"Monkey News" - XFM Compilation

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 679

  • @anindyogoswami7577
    @anindyogoswami7577 11 років тому +379

    The only thing that's pulling me through my 20's life crisis.

  • @sjn6704
    @sjn6704 8 років тому +199

    Monkey news, Rockbusters, Educating Ricky, Knob news, Songs of Phrase, War do you think of that then, Do we need em?... how did this not win a Sony? In my opinion the best radio show ever 'created'

    • @giles4565
      @giles4565 8 років тому +37

      When they get foxy on to ask him why they didn't win and he says "It just wasn't funny" really winds me up. I know humour is subjective but this is possibly the funniest show ever aired on a radio anywhere.

    • @janpec10
      @janpec10 8 років тому +19

      It didnt win an award becouse the people who judge it have very "classic" and pretentious approach to what should be funny.

    • @HeatyFrog
      @HeatyFrog 7 років тому +2

      +98smithg2 That was just because they took the piss out of him all the time

    • @mistervanderveer
      @mistervanderveer 7 років тому +5

      Absolutely. It reached people all over the world, including the Netherlands (although we're literally neighbors, but still). There's even people from Finland and South Africa familiar with Karls antics. Mad innit!

    • @pinotgrigio4707
      @pinotgrigio4707 5 років тому +7

      @@giles4565 You do realise that wasn't real with 'Foxy' dont you!?? He was in on that 'interview' quite obviously.....

  • @JacobARexstraw
    @JacobARexstraw 8 років тому +300

    This is, without a shadow of a doubt, the greatest segment of a radio show, ever!

    • @sjn6704
      @sjn6704 8 років тому +14

      Jacob R add to that War Do You Think Of That Then and Do We Need 'Em and there's no argument

    • @jbri1
      @jbri1 4 роки тому +4

      @@sjn6704 well no. Its this and nothing else comes close.

    • @Tomversal
      @Tomversal 3 роки тому +1

      I preferred Educating Ricky but I think everything Karl brought to this was hilarious usually

    • @alanaswadkins7907
      @alanaswadkins7907 2 роки тому

      @@jbri1 uuuuuuuu

    • @alanaswadkins7907
      @alanaswadkins7907 2 роки тому

      @@sjn6704 uuuuuuuuuuuüuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

  • @TechnoBambino
    @TechnoBambino 10 років тому +169

    "You're gonna love this one, Steve"

    • @jd9171
      @jd9171 9 років тому +6

      TechnoBambino Monkey drove to spain on its own.....mad init?"

    • @ZuvioxArts
      @ZuvioxArts 9 років тому +16

      TechnoBambino "awhhhhh DON'T TALK SHIT KARLLLLL!!!!!"

  • @FrozenSurf
    @FrozenSurf 8 років тому +218

    He speaks, highly educated, photographer...

    • @connormitchell6446
      @connormitchell6446 3 роки тому +2

      As I read this comment he said it😂

    • @hpebackwards
      @hpebackwards 3 роки тому +3

      right we'll make im a colonel.

    • @akbaraziz5914
      @akbaraziz5914 6 місяців тому +2

      Apparently he's holder of PhD of Physics

    • @Aza13
      @Aza13 4 місяці тому +1

      This one always gets me 🤣🤣

    • @johngilmore697
      @johngilmore697 3 місяці тому +1

      I was just wondering, will there ever be a boy born who can swim faster than a shark?

  • @Curthe93
    @Curthe93 11 років тому +124

    "Something's said."
    My favorite line from Karl.

    • @29memyselfandi
      @29memyselfandi 3 роки тому +8

      Yep, an under appreciated Karl gem.

    • @minniedriver6871
      @minniedriver6871 3 роки тому +1

      I lose it every time

    • @arturobandini4078
      @arturobandini4078 2 роки тому +8

      @@minniedriver6871 it's a good line but "And someone kept winning 'em" kills me even more.

    • @jbri1
      @jbri1 4 місяці тому

      ​@@arturobandini4078😂

    • @frankhaula
      @frankhaula 2 місяці тому

      Haha! What else did you like?

  • @Technicolor909
    @Technicolor909 10 років тому +34

    DON'T TALK SHIT. YOU'RE NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN. Cut to next episode of monkey news.

    • @tmic4043
      @tmic4043 10 років тому +2

      Ricky is definitely Tull of empty threats haha

  • @danedge4346
    @danedge4346 2 роки тому +87

    "So the monkey drove to Spain"
    "It was an automatic"
    That had me in stitches 😂🤣

  • @SpecificallyDanielSwan
    @SpecificallyDanielSwan 8 років тому +129

    In life, simply because of this show, when a friend's annoying me or talking shite, I'll still say 'play a record'.

    • @treehousekohtao
      @treehousekohtao 4 роки тому +5

      Play 2 records!

    • @TheDanSwan1
      @TheDanSwan1 2 роки тому +7

      Which part of the world are you in? Never met another Daniel Swan

    • @WanderingChin
      @WanderingChin Рік тому +3

      Educating Ricky: 'There's More Than Swan Of Them'

  • @Dilkingt0nne
    @Dilkingt0nne 3 роки тому +32

    Karl actually chuckling a bit is the most endearing thing ever for some reason, probably cus it’s so rare

  • @C-R-l-M-S-O-N
    @C-R-l-M-S-O-N 9 років тому +63

    1:01:34 he's walking upright, he's havin a tea in the morning... finishing off the day with brandy. gets a bit out of hand, He only tries it on with the zookeeper's wife!

  • @MeAuntieNora
    @MeAuntieNora 9 років тому +189

    Weird innit?

    • @gibbs7444
      @gibbs7444 9 років тому +1

      Lol

    • @davidbilla5630
      @davidbilla5630 9 років тому +1

      Me Auntie Nora I love ur name dude.. lol

    • @taylorcj565
      @taylorcj565 9 років тому +2

      +David Billa she had wind for 5 minutes, innit?

    • @Sheriff_GrimLaw
      @Sheriff_GrimLaw 9 років тому +7

      +Taylor Jamieson ...and a fanny like a ripped tennis ball. x

    • @kylsters
      @kylsters 8 років тому +1

      +BigJamook and tits like old half deflated balloons

  • @Michele1ELL
    @Michele1ELL 9 років тому +171

    Ricky's anger is my favorite

    •  7 років тому

      Michele Neri Ian brown !!!

    •  7 років тому

      Michele Neri your well pretty

    • @hittman1412
      @hittman1412 5 років тому

      "what that's the end of it?!?"

    • @jacoblee-hart9647
      @jacoblee-hart9647 3 роки тому +3

      'THEY DID NOT SEND A MONKEY DIRECTOR!'

    • @litillmeow
      @litillmeow Рік тому

      DONT. TALK. SHITE.

  • @borednow5838
    @borednow5838 3 роки тому +10

    "20 offers of marriage, does that bother you Steve?!

  • @grease_monkey6078
    @grease_monkey6078 3 роки тому +14

    I love the one about the monkey who posed as the lab assistant, what makes even more funny is that Ricky made up Kirsty as her name and Karl uses Kirsty in the story.

  • @bobbyweezer
    @bobbyweezer 9 років тому +93

    ...I can't take this any more, Steve... I'm gonna be sick.

  • @michaeltyrrell1305
    @michaeltyrrell1305 10 років тому +297

    "Mentalists who write websites about themselves all day". Now Ricky has a daily blog and is on twitter 24/7. Funny how times change

    • @Owen_005
      @Owen_005 2 роки тому +26

      Hasn’t changed even 8 years later

    • @maxpaynless7505
      @maxpaynless7505 2 роки тому +12

      @@Owen_005 Honestly thought this comment was from the last couple of years, seems he's been at it for ages.

    • @Crashoverride774
      @Crashoverride774 Рік тому +11

      There's a slight difference between Ricky Gervais, a household name, bafta winning, couple of globes and acting in some tv and movies who has millions of fans and a mentalist

    • @georgie535
      @georgie535 Рік тому +3

      @@Crashoverride774not for Michael over here apparently.

    • @phlog_dog7336
      @phlog_dog7336 11 місяців тому

      ​@@Crashoverride774hi Ricky

  • @ollieoleary
    @ollieoleary 5 років тому +41

    1:30:30 I will never tire of Steve and Ricky's uproarious reaction!

    • @westmcgee9320
      @westmcgee9320 4 роки тому +5

      Well done. This slayed me straight away.

  • @PM-lg5ow
    @PM-lg5ow 6 років тому +30

    1:31:15. Karl says "I think it started off quite simple" when asked about how a chimp-owned wellness center came about. lol

  • @winecheese2185
    @winecheese2185 5 років тому +11

    The way Steve says 'Rick, I dont know who to believe.' cracks me up.

  • @AgentSmith911
    @AgentSmith911 3 роки тому +13

    The fact that most of these monkey news stories actually exists, makes it all that more funny.

  • @jakejones9097
    @jakejones9097 9 років тому +33

    someone kept winning em

  • @janelane187
    @janelane187 9 років тому +141

    Somethings said...

    • @Michele1ELL
      @Michele1ELL 9 років тому +18

      ricky and Steve's reaction to that is one of my favorite parts

    • @Leehow80
      @Leehow80 9 років тому +6

      Best bit!!

    • @mistervanderveer
      @mistervanderveer 7 років тому +2

      Even Karl knew that one was going to be hard to sell..

    • @fraserdeavoll5717
      @fraserdeavoll5717 7 років тому +1

      Rachel Martin what time was that?

    • @hittman1412
      @hittman1412 5 років тому +2

      @@fraserdeavoll5717 ua-cam.com/video/neqojZk3HS4/v-deo.html

  • @saltaenutrof
    @saltaenutrof 9 років тому +60

    Karl: "Anyways... It turns out, he was a chimp"
    Ricky: "You're Joking!"
    Ricky: "Well... Christ all ffffff mighty! There you go."

    • @taylorcj565
      @taylorcj565 9 років тому +3

      +Fortune Rioba this TRICYCLE comes whizzing past.......

    • @saltaenutrof
      @saltaenutrof 9 років тому +4

      +Taylor Jamieson 1:38:00 Haha! loved that one.
      "There is always one element you can never anticipate" - Stephen

    • @taylorcj565
      @taylorcj565 9 років тому +6

      +Fortune Rioba I love Ricky's voice. " Couldn't quite see the cyclist?"

  • @LootFreak
    @LootFreak 3 роки тому +6

    Man, could you imagine living in englad driving home from school in the back of the car hearing these guys on the radio every afternoon.
    God it would have been amazing.

  • @xxIXLaurenXIxx
    @xxIXLaurenXIxx 9 років тому +10

    This has me in stitches, so funny the way Steve has to calm Ricky down when he loses it, Karl is one of the funniest people in the public eye today!!

  • @mAcroFaze
    @mAcroFaze 9 років тому +33

    "THAT'S THE END OF THE FFF--STORY!!"

  • @UnbelievablyGauche
    @UnbelievablyGauche 12 років тому +15

    i love when karl says "the magician opens the boot and asks the monkey how it is...and the monkeys yeah i'm sound yeah"...and then later describes the monkey as "givin' it some"

  • @BiffyFighters
    @BiffyFighters 11 років тому +52

    The bit from around 1:52:00 "they said...let's do some business with the bananas". Was listening on the bus and thought i was going to have a hernia trying not to laugh.

    • @BiffyFighters
      @BiffyFighters 6 років тому +19

      4 years since I posted this. Still coming back to this glorious story

    • @BiffyFighters
      @BiffyFighters 6 років тому +8

      "FROM THE ROUGH BIT!!"

    • @Kduck2145
      @Kduck2145 6 років тому +1

      Matthew King still makes me laugh uncontrollably lol

    • @lightrays3595
      @lightrays3595 4 роки тому

      Well there's no point in getting into a fight with them cause they're harder than we are. So let's do...

  • @clavdig
    @clavdig 9 років тому +30

    his little legs

  • @leftsidedrive_
    @leftsidedrive_ 9 років тому +19

    2:01:30 Not the first monkey news that comes to mind but the delivery is easily a 10/10. Classic Karl

    • @anonymouse4138
      @anonymouse4138 Рік тому +1

      Lmao... this is my favorite one. The monkey bassist

  • @Sheriff_GrimLaw
    @Sheriff_GrimLaw 9 років тому +9

    "Right, you'll like this one..."
    Just Karl's 'intro' saying these words and I laugh now. x

  • @wh0586
    @wh0586 11 років тому +5

    My sides! I have heard most of these before but they never get old. Ricky gets so pissed off LMAO

  • @MrBuch169169
    @MrBuch169169 11 років тому +15

    Oh God, the 'PhD in physics' made me laugh so hard I actually nearly fainted. Well done Karl!

  • @properdiglett
    @properdiglett 7 років тому +11

    1:14:15 might be my all time favourite moment from these shows
    "Did he go off an' ave a holiday, did he dadada...?"

  • @borednow5838
    @borednow5838 7 років тому +2

    The Victorian ape woman is one of my all time favourites! Ricky's little add-ons are priceless.

  • @ohoto3896
    @ohoto3896 2 роки тому +5

    "Just a scruffy bloke who hasn't had a shave in a while..."
    He rarely ever laughs when he knows this is twaddle, which is brilliant.

  •  7 років тому +8

    I've must of listened to this 20+ times & i still piss up laughing every time
    !!!

  • @86sVideoDump
    @86sVideoDump 3 роки тому +3

    I've listened to this 4 times in the last week and it's still as funny as it was the first time

  • @tonyoliver2167
    @tonyoliver2167 4 роки тому +4

    Time and time again I see comments about people being reinvigorated by these three and their sense of humour. It's literally gold; THEY are literally GOLD

  • @markgates9712
    @markgates9712 11 років тому +37

    love all of karl and rickys work, never disappoints me! used to watch these videos going to sleep, one of only things that let me drop off haha. very difficult to sleep as a schizophrenic this usually does the job though, got me and a lot of people through hard times judging by comments ect. thanks for the upload!

    • @TheKesarda
      @TheKesarda 10 років тому +4

      same helps me sleep too

    • @MrNoobmove
      @MrNoobmove 10 років тому +9

      Barney Lawson i thought i was the only one that listened to this before sleeping hahaha, nice to hear other people do the same.

    • @markgates9712
      @markgates9712 10 років тому +1

      thank you for all the thumbs up :)

    • @TheAmericanDane
      @TheAmericanDane 5 років тому +2

      I do the same, always listen while drifting off to sleep👍🏼

    • @connor9568
      @connor9568 4 роки тому +1

      Karl, Ricky & Steve

  • @Michele1ELL
    @Michele1ELL 9 років тому +49

    "17th century?"

  • @jeremyc9593
    @jeremyc9593 6 років тому +5

    1:19:56 "THAT'S THE END OF MONKEY NEWS! THAT'S THE END OF MONKEY NEWS!"
    My favorite of all the angry reactions from Gervais.

  • @amitbenhur3722
    @amitbenhur3722 5 років тому +6

    My six favourite words:
    It's that time again innit?
    Jingle.

  • @AI-tc8fv
    @AI-tc8fv 5 років тому +4

    I swear I have to stop myself from laughing like an idiot when I'm out and about and this starts replaying in my head

  • @Deathball9999
    @Deathball9999 4 роки тому +9

    The amount of embellishment in these is incredible. It reminds me of writing excercises were you start with a line (or headline) and completely make up a story built around it. I'd be interested to see the actual stories and if they are remotely similar.

  • @seshadrianantharaman7676
    @seshadrianantharaman7676 5 років тому +5

    "fella comes in" and "the monkey starts backin 'out" always get me... someone has to deconstruct these jokes for future generations...

  • @Spudgun81
    @Spudgun81 6 років тому +2

    Thanks for uploading these. I listened to most of the episodes when they were broadcast on Xfm and it's great to hear them again albeit without the music.

  • @davephilpotphilpot9867
    @davephilpotphilpot9867 8 років тому +1

    I'm sorry but this by far the funniest thing to have graced the radio or possibly an media ever

  • @TheAlexagius
    @TheAlexagius 3 роки тому +3

    SO much better than what made it into the cartoon

  • @1984ekul
    @1984ekul 11 років тому +6

    I've got a recording of Gervais screaming "ooh, chimpanzee that, he's gone and written it down again - CUNT!" - a jingle for Karl's diary on the podcasts.
    I get odd looks when it goes off.

  • @towerofpeace
    @towerofpeace 3 місяці тому +2

    Eyes that pop out of their head.... Steve

  • @adampowers6423
    @adampowers6423 4 роки тому +5

    I love how he always names the monkeys, even though it’s never relevant

  • @basharun
    @basharun 10 років тому +34

    "Something's said."
    HAAAHAAAHAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

  • @simonrider6928
    @simonrider6928 8 років тому +6

    'This happened on Scum' is probably the funniest thing Karl's ever said. Pure Genius.

  • @upthereds9734
    @upthereds9734 4 роки тому +4

    At what point on the video does Ricky say ‘his little legs’ and Karl laughs 😂😂😂 best bit I can’t find it man!

  • @technicolorgazette
    @technicolorgazette 10 років тому +12

    Best entertainment on You Tube ever.

    • @Crunch_Buttsteak
      @Crunch_Buttsteak 3 роки тому

      Seriously is. People don't know what joy they're missing.

  • @ValkyrieDaisy95
    @ValkyrieDaisy95 9 років тому +30

    God the Victorian Ape Woman one was epic XD!!
    Loved 1:40:03! "Ooooohh yeaah...Couldn't quite see THE CYCLIST!" lol XD That was classic Ricky!

    • @Crunch_Buttsteak
      @Crunch_Buttsteak 3 роки тому

      Ricky was loving Karl's nonsense during that one haha. Definitely one of my favorites

  • @theryanbard
    @theryanbard 9 років тому +6

    Lol 13:54 "That's the thing about this feature, its mental."
    Karl sums it all up.

  • @lewismcmurray7089
    @lewismcmurray7089 7 років тому +3

    "The bit that I haven't told you about....it's actually run by a couple o' chimps."

  • @cytrix8317
    @cytrix8317 4 роки тому +2

    What did we ever do to deserve such golden content

  • @ashley102390
    @ashley102390 Рік тому +1

    “Was he holding his hand of cards with his feet”
    The greatest line ever 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @LifeOfRy
    @LifeOfRy 9 місяців тому +1

    40:27 hahahaha you can hear Karl smugly reaffirming the story when Steve reads the article about the "monkey working at a hairdresser's". Little flavourings of "there ya go", "mmm" and other gormless, inaudible Manc mutterings.

  • @stan2703
    @stan2703 6 років тому +4

    When he said "photographer" I almost burst lol!!

  • @PinPointHumour
    @PinPointHumour 11 років тому +2

    Could listen to these 3 all day, sometimes I do.

  • @DeadlyMustard
    @DeadlyMustard 7 років тому +2

    It's the mammal, sort of, with the pointiest eyes. Eyes that pop out of their head... steve...

  • @superhamzah85
    @superhamzah85 11 років тому +6

    1:54:21
    "Make the growture...er....make the feature grow...."
    He combined the two words by mistake, in the reverse order. A little insight into the mind of KP. No more...it's too baffling.

  • @pobber1
    @pobber1 3 роки тому +2

    From a rough bit of the island 🤣

  • @davidbilla5630
    @davidbilla5630 9 років тому +6

    These three make my life complete every day :)

  • @sandwichbreath0
    @sandwichbreath0 9 років тому +9

    So they said "Right, we'll make him a Colonel.." XD

  • @iPerryL
    @iPerryL 7 років тому +1

    YOU'RE JOKING!!! UNBELIEVABLE IT WAS THE CHIMP ALL ALONG
    "we never do this again"
    with a insane laugh 1:41:30

  • @iPerryL
    @iPerryL 4 роки тому +5

    hes only 3 foot, but the trophy is 9 foot in the air... XD

  • @jolesco
    @jolesco 8 років тому +2

    "I was worried we wouldn't have the old magic in 2004, but we're still talking shit"

  • @lukemufc7
    @lukemufc7 4 роки тому +2

    I can’t believe this content is free

    • @georgeohunt2263
      @georgeohunt2263 8 місяців тому

      I'd pay more to listen to this than I would for Netflix by an absolute mile

  • @OneManArmy578
    @OneManArmy578 11 років тому +1

    This is clearly the best video on the internet today

  • @jaycepriteau7477
    @jaycepriteau7477 10 років тому +12

    "You are an idiot" hahaha this show's so funny....omg...funniest thing ever. "I think you might be borderline retarded" hahaha Im dying. Karl's a great bloke he's just naive but the idea that Ricky, while getting really frustrated just lets this out....gold.

  • @shrimpanzee001
    @shrimpanzee001 11 років тому +9

    "Sorry, is that the news?"
    "Well how much do you want?!"

  • @loetzcollector466
    @loetzcollector466 Рік тому +2

    "Mentalists who do websites about themselves every day"
    2023: 👀

  • @DizKord1600
    @DizKord1600 7 років тому +2

    "Now, you might think *well that's pretty normal* ... the bit I haven't told you about, is, it's actually run by a couple of chimps."

  • @TheAmericanDane
    @TheAmericanDane 5 років тому

    Listen this or twaddle compilation when I put my head down on my pillow at night! Drift off to sleep smiling!

  • @arisesirgareth
    @arisesirgareth 12 років тому +1

    Supposed to be doing housework, two hours later it still needs to be done. Two hours well spent.

  • @Jideaohn
    @Jideaohn 8 місяців тому +2

    I’ve listen to a lot of TRGS, and I’ve NEVER heard Karl laugh so much. Somewhere around 1:07:00

    • @johngilmore697
      @johngilmore697 4 місяці тому

      That was Roxanne by The Police or, as they're now known, Sting. A song there about a prostitute. Doesn't give her surname, must give her a call, though the effects of 23 years on the game would not render her pleasurable to mine eye

  • @Coleman24
    @Coleman24 2 місяці тому

    “Well the bit I haven’t told you about…. It’s actually run by a couple of chimps” 😂😂😂

  • @241N786
    @241N786 9 років тому +13

    "lets do business with bananas" ded.

  • @12Rob211
    @12Rob211 7 років тому

    Still need to listen to this once a month absolute gold!

  • @antihero1484
    @antihero1484 3 роки тому +1

    I feel like Ricky Gervais, absolutely doesn't think MKULTRA and Cointelpro ever existed.

  • @rjellcome
    @rjellcome 9 років тому +61

    You alright Kirsty?

    • @Goochbot
      @Goochbot 9 років тому +10

      +rjellcome DON'T. TALK. SHIT!!!

    • @rjellcome
      @rjellcome 9 років тому +12

      +Graham Gordon You're gonna love this one, Steve

    • @JasonReaganjpr
      @JasonReaganjpr 8 років тому +4

      A bit of lippy

    • @Crunch_Buttsteak
      @Crunch_Buttsteak 3 роки тому

      She wasn't a looker anyways...

  • @jim191185
    @jim191185 11 років тому +3

    every time karl says "right", i have a drink

  • @ranajeetruud
    @ranajeetruud 9 років тому +15

    "Someone kept winning them"

  • @jakejones9097
    @jakejones9097 9 років тому +8

    The bike race. One is the best hahahahahahahahah

  • @borednow5838
    @borednow5838 7 років тому +3

    "He had a roof over his little head" Its how he tells em!

  • @richardthelionheart8656
    @richardthelionheart8656 10 років тому +4

    Karl was definitely winding Ricky up with that follow-up to the bank robbery one.

    • @jd9171
      @jd9171 9 років тому +1

      Richard The Lionheart and the driving to spain one!

  • @jamesofab
    @jamesofab 12 років тому +4

    "He's called Coco, what I've read about him is - he speaks, highly educated....photographer" Cracks me up every time 33:00

  • @captainhindsight3579
    @captainhindsight3579 10 років тому +8

    A'right. Turns out, it's a little woman fella. A'right,

  • @mikedean682
    @mikedean682 2 роки тому +1

    i don't know what makes me laugh more - Karl believing this stuff or Ricky getting angry about the fact he does

  • @christopher19894
    @christopher19894 2 роки тому

    I've been listening to this trio for over a decade, but I still can't get over how bizarre of a feature Monkey News is.

  • @dude3825
    @dude3825 4 роки тому +3

    Gold. Pure gold.

  • @gotheeeem4
    @gotheeeem4 4 роки тому +5

    12:56 The rare times Karl laughs at a joke

  • @SamuelBlack84
    @SamuelBlack84 Рік тому +1

    "There's this monkey, right?"

  • @michaelhylton8338
    @michaelhylton8338 4 роки тому +7

    Steve! Make him go away!!!