Does Your Avoidant Ex Miss You?
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- Опубліковано 21 лип 2024
- Does your avoidant ex miss you? In this video, Coach Craig and Victoria will discuss the question that has probably been bothering you for a long time, "Does Your Avoidant Ex Really Miss You?" If you have been through a breakup with someone who has an avoidant attachment style, then this topic will be of great interest to you. Coach Craig and Victoria will explore the various signs that your ex may be showing if they are missing you or if they are just pretending to. We will also discuss some practical tips for dealing with an avoidant ex, and how you can move on with your life. If you are looking for answers and want to know the truth about your ex's feelings towards you, then this video is a must-watch. We will provide you with valuable insights and advice based on our research and experience. Don't waste any more time wondering if your avoidant ex really misses you. Let's unveil the truth together in this informative video. So, sit back, relax, and take notes as we uncover the truth about "Does Your Avoidant Ex Really Miss You?
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Why is it always the anxious attacher who has to pander to the avoidants needs, even during the breakup. Why are our needs never met ? Only theirs, its so frustrating !!!
Yep. It's the selfish attachment style. You're supposed to wait until they don't feel overwhelmed, which seems like all the time.
Well, it can be avoidant and anxious people. It just depends on the examples given and who did the dumping. Either way, both types of insecure attachment people need to work on themselves because their attachments will put strain on the relationship whether it's the dumper or dumpee
good news is you dont have to. these one sided relationships never work out in the long run. cut your losses and be proud you showed up
@@kigenm247You’re so right! Our instincts are telling us to move on, which is why we’re even watching these videos.
Man my wife and I split around January and the first few months were ROUGH. I realized I can’t control the uncontrollable, and decided to focus on myself. It’s the easiest it’s been so far for me. The sadness doesn’t hurt as much and as long. I’m finding myself again and I am enjoying my life. Everyone going through it I promise you it WILL get better. It was hard for me to believe that too back then. Remember you are loved.
Being with an Avoidant is not really worth the mental abuse unless they want to help themselves.
Its a selfish way of thinking but you will get hurt unless they recognize.
It sure is a mind F and roller coaster of emotions being on the receiving end. The pain is not as in my face, but it hasn’t reconciled even after a few years. This was the last time I can open my heart to another being. I just don’t have the energy to become as vulnerable as I did with my ex DA.
@@lafemmeprada8 I feel the same. There's no way I wanna go through all that again. I couldn't open my heart to someone in the future even if I wanted to. Too much effort, disappointment and pain.
@@Lanes8930 when you hang out with your platonic friend and shut any other avenues for new friendships you know that that is good enough until I die. It’s so true about what they say when you get older…less possibilities of romance and more health issues that require someone to pick you up from surgeries. 😢
Been there is sucks for my mind and heart yet I get blamed gaslight she played victim, its all my fault outbursts finger pointing manipulated. Emotionally neglected so so TOXIC. 😢
Mine came back out of nowhere last year. Things were great for 3 months and then she left again completely out of nowhere. It’s like an on/off switch for them.
That must have been so frustrating. I wish people would realise life is short and to stop wasting others time.
I’m starting to think the breakup was for the better. My avoidant ex broke up with me 3 months ago over something similar - I wanted more commitment than he was able to give. I think about and miss him everyday, and truly hoped we could repair things, but maybe I do deserve or need more.
I am thankful that this breakup taught me that I am naturally more anxious as I can now work to improve myself in being more secure. But him… I doubt he will change anytime soon. How could he? It seems very rare for an avoidant to take the time to be introspective enough to work on their attachment when it’s so much easier for them to run away.
Hey XD, just wanted to say I'm in the same spot across the same time frame. I wanted us to start planning for the future, but that was too much commitment. We agreed to end it together, but my heart is broken 😔 I think avoidants only start to realise this after many many years of the same pattern of behaviour. My ex is 40
“It seems very rare for an avoidant to take the time to work on their attachment issues when it’s so much easier for them to run away.” 💯
@emmaa4595 wow! I am going through the same thing. My ex is 40 we have been dating for three years. I brought up some frustrations in the relationship and mainly complained about wanting to be closer. He ghosted me. I made all the mistakes until I found this channel. It's been over a month since I have heard from him. I am going to focus on my anxious attachment so I can recover from thus situation.
Its heart breaking Journey with an avoidant partner 💔 especially if you have an anxious attachment. They reach out pull back ...and always want to suggest friendships after a break up Patience is key but its a hard road .
My avoidant told me when she's not talking to me, she's not mad and doesn't miss me, she's just indifferent. In other words, she just doesn't care, while I'm bummed out. After several weeks or months she'll start to miss me and reach out. Rinse and repeat. I still see her now and then but now I'm pretty much indifferent, I can take or leave it.
And do you think that is a healthy way to view a Relationship?
Please do yourself a favor, be strong and if you are not happy just end things.
You have all the answers to move on and be happy. 💪
@@MortalisPT yeah it's more of a casual friendship at this point.
I got the whole indifferent thing and “disinterested.” I am only 3 weeks and in the worst pain ever.
Don’t worry about what they say my man.
Sometimes it’s just to get a rise out of you to see if you react.
You’re absolutely right about the indifference though.
Hope it all works out for you.
Stay blessed.
That sounds like BPD.
my ex did all the stuff mentioned in the video too. But I think he is to afraid to reach out, because he is to afraid that I would reject him. (He has a history with fear of recejection)
My avoidant ex is so confusing!We’ve been in no contact except for practical stuff regarding bills etc. He’s being kind of passive agressive in his approach - very eager to help with bills on his initiative, but very cold in his way of communicating it. It’s like we’re complete strangers (with some stored resentment) yet wanting to help financially, which he isn’t obligated too. What’s the coldness about, when all I’ve been is respectful of the breakup?
Ugh. I hope so. Anxious Avoidant scarred
Sounds very similar to what I’ve been going through with my ex!
While watching this video, I imagine myself explaining the avoidant attachment theory to the avoidant: "I now understand why you're an avoidant...because you were neglected by your parents during your childhood..." 😂 ✌️ Peace. Just imagining a funny scene in my creative mind because my connection style is anxious. I swear, I do understand what coach is saying and it is very helpful. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀
Seems my FA GF breaks up with me What seems like every other week or once a month. Often for petty, trivial nonsense.
She gives me the silent Treatment for days/weeks. It can last upwards of a month plus sometimes.
I honestly think it’s her fear of getting too close, it’s always after we get very close or something major is about to happen.
My avoidant Ex indirect direct approach is hilarious, I have done so much work on myself, I have never felt this confident & secure in myself, just as when I think he has ran out of things to contact me he comes up with another excuse to reach out. One message was even asking about my dads cat 😅
Everyone needs to get a cat.
Cats hold the key 🤣💛
@@Lanes8930 totally, I couldn't believe it 🤣🤣🤣🤣
They miss how you make them feel in the moment yeh miss you as a person caring loving loyal who can give n show healthy LOVE No
Thanks coach!
Craig I love you!! 😂❤ 9:34 the “ maybe he was just smoking so weed chillin out playin some video games “ Hahahah idk why that made me laugh! The way you said it was so casual hahahaha ur so funny ! You’re videos always help me out and make me laugh! ❤
Have questions about your situation? Book a coaching with me at AskCraig.net
Today is being a hard day on NC. Its cold and dark, Im feeling lonely because of the weather.
My case is similar with many on the site, we broke up 2 months ago and in the same day I started the work. I did the work on the past and got my other ex calling and crying over the phone because he missed me after 3 months. It took me around a year to make him understand that I was too happy to take him back 😂.
Today is being much more harder because although I feel safe and much more confident with my power. When we broke up I made a power movement that caused him to block me everywhere and since them he is acting as if I did much more harm than good for him, like if Im toxic. On reality I was scared and crying over being abandoned by my best friend who I also platonic loved for almost 3 months. I know that he also loved me deeply but it was also scared of the responsibilities of admiting that to himself. Friends never understood why he didnt take the move and why he didnt let me go when I was starting to get interested in other guys.
Im blocked, I wouldnt break no contact even if I wasnt, but Im sad. I know its works from experience on the past, this dont make me less sad.
@cantinhoda....It is so hard at times....hang in there🙏🙏🙏
Is an avoidant considered a narcissist? My ex was like an avoidant but was also verbally hurtful. Fed off my triggers... Like he enjoyed saying things to me that he knew would hurt me... Loved to mind f me. I don't get it... Loved ghosting me. Told me he loves who I am and loves being in my presence but he couldn't reciprocate his feelings. But then he told me he loved me numerous times... On off on off. Now we're no contact and I realize he is toxic. Trying to move on. Getting a bit easier. Lesson was a blessing...
My ex got engaged 4 months after dating a guy long distance, which was only 6 months after our breakup. Fairly certain she was avoidant based off of the descriptions.
Same thing happened to me. I was kept at arms length for 2 years. I set boundaries and asked for more commitment which escalated the push pull hot n cold.. I became so anxious! He moved on and moved in with her after only 5 months, posts her social media ect… he has never offered closure or an apology for how I was treated
Sorry to hear that. How come she broke up with you ( because she’s an avoidant) but had no hard time getting engaged to someone in such a short period of time ?
@@ChauniB I’m very sorry. I know my words don’t help because you very much want to hear it from them ….but it wasn’t you. I hope you know that. It’s a very painful experience and ya gotta know there was nothing you did.
Ive been in no contact for two months now. We were broken up a month before i moved out. I know she monkey branched to another person in less than a month. But she kept up a few pictures of us and ones of my kids. But deleted the most recent ones. Its weird to me. Very hard to understand an avoidant and someone with childhood trauma.
My FA ex said he doesn’t have the time that I require and couldn’t meet my needs. I felt like I was stressing myself and him out. During our breakup he told me he still loved me, I’m hoping he was being honest
Coach Craig,
Can you make a video on the topic of age difference in relationships?
Or how does age impacts their actions while being an avoidant.
We have. Search the channel
If is struggling with his issues,why he is going with one another woman 🤔😳?Very confusing 😳
Craig! Should I break NC if I found out my ex broke her ankle?
Exactly what my ex felt and said.... that he can't do much when i ask for better communication n time😓, and over the time idk how i become so anxious of all theses that i myself start feeling I'm too much dependent on his moods....but eventually before i could confess all this....he left me saying he can't match to my needs and leaving was his best solution he could think of💔😓.
Mine was a long distance relationship of 9 yrs😔
Did he ever reach out?
@@beryljulie7801 yes after 7 months, but to Just say sorry that he can't leave his job which gives him power n money and he can't miss it though he loves me(while being in a relationship with another girl from his job) , but he's sorry he can't be with me....!!!
A pathological lier and coward and the same avoidant behaviour...
He haven't changed a bit in all these months 💔💔😓
Recently broken up with person here... One of the main issues is that I have problems with communication. I clam up during important conversations and try to avoid speaking because I find it negative or maybe even hurtful to the other person, which pushed my girlfriend away because it's hard to intimate with a partner who can't communicate...
We got along really well and the relationship was a really amazing but my silence hurt her, and I've found that AVOIDING important conversations doesn't make them disappear.
I'm wondering how I can become a better communicator? I'm currently in no contact and heartbroken.....
By having awareness like you do now that's a huge stepping stone because avoidants have a hard time with introspective and will often rationalize their behaviors and blame their partners for their response to their behaviors lol so that's awesome therapy is another great start and also watching videos like this and just keep Learning about your attachment style I'm sure there are things your ex could work on too so don't be so hard on yourself give yourself grace and understanding and just keep seeking knowledge because awareness is a true gift that you should be very proud to have good luck buddy!
Will my avoidant ex come back after I said bad things to him and there were misunderstandings and I break no contact?
Hey coach do you record your Skype sessions to reference in future follow up calls?
Yes we keep notes
I don't think so. He broke up with me (2 months relationship) and he's back on dating apps, looking for greener grass. 3 months of NC, I know he's not coming back. I miss him but I will not reach out
did he come back
@@nothingwhats628 he didn't come back, disappeared 9 months ago, extremely avoidant. I moved on.
How can I get in contact with you
Hello,
I need advice. I’ve been no contact with my ex for 3 months right after he broke up with me. We had a really great relationship but I wasn’t the best at communication and he couldn‘t do it anymore. Now I found something in my home which I bought for him and we also thought was lost. I’m thinking of giving it back to him (putting it in his mailbox without a note or anything. Do you guys think that’s a good idea or is that breaking no contact? I hope that maybe this will get us talking again
What does your intuition say you're just returning an item back indirectly after 3 months I heard one of the coaches say you can kind of reach out at this point.but if you're not trying to get them back stay in mo contact. I'm currently in no contact almost 2 months my intuition tells me to leave him alone and I do have something that belongs to him I'm just moving on.
I agree with Shelia, if you want him back do NOT reach out. It's not worth a risk of breaking no contact. You will give him item back in the future, after he reaches out first
Wait for your or his birthday, he broke up so you need to give him space, just my 2 cents
Mine contacted me on my birthday after over a year
First
31 minutes in. You guys must still be sipping your coffee today 🤣
🏅 🏆
My Wife of 2 Years left me 3 months ago after meeting someone threw a Mutual Friend..A week after Meeting this Individual She Wanted a Separation and moved in with this Person.. 2 weeks later they moved 2 hours away with her new significant others Parents.. it seems this relationship is very Co Dependent.. She barely contacts me and doesn't have contact with our child or her other child who stays with her Mother.. When she talks to her Mother this Individual has to be right there.. Same with me..
Her Mother says it's like a few past relationships she had were the other individual was very controlling and right there on everything.. I can barely have a moment with my Wife and child..I've done partial no contact.. Obviously with a Child it's hard.. I just try and Voice what's going on and keep it short & sweet.. She doesn't seem Happy but we can't talk.. I'm getting to a point we're I'm getting to a good space..
And I'm really making good changes in things within.. Communicating skills & Emotionally.. Things I knew I needed to work on.. and things she has mentioned in the past.. I've mentioned that I'm working at some things.. She said I don't see it.. I said you can't if your not here or present when I use thse new skills I've learned day to day..
It's sad seeing her Stuck..
When she claimed she felt stuck with me.. Funny how time and distance changes things.
This story is exactly how my ex broke up with me 🥲😪