when someone makes us feel bad long enough, then we start to feel like bad people w/ shame and guilt. That's true. Also the "they have to look at someone else because they can't look at themselves" is a good point of wisdom
i'm just heartbroken i wasted 15 years for nothing for her. I could have met someone true for me...for everything ( health issues mostly ), we almost died 2 years ago over an accident, saved her life by crawling out of a deep ditch, bleeding from my head and pretty damaged arm and 2 years later being discarded as if i was dog shit. it's really hard to process everything.
Mortification or depeession won't ever happen to my mother: she has the money and property of my deceased father and has plenty of flying monkeys, my siblings. She can spared her scapegoated daughter but I'm sure she must be unbearable to my siblings which it will be my fault too.
Hello David! no contact for 3 years. Had 3 court cases. 1 finished. 2 are on going. But I do not attend court hearings, my lawyer takes care of this. My anxiety stopped, I sleep better, my mind is in peace, I can focus on self-love, healing and healthy relationships at work, family and in general. It’s most because of your valuable videos you share and my therapist. Thank you very much!!! 🌿☀️🙂
@@zzgkmzz thank you! it’s amazing! You are very strong and brave. I hope your court hearings will be over very soon and you could put that all behind you and develop and succeed in life as never before. ☀️🌿🌸😇
Tara (Niagara area Canada) - I just saw my sibling this past week up close for the first time in a long time. He did a little dance, flipping me the bird and talking smack to me but thankfully I had my car window up and didn't engage. I swear he was acting like a 4yr old not 40. But all his life problems, drug habit and homelessness is MY fault because he can't do anything for himself and after my other brother and both parents passed, he expected me to take on mommy role. Thankfully he is the only full blown narc in my life and the rest of my family and friends are decent human beings. Makes it easier to stay no contact with that kind of reaction/outburst of just passing by each other.
Yes it can be but not entirely. They may have more difficulty being alone and taje franric efforts to avoid this and find new people. They typically are not so grandiose and seem to be constantly retraumatized, especially if ending a relationship with them.
Hello, David! I was watching Hallmark channel! When I started changing the way I reacted to my husband, he noticed right away! That was when he started accusing me of things he was doing himself! Even at his lowest point he believed everything he told himself, all the lies, falsehoods. I never got the chance to really tell him what I thought before he passed away. It wouldn’t have made a difference anyway. I really think if I had told him I was learning to love myself, he would of laughed and said, you’re the only one who does, I tried and you wouldn’t let me in! That’s what he believed! It’s ok! I’m free and learning more everyday! Getting healthier, stronger! Thanks so much for the video tonight!😎❤️
I cant imagine how frustrating and lonely that would be. Telling you everything you see him do is you doing it and how bad you're feeling is your fault. You can still write him a letter and say everything you want to say to him. At least he can't argue or deny it now!
Hello Rory! 😊 thank you for sharing your story. Could you please add link to Hallmark Chanel. Would be interesting for me, too. Have a blessed day! 😇🌸🫶
@@emilytaylor1001 Hi, Emily! Thank you! Hallmark is a movie channel! Don’t know if I can add link for it. I’m on my kids plan and it’s a paid for service. 😎❤️
@@DeMarsCoaching Hi, David! I wrote him a letter To read to him privately at his funeral but was hesitant family could hear, so I just said to him, I don’t know why you treated me the way you did, and I hoped he was with his mom and dad. I threw the letter away. Maybe one day I will go to cemetery and talk to him, but I doubt it! Haven’t been as of yet and it has been over two years. Thank you, David! Enjoy your day! I’m headed out to see my garden!😎❤️
When my ex abandoned me and my daughters, I visualized he was right in front of me. I wrote him a letter and I read it to him. I told him everything I’ve always wanted to tell him, and I visualized him sad and walking away from me. It brought me such peace. Even though he didn’t physically die. The false self of him that I fell in love with is dead, and the one that lives now is evil. My father is an overt narcissist, my grandfather was an over narcissist and psychopath. My ex-husband was a covert narcissist, so when I met my ex-husband, I thought he was the most amazing man I’ve ever met in my life! They know exactly who they are what they do and why they do it! These are all confessions from my own father, grandfather, and ex-husband. I’m not sure how or why they all confessed this to me, but they did! I am 43 years old, and I have been through so much. God has healed my heart!
Good video. They cave in or find someone else; so true. When we lose the person we thought they were, it takes lots of time to process it and get over it. I belong to a support group for adult children of Narcs, on Facebook. It is very helpful, to associate with others, who’ve had similar experience. Narcissistic abuse is very isolating, especially if it came from parents. I notice that sometimes people in the group exhibit Narcissistic behaviors. They probably had Narc parents and belonging to these types of groups, might be helpful to them. I certainly hope so. Narcissism seems to be the real pandemic of our time.
I walked away from the family a year ago My 84 year old mother decided to surprise me with family members I no longer wanted to talk to I was very upset she didn't let me know ahead of time so I could decide if I wanted to be around these people the worst part is she had me sit down right next to them at this family partyto the and act like everything was okay and like a good daughter I waited to fall apart until I got home I feel like I let myself down this was a one chance to set boundaries
Hi, Victoria! What your mother did was cruel, deliberate, and calculating! However, bet she didn’t count on you to be so strong! Maybe silence is our best boundary in that situation! For me it got to the point where I said to myself I will cry when I get home, but tears never came. I stuffed my feelings so far down, I was numb! Thank you for sharing! May your day be as great as you are!❤️
Hey David, my sons behaviour is so wilful and erratic . I’ve tried to be patient with him and help him in the last 20years to no avail... he denies drug and substance abuse. I’ve told him till he gets help Rehab I don’t want him in my life ,no more money no more support. I pleaded with him to stop with his emotional manipulation but can’t get through to him , boundaries do not work with him it’s almost a challenge to him . He has affected my physical and mental well-being. I’ve explained this to him again to no avail. I’ve been seen a pyscologist who has advised me to go no contact so I can heal . In the last few weeks he has sent the police to my house for a wellness check ! The police have advised my husband and I to get a restraining order . This is the hardest thing I’ve EVER had to do 😢I still love my son but he has been diagnosed with cluster b personality disorder. Do you think this might help him to change his way . Thank you for your wonderful work . ❤ would love to hear what you think.
Im so sorry you don't have a relationship with your Son. I couldn't tell you if it will help him bit I know it will help you and that is all you can control. It sounds like any help or attention at all would just enable him to continue his behavior. Im really sorry Mom, love You first.
@@DeMarsCoaching Thank you David , you’re right , I just feel so guilty for having to do this to my own son . I have given him so many chances and have threatened him with restraining orders before but have never gone through with it , so he doesn’t take me seriously. The last few weeks have been a total nightmare, showing up at different times of the day and night. In the past I wasn’t fearful of him but now I’m not just fearful for me but also for him maybe hurting himself just to spite me . Thank you for your quick reply... my psychologist has diagnosed me with Trauma bond which is helping me with different skills,at times I feel strong and know I’m doing the right thing by not enabling his behaviour so anyhow tomorrow my husband and I will get restraining orders . I love my son but just can’t deal with him anymore, I feel as if Im already grieving him as I know he will never change.Once again thank you , I spoken to my pyscoligist about your work and she suggested I keep watching you’re videos 👍👍🙏❤️
How similar is this to the way the quiet Borderline reacts when discarded! The "collapse" seems a good concept on what she may have gone through. I share a hobby so know that through distance pursuit she sees me around although I never acknowledge her! I have been hoovered though through a blank email!
Hi David. Sandra from freezing Melbourne. This video was fantastic. It was like you were describing my ex psycho. Thanks again. You look like you have had some sun. I’m jealous. 😜
Lol David, like you said they need actors and actresses like it's a stage performance or like I've learned from other mentors a theater play, you know at the time and in the past it hurt, especially triangulation but down the road you just have to grin and laugh 😅 such con artists and desperate individuals, cool video and honestly I've taken that role but so happy I was fired, haha right, a certain sense of freedom and relief no more mind screwing or games 🖐💯✌🙏
Tasmania. Hello!! David. Thank you and yes!! your excellent! video is so very helpful! True,"I had gotton to know him the best"....... All you had greatly described, he had "Acted Out,".. His "collapse" and insidious brutally cruel whole mixed bag of horrors, used against me but also him, hoovering old exe victims. One ex, he was lovebombing while "future faking" with me. He wasn't so good and perfect as he thinks he is and forgot to check his eye glasses, before sending me a selfie of himself crying crocodile tears claiming "his undying love for me" lol! Smh I had found a very clear reflection, in his eye glasses of him video facetime calling another woman. He had shared loads of sad looking selfies of himself, playing the victim and portraying me as the villain. I felt deeply horrified for her, who ever she was and the many more victims to follow..🙏💜 Understandable as to why and underneath " they hate themselves." If you're patient they tell on themselves. His flying monkey, had sent me a letter, via mail, ( the only way they could stalk/harass me back then) and from him, making sure I knew that he had became engaged again,Wow! in the short space of six months and after I had to go no contact with him. Two years after, he had sent me a hoover, lovebombing letter. His good at going MIA, including his none missing apology and no mention of how he had tried to work at becoming a better person. All his " sweet as pie words,"🔎 and begging me" to contact him" which didn't leave me feeling all "fuzzy and warm, knowing the truth about him. His actions had told me all I needed to know about him. Enjoy! the rest of your weekend. ❤
Hi, El Leonard! All you have shared will surely help someone who is going through same things! I loved the eyeglasses scenario! I had similar experience with a glass picture frame! Thank you for sharing! Take care!😎❤️
@@rorywright5692 Hello!! Rory, thank you. I am sorry you too had the same dreadful truth, shockingly hit you like a ton of bricks hugs At least you know! the truth. Sadly,It was devastating for me at that time. I had believed in him and he said he would be back. That was before his mask fully dropped and brutally cruel evil smear campaigns full of lies. They accuse you of "cheating" when you know you haven't and its them all along cheating and playing you like a fiddle. They sabage themselves in the end, sadly for them. You take care too! ❤
Wow, he was mr charming. Totally blew me away knight in shining armour. My God...was I wrong. 36 years of marriage. I tried. At 56, have my life back. I will never have sn intamate relationship again.😊
when someone makes us feel bad long enough, then we start to feel like bad people w/ shame and guilt. That's true. Also the "they have to look at someone else because they can't look at themselves" is a good point of wisdom
i'm just heartbroken i wasted 15 years for nothing for her. I could have met someone true for me...for everything ( health issues mostly ), we almost died 2 years ago over an accident, saved her life by crawling out of a deep ditch, bleeding from my head and pretty damaged arm and 2 years later being discarded as if i was dog shit. it's really hard to process everything.
I'm sorry brother...I hope you're doing much better right now! It's better late than never... Hope you see it clearly now.
Narc will couple with pig just not to be alone.
👍🙄👍
Mortification or depeession won't ever happen to my mother: she has the money and property of my deceased father and has plenty of flying monkeys, my siblings.
She can spared her scapegoated daughter but I'm sure she must be unbearable to my siblings which it will be my fault too.
Hello David! no contact for 3 years. Had 3 court cases. 1 finished. 2 are on going. But I do not attend court hearings, my lawyer takes care of this. My anxiety stopped, I sleep better, my mind is in peace, I can focus on self-love, healing and healthy relationships at work, family and in general. It’s most because of your valuable videos you share and my therapist. Thank you very much!!! 🌿☀️🙂
Same here but I do attend court hearings. Stil ongoing.
Hi, Emily T! Getting healthy looks great on you! Hope all the court dates are over soon, and that you continue to grow! Have an awesome day!😎❤️
@@rorywright5692 thank you Rory! 🌿☀️❤️
@@zzgkmzz thank you! it’s amazing! You are very strong and brave. I hope your court hearings will be over very soon and you could put that all behind you and develop and succeed in life as never before. ☀️🌿🌸😇
Tara (Niagara area Canada) - I just saw my sibling this past week up close for the first time in a long time. He did a little dance, flipping me the bird and talking smack to me but thankfully I had my car window up and didn't engage. I swear he was acting like a 4yr old not 40. But all his life problems, drug habit and homelessness is MY fault because he can't do anything for himself and after my other brother and both parents passed, he expected me to take on mommy role. Thankfully he is the only full blown narc in my life and the rest of my family and friends are decent human beings. Makes it easier to stay no contact with that kind of reaction/outburst of just passing by each other.
You sound good Tara, I'm sorry for losing your Brother. It sounds like making more time between seeing him is better.
I find you sincere!
Thanks David! You're a wealth of knowledge!
Isn’t this also applicable with borderlines?
Yes it can be but not entirely. They may have more difficulty being alone and taje franric efforts to avoid this and find new people. They typically are not so grandiose and seem to be constantly retraumatized, especially if ending a relationship with them.
Hello, David! I was watching Hallmark channel! When I started changing the way I reacted to my husband, he noticed right away! That was when he started accusing me of things he was doing himself! Even at his lowest point he believed everything he told himself, all the lies, falsehoods. I never got the chance to really tell him what I thought before he passed away. It wouldn’t have made a difference anyway. I really think if I had told him I was learning to love myself, he would of laughed and said, you’re the only one who does, I tried and you wouldn’t let me in! That’s what he believed! It’s ok! I’m free and learning more everyday! Getting healthier, stronger! Thanks so much for the video tonight!😎❤️
I cant imagine how frustrating and lonely that would be. Telling you everything you see him do is you doing it and how bad you're feeling is your fault. You can still write him a letter and say everything you want to say to him. At least he can't argue or deny it now!
Hello Rory! 😊 thank you for sharing your story. Could you please add link to Hallmark Chanel. Would be interesting for me, too. Have a blessed day! 😇🌸🫶
@@emilytaylor1001 Hi, Emily! Thank you! Hallmark is a movie channel! Don’t know if I can add link for it. I’m on my kids plan and it’s a paid for service. 😎❤️
@@DeMarsCoaching Hi, David! I wrote him a letter To read to him privately at his funeral but was hesitant family could hear, so I just said to him, I don’t know why you treated me the way you did, and I hoped he was with his mom and dad. I threw the letter away. Maybe one day I will go to cemetery and talk to him, but I doubt it! Haven’t been as of yet and it has been over two years. Thank you, David! Enjoy your day! I’m headed out to see my garden!😎❤️
When my ex abandoned me and my daughters, I visualized he was right in front of me. I wrote him a letter and I read it to him.
I told him everything I’ve always wanted to tell him, and I visualized him sad and walking away from me. It brought me such peace. Even though he didn’t physically die. The false self of him that I fell in love with is dead, and the one that lives now is evil.
My father is an overt narcissist, my grandfather was an over narcissist and psychopath. My ex-husband was a covert narcissist, so when I met my ex-husband, I thought he was the most amazing man I’ve ever met in my life!
They know exactly who they are what they do and why they do it! These are all confessions from my own father, grandfather, and ex-husband. I’m not sure how or why they all confessed this to me, but they did! I am 43 years old, and I have been through so much. God has healed my heart!
Good video. They cave in or find someone else; so true. When we lose the person we thought they were, it takes lots of time to process it and get over it.
I belong to a support group for adult children of Narcs, on Facebook. It is very helpful, to associate with others, who’ve had similar experience. Narcissistic abuse is very isolating, especially if it came from parents.
I notice that sometimes people in the group exhibit Narcissistic behaviors. They probably had Narc parents and belonging to these types of groups, might be helpful to them.
I certainly hope so. Narcissism seems to be the real pandemic of our time.
I walked away from the family a year ago My 84 year old mother decided to surprise me with family members I no longer wanted to talk to I was very upset she didn't let me know ahead of time so I could decide if I wanted to be around these people the worst part is she had me sit down right next to them at this family partyto the and act like everything was okay and like a good daughter I waited to fall apart until I got home I feel like I let myself down this was a one chance to set boundaries
Hi, Victoria! What your mother did was cruel, deliberate, and calculating! However, bet she didn’t count on you to be so strong! Maybe silence is our best boundary in that situation! For me it got to the point where I said to myself I will cry when I get home, but tears never came. I stuffed my feelings so far down, I was numb! Thank you for sharing! May your day be as great as you are!❤️
Hey David, my sons behaviour is so wilful and erratic . I’ve tried to be patient with him and help him in the last 20years to no avail... he denies drug and substance abuse. I’ve told him till he gets help Rehab I don’t want him in my life ,no more money no more support. I pleaded with him to stop with his emotional manipulation but can’t get through to him , boundaries do not work with him it’s almost a challenge to him . He has affected my physical and mental well-being. I’ve explained this to him again to no avail. I’ve been seen a pyscologist who has advised me to go no contact so I can heal . In the last few weeks he has sent the police to my house for a wellness check ! The police have advised my husband and I to get a restraining order . This is the hardest thing I’ve EVER had to do 😢I still love my son but he has been diagnosed with cluster b personality disorder. Do you think this might help him to change his way . Thank you for your wonderful work . ❤ would love to hear what you think.
Im so sorry you don't have a relationship with your Son. I couldn't tell you if it will help him bit I know it will help you and that is all you can control. It sounds like any help or attention at all would just enable him to continue his behavior. Im really sorry Mom, love You first.
@@DeMarsCoaching Thank you David , you’re right , I just feel so guilty for having to do this to my own son . I have given him so many chances and have threatened him with restraining orders before but have never gone through with it , so he doesn’t take me seriously. The last few weeks have been a total nightmare, showing up at different times of the day and night. In the past I wasn’t fearful of him but now I’m not just fearful for me but also for him maybe hurting himself just to spite me . Thank you for your quick reply... my psychologist has diagnosed me with Trauma bond which is helping me with different skills,at times I feel strong and know I’m doing the right thing by not enabling his behaviour so anyhow tomorrow my husband and I will get restraining orders . I love my son but just can’t deal with him anymore, I feel as if Im already grieving him as I know he will never change.Once again thank you , I spoken to my pyscoligist about your work and she suggested I keep watching you’re videos 👍👍🙏❤️
How similar is this to the way the quiet Borderline reacts when discarded! The "collapse" seems a good concept on what she may have gone through. I share a hobby so know that through distance pursuit she sees me around although I never acknowledge her! I have been hoovered though through a blank email!
Hi David. Sandra from freezing Melbourne.
This video was fantastic. It was like you were describing my ex psycho.
Thanks again. You look like you have had some sun. I’m jealous. 😜
Hi, Sandra! Hope it warms up soon!!😎❤️
Your so healing ❤
Kim is still 🔥 trying to talk to me. No contact for well over 1 year ❤.Paul from Wisconsin. Will she ever give it up. Thanks David 😊
Hi, Paul! Always good to see you! Stay strong!!😎❤️
Lol David, like you said they need actors and actresses like it's a stage performance or like I've learned from other mentors a theater play, you know at the time and in the past it hurt, especially triangulation but down the road you just have to grin and laugh 😅 such con artists and desperate individuals, cool video and honestly I've taken that role but so happy I was fired, haha right, a certain sense of freedom and relief no more mind screwing or games 🖐💯✌🙏
Please sign and share the Stop Narcissistic Online Bullying global petition:
change.org/stopbullies
You are wondefoll ❤
It helps. Thanks
Tasmania.
Hello!! David.
Thank you and yes!! your excellent! video is so very helpful!
True,"I had gotton to know him the best".......
All you had greatly described, he had "Acted Out,".. His "collapse" and insidious brutally cruel whole mixed bag of horrors, used against me but also him, hoovering old exe victims.
One ex, he was lovebombing while "future faking" with me.
He wasn't so good and perfect as he thinks he is and forgot to check his eye glasses, before sending me a selfie of himself crying crocodile tears claiming "his undying love for me" lol! Smh
I had found a very clear reflection, in his eye glasses of him video facetime calling another woman.
He had shared loads of sad looking selfies of himself, playing the victim and portraying me as the villain.
I felt deeply horrified for her, who ever she was and the many more victims to follow..🙏💜
Understandable as to why and underneath " they hate themselves."
If you're patient they tell on themselves.
His flying monkey, had sent me a letter, via mail, ( the only way they could stalk/harass me back then) and from him, making sure I knew that he had became engaged again,Wow! in the short space of six months and after I had to go no contact with him.
Two years after, he had sent me a hoover, lovebombing letter.
His good at going MIA, including his none missing apology and no mention of how he had tried to work at becoming a better person.
All his " sweet as pie words,"🔎 and begging me" to contact him" which didn't leave me feeling all "fuzzy and warm, knowing the truth about him.
His actions had told me all I needed to know about him.
Enjoy! the rest of your weekend. ❤
Thank you for sharing! This is powerful! 🦋👍🏻☀️😊
@@emilytaylor1001 Thank you Emily 💜 🦋
Hi, El Leonard! All you have shared will surely help someone who is going through same things! I loved the eyeglasses scenario! I had similar experience with a glass picture frame! Thank you for sharing! Take care!😎❤️
@@rorywright5692 Hello!! Rory, thank you.
I am sorry you too had the same dreadful truth, shockingly hit you like a ton of bricks hugs
At least you know! the truth.
Sadly,It was devastating for me at that time. I had believed in him and he said he would be back.
That was before his mask fully dropped and brutally cruel evil smear campaigns full of lies.
They accuse you of "cheating" when you know you haven't and its them all along cheating and playing you like a fiddle.
They sabage themselves in the end, sadly for them.
You take care too!
❤
Very helpful channel. Thank you.
Thank you
Wow, he was mr charming. Totally blew me away knight in shining armour. My God...was I wrong. 36 years of marriage. I tried. At 56, have my life back. I will never have sn intamate relationship again.😊
🤗👍
Hi, Cindy C! 😎❤️
@@rorywright5692 hi. Have a wonderful week. Hope you found lots of rest, relaxation, and enjoyment this weekend. 🤗❤️🌼
@@cindyc You too!😎❤️
Does the same go for bpd man with npd traits?