"I didn't think I deserved that 'title'" really got me. I've been struggling with this for a long time. My therapist refuses to even mention the word depression, so I just don't talk about it either.
@@HattielyEverAfter1995 I should probably do that, but I've done it before and getting started with someone new is SO hard. It's slow and scary. I've told this woman soo many things, I've opened up and she does help me reflect on stuff. But she says things like "you can't let this thing affect you so much" and "here, have some lavander oil to put under your pillow before bed". Which, you know, thanks, but it's not enough right now I don't think.
Have you ever considered Cognitive Behavioural therapy. Changed my life. It teaches you to accept feelings and gives you ways to move forward from them. I can't recommend it enough. Maybe worth looking up
I think one important thing I learned throughout a year and a half of not particularly helpful or successful therapy is that you need to ask your doctor for what you need and what you need to talk about, and if your doctor or therapist disagrees then that's fine, but they should explain why
@@JackHoward hay jack i know what it's like to feel depressed and im aware that is probably not gonna help to hear some random kid say that they understand but ive been a fan of your videos since i was 12 and i need u to understand how valuable u r to me and anyone who "knows u", also say hi to dodie for me im an air conditioning
I haven't been this affected by a video in a while. Hearing you talk about the label of depression hit me so hard. My experience with friends and family was in the same vein as you were referring to. I knew what my depression was, and I had accepted it, but it felt, and it still feels like, some of them haven't. I felt like i was showing them the ingredients and they insisted my spaghetti Bolognese was out of sorts lasagne. Thank You for opening up.
xoxogossipgoat21 it’s not that they didn’t understand I had depression, but had an aversion to the word itself, which is odd because I know some of them have definitely experienced depression in their lives! It’s a very strange form of denial isn’t it? 😂🤦🏽♀️
Liberty India Rose ah! my family basically just couldn’t find the humanity in my struggle with the illness (psychosis, depression, self-harm). They just couldn’t fathom how bad it was. my dad actually kind of ridiculed it some time after a particularly bad episode, which hurt. But I knew that was him not facing his own problems by essentially denying the gravity of mental illness altogether. But time has passed and he and my mum have both started going to therapy for their own issues, so at least there’s that.
haha I love your analogy... when I told my friends I had depression they were sorta shocked, but then they started questioning it, questioning me... apparently I had been hiding it too well
When the background music stopped and you gave that small bit of speech - my heart sank. I hope that you are okay Jack. I thought you were going to talk about Annihilation first of all - but I am definitely going to watch this now. As ever - fantastic video by the Mark Kermode of UA-cam.
Jack, you've managed to make an analytic review feel like a short film in itself. Even with your foreshadowing, I was not prepared for the total bare honesty. As someone who turned the video down for fear of others overhearing and broke out in cold sweats, you have at least one viewer who agrees about needing to open up conversations and hopes things improve for you and in general. On that note, I'm ashamed of the fact I STILL haven't watched Jaws.
Why do I feel like crying? I've never seen this movie before or even heard of it for that matter and yet your explanation of it just hit different. I'm not sure how else to describe it...
That long scene about your experience with depression/doctors without any cutting shook me to my core. Damn, I'm (we're?) so used to fast-paced no breaks editing even in "slower" videos that a one-take shot feels insanely vulnerable. I felt like I was way too close for that moment. I'm so confused and like scared, and maybe impressed? I was waiting for the frame to cut so that I would be able to breathe, which must mean I wanted the comfort of something edited and therefore not completely sincere/honest - maybe? I'm really uncomfortably confused by my emotions right now....as you can see.
I have no idea if im depressed, i struggle to be happy, to enjoy things and i just want to be by myself all the time. This film is definetly one i need to watch.
I love how raw and open and honest this is, I have experienced everything mentioned in this video, tried every antidepressant out there until I found one that worked, went through years of therapy, I'm so glad you've been so open about your experience, it feels so good to know that you're not alone x
I think films like Solaris prove that by using genres like sci-fi and more fantastical elements we can explore our most human concepts. I love this film and films like it because I love using fantasy aspect to explore harsh realities
When I was 18 was diagnosed with depression, and I was paired up with a counsellor. When I had my first appointment with her, to kinda feel me out, she ended it with “sweetie I just don’t think you’re ill enough (to warrant therapy)” even though I’d just told her I was tempted to step in front of a car. Pretty shitty. Didn’t step in front of a car, I’m 23 now and hearing you be so honest about how hollow these experiences can ring, when we really need something so opposite, was weirdly comforting.
i have not seen this version of solaris but i have seen the original version by tarkovsky, which has hauntingly beautiful visuals and a very introspective, nuanced narrative. bit of a slow burn, i think it takes a lot of patience to watch it since it’s nearly 3 hours long but so so good! this one looks amazing too, gotta love soderbergh. thanks for recommending, jack, making my isolation so much better :) also thank you so much for opening up about mental health and representations of it both in real life and in cinema... although cinema, even sci-fi, can be real life, as you have wonderfully put it in this video
Being invalidated by anyone hurts, but a health professional really feels like a slap in the face. I briefly had a therapist, who I think was trying, but she said a lot of things that only made me retreat even further back than I already was.
Opening up about depression is hard and being vulnerable like that for millions of people to see is so brave. I just want to hug you and everyone who has depression and other mental illnesses or just struggled with life and hug maybe just a small part of the pain, doubt, sadness and worry out of them.
wasn't expecting this to make me cry as much as it did. being 19, without a family or friends really, i find my cptsd and other issues constantly dismissed by doctors and the people around me. this resonated a lot and put into words a lot of how i'm feeling now. thankyou jack, i truly hope you and anyone else reading this has a wonderful day. i think i'm gonna go watch solaris now
good god the lack if underscoring when talking about mental health was masterful. it made me feel like I was watching theatre. Jack your videos are honestly masterpieces. The fact I had noise cancellation on at the time and I didn't realise may have helped... but oh my lord it gave me shivers. ill stop fanboying now and watch your most recent sketch again....
Thank you for this video, Jack! Opening up about this is never easy but you and Rosianna found really good words to describe what depression can feel like. Defintely going to watch that movie!
When you opened up about your own experience it hit me hard, I’ve never heard someone speak about depression in a way I felt so close to. Every word I was like yes, someone gets it. I feel seen and understood, thank you x
Jack, thank you so much for sharing this. I'm been going through a rough patch with my mental health recently and your experiences really spoke to me. I wish you all of the best & can't wait for your next video!
My first experience with asking for help in the medical community was not great either and led me into a path of trying to handle it all on my own and pushing it down for another 8 years. What finally got me to not only accept my experience as valid but also ask for help was hearing story after story of other people's struggles, other people's mistakes, and other people's accomplishments through it all. Thank you for sharing your experiences, thank you for sharing your struggles, and thank you for sharing your walk through it. Your story may be the one that causes someone to ask for help or one in the tapestry of many, but it is valid and powerful. As cheesy as it sounds, we're not alone even when everything tells us that we are.
Beautifully honest. I like the style of this video a lot - bit of movie talk, bit of real talk. These are the kinds of conversations we should all be having.
Your name is not honestly one I've heard in a long time on this platform Jack, and I'm sorry for that. The world is horrible rn, I work 80 hours a week both on UA-cam and in retail, and I dont get chance to think and contemplate much. But I did so over yours and Rosianna's words. It's a rare indulgence for which I am thankful. Thank you both. Been so long man.
Genuinely thank you so much for sharing your story about reaching out to a doctor for your depression. I've had a similar experience and hearing that others sometimes feel that they've been slightly disregarded or misunderstood after reaching out is really comforting.
that 11 minute - 12:30 minute around area is so relatable. exact same experience with my GP too. also love how you shot that specific part with no jump cuts.
My psychologist really emphasizes validating my issues, just her saying “that sounds like it must be really hard” or “it must be really difficult to deal with that” honestly makes me feel worlds better. We don’t have to find a solution, just sit with it for a while and get that life is fucking hard sometimes.
it's so nice to not only hear negative examples of what health care professionals can do.... not to disregard everyone else's experiences, but they do paint quite a bleak picture
I know how you feel about doctors disregarding you. I have a history of depression and self harm and I went to the doctor to try and get help and a diagnosis. I was told “you only feel that way because you’re unemployed.” It was so dismissive I’ve never gone back to that doctor. I switched (years later lol bc of embarrassment and shame) just before the quarantine so we didn’t get to start anything but yeah. having serious concerns dismissed is the worst and it makes a hard thing even harder
i dont usually comment on videos but i just wanted to say thank you for voicing this. This is something i have struggled to come to terms with as I felt as if I didn't have the right to feel this way because there are people far worse off. It is so important to talk about depression and mental illness, especially at a time like this where people might struggle to talk to friends because we all feel each of us has 'too much on their plate'.
I love this. I myself went through a long depression over a year ago and just didn't know how to deal with it. Didn't seek medication. My significant other felt so inconvenienced by it that he left me. I just wanted to be understood while not really understanding what was happening to me. I didn't feel anything so I didn't know what to look for. In the aftermath of that I learned that there are very beautiful human experiences in the most unexpected pieces of science fiction. I love this video. Thank you so much.
This was great - I watched Solaris because of you making this video, and it really was brilliant. I also appreciate you sharing something so personal, it really resonated with me. Such a well thought out and honest video, it's so amazing when films can have that effect on us
I really love listening to you break down films and movies as I have rarely studied film and how a director works, it’s interesting and refreshing to hear someone break down how the movie was created. I also love how you put together this video aswell. I noticed that the background music stopped when you discussed the scene of Clooney on the phone disregarding the other persons perspective and you started to discuss your personal experience of depression. It was so subtle but it makes such an impact on the way that you discuss the topic, it is brilliant.
Since hearing that you were working on this video on the podcast, I’ve been looking forward to it’s release. What a beautiful, insightful and thought provoking essay on the film and what it means to be depressed. I watched about half of this film with my dad when I was 12, but even then it made me feel too uncomfortable that we had to stop it. I now look forward to returning to it upon hearing your insight on the film. Would be great to hear Kermode’s response to this in the next pod as a sort of conclusion to your Soderbergh discussion. Thanks for this:)
I never knew there was a Hollywood adaptation and never knew it was based on a book by a Polish author. The only version I watched was the Soviet one. And it was a heavy one both because of the same topics discussed in this video and because of the lack of dynamic scenes and the lack of fancy technologies and editing techniques available at that time. So it all contributed to conveying the atmosphere of dealing with psychological problems while being isolated far far away from Earth. Something I wish I could see more in modern space sci-fi movies like Ad Astra (Tommy Lee Jones's character), Interstellar or that Titanic-y movie with Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt. But it was never on the same level. Although I don't rate Tarkovsky's film too high overall, I still realize its importance for the history of filmmaking. It added to the ignition of my interest in the way film directors picture depression and other psychological struggles. I find this video very helpful and will definitely check out Soderbergh's film.
just watched it and cried whilst watching this video. after losing my older sister during my childhood and forming a deep, ongoing depression, this film just broke me. thank you jack for shedding some light on this film.
The video hit hard, so close to home it's practically knocking on my door. I've fought with depression for as long as I can remember and my biggest fear is not being genuinely listened to and having my thoughts shrugged off by others, which many have done when I tried to open up. I've even been told that it could be much worse, that others have it worse. And worst of all, once someone learns that I have depression they automatically start communicating to me like I'm a child with a lower IQ which hurts badly.. And there have been people who think that they can magically cure me by telling me to get over with only in a more sugar coated way, that their words have this magic touch that will make my big bad depression go away for good. And if it didn't work, they turned hostile towards me and started making me feel guilty for having depression, making me feel ashamed. Making me feel cornered. I rarely open up to people .. I hide behind this mask of stupid jokes and so on. Playing along to others who don't take me seriously. But watching this video, when the music stopped and you opened up and expressed thoughts I've gone through myself, somehow it helped. I did start crying but at the same time felt for the first time in a while that there actually are people out there who do understand genuinely what I've gone through and won't judge me or make me feel ashamed or guilty for being the way I am. This ended up long .. I just wanted to thank you for making this video. It's really important.
How is it that everything you say, no matter how heart breaking, is like poetry and, more importantly, really drives home the message. I've had a hard time lately and all the thoughts that you mentioned here really have been racing through my mind. Just hearing someone who I personally admire give me confirmation and hope is so special and so important to me. Thank you for sharing so many amazing messages and lessons through your love of film- it's both engaging and entertaining and it's really wonderful to hear what you have to say in every video. Your message of just listening to someone and giving them confirmation is something I've been working on and it was a good reminder to keep working on it. Mental health still is a taboo topic and I think that if it weren't so taboo, then the experiences that people have with it wouldn't be as awful as they are. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story. I relate to your story, and the hope and kindness in your voice has really given me hope, even just for now. Thank you for being such a wonderful human being and please, never stop sharing so many messages, movies, shows, and lessons. After all, films are all stories, and it tends to be that the best ones are the ones that are based on real life. Thank you, and I hope you find someone who really listens to you and gives you the confirmation you need
Due to.. experiences I know exactly what you mean when you say "I don't feel like I deserve that title". I still feel that way but I honestly have never heard it put into words this well. Thank you, for letting us in and for being vulnerable. Also thanks for making me cry at 2 am.
"Why would anyone want to hear what I have to say". I thought this so.many.times. when I was struggling with depression in college. I still get in this mindset and it's hard to shake at times. I'm so incredibly grateful for this video. Thank you for opening up about mental health.
Ugh you have literally described my thoughts about my depression exactly. I have thought for so long that Im not bad enough to need help, people have it worse, I'm lucky to be where I am right now. I don't deserve help. But yesterday I reached out for the first time and will hopefully have some clarity on my mental health. As soon as you said You wanted some professional to say yes, you are depressed, that is exactly the thing I want. Obviously again not in that way but to confirm or maybe not, whether I am actually depressed and its the not knowing that has put me off for so long. It's that limbo of well maybe I am alright and I can just carry on the way I am and it'll go away. Or maybe I am depressed and I'll be able to look back and make sense of my feelings properly. Sorry for rambling, Jack, you are amazing at what you do. I hope your doing well and thank you for your words.
The path you went down relating the film to your own experience felt so natural. Often i try to find a piece of media to help portray how i feel. Yet this video felt like the inverse in that, the way you explained your personal experience perfectly explained the nature of the film.
this movie and this video is fantastic. i watched this video a few days ago. i hadn’t watched your content in a while, but i’ve been struggling a bit lately and was curious when i saw this pop up in my feed. and the way you look at the camera, at me, felt like you understood. you didn’t even say much that was specifically personal but i had such an intimate sense that you understood. i can’t describe how strangely comforting it was and still is as i rewatch it now. i hadn’t seen or even heard of Solaris. watching this video convinced me to try it out though i worried a bit that by watching this video i would have spoiled the experience for myself. boy was i wrong. the tone of the movie immediately threw me off. i’m not even sure how to calculate the effect it had on me while watching it. i honestly forgot half of what you told me and it felt so confusing and dreamy. i was steeped in it and it was wonderful. thanks, jack.
thanks for making such a touching and genuine video, i was fully expecting like a promo of a mental health charity or smth, or some sponsorship of some sort. thats what youtube has come to more often than not. but im so happy youre still making things like this without influence, on your own accord. it really hit home some of the things you said, my dad took his own life nearly 3 years ago now. i wish that he had been learned to accept his issues and for those around him to accept them, maybe he'd still be around if we'd paid more attention. its clearly a before and after having him in my life kind of time divide. nothing being the same again, which i have kind of accepted. but the time with him stretches further away and gets blurrier which is so terrifying for me. i hope you get the help you need x youre great :)
Hey, I totally appreciate you sharing about your mental health, Jack. For the last 10 years, I've had that very same longing for someone to confirm my suspicions and give a name to that awful, scary thing I'm feeling. I've felt dismissed by family, friends, GPs, and even some mental health professionals. In spite of all that, I think that for the first time in all these 10 years I actually feel like I'm 'motivated' to face and treat my bad mental health rather than resign myself to living in an abusive relationship with it. Anyway, good luck on your journey towards having a more friendly brain, and thanks again for sharing!
Is everyone just going to brush over the fact that Jack has completely and appropriately defined how it feels to be depressed and how that affects a person because I'm here with my feelings crying and clenching my chest because I knew someone out there understood what I was feeling and I didn't know how badly I needed confirmation that they do.
Jack, it's so good that you're taking the step to openly share your depression. I'm sorry to hear that you're having to deal with it, or manage it, not being sure if it's acute or chronic. My wife has dealt with depression for a long time, and it scares me to death when I see it trickle up in her. I know there's only a very little I can do; to listen to her when she needs me, and to make her laugh in the moments in between. I hope you find your way through, everyone deserves a shot at happiness.
I'm so glad to hear someone talk about films like this, as someone who has been (recently) diagnosed with major depressive disorder it means a lot to me. I'm really thankful for finding a decent therapist, but it doesn't stop me from feeling guilty. I've been conditioned to believe that you can "pray your problems away" and that is so so toxic. Anyway sorry about rambling. my point here is: if you need help, you should be taken seriously. No one deserves to suffer in silence
ahh Jack, once again, its like you reached into my brain and heart and took all the thoughts and feelings and made them into sentences. You'll forever be my favourite creator and human
i went and watched the movie. first time in a few days i've been pulled into a very different mood. part of me wants to directly discuss what you shared about your experiences with the gp with a story of my own, but i don't think i want to write about that right now. but thank you for being open with us, jack. a lot of what you discussed in this video ties directly into all the spectator theory i learnt during film school and man, i live for that shit. but right now i want to talk about solaris herself. when i first saw her, i thought that the design of her looked like an eye. i honestly hadn't put the biblical references together until you mentioned it but it makes sense. i spent more of the film wondering about her than i did a lot of the others. i picked up on Snow being the visitor pretty early on, and with the title of this video i knew that depression played a big part in the story. i found myself wondering more if solaris was trying to understand what grief was like. or just... what humans were like. the way she changed colour as rheya got worse, like she hadn't experienced pain like that from her side before. i had far more coherent points in my head that i wish i'd written down sooner i just. solaris' transformation throughout the story was fascinating to me. it was like watching something distant try to understand the human condition.
Thank you for talking about mental health within movies! We need more honest depictions like this, and always more people talking about their experiences. I would highly recommend seeing the movie Band Aid. It's not a sci-fi, but the way it delves into mental health and communication is unlike any other movie I've seen. It's really well done, and I would love to see your response to it. I've put Solaris on my list of movies to watch. Although it's not a new movie, I appreciate your videos on movies that aren't new because I work in a library and although I shelve many movies, I'd never be able to watch them all, and I always appreciate your insights.
a great, articulate video, you’re brilliant at expressing your passion and it makes all your videos like this very interesting to watch. it was also lovely to see such vulnerability- felt very poignant to me and i’m sure everyone else, so much appreciated!
I’ve never watched a video of yours before, nor have I watched a sci-fi film, but praise for this came up in my twitter feed so I clicked to watch. This was AMAZING. I’ve had depression for a few years and this summed it up so well- both the clips you chose and your personal experience. It means a lot. New sub :)
I have a weird anxiety thing where I don't enjoy watching movies (except documentairies) but I love listening to you talk about movies. It may sound silly, but I always felt kind of left out because movies are a big part of our culture and people talk about them a lot. Now I can join those conversations without my anxiety being in the way.
Wow this video took a turn, not that I'm complaining mind you, just didn't expect such a heavy dialogue after all of that giddy gushing about a wonderful film. Thank you for sharing with us and I'm glad you've been able to get some help. We're here for you too Jack and we want the best for you
Thank you so much for sharing this. Your discussion of mental health and representation was so respectfully done and wonderful, and it makes even more sense after you shared your own experiences. Just a huge, huge thank you for releasing such a powerful video which will undoubtedly help other people talk about their own experiences too.
okay normally i watch videos like this before i ever watch the movie (spoilers don’t bother me and i like to get hyped about things sometimes) despite warnings from creators to go into certain movies blind. but just a couple minutes into this video i KNEW i had to watch this movie before i watched this video. i don’t want to change the way this movie affects me, so i’ll be back maybe in a day or two when i’ve been able to watch the movie and i’m well excited
Hey Jack - I hear you. I went through the same thing a few years back, and I was so lucky to find a therapist who just listened. It was a breath of much needed air to talk to someone who couldn't be shocked by anything I said, because it didn't have any consequence to her. Two years of that, with some meds at the start and a little bit of advice thrown in, and I am now doing so much better. Good luck with this journey, which will be hard, for sure, but I don't doubt that in the process you'll become stronger and wiser. Also, thank you for your honesty in this vid - I'm sure there'll be many who are strengthened by it.
I’m sorry to hear you had that experience with a health professional. As a therapist, I learn so much from actually Hearing my clients’ and other peoples’ previous attempts to open up to other professionals and how I can do my best to support them and make that good first impression. Thank you for sharing Jack
I've missed your videos and I really loved seeing this movie review and you opening. So many of us really like you as a creator and wish you happiness along your mental health journey. We are all here supporting!
Been thinking about this for a while!!! Between Solaris, Ad Astra, First Man (although, wouldn’t really count it as a sci-fi) it’s super interesting how Hollywood portrays space as the epicentre for sad leads
I had a rough night and I was watching this video at 2:05 even though slightly unrelated helped me realize something about my past so I thank you for just doing that for me
Thank you so much for opening up to us about your relationship with mental health. That takes a huge amount of bravery and I appreciate that you were willing to share your perspective to help other people and get conversations going. This definitely looks like a movie I'll have to check out.
The past couple of months I think I was doing fine. Like being happy and ok with my self. But this week out of nowhere I started feeling low. And when you started talking about depression it just hit me and I almost cried. I am not officially diagnost but in the past I was in really bad place but I think slowly I am doing better but still I have moments that really really hard. I have never seen the movie but thank you for doing that video it makes me feel kinda ok with myself and like I am not the only one who feels like that.
You're so incredibly brave to open up about your personal struggles and thank you for bringing these types of struggles up as they're not spoken about enough
Just finished watching Solaris. To me this film was about the need of other people to make us happy. Or at least that’s what we THINK we need. The struggle of feeling content in ourselves without someone else’s love/presence is a tough thing to achieve. So tough that a false reality is more appeasing than an actual one. Very interesting movie that pulls off something rare in sci-fi. Genuine, relatable emotion.
Allthough it was in the titel your honest moment about depression caught me off guard... you are really strong to be able to share such a raw and vulnerable side of you. Thank you for that :)
TW/CW: depression and suicidal thoughts/techniques I wasn’t expecting this video to affect me so deeply, but here we are. Labeling and naming depression is so scary and can be so helpful and it was something that really helped me years ago and still helps me now. It’s a real thing, there’s a word. I also have a lot of thoughts about Solaris and the rest of this video. The first time I watched Solaris was in 2016 during my sophomore spring semester. It was in Religion and the Paranormal in the Contemporary American Imagination, which was the class that led me to major in religious studies. It was also during a really dark time in my life. School was hard, my personal relationships were not healthy, and my depression was hitting me hard. I don’t actually remember much about the movie. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t paying attention. I wasn’t paying attention to anything in general, but in class the day we watched Solaris, I wasn’t even trying; I was looking up information about how to commit suicide by slitting my wrists. Yeah. (Side note: I didn’t try then and have never tried.) The movie didn’t make sense to me, but I blamed that on the movie itself; no one else in my class seemed to understand it, so surely I hadn’t missed anything during my googling. We discussed the idea of Solaris being God, or a god, as well as a non-religious, paranormal force; what changes between those interpretations? What is the movie saying about God, belief, and the paranormal? All the things you’d expect from a class about representations and interpretations of religion(s) and the paranormal in American media. Not to say it wasn’t a good and interesting discussion and class, but nothing from that discussion stuck with me, whether because of the discussion itself or my personal state of mind. So! Fast forward four years, I’ve graduated, I’m applying to grad school, I’ve made progress in handling my depression. And now I’m wandering around UA-cam because I don’t want to get up yet and here’s a video about sci-fi and depression from a guy I like and respect. So I click the video and he’s talking about this movie I vaguely remember and I don’t have work today, so why not watch it? And it turns out, it’s better than my first impression of a needlessly confusing, kind of boring movie. It’s actually really good, well made, well shot, well acted. And the story isn’t as confusing as I’d thought. If I’d paid attention the first time, I probably would’ve enjoyed it and found a lot to relate to. Depression and unhealthy relationships are the major themes and they feel like mine did. Solaris shows the difficulty in recognizing and escaping depressive episodes and unhealthy (or even downright hurtful and dangerous) relationships. Back in 2016, I was desperately clinging to a person and a relationship that wasn’t healthy and that was over, even if I wouldn’t admit it. I was insistent that if I could keep that person, everything would be okay, we’d be able to deal with our mental issues and we’d live happily ever after. It doesn’t work that way and even Kelvin’s “happy ending” isn’t that happy; he dies, crashing into Solaris. I’m not gonna get into the religious side of the movie, it’s pretty clear and not the part that stuck out and resonated with me. It’s a worthwhile topic, but not one that I’m super interested in exploring right now. I’m so glad I watched Solaris again and gave it a real chance, with no distractions. And this video summed up a lot of my feelings about it, as well as sci-fi, media, and mental illness in general. Also, doctors not taking you seriously sucks and is one of the most invalidating experiences. Last week I spoke with a doctor about start hrt and she basically said that I hadn’t been exploring my gender long enough (for it to be legit?), especially without a psychiatric diagnosis of gender dysphoria. So, yeah, I won’t be seeing her again, but it still hurt and made me feel like my gender identity wasn’t real or valid (plus my parents feel basically the same about me taking hormones and think I should wait). I hope everyone is able to find professionals who take them seriously.
Someone's on a Soderberg/Clooney marathon! But on a serious note, fuuuck. This video hit me in a way I didn't expect, especially the last three minutes or so. Thank you for making it, this is the right time.
I love this video. I love all your videos - they’re funny and insightful and really knowledgable but not pretentious and you work so hard on each one of them. Easily one of my favourite channels and favourite people on UA-cam.
I hadn't seen it. I stopped the video right where you said go and watch it and come back after... Being the procrastinator I am, it only took me 18 days to watch Solaris, even if it's only 1h38min long. Anyway, it was a worth watch, especially for this video and all the thoughts I have now about it. Thank you Jack!
Hey, that was really good. I'm moved when I see people opening up and telling their truths with such courage. Mixed in with really interesting analysis of a film I loved and which made me think a lot. Brilliant. Thank you
I somehow accidentally clicked on this and just keep watching because i dont want to do my uni work (not that i dont find you videos interesting, I'm just not big into film) but when you started talking about your experience at the GP i just started crying because that is EXACTLY the same reason I finally let my friend convince me to go, and the GP pretty much said 'you're probably just tired because of iron deficiency, but let me know if you want meds'. All I wanted was to be heard. I wanted someone to tell me I wasnt just being dramatic, and that it was real
Just came back to watch the rest after watching solaris last night. Great recommendation, psychological thrillers are my favourite, so to mix that with romance horror etc etc was a treat. I had the same need for confirmation of "something" still kind of do, but I feel like if, you feel like you need that, you're probably humble enough to trust your own opinion. Keep up the good work and thank you for being brave enough to be vulnerable, we all are.
11:10 I had a similar experience, though I went straight to a therapist and he diagnosed me with "mild" depression and through a couple therapy sessions I realized that because I was still somewhat eloquent and didn't cry and rationalized my feelings and smiled and made him laugh... he thought I was fine
Oh shit well guess I have to watch this and CRY FOR A WHILE NOW
Or freak out probably both
anyway gd vid
I know it’s good because I feel uneasy about watching this film lol
I would love to talk to you about it Dippledopple
making quarantine less boring ty jack xx
Hey Alex :)
Ly
Hey Alex 👋
Last person id expect in the comments
This channel is slowly becoming a Steven Soderbergh fan channel.
Not complaining honestly.
As someone who has a very limited film background (i.e. If the movie exists, assume I have not seen it), I appreciate this Soderbergh auteur class.
"I didn't think I deserved that 'title'" really got me. I've been struggling with this for a long time. My therapist refuses to even mention the word depression, so I just don't talk about it either.
@ Camila Rodríguez would u consider looking for a different therapist? X
@@HattielyEverAfter1995 I should probably do that, but I've done it before and getting started with someone new is SO hard. It's slow and scary. I've told this woman soo many things, I've opened up and she does help me reflect on stuff. But she says things like "you can't let this thing affect you so much" and "here, have some lavander oil to put under your pillow before bed". Which, you know, thanks, but it's not enough right now I don't think.
Have you ever considered Cognitive Behavioural therapy. Changed my life. It teaches you to accept feelings and gives you ways to move forward from them. I can't recommend it enough. Maybe worth looking up
@@douglascurrie8758 I'll look into it, thanks :)
I think one important thing I learned throughout a year and a half of not particularly helpful or successful therapy is that you need to ask your doctor for what you need and what you need to talk about, and if your doctor or therapist disagrees then that's fine, but they should explain why
I’ve never seen it so I’ll be back in an hour and a half
I like that Emma. I like that a lot.
@@JackHoward hay jack i know what it's like to feel depressed and im aware that is probably not gonna help to hear some random kid say that they understand but ive been a fan of your videos since i was 12 and i need u to understand how valuable u r to me and anyone who "knows u", also say hi to dodie for me im an air conditioning
I haven't been this affected by a video in a while. Hearing you talk about the label of depression hit me so hard. My experience with friends and family was in the same vein as you were referring to. I knew what my depression was, and I had accepted it, but it felt, and it still feels like, some of them haven't. I felt like i was showing them the ingredients and they insisted my spaghetti Bolognese was out of sorts lasagne. Thank You for opening up.
Liberty India Rose oh dear I know exactly what you mean, my family thinks the exact same way about what my mental illness was
xoxogossipgoat21 it’s not that they didn’t understand I had depression, but had an aversion to the word itself, which is odd because I know some of them have definitely experienced depression in their lives! It’s a very strange form of denial isn’t it? 😂🤦🏽♀️
Liberty India Rose ah! my family basically just couldn’t find the humanity in my struggle with the illness (psychosis, depression, self-harm). They just couldn’t fathom how bad it was. my dad actually kind of ridiculed it some time after a particularly bad episode, which hurt. But I knew that was him not facing his own problems by essentially denying the gravity of mental illness altogether. But time has passed and he and my mum have both started going to therapy for their own issues, so at least there’s that.
haha I love your analogy... when I told my friends I had depression they were sorta shocked, but then they started questioning it, questioning me... apparently I had been hiding it too well
xoxogossipgoat21 oh gosh I’m so sorry you had to go through that but I’m glad things have changed for the better :)
When the background music stopped and you gave that small bit of speech - my heart sank. I hope that you are okay Jack.
I thought you were going to talk about Annihilation first of all - but I am definitely going to watch this now. As ever - fantastic video by the Mark Kermode of UA-cam.
Jack, you've managed to make an analytic review feel like a short film in itself. Even with your foreshadowing, I was not prepared for the total bare honesty. As someone who turned the video down for fear of others overhearing and broke out in cold sweats, you have at least one viewer who agrees about needing to open up conversations and hopes things improve for you and in general. On that note, I'm ashamed of the fact I STILL haven't watched Jaws.
That first sentence is a tremendous compliment and I thank you. Hope you’re well. Watch Jaws.
@@JackHoward Honoured, and will do.
came for a review. Stayed for the life lessons. 10/10 would recommend JackHoward.
Why do I feel like crying? I've never seen this movie before or even heard of it for that matter and yet your explanation of it just hit different. I'm not sure how else to describe it...
Ooft this hits home hard. Thank you for being so open and honest about such a tough topic.
Currently Hannah thanks for watching Hannah
That long scene about your experience with depression/doctors without any cutting shook me to my core. Damn, I'm (we're?) so used to fast-paced no breaks editing even in "slower" videos that a one-take shot feels insanely vulnerable. I felt like I was way too close for that moment. I'm so confused and like scared, and maybe impressed? I was waiting for the frame to cut so that I would be able to breathe, which must mean I wanted the comfort of something edited and therefore not completely sincere/honest - maybe? I'm really uncomfortably confused by my emotions right now....as you can see.
Sara I hope you’re okay and thank you for this incredible compliment. Genuinely!
I have no idea if im depressed, i struggle to be happy, to enjoy things and i just want to be by myself all the time.
This film is definetly one i need to watch.
I started hearing what you said from 11 minutes on and I cried. Because I recognise so much of that in myself.
Hearing you talk about mental health makes me feel so much less alone. Thank you
I love how raw and open and honest this is, I have experienced everything mentioned in this video, tried every antidepressant out there until I found one that worked, went through years of therapy, I'm so glad you've been so open about your experience, it feels so good to know that you're not alone x
I think films like Solaris prove that by using genres like sci-fi and more fantastical elements we can explore our most human concepts. I love this film and films like it because I love using fantasy aspect to explore harsh realities
When I was 18 was diagnosed with depression, and I was paired up with a counsellor. When I had my first appointment with her, to kinda feel me out, she ended it with “sweetie I just don’t think you’re ill enough (to warrant therapy)” even though I’d just told her I was tempted to step in front of a car. Pretty shitty. Didn’t step in front of a car, I’m 23 now and hearing you be so honest about how hollow these experiences can ring, when we really need something so opposite, was weirdly comforting.
i have not seen this version of solaris but i have seen the original version by tarkovsky, which has hauntingly beautiful visuals and a very introspective, nuanced narrative. bit of a slow burn, i think it takes a lot of patience to watch it since it’s nearly 3 hours long but so so good! this one looks amazing too, gotta love soderbergh. thanks for recommending, jack, making my isolation so much better :) also thank you so much for opening up about mental health and representations of it both in real life and in cinema... although cinema, even sci-fi, can be real life, as you have wonderfully put it in this video
i need a love button not just a like button.
this neeeeeeds to be a thing!!!!!!
Being invalidated by anyone hurts, but a health professional really feels like a slap in the face. I briefly had a therapist, who I think was trying, but she said a lot of things that only made me retreat even further back than I already was.
You should make more videos like this. I love hearing you gush about films that you’re clearly very passionate about.
really enjoying the more frequent uploads lately jack. appreciate the effort :)
Opening up about depression is hard and being vulnerable like that for millions of people to see is so brave. I just want to hug you and everyone who has depression and other mental illnesses or just struggled with life and hug maybe just a small part of the pain, doubt, sadness and worry out of them.
wasn't expecting this to make me cry as much as it did. being 19, without a family or friends really, i find my cptsd and other issues constantly dismissed by doctors and the people around me. this resonated a lot and put into words a lot of how i'm feeling now. thankyou jack, i truly hope you and anyone else reading this has a wonderful day. i think i'm gonna go watch solaris now
good god the lack if underscoring when talking about mental health was masterful. it made me feel like I was watching theatre. Jack your videos are honestly masterpieces. The fact I had noise cancellation on at the time and I didn't realise may have helped... but oh my lord it gave me shivers. ill stop fanboying now and watch your most recent sketch again....
Thank you
Thank you for this video, Jack! Opening up about this is never easy but you and Rosianna found really good words to describe what depression can feel like. Defintely going to watch that movie!
When you opened up about your own experience it hit me hard, I’ve never heard someone speak about depression in a way I felt so close to. Every word I was like yes, someone gets it. I feel seen and understood, thank you x
Jack, thank you so much for sharing this. I'm been going through a rough patch with my mental health recently and your experiences really spoke to me. I wish you all of the best & can't wait for your next video!
My first experience with asking for help in the medical community was not great either and led me into a path of trying to handle it all on my own and pushing it down for another 8 years. What finally got me to not only accept my experience as valid but also ask for help was hearing story after story of other people's struggles, other people's mistakes, and other people's accomplishments through it all. Thank you for sharing your experiences, thank you for sharing your struggles, and thank you for sharing your walk through it. Your story may be the one that causes someone to ask for help or one in the tapestry of many, but it is valid and powerful. As cheesy as it sounds, we're not alone even when everything tells us that we are.
Beautifully honest.
I like the style of this video a lot - bit of movie talk, bit of real talk. These are the kinds of conversations we should all be having.
Your name is not honestly one I've heard in a long time on this platform Jack, and I'm sorry for that. The world is horrible rn, I work 80 hours a week both on UA-cam and in retail, and I dont get chance to think and contemplate much. But I did so over yours and Rosianna's words. It's a rare indulgence for which I am thankful. Thank you both. Been so long man.
Genuinely thank you so much for sharing your story about reaching out to a doctor for your depression. I've had a similar experience and hearing that others sometimes feel that they've been slightly disregarded or misunderstood after reaching out is really comforting.
that 11 minute - 12:30 minute around area is so relatable. exact same experience with my GP too. also love how you shot that specific part with no jump cuts.
My psychologist really emphasizes validating my issues, just her saying “that sounds like it must be really hard” or “it must be really difficult to deal with that” honestly makes me feel worlds better. We don’t have to find a solution, just sit with it for a while and get that life is fucking hard sometimes.
it's so nice to not only hear negative examples of what health care professionals can do.... not to disregard everyone else's experiences, but they do paint quite a bleak picture
I know how you feel about doctors disregarding you. I have a history of depression and self harm and I went to the doctor to try and get help and a diagnosis. I was told “you only feel that way because you’re unemployed.” It was so dismissive I’ve never gone back to that doctor. I switched (years later lol bc of embarrassment and shame) just before the quarantine so we didn’t get to start anything but yeah. having serious concerns dismissed is the worst and it makes a hard thing even harder
Omg that sucks!!! You didn't deserve that at all. I'm glad you're getting help now!
oh man, good for you for finding a new doctor though! keep up the self-care once you can, it's worth it
i dont usually comment on videos but i just wanted to say thank you for voicing this. This is something i have struggled to come to terms with as I felt as if I didn't have the right to feel this way because there are people far worse off. It is so important to talk about depression and mental illness, especially at a time like this where people might struggle to talk to friends because we all feel each of us has 'too much on their plate'.
I love this. I myself went through a long depression over a year ago and just didn't know how to deal with it. Didn't seek medication. My significant other felt so inconvenienced by it that he left me. I just wanted to be understood while not really understanding what was happening to me. I didn't feel anything so I didn't know what to look for. In the aftermath of that I learned that there are very beautiful human experiences in the most unexpected pieces of science fiction. I love this video. Thank you so much.
Thank you for talking about depression and all the thinking patterns that make live hard for the affected person
This was great - I watched Solaris because of you making this video, and it really was brilliant. I also appreciate you sharing something so personal, it really resonated with me. Such a well thought out and honest video, it's so amazing when films can have that effect on us
This was so refreshing and just nice to listen to. Thank you for sharing Jack.
I really love listening to you break down films and movies as I have rarely studied film and how a director works, it’s interesting and refreshing to hear someone break down how the movie was created. I also love how you put together this video aswell. I noticed that the background music stopped when you discussed the scene of Clooney on the phone disregarding the other persons perspective and you started to discuss your personal experience of depression. It was so subtle but it makes such an impact on the way that you discuss the topic, it is brilliant.
Since hearing that you were working on this video on the podcast, I’ve been looking forward to it’s release. What a beautiful, insightful and thought provoking essay on the film and what it means to be depressed. I watched about half of this film with my dad when I was 12, but even then it made me feel too uncomfortable that we had to stop it. I now look forward to returning to it upon hearing your insight on the film. Would be great to hear Kermode’s response to this in the next pod as a sort of conclusion to your Soderbergh discussion. Thanks for this:)
I never knew there was a Hollywood adaptation and never knew it was based on a book by a Polish author. The only version I watched was the Soviet one. And it was a heavy one both because of the same topics discussed in this video and because of the lack of dynamic scenes and the lack of fancy technologies and editing techniques available at that time. So it all contributed to conveying the atmosphere of dealing with psychological problems while being isolated far far away from Earth. Something I wish I could see more in modern space sci-fi movies like Ad Astra (Tommy Lee Jones's character), Interstellar or that Titanic-y movie with Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt. But it was never on the same level. Although I don't rate Tarkovsky's film too high overall, I still realize its importance for the history of filmmaking. It added to the ignition of my interest in the way film directors picture depression and other psychological struggles.
I find this video very helpful and will definitely check out Soderbergh's film.
just watched it and cried whilst watching this video. after losing my older sister during my childhood and forming a deep, ongoing depression, this film just broke me. thank you jack for shedding some light on this film.
I’m sorry about your sister. I hope you’re doing okay. Thank you watching and I’m glad you got something out of the film too!
JackHoward thank you for replying, you’re a good guy jack. I wish more people were as genuine as you! Hope you and your family are well.
The script for this video was brilliant
Thank you
Lots of hugs to you, Jack! ❤️
Also very interested in this film, now, I'm gonna get on to watching it soon.
The video hit hard, so close to home it's practically knocking on my door. I've fought with depression for as long as I can remember and my biggest fear is not being genuinely listened to and having my thoughts shrugged off by others, which many have done when I tried to open up. I've even been told that it could be much worse, that others have it worse. And worst of all, once someone learns that I have depression they automatically start communicating to me like I'm a child with a lower IQ which hurts badly.. And there have been people who think that they can magically cure me by telling me to get over with only in a more sugar coated way, that their words have this magic touch that will make my big bad depression go away for good. And if it didn't work, they turned hostile towards me and started making me feel guilty for having depression, making me feel ashamed. Making me feel cornered. I rarely open up to people .. I hide behind this mask of stupid jokes and so on. Playing along to others who don't take me seriously. But watching this video, when the music stopped and you opened up and expressed thoughts I've gone through myself, somehow it helped. I did start crying but at the same time felt for the first time in a while that there actually are people out there who do understand genuinely what I've gone through and won't judge me or make me feel ashamed or guilty for being the way I am. This ended up long .. I just wanted to thank you for making this video. It's really important.
How is it that everything you say, no matter how heart breaking, is like poetry and, more importantly, really drives home the message. I've had a hard time lately and all the thoughts that you mentioned here really have been racing through my mind. Just hearing someone who I personally admire give me confirmation and hope is so special and so important to me. Thank you for sharing so many amazing messages and lessons through your love of film- it's both engaging and entertaining and it's really wonderful to hear what you have to say in every video. Your message of just listening to someone and giving them confirmation is something I've been working on and it was a good reminder to keep working on it. Mental health still is a taboo topic and I think that if it weren't so taboo, then the experiences that people have with it wouldn't be as awful as they are. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story. I relate to your story, and the hope and kindness in your voice has really given me hope, even just for now. Thank you for being such a wonderful human being and please, never stop sharing so many messages, movies, shows, and lessons. After all, films are all stories, and it tends to be that the best ones are the ones that are based on real life. Thank you, and I hope you find someone who really listens to you and gives you the confirmation you need
Due to.. experiences I know exactly what you mean when you say "I don't feel like I deserve that title". I still feel that way but I honestly have never heard it put into words this well. Thank you, for letting us in and for being vulnerable. Also thanks for making me cry at 2 am.
"Why would anyone want to hear what I have to say". I thought this so.many.times. when I was struggling with depression in college. I still get in this mindset and it's hard to shake at times. I'm so incredibly grateful for this video. Thank you for opening up about mental health.
Ugh you have literally described my thoughts about my depression exactly. I have thought for so long that Im not bad enough to need help, people have it worse, I'm lucky to be where I am right now. I don't deserve help. But yesterday I reached out for the first time and will hopefully have some clarity on my mental health. As soon as you said You wanted some professional to say yes, you are depressed, that is exactly the thing I want. Obviously again not in that way but to confirm or maybe not, whether I am actually depressed and its the not knowing that has put me off for so long. It's that limbo of well maybe I am alright and I can just carry on the way I am and it'll go away. Or maybe I am depressed and I'll be able to look back and make sense of my feelings properly. Sorry for rambling, Jack, you are amazing at what you do. I hope your doing well and thank you for your words.
thank you for being so open and raw (and for convincing me to watch this stunning film!)
The path you went down relating the film to your own experience felt so natural. Often i try to find a piece of media to help portray how i feel. Yet this video felt like the inverse in that, the way you explained your personal experience perfectly explained the nature of the film.
this movie and this video is fantastic.
i watched this video a few days ago. i hadn’t watched your content in a while, but i’ve been struggling a bit lately and was curious when i saw this pop up in my feed.
and the way you look at the camera, at me, felt like you understood. you didn’t even say much that was specifically personal but i had such an intimate sense that you understood. i can’t describe how strangely comforting it was and still is as i rewatch it now.
i hadn’t seen or even heard of Solaris. watching this video convinced me to try it out though i worried a bit that by watching this video i would have spoiled the experience for myself.
boy was i wrong.
the tone of the movie immediately threw me off. i’m not even sure how to calculate the effect it had on me while watching it. i honestly forgot half of what you told me and it felt so confusing and dreamy. i was steeped in it and it was wonderful.
thanks, jack.
You are the one of the best UA-camrs about, I love the podcast as well. Please for the love of god never stop x
thanks for making such a touching and genuine video, i was fully expecting like a promo of a mental health charity or smth, or some sponsorship of some sort. thats what youtube has come to more often than not. but im so happy youre still making things like this without influence, on your own accord. it really hit home some of the things you said, my dad took his own life nearly 3 years ago now. i wish that he had been learned to accept his issues and for those around him to accept them, maybe he'd still be around if we'd paid more attention. its clearly a before and after having him in my life kind of time divide. nothing being the same again, which i have kind of accepted. but the time with him stretches further away and gets blurrier which is so terrifying for me. i hope you get the help you need x youre great :)
I always look forward to your content and it never lets down! thank you for being so open and offering your perspective
Hey, I totally appreciate you sharing about your mental health, Jack. For the last 10 years, I've had that very same longing for someone to confirm my suspicions and give a name to that awful, scary thing I'm feeling. I've felt dismissed by family, friends, GPs, and even some mental health professionals. In spite of all that, I think that for the first time in all these 10 years I actually feel like I'm 'motivated' to face and treat my bad mental health rather than resign myself to living in an abusive relationship with it. Anyway, good luck on your journey towards having a more friendly brain, and thanks again for sharing!
Is everyone just going to brush over the fact that Jack has completely and appropriately defined how it feels to be depressed and how that affects a person because I'm here with my feelings crying and clenching my chest because I knew someone out there understood what I was feeling and I didn't know how badly I needed confirmation that they do.
Jack, it's so good that you're taking the step to openly share your depression. I'm sorry to hear that you're having to deal with it, or manage it, not being sure if it's acute or chronic. My wife has dealt with depression for a long time, and it scares me to death when I see it trickle up in her. I know there's only a very little I can do; to listen to her when she needs me, and to make her laugh in the moments in between. I hope you find your way through, everyone deserves a shot at happiness.
I'm so glad to hear someone talk about films like this, as someone who has been (recently) diagnosed with major depressive disorder it means a lot to me. I'm really thankful for finding a decent therapist, but it doesn't stop me from feeling guilty. I've been conditioned to believe that you can "pray your problems away" and that is so so toxic. Anyway sorry about rambling. my point here is: if you need help, you should be taken seriously. No one deserves to suffer in silence
Or have their problems erased because that's all we know. I'm truly not trying to offend anyone here and I apologise if I have
ahh Jack, once again, its like you reached into my brain and heart and took all the thoughts and feelings and made them into sentences. You'll forever be my favourite creator and human
i went and watched the movie. first time in a few days i've been pulled into a very different mood. part of me wants to directly discuss what you shared about your experiences with the gp with a story of my own, but i don't think i want to write about that right now. but thank you for being open with us, jack. a lot of what you discussed in this video ties directly into all the spectator theory i learnt during film school and man, i live for that shit. but right now i want to talk about solaris herself.
when i first saw her, i thought that the design of her looked like an eye. i honestly hadn't put the biblical references together until you mentioned it but it makes sense. i spent more of the film wondering about her than i did a lot of the others. i picked up on Snow being the visitor pretty early on, and with the title of this video i knew that depression played a big part in the story. i found myself wondering more if solaris was trying to understand what grief was like. or just... what humans were like. the way she changed colour as rheya got worse, like she hadn't experienced pain like that from her side before.
i had far more coherent points in my head that i wish i'd written down sooner i just. solaris' transformation throughout the story was fascinating to me. it was like watching something distant try to understand the human condition.
Thank you for talking about mental health within movies! We need more honest depictions like this, and always more people talking about their experiences. I would highly recommend seeing the movie Band Aid. It's not a sci-fi, but the way it delves into mental health and communication is unlike any other movie I've seen. It's really well done, and I would love to see your response to it. I've put Solaris on my list of movies to watch. Although it's not a new movie, I appreciate your videos on movies that aren't new because I work in a library and although I shelve many movies, I'd never be able to watch them all, and I always appreciate your insights.
Such good writing on this one. Damn good work y'all.
a great, articulate video, you’re brilliant at expressing your passion and it makes all your videos like this very interesting to watch. it was also lovely to see such vulnerability- felt very poignant to me and i’m sure everyone else, so much appreciated!
I’ve never watched a video of yours before, nor have I watched a sci-fi film, but praise for this came up in my twitter feed so I clicked to watch. This was AMAZING. I’ve had depression for a few years and this summed it up so well- both the clips you chose and your personal experience. It means a lot. New sub :)
Thanks Jack.
Really enjoy all your chats with Dr. K too.
I have a weird anxiety thing where I don't enjoy watching movies (except documentairies) but I love listening to you talk about movies. It may sound silly, but I always felt kind of left out because movies are a big part of our culture and people talk about them a lot. Now I can join those conversations without my anxiety being in the way.
Honestly Jack, thank you for making this. This message needed to be heard. I hope you're well.
Wow this video took a turn, not that I'm complaining mind you, just didn't expect such a heavy dialogue after all of that giddy gushing about a wonderful film. Thank you for sharing with us and I'm glad you've been able to get some help. We're here for you too Jack and we want the best for you
Thank you so much for sharing this. Your discussion of mental health and representation was so respectfully done and wonderful, and it makes even more sense after you shared your own experiences. Just a huge, huge thank you for releasing such a powerful video which will undoubtedly help other people talk about their own experiences too.
okay normally i watch videos like this before i ever watch the movie (spoilers don’t bother me and i like to get hyped about things sometimes) despite warnings from creators to go into certain movies blind. but just a couple minutes into this video i KNEW i had to watch this movie before i watched this video. i don’t want to change the way this movie affects me, so i’ll be back maybe in a day or two when i’ve been able to watch the movie and i’m well excited
I hope you like it, Grace
Hey Jack - I hear you. I went through the same thing a few years back, and I was so lucky to find a therapist who just listened. It was a breath of much needed air to talk to someone who couldn't be shocked by anything I said, because it didn't have any consequence to her. Two years of that, with some meds at the start and a little bit of advice thrown in, and I am now doing so much better. Good luck with this journey, which will be hard, for sure, but I don't doubt that in the process you'll become stronger and wiser.
Also, thank you for your honesty in this vid - I'm sure there'll be many who are strengthened by it.
I cant even explain to you how much hearing you talk about films is helping me get through this lockdown AND my film assignments. Cheers Jack 💓
I’m sorry to hear you had that experience with a health professional. As a therapist, I learn so much from actually Hearing my clients’ and other peoples’ previous attempts to open up to other professionals and how I can do my best to support them and make that good first impression. Thank you for sharing Jack
I've missed your videos and I really loved seeing this movie review and you opening. So many of us really like you as a creator and wish you happiness along your mental health journey. We are all here supporting!
Been thinking about this for a while!!! Between Solaris, Ad Astra, First Man (although, wouldn’t really count it as a sci-fi) it’s super interesting how Hollywood portrays space as the epicentre for sad leads
Wow! Fascinating analysis Jack. Also thanks for your honesty
Thanks for sharing this, this was a really good video. I watched solaris when I was too young to get much out of it and now I'd watch it again.
Thank you for being vulnerable and open towards us, i know it isn't easy but it made me feel much less alone.
I had a rough night and I was watching this video at 2:05 even though slightly unrelated helped me realize something about my past so I thank you for just doing that for me
Thank you so much for opening up to us about your relationship with mental health. That takes a huge amount of bravery and I appreciate that you were willing to share your perspective to help other people and get conversations going. This definitely looks like a movie I'll have to check out.
The past couple of months I think I was doing fine. Like being happy and ok with my self. But this week out of nowhere I started feeling low. And when you started talking about depression it just hit me and I almost cried. I am not officially diagnost but in the past I was in really bad place but I think slowly I am doing better but still I have moments that really really hard. I have never seen the movie but thank you for doing that video it makes me feel kinda ok with myself and like I am not the only one who feels like that.
You're so incredibly brave to open up about your personal struggles and thank you for bringing these types of struggles up as they're not spoken about enough
Jesus, sorry I didn't mean to sound so patronising
The title perfectly represents my love for Dr Who and my crippling existentialism.
Just finished watching Solaris. To me this film was about the need of other people to make us happy. Or at least that’s what we THINK we need. The struggle of feeling content in ourselves without someone else’s love/presence is a tough thing to achieve. So tough that a false reality is more appeasing than an actual one. Very interesting movie that pulls off something rare in sci-fi. Genuine, relatable emotion.
thanks for opening up and writing such a beautiful video. appreciate it
Allthough it was in the titel your honest moment about depression caught me off guard... you are really strong to be able to share such a raw and vulnerable side of you. Thank you for that :)
TW/CW: depression and suicidal thoughts/techniques
I wasn’t expecting this video to affect me so deeply, but here we are. Labeling and naming depression is so scary and can be so helpful and it was something that really helped me years ago and still helps me now. It’s a real thing, there’s a word.
I also have a lot of thoughts about Solaris and the rest of this video. The first time I watched Solaris was in 2016 during my sophomore spring semester. It was in Religion and the Paranormal in the Contemporary American Imagination, which was the class that led me to major in religious studies. It was also during a really dark time in my life. School was hard, my personal relationships were not healthy, and my depression was hitting me hard. I don’t actually remember much about the movie. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t paying attention. I wasn’t paying attention to anything in general, but in class the day we watched Solaris, I wasn’t even trying; I was looking up information about how to commit suicide by slitting my wrists. Yeah. (Side note: I didn’t try then and have never tried.) The movie didn’t make sense to me, but I blamed that on the movie itself; no one else in my class seemed to understand it, so surely I hadn’t missed anything during my googling. We discussed the idea of Solaris being God, or a god, as well as a non-religious, paranormal force; what changes between those interpretations? What is the movie saying about God, belief, and the paranormal? All the things you’d expect from a class about representations and interpretations of religion(s) and the paranormal in American media. Not to say it wasn’t a good and interesting discussion and class, but nothing from that discussion stuck with me, whether because of the discussion itself or my personal state of mind.
So! Fast forward four years, I’ve graduated, I’m applying to grad school, I’ve made progress in handling my depression. And now I’m wandering around UA-cam because I don’t want to get up yet and here’s a video about sci-fi and depression from a guy I like and respect. So I click the video and he’s talking about this movie I vaguely remember and I don’t have work today, so why not watch it? And it turns out, it’s better than my first impression of a needlessly confusing, kind of boring movie. It’s actually really good, well made, well shot, well acted. And the story isn’t as confusing as I’d thought. If I’d paid attention the first time, I probably would’ve enjoyed it and found a lot to relate to. Depression and unhealthy relationships are the major themes and they feel like mine did. Solaris shows the difficulty in recognizing and escaping depressive episodes and unhealthy (or even downright hurtful and dangerous) relationships. Back in 2016, I was desperately clinging to a person and a relationship that wasn’t healthy and that was over, even if I wouldn’t admit it. I was insistent that if I could keep that person, everything would be okay, we’d be able to deal with our mental issues and we’d live happily ever after. It doesn’t work that way and even Kelvin’s “happy ending” isn’t that happy; he dies, crashing into Solaris.
I’m not gonna get into the religious side of the movie, it’s pretty clear and not the part that stuck out and resonated with me. It’s a worthwhile topic, but not one that I’m super interested in exploring right now.
I’m so glad I watched Solaris again and gave it a real chance, with no distractions. And this video summed up a lot of my feelings about it, as well as sci-fi, media, and mental illness in general.
Also, doctors not taking you seriously sucks and is one of the most invalidating experiences. Last week I spoke with a doctor about start hrt and she basically said that I hadn’t been exploring my gender long enough (for it to be legit?), especially without a psychiatric diagnosis of gender dysphoria. So, yeah, I won’t be seeing her again, but it still hurt and made me feel like my gender identity wasn’t real or valid (plus my parents feel basically the same about me taking hormones and think I should wait). I hope everyone is able to find professionals who take them seriously.
Someone's on a Soderberg/Clooney marathon!
But on a serious note, fuuuck. This video hit me in a way I didn't expect, especially the last three minutes or so. Thank you for making it, this is the right time.
Your depiction of the movie alongside the music truly made my heart race and jaw clench. This is a masterpiece in itself (if I may use those words).
But ultimately, the ending is what really matters. Thank you from someone who isn't depressed but very well may be.
I love this video. I love all your videos - they’re funny and insightful and really knowledgable but not pretentious and you work so hard on each one of them. Easily one of my favourite channels and favourite people on UA-cam.
Thank you :)
I hadn't seen it. I stopped the video right where you said go and watch it and come back after... Being the procrastinator I am, it only took me 18 days to watch Solaris, even if it's only 1h38min long. Anyway, it was a worth watch, especially for this video and all the thoughts I have now about it. Thank you Jack!
Hey, that was really good. I'm moved when I see people opening up and telling their truths with such courage. Mixed in with really interesting analysis of a film I loved and which made me think a lot. Brilliant. Thank you
I somehow accidentally clicked on this and just keep watching because i dont want to do my uni work (not that i dont find you videos interesting, I'm just not big into film) but when you started talking about your experience at the GP i just started crying because that is EXACTLY the same reason I finally let my friend convince me to go, and the GP pretty much said 'you're probably just tired because of iron deficiency, but let me know if you want meds'. All I wanted was to be heard. I wanted someone to tell me I wasnt just being dramatic, and that it was real
Thank you for your honesty. I enjoy every video you make.
Just came back to watch the rest after watching solaris last night. Great recommendation, psychological thrillers are my favourite, so to mix that with romance horror etc etc was a treat. I had the same need for confirmation of "something" still kind of do, but I feel like if, you feel like you need that, you're probably humble enough to trust your own opinion. Keep up the good work and thank you for being brave enough to be vulnerable, we all are.
11:10 I had a similar experience, though I went straight to a therapist and he diagnosed me with "mild" depression and through a couple therapy sessions I realized that because I was still somewhat eloquent and didn't cry and rationalized my feelings and smiled and made him laugh... he thought I was fine