feedback.
    Thank you for the constant amazing content 🌹🌹

  • @dr.sandeepsingh
    @dr.sandeepsingh 2 роки тому +2

    Happiness comes from giving, not having…

  • @anna_w
    @anna_w 2 роки тому +32

    I like this content. It would be great, if you could have an interview with (for example) a doctor, who really enjoys its profession, somebody with true calling. I feel that your channel is moving towards the tutorials - 'how to live good life'. Not all people should be content creators - there are also doctors, lawyers, rocket scientist etc. :D I love Jordan Peterson and his quot 'Don't strive for happiness, strive for meaning'. Each of us could have a unique mission on this world, that help makes the whole world better.

  • @nithikab
    @nithikab 2 роки тому +3

    ur glowing bro

  • @TheBswan
    @TheBswan 2 роки тому +3

    Happiness as a choice is so important and so challenging. That first point that you don't choose absolute happiness, but you can choose incremental improvements to happiness is a great frame

  • @rmmolina
    @rmmolina 2 роки тому

    Measuring the gain, rather than the gap. That’s the key IMHO.

  • @BerCanUSA
    @BerCanUSA 2 роки тому

    Love your videos. This one is so timely. There are many professionals struggling with a post pandemic reckoning as we evaluate how to find happiness in our work life balance. As a teacher I will be sharing this with my colleagues as we return to the classrooms and seek to find a happier learning experience for all involved stakeholders.

  • @Enhma
    @Enhma 2 роки тому

    Hey ali, Just wanted to thank you for your videos

  • @raadzulqurnain3320
    @raadzulqurnain3320 2 роки тому

    Thank you Ali, I am currently in a crossroad and this indirectly helped a bit to gain perspective

  • @shehzaibirfan7629
    @shehzaibirfan7629 2 роки тому +2

    I think there is only one takeaway from this
    “Richest person in the world is the one whose heart is content”

  • @joelmeedel
    @joelmeedel 2 роки тому +2

    i really like your videos, the style and the vibe it's incrediblee🤯🤯

  • @sheikhrashid3055
    @sheikhrashid3055 2 роки тому +1

    Thanks Ali 💗

  • @perth8013
    @perth8013 2 роки тому +1

    thanks ali for making this video! you delivered the topic very clearly. i hope you will upload more videos!
    warmest regards,