That's sadly true Mostly because femininity is still seen as weak (tomboys are accepted but feminine boys are insulted, parents let their daughters wear pants but not their sons skirts or dresses, etc.)
Yeah FTM people after HRT can usually pass better them MTF people. Testosterone-based puberty is much harder to mask over with estrogen than the other way around, so trans women still (often) have facial hair and low voices. Trans women are also more negatively portrayed in media as predators, whereas trans men are more often seen as confused girls trying to be special or people brainwashed by a trans cult. Neither is good, but being MTF often puts you in more immediate physical danger.
@@izzysnyder5226 Combined with the assumptions that women should look petite and dainty it can sadly be quite a toxic reception. I'd love to see more tall and/or muscular women!
@@matrasman I agree! I wish our idea of female beauty could include features that were seen as more "masculine". It would make things better for trans women who don't always pass and butch women who have very masculine features/style. I think all women are beautiful :)
I don't like the term 'passing' because it implies that you're deceiving people. One thing I've noticed though is that the way people dress now is SO varied that it is no longer a 'norm' for the genders. I saw a tall guy today in my city and he was totally rocking a summer dress with black tights. I realized later that confidence shines more brightly than the clothes we ware. If you act like you own the street, people won't give you a second look. You're so sweet, I love your videos x
I personally wear pretty neutral clothing and my friend actually kinda lost me in a shop because they only saw me from behind and thought I was some random guy. But the real problem is my face, I just look 'too' female and it's really frustrating.
Ikr same problem but also because I can't really wear anything that it masculine cuz of my parents nd I just wear hijab and a long coat and I feel really dysphoric. I can't do anything
@@kaylingrogg5195 what I meant is: it doesn't matter if you present masculine, feminine or androgynous, non-binary people don't owe androginy, you can be non-binary and present whatever you want
@@cassiestrangeworld i really wish… it doesn’t help when i get dysphoric when ppl misgender me… i go by they/them lol after coming out (?) to my mom, she started pointing out all my feminine traits and tries to invalidate my identity. she also thinks im ftm? i’m non-binary- i told her i want top surgery and she keeps thinking i want to go on hormone therapy and bottom surgery. which i never told her i wanted. i also have been isolated from the outside world for years, i’m so used to my online friends and being comfortable in my own gender that… i can’t even deal with being misgendered. my hair gets too long, i don’t dress super masculine, im too short, my voice is too feminine, b o o b s… literally everything my mom has told me made me hate that part of me.
Wow, this was so helpful Noah! I've been strugging to find out what I am, genderfluid or non-binary (they/them). It's just really hard for me because I'm not out to my parents yet so it's hard to get a hold of a binder, or cut my hair shorter, or even just get away with wearing non-gender specific/"male" clothes. Thank you so much, this made me feel so much better!
Thanks to you, I've ordered my first binder, And I'm getting over my dysphoria! I'm proud to be transmasculine. Love you dude, keep up your great work.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING THIS. ive been struggling so much lately with trying to "pass" bc i have a very high pitched voice and a kinda feminine face, and this video made me feel a whole lot better, thank you:')
Honestly it seems like such a small thing but darkening my brows seems to make me go from 0 to 100 in two seconds. I'm genderfluid. Next challenge, trying to figure out how to do formal clothing nice. Thanks for the video. Most people don't post them because they appear controversial etc.
My parents don't support me and won't let me do anything to "pass" they said I have to wait untill I'm 18 so I have to wait 4 years. I'm also questioning if I'm trans (ftm) or non binary
well no offense but offense: ur parents are trash. they should accept u for u and help i to feel more comfy as urself and ily and support u so um i’m ur new parent now 😌
i think it might be valid to wait on surgery/more permanent treatment, and you’ll be glad that medically transitioning later in life is easier for FTM and afabs in general, but i can’t understand why your parents wouldn’t let you try different clothes or pronouns and socially transition :/
My issue is always with the clothing bc I'm nonbinary, but guy clothes that I like tend to be v e r y big on me since I'm very tiny (5 ft Asian over here-)
@Dakota Hemerson Same thing here. I shop from the boys' aisle and always walk out with fun glow in the dark Star Wars tees, sick Marvel tees that actually suit my minuscule body! Being short and overall thin really makes it easier to be mistaken as a child, so that's that. Once a lady shopping with her kids saw me choosing tees and said to her daughter "this is the BOYS section, hunny, don't even shop here, 'kay?". Imagine being this toxic, I would never.
I felt the haircut. I went and showed the stylist a picture of Hugh grant (in the 90’s) and as she was cutting she was like “don’t worry I won’t make it too manly.” But I walked into the shop manly. I showed a picture of a man. 🤷🏻
Thanks man, I've just recently become 'officially' nonbinary, as in I've told my parents what I'd like to do and changed pronouns. This makes me so happy to hear that there is no such thing as 'passing'
Hi friends! Big tip! If you have chest dysphoria: thinking about your chest in a gender neutral way. A chest isn’t necessary masculine or feminine. It helped me lots :)
I'm 31 and just now finding myself. I am either a Demigirl or transgender. problem is that I'm married to a man. And my family and husband won't easily accept me for who I am. I need to come out and start being myself. What should I do?
I'm 30 and just recently came to terms with being non-binary. My wife had a little bit of trouble accepting it at the start, she had learned to identify herself as a lesbian and was unsure what me being transmasculine would mean for her own sexual identity. When I started going by male pronouns, she really struggled because she didn't want to identify as straight. I think something that is hard for us to understand, is that we aren't the only ones who's identity is changing when we start coming out. Does my wife now have a husband instead of a wife? Does my father now have a son instead of a daughter? Don't get me wrong, the real struggle is yours, you are going to have the hardest time adjusting and working with people to get them to just accept you for who you are. But in the end, you have to do what is best for YOU. Coming out has been a huge emotional journey for me and I'm still not out all the way yet (haven't tried to do it at work yet), but being myself has been worth every struggle. Being able to wake up and know people are seeing me the way I want to be seen, hearing them talk about me using the pronouns I want, has made such a huge difference in just how I feel in general. My whole life has been a struggle because I couldn't fit myself in either the girl box or the boy box. Finally, I am allowing myself to be in the middle and not trying to force myself too fair in either direction. My thoughts are just like that old saying 'those who matter won't mind, and those who mind shouldn't matter'. In the end you need to do what you need to do to be the happiest healthiest person you can be. It's never going to be an easy transition but it's still definitely worth the struggles. And those people who love you, it may take them time, and multiple discussions (don't forget lots of positive reinforcement from you), but if they truly love you for you... they will want you to be happy too. Sorry for such a long post! Hope it helps, and good luck!!
If your husband loves you for who you are he’ll understand. I’m sure it’d be hard to realise later in life (especially when youre married) but you need to be true to who you are and if your husband loves you he should understand
I've been on a long term relationship for four years now with a cis guy. Even though he grew on a very "everything-phobic" environment, he's pretty chill about my lack of gender identity and always tries so hard to make me feel accepted and not trigger any dysphoria. Just let them take some time to learn and always make your voice heard when something hits you deep. Have a wonderful day, hope it all works out for you.
I'm 32 and just came to terms (seriously days ago) with the fact that I'm genderfluid. I was born into a female body, but I feel both inside and sometimes neither!! I have a husband and 3 kids. My husband and my best friend so far, are the only ones who know. They were both supportive. My husband is bi, so it didn't even phase him. He actually really embraced it and calls me handsome when I'm feeling more masc :) I'm scared to tell my parents, even though they are both super cool. I came out as bisexual when I was 19 and they were both very supportive and happy for me. I just don't want them to think of me as anyone different than who I already am. I'm still me...this is just the REAL me.
Thank you for making this video. I’ve recently realised that I’m trans and I’ve wanted to try to pass in public, mainly for my own self esteem. This video helped me. Thank you.
Noah I just want you to know that you are now my favorite UA-camr. I have 3 channels 1 i dont use anymore the other one is personal and the there's one that's a Squad of 5 people including me and i explain/talk about what I went through and how my parents react. You inspired me to keep going and do what I love to do and I want to thank you for it.
I'm Nonbinary and I really like this Video. Mostly the message at the end of the Video. I just subscribed:))) I'm not out anywhere else than on the Internet. You are so cool!!!!!
Hi, i am a young female and i think i am non binary. I have been thinking about coming out to my family and friends but i am worried that i am making a wrong decision and i should wait untill i am certain. I have always known i was different to other girls my age, but it never occured to me that i could be non binary. Should i wait untill i am older so i am certain im making the right decision coming out? Please help me. I really dont know who i am. (169 comments btw)
I’m nonbinary too, I think you should wait until certain but maybe look things up or try to pay more attention to what exactly makes you uncomfortable. Good luck with your journey, I hope that you will find yourself soon 💗💙⚪️💙💗
Hey. Its been a year since my last comment and i have come out as trans ftm to my friends! I finally feel comfortable in my body and my friends were supportive. Im going to come out to my family at the end of this year
Thank you for making this because this helped a lot. You are great. You definitely have some great advice. And can I just say that you are really Attractive. ❤❤
I'm so glad I found you on this website. Can you make a video talking about how to get a men's haircut? I want to but feel too awkward to ask about it.
I've been wearing pixies for over a year now, and it's the most liberating thing I've ever done. I usually go for messy undercuts, but I had a long journey to get to where I am now. You can start small, with just a bob. Then, progress over a pixie bob, and finally do whatever style that suits best for your face shape. Google about face shapes and hair styles, find out what will flatter you the most. Then just go to an unisex hair salon and cut it there, no one will judge you, specially when it comes out amazing. I was the salon's talk all month when I entered with hip length hair and walked away happily with a pixie. Be brave and don't restrain from being yourself, we're all here cheering for you. Hope I helped.
✨Tip for filling in your brows!✨ fill in from the bottom, not the top, go for something more straight than arched. Above all do more experimenting with what works for your face, not just copying what you see on other people
im really sad that even though my new teachers have never met me before and they know my pronouns they still slip up sometimes and i feel its bc i look too feminine :(
I wear a lot of hoodies too, but not really for gender expression reasons. My house is flipping cold and the thermostat is finicky so I don’t mess with it. Also I work in the drive thru window everyday and grabbing money from customers thru the window for eight hours a day in the dead of winter in Michigan is brutal. I got layers, hoodie, gloves, and hand warmers in my pockets. Not now of course. It’s finally warming up enough
Dude this is so amazing this has helped me ALOT i only have one question, no need to answer but.... were your perants helpfull when you made the ....desision.....?
I’m a trans-masc gender-fluid person. I bind and dress masculine anyway since I was younger. ( the dressing bit not the binding bit)I just feel more comfortable and more like myself.I recently got a really short hair cut than I grew it out a little bit.
Oh my gosh my voice is the highest cutest little voice that any 16 could have it sucks, the moment I open my mouth everyone just goes. "Yup that's a girl."
I can understand the haircut one I went to the hair salon with a certain haircut in mind but my mom found a more "girly" One for me and I was just gonna ask the person doing my hair to change it but my mom was there with me and I wasn't ready to tell her yet so yeah... Now I'm thinking about cutting my hair a bit myself but idk.
I think I am gender fluid but I am not very sure. Some days I will want to have makeup on my face and sometimes I feel like I need to be a boy and I feel comfortable however my family is homophobic so I don't know what to do
This is great!! But sadly my problem is that I am a fashionista at heart no matter how I feel that day. I dont know if it's because I'm used to how diverse female casual wear is that I just really don't like plain hoddies and tshirts that much but if I wear button up shirts to school it's too formal. How do I even dress up a little but still seen as casual when I feel like a dude that day?????
My brother is big time into fashion, a button up shirt, roll of the sleeves, a certain pair of pants etc. it can looks casual or a little more dressy depending on how you wear it.
this is very helpful. I'm not sure if I'm trans, but I feel confident when I'm not misgendered, lol, but all of the time ppl keep identifying me AS A SHE, which is really getting me to feel uncomfortable, thanks Noah
Please don’t bind with random binders from Amazon or sth, they’re usually really dangerous for your ribs and lungs!! Please only bind with binders from brands that are known for making safe binders such as underworks, gc2b (although I heard that lately their quality has gotten worse), or spectrum outfitters. You can also bind with kinesiology tape, but please know what you’re doing when you attempt this.
As an enby I find that I pass well when I have both masc and fem elements to the way I look. I'll usually try to appear like I'm amab (though I'm not) and wear masc clothes and more fem makeup. When I know I'm going to be misgendered (by parents I'm not out to and such) ill try to look as much as a boy as possible. The goal of all of this is to confuse people about my gender, as this is my main source of gender euphoria
Though this is a online thing, on my Minecraft server I pass (to most besides like 3 ppl on the server) as a guy, some saw me as a girl. (Short hair on Minecraft skin, Minecraft skin had a sweater. Though in real life my hair is a pixie cut) and I had Salem(neutral name) as my in game name. Some assumed I was a girl cause of Salem witch trials, and witches are female and I'm turn usually thought as girls XD I am used to he pronouns now because of my mc friends.
- Am I nonbinary? Am I trans? Can anyone help me with this? I’m struggling with my gender. - So far I’ve been describing myself as a gay female. - I don’t feel like a girl or boy. - I thought I could be trans before I learned I could be in between or neither (a spectrum). - I don’t want male genitalia but I do have chest dysphoria. - I would feel better if I had a more sharp and defined jaw line. - I don’t like shaving my legs and feel like I shouldn’t have to. - I like the way guys clothes fit on me and experience dysphoria when in tight fitted women’s clothing. - I’m confused about my gender identity and how it relates to my gender expression.
Hey, so I really want to help you out. The majority of non-binary people and trans masculine people just tend to have chest dysphoria (myself included). It's just a pattern I'm seeing. It is completely fine to identify as a female and have a flat chest (think of people with breast cancer) you'd just be getting surgery for another reason. But you said you don't feel like a male or a female. That's fine too. You can be agender (having no gender) or gender neutral. Perhaps they/them pronouns would be the way to go for you. 😊 The female body thing I totally get. There's nothing androgynous about breasts or a female curve, it is very one sided. If wearing baggy more "male" clothes makes you feel better, by all means do it. Androgynous however is a style, a form of expression and itself is not a gender. Your gender identity is different from your gender expression. For example, a male could be presenting femininely. His gender expression is feminine (not female, female is not the same as feminine) but his gender identity is male (regardless of the fact if he was born a male or not). That is just one example. Your expression does however not need to be different. You can conform to gender roles by presenting femininely and by your gender identity being female. Now, if you are uncomfortable with being called she/her and he/him, they/them might just be that common ground that you feel comfy in. You can present androgynous and be gender neutral. It's all about you and no one gets to tell you you are wrong
Some trans people identify as binary because they feel like a guy or a girl 100% of the time, always. There's no doubt about it. Other people identify as non-binary because they feel male the majority of the time and female occasionally. In other words they are not strictly one or the other. This does not have to be male or female, though. You can be 80% male and the other 20% is agender. That's just an example. There's a wide variety. And it's completely okay to not want male genitalia. Just as an example with trans guys, a lot of trans guys I know want top surgery but not bottom surgery. It really just depends on how much dysphoria you have and where it is.
I'm not non-binary, I am a girl. For about a year, Ive been really uncomfortable in my own skin. I want to be a boy. It's gotten to the point where I've lost interest in everything, I prefer to stay in my room in bed all day, l have almost no energy and motivation, and my appetite has been all over the place. I've also become scarily anti-social. My mind makes me feel physically ill, and I hate that I'm this way now. I've tried dropping small hints like wearing bigger clothes, flannels, hoodies, hats backwards, tomboy type things. I've also showed my mom pictures of male haircuts I want, but I blurred the pictures so she wouldn't know. This didn't work though. I'm 13, so I can't shop in the men's section, wear binders, get a haircut, or anything I wish to do. I'm too scared to tell my family about this, and even if I did, there's nothing that could be done. Thank you if you stayed to the end of this, I just needed to get this off my chest. Thank you for these tips.
Hey. It's gonna be okay. It might not be completely okay now, but it'll be okay later. One day you'll have full autonomy over your clothes, binders, and haircuts. One day you'll have full freedom to discover who you are. It's hard, it's scary as anything, but you'll make it. Might I suggest finding ways to bring up trans people with your parents to gauge how accepting they might be? Something like "Hey, I found this video of a trans guy talking about how happy getting top surgery made him! What do you think? Isn't it sad how cruelly people treat trans people sometimes?" Their response will tell you a lot. Even if they are hostile to trans people, there's a lot of people in the same boat on the internet who you can talk to
Cool tips with the comments thing and transphobic people. Especially the hormone-problem excuse I find cool. For people in my school "knowing" me, or seeing me longer, I just educate and its a-ok.
Noah Hella aw Noah I really don’t know how anyone can hate on you. You’re amazing and actually quite helpful. Not to mention you’re adorable. I love your accent by the way 😅😅
i wish i didn’t have to dress a certain way to not be misgendered. i can’t even have a tiny backpack. 🧎i hate texas. i hope i can train my voice to be deeper to fuck with ppls minds 😋
Just wanted to let you know that I don’t identify with non binary anymore. Just trans guy (he/him) ✌🏼
Sounds good! Thanks for telling us😁😁
Noah Hella ❤️
Thats great! You do you and whatever makes you happy
Thanks for letting us know 🥰
Aight cool
"you're always passing because you're always you" omg you're so AWESOME 😍😍😍
It just me or FTM are treated better than MTF in society and community... Idk why this question popped in my head... I'm non binary btw.
That's sadly true
Mostly because femininity is still seen as weak (tomboys are accepted but feminine boys are insulted, parents let their daughters wear pants but not their sons skirts or dresses, etc.)
Yeah I know right! My cousin is MtF and she gets way more dirty looks than my MtF friend!!!
Yeah FTM people after HRT can usually pass better them MTF people. Testosterone-based puberty is much harder to mask over with estrogen than the other way around, so trans women still (often) have facial hair and low voices. Trans women are also more negatively portrayed in media as predators, whereas trans men are more often seen as confused girls trying to be special or people brainwashed by a trans cult. Neither is good, but being MTF often puts you in more immediate physical danger.
@@izzysnyder5226 Combined with the assumptions that women should look petite and dainty it can sadly be quite a toxic reception. I'd love to see more tall and/or muscular women!
@@matrasman I agree! I wish our idea of female beauty could include features that were seen as more "masculine". It would make things better for trans women who don't always pass and butch women who have very masculine features/style. I think all women are beautiful :)
I don't like the term 'passing' because it implies that you're deceiving people. One thing I've noticed though is that the way people dress now is SO varied that it is no longer a 'norm' for the genders.
I saw a tall guy today in my city and he was totally rocking a summer dress with black tights. I realized later that confidence shines more brightly than the clothes we ware. If you act like you own the street, people won't give you a second look.
You're so sweet, I love your videos x
Kiyoshi Kirishima yeah exactly, you always pass :)
That's so rad! I love that!
And thank u kid, that makes me smile
He slaying
I wanna know people like him, I bet they're great to be around
As an afab genderfluid person, my biggest goal is to have a masculine body but dress femininely (with the occasional suit, because damn that's hot).
I personally wear pretty neutral clothing and my friend actually kinda lost me in a shop because they only saw me from behind and thought I was some random guy. But the real problem is my face, I just look 'too' female and it's really frustrating.
Tay look at make up videos how to look like a girl to a guy
The power that make up does for people
Ikr same problem but also because I can't really wear anything that it masculine cuz of my parents nd I just wear hijab and a long coat and I feel really dysphoric. I can't do anything
Tay my face is very “female “ and the paiim
Pain**
I know the pain
How to pass as non-binary: be non-binary. That's it. You're valid.
That’s really unhelpful.
@@kaylingrogg5195 what I meant is: it doesn't matter if you present masculine, feminine or androgynous, non-binary people don't owe androginy, you can be non-binary and present whatever you want
@@cassiestrangeworld i really wish… it doesn’t help when i get dysphoric when ppl misgender me… i go by they/them lol
after coming out (?) to my mom, she started pointing out all my feminine traits and tries to invalidate my identity. she also thinks im ftm? i’m non-binary- i told her i want top surgery and she keeps thinking i want to go on hormone therapy and bottom surgery. which i never told her i wanted.
i also have been isolated from the outside world for years, i’m so used to my online friends and being comfortable in my own gender that… i can’t even deal with being misgendered.
my hair gets too long, i don’t dress super masculine, im too short, my voice is too feminine, b o o b s… literally everything my mom has told me made me hate that part of me.
Wow, this was so helpful Noah! I've been strugging to find out what I am, genderfluid or non-binary (they/them). It's just really hard for me because I'm not out to my parents yet so it's hard to get a hold of a binder, or cut my hair shorter, or even just get away with wearing non-gender specific/"male" clothes. Thank you so much, this made me feel so much better!
I hope you get to be who you are someday whether you're gender fluid or non binary (sorry if this was super cheesy)♥️💛💚💙💜
Thanks to you, I've ordered my first binder, And I'm getting over my dysphoria! I'm proud to be transmasculine. Love you dude, keep up your great work.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING THIS. ive been struggling so much lately with trying to "pass" bc i have a very high pitched voice and a kinda feminine face, and this video made me feel a whole lot better, thank you:')
Him: shows binder
Me: jealous
I swear to god all of us transgender people have the same 14 pack of black earrings lmao
Honestly it seems like such a small thing but darkening my brows seems to make me go from 0 to 100 in two seconds. I'm genderfluid. Next challenge, trying to figure out how to do formal clothing nice. Thanks for the video. Most people don't post them because they appear controversial etc.
I find men's Levi's jeans are super useful for passing. Especially the straight leg ones
My parents don't support me and won't let me do anything to "pass" they said I have to wait untill I'm 18 so I have to wait 4 years. I'm also questioning if I'm trans (ftm) or non binary
well no offense but offense: ur parents are trash. they should accept u for u and help i to feel more comfy as urself and ily and support u so um i’m ur new parent now 😌
i think it might be valid to wait on surgery/more permanent treatment, and you’ll be glad that medically transitioning later in life is easier for FTM and afabs in general, but i can’t understand why your parents wouldn’t let you try different clothes or pronouns and socially transition :/
My issue is always with the clothing bc I'm nonbinary, but guy clothes that I like tend to be v e r y big on me since I'm very tiny (5 ft Asian over here-)
@Dakota Hemerson Same thing here. I shop from the boys' aisle and always walk out with fun glow in the dark Star Wars tees, sick Marvel tees that actually suit my minuscule body! Being short and overall thin really makes it easier to be mistaken as a child, so that's that.
Once a lady shopping with her kids saw me choosing tees and said to her daughter "this is the BOYS section, hunny, don't even shop here, 'kay?". Imagine being this toxic, I would never.
Imagine being skinny :'c
Same
Omg, Noah u look exactly like NF, that's a good thing btw
The singer, right?
I felt the haircut. I went and showed the stylist a picture of Hugh grant (in the 90’s) and as she was cutting she was like “don’t worry I won’t make it too manly.” But I walked into the shop manly. I showed a picture of a man. 🤷🏻
Can i just that noah looks hella cute (awkward fingerguns)(sorry)(I'm gonna go now)
Sofie. Batman aww you're cute ☺️
Noah Hella omg u replied that makes my pun 7 times more awkward ^_^
I really like long hair. On everyone. Regardless of gender. Short and medium hair is cool too, but I love having long hair.
Thanks man, I've just recently become 'officially' nonbinary, as in I've told my parents what I'd like to do and changed pronouns. This makes me so happy to hear that there is no such thing as 'passing'
Me: okay when I order my food imma have a lower voice!
Also me: **high pitch shy voice** can I get the kids Mac and cheese-
As a genderfluid *currently* guy, i just want to thank you for useful tips, that I've never thought of before
Hi friends! Big tip! If you have chest dysphoria: thinking about your chest in a gender neutral way. A chest isn’t necessary masculine or feminine. It helped me lots :)
Stance and how u body language and your presence has really good way to show people your more masculine presenting
The person that did my hair recently shaved off my “sideburns” without asking me the other day and I got SO sad. I love my “sideburns”
I'm 31 and just now finding myself. I am either a Demigirl or transgender. problem is that I'm married to a man. And my family and husband won't easily accept me for who I am. I need to come out and start being myself. What should I do?
I'm 30 and just recently came to terms with being non-binary. My wife had a little bit of trouble accepting it at the start, she had learned to identify herself as a lesbian and was unsure what me being transmasculine would mean for her own sexual identity. When I started going by male pronouns, she really struggled because she didn't want to identify as straight. I think something that is hard for us to understand, is that we aren't the only ones who's identity is changing when we start coming out. Does my wife now have a husband instead of a wife? Does my father now have a son instead of a daughter?
Don't get me wrong, the real struggle is yours, you are going to have the hardest time adjusting and working with people to get them to just accept you for who you are. But in the end, you have to do what is best for YOU. Coming out has been a huge emotional journey for me and I'm still not out all the way yet (haven't tried to do it at work yet), but being myself has been worth every struggle. Being able to wake up and know people are seeing me the way I want to be seen, hearing them talk about me using the pronouns I want, has made such a huge difference in just how I feel in general. My whole life has been a struggle because I couldn't fit myself in either the girl box or the boy box. Finally, I am allowing myself to be in the middle and not trying to force myself too fair in either direction.
My thoughts are just like that old saying 'those who matter won't mind, and those who mind shouldn't matter'. In the end you need to do what you need to do to be the happiest healthiest person you can be. It's never going to be an easy transition but it's still definitely worth the struggles. And those people who love you, it may take them time, and multiple discussions (don't forget lots of positive reinforcement from you), but if they truly love you for you... they will want you to be happy too.
Sorry for such a long post! Hope it helps, and good luck!!
If your husband loves you for who you are he’ll understand. I’m sure it’d be hard to realise later in life (especially when youre married) but you need to be true to who you are and if your husband loves you he should understand
I've been on a long term relationship for four years now with a cis guy. Even though he grew on a very "everything-phobic" environment, he's pretty chill about my lack of gender identity and always tries so hard to make me feel accepted and not trigger any dysphoria. Just let them take some time to learn and always make your voice heard when something hits you deep. Have a wonderful day, hope it all works out for you.
I'm 32 and just came to terms (seriously days ago) with the fact that I'm genderfluid. I was born into a female body, but I feel both inside and sometimes neither!! I have a husband and 3 kids. My husband and my best friend so far, are the only ones who know. They were both supportive. My husband is bi, so it didn't even phase him. He actually really embraced it and calls me handsome when I'm feeling more masc :) I'm scared to tell my parents, even though they are both super cool. I came out as bisexual when I was 19 and they were both very supportive and happy for me. I just don't want them to think of me as anyone different than who I already am. I'm still me...this is just the REAL me.
I’m finding myself I’m only 10
Thank you for making this video. I’ve recently realised that I’m trans and I’ve wanted to try to pass in public, mainly for my own self esteem. This video helped me. Thank you.
Noah I just want you to know that you are now my favorite UA-camr. I have 3 channels 1 i dont use anymore the other one is personal and the there's one that's a Squad of 5 people including me and i explain/talk about what I went through and how my parents react. You inspired me to keep going and do what I love to do and I want to thank you for it.
Shack thank you so much, this means a lot! Keep killing it :)
Great video man. I'm sure this'll help a lot of people out who want to feel less dysphoric / to make their situation safer. :)
thanks mate :) hope it does!
:)
I’m not allowed to get binders, but I use tight sports bras. They work, I guess
Yeah, my boobs are still there but a lot smaller with them
Not to mention bras make the chest muscles weak, they always made my back hurt.
I'm Nonbinary and I really like this Video. Mostly the message at the end of the Video. I just subscribed:)))
I'm not out anywhere else than on the Internet.
You are so cool!!!!!
I'm glad you feel safe here to share that
Same
this is the first video i watched of yours and you have one beautiful soul
Hi, i am a young female and i think i am non binary. I have been thinking about coming out to my family and friends but i am worried that i am making a wrong decision and i should wait untill i am certain. I have always known i was different to other girls my age, but it never occured to me that i could be non binary. Should i wait untill i am older so i am certain im making the right decision coming out? Please help me. I really dont know who i am.
(169 comments btw)
I’m nonbinary too, I think you should wait until certain but maybe look things up or try to pay more attention to what exactly makes you uncomfortable. Good luck with your journey, I hope that you will find yourself soon 💗💙⚪️💙💗
Maybe wait a bit, if you are not sure. But I'm sure you will find out who you are! I thought I was non binary, but I am gender neutral masculine ^^
Hey. Its been a year since my last comment and i have come out as trans ftm to my friends! I finally feel comfortable in my body and my friends were supportive. Im going to come out to my family at the end of this year
@@Finn-ic3yj that is great! How did it go?
It’s ok to take ur time! You’ll find yourself eventually ❤️
You are passing because you are always you😁😁❤️❤️ this made me so happy
Thank you for making this because this helped a lot. You are great. You definitely have some great advice. And can I just say that you are really Attractive. ❤❤
The video is so inspirational. Thank u💛
I'm so glad I found you on this website. Can you make a video talking about how to get a men's haircut? I want to but feel too awkward to ask about it.
I've been wearing pixies for over a year now, and it's the most liberating thing I've ever done. I usually go for messy undercuts, but I had a long journey to get to where I am now. You can start small, with just a bob. Then, progress over a pixie bob, and finally do whatever style that suits best for your face shape. Google about face shapes and hair styles, find out what will flatter you the most. Then just go to an unisex hair salon and cut it there, no one will judge you, specially when it comes out amazing. I was the salon's talk all month when I entered with hip length hair and walked away happily with a pixie. Be brave and don't restrain from being yourself, we're all here cheering for you. Hope I helped.
This video is amazing. You're amazing. Thank you for this
The last one was so great :)
thank you so much this helps a lot,, i identify as agender and struggle a lot with passing as genderless so i’ll try to take your advice!
I'm so happy I found this video
I love this. You were so thorough and helpful also very hella handsome
This video gave me a lot of confidence in identifying as a guy so thank you so much!
✨Tip for filling in your brows!✨ fill in from the bottom, not the top, go for something more straight than arched. Above all do more experimenting with what works for your face, not just copying what you see on other people
i really liked that last tip ;)
I'm nonbinary, but people still think I'm a girl, and I guess they don't see my pronoun patch. Thanks for this video!
@Jordan P They aren't a girl if you want to be rude,leave.
@Jordan P It's not facts,they are not a girl,they are Nonbinary and if you can't handle it then leave.Oh and also learn how to spell.
THANK YOU!
AYMARA LEÓN CÉPEDA YOU ARE SO WELCOME
im really sad that even though my new teachers have never met me before and they know my pronouns they still slip up sometimes and i feel its bc i look too feminine :(
I wear a lot of hoodies too, but not really for gender expression reasons. My house is flipping cold and the thermostat is finicky so I don’t mess with it.
Also I work in the drive thru window everyday and grabbing money from customers thru the window for eight hours a day in the dead of winter in Michigan is brutal. I got layers, hoodie, gloves, and hand warmers in my pockets. Not now of course. It’s finally warming up enough
Dude this is so amazing this has helped me ALOT i only have one question, no need to answer but.... were your perants helpfull when you made the ....desision.....?
i love my long hair my curly long hair, it’s just sucks because i look feminine i wanna be a guy with long hair but it’s hard to pass
Your videos really help me thanks
I'm glad
you are the realist thank you
new subscriber here. seen some of your other videos. I really appreciate hearing all this this morning. :D
yay! welcome to the fam
I don't have a binder so I wear sports bras 😐 they don't work as well but it's all I got
6:20; I am lucky. My voice is neither male nor female. It makes it easier being non binary
Violetta lucky I look, sound and seems like a girl granted I am not allowed to look the part do to my famiky
Lucky I sound and look like a whole ass fEMaLe 😔
I’m a trans-masc gender-fluid person. I bind and dress masculine anyway since I was younger. ( the dressing bit not the binding bit)I just feel more comfortable and more like myself.I recently got a really short hair cut than I grew it out a little bit.
Oh my gosh my voice is the highest cutest little voice that any 16 could have it sucks, the moment I open my mouth everyone just goes. "Yup that's a girl."
9:53 made me cry
I can understand the haircut one I went to the hair salon with a certain haircut in mind but my mom found a more "girly" One for me and I was just gonna ask the person doing my hair to change it but my mom was there with me and I wasn't ready to tell her yet so yeah... Now I'm thinking about cutting my hair a bit myself but idk.
I think I am gender fluid but I am not very sure. Some days I will want to have makeup on my face and sometimes I feel like I need to be a boy and I feel comfortable however my family is homophobic so I don't know what to do
This is great!! But sadly my problem is that I am a fashionista at heart no matter how I feel that day. I dont know if it's because I'm used to how diverse female casual wear is that I just really don't like plain hoddies and tshirts that much but if I wear button up shirts to school it's too formal. How do I even dress up a little but still seen as casual when I feel like a dude that day?????
My brother is big time into fashion, a button up shirt, roll of the sleeves, a certain pair of pants etc. it can looks casual or a little more dressy depending on how you wear it.
pleaseeee i love you!!
Such a great video, I have to say, and also you are so handsome.
SENPAI NOTICE ME
honeydew mikah haha what?
It's an inside joke XD
I blame the generation gap
this is very helpful. I'm not sure if I'm trans, but I feel confident when I'm not misgendered, lol, but all of the time ppl keep identifying me AS A SHE, which is really getting me to feel uncomfortable, thanks Noah
LMOA i was just going to search this then it was the first thing on my recommended
Please don’t bind with random binders from Amazon or sth, they’re usually really dangerous for your ribs and lungs!! Please only bind with binders from brands that are known for making safe binders such as underworks, gc2b (although I heard that lately their quality has gotten worse), or spectrum outfitters. You can also bind with kinesiology tape, but please know what you’re doing when you attempt this.
Thanks. Very good and helpful video
You're welcome :)
This video is "Hella" amazing lmao
I wanna pass without being out and it’s fucking difficult
Really old video but it still helps! Thanks!
As an enby I find that I pass well when I have both masc and fem elements to the way I look. I'll usually try to appear like I'm amab (though I'm not) and wear masc clothes and more fem makeup. When I know I'm going to be misgendered (by parents I'm not out to and such) ill try to look as much as a boy as possible. The goal of all of this is to confuse people about my gender, as this is my main source of gender euphoria
You have gorgeous eyes.
I’m really short ( 4 ft 10 ) and struggle buying jeans and trousers.
I use the amazon ones and they work super well for me :D Don't knock em before you try em, other peeps on youtube!
TheAndromeda1111 haha mate watch my comparison video ;) but I'm happy it works for you!
I mean for other people who might wanna try one :)
TheAndromeda1111 👌🏼💛
Though this is a online thing, on my Minecraft server I pass (to most besides like 3 ppl on the server) as a guy, some saw me as a girl. (Short hair on Minecraft skin, Minecraft skin had a sweater. Though in real life my hair is a pixie cut) and I had Salem(neutral name) as my in game name. Some assumed I was a girl cause of Salem witch trials, and witches are female and I'm turn usually thought as girls XD I am used to he pronouns now because of my mc friends.
Mary Monahan ha interesting! Yeah gaming characters can be a cool way to try that stuff out :)
Noah Hella lol I wasn't trying it out honestly but it happened and I'm like "well this is interesting."
I look androgynous on every angle except from the front xD but my voice is deep and I don't know how to sound androgynous at this point
Damn your videos keep making me tear up lol
aw
Also doesn’t it help to breathe from your stomach than chest? Or idk. I heard it somewhere
I don't why they label clothes I mean there a piece of fabric why we need to label em
- Am I nonbinary? Am I trans? Can anyone help me with this? I’m struggling with my gender.
- So far I’ve been describing myself as a gay female.
- I don’t feel like a girl or boy.
- I thought I could be trans before I learned I could be in between or neither (a spectrum).
- I don’t want male genitalia but I do have chest dysphoria.
- I would feel better if I had a more sharp and defined jaw line.
- I don’t like shaving my legs and feel like I shouldn’t have to.
- I like the way guys clothes fit on me and experience dysphoria when in tight fitted women’s clothing.
- I’m confused about my gender identity and how it relates to my gender expression.
Hey, so I really want to help you out. The majority of non-binary people and trans masculine people just tend to have chest dysphoria (myself included). It's just a pattern I'm seeing. It is completely fine to identify as a female and have a flat chest (think of people with breast cancer) you'd just be getting surgery for another reason. But you said you don't feel like a male or a female. That's fine too. You can be agender (having no gender) or gender neutral. Perhaps they/them pronouns would be the way to go for you. 😊 The female body thing I totally get. There's nothing androgynous about breasts or a female curve, it is very one sided. If wearing baggy more "male" clothes makes you feel better, by all means do it. Androgynous however is a style, a form of expression and itself is not a gender. Your gender identity is different from your gender expression. For example, a male could be presenting femininely. His gender expression is feminine (not female, female is not the same as feminine) but his gender identity is male (regardless of the fact if he was born a male or not). That is just one example. Your expression does however not need to be different. You can conform to gender roles by presenting femininely and by your gender identity being female. Now, if you are uncomfortable with being called she/her and he/him, they/them might just be that common ground that you feel comfy in. You can present androgynous and be gender neutral. It's all about you and no one gets to tell you you are wrong
Some trans people identify as binary because they feel like a guy or a girl 100% of the time, always. There's no doubt about it. Other people identify as non-binary because they feel male the majority of the time and female occasionally. In other words they are not strictly one or the other. This does not have to be male or female, though. You can be 80% male and the other 20% is agender. That's just an example. There's a wide variety. And it's completely okay to not want male genitalia. Just as an example with trans guys, a lot of trans guys I know want top surgery but not bottom surgery. It really just depends on how much dysphoria you have and where it is.
Bailey JP same
I'm not non-binary, I am a girl. For about a year, Ive been really uncomfortable in my own skin. I want to be a boy. It's gotten to the point where I've lost interest in everything, I prefer to stay in my room in bed all day, l have almost no energy and motivation, and my appetite has been all over the place. I've also become scarily anti-social. My mind makes me feel physically ill, and I hate that I'm this way now. I've tried dropping small hints like wearing bigger clothes, flannels, hoodies, hats backwards, tomboy type things. I've also showed my mom pictures of male haircuts I want, but I blurred the pictures so she wouldn't know. This didn't work though. I'm 13, so I can't shop in the men's section, wear binders, get a haircut, or anything I wish to do. I'm too scared to tell my family about this, and even if I did, there's nothing that could be done. Thank you if you stayed to the end of this, I just needed to get this off my chest. Thank you for these tips.
Hey. It's gonna be okay. It might not be completely okay now, but it'll be okay later. One day you'll have full autonomy over your clothes, binders, and haircuts. One day you'll have full freedom to discover who you are. It's hard, it's scary as anything, but you'll make it. Might I suggest finding ways to bring up trans people with your parents to gauge how accepting they might be? Something like "Hey, I found this video of a trans guy talking about how happy getting top surgery made him! What do you think? Isn't it sad how cruelly people treat trans people sometimes?" Their response will tell you a lot. Even if they are hostile to trans people, there's a lot of people in the same boat on the internet who you can talk to
My issue is it's mainly my face that makes me feel so feminine (I am non-binary), because that's my birth gender. And I can't get a binder
Yeah.... I use a tight sports bra but my chest is still there
Cool tips with the comments thing and transphobic people. Especially the hormone-problem excuse I find cool. For people in my school "knowing" me, or seeing me longer, I just educate and its a-ok.
Yeah but what about bodyshape hair, voice i cant change that and i cant pass
I love your eyes
Hey Noah! You're awesome! Are you Irish or American?
Hold up you are Dutch! I'm so dumb 😂
I have huge breasts and thighs though so I always look very feminine. How can I look gender neutral?
Hi! I'm non-binary I know you don't know me but I hope you accept and love me!
I love your accent
jae Woodbury Thank u ☺️
I don't have the money to get a binder:(
Same
You can get them free online on some websites if u do not have the money etc.
But remember: bind safely
problem ive run into: these big boxy shirts that im wearing right? you can see the straps of my tight af sports bra bc they're all racerback :/
What is his accent i love it soooo much
i think your a beautiful boy!😊😊😍
Is it possible to be non binary pan (romantic)
and ace
Yup
You are hella attractive! And I am non binary
You’re beautiful-
Kawaii_Entity you know every time I get a notif I'm scared someone is going to hate on my vids so this made me really happy 💛
Noah Hella aw Noah I really don’t know how anyone can hate on you. You’re amazing and actually quite helpful. Not to mention you’re adorable. I love your accent by the way 😅😅
Kawaii_Entity Thank you ❤️
i wish i didn’t have to dress a certain way to not be misgendered. i can’t even have a tiny backpack. 🧎i hate texas. i hope i can train my voice to be deeper to fuck with ppls minds 😋
Only just saw this video 😂 but heyy I'm non binary too 😝