Catastrophizing: How to Stop Making Yourself So Anxious
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- Опубліковано 3 чер 2024
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In this talk, we're going to take deeper look at catastrophizing. Catastrophizing is when you either expect the worst to happen, or when an undesirable outcome happens, you think it's the absolute worst. Getting caught by this distorted thinking pattern will leave you feeling anxious, stressed, and can even make you feel depressed or full of self doubt. Sounds lovely, doesn't it?
We're going to look more specifically at the two ways is shows up, and then go through the simple steps to overcome it so it can stop hijacking our mood, day or, in even our lives!
Take a moment now, and think about it - how do you think about upcoming events or situations that are uncertain? When you don't know how things are going to go? And another question, when things don't go the way you want, how do you think about it, and what do you make it mean?
When this thinking habit becomes part of our everyday life, it can hinder us from really living - so it's worth taking some time to work through this one.
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ABOUT JULIA:
Julia Kristina, MA, is a speaker, teacher, master therapist and mental wealth coach who helps smart, highly sensitive, heart centred humans get past anxiety, stress, and self-doubt so they can have better: Better relationships, a better life and feel better about themselves.
Through her membership program, The Shift Society, she helps people identify their deep rooted thoughts and beliefs that are keeping them stuck and struggling, and then teaches them how to take charge of their minds and emotions so they can thrive in all areas of their lives.
Julia’s expertise has been featured in Inc magazine, Psych Central, Mind Body Green and numerous other publications, podcasts and television outlets. She has also given talks in front of audiences of hundreds on stages across North America. Videos on her UA-cam channel have been watched more than 15 million times and she has built a community of over 375,000 people across social media platforms. When she’s not helping her clients and students increase their emotional intelligence and mental strength, she’s out on some kind of adventure with her three children in Vancouver, Canada.
Visit Julia Kristina's web site: juliakristina.com/
Your channel is such a safe space whenever I'm not feeling good. Thank you!
Love the ending of the video. You know, one of the hardest things in life is to forgive ourselves for mistakes... Especially when society literally beats us down for mistake making at every turn with stuff like school and religion.
it is to make us learn and do the right things, only the problem is we cause a lot of pain that way and it may actually make us succeed less. If we could teach without punishment, we'd be better off
I watched your videos every day and i've been watching you for years. Although I can't afford to be a member of the shift society. Your videos and your free content are some helpful thank you for doing that❤
This one, in particular at 55 years old makes me realize. I've been doing this my whole life. And I've been the one ruining my life. Grow up with a very Emotionally abusive parent. And the other parent was absent. So it's not a wonder I've been doing it to myself. I've been through therapy been told. I was catastrophizing many years ago, but no one ever put it the way you did, and really just made sense. Of red like two hundred books... Nothing is hit home i've done work books... Anyway this video just made it all make sense for me!!!😢 Now I can do something about it!!!
😔😭😃🤗🥰
Hi Julia Kristina, M.A. Psych! Senior Shifter Chris is here!
Your UA-cam video, Catastrophizing: How to Stop Making Yourself So Anxious is a good one!
This is something that I still struggle with not only when thinking about my own little person life, but my struggle is catastrophizing about world events. It can lead me to think like “Well, if the whole world is going to hell in a handbasket, why even bother trying...” Of course, that hasn’t been serving me very well. For one, I can’t control things that are out of my control so I might as well not worry about it. Also, I can do my part in living my life as safely as I can and if I want to at least try to make a difference in this world, I can start by just being a kind and caring person, build others up, guide others on this mind management work, volunteer somewhere or donate or join an organization. So, I do know there are options to at least try making the world a better place.
Here are my notes:
2 types of Catastrophizing are:
1. Things are going to go terribly
("Something bad is going to happen", or "Something is going to go wrong")
2. After something or situation took place, we make it mean something awful.
("I didn't get the raise; my boss must think I am an idiot." "This person isn't texting me back. They don't care or really love me.")
• Catastrophizing is assuming the worst about something that is going to happen in the future or making the outcome that isn't ideal, mean the worse or awful.
What Catastrophizing things can do:
• We tend to not take action or avoid situations that we are afraid is going to not give us the ideal outcome in order to feel safe so that if something does go wrong, it won't hurt as much. It won't be as hard.
• We think assuming the worst protects us from vulnerability if the worst does happen and anticipating and preparing ourselves for it.
• It can lead us to show up in a defensive or self-protected, or rejecting or rejected way that contributes to be that undesirable outcome.
• It could lead to self-fulfilling prophesy and self-sabotage.
• When we assume the worst, that often plays a part in the likelihood that the worst will happen.
• The lead up in that thing we are catastrophizing about feels awful in of itself.
• Catastrophizing can make us feel stress, anxiety and dread before experiencing things.
• Can create bigger problems for ourselves.
Here is what we can do:
• Noticed it, but don't judge yourself for having catastrophic thoughts.
• Don't have catastrophic thoughts about your catastrophic thinking.
• "I noticed that I am having catastrophic thoughts about…etc..and this is what I will do about it."
• Work on alternate thoughts (e.g. Instead of thinking just because someone didn't text me back, doesn't mean they don't care, it could be that they got busy or maybe got interrupted during mid-text and thought sent it or forgot to reply or thought they did.)
• When we assume better, usually better happens.
• Commit to learning from your outcomes
(E.g, if you didn't get a job, learn something from it, research, work on skills…etc..)
• Commit to accepting yourself no matter what.
Usually, it isn't the fear outcome we worry about the most, it is what we make it mean about ourselves if it happens.
• Try motivating yourself for what you want vs. what you don't want.
• Practice noticing your thoughts.
Thoughts are just thoughts and not always truths.
Catastrophizing is a horrible part of "distorted thinking". It seems like the end of the world is always imminent, that the sky is always falling...
I concur, well spoken, it does feel distorted
The good news is, so far it has not.
@@juliakristinamah cool. Que sera?! K Pasa?
Thank You. @@juliakristinamah
Thank you for this video, Julia. I suffer a bit from anxiety. Being disabled in a wheelchair I always feel nervous and anxious when I am in social situations. I fear being judged. I know most everyone has this feeling.
Thanks for being here. I can only imagine what it must be like to be visually deviating from the norm. I hope you don't get negatively judged by others and that you can work on being kind and loving toward yourself no matter what.
Someone judging you because you are in a wheelchair is none of their business. It is also a way to tell if they are someone who you want to be with.
I’m Kathy from Nebraska. I stumbled on you on Utube a few days ago. I’ve already feel better about things, I’ll keep listening. Thank you ❤
Not rejecting oneself is what I appreciated. That's hard for me because of the family I came from and the experiences I've had. I use a diary to write my thoughts.💚
I do both versions of this; I have bad anxiety. And I’m always thinking that I’m not good enough and everything I do is wrong.
Shifter here. Hi Julia! great video. Putting ourselves out there has its risks of being hurt in the process as you say it in this video, but its a strong way to be to risk it for the sake of making connections :) Im a work in progress myself.
as long as we agree that no matter what happens we will be okay, we always will be.
@@juliakristinamah Thank you for your reply Julia! I appreciate it :)
Thank you Julia，every time if there's something I can't figure out，I will call on your channel and always can find a solution to the problem.
Recently，every weekend，I will attend a reading club, and I feel be rejected every now and then, but from your wisdom, I know I just is catastrophizing，so I will try my best to work through this.
This came right in time for me. I do this often without even realizing it. It’s me trying to control and protect myself. I appreciate the tips on how to move past it. Thank you
You're so welcome. Glad you found this one helpful.
I really needed to hear this today thank you. I am working on obtaining my masters in clinical psychology next year to become a therapist too. You really inspire me!
I think that when my wife checks out another nice looking guy she will abandon me. I learned that i have abandonment issues from childhood. Im working on myself to overcome these issues. I know she loves me because i know i put her through alot of unnecessary stress. I will start journaling these thoughts to help overcome them.
This was really helpful. I struggle with this so much. Thank you for sharing on how to change this thinking pattern. Really appreciate it ❤
You're so welcome. Glad you're here.
You look so pretty, Julia! 🎀🎁💝💚
This is EXACTLY what I've been doing recently! Thank you so much for this... it's nice to know I'm not alone
Can’t express my gratitude in words. Thank you if I never got to say it to you in person which I am looking forward to say when I get enrolled in shifter society.
Description of catastrophizing is upto 15:10 seconds and tools to deal with it are afterwards.
Felt connected within couple of minutes of listening. Thank you again 🙏
When we don’t feel comfortable with change or struggle with changes, it is easy to fall into these thoughts and behaviors. The negative thoughts become a self fulfilling prophecy. I have had to ask myself what is the worst thing that can happen and the likelihood of it happening.
I'm new in your space. I'm feeling picked on right now. lol. I could relate to this very much.. oofff. Thank you for this video.
I really needed this video
Thank you! I needed this today!
Thanks
thank you so much i really needed this❤
Thank you so much for this message! I received test results from my doctor, and I’m already catastrophising the results before I go in and talk to him about it tomorrow!
What do you need to hear from yourself right now?
What happens when a person who thinks this way encounters a TRUE catastrophe? Flood, tornado, Maui-type fire, earthquake, invasion of hostile army, etc.? Does this make such a person tougher, or shut them down altogether?
I can be like this. I had a masectomy due to early stage breast cancer this year. My brother was murdered 9 years ago. I got talking to someone who made me realise something: I've had to learn to rely on myself. I am much more independent than most people because I've had to be, & this is why I caught the cancer very early & why I assume catastrophes: it's helped me to survive. Someone who does this is probably more likely to plan ahead for diaaster. For example, they are more likely to be a prepper & therefore will be in a better position to survive it than people who assume it'll never happen to them. I have wind up chargers & radios, torches & camping equipment, just in caee. I also buy more tinned food etc than I need. Do you?
JULIA, thanks so much for the awesome video. It’s always great to see and hear you. Have a wonderful day 🙏🌈🌞 !!!
Thanks for being here - and you too!
Thank you so much Julia sweetie ❤❤😊😊
This was absolutely brilliant! It resonated with me so much, your examples, definitely how I react, and your alternative thinking is hopefully going to make a huge difference for me. I can't thank you enough X
We do manifest what we fear .
I can totally relate to this, I’m downloading the exercise, thank you 😊
That's great - let me know how you like it.
That’s me 100%
Hi Julia, your video has been so useful - thank you. I’m currently in this situation, catastrophising that an outcome that I so badly want to happen will not happen and that I’ll end up feeling terrible later on. What I don’t understand in my case is that despite a vast majority of the outcomes in my life having worked out exactly the way that I wanted to in the past (touchwood; and it’s funny because I was worrying and catastrophising excessively before those events happened), I still end up worrying like this with every new situation/uncertainty? Do you know why this might be? Thank you 😊
OMG this is Me!!!!!
What was one of your takeaways from this talk, Michelle?
i trust my gut feelings and my senses tell me right away if im with the wrong people.
What do you do if those negative thoughts are true? Especially in the work arena?
Ask yourself "how do I want to respond to this situation?" At the same time, give yourself compassion for what you are going through like "this is challenging for me right now. Challenges are part of life."
@@lesliengo8347 Thank you! That's the best advice I've ever gotten from a stranger online.
Hi Julia, how can I expect the best whithout creating great expectations? Thanks
What if you committed to loving and accepting yourself no matter what - then there would be no problem with having greatest of great expectations.
Only with situations I care about.
I think forget that other people have lots going on and we aren't being neglected. I know that I got upset with my son for not texting me back right away. When I questioned him about it, he said he was out driving and what was he supposed to do? Then I felt foolish. I need to remind myself that I am the centre of the universe. Lol
might want to double check that last sentence lol
I just said it ten times fast,I swear
At a place where I'm to scared to even fall asleep, not knowing if Im gonna be waking up tomorrow. 😖😵💫🤦🏼♂️
Hugs. Wishing that you find someone to talk to and hoping you feel better soon.
There is another possibility here. Maybe Sarah doesn't feel comfortable with those friends because they're not the right friends for her. Maybe she was right: maybe they genuinely are just pretending to be her friend. It happens. If they were genuine, they would try & re plan something to include her in the future. They would also have followed up to see if she was okay. You've only given us half the story tbh.
Every single complex system humanunkind NEEDS, is dying right before our eyes. NOTHING you can do with methodology intended for neurotic actions can help at all. Psych IS good if you hate your boss, because your Dad was problematic.. it's victim blaming in the face of our very real Predicament. Not cool.
Mines is learning to drive. I tend to catastrophize having an accident because I didn't shoulder check, forgot to stop at a stop sign, didn't brake in time, dazing out, etc. I think the best action for me is to remind myself I came home safely. The biggest mistake I made is not knowing if I should turn left on a yellow light. I also remind myself I have alternate options like transit if driving is too daunting 😱🚙🚎🚦