Should You Settle Down Or Stay Single In Your 20s? (BOYSCAST CLIPS)
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- Опубліковано 14 жов 2024
- Boyscast with Ryan Long Clips.
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From episode:
• #106 COLLEGE IS FOR GI...
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I’m 26 and my ex was great, meaningful relationship too but I was def in that spot were I couldn’t help but fantasize about being single. I managed to end it . It’s been a couple of months since but nowadays I have days were I think to myself she was perfect marriage material and others were I think I did the right thing. The self doubt never ends and it always feels like the grass is greener on the other side
Feel you bro I’m 23 in a great relationship… but the grass is always greener. I kinda wish I could just start this again when I’m 30 something. But it doesn’t work like that
wife material doesnt mean she lived up to it or that she was going to. realistically being wife material doesnt mean it was goin to end up being YOUR wife
@@theStepFamm thanks for that insight. I genuinely appreciate it
@@GoinCrazy25-8 yeah man haha . I’m not one to give advice but the best I ever heard was to trust my gut. You’ll be okay
I’m in this situation right now. No idea what to do lol
Life doesn't follow your rules. You could find a person who will enrich your life at any age, or you may never find yourself able to do that. Don't do what so many Western Women do, "casually date" for as long as you can till your hypothetical "settling down" partner will be ready and waiting for you.
Agreed,if you want a family and find a good woman then you had best lock her down while you can. I had a great woman in my early twenties. I split beacuse she wanted kids and I just wanted to party. I don't regret it because I have never wanted children but she was definitely the best woman I was ever with. I'm 48 now and I'll love her until the day I die.
@@mjwbulich why don't you want children?
@@mjwbulich you clearly get it. Good girls go off the market early.
@@WiseOwl_1408 and waiting until after women are able to easily have children to attempt to start a family seems like pretty stupid thing to do if thats something you want. 34 is a geriatric pregnancy no? it starts getting dangerous and difficult to conceive, but folks think that you should remain a child throughout your 20s and have no responsibilities because theres always time to meet that right person later
Good guest. He really knows how to reel in the conversation when it gets out there.
He's def their best guest...but most of their guests suck so I guess it's damning with faint praise.
He's got his own podcast called Modern Wisdom so it's not surprising he can reel in the conversation
I know and have met a lot of people who have lived wild Iives and traveled and partied and went on adventure and 9.9/10 they're never happy. They're always either chasing the next high or running from regrets or living in the past. Both men and women. A common theme among the older people I know who have lived that life style is many of them regret not settling down with the man or women who got away or not spending enough time with family, children or friends. They're usually very selfish and self centered people who never get out of their childish faze for fear of missing out.
I've never seen it this way. If you find someone you love, then settle down with her. If you don't love them, don't settle down. Don't think of it in terms of "value" or "opportunity cost." If you love them,, then you ought to settle down and start building your life together. Either way, don't try and force a square peg into a round hole.
I think its kinda important to think about though because not every relationship arrises organically, and its foolish to expect that it will. A lot of people have to go out with the intent of finding someone to be in a relationship with i.e. actively dating. It can be good advice to tell a young dude "hey dont focus on dating right now, you should focus more on building yourself so that you can get a better partner 5 years from now" but at the same time letting them know that if they get into something organically they shouldnt just abandon it purely because of the fact that they will likely provide more value to a relationship in the future.
The problem with ticking the boxes is that, even if you do sleep with that Brazilian beauty, she is still not the next Brazilian hottie you see and you will wonder what she would be like, too. Eventually all the categories essentially evolve (dissolve) into very specific particulars and you are left with your desires on an individual basis, which renders effective box ticking impossible due to sheer numbers.
Honestly, finding the right, high quality girl in your 20's is a much better approach to life. Life moves fast and is short, you don't realize that in your 20's. Find someone when you're in your late 20's imo.
Yeah. People think they have time. You need to meet the girl in your 20s so you can date and get married by 30 give or take. Then you can have kids around that time and still had your time doing the whole single thing in your early 20s. Girls waiting til their 30s to meet the guy are probably screwed if they want a family. Guys always have the back up plan of marrying a younger girl. I feel bad for modern women missing out on a lot of opportunities. The boys will be alright though.
@@brucechamberlin2545 Not good for society as a whole that everything in the world is positively reinforcing women aging into lonely old maids. And it severely limits and unbalances man/woman pairing. Take a look at China's lack of women.
Lol you say that but most girls are t ready for a serious relationship/building a family until they hit their late 20’s and feel the time crunch. I know a lot of guys trying to build a family out of highschool or college but could never keep a girl because she “wanted to experience her 20’s” then they come crawling back after getting ran through.
@@Tagerrun Its not that they "arent ready" for a serious relationship, its that theyre afraid of missing out on something. If shes afraid of missing out on meaningless hedonistic activities then chances are she wasnt really wife material to begin with
Yes I agree, actually you should get married even younger because your first marriage is probably not going to last but at least you'll get some kids out of it and then when you are in your early '40s your kids have left the house and are out on their own and you are still in the prime of your life and in your prime earning years. When you're in your 40s you can still pull chicks in their twenties but when you get into your '50s it changes real quick. I'll be 60 this year and I knew all this going into it. I was in a series of relationships with low value women in my twenties that I would not marry up. It was very frustrating in my late 30s watching it all slip away and knowing I probably wouldn't have a family when that was all I really wanted.
Gladly met my partner at 20, she was 19. 2022 will be six years! Some people still desire monogamy instead of the whole banging chicks lifestyle. It's pretty fun.
That's awesome man.
Met my wife at 22 she was 19. Way better as you enjoy her through the 20's into 30's. Your at the peak 20-30. So I enjoyed her and my peak.
I’m 33. Since about 21yo I’ve had a steeply declining interest in relationships and sex.
I just don’t care about any of it really.
I don’t watch porn. I JO maybe once every 1.5 months max.
I’ve had my testosterone levels tested by a licensed endocrinologist and I actually have very high levels.
I don’t know why things are the way they are.
You might be asexual.
Low estrogen levels can = low sex drive. A lot of bodybuilders use estrogen blockers and end up having zero sex drive. I'm the opposite of you dude, I'm 30 and can go multiple times a day.
@@LSH988 Normally, which is why I mentioned estrogen blockers. There are natural (and not so natural) reasons why even if someone has normal levels of testosterone they can have low estrogen. If the dude doesn't care about his sex drive then it really doesn't matter, but if it were me I'd definitely consider checking it out.
maybe ur the rare asexual? idk if thats a real thing tbf
i’m just not concerned about it anymore after i spoke with my uncle
he was a bachelor until his 50s, when he found a wonderful woman to marry. he never had kids, but has always had two dogs. he’s one of the most satisfied and happy people i know.
How old is his wife?
I left a good one when I was 23. With four others that were not great lol. Now 33. Next good one with the same outlook/mindset/attraction I'm ready to make a deal. This dating market is fucked.
I’ve certainly felt this. I’m 25 and just starting to find my stride. Part of me wants to just date one girl and settle into a relationship while other parts just want to travel the world and chase adventure. I’d say it’s far more likely that I’ll be choosing that 2nd option for the foreseeable future but that pull to look for the right women and settle into another type of life is always tempting. I know eventually I want to do this but it really is ticking off that bucket list of things that are far easier to tick off whilst single.
Well you literally have the time. Men have it a little easier in this department. I would say you have until 27 turning 28 no problem. Then after that it will get harder and even less romantic. Don't rob yourself and your future partner of young love by waiting too long. Plus don't settle for some whatever past her prime girl either because you waited too long. Whatever you do you already made up your mind. Go travel the world and find some strange while you still can.
i mean there are women who also like to travel...
depends what you want. If your planning long term and dont care about having kids then just dont marry or get anyone pregnant - divorce and/or child support are not fun and will limit your potential sadly.
Have a shed load of fun in your 20s, enjoy your friends while they're still interesting, just use that time to make memories, if you find someone who's right for you then plans will change regardless. If you dont meet that special one then rubber up and just have a laugh.
most important though is protect your money. being 20s and broke can be fun if you got good people, being broke and 30s can get really tough and hard to escape. Rent is a huge waste, get on the property ladder even if its a sh*t house in a sh*t area as soon as you can. Buy with friends or family if you have to. If I was renting my house itd be over twice the cost of my mortgage per month for instance - i spent so much on rent over the years its scary. thats the one thing with hind sight i'd tell a younger me. you'll get trapped in renting and burning cash if you don't force a way out, which i know isn't always possible.
Thats all because if you get to 30 with a house, a job, a car and no dependants as a guy *The Promised Land* you'll attract a lot of women that would otherwise be unattainable (if you have kids an ex and rent a shitty flat and ride the bus) that's just a fact. Its not for everyone, but i love the single life and pre covid i wouldnt have changed it for the world. it sucked through lockdown, and it might be nice when i get to 50 to find a hot younger wife to start a family with if not before, but for now life is pretty good for a single guy i'd say.
My kids were grown and out of the house by the time I turned 42. It’s wonderful. Who wants to watch energetic kids into their 50’s?
Yeah that's a valid point but living your best years with absolute freedom trumps that I think. To each their own though, glad to hear it worked out for you.
Suggestion: The Boys should not do coke before the show. They get too hyper and the guest can't ever finish a sentence.
I always thought it was adderall
i've noticed the sniffles and ryan's voice. Definitely a coke head
@@oyentemaniatico por que no dos?
not even the guest, they themselves cant finish a sentence
How about think about love instead of value
The longer you wait, the more the selection starts looking like the bargain bin at a thrift store.
Probably the best advice in the whole comment section.
For men or for women?
For men, that's BS. The older a man gets, the more he gets his life and priorities in orders, the more his confidence grows. Your value increases.
Opposite for women.
Over 60% of men 18-29 are single. But its like 30% for women. Why? Cause the younger women go for the older dudes who have their shit in order.
This. All this talk about market value and people forget there’s an actual market with limited supply. The good ones get scooped up fast.
I'd marry any girl that I can vibe with, problem is that she is really good at hide and seek.
There is no right age range to base off of, there’s no set rules. Work on yourself and be the best man you can be and push anything/anyone negative away from you. You cannot find the best woman for you if you’re not the best reflection of yourself. You can find her at 22 or 32. Sometimes it takes living life a little to become the best of yourself. I’m 24 y/o and getting better at making myself feel happy.
I think no matter what you do theres always gonna be stuff that you regret not doing and have a desire for that can never be fulfilled. Thats one of the main points in certain Eastern philosophy.
Clever. You know I only watch the short clips and you’re gradually making them longer so I start listening to full episodes. Well it’s probably working!
I'm the opposite I started with full episodes now I'm frantically looking for clips to fall asleep to.
They’re only about an hour bud. Just watch em.
2:00 the issue is, most 22 year old women want to date other 22 men. I keep seeing this myth of "once you're older and have more money, you're a higher value male". Unless you're uber rich, as in millions, 95% of 22 year old's would rather date someone their own age. When I was 19, I had the choice of dating my then boyfriend (now husband) who was as broke as I was, or dating much older men that were pretty wealthy. Glad I picked the latter, because the few young women I know who ended up the second route are miserable now. Money can't replace love, maybe just supplement it a bit.
My wife is 7 years younger than me and I'm 33. We got married at the begining of covid. So idk, different strokes? None of its science.
The average age difference in marriages is 3 years with the man being the older one. Your experience is not the typical one.
@@Commander034 google says it's 2. Which really isn't all that big of a difference and relatively in the same 'age range'. A 20 year old isn't going to think a 22 year old isn't in the same 'age range' as them. My comment more so meant men who are MUCH older, as in 5 to 10+ years older. My experience is the typical one, at least based on the data :)
@@Commander034 also, if my experience isn't the typical one, why are huge age gaps still considered taboo and strange? If such a thing were typical, people wouldn't see a forty year old walking down the street with a twenty year old as strange?
I agree with what you said, but 22 is young. You start saying 27, 28, 29 and the guy is late 30s or something. Then totally different and a lot of women would be okay with that especially when security starts being more important in their lives.
Could I propose a counter argument. Once a successful man leaves university and gets a career (job with fast track training in management development) with future prospects. He should start a family ASAP (26-28) He should target first or maybe second year university girls (21-22) who are 'wall-flowers'(i.e. hidden beautify therefore not pretty) He should offer a bargain or kids now for education/career later to his partner say 30's. If both parties are rationale it makes sense?
A downside to waiting until your 30s is that you may of slept with a lot of women.. Which can turn some women off (Its not exactly great to have lies in your relationship from the get go), and it can also make you want to continue that trend.. Perfect girls may arrive at that age and you're still in that mindframe of sleeping around. So you actually miss the good opportunities. Both men and women do this.
Couldn’t have said it better.
That’s another one too unless ur not attractive, and not getting some Punani. Women who sleep around it’s more worse for them, but yeah I wouldn’t want to have a bodycount of 30 by the time I’m 30.
Plus that’s pretty bad advice saying guys should wait till they’re 28-30 to settle down. Getting a gf is hard tho in modern day as women are narcs with to high of standards
@@moonknight4053 30 isn't all that high if you think about it. Say if you start at 16, that's almost just 2 new people a year.
@@traviscue2099 Maybe if ur a man, for a women that’s like…. Ah shit u can’t coke bk from that. I’m a guy, and I couldn’t live with 30 bodies at age 30. I’d feel like a whore at that point, I know bodycount is different for men tho
@@moonknight4053 who do you think men are sleeping with? If their body count rises, so does a womens. Like 2 a year is barely dating imo. Nor is sex a bad thing, gotta enjoy different people in a positive way
I think one of the worst comfort blankets to have is replacing something with women or men, as for one that can be very expensive.
"Horses for courses".. That's a new one lol
You need to water that plant behind your guest!!
Depends if you're successful or not early.
I got married a couple years before turning 30 and my wife and I have almost 15 years together. At first I thought we got a late start creating a family. Now I realize it was the right time because we both got to enjoy most of our 20’s with minimal regrets. We also got to make the decision to settle down together instead of one demanding the other grow up.
Yeah in this modern society it's the only way to do it and be sane and cover all your bases. Younger is still better but much harder to pull off, but this new mentality of waiting until your 30s to even start dating the person you want is retarded and basically destined for failure. Statistically it will start adding up these next generations and we are going to see a lot of broken hearts especially from women. I think everyone has the right to enjoy there younger years but if women want a family they can't wait so long and men always have the marry a younger woman card. I really think what you described is a perfect middle ground I wish a lot more people would prescribe to.
depends
if you have your shit together as a man, and you're in your 20's, then great. do it. if not, no shame, keep bettering yourself
there's certainly no rush. actually, I know guys who are like 27/28/29 who have a couple kids already , but I think they kinda missed out tbh . If they worked on themselves more, probably could have gotten a hotter girl lmao. Being confident and single, as a man, is 100% better than settling with some girl and having kids in your 20s
I’m married at 28 but we won’t have kids until 31-32 due to school/work/etc. I wish I could’ve been ready to have kids in my late 20s.
Same here I would've had more energy
Ryan, that's why you have children with the woman you truly love but don't marry. After that, have an indefinite off-and-on relationship, which allows you all the sexual freedom you want. It's known the Ghetto Principle. And it's been practiced in an unspoken manner in the lower socioeconomic class community.
Hookup culture is nearly all negative. The ONLY positive is temporary sexual release, but if it’s not with someone you love then it’s a negative also.
Love doesn't last as long as you want it to so I suggest wait till you're like 40 or so before you get married that way by the time the love wears off your dead
This seems like decent enough advice.
Idk man, I think that's way too late. I got married at 32 and my wife was 28. We both got to enjoy our 20's and we got married with a good amount of youth left. I think meeting someone in your late 30's, early 40's when one or both of you may have kids from prior relationships, you're out of your prime and you don't share that "growing old" dynamic the same way cuz you're already in the beginning stages of being old is not at all ideal. Plus, if you want kids and your chick is 40, there's a high likelihood that she won't be able to have them and if she is able, you'll almost be able to collect social security by the time the kid is 20.
Pretty poor advice if you ask many people.
Lol I'm 31, risked it all in my 20's now I have no money and no status; goodbye chance at happiness!
Yup, choose your regrets when you can
Feel really bad for the snake plant in their studio
Man this was pretty sick.
Ryan's swinging in this one
Or we don't take advice from strangers on the internet
Stay single until you're 40...seriously guys.
DAS BOOT! IT'S DAS BOOT!
my advice to you is
wait until mid 30’s to marry
when you’ll have your choice formerly unavailable women who will be very eager to settle down
Oh yeah, gift your children with a higher risk of autism and birth deformities. Great idea!
@@MK_ULTRA420 only a fool argues with a clown
@@LEARSIKCIGAM I'm sorry you're mentally deficient. Must be tough.
Formerly unavailable women? You mean waiting for them to get ran through? Of course you’ll have your pick of those, nobody else wants them long term. I’m going for younger women ALWAYS. No ran throughs.
Good topic
This guy gets it.
20 min clip...
I think every guy needs to have a body count higher than 2 lol, it influences our leverage in a relationship
Oh my gosh hes stil here! 🤣🤣🤣 As much as its grim dealing with his face and waffle Im not going to unsubscribe -but I can see why people might want to now! LMAO
Oh my godd soOoOOooO hilarious 🤣🤣🤣
Men should suppress their base desires so marriage is very meaningful if women become like candy or meat then marriage is devalued.
You clearly have no clue how men think.
@@FIatts exactly lol.
Out of his leave because his in a low level league. Give him several year and he will be upbeat in that league.
First
not if i have anything to say about it
Fsake will he not just go away already??!! This channel has really gone down hill
????
@@amcb2035 I too am curious
How much do you want to ruin your channel with endless Chris Williamson? Well thats the end of that one then.
???
I’m 26 and am a lil worried about not finding the right chick.