No one changes there behavior unless they want too and narc won’t get help because they are perfectly fine ?right ?they won’t admit to being anything less than perfect
Omg!!! Yesss!!!! I just ended my relationship with 1. My relationship was like a roller coaster and it’s exhausting ! I developed anxiety and panic attacks.
Dr. Phil, your capacity to distil complex topics down to very easy to understand conceptions; and without losing the substance of the source research, is a deep gift. Thank you for making your ideas available to the rest of us by video. It's a major contribution.
Absolutely the case. You have described the narcisist and what they would do to you perfectly well. There is no talking or dealing with the narcisists If we want to stay sane, healthy and alive. A lot of people have not made it. Thank you dr Phil.
Their problem is our REACTION to their ACTIONS. There would be no reaction if there wasn't an action, but they will spin our reaction to be the problem and make themselves the victim.
When dealing with narcissism, you should know that it’s not personal. “It isn’t personal” is one of those cliches used to cushion all kinds of bad actions taken by people who need an out for being immoral, but in this case it actually gets near the truth. Narcissists don’t know how to love or be a friend; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissist value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing. They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection. Additionally, My ex narc managed to never get caught! However , he was “ hiding “ in plain sight! You notice the strange behaviors ( tilting phone screen so you can't see what they're texting , needing privacy for all calls and hanging up quick if you walk near them , telling insignificant lies when there's no need to , etc ) and you just feel a bad vibe! They have all sorts of tricks because they've been doing this stuff for so long! I later found out he was cheating on me with his ( 5th ) ex wife and another girl who worked at a nearby restaurant! through this forensic expert Metaspyhub@gmail. com...
My experience has been that all the narcissists I have known seemed like there was anger just below the surface waiting to emerge at the slightest feeling of jealousy. They hate love, joy, peace, gentleness, kindness, and self-control, it is a bane to their existence.
🎯💯 Facts. It's THEM, not us (the partners or victims). Although knowing it's not personal doesn't erase the psychological & emotional damage done. I've been dealing with a neighbor, and no matter how much I try GR or NC, he still crosses boundaries. I'm not even in a relationship with him! 🤯
Unfortunately, when you have children together, even after divorce, you can't disappear from their life because of the custody situation. The court does not understand the hell it is to have a narcissist in your life...
Thank you Dr. Phil for helping so many with awareness. I never completely understood before, been going on for too many years . I am at a point of no contact, putting myself first. That is new for be, but once you see it, can't be unseen. Heartfelt Thank you.❤
The Narcissist does not want to learn because that would require them to look within themselves. They spend much of their time looking at us, the culprits. The issue I had was that I was hoping things would change. I lived in that world for a long time. I realized that, by golly, there are many of us that know that feeling. I'm not alone! I'm so thankful for Doctors who talk about this. We talk to others about it, our friends and family, but it's so helpful when Doctor's talk about this abuse. It's affirming.
This information is right on to all I have experienced. Almost all extended family members are like this and I have been the scapegoat through gossip. I have been very happy moving on without them. They keep trying to contact me on birthdays and holidays, I am polite but decline any contact by saying things like; "I will be busy during that time." Narcissists just hate that you don't depend on them in a co-dependent way. They are angry and jealous that I don't need them. The narcissists are so dull in character that their rude attitude and actions refuse to admit they did anything to drive us away. One thing I have noticed is that they just hate when I am joyful and happy. They refuse to enjoy anything that I am enjoying with me. They are hell-bent on never affording me any validation at any time even when others have positively engaged with me. In fact, the validation of others aggravates them, they have to do something rude to make it look like I didn't deserve the praise of others.
I love it when dr Phil says when I was a young lad I thought I could fix everything. I honestly do not thank by any means they can even fix themselves. Like ever.😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫
If you live with or must work with narcissists you need to use caution; especially if your manager is a narcissist enabling other narcissists to act out. You cannot always move on so you need to learn how to deal with narcissists. They can hurt you and drive you crazy if you don't learn how not to internalize their brutal attacks. Amazing how Woke narcissists could not deal for a second what they dish out.
How do you co-parent with a narcissist?! He’s impossible and how do I deal with the fact that I’ve been alienated from my 17 yr old son? I fully understand it now that I’m living it sadly but to not be able to do anything about it is heartbreaking and kills me! He took my son away and mentally is damaging him…all I can do is wait?! It will be a year I divorced my narc x but son was 15 at time and we had a great relationship😢 let’s talk parental alienation and put a stop somehow to allowing it to happen! It’s not fair! I am a great mom and don’t deserve to be ignored by him for 2 years now like I died
I can feel emphaty for your pain as I know it my first hand. Be strong and learn how to endure your feelings. As a rare women that hase an insight into those extremly paifull feelings you mingt be interested to support men's rights movement - As men are 95% of those that suffer from this Symptoms. Ear for men is a chanal on youtube.
@@yolandastrickling1815 I am sorry to hear about what your going through😢 I feel like I never even gave birth to my son:( like I never existed in his eyes! It is definitely the worst pain and heartbreak I’ve ever felt. People close to me always say don’t give up hope. We don’t get these years back like you said. It’s just not fair!! All there is to do is wait?! It’s not fair to the kids! It makes them worse sadly! Shame on anyone who alienates kids from any family especially a mother! I’m sending you a 🤗 all we can do is hang in there and pray for a reunion sooner than later🙏🏻❤️
If you think you are involved with a narcissist the only choice you have is to run! As fast as you can. Don't let the monster suck you in. There is life after a narcissist. Keep listening to Dr. Phil's videos and hear what he's telling you. Just RUN and don't look back!
Dr Phill, thankyou. I have narcism in my family. I don't want to walk away - I want to know how to live at peace with them. I know the abuse they experienced as children. I'm disturbed by the videos that focus on revenge and hurting the narcist. A person who bullies a bully is a bully. It's not what Jesus asked of us. I wont be available to a malignant narcist but I want to learn to live with peace with difficult people. Binni 🇦🇺 xx
We are told to "honour our father and mother" but only so long as they are honourable. I don't like this "no contact" stuff. You can try low contact, be kind, but keep is distant and avoid wadding into areas where they can hurt you. Best wishes from the UK.
This a great video with excellent advice. The one thing missing is . . . what to do when walking away is not possible? I belong to a committee and one member is an extreme narcissist. Many people have resigned from the committee as their 'walking away' strategy but the committee must continue in some vein and function. The issues MUST be dealt with by / in the committee. How to proceed?
I'm the child of a narcissist with borderline personality disorder (my "diagnosis," and I'm not qualified to diagnose; I can just go by what I experienced and what I've read through Dr. Google). That's the Parent From Hell, and a parent with that combo leaves the child with all sorts of issues and scars. Such children are not capable of setting any boundaries; it's our PARENT who is gaslighting and shaming and fault-finding and telling us what horrible little pieces of sh*t we are. Mine added physical abuse to the emotional and mental abuse. That parenting, of course, has led to my poor boundary setting as an adult. I can't set a boundary to save my soul. My trying to set a boundary triggers all of my abandonment trauma issues. I'm now in my mid-60s. Needless to say, I've gone through life with an issue or two. I try to deal with all this through ongoing therapy (thank you, DrOnDemand), but it still, all these years later, bites me in the butt WAY more often than I'd like. But, ever the optimist, I firmly believe that one day I WILL learn to get all this parental doo-doo out of my everyday life. Your podcasts help, Dr. Phil. Much appreciated.
Although the narc in my life doesn't fit this example perfectly I am convinced they are a narc. I have numerous examples of bizarre conversations and situations that added it all up for me. One of the first was when my "friend" got extremely angry at me one day and demanded that I apologize to her. I came home, walked thru the house and when I came to her door and said something to her she jumped and screamed at me, said I was sneaking in and scaring her on purpose. I told her she needed to get her hearing checked. She then slammed her door. Then stalked around silently and walked out to leave. I went out and asked her if she was angry.. then the apology demand came up. I said I was not apologizing for something that I did not do! For reference she did get her hearing checked and then went on a furious rampage that the hearing machine was broken and that they refused to listen to her.... and that they were wrong... that nothing was wrong with her hearing. Another example... when I have asked about unfinished projects littering the house she goes on a rant about how much pain she is in and how I don't understand and how my 'cutting her down' is 'devastating' her. And to be honest here I only said that she needed to finish a project before starting a new one. (the next big thing is she wants to be a real estate agent). Then there are the conversations that never took place or are twisted to show how right she is about everything. She comes home from driving and always has a story about how people cut her off or almost run her over... although she is the one with numerous tickets and accidents that were clearly her own doing. And last but certainly not least is the Email I sent her (to keep a record of EXACTLY what I said) about selling my house at some point in the future. She says that she was "devastated" that I was going to throw her out and make her homeless without any warning. She was calling her son to let her move in with him, and desperately searching for a place to live. I had to get the email out and read it to her. No where in it did I say I was selling my house immediately and throwing her out! But now that I think about it, it might be a good thing if she gets out because i am over all the drama and crocodile tears. I moved 600 miles away for a job and she is in my house alone now. But it doesn't seem to make any difference. Instead of everyday constant drama, I get it in blasts on the phone or texts.
I made the above comment knowing from serious repeat experiences, that Im aware they cannot be changed by all kindly and professional helping hands!! Lol
What in the world could my grandmother have possibly done to my mother that would turn her into this monster? I just can't imagine. My grandmother raised me as a parent should.
If someone becomes a serious NPD because they were neglected and abused, it's so hard to believe that the issues can't be undone by revelation of The Truth to them. Even to the acknowledging of the raw facts that they were seriously neglected and abused in their childhood.
He literally have said all these things how do you justify stealing money from people then turn around and say if that’s what you want to call it and you’re evil for bringing up that he stolen but I’m thankful I left 4 years ago and I do not apologize for nothing he did
I wish i wasn't raised by a convert mother and have a 10 year older malignant sister. My brother was unstable and i forgave him. However, the damage of the narcissist is bad. My life has been robbed.
Dr Phil as for my case, she's my daughter 😢 and she's busy cutting stuff at home 😢😢, cutting my clothes shoes n stuff,.. even destroying her father's n siblings..visited mental hospital n given meds but still cutting n denying it.
What if i want to tear everything the narcissist has away from them. Such as being a leader/moderator in a community group? What if i know that i cant do that because i dont have the heart to but i cant help but vent about it in videos. Does that mean im a narcissist? If i point things out about narcissist that i have expierenced in a public way but dont have the heart to continue to try to open the eyes of the group and take that from them. And trust me i really really want to. So am i the narcissist? I think its important to note after i finally got a little peace and realized what had happen after a discussion with the groups mod i was surprisingly pulled into i completely walked away from the group as i felt they are allowing the narcissist to hide behind the group and im not about to break my moral and standards just to fit into a group. Thats a lie there is one person from the group i still associate with. Hes really sweet, kind, and understanding. Hes definitely a good guy and someone i would like to keep in my life. He has goals and someone i kind of look up to.
In the animal world. . . Both physical and non-Physical characteristics are inherited. A shark inherits it’s looks and it’s aggressive nature. So does a bull, so does a Rottweiler. A folder retriever inherits it’s look and it’s docile nature, so does a parakeet, so does a dolphin. And dear PHIL humans inherit our looks and our nature (aggressive or docile), Just like all the other animals. We are special, because we have language, which permits us to deceive ourselves and rationalize the we don’t inherit our nature (aggressive or docile).. This just proved how dumb we are.
I have resilience they use to abuse me emotionally , I am tired of them , I don't socialise with them at all , I know they know I know they are not good for what they think is they good for in my life. It's my life 🧬 so I have not stopped fighting them off and I have set strong Boundaries to take back my life , as long as the South African constitution doesn't stop my taking back my freedom to fit my age group 🙂😁♥️ , I am trying but I have to watch my back in South Africa
Can you be born to be a narcissist?? Thank God I don't live with one, it sounds REALLY scary. I may know people outside the house, shopping maybe & seem normal, is that true? Or do they automatically look like one?? It is extremely frightening in the world. So very sad.
Yeah, my husband was beaten up in Chinese schools in Taiwan. His parents fled communism but in Taiwan they could be called Mainland dogs. My husband's father was in the military, so sometimes his school was on base where they spoke Chinese. But when they were moved around to a different base, he had to go to a local school where they spoke Taiwanese. He didn't know the language and was behind one year in math. Sorry full situation but he's still an uncaring as*hole. In the movie Judge Roy Bean, with Gary Cooper, his character states: "I had a pet snake once. I loved that snake, but never turned my back on it."
what do you do about a family member who is manipulating/using another family member to hold you hostage? that's been my reality since i was on the dr phil show w/my manipulative, delusional, psychotic brother, who projected ALL of that onto me, in front of millions of people??? aside from a threatening phone call and threatening email from my so-called "friend" who was also on the show, i haven't heard from anyone since then, other than my dad, who my brother uses to bully and harass me by proxy. i'm literally being held prisoner and used according to some delusion my brother is living in. probably several delusions. i didn't realize until after the show aired that my brother is a malignant narcissist, that he was blaming me (not to my face, ever) for his marriage ending almost 20 years before that. he used dr phil to A) try to get his ex back, to no avail and B) to get a free trip to hollywood for his son, who is his SCAPEGOAT! in hindsight, he's always been manipulative and delusional, i just didn't see it b/c i was in the delusion with him. now i'm trapped in circumstances he's dictated, and used my dad to do it. i need help, he needs jail. but he's sneaky and keeps his own hands clean. he even defends a narc friend of my mom, who caused all kinds of drama in our family since i was a teenager, whispering toxic negativity in my already negative mother's ears.
and that's not even 1% of the greasy crap my brother and so-called "friend" have done to me. My brother's been stalking me on social media, teaching my dad how to stalk me, all to apparently "justify" or rationalize continuing to abuse me - for whatever delusion my brother is living in. One thing my dad said to me recently, was that he thought Simon was "manipulative". Manipulative is - my brother, conning my dad into buying him a house, a business/all the tools he needs for a business, THEN paying for all of his household needs, ie a fence, new siding, new appliances and god only knows what else, because my brother is too lazy to actually work. there was a point in time when my brother tried to blame me for him not getting business - lying to my dad, to get my dad to threaten ME with lawyers AND police, while my brother was publcily slandering the entire town council online, in the small town where he lives. as if slandering all those long-time residents, was good for business? AND there's a woman, who was an MLA, who also lives there, and was kicked out of the legislature recently durting elections, because of bizarre comments she made about trans kids. I would bet 1000$ that that woman, was influenced by my brother, i would bet she lost her position because of him. He is THAT convincing and manipulative. I don't know, but i suspect it's not a coincidence. I also know Simon's ex was extremely abusive and manipulative, my mom was extremely manipulative so for my dad to say Simon, who he didn't know well at all, was manipulative, had to be prrojection, coming from my brother, AGAIN. THE FACT IS, I DON'T KNOW IF SIMON IS ALIVE OR DEAD AND it was very very obviously "impressed" on me that he would be dead, prior to the dr phil show we were on, before i ever saw him again. AFTER the dr phil show, it was impressed on me, via a multitude of ways, that he was dead, possibly by suicide. But i dont know and no one i ask, will tell me. NOT ONLY THAT, but it was very obvious to me just prior to dr phil taping, that my brother intended or hoped simon was dead. It's too complicated to explain here, but to say it was extreme mental/psychological abuse and passive aggression, is putting it very lightly. I can't think why if Simon is not dead that he'd not talk to me about any of this in the 6 years since, or why if he is dead, everyone, including my POS brother, would know about it, except for me, and no one would tell me. This crap doesnt happen for no reason. I need a lawyer I need HELP. I told my dad I was going to get a lawyer in 2021 and he subtly threatened me, was vague and suggestive. I've slowly realized that my brtoher has manipulated all of my current circumstances - the rumours and harassment from people I don't know where i now live, including a series of next door neighbours, one of whom drugged my little dog in 2021. I was tripped and wound up in the hospital in 2020, on the beach, had a laxative put in my sushi in 2019, assaulted by a dental hygenist and more recenly, developed Trismus for an entire month after visiting a new dentist, where i live. 56 years of dental appointments, i have never not been able to eat properly for an entire month, or even a day afterward. None of it is coincidence. My brother manipulated my living here, has no empathy that it has 50+ stairs and when i moved in, my knee was stuck at a 90 degree angle. Then i had a toe amputated and had to use those damned stairs with a surgical shoe, then i had my knee replaced and had to navigate the stairs post surgery, THEN i was tripped on the beach and broke my greater trochanter 3 years ago and it still hurts. NOW, because of the abuse and isolation, my arthritis is 10x worse than it was when this nightmare began in 2014, with Simon's ex stalking and threatening both of us. I never got to mention that and she played no direct role in that dr phil show nightmare, but I am positive she had some influence behind the scenes, in fact - believe she, an aggressive manipulator - conspired with another aggressive manipulator, aka my brother, who in turn has been manipulating the hell out of my dad, and being pretty obvious about it. His most recent manipulation was to get my dad to harass me into giving my old car to his son - a budding future narcissist, spoiled brat. I got my mom's vehicle and thank god i didn't get rid of my car, because the car my dad gave me, which the whole family had obviously used as a hard-weather vehicle, now has a dead battery and I can't even get medical attention if i need it, without driving without insurance on my older car, which is not reliable. What kind of parent, gifts an unreliable vehicle to his disabled, isolated daughter? One under complete mind control of a manipulative narcissist, that's who. I might come back and comment another few paragraphs about Leighann, the little witch who was also conspiring with my brother and verbally abused me after the show, apparently hoping I'd commit you-know-what. SHE has never been a friend. Much less a "best friend". She is a liar, gossip and user.
But they need me, the narcissist needs me. They need perpetual, continuous, inexhaustible narcissistic supply. Have you ever been needed Dr Phil, it feels good, I mean it feels better than being not needed. #cepv #IMustWin
Dr Phil . .GET REAL. All animals inherit their looks AND THEIR DISPOSITIONS. They inherit their food preferences, their aggressive nature (or docile nature), etc etc etc. NEWS FLASH! We are animals! We inherit our nature (aggressive or docile). This is clear as day. When animals have different natures, they make up a different class. We do not apply the same criteria to humans ( because we want to think we’re all alike). We are animals and aggressive humans with no conscience, that only live for power are a different breed than humans that are loving, and not concerned about power over others. Phil e up and smell the %@#$. The difference between empaths and psychopaths is equal to the difference between dolphins and sharks.
You forgot "your a liar, I don't have a reason to lie, I never lie." You're a cheater. I never cheat, my family doesn't like me because I am married to you,
Actually Joe Biden is a malignant covert narcissist who is lying to the public and gaslighting us. Trump is the other narc that has confidence but he’s nit trying to destroy the country
I know how to handle a narcissist. 💪❤️👊😎🎯💯. In all seriousness the truth and holding them accountable will make them squirm. You have to hold your gound and hang tough. Don't let them dodge the real issues with their BS. They aren't all that special. Perfect example will be Trump . He's going to have to face the music. 11:30 Isn't that what Trump does?
If I am reading your comment correctly you think Trump is a narcissist.....but I know narcissistic behaviour, I lived with one for over 30 years....they only care about themselves, have no self reflection, and the fruit of non caring is there...they accuse others of what they are and are doing...Trump,oops, no that is Biden and his administration....they profess one thing while their policies, actions and agenda destroy the nation. Dont mistake arrogance and confidence for narcissism. They are not automatically connected. Someone can exhibit those traits and yet still care about others, the complete lack of caring, lack of empathy would be the key determiner if someone is a narcissist.
Its crazy how much content on narcissistic personality disorder has come up in the last few years
That's because the world is full of them and it seems like there are more narcissist than there are not
Never explain or apologize to a narcissist. Narcissists use good intent badly and demand more submission. Best to go and stay No Contact.
They would have to admit something is wrong with them first and that is not something a narcissist would do
Its really simple, If they are not willing to change get yourself into a position where you can distance yourself from them
God idea 💡 very intelligent advice
No one changes there behavior unless they want too and narc won’t get help because they are perfectly fine ?right ?they won’t admit to being anything less than perfect
Nailed it
Not so simple when they are married to your son 😔
@@donnaschnare7029 its your sons job to wise up. hes an adult. you dont need to be in his business trying to control
Assertiveness is the ability to tell a narcissist where to go in such a way that they actually LOOK FORWARD TO THE TRIP.
😄😃😅😄
Omg!!! Yesss!!!! I just ended my relationship with 1. My relationship was like a roller coaster and it’s exhausting ! I developed anxiety and panic attacks.
Dr. Phil, your capacity to distil complex topics down to very easy to understand conceptions; and without losing the substance of the source research, is a deep gift. Thank you for making your ideas available to the rest of us by video. It's a major contribution.
Absolutely the case. You have described the narcisist and what they would do to you perfectly well. There is no talking or dealing with the narcisists If we want to stay sane, healthy and alive. A lot of people have not made it. Thank you dr Phil.
Their problem is our REACTION to their ACTIONS. There would be no reaction if there wasn't an action, but they will spin our reaction to be the problem and make themselves the victim.
When dealing with narcissism, you should know that it’s not personal. “It isn’t personal” is one of those cliches used to cushion all kinds of bad actions taken by people who need an out for being immoral, but in this case it actually gets near the truth. Narcissists don’t know how to love or be a friend; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissist value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing. They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection. Additionally, My ex narc managed to never get caught! However , he was “ hiding “ in plain sight! You notice the strange behaviors ( tilting phone screen so you can't see what they're texting , needing privacy for all calls and hanging up quick if you walk near them , telling insignificant lies when there's no need to , etc ) and you just feel a bad vibe! They have all sorts of tricks because they've been doing this stuff for so long! I later found out he was cheating on me with his ( 5th ) ex wife and another girl who worked at a nearby restaurant! through this forensic expert Metaspyhub@gmail. com...
My experience has been that all the narcissists I have known seemed like there was anger just below the surface waiting to emerge at the slightest feeling of jealousy. They hate love, joy, peace, gentleness, kindness, and self-control, it is a bane to their existence.
✌️💯
You are worse than a narc.. you are spam 🤮
🎯💯 Facts. It's THEM, not us (the partners or victims). Although knowing it's not personal doesn't erase the psychological & emotional damage done. I've been dealing with a neighbor, and no matter how much I try GR or NC, he still crosses boundaries. I'm not even in a relationship with him! 🤯
The best thing you can do in a narcissistic relationship IS LEAVE AND NEVER LOOK BACK!
Unfortunately, when you have children together, even after divorce, you can't disappear from their life because of the custody situation. The court does not understand the hell it is to have a narcissist in your life...
Thank you Dr. Phil for helping so many with awareness. I never completely understood before, been going on for too many years . I am at a point of no contact, putting myself first. That is new for be, but once you see it, can't be unseen. Heartfelt Thank you.❤
The Narcissist does not want to learn because that would require them to look within themselves. They spend much of their time looking at us, the culprits. The issue I had was that I was hoping things would change. I lived in that world for a long time. I realized that, by golly, there are many of us that know that feeling. I'm not alone! I'm so thankful for Doctors who talk about this. We talk to others about it, our friends and family, but it's so helpful when Doctor's talk about this abuse. It's affirming.
Thank you Dr. Phil
This information is right on to all I have experienced. Almost all extended family members are like this and I have been the scapegoat through gossip. I have been very happy moving on without them. They keep trying to contact me on birthdays and holidays, I am polite but decline any contact by saying things like; "I will be busy during that time." Narcissists just hate that you don't depend on them in a co-dependent way. They are angry and jealous that I don't need them. The narcissists are so dull in character that their rude attitude and actions refuse to admit they did anything to drive us away. One thing I have noticed is that they just hate when I am joyful and happy. They refuse to enjoy anything that I am enjoying with me. They are hell-bent on never affording me any validation at any time even when others have positively engaged with me. In fact, the validation of others aggravates them, they have to do something rude to make it look like I didn't deserve the praise of others.
I love it when dr Phil says when I was a young lad I thought I could fix everything. I honestly do not thank by any means they can even fix themselves. Like ever.😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫
It’s nearly impossible to get rid of those leaches, the more you give them the more they will take.
thank you so much dr phil.. you're so good in explaining this that it made me realize i should pursue my masters in clinical psychology.
Been there done that. Turns out badly every time.
Thank you a balanced view Dr Phil. No fixing, just register empathy and move on.
If you live with or must work with narcissists you need to use caution; especially if your manager is a narcissist enabling other narcissists to act out. You cannot always move on so you need to learn how to deal with narcissists. They can hurt you and drive you crazy if you don't learn how not to internalize their brutal attacks. Amazing how Woke narcissists could not deal for a second what they dish out.
How do you co-parent with a narcissist?! He’s impossible and how do I deal with the fact that I’ve been alienated from my 17 yr old son? I fully understand it now that I’m living it sadly but to not be able to do anything about it is heartbreaking and kills me! He took my son away and mentally is damaging him…all I can do is wait?! It will be a year I divorced my narc x but son was 15 at time and we had a great relationship😢 let’s talk parental alienation and put a stop somehow to allowing it to happen! It’s not fair! I am a great mom and don’t deserve to be ignored by him for 2 years now like I died
Time, I had to wait years for my children and when they were adults they realized the narc. I have a wonderful relationship with them now. They know.
I can feel emphaty for your pain as I know it my first hand.
Be strong and learn how to
endure your feelings.
As a rare women that hase an insight into those extremly paifull feelings
you mingt be interested
to support men's rights movement - As men are 95% of those that suffer from this
Symptoms. Ear for men is
a chanal on youtube.
@@yolandastrickling1815 I am sorry to hear about what your going through😢 I feel like I never even gave birth to my son:( like I never existed in his eyes! It is definitely the worst pain and heartbreak I’ve ever felt. People close to me always say don’t give up hope. We don’t get these years back like you said. It’s just not fair!! All there is to do is wait?! It’s not fair to the kids! It makes them worse sadly! Shame on anyone who alienates kids from any family especially a mother! I’m sending you a 🤗 all we can do is hang in there and pray for a reunion sooner than later🙏🏻❤️
If you think you are involved with a narcissist the only choice you have is to run! As fast as you can. Don't let the monster suck you in. There is life after a narcissist. Keep listening to Dr. Phil's videos and hear what he's telling you. Just RUN and don't look back!
Thank you. This explains situations and people I experienced in the past. Plus, present work situations. Never knew of the term, narcissist. 👍🇨🇱
Dr Phill, thankyou. I have narcism in my family. I don't want to walk away - I want to know how to live at peace with them. I know the abuse they experienced as children.
I'm disturbed by the videos that focus on revenge and hurting the narcist. A person who bullies a bully is a bully. It's not what Jesus asked of us. I wont be available to a malignant narcist but I want to learn to live with peace with difficult people.
Binni 🇦🇺 xx
We are told to "honour our father and mother" but only so long as they are honourable.
I don't like this "no contact" stuff. You can try low contact, be kind, but keep is distant and avoid wadding into areas where they can hurt you.
Best wishes from the UK.
I find narcissists hilarious. They’re so easy to rile. Super entertaining
Dealing with narcissists can be like pulling elephants teeth with a pair of tweezers.
This a great video with excellent advice.
The one thing missing is . . . what to do when walking away is not possible?
I belong to a committee and one member is an extreme narcissist. Many people have resigned from the committee as their 'walking away' strategy but the committee must continue in some vein and function. The issues MUST be dealt with by / in the committee. How to proceed?
I would pay a lot of money to meet you dr Phil, I live in Malta. The thing is that i won straight away against the narcissist and she was bad.
Tell your secret 🤫 how did you win 🥇?
Thank you very much
Live, love and laugh.
Thanks for your services. This is helping me out a lot. Again Sir thank you
So true. I have been hurt my family that are 😢
I'm the child of a narcissist with borderline personality disorder (my "diagnosis," and I'm not qualified to diagnose; I can just go by what I experienced and what I've read through Dr. Google). That's the Parent From Hell, and a parent with that combo leaves the child with all sorts of issues and scars. Such children are not capable of setting any boundaries; it's our PARENT who is gaslighting and shaming and fault-finding and telling us what horrible little pieces of sh*t we are. Mine added physical abuse to the emotional and mental abuse. That parenting, of course, has led to my poor boundary setting as an adult. I can't set a boundary to save my soul. My trying to set a boundary triggers all of my abandonment trauma issues. I'm now in my mid-60s. Needless to say, I've gone through life with an issue or two. I try to deal with all this through ongoing therapy (thank you, DrOnDemand), but it still, all these years later, bites me in the butt WAY more often than I'd like. But, ever the optimist, I firmly believe that one day I WILL learn to get all this parental doo-doo out of my everyday life. Your podcasts help, Dr. Phil. Much appreciated.
Bless you, Dr. Phil.
In dealings with narcissism boundaries do not work, yes they can protect you but they are not honoured.
Dr.all true and happened and that last scene .Thank you
Although the narc in my life doesn't fit this example perfectly I am convinced they are a narc. I have numerous examples of bizarre conversations and situations that added it all up for me. One of the first was when my "friend" got extremely angry at me one day and demanded that I apologize to her. I came home, walked thru the house and when I came to her door and said something to her she jumped and screamed at me, said I was sneaking in and scaring her on purpose. I told her she needed to get her hearing checked. She then slammed her door. Then stalked around silently and walked out to leave. I went out and asked her if she was angry.. then the apology demand came up. I said I was not apologizing for something that I did not do! For reference she did get her hearing checked and then went on a furious rampage that the hearing machine was broken and that they refused to listen to her.... and that they were wrong... that nothing was wrong with her hearing. Another example... when I have asked about unfinished projects littering the house she goes on a rant about how much pain she is in and how I don't understand and how my 'cutting her down' is 'devastating' her. And to be honest here I only said that she needed to finish a project before starting a new one. (the next big thing is she wants to be a real estate agent). Then there are the conversations that never took place or are twisted to show how right she is about everything. She comes home from driving and always has a story about how people cut her off or almost run her over... although she is the one with numerous tickets and accidents that were clearly her own doing. And last but certainly not least is the Email I sent her (to keep a record of EXACTLY what I said) about selling my house at some point in the future. She says that she was "devastated" that I was going to throw her out and make her homeless without any warning. She was calling her son to let her move in with him, and desperately searching for a place to live. I had to get the email out and read it to her. No where in it did I say I was selling my house immediately and throwing her out! But now that I think about it, it might be a good thing if she gets out because i am over all the drama and crocodile tears. I moved 600 miles away for a job and she is in my house alone now. But it doesn't seem to make any difference. Instead of everyday constant drama, I get it in blasts on the phone or texts.
You need to get the house sold and get her out. But be very secretive and sly, because she may retaliate and cause property damage.
You learn how they think and communicate the best you can with what you have
And if you are lucky you will escape..
They are looking to heal their mommy issues
Good morning, Dr. Phil..
I can’t!!!! I leave them alone.
I made the above comment knowing from serious repeat experiences, that Im aware they cannot be changed by all kindly and professional helping hands!! Lol
What in the world could my grandmother have possibly done to my mother that would turn her into this monster? I just can't imagine. My grandmother raised me as a parent should.
Wow spot on !
Truth 😮
Thank You Dr Phil ☺️
If someone becomes a serious NPD because they were neglected and abused, it's so hard to believe that the issues can't be undone by revelation of The Truth to them. Even to the acknowledging of the raw facts that they were seriously neglected and abused in their childhood.
Wanting to change a person NEVER works. You have to love ❤️ the person like He/She is!!!❤
That's what experts are supposed to do. If they can't, they aren't experts - they are baffling you with bs.
He literally have said all these things how do you justify stealing money from people then turn around and say if that’s what you want to call it and you’re evil for bringing up that he stolen but I’m thankful I left 4 years ago and I do not apologize for nothing he did
I wish i wasn't raised by a convert mother and have a 10 year older malignant sister. My brother was unstable and i forgave him. However, the damage of the narcissist is bad. My life has been robbed.
Dr Phil as for my case, she's my daughter 😢 and she's busy cutting stuff at home 😢😢, cutting my clothes shoes n stuff,.. even destroying her father's n siblings..visited mental hospital n given meds but still cutting n denying it.
I work with a narcissist, it's difficult to be his coworker.
Thank you
What happens if you cut off a narcissist?
You have peace but keep waiting for the backlash. They ruin your life.
What if i want to tear everything the narcissist has away from them. Such as being a leader/moderator in a community group? What if i know that i cant do that because i dont have the heart to but i cant help but vent about it in videos. Does that mean im a narcissist? If i point things out about narcissist that i have expierenced in a public way but dont have the heart to continue to try to open the eyes of the group and take that from them. And trust me i really really want to. So am i the narcissist?
I think its important to note after i finally got a little peace and realized what had happen after a discussion with the groups mod i was surprisingly pulled into i completely walked away from the group as i felt they are allowing the narcissist to hide behind the group and im not about to break my moral and standards just to fit into a group.
Thats a lie there is one person from the group i still associate with. Hes really sweet, kind, and understanding. Hes definitely a good guy and someone i would like to keep in my life. He has goals and someone i kind of look up to.
You don't! Run
There is evidence that there are differences in our amygdalas
Im not trying to fix them I'm to busy fixing myself and what they did
Coverts aren’t like that they are hidden and very quiet.
RUN?
Ignore them
I guess my husband is a narcissist and my daughter took it from him! now what can I do, how do I create boundaries???😢
I filed for divorce and I'm staying in the house meanwhile he's trying to say sorry making me feel like it's on the bad person
Been with him for 28 years
In the animal world. . .
Both physical and non-Physical characteristics are inherited. A shark inherits it’s looks and it’s aggressive nature. So does a bull, so does a Rottweiler.
A folder retriever inherits it’s look and it’s docile nature, so does a parakeet, so does a dolphin.
And dear PHIL
humans inherit our looks and our nature (aggressive or docile),
Just like all the other animals.
We are special, because we have language, which permits us to deceive ourselves and rationalize the we don’t inherit our nature (aggressive or docile).. This just proved how dumb we are.
Can a narcissist heal themselves with a pill like bipolar?
Or if somethings not broken fix it til it is.
I have resilience they use to abuse me emotionally , I am tired of them , I don't socialise with them at all , I know they know I know they are not good for what they think is they good for in my life. It's my life 🧬 so I have not stopped fighting them off and I have set strong Boundaries to take back my life , as long as the South African constitution doesn't stop my taking back my freedom to fit my age group 🙂😁♥️ , I am trying but I have to watch my back in South Africa
Philip vs Dr Phil
Can you be born to be a narcissist?? Thank God I don't live with one, it sounds REALLY scary. I may know people outside the house, shopping maybe & seem normal, is that true? Or do they automatically look like one?? It is extremely frightening in the world. So very sad.
Yeah, my husband was beaten up in Chinese schools in Taiwan. His parents fled communism but in Taiwan they could be called Mainland dogs. My husband's father was in the military, so sometimes his school was on base where they spoke Chinese. But when they were moved around to a different base, he had to go to a local school where they spoke Taiwanese. He didn't know the language and was behind one year in math. Sorry full situation but he's still an uncaring as*hole. In the movie Judge Roy Bean, with Gary Cooper, his character states: "I had a pet snake once. I loved that snake, but never turned my back on it."
Sorry: the movie was actually The Westerner, 1940.
what do you do about a family member who is manipulating/using another family member to hold you hostage? that's been my reality since i was on the dr phil show w/my manipulative, delusional, psychotic brother, who projected ALL of that onto me, in front of millions of people??? aside from a threatening phone call and threatening email from my so-called "friend" who was also on the show, i haven't heard from anyone since then, other than my dad, who my brother uses to bully and harass me by proxy. i'm literally being held prisoner and used according to some delusion my brother is living in. probably several delusions.
i didn't realize until after the show aired that my brother is a malignant narcissist, that he was blaming me (not to my face, ever) for his marriage ending almost 20 years before that. he used dr phil to A) try to get his ex back, to no avail and B) to get a free trip to hollywood for his son, who is his SCAPEGOAT! in hindsight, he's always been manipulative and delusional, i just didn't see it b/c i was in the delusion with him. now i'm trapped in circumstances he's dictated, and used my dad to do it. i need help, he needs jail. but he's sneaky and keeps his own hands clean. he even defends a narc friend of my mom, who caused all kinds of drama in our family since i was a teenager, whispering toxic negativity in my already negative mother's ears.
and that's not even 1% of the greasy crap my brother and so-called "friend" have done to me. My brother's been stalking me on social media, teaching my dad how to stalk me, all to apparently "justify" or rationalize continuing to abuse me - for whatever delusion my brother is living in. One thing my dad said to me recently, was that he thought Simon was "manipulative". Manipulative is - my brother, conning my dad into buying him a house, a business/all the tools he needs for a business, THEN paying for all of his household needs, ie a fence, new siding, new appliances and god only knows what else, because my brother is too lazy to actually work. there was a point in time when my brother tried to blame me for him not getting business - lying to my dad, to get my dad to threaten ME with lawyers AND police, while my brother was publcily slandering the entire town council online, in the small town where he lives. as if slandering all those long-time residents, was good for business?
AND there's a woman, who was an MLA, who also lives there, and was kicked out of the legislature recently durting elections, because of bizarre comments she made about trans kids. I would bet 1000$ that that woman, was influenced by my brother, i would bet she lost her position because of him. He is THAT convincing and manipulative. I don't know, but i suspect it's not a coincidence. I also know Simon's ex was extremely abusive and manipulative, my mom was extremely manipulative so for my dad to say Simon, who he didn't know well at all, was manipulative, had to be prrojection, coming from my brother, AGAIN. THE FACT IS, I DON'T KNOW IF SIMON IS ALIVE OR DEAD AND it was very very obviously "impressed" on me that he would be dead, prior to the dr phil show we were on, before i ever saw him again. AFTER the dr phil show, it was impressed on me, via a multitude of ways, that he was dead, possibly by suicide. But i dont know and no one i ask, will tell me. NOT ONLY THAT, but it was very obvious to me just prior to dr phil taping, that my brother intended or hoped simon was dead. It's too complicated to explain here, but to say it was extreme mental/psychological abuse and passive aggression, is putting it very lightly. I can't think why if Simon is not dead that he'd not talk to me about any of this in the 6 years since, or why if he is dead, everyone, including my POS brother, would know about it, except for me, and no one would tell me. This crap doesnt happen for no reason. I need a lawyer I need HELP. I told my dad I was going to get a lawyer in 2021 and he subtly threatened me, was vague and suggestive.
I've slowly realized that my brtoher has manipulated all of my current circumstances - the rumours and harassment from people I don't know where i now live, including a series of next door neighbours, one of whom drugged my little dog in 2021. I was tripped and wound up in the hospital in 2020, on the beach, had a laxative put in my sushi in 2019, assaulted by a dental hygenist and more recenly, developed Trismus for an entire month after visiting a new dentist, where i live. 56 years of dental appointments, i have never not been able to eat properly for an entire month, or even a day afterward. None of it is coincidence. My brother manipulated my living here, has no empathy that it has 50+ stairs and when i moved in, my knee was stuck at a 90 degree angle. Then i had a toe amputated and had to use those damned stairs with a surgical shoe, then i had my knee replaced and had to navigate the stairs post surgery, THEN i was tripped on the beach and broke my greater trochanter 3 years ago and it still hurts.
NOW, because of the abuse and isolation, my arthritis is 10x worse than it was when this nightmare began in 2014, with Simon's ex stalking and threatening both of us. I never got to mention that and she played no direct role in that dr phil show nightmare, but I am positive she had some influence behind the scenes, in fact - believe she, an aggressive manipulator - conspired with another aggressive manipulator, aka my brother, who in turn has been manipulating the hell out of my dad, and being pretty obvious about it. His most recent manipulation was to get my dad to harass me into giving my old car to his son - a budding future narcissist, spoiled brat. I got my mom's vehicle and thank god i didn't get rid of my car, because the car my dad gave me, which the whole family had obviously used as a hard-weather vehicle, now has a dead battery and I can't even get medical attention if i need it, without driving without insurance on my older car, which is not reliable. What kind of parent, gifts an unreliable vehicle to his disabled, isolated daughter? One under complete mind control of a manipulative narcissist, that's who. I might come back and comment another few paragraphs about Leighann, the little witch who was also conspiring with my brother and verbally abused me after the show, apparently hoping I'd commit you-know-what. SHE has never been a friend. Much less a "best friend". She is a liar, gossip and user.
But they need me, the narcissist needs me. They need perpetual, continuous, inexhaustible narcissistic supply. Have you ever been needed Dr Phil, it feels good, I mean it feels better than being not needed. #cepv #IMustWin
Dr. Phil's father was a narcissist. He absolutely knows how it feels to be "needed" in that way. A narcissist "needs" to use you and that is all.
Older brother has done this to me all his life. Pushing into Suicide, making himself right
Dr Phil . .GET REAL.
All animals inherit their looks AND THEIR DISPOSITIONS. They inherit their food preferences, their aggressive nature (or docile nature), etc etc etc. NEWS FLASH! We are animals! We inherit our nature (aggressive or docile). This is clear as day. When animals have different natures, they make up a different class. We do not apply the same criteria to humans ( because we want to think we’re all alike). We are animals and aggressive humans with no conscience, that only live for power are a different breed than humans that are loving, and not concerned about power over others. Phil e up and smell the %@#$. The difference between empaths and psychopaths is equal to the difference between dolphins and sharks.
You a dangerous man😢
I'm not trying to change anybody and God loves them more than me. Screaming for years for 😢the world to hear them
@@robin2319 wrong. His wrath is on the wicked every day. God hates evil doers.
👍
You forgot "your a liar, I don't have a reason to lie, I never lie." You're a cheater. I never cheat, my family doesn't like me because I am married to you,
No doubt, Arkansas has "gang stalked" for almost 15 years NON STOP!
God. Demons kill, steal and destroy. Their conscience is destroyed with Hot Iron 1 Tim 4:2. God’s trying to wake us up from the Devil and his tricks
😮😮😮😮😮😮😊
Donald Trump the poster boy for narcissists the world over!
Actually Joe Biden is a malignant covert narcissist who is lying to the public and gaslighting us. Trump is the other narc that has confidence but he’s nit trying to destroy the country
Maybe true however he got things done for this country. Trump 2024!
What i dont like they tell people your the one thats crazy, and when im asked they heard i was i say you are stupid to even ask me that.
I know how to handle a narcissist. 💪❤️👊😎🎯💯. In all seriousness the truth and holding them accountable will make them squirm. You have to hold your gound and hang tough. Don't let them dodge the real issues with their BS. They aren't all that special.
Perfect example will be Trump . He's going to have to face the music. 11:30
Isn't that what Trump does?
If I am reading your comment correctly you think Trump is a narcissist.....but I know narcissistic behaviour, I lived with one for over 30 years....they only care about themselves, have no self reflection, and the fruit of non caring is there...they accuse others of what they are and are doing...Trump,oops, no that is Biden and his administration....they profess one thing while their policies, actions and agenda destroy the nation. Dont mistake arrogance and confidence for narcissism. They are not automatically connected. Someone can exhibit those traits and yet still care about others, the complete lack of caring, lack of empathy would be the key determiner if someone is a narcissist.
You don't....very simple. Lol.
Give it up, Phil; Oprah is backing a new shrink. How greedy can you be, man?
Why couldnt you handle trump??????
😂sß
Thank you Dr. Phil .