Thank you ♥️ I sure as hell didn’t feel calm during the making of this video. This trip as shoved some shit into my consciousness that I didn’t feel like I was ready for. I’m leaving because I have to let go of some shit out of my control that I’ve been acting like was in my control. So I guess there’s actually a calmness I can feel due to that realization. Always appreciate your words Sassy!!!
Once you start to figure things out, I wonder if you can ever truly go home again? Random anger from triggers are the best (ha - not). Hope you are able to re-integrate some of that stuff - something I am having difficulty doing as well. I found it nearly impossible to do without the help of others, but luckily I have found an online group that is helping me with that slow process.
It will certainly be difficult. Re-Integrating is definitely hard, especially with old relationships. Going against the “status quo” takes a lot of courage. I’m working on that. I’ve thought about online groups and stuff but the idea still makes me extremely uneasy. I realize just how much I don’t trust anyone. It feels quite lonely 😔
The trust factor was the hardest part for me as well. 6 months in to being a part of my current group and only in the last week or so am I getting to the point of opening up more. It feels wonderfully freeing.
I understand suppressing our needs around family especially if there’s been past conflict. Regarding the Walmart employee, I could never do that fucking job 😅 because I wouldn’t care about checking receipts. Legally you don’t have to show them but then they may take it overboard which is my fear. My recommendation is when visiting family, don’t stay with them. It’s more expensive to be in a hotel or Airbnb but it’s worth it. To me even if that means I only go see them once a year until I’m more financially stable. At a hotel the boys could swim then head home. Or maybe shorter trips at your sisters could be helpful. I understand not wanting the kids to feel like you’re abandoning them. I have sisters that are 6 and 14, adult younger siblings too. You’re doing the best you can and you matter too. It’s called being self full when you take care of your needs. Every experience shapes us and the uncomfortable moments lead to growth. Your feelings are valid and taking care of yourself is necessary because no one else will. PS fuck the CEOs of Walmart 😅
Lmao 🤣 I absolutely wouldn’t do that job either. I already knew it wasn’t required by law so I was already worked up walking to the door. Not staying with them is excellent advise! I’ll have to do that next time. I do believe not being able to have a place to go just for me contributed greatly to this. Hearing those words about me metering does help, it’s hard sometimes to actually fully believe it sometimes. It’s getting easier. But some days are so much worse. Lmao 🤣 🙌🏽 at least they closed for thanksgiving which I was surprised (or at least they did here in Denver)
I swear I can feel your spirit. It just glows. I smile and feel some kind of calmness during your introductions.
Thank you ♥️ I sure as hell didn’t feel calm during the making of this video. This trip as shoved some shit into my consciousness that I didn’t feel like I was ready for. I’m leaving because I have to let go of some shit out of my control that I’ve been acting like was in my control. So I guess there’s actually a calmness I can feel due to that realization.
Always appreciate your words Sassy!!!
Once you start to figure things out, I wonder if you can ever truly go home again? Random anger from triggers are the best (ha - not). Hope you are able to re-integrate some of that stuff - something I am having difficulty doing as well. I found it nearly impossible to do without the help of others, but luckily I have found an online group that is helping me with that slow process.
It will certainly be difficult.
Re-Integrating is definitely hard, especially with old relationships. Going against the “status quo” takes a lot of courage. I’m working on that.
I’ve thought about online groups and stuff but the idea still makes me extremely uneasy. I realize just how much I don’t trust anyone. It feels quite lonely 😔
The trust factor was the hardest part for me as well. 6 months in to being a part of my current group and only in the last week or so am I getting to the point of opening up more. It feels wonderfully freeing.
@@kellyblack9868 I’ll get there 😊 I’m glad you found your people and happy you’re able to feel the freedom of being able to open up!
@@HammzRadio I think you will too!
@@kellyblack9868 🤗
I understand suppressing our needs around family especially if there’s been past conflict.
Regarding the Walmart employee, I could never do that fucking job 😅 because I wouldn’t care about checking receipts. Legally you don’t have to show them but then they may take it overboard which is my fear.
My recommendation is when visiting family, don’t stay with them. It’s more expensive to be in a hotel or Airbnb but it’s worth it. To me even if that means I only go see them once a year until I’m more financially stable. At a hotel the boys could swim then head home. Or maybe shorter trips at your sisters could be helpful.
I understand not wanting the kids to feel like you’re abandoning them. I have sisters that are 6 and 14, adult younger siblings too. You’re doing the best you can and you matter too. It’s called being self full when you take care of your needs.
Every experience shapes us and the uncomfortable moments lead to growth. Your feelings are valid and taking care of yourself is necessary because no one else will.
PS fuck the CEOs of Walmart 😅
Lmao 🤣 I absolutely wouldn’t do that job either. I already knew it wasn’t required by law so I was already worked up walking to the door.
Not staying with them is excellent advise! I’ll have to do that next time. I do believe not being able to have a place to go just for me contributed greatly to this.
Hearing those words about me metering does help, it’s hard sometimes to actually fully believe it sometimes. It’s getting easier. But some days are so much worse.
Lmao 🤣 🙌🏽 at least they closed for thanksgiving which I was surprised (or at least they did here in Denver)