Hello, I am the author of this piece and I wanted to thank illneas so much for creating this rendition! I'm truly grateful for his collaboration and support! I wrote this piece several years ago as someone who was suicidal and enduring a severe trauma. I'm continually humbled by the outpouring of support it has received. I posted it on my blog after I wrote it and never expected it to go viral. This piece was a letter to myself as a suicidal person, and so it may not resonate with everyone. I wrote it to myself and it was what I needed to hear at the time. Sending love to everyone who is currently or has been struggling to the point of considering suicide. I am thinking of you and wishing you the best across the world in the U.S. Have a wonderful day, everyone! Thank you again!
@@arakoz don't please don't, you have loved ones though you don't see it right now, please don't you are not alone I promise you that. My daughter has tried multiple times without me knowing I promise you now that I know her pain and illness their is help I promise you like my daughter you are not alone
Stay for bts💗💜 I don't how you are now But please stay for your future Please stay for namjoon, seokjin, min yoongi, hobi, jungkook, jimin, taehyung I love you
yeah i saved a quote similar to this on a notepad. brb- * ahem * ... hold on i have multiple quotes for s**cîde, please listen :') "i don't want to die, i just don't want to live like this, because this is _just staying alive_ and i hate it." - "don't think that life is over when you haven't even felt ALIVE yet" - "do not do something permanent over something temporary. you'll regret it" - "every star must see darkness before the light" and my favourite one:
that’s the whole problem, you often can’t see how beautiful everything is when you’re depressed. it takes something like this happening for you to realize
Yup i know its hard to see the sun while its raining and when the complete sky is covered with clouds but it takes 1 unit just 1 unit to know that the sun is hidden in those clouds,that its these days that has hidden happiness I know its very easy to say bt very hard to take your heavy heart out there and hope at worst bt at that time that's all we could do hope,And prove our hopes through actions,place changing,sometimes sharing with unknown if known dont value u But for that u have to get out the 1st step The 1st step is alwz hardest i know bt when u get down in to up u never really realize and journey to better tomorrow beguns Just a little help I too suffered i know its very hard bt...its the only thing u can do
I'm not gonna say you matter cause in reality? You aren't gonna believe that. All I can say is to keep on doing simple things to care for yourself. Talk with someone. Someone loves you. Or many someones. You might not think you matter, but you do to them. As I said, do the simple things. Get out of bed. Make food and eat it. Talk to a loved one or make a friend...you'd be surprised at how easily you can find one. To love others, you gotta take care of yourself first. I have no experience, but this might help. We all support you here.
My little Sister hung herself and was one of the lucky ones because she was cut down and after months of rehabilitation to get her organs working properly again and get the yellowness from her skin, she sat with me and told me that the moment she was dying was the moment that she had never wanted to live more in her life, she tells me about the petals in the flowers being brighter than ever and the sounds of her environment are so amplified, the love she feels for her family and herself. xxx
I just want to hug the child in me that is suffering so much. The child that misses mama. That wants to grow pumpkins with grandma again. That wants to feel the embrace of papa's strong arms. The person I used to be who saw the world in such a beautiful light.
I want to offer that child a hug too. That part will always live on in us & even when it is hard, we have to learn to parent that part of ourselves in order to feel whole
@@Lely2.0 We all have inner children that need tending to, no matter what age we are. When we shut it down & focus solely on others & their needs, we violate & ignore that child & it creates so much of the depression & numbness that is prevalent in our society
@@veela1324 I just want to say that I find you to be a wonderful and beautiful person inside and out. Your words brought tears to my eyes and I can't thank you enough for it. Me, and the inner child would love to give you the warmest and most thankful hug we possibly could. I'm understanding that what I miss as a child can come back, but in ways I wouldn't imagine. Maybe the reason I was born at all is to move on and grow my own pumpkins, give someone the strong and warm embrace I miss so much, and maybe one day I won't miss it at all; but smile while doing it for someone else
@@DarthYall no you are brave enough to stay in this world in this cruel society full of judgement and the for me the definition of cowardice is to run away from your own problems stay strong it'll gonna be okay🖤😊
I hate that everyone calls suicide cowardice. They call it running away from a life that you weren't brave enough to face. I appreciate that this quote doesn't say that directly
usually when they look suddenly happier, it's a sign that they will unalive themselves SOON. their 'happiness' is their peace at knowing their mind is made up and that they're about to do it. source: search it up online. it's a well known phenomenon. if they look happier, THEY DID NOT GET BETTER. THEY NEED HELP MORE THAN EVER
So true. I tried to kill myself last week on Monday. I was so tired. The day after however I could feel something had changed a lot. Now I realize it's that I fell in love with life again. I started looking for a job, started looking for what I wanted to do in life. Started making actual changes. It's really hard but I don't want to die I just don't want to think like this anymore
The only way to receive true happiness is to be born again.Jesus loves you and is coming back to earth soon.You need to repent.Please believe and spread the word...
@@Godblessed2 I have tried to hang myself and It was the worst thing one can imagine. I didn't make the upper knot right so I fell and lived but I could have died that day and never experienced the beauty of my surroundings. I'm 14 and still suicidal sadly but at least I didn't try it since so maybe I'll get better
@@SCP_with_a_stolen_phone_hehe Please don't ever think about it again! Your life is going to change in so many beautiful ways! You just have to fight hard on the days the demon whispers in your ear, tell him to F-off, you're going to have a wonderful life! Love & Light to You ❤️
@@Godblessed2 I watched a documentary on jumpers of the Golden Gate bridge, San Francisco, they interviewed the a survivor and he said... “the minute I let go, I wished I hadn't”. It's amazing, I don't know how he survived!
@@bealis7 That’s the point of it. It does say that...you just have to follow each of the examples of falling in love with life, given by the author, to that conclusion. It hit me deeper that way, because I had to figure it out. Btw, I love your screen name. I think it just sort of capsulizes how I feel about taking time to do anything on here LOL.
Today, something bad happened. A friend called me. I was listening to him and suddenly he told me that he wants to end his life. He is just a 18 year old boy. But his parents sent him to a relative's house. They didn't even allow him to keep a smart phone. He doesn't know me for ages. Nor he talks to me so much. But today, he talked to me 29 minutes and I didn't cut the call until he wanted to do so. I tried to motivate him in so many ways. I told him to talk to teachers. He told me he tried to talk to his parents but it was fruitless. He feels so lonely and tortured. He once forbade me to call him as his relative picks the phone and scolds him. So, I have nothing to do than to pray. Please pray for him. He shouldn't take any wrong decision. And I cannot in person meet him too because he changed his city recently. may he finds support.
@@effiet9344 I wouldn't say that it's a psychic state of depression - it's more like finding comfort in the sadness in an often somehow artistic way. That's the strange thing about it, because some people "can't" experience raw happiness without this little hint of melancholia in it - it can be drowning but also enjoyable. U don't have to be depressed to know how melancholia feels like.
I read a really interesting piece recently. It was titled “why do people jump” and showed a famous picture of a man jumping off a building. The article went on to say that what if in this photo we could see the building was on fire and the pain of burning was greater then jumping. Just because we can’t see the fire doesn’t mean it’s not there. No one wants to jump or die but The fire that’s been burning in their mind for so long is so powerful and painful that jumping is the less painful option. It summed up depression and suicidal thoughts really clearly for me so just wanted to share
Last year my 16yr old Grand-daughter took a paracetamol over dose with half a bottle of Vodka just before her GCSE exam…she fortunately told a friend what she’d done because she didn’t like the way her body was feeling and was scared. Her friend told a teacher and she was taken to hospital. She took 18 tablets and was monitored for 48hrs. She survived. 12 months later, she has just completed her first year at college. She remembered the anniversary and reminded me. I asked if she was glad she survived..her reply was “Nanna, I never thought I’d be happy, have friends and fit in”…🥰
@@InternationalCurls you don't need to do something about it, you need to learn why it happens. A bird cannot teach a squirrel to fly. The squirrel must learn who he is and why he is there.
I don't think this is accurate. A lot of suicidal people think they are doing their loved ones a favor by ridding themselves. That low self-esteem and little value some people put in themselves I think is the more common occurrence
When I want to stop existing, I feel it’s because I’m tired of living. I always remember later, it’s not life I hate, it’s the mask I’m wearing. I wish to be free, not dead.
Wearing a mask is all I have ever done until very recently. By wearing a mask I never attracted truly kind and like minded people. But the narcissists saw through my mask and saw how vulnerable I really was. I had no problem attracting them and they were all I had.
@@lynnlavy2992 I don't think any mask you can wear is going to be effective hiding your true self. Maybe take it out, and good people will come to you. They are rare, but they exist
I find that I tell myself I’m wearing a mask rather than wearing one. It think helps with my deep self hatred if I tell my self that all the actions I do are not “my own” and “it’s my mask” it helps me distance my brain and my actual self. I can’t escape it now it’s become so natural to me. I just want to love myself again love the things I say and do and not say that it’s a “mask” or “not me” I don’t even know who me is. Well this is a UA-cam comment that no one will ever find so lol.
@@virginiacollins I understand. I find it easier to be mask free when I’m meeting someone for the first time (they don’t have an expectation of me yet) or after I’ve slowly built trust with someone and see they’re the kind of person who accepts everyone. It use to feel like I had a control station in my head and I was evaluating which response would make someone like me more/etc. Now I try to do/say the first thing that pops in my head. Jordan Peterson and Thais Gibson videos on UA-cam helped me understand myself. I believe you can live the life you deserve 💖
Yeah, I dunno. Maybe I'm weird, but this sort of slow-paced sappy shit doesn't really do much for me. Still just boils down to the same tired 'look at the bright side', 'you don't know what you had till it's gone' cliches.
yeah bcoz that's actually made by a suicidal person, not a group of ppl ordered to finish a project. the government doesn't understand that if you want to make someone to listen to you is to listen to them first. to understand how they are feeling. they think that with a plain "do not kill yourself." they finished the deal. it's not that simple and it will never be...
I know exactly how you feel and I am so so sorry. Things do get better and you just have to look for the little things. Start collecting rocks, or start baking. Start going on walks or texting your friends. Things will get better and I wish the absolute best for you
Well put. So many people try to fight this monster. It is exhausting and soul crushing. Gratitude and positivity is not nearly enough when our brains our chemically lacking or not functioning as they should.
I hear you, for quit a while a struggled with a depression on somedays I was able to see the beauty and the good but on most I just felt overwhelmed with a sense of darkness. Everything felt meaningless and it felt like my soul had already died while my body was still forced to life out the days. I struggled with suicidal thoughts. I would really recommend watching this video below: ua-cam.com/video/fSvKVWs6zGc/v-deo.html I don’t what is going on in your head or in your life just know that Jesus loves you and ending your life is not the only way to end the pain. I struggled with a depression and getting through the day often seemed impossible but Jesus got me out that place. Just know that ending your life is not the only way to end the pain or frustration. I hope you see this and look at the video. The Bible app also has great Bible plans on depression that helped me out a lot. I hope and pray that you will find inner peace. It will get better even if that seems impossible. I will definitely be praying for you and know that I am rooting for you :) I really believe that there will come a day when you are no longer trying to survive the day but exactly be capable of being present and enjoy it. But for now please hold on. It will get better even if that seems impossible. “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.” Jeremiah 29:11-13 NLT www.bible.com/116/jer.29.11-13.nlt
@@lynnlavy2992 I hear you, for quit a while a struggled with a depression on somedays I was able to see the beauty and the good but on most I just felt overwhelmed with a sense of darkness. Everything felt meaningless and it felt like my soul had already died while my body was still forced to life out the days. I struggled with suicidal thoughts. I would really recommend watching this video below: ua-cam.com/video/fSvKVWs6zGc/v-deo.html I don’t what is going on in your head or in your life just know that Jesus loves you and ending your life is not the only way to end the pain. I struggled with a depression and getting through the day often seemed impossible but Jesus got me out that place. Just know that ending your life is not the only way to end the pain or frustration. I hope you see this and look at the video. The Bible app also has great Bible plans on depression that helped me out a lot. I hope and pray that you will find inner peace. It will get better even if that seems impossible. I will definitely be praying for you and know that I am rooting for you :) I really believe that there will come a day when you are no longer trying to survive the day but exactly be capable of being present and enjoy it. But for now please hold on. It will get better even if that seems impossible. If you are able please try to find help. Talk to people and try to continue to fight. You are worth fighting for. “Don’t be afraid of them because the LORD your God is the one who will be fighting for you.” Deuteronomy 3:22 CEB www.bible.com/37/deu.3.22.ceb “But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31 NLT www.bible.com/116/isa.40.31.nlt
@@loisreugebrink4968 You are precious and thank you so very much. I will watch the video and I will work on feeling better. I think I have found a home and my people in this channel. I have always hidden the pain and I look forward to more help and less judgement for future generations. Thank you again, and I wish you blessings, good health, safety, and God's love.
It would help if people were kinder to each other. Some people have no idea they’re actions could effect someone’s mental health. It’s amazing what kindness can do to someone struggling with trying to stay alive..
I dont see how It would save anyone. People who commit suicide cannot defend themselves so people think they are idiots. After you kill yourself there will not be a morning after and also there will be no more pain for what brought you to the point of commiting suicide. I still stand as a depressive suicidal who struggles everyday. And I find this video offensive. It takes down a lot from what is a decision and not an impulse.
@@M1guel7Dias I can see where you are coming from as I too am depressed. I have been for a year. I have tried so hard but nothing works. However for me I find this beautiful. I interpret it as a reminder of the good in our lives whether we see it or not. The most mundane things can sometimes be the most special things. It describes where she grew up and the people around her that love her. It's so easy to look past these things when there is so much stress, anxiety, and sadness in ones life. So for me, this was a good reminder to keep fighting. And that even through this living hell, there are still things out there that are good.
Damn time really does fly.. I was 15 when I watched this video for the first time.. I was hella depressed I used to have a really bad social anxiety too still do but I’m much better now.. I’m 18 now.. i actually love life now.. please never give up.. I really understand you and I love you ❤
I am 17, Thank you for your kind words I guess I really needed that because I also have very bad social anxiety and have been dealing with problems lately and since the past few weeks it has been so much worse. It feels so much better and refreshing when you have somebody to talk to. But I guess this is the way life teaches us. May your dreams inspire and guide you to great achievements. Good luck.
@@kathymatamoros4963 It was deep for me as my brother was the one who witnessed my attempt at suicide and since then he was always sticking by my side wherever I go.
I came really close to hanging myself in a tree. As I sat there on the branch 2 little girls ran by below me. I could not go through with it then for the fear of them finding me. I climbed down looked around and there was no sign of them. To this day I call them my little angels.I thank you so much for this.
The only way to receive true happiness is to be born again.Jesus loves you and is coming back to earth soon.You need to repent.Please believe and spread the word...
I feel so emotionally connected to this. I tried to kill myself once. The thing that stopped me was myself and I knew this was wrong how much I would miss and not see. Then my dog came in the room I saw how his expression changed and how his tail stopped wagging, I untied the rope from my neck and he immediately went to comfort me. None of my family knows I did it. Only one saw that day. And he's the reason I'm still here.
That’s literally the Christian message in a nutshell. When you realize that you’ve already died to yourself - the second death becomes an illusion... then you render yourself unstoppable.
"i saw the empty space in her eyes when she reached a stick and turned around to greet me, so we could play catch, but saw nothing, but sky in my place" im sobbing
I'm sorry that I have ever thought of killing myself...😭 I just want to know that someone REALLY loves me and REALLY understands me, not leaving me after two months :( Am I born in the wrong time line? I'm trans in the fucking Poland section, and also disabled (schizophrenia and spectrum of autism). Every time I try reach out and talk to people, they don't have time or courage to explain me :"what I'm doing wrong in the terms of social norms?" and even they tell me, this is the signal mostly about " gtfo, we don't want you here!" It is that much that I want decent job so I can have stable Internet connection, food and soap? That I want "to have" (loved one isn't my property, is single human) love one?
This reminds me of a story I once heard about a man who regretted his suicide attempt the moment he jumped off a bridge. As he was falling, he realized all the things he would miss - the warmth of the sun, the laughter of his children, the taste of his favorite food. It's a tragic reminder to appreciate the beauty of life, even in the midst of pain.
It’ll be three years since my last attempt on the 28th of this month. I’m starting grad school soon, getting married, all that.... I never thought I’d make it this far. But I am so grateful I did.
in a week it will be one year since my first attempt and i’m just going downhill towards it. i’m so proud of you for making it this far, you can do this ❤️
There’s this video I really like of a guy who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge and survived. He said that as soon as he let go off the cable and jumped, he realized he had made the biggest mistake of his life and in a matter of seconds all his life problems suddenly seemed solvable and not so unbearable as he once thought they were. Then all he could think about while the water was getting closer and closer was “I don’t wanna die”. Fortunately he did survive to pass his story on. As a suicide attempt survivor, I feel profoundly touched by his words. Once we get to see death that close, it makes us not want to go near it ever again. We’re living in atypical circumstances lately, but remember to check on your loved ones during this quarantine. We might make more difference in people’s lives than we think we do. And above all: take care of yourself. Sending much love to y’all! Stay safe!
Gotta say that's a very personal opinion that doesn't apply to all because I'm also a survivor of attempted suicide and did attempt many times after having been "that close to death". That didn't change it for me at the time. Mine was related to PTSD, and I stopped attempting two months post-trauma, which was over 3 and a half years ago, but perhaps maybe that sentiment is more common with other causes of suicidality or maybe it was just different for me; I don't know.
@@natalieedelstein Yes, I agree! Mine was related to depression, something I have already recovered from through the use of medication and psychotherapy. Didn’t mean to generalize it, for sure we all have different perceptions and experiences. Don’t know how you’ve been after all this time, but I sincerely hope you’re doing better! Wishing you well! ❤️
Or as the writers of BoJack Horseman put it: The weak breeze whispers nothing The water screams sublime His feet shift, teeter-totter Deep breath, stand back, it’s time Toes untouch the overpass Soon he’s water bound Eyes locked shut but peek to see The view from halfway down A little wind, a summer sun A river rich and regal A flood of fond endorphins Brings a calm that knows no equal You’re flying now You see things much more clear than from the ground It’s all okay, it would be Were you not now halfway down Thrash to break from gravity What now could slow the drop All I’d give for toes to touch The safety back at top But this is it, the deed is done Silence drowns the sound Before I leaped I should’ve seen The view from halfway down I really should’ve thought about The view from halfway down I wish I could’ve known about The view from halfway down
I was 12 when I first tried to hurt myself. I still have a scar in my left leg. When I was 14 I grabbed a knife on the kitchen table, went to the yard, and held the knife up to my heart. Right then I got a text. It was someone I loved. She started talking about her day, and everything she did. She told me that she loved me, and that she would be around forever. I didn’t even talk with her. I just looked at the messages, and the knife fell out of my hand. I’m now 16 and there’s not a day that goes by that I’m not grateful for that person.
If suicide or death is only option left think again on reverse way . Love yourself first . None worthy of your love even family they hurts much than others sometimes you will get a position where you will find you are living alone in full world but thats time to be yourself . Kick out anything that give you thought of suicide live life happily with yourself .
Sweetie, wherever you are, whoever you are, just know that I love you. It would make me so happy if you live a healthy and peaceful life. Don't be hard on yourself. Bad days are a part of us but there is always a reason to hold on.
@Gemmariah Beadle I felt your comment. Listen, you know youre not alone. My uncle beat cancer this Feb and he was fighting it for two years. And sometimes even I feel so shitty but it all assembles when i think how bad days make us appreciate the good ones. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There are millions of people like you and I. Dont give up because there are people who NEED you. And feel free to text me anytime. PLEASE.💜
@Gemmariah Beadle Jesus loves you precious, call upon His name, accept Him as your saviour, with repentance and forgivness. He has a beautiful place for you where there is no more pain or sadness and there it is over flowing with love for you. He is the love of your life. Blessings to you, my prayers are for you. Much love.
i heard about a man who jumped off the golden gate bridge and survived. he regretted jumping the second he did, as he was falling down. he was lucky enough to survive, but i keep wondering how many of the ppl who died felt the same way he did. it rlly stuck with me. i think most of us just want relief from the pain, we feel like we wanna die but if we werent in pain we would still wanna be here. i believe in us, i believe in you reading this. you got this and im proud of you for fighting
@@hdajq892ey7 i know that feeling.. please stay. i know how real it feels, but there is always, always someone whos happy to have you here, even if they dont say it. i dont even know you but im happy youre here. you gone from this world is never going to be a good thing, you would be missed. theres only one you, which means you bring something into this world even tho you dont know it, and not in a negative way. just by your comment i can tell youre a good person, you think about others, but this wouldnt make people happy. please hold on, you got this. youre gonna meet ppl who make you feel as loved and special as you are. one day at a time alright? im proud of you, and im so happy youre still here
I've felt suicidal so many times lately. There's a voice inside my head saying all the time "why don't you die? Why?" and this poem was like a punch in the face. I should be more grateful. I really should.
Please, find professional help. Try new things, remember everyday that the world around you is beautiful, but this beauty is somehow linked to your presence. Your life is worth living.
I struggled for years too, sometimes it still comes back.. I'm rooting for your staying. Some days can be wonderful and living is a beautiful thing that's full of possibilities. Give it a chance, allow yourself to experience the occasional beauty in the everyday, and if you believe in one, maybe pray to a higher being sometimes. The voices will go away someday, I promise. Much love.
“I saw the empty space in her eyes when she reached a stick and turned around to greet me, but saw nothing, but sky in my place.” I almost hung myself one evening. I was about to step off the stool when my dog yelped at the door. She tried to get in, she didn’t know I wasn’t going to be there after. I couldn’t bare to leave my first dog I’ve ever had, alone. I stepped down and opened the door. 6yrs ago. My dog is 7 now.
if you need help go talk to your Friends, family and people you trust, life can be great and will get even better after the pandemic ends so do not waste it and life have a lot of good experiences and memories that are gonna make you think it was all worth it, a lot of people who tried to end their lives remember that they changed their mind and are happy to be alive, if necessary search for help in the internet and if you can afford it call a therapist "ending your life is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" also do not be shy to call for help...
I gave my self one month this month to find a reason to keep living if I could I'd kill my self in January... I think I just found my reason keep living because there will be so many thinks I'd miss. I would see my little sister grow up I wouldn't meet someone that would love me I wouldn't get that dog I want next year. This video found me in just the right time were having to put down my sister's dog in 2 days. I hope the future is better
@@alexjames9948 those are very good reasons, and maybe those you just mentioned wouldn't have you, the person out there who would love you couldn't, nor could the dog even though they are better at it than anyone, and then your sister wouldn't have a sister anymore. This isn't something to make you feel guilty, it's just that it's a huge loss of possibilities, and it's on both sides. I don't really understand life all that well, and I'm honestly not all that good at it but do know one thing and that is it always changes in one way or another. Sometimes it gets better but if you aren't here to experience that then it can't.
My sister took her life last year. She was only 27 years old. And the greatest sister I could ever have wished for. I wonder if this is what she felt, thought, the day after? Thanks for this video. It really hit home. I miss her so much
I’m so sorry for your lost. I to lost my beautiful sister to suicide. Not a day goes by where I don’t miss her. It’s true life goes on for the living but it’s never the same. Xxxx
I wouldn't say I'm suicidal but everyday I've been have these thoughts of what if i kill myself, or I would simply say ''I rather be dead'' idk I've been feeling really useless lately. Here I am crying to this wow
i have the same thing, ive felt so unmotivated and incompetent. sometimes i wonder if it’s worth it, but i know that one day i’ll be grateful for keeping on going. so will you, i promise. we’re gonna make it through this year, whoever you are
You are not useless! You are a product of a world that only shows value in what they deem useful. The world would shine less without you. The sky would darken and tinge grey and the clouds would cry at the loss of such a beautiful human being.
Yeah, I know right... And I don't have any sucidle behaviour but this comment section is making me cry with the tears of happiness... Because it's to supportive... 🥺😭
Only if people said something nice to me before ending it. I hope you all can hold on. Don't give up like me. I'm a coward, trying to run away. It's better this way really. Maybe nobody will read this, but if you are, hold on. I quit.
@@sraddha_loves_bangtan don't do that... Hold on... You couldn't do that bro... I don't know you and I don't know your problem but please hold on more... You couldn't give up... Like this... Everything will get better just hold on bro.... Please man... Please...........
this is honestly what schools should show for suicidal awarness month cuz the corny lil "you are not alone." poems are kinda getting reptitive at this point.
I know. Like, I know I'm not alone, but the fact that so many people make such a big deal out of something the second that you say the smallest thing makes me want to hide again
The fact that I saw this after an attempt makes me believe its a sign to stay Edit: thanks guys for your kind words. I'm doing much better now and I'm focusing on my mental health more. Everytime I see a notification about a comment, it honestly makes my day. Yall have been helping me so much when it comes to feeling like I matter. Thank you to everyone. I love you all so much ❤ Edit2: Just wanted to give you guys an update. I'm a soon-to-be-mother now! Not only has this community and this message helped me but you all have helped me get to a point in my life where I'm happy just being alive. I have a permanent reason to stay here soon lol. Whoever is reading this just know it's hard as hell and it never stops but man does it get so much easier when you fight to keep going. No matter the situation you're in it's never the end of the world or the end of you. Plus I need tons of aunties and uncles (i cant find a nonbinary term but yall are also included!!) for this baby and you're one of them now!
Love you, someone is always here for you. Even if it doesnt always seem like it. The world can be so lonely but someone will always miss you, even if its not the people you expect. Thank you for staying ♥️
This hit a nerve with me. I'm in silent tears for the girlfriend I lost. Sarah, who, through the shame of a sexual smear campaign against her, took her own life by hanging, when we were at college 21 years ago. She became heavily depressed. The night she died I'd walked her home, where she'd kissed me deeply, which I'd later realise was a goodbye. She hanged herself while everyone was asleep, wracked by shame and guilt. I miss her so so much. The beautiful alternative girl with green hair and blue eyes, the sparkle of which I would never see again. I love you, Sarah. Always and forever. Please, please guys, never bully or smear someone. It can leave deep wounds that never recover. Smear campaigns and bullying ruin lives. Her poor mother had to find her own daughter hanged. I as her boyfriend still miss her terribly. I will never replace her. RIP Sarah Morgan - 10 March 1985 - 4th September 2000
15 yo and after 20 years shared, cherished and not forgotten. I hope she is in a happier place now and she is most likely always with you. Maybe not just in your heart 💖 but right next to you. I wonder what her final thoughts were, you will never know but im sure it involved you
When I was a teenager, I used to walk my dog along a lake and every time I did I thought about just walking into the water and drowning myself. Only thing stopping me was my beloved dog. Now, over a decade later I am thankful that I didn't do it. Even though since then, life has never felt the same, always a bit dull? But still, I do find joy in many things in life and want to continue living. Maybe my life is a bit more gray-tinged than it's supposed to be, but it is still a life worth living. Thank you for this beautiful and touching video ❤
Please don't think about it . everything has a solution .just imagine people who have cancer of mortal illness ,they wish to have an extra day .count the things you are greatful for .it could be sight ,waking up every day with ability to see .people who loves us a lot of things ...just take a deep look .
I know it's hard, it's so damn hard, but please don't do it. I swear, someday you are going to leave this black hole. You will see light again, you will feel the rays of sunshine on your skin again, you'll feel the warmth in your heart again. I know life can be shit sometimes, or even more, but I swear the most wonderful thing in life is going to be the moment you'll be laughing, enjoying your life to the fullest and then the sudden realization hitting you that this is the moment you stayed alive for. This is the moment you waited for.
I’m glad you shared your feelings with us. Keep hanging in there. I know what it’s like and that’s why I found this video too. But what I also learned from a job I did for a long time was people need people like us to tell our stories so they can tell theirs. They need to hear they are normal. They need the kindness you can give them because you get it what it feels like to hurt. So don’t take that gift away from the world. Stay.
My heart hurts for you. No matter what you my feel or hear or whatever, you are beautiful and of great worth just as you were. One thing I wanted to tell my brother who died by suicide I will tell you now: it doesn't matter worth a damn to me if you're a "productive" human being or achieve a lot or whatever shit can define peoples' worth -- I care about you and your wellbeing simply because you are YOU. You're the youest of yous, and you cannot be replaced. You are wonderfully made -- intricately designed and perfectly loved. My hearts breaks for the pain you suffer, and I pray you experience healing and hope and even joy 💛
@@rattoota That's great, that's something. If no one told you today, I love you. Please don't give up, it in some ways, definitely gets better. Do the best you can do even if it's minimum. Surviving is hard too. Wishing you happy days and hope. Love, A stranger who cares just like your cat does:)
My mother committed suicide, and left these words in her poetry towards the end, and the family used it on her grave stone; “When we stop, the world goes on without us. This is eternity. This is joy. “ - It was her message to say that the true sense of peace is that we know the world will go on even if we are not here in it, that others will go on to remember us. Edit; I just wanted to come back to this comment and say thank you so much for all of the likes and all of the positive responses. Although I have for a long time come to terms with my own grief, I hope that these words in my experience can bring hope to others who have lived as a survivor. Bless
Commenting now because its been sometime since ive recovered myself. I lost my uncle, then my brother 2 years ago. I felt broken already but it had felt too much. It wasnt long after when i would just lay down after work and stare at the ceiling depressed that i had come across this video. It tore at me because of how much my own thoughts that kept me from doing something terrible aligned with the words from this video. It helped me push myself to move forward and actually live. If you're struggling in life, things will get better eventually, but lying around and doing nothing won't be the cause of it. Never do something that is impossible to take back.
It really is. I’ve been contemplating suicide for the last year and this gutted me. Made me see things in a very different way. Forced me to really think about what my children & parents would feel or possibly go through. Cried the whole way through.
@@Gracem2013 I’m glad you’re here. I’ve been in this position before- some suggestions, sit down with yourself in a peaceful setting and just have a moment to think about your feelings. Even crying is a good option. Remember- you’re loved, you matter, and it’s okay to have emotions.
A few years ago I was suicidal, and I Video called my parents. I didn’t expect to tell them how I felt, i never wanted them to know, I just wanted to talk to them. But eventually it came out: how I hated my job, how I hated myself, how I was being bullied and ignored, how absolutely alone I felt. I said “some days I actually contemplate killing myself.” The look on their face made me immediately regret feeling that way. They looked terrified. Truly scared for me. Their fear scared me, I realized how broken they’d be if I left the world. No parent should have to bury their child. I’ve never even thought about suicide since.
@@sophieramati Hey, it's okay. Even if I know nothing about you, they care about you. Even if this is said to everyone who's parent don't love them, it's true. They love you, and they don't want anything wrong to happen to you. They might not understand what you're going through, but you change the world for good just by being here. You're not alone in this world, but someday, I'm hopeful that they'll realize how to help you and make you feel better. I hope you do.
“no parent should have to bury their child”. it’s so simple but that one line just goes round my head every time it crosses my mind. it doesn’t always stop me but gives me guilt.
@@sophieramati hey! I know you don't know me and I dont know you, but please know that there is ALWAYS someone who loves you. There is always someone who's life is worse without you in it. No matter who you are, you have just as much potential as anyone else to do something in someone's life. You are so much more valuable and important than you'll ever know. So just do your best. Stay strong. I know you probably hear that a lot but just allow yourself to be sad, then learn and grow from it. You got this❤🙏🏼
@@sophieramati my parents reacts the same way but they add a bit more of insults and slapping but deep down i know they care alot about me and that they probably are in denial and don't know how to act and they probably are blaming and questioning themselves what went wrong. That itself gave me a reason to stay.
I can relate to this. This Friday I spilled my thoughts to my mom and her face of fear and grief will always remain with me and be a reminder that she doesn’t want to have bury me
Sometimes, I think of attempts but never actually make one, for more than a year ago until now. I even make a joke, for myself, that it’d be “interesting” to see people I know cry in my funeral. I also think of self-harm and find it an “exciting” way to understand depressed people a little bit. But it’d be annoying if someone find out so I still didn’t it. However, I seriously think, I realize, no I admit, that deep down, I’m always aware of my cruelty. Because if I suicide, it means I betray my own life, betray my parents, my friends (I wonder if they consider me a friend too). Unlike others, I don’t get top scores but I don’t even try either. I know I can do better but I’m always tired of making a single effort and I hate that attitude of mine. My parents hardly ask me to get an excellent mark, they just support me to try harder. This hits me hard. Because I don’t bother to give them a “gift”, regardless physically or spiritually, as a thanks but just a heavy burden that is me. So what can I do? If I’m dead, they’ll feel sad (won’t they); but if I’m alive, they can’t relax either. I should’ve not been born from the very beginning. That’s why I’m different from suicidal people. They’re victim of life itself while I am a selfish weirdo. You see, even bad guy like me isn’t dead yet then why should you? Remember, you tried for your entire life to be alive, you deserve the best and don’t call yourself worthless. I hope y’all will see the beauty of the world soon. Good luck!
I wish you luck too friend. It's tough to live, and you are not selfish for feeling the way you do. The brain is so complex, sometimes it, like people, makes mistakes.
@@serendipity6726 we can only hope, but sometimes for some people suicide can give them peace. It would be wrong to tell them to stick around for something that pains then and that committing suicide is bad
And that just broke my heart how our own parents don’t understand us , they act like we are the one who is creating all this thoughts just to gain attention
@@Hp15023 My mother yelled at me when I told her how I was feeling. Albeit, I told her at the wrong time, when she was already upset with me for losing my stupid invisilign which I hated. But still, it reminds me of how even she won't care.
It isn't the feeling of wanting to be dead, it's the feeling of not wanting to carry the burden of the pain anymore, knowing that this plane of existence isn't my home, knowing I did the best with what I was given, I played the hand I was given. Yet to everyone that mattered I was never enough
I don't know you, but you're enough to me and I love you because you're a fellow human being just trying to survive. One of these days you'll not only survive, but thrive.
You don't have to be enough for anyone but you, and if you give your best and people don't recognize it or is not enough for them that's not a you problem, that's their.
I wouldn’t say this video saved me, but I watched it when I was at my lowest. It, moved me. It didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know, ppl would be hurt if I left. But, something abt how they said it all.. “I fall in love with:” also u got me with the poor dog😞 Im still here cuz of God, i thank Jesus for saving me. God bless u all. Keeping living, even if it seems hopeless. Jesus will never lose hope in you.
I had a close family member kill himself. I still remember the sobs of his mother, how his father sat there and stared at the floor with an empty, depressed look. I remember tearfully having to explain to my 6 year old brother that his favorite cousin wasn’t coming back. I remember the effort we all put in to make sure his sister didn’t learn about it until we could say it gently. I remember my usually poker faced dad shed tears. I remember his birthday a few months later, when his favorite song played on the radio and I had to pull over to cry. I used to have the same thoughts, but when this happened...man it was a real slap of reality. I can’t put my family through that. I can’t make the people who care about me suffer.
I CAME TO THIS VIDEO BECAUSE 5 DAYS AGO MY DAUGHTER TOOK HER LIFE.I KNOW SHE DIDNT WANT TO.I KNOW SHE REALLY DIDNT WANT US TO GO THRU THIS GRIEF.BUT IT WAS THE ONLY WAY SHE KNEW TO STOP THE DEMON INSIDE HER HEAD.ONLY WAY HER PAIN COULD STOP.JESUS KEEP MY GIRL SAFE AND SECURE AND LOVED TILL MOMMY MEETS U AGAIN BABYGIRL.😢😢😢😢😢😢😢💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
@headz THANK U SO MUCH MEANS ALOT.🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏SHE WAS DOING WELL BEFORE THANKSGIVING CAME.THAN SHE GOT SCAMMED BY A PERSON ONLINE.FROM THERE IT TOOK A TOLL ON HER.THERE WAS NO COMING BACK FROM IT.😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
living with depression and anxiety is a constant cycle and struggle of "I don't want to live" and "I don't want to die". It does keep me alive but I'm tired from being controlled by both
I'm in your boat... Just I learned for me it's like a jumping ball... the harder you smash into the ground, the higher you can bounce and soar for a while... I learned to accept that I will hit the floor again and it will be painful, but as I stopped myself from trying to not fall to the ground, it doesn't hurt less but it's a shorter phase and the times that I can enjoy life get longer and more colorful. I whish I had wings, but that's just not what I am right now... eventually I'll come across someone giving me wings, but until then I'll keep on bouncing sometimes higher and harder, sometimes lower and gentle
I started hallucinating when I was about nine. I understood the concept of hallucinations, but I was always in prison. Fast forward to about five years later, I had just finished seventh grade, probably the most dramatic and difficult time of my life. I know a friend who’s going through a lot, and I can one hundred percent relate. I hit myself with my lunchbox every single time after lunch because I couldn’t bear to do anything. From the constant racism, to the classes that I felt like I didn’t understand, I spent hours just staying up trying to finish my homework. Here I am now, where it’s almost the end of the summer break, where I have to go through the same thing next year.
not sure i tried to kms on 28th of august and havent fell in love ever since with life, only with a boy but he decide theres so much more than me so theres no meaning on life, only my cats.
u mean so much and even if u think no one cares, i care and i promise you all the other ppl in ur life care. i hope ur in a better place rn and i hope u can understand how loved and needed u r
@@cigarettediet1185 you've apparently been struggling for a long time... i really hope that tomorrow will be a better day for you :') also i love cats, they're so cute
i started crying uncontrollably at the brother part and couldn’t stop. i feel so guilty abt having suicidal thoughts i never ever want to put my little brother through that oh my god. this is such a beautiful piece and i know will never fail to make me emotional
There's nothing for you to feel guilty about for having suicidal thoughts. In fact, you should feel pride in yourself for having those thoughts but not giving into them. You display great selflessness in resisting those thoughts for the sake of your brother and other people that care about you and love you.
My baby brother, sister, and mom are the only people who kept me from committing. I imagine the pain they would feel if I went through with it and I would feel guilty if I would pass my pain off to them. Not because I think it’s cowardly, but because I could not imagine how I would affect their lives, and the lives of their potential future children as well. I’m still fighting it, but I feel much better today than I did last year.
I also cried abou this part, though I don't have suicidal thoughts anymore it reminds me of a time when I did and I'm glad that I'm still here so I know my little brothers will never have to go through it.
My big sister committed suicide about a month and a half ago and as someone who's struggled with mental health, this piece really hit hard. You got me all choked up and teary.
Came back to this 3 years later, and I know I will keep coming back to this,to thank the person who wrote this beautiful peace and to thank Illness even more for creating this video. The first time that I watched this video, it changed something in me and 3 years later when I'm absolutely free from depression and those thoughts I'm back here again with so much of love for this, can't thank you enough for creating this Illneas💖
The only way to receive true happiness is to be born again.Jesus loves you and is coming back to earth soon.You need to repent.Please believe and spread the word...
if you need help go talk to your friends, family and people you trust, life can be great and will get even better after the pandemic ends so do not waste it and life have a lot of good experiences and memories that are gonna make you think it was all worth it, a lot of people who tried to end their lives remember that they changed their mind and are happy to be alive, if necessary search for help in the internet and if you can afford it call a therapist "ending your life is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" also do not be shy to call for help
@Diella shalom Akimana Stop please y'all are annoying I swear. If your religion gives you solace that doesn't mean that it'll for everyone else. If there's a god, then he couldn't care less really
@@ducks.s You see, I have nothing against religious people. Just please be civil and don't force your religion on me everytime I'm being suicidal etc. If praying helps you, that doesn't mean that it'd help everyone else.
@@palemink no one was forcing it upon you. They are stating things. True things. Instead of saying Jesus loves you to make you more comfortable, we Love you.
Completely honest here. Some days are so shit when I say “I don’t leave my bed” I don’t leave my bed at all. Not for the bathroom not for food not for anything at all, I just want to be dead. Some therapists have helped but not much the thoughts always come back. I’m so happy this came up on my timeline on shit a shitty morning- I might go and decorate for Christmas instead of tying a noose today. Thank you so much for letting me and my family have one more good day together- and for the first time in a while I want to have more good days with them. Thanks
you will make it through this. you have so many more people to meet and beautiful things to see. everyone is so proud of you. keep going, you got this!
“With my brother, who once believed in unicorns but now sits at his desk at school trying desperately to believe that I still exist.” Absolutely broke me. I couldn’t hold it together anymore. Anytime I consider giving up I just think about what I’d be putting my family through and then I just can’t do it. That would be such an easily avoidable pain.
My friend of 15 years committed suicide yesterday. He was only 29 years old. His older brother died 10 years ago in a car accident, and his younger brother died 5 years ago due to cancer. Their mom lost all 3 of her sons in a 10 year span and none of them made it to 30. I can’t stop crying wondering if there is something I could have done, but on the other hand I’m also happy at the thought of him being with his brothers again and having the most beautiful reunion together. I can just imagine them talking and hugging and messing around together today. I loved them and they were like my brothers. His poor parents… all their kids are gone. I just needed to get this off my chest
I feel so pity that people are facing these things and i can't even help them. I wish i could help even one person who's facing these type of situations
Owwww sorry to hear that love. In 10 years my older brother committed suicide. I've lost 3 of my cousins. I've lost 2 of my uncles one with committed suicide other one from cancer. One of my best friend hang himself like a year ago and I am having a anxiety depression and panic attacks now. Having problems with my mental health. I am doing my best to stay strong coz nun of us going to live forever and we need to live a good life in our future. Always trying my best to stay away from the bad thoughts and keep myself positive but when I think about them I get the anxiety depression and suicidal thoughts. When I read your comment here the tears just dropped of my eyes. We all should stay strong and positive
@@ulastoprak i feel you. During the pandemic where me and my family had much more free time than usual, the time we spent together feels unreal. As time goes by, various kinds of news flew past our ears. There is good news like marriage, but there is also bad news like the sudden death of a family member. The many deaths that I heard made me think that none of this was real. Then I realized that we only get to live in this world for a very short time, to soon may be forgotten...
“I hope there are days when your coffee tastes like magic, Your playlist makes you dance, Strangers make you smile, And the night sky touches your soul. I hope that you fall in love with being alive again.” (unfortunately i dont know the author of this piece (edit: someone said it’s by brooke hampton) but i think it’s really beautiful. When i first found it, it was exactly what i needed to hear. And maybe it’s what someone else needs to hear, too. Stay save, everybody.)
I always come back to this, Whenever it get gets recommended-I watch it. Sometimes better, other times worse, I watch it and feel the progree I have made, forward or backward. Today, tears didn't fell, Today I finally commented on this. It has been four years from when I first started this cycle. It always makes it way back to me.
the video made me tear up but this comment made me break down. i'm so proud of you, lovely human, thank you for being here. i am turning 17 tomorrow and i feel the same.
I know how it feels. And I'm just glad that we can still observe the beauty of this world and enjoy small and big things, when we thought we wouldn't even make it to this day.
I was also 13. I also never expected to make it farther than 14. I’m also 17, and still here. Still here. We’re still here. I’m proud of you. You keep going, pal, and I will too. We’ll try our best.
My friend killed himself 3 days ago. He was only 15. I found out the morning later. I was never really close to him but I had so much fun with him, and he was never really open with his darker side. He was always smiling and laughing even though he would sometimes make edgy jokes about suicide, but nothing too much. Although we, his friends, knew he wasn't in a good mental state, we didn't really think it was THIS bad. His closest friends knew he wanted to off himself but never knew when he would do it. The night he did it he climbed on a rooftop of a mall with a friend. Both of them tried to kill themselves. They left a message to others and they quickly figured out what was going on, so they called the police. Meanwhile the girl that went with him chaned her mind. She was telling him not to do it. Then the police came. He just jumped.
One of my favourite teachers killed himself around 9 months ago and it almost seemed like nobody in my class even cared. Most of them were joking and laughing, happy to have a "day off" (god bless the gym teacher for bringing the news and then letting us do what we wanted in the gym area). Honestly, it took quite a lot of help from people to convince me I couldn't have prevented it and especially for me to not join him. I still feel bad now, and angry for my classmates not being there at all. None of them even showed up to an optional ceremony to him in our central area, but it really has made me appreciate my friends, family and teachers more. Even now, I sometimes look at busses or cars riding past, or down from a high story in my school, and I am just so done and think about doing it, but I just feel so. Ashamed of it. Even more of telling anybody that I know about this, because the only real knowledge I have about it is people calling him "selfish" for taking his own life. (I am so sorry for this, but I needed this off my chest, and saw other posts here.)
Please just remember, the only constant in life is change. No matter what your current situation is, it will change at some point. Hang on, try to find beauty and joy in life. Things will change. And the world is better with you in it! ❤
I'm sorry for your loss. It's absolutely true there's nothing you could have done to have prevented it, because the only person any of us ever has any control over is ourselves, and sometimes even that's difficult to reconcile. I'm sorry your classmates chose the easy way out of handling his loss and pretended not to care - I'm sure some of them do, but don't know how to talk about it or want the others to know - but it's not an unusual reaction. It's typical of the young to go on about their business because it's too hard for them to process, but you're your own person, and very brave. You have a right to be angry at them. It's also easier for people to say he was "selfish" than to try to understand what he might have been feeling or thinking, or to recognize that he was in so much pain dying seemed like a better option than staying alive. You have a right to think about it or to try and understand, and you have a right to talk about it, even if you only keep a journal and write about it for yourself. Please don't be sorry about it, and please don't hesistate to reach out for help when it gets too heavy to carry by yourself - the world needs more people like you, not less. ❤
What a tragic, awful thing--and shocking that your classmates are so callous. Please, please believe that your life will get better; when you're a kid or a teenager, you have almost no power over your own life, but as you get older you will earn your own money and be able to control where and how you live, choose who gets to be in your life, and do the things that are important to you and make you happy. It's impossible to see ahead from where you are now, but trust those of us who have gone ahead of you, it gets so much better.
It's sad how much I come here every time I want to end things. I'm afraid I'll end up regretting it, so I come here to remind myself that I can't go back if I try it. I hope everyone will find their own happiness. If you're reading this, don't give up. Cuz I'm trying my best to not give up too. Let's win this together.
An interesting treatment of a somber subject. An old friend killed himself 26 November and I wondered whether - given the option - would he try to “unkill” himself?
I am here to thank you. This was the final pull that helped me to overcome the depression. The day after watching this I told my parents about everything, and we talked long. We found a therapist who helped me. I am still fighting, but no longer I have the desire to die. You have no idea how grateful I am. I remember watching this and crying my eyes out. This pulled a special string of my heart. All I could think about was how much I didn't want to die. Again, thank you!
I am the Mom of a Veteran Suicide. There are no words in any language to express the loss. My heart now lives in heaven with Nathan. Stay. We need you. You are precious, valuable and worthy. NO! Your parents would NOT be better off without you. ♡♡
Jesus loves you so much. You are worth dying for, please, if you don’t want your life give it to Jesus. You are worthy. You are enough. Invite Jesus, there’s nothing to lose but everything to gain. You are so beautiful and worthy. If I could go on my knees and tell you how worthy you are I would. You are worth the blood of Jesus. Please Stay, God has big plans for you🤍
This has helped me so much when I was at my very lowest low. Now I watch it whenever I feel it, and it's always made me realize that I have to keep on living
same here, i wanted to give up multiple times because of school. im 12 almost 13 and sitting here on this earth helpless. School has been draining me and i cant seem to stop myself from hurting myself or having severe anxiety attacks. I cant seem to tell my parents anything and my therapist isnt helping, but this video certainly helped me be a bit more positive and reminded me why i should keep going.
@@skibidiOhioFanumTaxer I feel you. I'm 17 almost 18. Got diagnosed with depression when I was 10. It's been a journey and I've felt so many of the same things you do, like school being draining, feeling like my therapist is not helping and not having anyone I could rely on to open up to. Sometimes I still wish I could just die, but we just have to keep on going. I'm not here to say that everything is perfect, and sometimes I slip into my old ways, but it's getting better. If you let yourself live, you might just realize all the positives in life. If you still feel like this in high school, take a gap year to find yourself before going to college. You got this! Know that I will be rooting for you from afar! ❤
Hello, I am the author of this piece and I wanted to thank illneas so much for creating this rendition! I'm truly grateful for his collaboration and support!
I wrote this piece several years ago as someone who was suicidal and enduring a severe trauma. I'm continually humbled by the outpouring of support it has received.
I posted it on my blog after I wrote it and never expected it to go viral. This piece was a letter to myself as a suicidal person, and so it may not resonate with everyone. I wrote it to myself and it was what I needed to hear at the time.
Sending love to everyone who is currently or has been struggling to the point of considering suicide. I am thinking of you and wishing you the best across the world in the U.S.
Have a wonderful day, everyone! Thank you again!
Masterpiece
This is so amazing!
We should all live as if we had killed ourselves
Keep up the good work you are very talented
Amazing
Thank you so much for expressing my thoughts so beautifully. Thank you. I need it now.
"too tired to stay
too scared to leave"
Me
exactly how i feel.
I read that as too scarred. That'd have made sense as well
damn 💯
me 2 frien very tired and extremely scared
"I'm too tired to stay...I'm too scared to leave"
You don't wanna die, you just want relief...
Don't please don't life wouldn't be the same without you. Please don't healing will come.
@@arakoz don't please don't, you have loved ones though you don't see it right now, please don't you are not alone I promise you that. My daughter has tried multiple times without me knowing I promise you now that I know her pain and illness their is help I promise you like my daughter you are not alone
yes
exactly
thats how I feel
I don't want to loose my life, I just want to be free from it..(I'm not scared tho, I just worry)
Stay for bts💗💜
I don't how you are now
But please stay for your future
Please stay for namjoon, seokjin, min yoongi, hobi, jungkook, jimin, taehyung
I love you
"Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now take what's left and live it properly." - Marcus Aurelius
thanks
the past friend of mine who recommended me that book recently died by suicide. i still miss him so much.
Nice quote.
Apparently that's easier said than done for most
@@marcusaurelius2787 It's easier said than done for all.
I was 12, I never thought I would make it, but look, I am 22 and still here..
I survived myself.
congrats didi, keep going.
Same
Why didn't you think you'd make it? Asking because I know how hard depression can be but how does it affect at 12 years of age?
I was 5, but look 24 still like to die though
Praise God! No matter the struggles, keep looking towards Jesus, trusting in His love. One foot in front of the other.
"... who now sat in his desk at school, trying desperately to believe I still existed."
Oof! That one hit me.
Same!
same, that’s when i literally began to cry 💀
Same!! 💔
Someone explain this
Me too.. The strongest verse
I was told there is a great difference between not wanting to live anymore, and not wanting to _live_ _like_ _this_ anymore
🙏🏼🙏🏼❣️
yeah i saved a quote similar to this on a notepad. brb-
* ahem * ...
hold on i have multiple quotes for s**cîde, please listen :')
"i don't want to die, i just don't want to live like this, because this is _just staying alive_ and i hate it."
-
"don't think that life is over when you haven't even felt ALIVE yet"
-
"do not do something permanent over something temporary. you'll regret it"
-
"every star must see darkness before the light"
and my favourite one:
Im there now 😥😥💔💔
sooo true
@@spilledmilk_ my tears fall down as i read this. Thankyou for your effort to share this with us 🌹❤️
that’s the whole problem, you often can’t see how beautiful everything is when you’re depressed. it takes something like this happening for you to realize
Jesus loves you all I hope you accept Him and repent He wants you to come to Him, it’s time to accept Him :)
@@bellabrown5274 I know u mean well, but this kind of post isn't going to reach everyone. Thank you for your kindness though, its sweet
@@bellabrown5274 joining a cult doesn't cure depression
Yup i know its hard to see the sun while its raining and when the complete sky is covered with clouds but it takes 1 unit just 1 unit to know that the sun is hidden in those clouds,that its these days that has hidden happiness
I know its very easy to say bt very hard to take your heavy heart out there and hope at worst bt at that time that's all we could do hope,And prove our hopes through actions,place changing,sometimes sharing with unknown if known dont value u
But for that u have to get out the 1st step
The 1st step is alwz hardest i know bt when u get down in to up u never really realize and journey to better tomorrow beguns
Just a little help
I too suffered i know its very hard bt...its the only thing u can do
@@bellabrown5274 don‘t bring religion into this
I don't remember how it
feels NOT to be suicidal.
It's not right at all
You should talk to someone else about your problems (maybe even me if you want to or you don't have anyone else)
Listen to John Wheeler ‘Let’s get Real’ I think it will help ❤
I'm not gonna say you matter cause in reality? You aren't gonna believe that. All I can say is to keep on doing simple things to care for yourself. Talk with someone. Someone loves you. Or many someones. You might not think you matter, but you do to them. As I said, do the simple things. Get out of bed. Make food and eat it. Talk to a loved one or make a friend...you'd be surprised at how easily you can find one. To love others, you gotta take care of yourself first. I have no experience, but this might help. We all support you here.
Me too dude, me too
I hipe that you'll be okay
@@baxundharaI feel the same...
My little Sister hung herself and was one of the lucky ones because she was cut down and after months of rehabilitation to get her organs working properly again and get the yellowness from her skin, she sat with me and told me that the moment she was dying was the moment that she had never wanted to live more in her life, she tells me about the petals in the flowers being brighter than ever and the sounds of her environment are so amplified, the love she feels for her family and herself. xxx
Amen! I hope you and your family and sister are safe . God loves you
I've heard stories like this before and they always make me tear up! I'm so glad your sister is still with us ❤
wow. i’ve never heard from a survivor in that way before, i’d love to more.
god bless your family!
wow this made me cry. such a beautiful story. so happy for her recovery
I just want to hug the child in me that is suffering so much. The child that misses mama. That wants to grow pumpkins with grandma again. That wants to feel the embrace of papa's strong arms. The person I used to be who saw the world in such a beautiful light.
❤️❤️🥺
Mama and papa did their part now its your turn to make a memorable experience for the people that you care about
I want to offer that child a hug too. That part will always live on in us & even when it is hard, we have to learn to parent that part of ourselves in order to feel whole
@@Lely2.0 We all have inner children that need tending to, no matter what age we are. When we shut it down & focus solely on others & their needs, we violate & ignore that child & it creates so much of the depression & numbness that is prevalent in our society
@@veela1324 I just want to say that I find you to be a wonderful and beautiful person inside and out. Your words brought tears to my eyes and I can't thank you enough for it. Me, and the inner child would love to give you the warmest and most thankful hug we possibly could. I'm understanding that what I miss as a child can come back, but in ways I wouldn't imagine. Maybe the reason I was born at all is to move on and grow my own pumpkins, give someone the strong and warm embrace I miss so much, and maybe one day I won't miss it at all; but smile while doing it for someone else
*“the bravest thing that person can do is to stay alive when they wanted to die.”*
It just sucks how it doesn't even feel brave. It feels like cowardice because you can't bring yourself to just end it.
@@DarthYall no you are brave enough to stay in this world in this cruel society full of judgement and the for me the definition of cowardice is to run away from your own problems stay strong it'll gonna be okay🖤😊
This made me cry llol
@@ayeshaannie6017 don't worry everything is gonna be alright
/Sending virtual hug
I hate that everyone calls suicide cowardice. They call it running away from a life that you weren't brave enough to face. I appreciate that this quote doesn't say that directly
When you see a depressed person suddenly happy, nothing is right, because a suicidal person doesn't always look suicidal.
My brother hid it well 😢
@@NannieG-y6v Im so sorry for you! :(
@@insanity910 thank you so much
@@NannieG-y6v np! :)
usually when they look suddenly happier, it's a sign that they will unalive themselves SOON. their 'happiness' is their peace at knowing their mind is made up and that they're about to do it. source: search it up online. it's a well known phenomenon. if they look happier, THEY DID NOT GET BETTER. THEY NEED HELP MORE THAN EVER
"The morning after I killed myself, I fell in love with life." Only this statement once told to me has given me the strength to hang in there.
I hope you have overcome it.
just don't *hang in there*
@@bedwar12494 LMAOOOOO
terrible wording
So true. I tried to kill myself last week on Monday. I was so tired. The day after however I could feel something had changed a lot. Now I realize it's that I fell in love with life again. I started looking for a job, started looking for what I wanted to do in life. Started making actual changes. It's really hard but I don't want to die I just don't want to think like this anymore
"With my brother who once believed in unicorns but who now sat in his desk at school trying desperately to believe I still existed." This part hit.
I cried so much at this part.
Same. It's my sister for me. She still leaves me little notes at random places just to let me know I matter.
@@Elysion404 awhh she's so precious. And you are as well, know that.
@@Rafmee She's absolutely lovely, and thank you 💜 so are you!
thats when i started to sob
I'm not suicidal and this made me want to live for a thousand years.
proud of you!
That's the highest compliment. It's what good art should do
The only way to receive true happiness is to be born again.Jesus loves you and is coming back to earth soon.You need to repent.Please believe and spread the word...
Tahrima Moula Tanisa proud of you ♡︎
Become an eternally-roaming spirit like me then
Every time i watch this i always cry no matter how many times i see it. It's a good thing to watch when you're down.
right.
"The morning after I killed myself I tried to unkill myself". This part hurts
🥲🥲🥲
That part hit me hard as shit
@@Godblessed2 I have tried to hang myself and It was the worst thing one can imagine. I didn't make the upper knot right so I fell and lived but I could have died that day and never experienced the beauty of my surroundings. I'm 14 and still suicidal sadly but at least I didn't try it since so maybe I'll get better
@@SCP_with_a_stolen_phone_hehe Please don't ever think about it again! Your life is going to change in so many beautiful ways! You just have to fight hard on the days the demon whispers in your ear, tell him to F-off, you're going to have a wonderful life! Love & Light to You ❤️
@@Godblessed2 I watched a documentary on jumpers of the Golden Gate bridge, San Francisco, they interviewed the a survivor and he said... “the minute I let go, I wished I hadn't”. It's amazing, I don't know how he survived!
as a person who is suicidal, this hurts to watch. i’m crying-
I hope you’re better.. :( me too,
I love you for staying strong:)))
Stay strong. You’re stronger than you think❤️
Me too
I hope everything is gonna be ok for you :) I’m here when you need me
*The morning after I killed myself*
*I fell in love with life*
deep!
Bruh moment
The poem would touch me alot more if it said that
Was waiting this
@@bealis7 That’s the point of it. It does say that...you just have to follow each of the examples of falling in love with life, given by the author, to that conclusion. It hit me deeper that way, because I had to figure it out. Btw, I love your screen name. I think it just sort of capsulizes how I feel about taking time to do anything on here LOL.
Today, something bad happened. A friend called me. I was listening to him and suddenly he told me that he wants to end his life. He is just a 18 year old boy. But his parents sent him to a relative's house. They didn't even allow him to keep a smart phone. He doesn't know me for ages. Nor he talks to me so much. But today, he talked to me 29 minutes and I didn't cut the call until he wanted to do so. I tried to motivate him in so many ways. I told him to talk to teachers. He told me he tried to talk to his parents but it was fruitless. He feels so lonely and tortured. He once forbade me to call him as his relative picks the phone and scolds him. So, I have nothing to do than to pray. Please pray for him. He shouldn't take any wrong decision. And I cannot in person meet him too because he changed his city recently. may he finds support.
I will pray for him this night
@@JeissiAraujo Thank you.
I will pray for him.
You seem like a genuinely good person. Thank you, even that talk probably made so much of a difference to him.
It's such a lovely contradiction between melancholia and optimism.
Exactly and Iness I think captured it greatly with her voice.
@@illneas Totally. Kudos to both of you. You bring people like me closer to poetry.
@@illneas she did.
@@effiet9344 psychic state of depression but with no specific reason
@@effiet9344 I wouldn't say that it's a psychic state of depression - it's more like finding comfort in the sadness in an often somehow artistic way. That's the strange thing about it, because some people "can't" experience raw happiness without this little hint of melancholia in it - it can be drowning but also enjoyable. U don't have to be depressed to know how melancholia feels like.
I read a really interesting piece recently. It was titled “why do people jump” and showed a famous picture of a man jumping off a building. The article went on to say that what if in this photo we could see the building was on fire and the pain of burning was greater then jumping. Just because we can’t see the fire doesn’t mean it’s not there. No one wants to jump or die but The fire that’s been burning in their mind for so long is so powerful and painful that jumping is the less painful option.
It summed up depression and suicidal thoughts really clearly for me so just wanted to share
This
@@ivexoxo Yes that one! Didn't realize till you said it and I looked it up
Any chance you'd be able to find that article? I'd like to read it but can't seem to find it
This is beautiful. Thank you.
This, this is beautiful
this feel like a hug when you're actually suicidal
Message me whenever you need to talk to someone
It truly is!!
No better way to explain it this poem has saved me so much .
Felt that
fr
Last year my 16yr old Grand-daughter took a paracetamol over dose with half a bottle of Vodka just before her GCSE exam…she fortunately told a friend what she’d done because she didn’t like the way her body was feeling and was scared. Her friend told a teacher and she was taken to hospital. She took 18 tablets and was monitored for 48hrs. She survived. 12 months later, she has just completed her first year at college. She remembered the anniversary and reminded me. I asked if she was glad she survived..her reply was “Nanna, I never thought I’d be happy, have friends and fit in”…🥰
*I’m not suicidal, I’m just tired of living... There’s a difference...*
-Unknown
And if you don't do something about it the latter may turn into the former
@@InternationalCurls you don't need to do something about it, you need to learn why it happens. A bird cannot teach a squirrel to fly. The squirrel must learn who he is and why he is there.
that's actually also being suicidal...
@@NW-zg5qt the squirrel wouldn’t understand the bird nor the bird understand the squirrel. Sorry but that made no sense
@@Chris-eu2ls the fu- bro you just gotta understand it y'know?
Sometimes, the only reason why you're still here, is because you care more about the people you would leave behind... than yourself...
@@Keepignoringmeh Then I am glad we both have people we love
Yep
I don't think this is accurate. A lot of suicidal people think they are doing their loved ones a favor by ridding themselves. That low self-esteem and little value some people put in themselves I think is the more common occurrence
@@annaairahala9462 i agree with both statements, it honestly depends on the person.
And yeah...
When I want to stop existing, I feel it’s because I’m tired of living. I always remember later, it’s not life I hate, it’s the mask I’m wearing. I wish to be free, not dead.
Wearing a mask is all I have ever done until very recently. By wearing a mask I never attracted truly kind and like minded people. But the narcissists saw through my mask and saw how vulnerable I really was. I had no problem attracting them and they were all I had.
@@lynnlavy2992 I don't think any mask you can wear is going to be effective hiding your true self. Maybe take it out, and good people will come to you. They are rare, but they exist
@@brunomendes8031 Rare i deed, Thank you Bruno. I do appreciate your comment.
I find that I tell myself I’m wearing a mask rather than wearing one. It think helps with my deep self hatred if I tell my self that all the actions I do are not “my own” and “it’s my mask” it helps me distance my brain and my actual self. I can’t escape it now it’s become so natural to me. I just want to love myself again love the things I say and do and not say that it’s a “mask” or “not me” I don’t even know who me is. Well this is a UA-cam comment that no one will ever find so lol.
@@virginiacollins I understand. I find it easier to be mask free when I’m meeting someone for the first time (they don’t have an expectation of me yet) or after I’ve slowly built trust with someone and see they’re the kind of person who accepts everyone. It use to feel like I had a control station in my head and I was evaluating which response would make someone like me more/etc. Now I try to do/say the first thing that pops in my head. Jordan Peterson and Thais Gibson videos on UA-cam helped me understand myself. I believe you can live the life you deserve 💖
This made me cry. It made me think about you can be so confident in doing something, then you do it, and everything gets *worse.*
Ever seen anti-suicide videos made by governments. Did they help? Obviously no. But this, this is a masterpiece.
this tbh
Yeah, I dunno. Maybe I'm weird, but this sort of slow-paced sappy shit doesn't really do much for me. Still just boils down to the same tired 'look at the bright side', 'you don't know what you had till it's gone' cliches.
@@Drarack its always cliche i dont know what your talking about
yeah bcoz that's actually made by a suicidal person, not a group of ppl ordered to finish a project.
the government doesn't understand that if you want to make someone to listen to you is to listen to them first. to understand how they are feeling. they think that with a plain "do not kill yourself." they finished the deal.
it's not that simple and it will never be...
@@Drarack you never really know the impact of hearing it until after attempting it yourself.
“Life isn’t about how hard a hit you can take, it’s about how many hits you can take and still get up and keep going.”
Is that a rocky quote ?
ARMY 💜
It's not about how hard you can hit, it's about hard you can get hit and keep moving forward
hey army💜
Damn, that's so true.
I don’t exactly want to die I just don’t want to live like this anymore.
I know exactly how you feel and I am so so sorry. Things do get better and you just have to look for the little things. Start collecting rocks, or start baking. Start going on walks or texting your friends. Things will get better and I wish the absolute best for you
Wow. So true for so many. Thank you for your comment. I know it has helped some people. Please hold on!
I’m so sorry
I know it’s hard but I promise it will get better
So please keep going
Life is a volatile thing
And you’ll be happy one day,
I promise
yea same but like i wanna be me but I don't wannabe me the way i sm rn ykk?
@@aesthetics_sounds Take one little step at a time and be loving and gentle with yourself.
everytime it gets bad I watch this video, it's a good reminder to stay alive
what sucks is being aware of all this beauty but having an immense sadness that trumps over it all, every single second of the day
Well put. So many people try to fight this monster. It is exhausting and soul crushing. Gratitude and positivity is not nearly enough when our brains our chemically lacking or not functioning as they should.
I hear you, for quit a while a struggled with a depression on somedays I was able to see the beauty and the good but on most I just felt overwhelmed with a sense of darkness. Everything felt meaningless and it felt like my soul had already died while my body was still forced to life out the days. I struggled with suicidal thoughts. I would really recommend watching this video below:
ua-cam.com/video/fSvKVWs6zGc/v-deo.html
I don’t what is going on in your head or in your life just know that Jesus loves you and ending your life is not the only way to end the pain. I struggled with a depression and getting through the day often seemed impossible but Jesus got me out that place. Just know that ending your life is not the only way to end the pain or frustration. I hope you see this and look at the video. The Bible app also has great Bible plans on depression that helped me out a lot. I hope and pray that you will find inner peace. It will get better even if that seems impossible. I will definitely be praying for you and know that I am rooting for you :)
I really believe that there will come a day when you are no longer trying to survive the day but exactly be capable of being present and enjoy it. But for now please hold on. It will get better even if that seems impossible.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.”
Jeremiah 29:11-13 NLT
www.bible.com/116/jer.29.11-13.nlt
@@lynnlavy2992 I hear you, for quit a while a struggled with a depression on somedays I was able to see the beauty and the good but on most I just felt overwhelmed with a sense of darkness. Everything felt meaningless and it felt like my soul had already died while my body was still forced to life out the days. I struggled with suicidal thoughts. I would really recommend watching this video below:
ua-cam.com/video/fSvKVWs6zGc/v-deo.html
I don’t what is going on in your head or in your life just know that Jesus loves you and ending your life is not the only way to end the pain. I struggled with a depression and getting through the day often seemed impossible but Jesus got me out that place. Just know that ending your life is not the only way to end the pain or frustration. I hope you see this and look at the video. The Bible app also has great Bible plans on depression that helped me out a lot. I hope and pray that you will find inner peace. It will get better even if that seems impossible. I will definitely be praying for you and know that I am rooting for you :)
I really believe that there will come a day when you are no longer trying to survive the day but exactly be capable of being present and enjoy it. But for now please hold on. It will get better even if that seems impossible.
If you are able please try to find help. Talk to people and try to continue to fight. You are worth fighting for.
“Don’t be afraid of them because the LORD your God is the one who will be fighting for you.”
Deuteronomy 3:22 CEB
www.bible.com/37/deu.3.22.ceb
“But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.”
Isaiah 40:31 NLT
www.bible.com/116/isa.40.31.nlt
@@loisreugebrink4968 You are precious and thank you so very much. I will watch the video and I will work on feeling better. I think I have found a home and my people in this channel. I have always hidden the pain and I look forward to more help and less judgement for future generations. Thank you again, and I wish you blessings, good health, safety, and God's love.
It would help if people were kinder to each other. Some people have no idea they’re actions could effect someone’s mental health. It’s amazing what kindness can do to someone struggling with trying to stay alive..
Little does the author of this video know, how many people they must’ve saved from dying...
The author commented on this video if you’d like to see. :)
It was 999 and I made it 1K
Also: a reallyyyy good point.
I dont see how It would save anyone. People who commit suicide cannot defend themselves so people think they are idiots. After you kill yourself there will not be a morning after and also there will be no more pain for what brought you to the point of commiting suicide. I still stand as a depressive suicidal who struggles everyday. And I find this video offensive. It takes down a lot from what is a decision and not an impulse.
@@M1guel7Dias true.?!
@@M1guel7Dias I can see where you are coming from as I too am depressed. I have been for a year. I have tried so hard but nothing works. However for me I find this beautiful. I interpret it as a reminder of the good in our lives whether we see it or not. The most mundane things can sometimes be the most special things. It describes where she grew up and the people around her that love her. It's so easy to look past these things when there is so much stress, anxiety, and sadness in ones life. So for me, this was a good reminder to keep fighting. And that even through this living hell, there are still things out there that are good.
As someone who is suicidal, I felt something after watching this. And it makes me think, that maybe I should hold on a little longer.
Please, please do.
stay
stay, it'll get better
Don't hold on a little longer...
Hold on and don't let go!
stay for me. sending love, random stranger.
Damn time really does fly.. I was 15 when I watched this video for the first time.. I was hella depressed I used to have a really bad social anxiety too still do but I’m much better now.. I’m 18 now.. i actually love life now.. please never give up.. I really understand you and I love you ❤
I am 17, Thank you for your kind words I guess I really needed that because I also have very bad social anxiety and have been dealing with problems lately and since the past few weeks it has been so much worse. It feels so much better and refreshing when you have somebody to talk to. But I guess this is the way life teaches us. May your dreams inspire and guide you to great achievements. Good luck.
@@KhalidSiddiquiiHey I’m in a similar situation, also 17. Let me know if you want someone to talk to
“with my brother who once believed in unicorn but who now sat in his desk at school trying desperately to believe i still existed”
that was deep
two little brothers. thinking of this quote.
That trauma...
not deep but relatable
@@kathymatamoros4963 It was deep for me as my brother was the one who witnessed my attempt at suicide and since then he was always sticking by my side wherever I go.
@@hearthartemis8881 no need to tell me your life and what you are describing is that it was relatable
I came really close to hanging myself in a tree. As I sat there on the branch 2 little girls ran by below me. I could not go through with it then for the fear of them finding me. I climbed down looked around and there was no sign of them. To this day I call them my little angels.I thank you so much for this.
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Definitely your guardian angels watching over you in life
Your hallucinating lol 😂
@@t.n.h.ptheneohumanpatterna8334Not funny
@@t.n.h.ptheneohumanpatterna8334 Crazy that you hallucinated thinking that "your" was the correct one.
REGRET has never been spelt out in such a poetic manner. Absolutely sublime.
so true
Tru facts bro
I'm confused about what this poem is talking about
The only way to receive true happiness is to be born again.Jesus loves you and is coming back to earth soon.You need to repent.Please believe and spread the word...
@@purebliss2669 There's 4.3k religons that exist. How can u be so sure yours is the right one?
This video saved my life. Seriously, I was in a really bad place and this masterpiece convinced me to get help. Thank you.
I feel so emotionally connected to this. I tried to kill myself once. The thing that stopped me was myself and I knew this was wrong how much I would miss and not see. Then my dog came in the room I saw how his expression changed and how his tail stopped wagging, I untied the rope from my neck and he immediately went to comfort me. None of my family knows I did it. Only one saw that day. And he's the reason I'm still here.
💕
♥️
m.ua-cam.com/video/tePHyfIR3KM/v-deo.html 💗💗💗
🤍
💔
“The secret of life is to die before you die and find that there’s no death.” -Rumi
A lot like what Marcus Aurelius preached. There’s a deep sense of peace which invades me just thinking about it
That’s literally the Christian message in a nutshell.
When you realize that you’ve already died to yourself - the second death becomes an illusion... then you render yourself unstoppable.
This sound like buddhism
@@dramaboyle6525 rumi was a sufi, just to clarify
"i saw the empty space in her eyes when she reached a stick and turned around to greet me, so we could play catch, but saw nothing, but sky in my place" im sobbing
as the mother of a suicide I cried through the whole thing
this part made me really sad as well.
I want to get a dog. Something to keep my lows to not go too low and the unconditional love every morning as i wake up.
What about this resonated with you most? 🌌
I'm sorry that I have ever thought of killing myself...😭 I just want to know that someone REALLY loves me and REALLY understands me, not leaving me after two months :( Am I born in the wrong time line? I'm trans in the fucking Poland section, and also disabled (schizophrenia and spectrum of autism). Every time I try reach out and talk to people, they don't have time or courage to explain me :"what I'm doing wrong in the terms of social norms?" and even they tell me, this is the signal mostly about " gtfo, we don't want you here!" It is that much that I want decent job so I can have stable Internet connection, food and soap? That I want "to have" (loved one isn't my property, is single human) love one?
This reminds me of a story I once heard about a man who regretted his suicide attempt the moment he jumped off a bridge. As he was falling, he realized all the things he would miss - the warmth of the sun, the laughter of his children, the taste of his favorite food. It's a tragic reminder to appreciate the beauty of life, even in the midst of pain.
So? If i wanna end my damn self what does the beauty of this world have to do with it?
It’ll be three years since my last attempt on the 28th of this month. I’m starting grad school soon, getting married, all that.... I never thought I’d make it this far. But I am so grateful I did.
I'm so happy you've grown and gotten this far! Sending you lots of love and happiness.
in a week it will be one year since my first attempt and i’m just going downhill towards it. i’m so proud of you for making it this far, you can do this ❤️
I'm so proud of you that you did. Please keep going.
I’m so proud of you
You did WELL,LUV
There’s this video I really like of a guy who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge and survived.
He said that as soon as he let go off the cable and jumped, he realized he had made the biggest mistake of his life and in a matter of seconds all his life problems suddenly seemed solvable and not so unbearable as he once thought they were. Then all he could think about while the water was getting closer and closer was “I don’t wanna die”. Fortunately he did survive to pass his story on.
As a suicide attempt survivor, I feel profoundly touched by his words. Once we get to see death that close, it makes us not want to go near it ever again.
We’re living in atypical circumstances lately, but remember to check on your loved ones during this quarantine. We might make more difference in people’s lives than we think we do. And above all: take care of yourself.
Sending much love to y’all! Stay safe!
Gotta say that's a very personal opinion that doesn't apply to all because I'm also a survivor of attempted suicide and did attempt many times after having been "that close to death". That didn't change it for me at the time. Mine was related to PTSD, and I stopped attempting two months post-trauma, which was over 3 and a half years ago, but perhaps maybe that sentiment is more common with other causes of suicidality or maybe it was just different for me; I don't know.
@@natalieedelstein Yes, I agree! Mine was related to depression, something I have already recovered from through the use of medication and psychotherapy. Didn’t mean to generalize it, for sure we all have different perceptions and experiences. Don’t know how you’ve been after all this time, but I sincerely hope you’re doing better! Wishing you well! ❤️
@@monicadearaujo4498 no worries. You too
I saw that video! :(
Or as the writers of BoJack Horseman put it:
The weak breeze whispers nothing
The water screams sublime
His feet shift, teeter-totter
Deep breath, stand back, it’s time
Toes untouch the overpass
Soon he’s water bound
Eyes locked shut but peek to see
The view from halfway down
A little wind, a summer sun
A river rich and regal
A flood of fond endorphins
Brings a calm that knows no equal
You’re flying now
You see things much more clear than from the ground
It’s all okay, it would be
Were you not now halfway down
Thrash to break from gravity
What now could slow the drop
All I’d give for toes to touch
The safety back at top
But this is it, the deed is done
Silence drowns the sound
Before I leaped I should’ve seen
The view from halfway down
I really should’ve thought about
The view from halfway down
I wish I could’ve known about
The view from halfway down
I was 12 when I first tried to hurt myself. I still have a scar in my left leg. When I was 14 I grabbed a knife on the kitchen table, went to the yard, and held the knife up to my heart. Right then I got a text. It was someone I loved. She started talking about her day, and everything she did. She told me that she loved me, and that she would be around forever. I didn’t even talk with her. I just looked at the messages, and the knife fell out of my hand. I’m now 16 and there’s not a day that goes by that I’m not grateful for that person.
glad you're still here.
Sadly not everyone have such person
If suicide or death is only option left think again on reverse way . Love yourself first . None worthy of your love even family they hurts much than others sometimes you will get a position where you will find you are living alone in full world but thats time to be yourself . Kick out anything that give you thought of suicide live life happily with yourself .
...
Sweetie, wherever you are, whoever you are, just know that I love you. It would make me so happy if you live a healthy and peaceful life. Don't be hard on yourself. Bad days are a part of us but there is always a reason to hold on.
I can't listen to this poem without bawling my eyes out.. like it physically hurts
i cried when she said "I fell in love with my mother, who sat on the floor in my room"...
Same
And when she said, "I tried to unkill myself because I couldn't finish what i started."
I cried the whole time
@Gemmariah Beadle I felt your comment. Listen, you know youre not alone. My uncle beat cancer this Feb and he was fighting it for two years. And sometimes even I feel so shitty but it all assembles when i think how bad days make us appreciate the good ones. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There are millions of people like you and I. Dont give up because there are people who NEED you. And feel free to text me anytime. PLEASE.💜
@Gemmariah Beadle Jesus loves you precious, call upon His name, accept Him as your saviour, with repentance and forgivness. He has a beautiful place for you where there is no more pain or sadness and there it is over flowing with love for you. He is the love of your life. Blessings to you, my prayers are for you. Much love.
i heard about a man who jumped off the golden gate bridge and survived. he regretted jumping the second he did, as he was falling down. he was lucky enough to survive, but i keep wondering how many of the ppl who died felt the same way he did. it rlly stuck with me. i think most of us just want relief from the pain, we feel like we wanna die but if we werent in pain we would still wanna be here. i believe in us, i believe in you reading this. you got this and im proud of you for fighting
every single last person regretted it. even just a little bit. it's just natural instinct
😟
i just feel like it would be better off it I wasn't there. i don't need a relief from pain I just want to make people happy
@@hdajq892ey7 i know that feeling.. please stay. i know how real it feels, but there is always, always someone whos happy to have you here, even if they dont say it. i dont even know you but im happy youre here. you gone from this world is never going to be a good thing, you would be missed. theres only one you, which means you bring something into this world even tho you dont know it, and not in a negative way. just by your comment i can tell youre a good person, you think about others, but this wouldnt make people happy. please hold on, you got this. youre gonna meet ppl who make you feel as loved and special as you are. one day at a time alright? im proud of you, and im so happy youre still here
@@wlther thank you so much you're gonna make me cry now
I've felt suicidal so many times lately. There's a voice inside my head saying all the time "why don't you die? Why?" and this poem was like a punch in the face. I should be more grateful. I really should.
I am struggling too. The voice's don't stop
Please, find professional help. Try new things, remember everyday that the world around you is beautiful, but this beauty is somehow linked to your presence. Your life is worth living.
Been there to.. find someone or a feeling to live for. 🙏
Please find Eckhart Tolle (The Power Of Now)
I struggled for years too, sometimes it still comes back.. I'm rooting for your staying. Some days can be wonderful and living is a beautiful thing that's full of possibilities. Give it a chance, allow yourself to experience the occasional beauty in the everyday, and if you believe in one, maybe pray to a higher being sometimes. The voices will go away someday, I promise. Much love.
"The morning after I killed myself, I fell in love with life." is something I wish I could say
“I saw the empty space in her eyes when she reached a stick and turned around to greet me, but saw nothing, but sky in my place.”
I almost hung myself one evening. I was about to step off the stool when my dog yelped at the door. She tried to get in, she didn’t know I wasn’t going to be there after. I couldn’t bare to leave my first dog I’ve ever had, alone. I stepped down and opened the door. 6yrs ago. My dog is 7 now.
if you need help go talk to your Friends, family and people you trust, life can be great and will get even better after the pandemic ends so do not waste it and life have a lot of good experiences and memories that are gonna make you think it was all worth it, a lot of people who tried to end their lives remember that they changed their mind and are happy to be alive, if necessary search for help in the internet and if you can afford it call a therapist "ending your life is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" also do not be shy to call for help...
It’s truly a blessing to have a pet that unconditionally loves you. I’m glad you have her.
Can I ask you her name if you don't mind?(ur dog's name)
Yah That's why everyone believes that pets are so much caring and understanding than humans..
U think she didn't know? Watching animal communicators on tik tok has shown me they know way more than we give them credit for!
You see stories like this and realize, animals are so much more helpful than people sometimes
I’m glad your dog saved you and that you’re alive
I really hope that whoever needed to hear this right now, heard it.
I hope so too, and for me, I just did.
That person is me..
I gave my self one month this month to find a reason to keep living if I could I'd kill my self in January... I think I just found my reason keep living because there will be so many thinks I'd miss. I would see my little sister grow up I wouldn't meet someone that would love me I wouldn't get that dog I want next year. This video found me in just the right time were having to put down my sister's dog in 2 days. I hope the future is better
@@alexjames9948 *hugs* stay strong, friend. You can do this. I deal with the same things but there is always support even if we don’t see it.
@@alexjames9948 those are very good reasons, and maybe those you just mentioned wouldn't have you, the person out there who would love you couldn't, nor could the dog even though they are better at it than anyone, and then your sister wouldn't have a sister anymore. This isn't something to make you feel guilty, it's just that it's a huge loss of possibilities, and it's on both sides. I don't really understand life all that well, and I'm honestly not all that good at it but do know one thing and that is it always changes in one way or another. Sometimes it gets better but if you aren't here to experience that then it can't.
My sister took her life last year. She was only 27 years old. And the greatest sister I could ever have wished for. I wonder if this is what she felt, thought, the day after? Thanks for this video. It really hit home. I miss her so much
I’m so sorry for your lost. I to lost my beautiful sister to suicide. Not a day goes by where I don’t miss her. It’s true life goes on for the living but it’s never the same. Xxxx
I'm so sorry for your loss❤
She didn’t feel anything the next day
I’m so sorry for your loss
It will be okay. Iam here. We are here. We are here.. ❤️
I wouldn't say I'm suicidal but everyday I've been have these thoughts of what if i kill myself, or I would simply say ''I rather be dead'' idk I've been feeling really useless lately. Here I am crying to this wow
i have the same thing, ive felt so unmotivated and incompetent. sometimes i wonder if it’s worth it, but i know that one day i’ll be grateful for keeping on going. so will you, i promise. we’re gonna make it through this year, whoever you are
I feel the same, but we will get through this
i feel the exact same way as you do, and we will get through this together
Y’all are so sweet making me cry :( ❤️
You are not useless! You are a product of a world that only shows value in what they deem useful. The world would shine less without you. The sky would darken and tinge grey and the clouds would cry at the loss of such a beautiful human being.
I love how supportive this comment section is.
Yeah, I know right... And I don't have any sucidle behaviour but this comment section is making me cry with the tears of happiness... Because it's to supportive... 🥺😭
Ikr🥺
I hope you're being sarcastic, because if not, I'll bet we can figure out how to make you that way! 😉
Only if people said something nice to me before ending it. I hope you all can hold on. Don't give up like me. I'm a coward, trying to run away. It's better this way really. Maybe nobody will read this, but if you are, hold on. I quit.
@@sraddha_loves_bangtan don't do that... Hold on... You couldn't do that bro... I don't know you and I don't know your problem but please hold on more... You couldn't give up... Like this... Everything will get better just hold on bro.... Please man... Please...........
this is honestly what schools should show for suicidal awarness month cuz the corny lil "you are not alone." poems are kinda getting reptitive at this point.
@@poopskinniccer9992 was this supposed to be funny 😐
@@jasmineg38 that's what i was wondering ://
My school dosent even being up suicide awareness month
I know. Like, I know I'm not alone, but the fact that so many people make such a big deal out of something the second that you say the smallest thing makes me want to hide again
@@bobapearl9565 yeah mine neither
Time and again when I feel I am ready to give up, and throw in the towel. This video shows up on recommended. Thank you.
I didn’t start crying until they started talking about their dog. My bubs is the only reason I’m still here
Are you taking care of yourself? If you even wanna talk I'm truly here for you
You matter so much Izzy ❤️ I'm thinking of you and I'm here for you
Same here. If I didn’t have my family or my pets I would be gone a looooonnnggg time ago
same )
same . My cat died last week
The fact that I saw this after an attempt makes me believe its a sign to stay
Edit: thanks guys for your kind words. I'm doing much better now and I'm focusing on my mental health more. Everytime I see a notification about a comment, it honestly makes my day. Yall have been helping me so much when it comes to feeling like I matter. Thank you to everyone. I love you all so much ❤
Edit2: Just wanted to give you guys an update. I'm a soon-to-be-mother now! Not only has this community and this message helped me but you all have helped me get to a point in my life where I'm happy just being alive. I have a permanent reason to stay here soon lol. Whoever is reading this just know it's hard as hell and it never stops but man does it get so much easier when you fight to keep going. No matter the situation you're in it's never the end of the world or the end of you. Plus I need tons of aunties and uncles (i cant find a nonbinary term but yall are also included!!) for this baby and you're one of them now!
Love you, someone is always here for you. Even if it doesnt always seem like it. The world can be so lonely but someone will always miss you, even if its not the people you expect. Thank you for staying ♥️
it really is. keep fighting 💖💕❤️💗
please stay
it is a sign to stay❤️
It is
This hit a nerve with me. I'm in silent tears for the girlfriend I lost. Sarah, who, through the shame of a sexual smear campaign against her, took her own life by hanging, when we were at college 21 years ago. She became heavily depressed. The night she died I'd walked her home, where she'd kissed me deeply, which I'd later realise was a goodbye. She hanged herself while everyone was asleep, wracked by shame and guilt. I miss her so so much. The beautiful alternative girl with green hair and blue eyes, the sparkle of which I would never see again.
I love you, Sarah. Always and forever. Please, please guys, never bully or smear someone. It can leave deep wounds that never recover. Smear campaigns and bullying ruin lives. Her poor mother had to find her own daughter hanged. I as her boyfriend still miss her terribly. I will never replace her.
RIP Sarah Morgan - 10 March 1985 - 4th September 2000
so sorry for your loss, rip Sarah
as someone who’s name is Sarah, who is depressed, this changed my life a little.
God bless her soul.
15 yo and after 20 years shared, cherished and not forgotten. I hope she is in a happier place now and she is most likely always with you. Maybe not just in your heart 💖 but right next to you. I wonder what her final thoughts were, you will never know but im sure it involved you
I’m so sorry for your pain …. Your description of Sarah was so beautiful.
When I was a teenager, I used to walk my dog along a lake and every time I did I thought about just walking into the water and drowning myself. Only thing stopping me was my beloved dog.
Now, over a decade later I am thankful that I didn't do it. Even though since then, life has never felt the same, always a bit dull? But still, I do find joy in many things in life and want to continue living. Maybe my life is a bit more gray-tinged than it's supposed to be, but it is still a life worth living.
Thank you for this beautiful and touching video ❤
as a person who’s constantly thinking of doing something like this, this really hit. i know nothing lasts forever but it just hurts
Please don't think about it . everything has a solution .just imagine people who have cancer of mortal illness ,they wish to have an extra day .count the things you are greatful for .it could be sight ,waking up every day with ability to see .people who loves us a lot of things ...just take a deep look .
I know it's hard, it's so damn hard, but please don't do it. I swear, someday you are going to leave this black hole. You will see light again, you will feel the rays of sunshine on your skin again, you'll feel the warmth in your heart again. I know life can be shit sometimes, or even more, but I swear the most wonderful thing in life is going to be the moment you'll be laughing, enjoying your life to the fullest and then the sudden realization hitting you that this is the moment you stayed alive for. This is the moment you waited for.
thank you guys! < 3
I’m glad you shared your feelings with us. Keep hanging in there. I know what it’s like and that’s why I found this video too. But what I also learned from a job I did for a long time was people need people like us to tell our stories so they can tell theirs. They need to hear they are normal. They need the kindness you can give them because you get it what it feels like to hurt. So don’t take that gift away from the world. Stay.
My heart hurts for you. No matter what you my feel or hear or whatever, you are beautiful and of great worth just as you were. One thing I wanted to tell my brother who died by suicide I will tell you now: it doesn't matter worth a damn to me if you're a "productive" human being or achieve a lot or whatever shit can define peoples' worth -- I care about you and your wellbeing simply because you are YOU. You're the youest of yous, and you cannot be replaced. You are wonderfully made -- intricately designed and perfectly loved. My hearts breaks for the pain you suffer, and I pray you experience healing and hope and even joy 💛
The only reason i havent ended it is because someone once told me “If you do, your dog will always wonder why mommy never came home.“
My cat is pretty much the only reason im still here
@@rattoota That's great, that's something. If no one told you today, I love you. Please don't give up, it in some ways, definitely gets better. Do the best you can do even if it's minimum. Surviving is hard too. Wishing you happy days and hope.
Love,
A stranger who cares just like your cat does:)
Well, same. Having the thought that no one will take care and love my dog the same as I do keeps me sane and stay alive😅
Yep here for my cat & snake always 💖
I care. I hope you're okay.
My mother committed suicide, and left these words in her poetry towards the end, and the family used it on her grave stone; “When we stop, the world goes on without us. This is eternity. This is joy. “ - It was her message to say that the true sense of peace is that we know the world will go on even if we are not here in it, that others will go on to remember us.
Edit; I just wanted to come back to this comment and say thank you so much for all of the likes and all of the positive responses. Although I have for a long time come to terms with my own grief, I hope that these words in my experience can bring hope to others who have lived as a survivor.
Bless
Oh noo. :(
I wish mine had left a note :)
@@Airhead247 I do not know if it was a note or just her poetry that our family placed on her grave plaque.
I'm truly sorry for your loss
@@ralitsadimitrova824 Not a loss really because I was too young to know her but more like an empty space that was never filled.
Commenting now because its been sometime since ive recovered myself. I lost my uncle, then my brother 2 years ago. I felt broken already but it had felt too much. It wasnt long after when i would just lay down after work and stare at the ceiling depressed that i had come across this video. It tore at me because of how much my own thoughts that kept me from doing something terrible aligned with the words from this video. It helped me push myself to move forward and actually live.
If you're struggling in life, things will get better eventually, but lying around and doing nothing won't be the cause of it. Never do something that is impossible to take back.
This is the most important video I've watched all year long.
God bless you.
I'm glad you like it
It really is. I’ve been contemplating suicide for the last year and this gutted me. Made me see things in a very different way. Forced me to really think about what my children & parents would feel or possibly go through. Cried the whole way through.
@@Gracem2013 I hope you feel better. You still have an amazing life ahead of you! And you’ll get past this!
@@Gracem2013 I’m glad you’re here. I’ve been in this position before- some suggestions, sit down with yourself in a peaceful setting and just have a moment to think about your feelings. Even crying is a good option. Remember- you’re loved, you matter, and it’s okay to have emotions.
A few years ago I was suicidal, and I Video called my parents. I didn’t expect to tell them how I felt, i never wanted them to know, I just wanted to talk to them. But eventually it came out: how I hated my job, how I hated myself, how I was being bullied and ignored, how absolutely alone I felt. I said “some days I actually contemplate killing myself.”
The look on their face made me immediately regret feeling that way. They looked terrified. Truly scared for me. Their fear scared me, I realized how broken they’d be if I left the world.
No parent should have to bury their child.
I’ve never even thought about suicide since.
@@sophieramati Hey, it's okay. Even if I know nothing about you, they care about you. Even if this is said to everyone who's parent don't love them, it's true. They love you, and they don't want anything wrong to happen to you. They might not understand what you're going through, but you change the world for good just by being here. You're not alone in this world, but someday, I'm hopeful that they'll realize how to help you and make you feel better. I hope you do.
“no parent should have to bury their child”.
it’s so simple but that one line just goes round my head every time it crosses my mind. it doesn’t always stop me but gives me guilt.
@@sophieramati hey! I know you don't know me and I dont know you, but please know that there is ALWAYS someone who loves you. There is always someone who's life is worse without you in it. No matter who you are, you have just as much potential as anyone else to do something in someone's life. You are so much more valuable and important than you'll ever know. So just do your best. Stay strong. I know you probably hear that a lot but just allow yourself to be sad, then learn and grow from it. You got this❤🙏🏼
@@sophieramati my parents reacts the same way but they add a bit more of insults and slapping but deep down i know they care alot about me and that they probably are in denial and don't know how to act and they probably are blaming and questioning themselves what went wrong. That itself gave me a reason to stay.
I can relate to this. This Friday I spilled my thoughts to my mom and her face of fear and grief will always remain with me and be a reminder that she doesn’t want to have bury me
The hurt in this is palpable enough to make the listeners cry
I agree😭
I am sobbing 😭 damn got me
Yeah, totally. Definetely. T_T
😶🙌
not me reading this while crying 👩🦼
Sometimes, I think of attempts but never actually make one, for more than a year ago until now. I even make a joke, for myself, that it’d be “interesting” to see people I know cry in my funeral.
I also think of self-harm and find it an “exciting” way to understand depressed people a little bit. But it’d be annoying if someone find out so I still didn’t it.
However, I seriously think, I realize, no I admit, that deep down, I’m always aware of my cruelty. Because if I suicide, it means I betray my own life, betray my parents, my friends (I wonder if they consider me a friend too).
Unlike others, I don’t get top scores but I don’t even try either. I know I can do better but I’m always tired of making a single effort and I hate that attitude of mine. My parents hardly ask me to get an excellent mark, they just support me to try harder. This hits me hard. Because I don’t bother to give them a “gift”, regardless physically or spiritually, as a thanks but just a heavy burden that is me. So what can I do? If I’m dead, they’ll feel sad (won’t they); but if I’m alive, they can’t relax either. I should’ve not been born from the very beginning.
That’s why I’m different from suicidal people. They’re victim of life itself while I am a selfish weirdo. You see, even bad guy like me isn’t dead yet then why should you? Remember, you tried for your entire life to be alive, you deserve the best and don’t call yourself worthless. I hope y’all will see the beauty of the world soon. Good luck!
I wish you luck too friend. It's tough to live, and you are not selfish for feeling the way you do. The brain is so complex, sometimes it, like people, makes mistakes.
“Suicide doesn’t end the chances of life getting worse, it eliminates the possibility of it ever getting any better.” -unknown
Nothing has ever hit this hard.
Thanks
Sometimes, life never gets better no matter how hard you try. It just gets worse
@@SamuelBlack84 don’t say that... One day, it’ll be better!
@@serendipity6726 we can only hope, but sometimes for some people suicide can give them peace. It would be wrong to tell them to stick around for something that pains then and that committing suicide is bad
Love how strangers in UA-cam comment sections are more caring than most of our parents.
😢
And that just broke my heart how our own parents don’t understand us , they act like we are the one who is creating all this thoughts just to gain attention
Indeed💔
@@GoddessChristinaRose I agree sad but true and I will kill myself
@@Hp15023 My mother yelled at me when I told her how I was feeling. Albeit, I told her at the wrong time, when she was already upset with me for losing my stupid invisilign which I hated. But still, it reminds me of how even she won't care.
It isn't the feeling of wanting to be dead, it's the feeling of not wanting to carry the burden of the pain anymore, knowing that this plane of existence isn't my home, knowing I did the best with what I was given, I played the hand I was given. Yet to everyone that mattered I was never enough
you're enough to someone.
@fancydeer oh how I wish that were actually true, stuck in a storm always that I'm drowning in from the abuse and pain, , ,
Exactly.
I don't know you, but you're enough to me and I love you because you're a fellow human being just trying to survive. One of these days you'll not only survive, but thrive.
You don't have to be enough for anyone but you, and if you give your best and people don't recognize it or is not enough for them that's not a you problem, that's their.
I wouldn’t say this video saved me, but I watched it when I was at my lowest. It, moved me. It didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know, ppl would be hurt if I left. But, something abt how they said it all.. “I fall in love with:” also u got me with the poor dog😞
Im still here cuz of God, i thank Jesus for saving me. God bless u all. Keeping living, even if it seems hopeless. Jesus will never lose hope in you.
This is beautiful in a sad way.
it is called dark Romantic
It is bittersweet
Dare I say melancholy?
babybbbb That was the word I thought... but dark romantic sounds better.
@@eduardochavacano i can see that
I had a close family member kill himself. I still remember the sobs of his mother, how his father sat there and stared at the floor with an empty, depressed look. I remember tearfully having to explain to my 6 year old brother that his favorite cousin wasn’t coming back. I remember the effort we all put in to make sure his sister didn’t learn about it until we could say it gently. I remember my usually poker faced dad shed tears. I remember his birthday a few months later, when his favorite song played on the radio and I had to pull over to cry.
I used to have the same thoughts, but when this happened...man it was a real slap of reality. I can’t put my family through that. I can’t make the people who care about me suffer.
Continue being strong, do not give up, always give yourself another chance and some more years get help with people you know and therapy
Pls don't make me feel guilty for trying
I CAME TO THIS VIDEO BECAUSE 5 DAYS AGO MY DAUGHTER TOOK HER LIFE.I KNOW SHE DIDNT WANT TO.I KNOW SHE REALLY DIDNT WANT US TO GO THRU THIS GRIEF.BUT IT WAS THE ONLY WAY SHE KNEW TO STOP THE DEMON INSIDE HER HEAD.ONLY WAY HER PAIN COULD STOP.JESUS KEEP MY GIRL SAFE AND SECURE AND LOVED TILL MOMMY MEETS U AGAIN BABYGIRL.😢😢😢😢😢😢😢💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
@@shebalimmugs7896 NO WE DONT WANT ANYONE TO FEEL GUILTY.WE ONLY WANT THEM TO KNOW WE CARE WE LOVE WE WANT U TO BE ALIVE.🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
@headz THANK U SO MUCH MEANS ALOT.🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏SHE WAS DOING WELL BEFORE THANKSGIVING CAME.THAN SHE GOT SCAMMED BY A PERSON ONLINE.FROM THERE IT TOOK A TOLL ON HER.THERE WAS NO COMING BACK FROM IT.😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
living with depression and anxiety is a constant cycle and struggle of "I don't want to live" and "I don't want to die". It does keep me alive but I'm tired from being controlled by both
I feel the exact same, having to deal with both is so overwhelming at times :/ I hope you're doing better since this comment
SAME, at the moment I’m thinking of suicide, I think you can guess why I’m even watching this video
I'm in your boat... Just I learned for me it's like a jumping ball... the harder you smash into the ground, the higher you can bounce and soar for a while... I learned to accept that I will hit the floor again and it will be painful, but as I stopped myself from trying to not fall to the ground, it doesn't hurt less but it's a shorter phase and the times that I can enjoy life get longer and more colorful.
I whish I had wings, but that's just not what I am right now... eventually I'll come across someone giving me wings, but until then I'll keep on bouncing sometimes higher and harder, sometimes lower and gentle
Same here. The only thing that keeps me from doing it is the people that I know will suffer my death
You want your own choice.
I started hallucinating when I was about nine. I understood the concept of hallucinations, but I was always in prison. Fast forward to about five years later, I had just finished seventh grade, probably the most dramatic and difficult time of my life. I know a friend who’s going through a lot, and I can one hundred percent relate. I hit myself with my lunchbox every single time after lunch because I couldn’t bear to do anything. From the constant racism, to the classes that I felt like I didn’t understand, I spent hours just staying up trying to finish my homework. Here I am now, where it’s almost the end of the summer break, where I have to go through the same thing next year.
I hope your going better now, or at the very least, still hanging on. It's such a hard time in middle/high school
🫂❤
My mom committed suicide when I was five. I wonder if she would have felt the same the morning after. Never lose hope
💜
I am sorry to hear that. I want you to know that she’ll be alright , watching you from below. 💛
not sure
i tried to kms on 28th of august and havent fell in love ever since with life, only with a boy but he decide theres so much more than me so theres no meaning on life, only my cats.
u mean so much and even if u think no one cares, i care and i promise you all the other ppl in ur life care. i hope ur in a better place rn and i hope u can understand how loved and needed u r
@@cigarettediet1185 you've apparently been struggling for a long time... i really hope that tomorrow will be a better day for you :') also i love cats, they're so cute
i started crying uncontrollably at the brother part and couldn’t stop. i feel so guilty abt having suicidal thoughts i never ever want to put my little brother through that oh my god. this is such a beautiful piece and i know will never fail to make me emotional
There's nothing for you to feel guilty about for having suicidal thoughts. In fact, you should feel pride in yourself for having those thoughts but not giving into them. You display great selflessness in resisting those thoughts for the sake of your brother and other people that care about you and love you.
My baby brother, sister, and mom are the only people who kept me from committing. I imagine the pain they would feel if I went through with it and I would feel guilty if I would pass my pain off to them. Not because I think it’s cowardly, but because I could not imagine how I would affect their lives, and the lives of their potential future children as well. I’m still fighting it, but I feel much better today than I did last year.
I also cried abou this part, though I don't have suicidal thoughts anymore it reminds me of a time when I did and I'm glad that I'm still here so I know my little brothers will never have to go through it.
@@starbéreux I know my friends and family will be sad but I can't keep living here I just have to go
@@lukecohen9833 Hey, don’t say that. You still have a purpose in this world. You are loved. I advice that you seek help.🙏🏽
My big sister committed suicide about a month and a half ago and as someone who's struggled with mental health, this piece really hit hard. You got me all choked up and teary.
sorry for your loss, I hope you get through this
Sorry for your loss
sorry for your loss
So sorry for your loss. Another poem that helps is one called "The Day You Died Because You Wanted To."
@@cbjones538 what's that one
Came back to this 3 years later, and I know I will keep coming back to this,to thank the person who wrote this beautiful peace and to thank Illness even more for creating this video. The first time that I watched this video, it changed something in me and 3 years later when I'm absolutely free from depression and those thoughts I'm back here again with so much of love for this, can't thank you enough for creating this Illneas💖
This was a wonderful way to tell people, including me, to celebrate their lives, who are living on the edge right now.
sending you love
We love you🤗🤗
The only way to receive true happiness is to be born again.Jesus loves you and is coming back to earth soon.You need to repent.Please believe and spread the word...
Meditate 🧘♀️ it really helped me ❤️
When they started talking about the dog, it broke my heart. My dog is the main reason I’m still here and I just, damn that hurt.
if you need help go talk to your friends, family and people you trust, life can be great and will get even better after the pandemic ends so do not waste it and life have a lot of good experiences and memories that are gonna make you think it was all worth it, a lot of people who tried to end their lives remember that they changed their mind and are happy to be alive, if necessary search for help in the internet and if you can afford it call a therapist "ending your life is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" also do not be shy to call for help
@Diella shalom Akimana Stop please y'all are annoying I swear. If your religion gives you solace that doesn't mean that it'll for everyone else. If there's a god, then he couldn't care less really
@@palemink there is a god who loves all of us even people like you. And he cares so much. :)
@@ducks.s You see, I have nothing against religious people. Just please be civil and don't force your religion on me everytime I'm being suicidal etc. If praying helps you, that doesn't mean that it'd help everyone else.
@@palemink no one was forcing it upon you. They are stating things. True things. Instead of saying Jesus loves you to make you more comfortable, we Love you.
Completely honest here. Some days are so shit when I say “I don’t leave my bed” I don’t leave my bed at all. Not for the bathroom not for food not for anything at all, I just want to be dead. Some therapists have helped but not much the thoughts always come back. I’m so happy this came up on my timeline on shit a shitty morning- I might go and decorate for Christmas instead of tying a noose today. Thank you so much for letting me and my family have one more good day together- and for the first time in a while I want to have more good days with them.
Thanks
I'm glad you stayed. Keep fighting!!
There’s an alternate life you wish you were living. I dare you to live it
you will make it through this. you have so many more people to meet and beautiful things to see. everyone is so proud of you. keep going, you got this!
It's not easy but it gets better i promise!! I am happy for you🤍🤍🤍
I've been in the exact same spot for weeks now. im even losing weight bc I don't leave my bed for anything this sucks
“With my brother, who once believed in unicorns but now sits at his desk at school trying desperately to believe that I still exist.”
Absolutely broke me. I couldn’t hold it together anymore. Anytime I consider giving up I just think about what I’d be putting my family through and then I just can’t do it. That would be such an easily avoidable pain.
My friend of 15 years committed suicide yesterday. He was only 29 years old. His older brother died 10 years ago in a car accident, and his younger brother died 5 years ago due to cancer. Their mom lost all 3 of her sons in a 10 year span and none of them made it to 30. I can’t stop crying wondering if there is something I could have done, but on the other hand I’m also happy at the thought of him being with his brothers again and having the most beautiful reunion together. I can just imagine them talking and hugging and messing around together today. I loved them and they were like my brothers. His poor parents… all their kids are gone. I just needed to get this off my chest
Thanks for sharing, and I'm so sorry for your loss. You are a very strong person to confess what happened. How are you doing mentally?
I feel so pity that people are facing these things and i can't even help them. I wish i could help even one person who's facing these type of situations
I'm so sorry to hear this. So sorry for his parents and for you. Love lives on, longer than the pain.
Owwww sorry to hear that love. In 10 years my older brother committed suicide. I've lost 3 of my cousins. I've lost 2 of my uncles one with committed suicide other one from cancer. One of my best friend hang himself like a year ago and I am having a anxiety depression and panic attacks now. Having problems with my mental health. I am doing my best to stay strong coz nun of us going to live forever and we need to live a good life in our future. Always trying my best to stay away from the bad thoughts and keep myself positive but when I think about them I get the anxiety depression and suicidal thoughts. When I read your comment here the tears just dropped of my eyes. We all should stay strong and positive
@@ulastoprak i feel you. During the pandemic where me and my family had much more free time than usual, the time we spent together feels unreal. As time goes by, various kinds of news flew past our ears. There is good news like marriage, but there is also bad news like the sudden death of a family member. The many deaths that I heard made me think that none of this was real. Then I realized that we only get to live in this world for a very short time, to soon may be forgotten...
“I hope there are days when your coffee tastes like magic,
Your playlist makes you dance,
Strangers make you smile,
And the night sky touches your soul.
I hope that you fall in love with being alive again.”
(unfortunately i dont know the author of this piece (edit: someone said it’s by brooke hampton) but i think it’s really beautiful. When i first found it, it was exactly what i needed to hear. And maybe it’s what someone else needs to hear, too. Stay save, everybody.)
Beautiful quote, thank you!
I had to search it, it's Brooke Hampton
That was beautiful, thanks for sharing 💖
That is also a beautiful poem, thanks fur sharing! 💖
I did thank you 💞🌹😪💔🩸
how... how can i fall in love with being alive again, when i never truly have in the first place?
Brain: Suicide is the answer, it won't hurt anymore.
Heart: But my dog will forever be searching for me.
I love you. Please stay. You are an amazing person and you deserve happiness
Please stay and finish out your life's purpose. You are loved and needed here by all ❤️
@@assassin2550 shut up.
@@dragonstudioproductions1398 your life also doesn't matter
@UCm38yfvxJrbvkLJhK8bFgrg 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣r u an ok😑
I always come back to this, Whenever it get gets recommended-I watch it. Sometimes better, other times worse, I watch it and feel the progree I have made, forward or backward. Today, tears didn't fell, Today I finally commented on this. It has been four years from when I first started this cycle. It always makes it way back to me.
i was 13, i never expected to ever make it to 15 or even 14. I'm 17 now. I'm still here. I'm still here. I'm still here.
Thanks for being alive, darling. I'm so proud of you.
the video made me tear up but this comment made me break down. i'm so proud of you, lovely human, thank you for being here. i am turning 17 tomorrow and i feel the same.
I know how it feels. And I'm just glad that we can still observe the beauty of this world and enjoy small and big things, when we thought we wouldn't even make it to this day.
I was also 13. I also never expected to make it farther than 14. I’m also 17, and still here. Still here. We’re still here. I’m proud of you. You keep going, pal, and I will too. We’ll try our best.
I’m so glad you’re here! We are so proud of you!! You made it and you’ll make a long way. God bless you dear!
My friend killed himself 3 days ago. He was only 15. I found out the morning later. I was never really close to him but I had so much fun with him, and he was never really open with his darker side. He was always smiling and laughing even though he would sometimes make edgy jokes about suicide, but nothing too much. Although we, his friends, knew he wasn't in a good mental state, we didn't really think it was THIS bad. His closest friends knew he wanted to off himself but never knew when he would do it. The night he did it he climbed on a rooftop of a mall with a friend. Both of them tried to kill themselves. They left a message to others and they quickly figured out what was going on, so they called the police. Meanwhile the girl that went with him chaned her mind. She was telling him not to do it. Then the police came. He just jumped.
This broke me 🥺
...
I hope that everyone who knew him, including you, are coping healthily. Dealing with that is horrible.
😢 that is heartbreaking...
We’re never joking
It hurts when people think we are
One of my favourite teachers killed himself around 9 months ago and it almost seemed like nobody in my class even cared. Most of them were joking and laughing, happy to have a "day off" (god bless the gym teacher for bringing the news and then letting us do what we wanted in the gym area).
Honestly, it took quite a lot of help from people to convince me I couldn't have prevented it and especially for me to not join him. I still feel bad now, and angry for my classmates not being there at all. None of them even showed up to an optional ceremony to him in our central area, but it really has made me appreciate my friends, family and teachers more.
Even now, I sometimes look at busses or cars riding past, or down from a high story in my school, and I am just so done and think about doing it, but I just feel so.
Ashamed of it.
Even more of telling anybody that I know about this, because the only real knowledge I have about it is people calling him "selfish" for taking his own life. (I am so sorry for this, but I needed this off my chest, and saw other posts here.)
Please just remember, the only constant in life is change. No matter what your current situation is, it will change at some point. Hang on, try to find beauty and joy in life. Things will change. And the world is better with you in it! ❤
I'm sorry for your loss. It's absolutely true there's nothing you could have done to have prevented it, because the only person any of us ever has any control over is ourselves, and sometimes even that's difficult to reconcile. I'm sorry your classmates chose the easy way out of handling his loss and pretended not to care - I'm sure some of them do, but don't know how to talk about it or want the others to know - but it's not an unusual reaction. It's typical of the young to go on about their business because it's too hard for them to process, but you're your own person, and very brave. You have a right to be angry at them. It's also easier for people to say he was "selfish" than to try to understand what he might have been feeling or thinking, or to recognize that he was in so much pain dying seemed like a better option than staying alive. You have a right to think about it or to try and understand, and you have a right to talk about it, even if you only keep a journal and write about it for yourself. Please don't be sorry about it, and please don't hesistate to reach out for help when it gets too heavy to carry by yourself - the world needs more people like you, not less. ❤
There is no guilt in wanting to end it he was not selfish you are not selfish it's just it doesn't make sense life doesn't make sense
What a tragic, awful thing--and shocking that your classmates are so callous. Please, please believe that your life will get better; when you're a kid or a teenager, you have almost no power over your own life, but as you get older you will earn your own money and be able to control where and how you live, choose who gets to be in your life, and do the things that are important to you and make you happy. It's impossible to see ahead from where you are now, but trust those of us who have gone ahead of you, it gets so much better.
I am so sorry to hear that! Also please don't k*ll yourself it's not worth it🥺
Sometimes I just wonder how I will never be able explain to anyone why every now and then I sit straight and listening to it on a loop.
I totally understand you...did the same today all day...take care
It's sad how much I come here every time I want to end things. I'm afraid I'll end up regretting it, so I come here to remind myself that I can't go back if I try it.
I hope everyone will find their own happiness.
If you're reading this, don't give up. Cuz I'm trying my best to not give up too. Let's win this together.
m.ua-cam.com/video/tePHyfIR3KM/v-deo.html 💗💗💗
A MEN brother
❤️❤️❤️
I am trying... but I'm tired. Let's see...
@@danutasilman2327 Hold on. You're a light, stay ❤️
An interesting treatment of a somber subject. An old friend killed himself 26 November and I wondered whether - given the option - would he try to “unkill” himself?
Sorry for your loss
I'm so sorry :(
I am so sorry for your loss of your friend.
hugs ♡ he probably would
I'm praying for you and him, and everyone he unknowingly passed his pain on to.
I am here to thank you. This was the final pull that helped me to overcome the depression. The day after watching this I told my parents about everything, and we talked long. We found a therapist who helped me. I am still fighting, but no longer I have the desire to die. You have no idea how grateful I am.
I remember watching this and crying my eyes out. This pulled a special string of my heart.
All I could think about was how much I didn't want to die.
Again, thank you!
Take care friend, I wish you the best
I am the Mom of a Veteran Suicide. There are no words in any language to express the loss. My heart now lives in heaven with Nathan.
Stay. We need you. You are precious, valuable and worthy.
NO! Your parents would NOT be better off without you. ♡♡
Jesus loves you so much. You are worth dying for, please, if you don’t want your life give it to Jesus. You are worthy. You are enough. Invite Jesus, there’s nothing to lose but everything to gain. You are so beautiful and worthy. If I could go on my knees and tell you how worthy you are I would. You are worth the blood of Jesus. Please Stay, God has big plans for you🤍
Awww, glad your doing okay! You got this, your strong! (=
Please keep us updated on your journey 💜 I hope you are doing well and I'm so glad you're taking steps to make yourself better :)
This has helped me so much when I was at my very lowest low. Now I watch it whenever I feel it, and it's always made me realize that I have to keep on living
same here, i wanted to give up multiple times because of school.
im 12 almost 13 and sitting here on this earth helpless.
School has been draining me and i cant seem to stop myself from hurting myself or having severe anxiety attacks.
I cant seem to tell my parents anything and my therapist isnt helping, but this video certainly helped me be a bit more positive and reminded me why i should keep going.
@@skibidiOhioFanumTaxer I feel you. I'm 17 almost 18. Got diagnosed with depression when I was 10.
It's been a journey and I've felt so many of the same things you do, like school being draining, feeling like my therapist is not helping and not having anyone I could rely on to open up to.
Sometimes I still wish I could just die, but we just have to keep on going.
I'm not here to say that everything is perfect, and sometimes I slip into my old ways, but it's getting better.
If you let yourself live, you might just realize all the positives in life.
If you still feel like this in high school, take a gap year to find yourself before going to college.
You got this! Know that I will be rooting for you from afar! ❤