the scariest thing for me is that it *isnt* as easy as it feels, theres always a chance you could survive an attempt, and a major chance in it that youll be left in a terrible, terrible state.
@@KathiOsborn yup. When I try I was so scared. The fact that after the TRY, I didn't have anyone to tell. Anyone that would care. Or if I tryed to seek conform in telling someone they wouldn't care. That just worked almost like gasoline to a car, Unluckily that had an impact on my pysche and on myself, because someone with 12 should not be wanting to end this place.
Is it better to exist in suffering or to not exist at all? Feel pain or lose the ability to feel Also, yeah I believe there is purpose. not gonna go on a eight paragraph long rant, but for something to exist, there is something that has to be eternal (God). And that thing that's eternal, made us. Nothing is ever made just for.. nothing. It feels hopeless at times, but there is a purpose. There is reason everyone goes through the things they do.
I know nobody will ever read this. But the fact that so many other comments are here in the last few days gives me, almost a small bit of comfort. I've had, such, an incredibly terrible year. I started it almost homeless. My family has left me. I have never been more alone in my life, in my 24 years here. I have never felt more unhappy. But I want to live. I want to keep on going, I want to see a tomorrow that's better. But it's hard, you know? I wanna talk to more people, but then they push me away. I want to learn art in different ways, but feel so lost about it with even less help. But I want, I WANT to survive. I joke to myself that I'll find that forever person, the soul to match the missing pieces I know I've lost years ago. Decades even. That gives me a small bit of strength. I have to go to bed right now for a morning shift, taking a long bus-ride to work, then a long bus-ride back. It's always empty. It's always lonely. I have no service on my phone when I take the trek, and even when I get to work, I have no friends to talk to. It's... rough. But then I read all the other comments here, all these other lost sparks who are just as forgotten, or uncared about as me. And honestly? I want you, reading this, to know that I care about you. There is only ONE you. There will only ever be one version of me. There will only ever be one version of you. Even if we're all grains of sand on this dirty ass beach we call life, we're still all unique. I pray and hope that you and I can find peace. If not from a god, then from another soul. Stay strong. Let out your tears when you need to. I have boundless love to give, but nobody to give it to. But you, reading this? In this moment, I can say we're friends. Thank you, if you did read this. You have no idea how much it means to me. - Squall E.
thank you, Squall E. this means a lot. My year hasn’t been the best either, I’ve lost my dog, I’m scared to death of losing my friends, and I’m horrified of one day ending it all for some stupid, petty reason. But this comforts me as well, as twisted as it sounds. Just knowing there’s others who can be helped or others who can relate, makes me only want to help them more, at least in any way I can. I’m glad UA-cam showed me this video and this comment, and I hope and pray everything will be better for the fellow sufferers and for you as well. Hope to meet you again, stranger
You're a kindred spirit, you're an unseen friend who I send my sincere best wishes to, for what it's worth. Your words are touching and appreciated. Thank you. Please look after yourself
I dunno you, but had major depressive episodes as well and arguably was where you are (sort of). If you have watched Chainsaw Man, reduced to someone like Denji, weirdly such a fucked up story gave me hop, he would just continue to live for warm food or having a nice bed available. sometimes, that is all that can make your day. Taking a shower, having a nice meal, having a good phone call with a friend or family. Eveerything is useless. If you fuck up at your job will mean nothing in 100 years. the biggest corporations will be moot in 100 years too probably, every achievement will be swallowed by oblivion at one point. might as well live, right? this is still copium, but it is the better alternative to just ending it now. I would NOT recommend to read the conspiracy against the human race by Thomas Ligotti, usually horror author (I love horror), but it is almost more of a philosophical essay, just how we are sort of unnatural things and our consciousness dooms us to know about our death and we do not really have a reason to continue, hence suicide. in a way, that book confirmed my pessimistic views, but if essentially the point of the book is, nothing matters, better end it now, almost defiantly, it made me appreciate life more. Kierkegaard is also interesting: If you read "Sickness unto Death" by him, he asks almost the same questions as Ligotti, as the biggest problems we have is not realizing we are desparate, then the problem of deseparately wanting to be someone else or to be yourself, but not being able to. the answer to this (obviously, since he was christian) is faith. Now that might be something that works for you or not, but you could put something else in place of faith, i.e. camus absurdism or nietzschean hedonism or rather making up your own values, it might be out of pure spite (almost like a Sith that just feeds on hatred or pain like Sion in KOTOR 2) or something else. I mean we all, the whole freaking universe is going to die anyway, right? so despite all the loss, pain and so on, maybe lets continue to live anyway? I had a pretty shit vacation where I vomited all over the place, probably food poisoning. This made me realize how fragile our bodies are actually, that the difference between death and life can sometimes be a dumb incident like getting infected by something you otherwise might have never encountered or not staying hydrated by a mere 100 ml that might make or brake it for your body. Tiny, miniscule stuff like that. And that sort of puts things in perspective... I had missed my flight, the airline had lost my luggage, I was sick in another country, just praying to make it to the next day in the sense that the water I drank to stay hydrated stays in. And despite that (quite literally) shitty situation, I managed to enjoy the sunshine on one day, to savor the food I ate (and later regurgitated) and thought: "well, even with this pain of existing, of our weak, fallible, frail bodies, life is worht living". IDK, just rambling now, but maybe you can find situations like that too. I sort of see this as my villain era sort of... I am not really happy with my life, yet in principle, everything is taken care of, I have a job, enough money to actually go on vacation and so on, yet no meaningful relationships to speak of, not happy with where I am right now in life and so on and yet I go on, just thinking about how I might piss off peers or family and yet not giving a single fuck. I just live for myself, doing what makes me happy, trying what I can get away with (i.e. becoming bolder, setting boundaries, maybe starting shit just for the fun of it, cause that can also be situations where you feel "alive") and so on. Maybe that helps too, even if a little unconventional. Maybe keep on living just to know how bad the middle east war will get or climate change. Sounds like the really asshole thing to say, not being the noble "I am gonna save shit" but rather "let me grab my popcorn and see just how fucked up this absurd existence and non-existence we cause actually is". sometimes being the observer is enough to center your thoughts, to get a clear head (actually a concept in buddhism as well... sort of if I am interpreting that correctly).
Your comment touched my heart, and I feel compelled to write back to you because I have known that kind of loneliness. In fact I was rather intimate with it for many, many years. Modern society has made a mockery of Jesus, and man has made a mockery of his church (for the most part). So what I'm about to say next has been ingrained in young minds to be trite, and simple bullshit, BUT! Turn to Jesus. He IS the Way, the TRUTH, and the Life. He IS living. He does love you. He is waiting outside the door to your heart, but he is not going to push the door open, you must open it to him. I'm turning 50 years old in a few days. From the outside, my appearance is completely average, my intelligent slightly higher than most, I'm mildly introverted, but not socially awkward. I last dated a girl when I was 21, she broke my heart, and I haven't actively pursued a relationship since. For 25 years after, I was a functioning alcoholic, and my only social life was a distant brother, and online gaming, but by the grace of God I finally saw the light and sobered up 4 years ago. What lessons have I learned? That I have never been alone. That even when I wasn't aware of, or actively seeking his presence, Jesus was there. Patiently waiting for me to open the door. With the acknowledgement of his presence I don't feel alone, in fact I have found contentment (for the most part, life can be a bitch sometimes). So I humbly request that you forget about any preconceived notions that you have of Jesus, find a Bible (www.biblestudytools.com/), read the NIV, or ESV versions because the King James translation is just hard to understand. Go to the Book of John in the New Testament and read about Christ. Learn what he is trying to teach mankind, and finally realize that he did live, that he does live, and that he is THE TRUTH. I pray these words find you, and that you will at least, with an open mind and heart read the Book of John.
I have severe depression and I’ve been thinking a lot more about suicide. I don’t want to die yet, but I don’t want to live either. I’m stuck in an endless loop of agony and loneliness.
Hey, I used to suffer from severe depression too It's painful waking up everyday as a husk, not knowing the purpose why you still live I have a question for you, do you have someone to talk about your problems?
@@D00m3r3tt3Saying that doesn't help someone who's in such a place. If someone is ready to kill themselves it means they've lost all hope. So saying something like "it can always gets better" is literally ineffective because they are incapable of believing that to be true. Especially if their life has proven to them over and over that it never gets better.
"We create meaning, we decide that life is worth meaning, not because the universe had a plan for us, but because we chose to fight against its indifference." Well said.
I'll tell you morr, youtube knows when you fall asleep. So I was watching shadiversity video about swords and shit at 3 am, I accidentally fell asleep and when in the morning I checked my phone I saw opened youtube and finished 3 hour long "sounds of rainforest for sleep" video
I assume there is a specific program running that pairs people who have searched for, shall we say, non-monetizable terms, and uplifting videos about meaning, the philosophy of life, etc. If you are here, you know why...
@@passportkaya they don't think too much about it because of religions, middle east is the most fanatic zone of the world in terms of religion. Remember suicide is considered a big sin
@@AAA-ee3fl not true. I lived more than half of my life in middle east. I know exactly how it is more than you and 90% of all people especially on UA-cam.
@@AAA-ee3fl suicide is not considered a sin middle East. It's considered a warrior act especially if it's done by a man. You need to study more about middle East if u r gonna talk about it to a middle East expert like me. Over and out.
It’s incredible to finally assign a name to this feeling. I’ve experienced “the call of the void” a lot. Almost gave in to it a couple times. But the fact remains that I am here. I am rebelling against the void and creating a meaning for my own life. I really want to get better. Thank you, creator, for giving me such a new perspective on my own life on a random Tuesday night. Much love, Enby 💚
@@dinoooooom If you do it, which I hope you don't, but if you do, I hope it is your last resort and I hope it is worth it, friend. I don't think it will ever be worth it, maybe it is worth it to some though.
I feel like this voice will eventually get louder as you age no matter how fun life will be eventually you'll stop and your body will ache of chronic pain and the worst of all is feeling of regret
accept, love and forgive yourself and you won't have any regrets anymore. Sad part is most do this on their death beds. Or never do it at all. Its probably the biggest reasons for peoples depression
thank you for this beautiful and timely video. have been really close recently to taking that leap, but before I ever take action, the thought of “why die now? you have plenty of time to die” always finds me. having that choice, one so big as choosing whether I live or die is what has made me realize that I have full freedom and control over how my story unfolds, like the freedom you describe in this video. felt validating to have this be expressed by someone else. I think I’ll try to be brave, and live in defiance of this calling. truly, thanks
Be brave because the Government is Holding your Hand for 5 years you can rest assured you can sit back and relax and let the Government do the Job for you after this is done its for someone else to take the hot seat
This video truly summarizes my feelings for the past few years now. I usually don't comment on youtube videos but this one's special. I want to leave a comment to remind myself of this. Whenever I feel like I want to end it, I want to be reminded of how free I actually am.
I don’t know if you’re still here but there is meaning, & not to sound preachy but there is something after this short time we have here. Christ loves you.
yo hey person who deals with those thoughts daily here (actually not so much now since i got help) don’t commit suicide i tried that and almost died i dunno how to explain it but death is not the answer that’s the only thing i can really think to say i know it’s cliche but still
@@winterwulf1995 Back when I was in highschool, I got pretty close to deleting myself. But through a series of difficult events, I caught a glimpse of true beauty, it was enough for me to want to live again.
I’ve been doing shitty for 3 years straight, and I’m kinda hopeless, and for 3 years the thought has always been in the back of my head “what if you just..” and I feel nothing, but I don’t want to die, I want to be happy I want to find a reason to live for myself not just living for others. I’ve tried to fix myself and I don’t know what to do I opened up, I drew it, I wrote it, I did everything. I told my parents 3 years ago and they dismissed me and did nothing. I’m completely hopeless and I just wanna find something to help, other than small distractions I want a solution. But I don’t even know if it’s possible. I’m still a teenager, and I want to live, I wanna see the future I wanna have a bf and be loved and have my first kiss and get a dog and get a cool job. But I’m stuck in this cycle that somehow is getting worse
i really needed this video right now. I have recently come the closest i have ever been to ending my own life. I feel like this video has given me a push back in the right direction, thank you
@@TheGamer-ry5ib I wish I had something good to say, but I agree. Unless you are living out of spite, or for a person or idea equally as strong (or more), the call of the void is quite enticing. Find something worth living for, if you can't find one you won't make it.
@@commenter621 its not imaginary that there is no god... there is lots of scientific evidence for it, no scientific evidence that proves there is a god though. When the evidence says "this is true and its opposite is not true". The majority of people tend to listen to that evidence.
@@commenter621 God not being real isnt imgainary. I don't have to imagine a god not existing because everyday of my life he is nowhere to be found. Therefore god is imaginary. God not existing is a fact with verifiable evidence, and you're just butthurt you couldn't think of a better comeback.
"True, so do I. But realistically, neither you nor I are going to do it, not because we don't have the balls to do it, but simply because we don't really want to." - Felix Kafner
@@winterwulf1995are you living out of spite then? Ever considered the possibility of surviving your attempt? Ever tried facing your problems instead of seeking an easy way out? Ever thought what will happen afterwards? Are you getting bullied, are you homeless, are you in debt, or are you just Selfish?
@4:29 if it wasn't for my brother still needing me i'd have swolled a bunch of my meds decades ago. i live not for myself but my brothers, my father and yes even for my abusive mother..... "i can't afford not to care anymore...." i need to keep living for those who would be left behind by my actions. i can't afford to give up on life, even if i really want to. my life isn't my own anymore....
The scary part of standing on a ledge of a tall building, it's not worrying that you'll fall off, it's actually the fear that you might want to jump off. What scared me is that I really wanted to do it. The greatest beauty i've had is dying. I don't care anymore whether I live or die. I accept my death. I will take the entire Universe with me. There won't be any suffering because I'm taking you all with me.
But don’t suicide is never the answer the odds of you even being here are 1 in 400 trillion you can have kids and there kids can have kids so much life can be given because of you
If it wasnt for my dog, I may not have ever written this comment. When I think of blasting myself, I remember I have a dog who needs food. My dog kinda just stumbled into my life. I never went to a shelter or a pet store. A police officer was going door to door trying to give the puppy a home. about 5 years later I'm here. I was originally in construction when I took him in. I had a picture on my phone that I'd stare at on my breaks to help keep me motivated back then because my foremen was a jerk. I lost my job during covid and went to work in retail. Luckily my co workers there weren't horrible and it was a good experience for me. since 2022 I now work in IT from home and its been a good 2 years. I get to be with my dog every day. I do wish I wasn't so lonely but at least my dog keeps me company and gives me a reason to keep going.
The funny thing is how senseless it is to live, “life has no value, but nothing is more valuable than life”, the desire to live is irrational, at I least I can’t find an answer, but I for sure want to live. The call of the void is not something that I have experienced too much, the pain, the unbearable suffering is something I’ve tried to scape -in successive act of cowardice- through many different ways but death is not usually one of them. I’m ranting but, on the topic, I find it interesting to notice that even if the question “why should I live?” Does not haves an obvious answer (even though one could say “for happiness, love, pleasure…?”), the other question; “why should I not live?” does not have an easy answer either, in fact, it can be answer with the opposite of the answers of the other question; you shouldn’t live because of pain, suffering stress, sadness, etc.. but you should live because happiness, love, pleasure, bliss… isn’t it strange? There is a sort of “equilibrium”, an utilitarian trap, if you want to, in which there are just as many reasons to live as to not do it, maybe that’s a way of defining the so called “meaninglessness of living/life/existance”, there is just no possible way of knowing what’s better, there is no “value” or “moral value”, it’s just nothing, a blind choice, I don’t think there is any chance of “resisting the absurd” because the absurd is the very experience of being alive, it just makes no sense, it’s a casualty, the pain is washed with happiness and the happiness with pain, truth is that, living for certain things/feelings or dying for certain others it’s strange choice (though I don’t think I’m expressing myself properly), what’s more valuable; pain or happiness? do they value just the same? do they have any value at all? Questions I cannot answer, I guess. And I guess, too, that it does not really matters, for now I’ll go blind, I choose to live, even if there’s no difference, because, for me, the pain is bearable as long as I can chase and fight for my dreams, as long as I can love, the way I feel it, the “good” things win or feel more valuable than the “bad” ones, honestly, I don’t want to think about it anymore, I have other problems, great video btw!
Life's value is its purpose, its purpose it to live, reproduce, and die, and if you can impact humanity is a positive was then that works too. The point of living is to continue to have your species live. We exist to exist.
diversity of the psyches has already begun to narrow; Unity is well underway. This video is one snippet of proof. This archetype of content is only going to grow in number, as will the individuals The soul of the masses is tired, the void calls for a halt to this ceaseless wheel that is life. To those of us who are precursors, our obligation is to accelerate this process Minimizing any further anguish. I am Vayne, “rep.” Of the void; I am you, and this is accountability calling on the grandest of scales.
There are at the moment 3 things that keep me going: 1) My friends and family, who'd be sad that I'm no longer around 2) I think I can change this world for the better, even just a little bit 3) I want to find out what comes next just mirbid curiosity
Ive been at a point where i didnt actively think about "joining the void" but was in situations where i wondered..."If i do this step, i will join the void and it will be an accident. I didnt do it, it happened" Im doing way better now, 3 years of lots of hard work and suffering and i am happier. I am engaged, i have two cats, a nice job. I did not think i would ever see this. Now i just sometimes wonder about loosing my fiance to some horrible accident but i think thats another point and a different thing to work on. PS: Just as i wrote this, one of my cats brought me his favorite toy he likes to hunt / play with. A squeaky mouse. That moment is precious to me and if you read this, you will also experience moments like that. You just need to keep going
Living for others is pointless, they'll just exploit you if you do that, humanity is predatory by nature. Just reducing the amount of suffering the ones close to you go through, and on non-human beings is pretty much the only thing worth doing. Life is pointless.
Nah your view is as naïve as overly positive optimists. Science proves humans are as altruistic and prone to mutual aid as to competition: it varies depending on external factors. I will just say this: Ted Kaczynski was right.
The way I think of it, the concept of meaning itself is unnatural. It is born out of our ability to think, plan, reason and make connections being so hightened that we experience distress when we don't see connections, when things don't make sense. Even to the point we create gods and study science. Because we want things to make sense. It is entirely human-centric. We are only ones who experience meaning, and thus, we are the only ones who give things meaning. We don't choose things because they are special, much rather, they are special because we choose them, because we decided they are special.
This video really help, this recomendation really scared me, and just finished seeing the video only one thing comes to my mind: I will make life worth for me, I swear
Its difficult. I've been suicidal for about a decade now. My teenage years just seemed like a constant tumble from one awful place to an even worse one. Whenever I thought things might be changing for the better, reality proved otherwise. Years of abuse left me hating myself and the world around me. I managed to get away from the terrible place I was in, and things have finally improved in my life, but those years have left their scars. Occasionally I still find myself falling into the same despair I lived in every day back then. The self hatred and self destructive thoughts come back. I think about death and suicide often. Not daily like I used to, but still 3-4 days out of the week at least. In those moments, the idea of death isn't scary, but comforting. Death is peace and quiet. Not just an escape from the world around me, but an escape from myself. But I remember I've been through worse. I tell myself that one day I will do it, once the weight of everything becomes too much to bare, but today isn't that day. Tomorrow probably wont be either. Nor the day after that. The day it becomes too much may or not ever come, but that day is not today. Until that day comes, I'll try to make the most of things. Its all i can really do.
If anybody is out there going through somethings, just keep living please. One of my best friends entered the void. Definitely changed my outlook on life. Even though I don’t know you, I love you
As someone who still questions if it's depression or just lack of sleep combined with overthinking, I have not reached this state (yet). And the thought that I can still reach it is scary, especially because I barely know a thing about depression. I've wished to become a temporary spectator of someone's life, or to sleep for three months straight. I'm doing what most 'class clowns' do, try to keep other people happy because you don't want them to feel like you. A different video once tought me that I can be a spark in someone's life without doing anything. Without any intended interacion, without me even knowing that I made someone feel better just because of the smile on my face. Even if I wont ever find my true self, this right here might be my actual true self. Thank you for making this video, algorithm did a good job.
"pulling the trigger is just like turning out a light.... in one breath, one second.... shorter than that time it would take to blink one last time, then you're gone..... just like taking the step off the ledge" Haven't heard the term "call of the void" for a handful of years now, but I did need to see and hear this so thank you and God bless.
Anyone else having a severe mental crisis at 9:02 pm on September 22nd 2024 and alll of the sudden your algorithm begins to show u vids to explain to u why u shouldn’t even tho it’s only you experiencing the problems that causes this feeling even through this vid u still have a choice u still have to forgive ur self for what others did to u You have to find the resolve even tho when u can’t believe it even tho the ones who make reality hard the ones who to the evil deeds ?
These are the feelings I live with, and have lived with for years. I will offer you no words of comfort for I know none. Life is suffering, and suffering is purpose, therefore life is purpose. Believing this I know my fate, it is to live until I die, and nothing more.
You're not imagining things. You get served these vids based on your search history. It's actually one of the most benign uses of surveillance tech I've ever seen. I hope whoever came up with it got at least a lunch out of it.
0:11 i actually start thinking that even tho i wanna stop existing after that one step yet there's possibilities of my survival afterwards with a few broken bones, so i step back and start calculating for the one with no comebacks and I guess I'll keep calculating for quite a while. Reality is messy or I'm just dum
@@MrCmon113 yeah would go to a hill station, find a deep sharp decent cliff more of a secluded one to avoid attention, keeping it for the next call. That one is definitely gonna work or there's always burning yourself to death laying back in the closet but you gotta agree mountains are just the best. Anyways, I'm staying for a bit, it seems fun to work hard for nothing or just for the sake of it or its just the idea of things being fun, pretty awesome it is. Have a good time ahead.
smoking on the ceiling while looking down is so relatable (also no need to tell me to quite smoking cuz it will kill cuz that was the main reason i started in the first place), but personally i can't relate to the quote of "sometimes even to live is an act of courage", for me, it's more of an act of laziness and undecisiveness to not even have the will and energy to try commit suicide again, i just exist as a spectator in my own life hoping days and weeks and months come and go fast enough to reach the end of it all, even changing my life around didn't work and went back to my old bad habits shutting myself out of the world, and through this all i still feel selfish because i never had any feelings or love to give to anybody and i don't expect and i keep repelling any love from anyone, whenever i look back into my life i always look into a pathetic person that i loath and wish it was some another sould was put into my body so it actually "taste" life because i'm incapable of it, and even in a brief period a few years ago when i felt some happiness, it was filled with a lot of sense of regret being absent from life the whole time that i don't even want to chase happiness or fulfillement anymore, just existing until i don't while loathing the person who i am
The suffering simply just isn’t worth it. When I die I won’t have to live everyday in pain, I won’t have to live with myself. I won’t have to work, I won’t have to sleep, I won’t have to worry about money or health. I won’t have to fight so hard everyday just to barely scrape by. I’m too stressed and miserable to continue my education or hold a stable job, I am completely useless and contribute nothing to society, and everytime I try to do something even just pick up a hobby it’s too hard or painful for me to continue and I break down like the failure I am. I’m just weak and useless. There’s absolutely no point in continuing to live on with my life when I know I’m better off dead. I wont have to worry about what my family or friends think when Im dead, they will eventually just forget about me and then suffering will be over. I don’t see why I shouldn’t do it.
In deep meditation I realized, that you can't do anything wrong. My teacher always says: "God is or he isn't." that means, everything you do or happens is in the will of god. Realizing that gives you peace and freedom, because everything happens for our greater good. God loves us regardles of what we do. And with every mistake we do we learn. The call of the void is, in my perception a great oportunity to embrace the death (before it actually happens), we all have to face at some point in our life but when we accept the challenge and go deeper into this feeling, discovering it, it will burn up our ego self and our karma, bursting the chains that keep us stuck in the past and with that happening we become a vessel for our higher self, for god. I don't know anything, I don't even know if I want to live anymore but today I keep going, I don't have to bare my suffering for the rest of my life, because I am a free soul, but I choose to accept life how it is for this moment, everything else is up to god, he made me, he guides me. And if one day I am truly done and I really can't take it anymore, he/I will know and he/I will forgive me.
You know what scares me the most. Train Stations. Feeling the weight of those Train Wheels is so overwhelming my body wants to jump under the Train and my Mind says "oh hell nah". Like they always fight and my Soul in third person gets to watch the inner fight. I dont know how to describe it but thats what I define Call of the Void.
The worst thing a person can do right now is... to Give Up! You will go through great times in life and horrible times. No one said life is easy but at the same time you only have one life. You don't get a second chance. You go through a rough patch in your life, You got to always keep moving forward. Better times will come.
when the void calls me but i remember i gotta learn japanese so i can watch the last episode of one piece without subtitles, and also so i can hit the gym… the void calls, but i force myself to listen to the light
If only people embraced the call of the void in everyday circumstances we might shape the world to being a better place. People that have nothing to lose or simply aren't afraid of death can be dangerous but in contrast it also says I won't be taken advantage of.
y'know. listening to this after having had the most insane, horrific, suicidal-thought-filled night not even 3 days ago is weirdly comforting. it's logic, not comfort, telling me not to die, that makes me feel like i should keep living. so for the time being, i will.
I'll struggle with the loneliness, the disappointment of life, the meaningless minutes of this world and keep living because someone sacrificed his happiness and peace so I could live. Thank you dad, I won't do it. Not ever again.
I always think about it being a possibility of “Anywhere But Here” but I try to find ways to motivate myself to keep going. Even is there is nothing that makes me happy. I also don’t want to hurt my family and the ones I love.
I feel like youtube can read my mind. I'm 13 dealing with depression and suicide thoughts. I dont want to commit it but my brain is obsessed with it or something... Yesterday I told my theripist and hopefully things get better. Im scared but im trying. My characters I drew is what is let alone keeping me alive. I vent and process things through them and stuff.
To anybody that is thinking of ending it, please don't , fight on , i share your pain its a hard ole life here, people pretend it isnt, but it is and the fact you got this far is a credit, remember you are loved even if you cannot feel it much, internet can make things worse sometimes and loneliness is a huge burden on your shoulders, I love you all brothers and sisters , keep fighting, nothing is easy!
I generally don't feel like dying voluntarily, and the world...seems contingent on me doing what I say I intend to do, but, I don't really care about anyone in a way that matters, and vice versa I just sit around stagnating and declining while I'm stuck in a rut and life pushes me around like a rag doll I'm not just stoic while occasionally freaked; I'm bored and effectively anhedonic and desperate for self-contentment
I think about it for a long time but deeply more about it since january of this year and since my birthday in spring i feel this call, its sounds comforting, in a way. I know people who truly cared about me will miss me but when you are so empty and remorseful, and hate yourself deeply you only wish to hurt your loved ones or to hurt yourself and when you cant tolerate yourself anymore you do both. And the most painful one is to hurt your loved ones
Sometimes i want to answer the void on my own terms because i'm scared that it'll take me on its own in a much more terrifying way, and i know it's not far, constantly looming and waiting for all the unfortunate events and mistakes in my life to catch up to me.
Hear me out guys, we have been dead for billion of years and will be dead for another billion years so can't we just accept everything which comes at us !? Our efforts would not matter so isnt its the best part ? Whatever we do, no one will be alive to judge us,so cant we just live happily by accepting everything which come at us? Happiness is not laugh and giggle its about acceptance and peacefulness. Peace .
For me it’s just intrusive thoughts like “ I wonder if i… nah I’m not that dumb.” Kinda like if I think “I wonder what’d happen if I punched that guy in the nuts, screamed and ran out the room?” It’s a thought but it’s a dumb one
Probably based on previous videos you watched or songs you listened, or words you searched or sites you visited... or the webcam thing if thats actually a thing.
It’s not the way. It will get better. Believe that. The pain goes away. You can have great friends, you do have have people you love and people that love you. It isn’t worth it. Let me tell you the only thing scarier than continuing living is missing what the world has to offer.
I'm going to be pretty honest here. A few months ago, I drove my car off the road to end my life. I failed, and you want to know what I found out? It does get better. Those around you will support you and will care for you. Don't be afraid to speak out. You can always call 911 or your country's equivalent to get help. Please don't make the same stupid choice I did. There is always tomorrow; there is always another chance. Keep moving forward, if not for yourself or those around you, then to spite the very idea of death itself.
But it will give me relief to know that people who could never be bothered to properly care during my life will be MADE to deal with it. They’ll probably lose everything from having to deal with my demise, and that prospect brings me glee.
Such a intriguing fucking video I love it. Also it recommended me verly specifically when I was thinking about going to the void. Thanks man ly you saved many souls
that was indeed a pretty specific recommendation.
Lmao
quite
Indubitably
Indeed.
"The thought of suicide is a great consolation: by means of it, one gets through many a dark night."
the scariest thing for me is that it *isnt* as easy as it feels, theres always a chance you could survive an attempt, and a major chance in it that youll be left in a terrible, terrible state.
yeah fr. gladly that didn't happen to me
I think that's what stops many from taking the chance at leaving this clown world.
@@KathiOsborn yup. When I try I was so scared. The fact that after the TRY, I didn't have anyone to tell. Anyone that would care. Or if I tryed to seek conform in telling someone they wouldn't care.
That just worked almost like gasoline to a car, Unluckily that had an impact on my pysche and on myself, because someone with 12 should not be wanting to end this place.
make it guaranteed
that's why I will make 120% sure there's no coming back from it, if I ever decide to go down that road
Algorithm has my back this night
Stay strong.
You got this. Don't give up.
The algorithm always has your back (;
Hope this night too❤
@@shonzu04 Stay strong.
Props to you for not saying “unalive”
Seriously, there's dozens of ways for people to express the concept of life ending, and youtubers/tiktokers landed on "unalive"
It was ironically coined by Deadpool mocking said censorship.
@@honeycomblord9384 "And you landed on McLovin?" Ahh comment lol
@@Possums_Rcool didn't even realize that LMAO
@@A_Hylian_Not_An_Elf when?
"To live another day could be a heroic act on itself"
Words to live by. I will remember it. Thank you.
And yet the "coward's way out" requires commitment. Some hero you are.
i truly believe the worst thing in existence is suffering without purpose.
it is, especially with daily physical chronic pains as well
Fun fact: we only have one birthday, others are just congratulations for surviving
@@pavlo5551 damn
Is it better to exist in suffering or to not exist at all? Feel pain or lose the ability to feel
Also, yeah I believe there is purpose. not gonna go on a eight paragraph long rant, but for something to exist, there is something that has to be eternal (God). And that thing that's eternal, made us. Nothing is ever made just for.. nothing. It feels hopeless at times, but there is a purpose. There is reason everyone goes through the things they do.
Suffering is the purpose 😈😈
I know nobody will ever read this. But the fact that so many other comments are here in the last few days gives me, almost a small bit of comfort. I've had, such, an incredibly terrible year. I started it almost homeless. My family has left me. I have never been more alone in my life, in my 24 years here. I have never felt more unhappy. But I want to live. I want to keep on going, I want to see a tomorrow that's better. But it's hard, you know? I wanna talk to more people, but then they push me away. I want to learn art in different ways, but feel so lost about it with even less help. But I want, I WANT to survive. I joke to myself that I'll find that forever person, the soul to match the missing pieces I know I've lost years ago. Decades even. That gives me a small bit of strength. I have to go to bed right now for a morning shift, taking a long bus-ride to work, then a long bus-ride back. It's always empty. It's always lonely. I have no service on my phone when I take the trek, and even when I get to work, I have no friends to talk to. It's... rough. But then I read all the other comments here, all these other lost sparks who are just as forgotten, or uncared about as me. And honestly? I want you, reading this, to know that I care about you. There is only ONE you. There will only ever be one version of me. There will only ever be one version of you. Even if we're all grains of sand on this dirty ass beach we call life, we're still all unique. I pray and hope that you and I can find peace. If not from a god, then from another soul. Stay strong. Let out your tears when you need to. I have boundless love to give, but nobody to give it to. But you, reading this? In this moment, I can say we're friends. Thank you, if you did read this. You have no idea how much it means to me. - Squall E.
thank you, Squall E. this means a lot. My year hasn’t been the best either, I’ve lost my dog, I’m scared to death of losing my friends, and I’m horrified of one day ending it all for some stupid, petty reason. But this comforts me as well, as twisted as it sounds. Just knowing there’s others who can be helped or others who can relate, makes me only want to help them more, at least in any way I can.
I’m glad UA-cam showed me this video and this comment, and I hope and pray everything will be better for the fellow sufferers and for you as well.
Hope to meet you again, stranger
You're a kindred spirit, you're an unseen friend who I send my sincere best wishes to, for what it's worth. Your words are touching and appreciated. Thank you. Please look after yourself
I dunno you, but had major depressive episodes as well and arguably was where you are (sort of). If you have watched Chainsaw Man, reduced to someone like Denji, weirdly such a fucked up story gave me hop, he would just continue to live for warm food or having a nice bed available. sometimes, that is all that can make your day. Taking a shower, having a nice meal, having a good phone call with a friend or family. Eveerything is useless. If you fuck up at your job will mean nothing in 100 years. the biggest corporations will be moot in 100 years too probably, every achievement will be swallowed by oblivion at one point. might as well live, right? this is still copium, but it is the better alternative to just ending it now. I would NOT recommend to read the conspiracy against the human race by Thomas Ligotti, usually horror author (I love horror), but it is almost more of a philosophical essay, just how we are sort of unnatural things and our consciousness dooms us to know about our death and we do not really have a reason to continue, hence suicide. in a way, that book confirmed my pessimistic views, but if essentially the point of the book is, nothing matters, better end it now, almost defiantly, it made me appreciate life more. Kierkegaard is also interesting: If you read "Sickness unto Death" by him, he asks almost the same questions as Ligotti, as the biggest problems we have is not realizing we are desparate, then the problem of deseparately wanting to be someone else or to be yourself, but not being able to. the answer to this (obviously, since he was christian) is faith. Now that might be something that works for you or not, but you could put something else in place of faith, i.e. camus absurdism or nietzschean hedonism or rather making up your own values, it might be out of pure spite (almost like a Sith that just feeds on hatred or pain like Sion in KOTOR 2) or something else. I mean we all, the whole freaking universe is going to die anyway, right? so despite all the loss, pain and so on, maybe lets continue to live anyway? I had a pretty shit vacation where I vomited all over the place, probably food poisoning. This made me realize how fragile our bodies are actually, that the difference between death and life can sometimes be a dumb incident like getting infected by something you otherwise might have never encountered or not staying hydrated by a mere 100 ml that might make or brake it for your body. Tiny, miniscule stuff like that. And that sort of puts things in perspective... I had missed my flight, the airline had lost my luggage, I was sick in another country, just praying to make it to the next day in the sense that the water I drank to stay hydrated stays in. And despite that (quite literally) shitty situation, I managed to enjoy the sunshine on one day, to savor the food I ate (and later regurgitated) and thought: "well, even with this pain of existing, of our weak, fallible, frail bodies, life is worht living". IDK, just rambling now, but maybe you can find situations like that too. I sort of see this as my villain era sort of... I am not really happy with my life, yet in principle, everything is taken care of, I have a job, enough money to actually go on vacation and so on, yet no meaningful relationships to speak of, not happy with where I am right now in life and so on and yet I go on, just thinking about how I might piss off peers or family and yet not giving a single fuck. I just live for myself, doing what makes me happy, trying what I can get away with (i.e. becoming bolder, setting boundaries, maybe starting shit just for the fun of it, cause that can also be situations where you feel "alive") and so on. Maybe that helps too, even if a little unconventional. Maybe keep on living just to know how bad the middle east war will get or climate change. Sounds like the really asshole thing to say, not being the noble "I am gonna save shit" but rather "let me grab my popcorn and see just how fucked up this absurd existence and non-existence we cause actually is". sometimes being the observer is enough to center your thoughts, to get a clear head (actually a concept in buddhism as well... sort of if I am interpreting that correctly).
Your comment touched my heart, and I feel compelled to write back to you because I have known that kind of loneliness. In fact I was rather intimate with it for many, many years.
Modern society has made a mockery of Jesus, and man has made a mockery of his church (for the most part). So what I'm about to say next has been ingrained in young minds to be trite, and simple bullshit, BUT! Turn to Jesus. He IS the Way, the TRUTH, and the Life. He IS living. He does love you. He is waiting outside the door to your heart, but he is not going to push the door open, you must open it to him.
I'm turning 50 years old in a few days. From the outside, my appearance is completely average, my intelligent slightly higher than most, I'm mildly introverted, but not socially awkward. I last dated a girl when I was 21, she broke my heart, and I haven't actively pursued a relationship since. For 25 years after, I was a functioning alcoholic, and my only social life was a distant brother, and online gaming, but by the grace of God I finally saw the light and sobered up 4 years ago.
What lessons have I learned? That I have never been alone. That even when I wasn't aware of, or actively seeking his presence, Jesus was there. Patiently waiting for me to open the door. With the acknowledgement of his presence I don't feel alone, in fact I have found contentment (for the most part, life can be a bitch sometimes).
So I humbly request that you forget about any preconceived notions that you have of Jesus, find a Bible (www.biblestudytools.com/), read the NIV, or ESV versions because the King James translation is just hard to understand. Go to the Book of John in the New Testament and read about Christ. Learn what he is trying to teach mankind, and finally realize that he did live, that he does live, and that he is THE TRUTH. I pray these words find you, and that you will at least, with an open mind and heart read the Book of John.
♥
I have severe depression and I’ve been thinking a lot more about suicide. I don’t want to die yet, but I don’t want to live either. I’m stuck in an endless loop of agony and loneliness.
I'm in the same boat I wouldn't consider myself severely depressed but I am tired I simply want out because of the absurdity
depression is such a bitch
i don't know the right approach to this type of stuff but i suggest to talk to someone (or me since i want to lol) and/or enjoying the nature
Hey, I used to suffer from severe depression too
It's painful waking up everyday as a husk, not knowing the purpose why you still live
I have a question for you, do you have someone to talk about your problems?
At least wait and see who wins the election first.
I feel the pull harder and harder each day. The older I've become the harder its to ignore it. I'm just so tired.
Kyllä sää selviät :D
I know the feeling man, don't worry, shit gets tough but shit can always get better
for real. the pessimism is starting to kick in.
dont
@@D00m3r3tt3Saying that doesn't help someone who's in such a place. If someone is ready to kill themselves it means they've lost all hope. So saying something like "it can always gets better" is literally ineffective because they are incapable of believing that to be true. Especially if their life has proven to them over and over that it never gets better.
"We create meaning, we decide that life is worth meaning, not because the universe had a plan for us, but because we chose to fight against its indifference."
Well said.
My most radical belief is that everything's going to be okay.
Real
Life will teach you better
@@winterwulf1995 amen
111 likes on this comment, nice
@@winterwulf1995 Why is that?
Gotta love how UA-cam curated this to me and only over 400 others (at this time). UA-cam knows us better than we think.
I'll tell you morr, youtube knows when you fall asleep. So I was watching shadiversity video about swords and shit at 3 am, I accidentally fell asleep and when in the morning I checked my phone I saw opened youtube and finished 3 hour long "sounds of rainforest for sleep" video
I assume there is a specific program running that pairs people who have searched for, shall we say, non-monetizable terms, and uplifting videos about meaning, the philosophy of life, etc.
If you are here, you know why...
@@Kyrgizion i have not searched anything related to that within the past year
Nah. Just enough to know when to herd the flock back to pasture. Tomorrow's a work day.
@@Kyrgizion the worst I’ve searched is Signalis and russian post punk lol
Average eastern European afternoon
Nah try middle east
@@passportkaya they don't think too much about it because of religions, middle east is the most fanatic zone of the world in terms of religion. Remember suicide is considered a big sin
@@passportkayaatleast that's the image we have about them in occident
@@AAA-ee3fl not true. I lived more than half of my life in middle east. I know exactly how it is more than you and 90% of all people especially on UA-cam.
@@AAA-ee3fl suicide is not considered a sin middle East. It's considered a warrior act especially if it's done by a man. You need to study more about middle East if u r gonna talk about it to a middle East expert like me. Over and out.
It’s incredible to finally assign a name to this feeling. I’ve experienced “the call of the void” a lot. Almost gave in to it a couple times. But the fact remains that I am here. I am rebelling against the void and creating a meaning for my own life. I really want to get better. Thank you, creator, for giving me such a new perspective on my own life on a random Tuesday night. Much love, Enby 💚
It’s comforting to know that I can just do it though. It’s nice knowing that it’s always an option, going out on my terms
Someday, but not today
no
never
Hopefully soon
(as in like, for myself)
@dionoooooom it’s not worth it dude 🫂 Idk you but I’m always here if you need to talk
@@dinoooooom dude dont do it
@@dinoooooom If you do it, which I hope you don't, but if you do, I hope it is your last resort and I hope it is worth it, friend. I don't think it will ever be worth it, maybe it is worth it to some though.
I only live out of spite.
as good of a reason as any, struggle on fellow struggler
I only live to drink sprite
I only live out of sight.
FELLOW STRUGGLERS! I ACKNOWLEDGE YOU!
"they said the world would be better off without me, which is why I chose to keep living" 🗣🗣💯💯
I feel like this voice will eventually get louder as you age no matter how fun life will be eventually you'll stop and your body will ache of chronic pain and the worst of all is feeling of regret
That's when you fight back, the voice is a siren's call, luring you to do it but in actuality, it's a trap
Resist it, fight it, you will win
accept, love and forgive yourself and you won't have any regrets anymore. Sad part is most do this on their death beds. Or never do it at all. Its probably the biggest reasons for peoples depression
"Sometimes even to live is an act of courage" is a quote I'd never thought I'd need to hear
I genuinely could not have been recommended this at a better time, idk how it caught me the exact day I've started genuinely considering this.
thank you for this beautiful and timely video. have been really close recently to taking that leap, but before I ever take action, the thought of “why die now? you have plenty of time to die” always finds me. having that choice, one so big as choosing whether I live or die is what has made me realize that I have full freedom and control over how my story unfolds, like the freedom you describe in this video. felt validating to have this be expressed by someone else. I think I’ll try to be brave, and live in defiance of this calling.
truly, thanks
You are brave already :) thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts
Be brave because the Government is Holding your Hand for 5 years you can rest assured you can sit back and relax and let the Government do the Job for you after this is done its for someone else to take the hot seat
lets switch it on its head Call of the Government
@@lawrup ?
UA-cam knows people better than their family
Big data tech knows us better than ourselves
True my family keep telling me to get on with it
I was really sad today but not that bad. Idk how they would know that all I did was search videos on therapy
Ya….. (I’m better now ish but a couple of years ago……..)
Ikr, that’s the saddest part
6:08 "Sometimes, just making it to tomorrow is the most heroic thing that we can do." Damn, that actually hit.
This video truly summarizes my feelings for the past few years now. I usually don't comment on youtube videos but this one's special. I want to leave a comment to remind myself of this. Whenever I feel like I want to end it, I want to be reminded of how free I actually am.
This doesn't make me want to live. The void call is strong.
Think about how many extraordinary creations you will never see or hear. Even if you think no one will cry after you're gone, you're wrong.
@olkoso nothing matters now. Nothing matters after. Everything is meaningless
I don’t know if you’re still here but there is meaning, & not to sound preachy but there is something after this short time we have here. Christ loves you.
cringe
yo hey person who deals with those thoughts daily here (actually not so much now since i got help)
don’t commit suicide
i tried that and almost died
i dunno how to explain it but
death is not the answer
that’s the only thing i can really think to say
i know it’s cliche but still
Really makes me think, I don't have to live, I GET to live.
Tate parroting
We always live, even after this "life" there is no death, just a change is all.
Life ain't a reward or a gift
It's a punishment
@@KathiOsborncan you prove that?
@@winterwulf1995 Back when I was in highschool, I got pretty close to deleting myself. But through a series of difficult events, I caught a glimpse of true beauty, it was enough for me to want to live again.
I’ve been doing shitty for 3 years straight, and I’m kinda hopeless, and for 3 years the thought has always been in the back of my head “what if you just..” and I feel nothing, but I don’t want to die, I want to be happy I want to find a reason to live for myself not just living for others. I’ve tried to fix myself and I don’t know what to do I opened up, I drew it, I wrote it, I did everything. I told my parents 3 years ago and they dismissed me and did nothing. I’m completely hopeless and I just wanna find something to help, other than small distractions I want a solution. But I don’t even know if it’s possible. I’m still a teenager, and I want to live, I wanna see the future I wanna have a bf and be loved and have my first kiss and get a dog and get a cool job. But I’m stuck in this cycle that somehow is getting worse
It’s the poetry that keeps me going.
i really needed this video right now. I have recently come the closest i have ever been to ending my own life. I feel like this video has given me a push back in the right direction, thank you
It's easy to listen to the void once they start making a lot of sense
What makes you feel the void is making sense?
@@DuskBeforeDawn2008 There's security in the void. A safe feeling in knowing that you won't have to be anymore.
@@TheGamer-ry5ib I wish I had something good to say, but I agree. Unless you are living out of spite, or for a person or idea equally as strong (or more), the call of the void is quite enticing. Find something worth living for, if you can't find one you won't make it.
This. You get it.
@@TheGamer-ry5ibwhat makes you think it's true? We fear the death cause it's that thing we know nothing about.
thanks it aint another hyper chiristian "god loves you" bullcrap. this is actually nice video
But he does🙏🏻
but he doesn't exist. you're free to believe what you want, but most ppl are atheists. don't force your imaginary god onto others
@@lemmechilll Fine, but don't force your imaginary "there is no god" into others
@@commenter621 its not imaginary that there is no god... there is lots of scientific evidence for it, no scientific evidence that proves there is a god though. When the evidence says "this is true and its opposite is not true". The majority of people tend to listen to that evidence.
@@commenter621 God not being real isnt imgainary. I don't have to imagine a god not existing because everyday of my life he is nowhere to be found. Therefore god is imaginary. God not existing is a fact with verifiable evidence, and you're just butthurt you couldn't think of a better comeback.
"Don't do suicide, that stuff kills you" - Felix Kafner
"That's why I want to do it" - Me
"True, so do I. But realistically, neither you nor I are going to do it, not because we don't have the balls to do it, but simply because we don't really want to." - Felix Kafner
@@toma-t5eOh I want to I really really want to.
I'm just waiting for the perfect time when it will impact my family the most.
Christmastime
@@winterwulf1995 brother huh
@@winterwulf1995are you living out of spite then? Ever considered the possibility of surviving your attempt? Ever tried facing your problems instead of seeking an easy way out? Ever thought what will happen afterwards? Are you getting bullied, are you homeless, are you in debt, or are you just Selfish?
@4:29 if it wasn't for my brother still needing me i'd have swolled a bunch of my meds decades ago. i live not for myself but my brothers, my father and yes even for my abusive mother..... "i can't afford not to care anymore...." i need to keep living for those who would be left behind by my actions. i can't afford to give up on life, even if i really want to. my life isn't my own anymore....
Damn man I genuinely wish you the best in life even amongst all of the chaos
The scary part of standing on a ledge of a tall building, it's not worrying that you'll fall off, it's actually the fear that you might want to jump off.
What scared me is that I really wanted to do it. The greatest beauty i've had is dying. I don't care anymore whether I live or die. I accept my death. I will take the entire Universe with me. There won't be any suffering because I'm taking you all with me.
Ayo, omnicide? Let's go.
Please do not do it until you figure out a way to make it omnicide though.
Am I late to join?
Please do it i beg you
sorry mate but as a professional nature enjoyer i'll have to disagree
It's so good to find people like myself in these comments, to know that there are others feeling the same way.
But don’t suicide is never the answer the odds of you even being here are 1 in 400 trillion you can have kids and there kids can have kids so much life can be given because of you
@@TrulyFailedReal I'd rather die than play that game.
"I...I can't do it..."
Intrusive Thoughts: "LMAO, no balls!"
"Oh yeah, I'll show YOU no balls!"
*Leaps*
Good job making something dark seem very, very funny
Famous last words 😭
Thank you for making this video and thank you UA-cam algorithm.
People in the comments, I see you and I love you ❤
If it wasnt for my dog, I may not have ever written this comment. When I think of blasting myself, I remember I have a dog who needs food. My dog kinda just stumbled into my life. I never went to a shelter or a pet store. A police officer was going door to door trying to give the puppy a home. about 5 years later I'm here. I was originally in construction when I took him in. I had a picture on my phone that I'd stare at on my breaks to help keep me motivated back then because my foremen was a jerk. I lost my job during covid and went to work in retail. Luckily my co workers there weren't horrible and it was a good experience for me. since 2022 I now work in IT from home and its been a good 2 years. I get to be with my dog every day. I do wish I wasn't so lonely but at least my dog keeps me company and gives me a reason to keep going.
The funny thing is how senseless it is to live, “life has no value, but nothing is more valuable than life”, the desire to live is irrational, at I least I can’t find an answer, but I for sure want to live. The call of the void is not something that I have experienced too much, the pain, the unbearable suffering is something I’ve tried to scape -in successive act of cowardice- through many different ways but death is not usually one of them. I’m ranting but, on the topic, I find it interesting to notice that even if the question “why should I live?” Does not haves an obvious answer (even though one could say “for happiness, love, pleasure…?”), the other question; “why should I not live?” does not have an easy answer either, in fact, it can be answer with the opposite of the answers of the other question; you shouldn’t live because of pain, suffering stress, sadness, etc.. but you should live because happiness, love, pleasure, bliss… isn’t it strange? There is a sort of “equilibrium”, an utilitarian trap, if you want to, in which there are just as many reasons to live as to not do it, maybe that’s a way of defining the so called “meaninglessness of living/life/existance”, there is just no possible way of knowing what’s better, there is no “value” or “moral value”, it’s just nothing, a blind choice, I don’t think there is any chance of “resisting the absurd” because the absurd is the very experience of being alive, it just makes no sense, it’s a casualty, the pain is washed with happiness and the happiness with pain, truth is that, living for certain things/feelings or dying for certain others it’s strange choice (though I don’t think I’m expressing myself properly),
what’s more valuable; pain or happiness? do they value just the same? do they have any value at all? Questions I cannot answer, I guess. And I guess, too, that it does not really matters, for now I’ll go blind, I choose to live, even if there’s no difference, because, for me, the pain is bearable as long as I can chase and fight for my dreams, as long as I can love, the way I feel it, the “good” things win or feel more valuable than the “bad” ones, honestly, I don’t want to think about it anymore, I have other problems, great video btw!
Wow, I love your perspective on this topic and I really appreciate you sharing personal thoughts with me
Life's value is its purpose, its purpose it to live, reproduce, and die, and if you can impact humanity is a positive was then that works too. The point of living is to continue to have your species live. We exist to exist.
diversity of the psyches has already begun to narrow;
Unity is well underway.
This video is one snippet of proof.
This archetype of content is only going to grow in number, as will the individuals
The soul of the masses is tired, the void calls for a halt to this ceaseless wheel that is life.
To those of us who are precursors, our obligation is to accelerate this process
Minimizing any further anguish.
I am Vayne, “rep.” Of the void;
I am you, and this is accountability calling on the grandest of scales.
"life may be absurd but we are free to embrace that absurdity" - loved it!
Im glad you did :)
There are at the moment 3 things that keep me going:
1) My friends and family, who'd be sad that I'm no longer around
2) I think I can change this world for the better, even just a little bit
3) I want to find out what comes next just mirbid curiosity
It's only number 3 that keeps me going these days.
#1 for me, when my mother dies I’ll have nothing holding me back from taking the leap into the void
the fact that we even need to make up reasons to keep living bruh 💀🙏
@@iiCounted-op5jx tf u talking about?
@@schanulsiboi0837 did I stutter?
This showed up when i really needed this lifes been going downhill for me and i dont havr anywhere to go
This gives me a warm feeling that someone who actually was thinking of death. Was aged by this possibly
Saved not aged
Desire to dissappear is more consistent then studies
Ive been at a point where i didnt actively think about "joining the void" but was in situations where i wondered..."If i do this step, i will join the void and it will be an accident. I didnt do it, it happened"
Im doing way better now, 3 years of lots of hard work and suffering and i am happier. I am engaged, i have two cats, a nice job. I did not think i would ever see this.
Now i just sometimes wonder about loosing my fiance to some horrible accident but i think thats another point and a different thing to work on.
PS: Just as i wrote this, one of my cats brought me his favorite toy he likes to hunt / play with. A squeaky mouse. That moment is precious to me and if you read this, you will also experience moments like that. You just need to keep going
Living for others is pointless, they'll just exploit you if you do that, humanity is predatory by nature. Just reducing the amount of suffering the ones close to you go through, and on non-human beings is pretty much the only thing worth doing. Life is pointless.
Nah your view is as naïve as overly positive optimists. Science proves humans are as altruistic and prone to mutual aid as to competition: it varies depending on external factors. I will just say this: Ted Kaczynski was right.
The way I think of it, the concept of meaning itself is unnatural. It is born out of our ability to think, plan, reason and make connections being so hightened that we experience distress when we don't see connections, when things don't make sense. Even to the point we create gods and study science. Because we want things to make sense. It is entirely human-centric. We are only ones who experience meaning, and thus, we are the only ones who give things meaning. We don't choose things because they are special, much rather, they are special because we choose them, because we decided they are special.
That`s not true, it makes sense because only through others you can really experience life and yourself.
I disagree make life worth living not a pain in the ass.
dude who hurt you
This video really help, this recomendation really scared me, and just finished seeing the video only one thing comes to my mind: I will make life worth for me, I swear
Its difficult. I've been suicidal for about a decade now. My teenage years just seemed like a constant tumble from one awful place to an even worse one. Whenever I thought things might be changing for the better, reality proved otherwise. Years of abuse left me hating myself and the world around me. I managed to get away from the terrible place I was in, and things have finally improved in my life, but those years have left their scars. Occasionally I still find myself falling into the same despair I lived in every day back then. The self hatred and self destructive thoughts come back. I think about death and suicide often. Not daily like I used to, but still 3-4 days out of the week at least. In those moments, the idea of death isn't scary, but comforting. Death is peace and quiet. Not just an escape from the world around me, but an escape from myself. But I remember I've been through worse. I tell myself that one day I will do it, once the weight of everything becomes too much to bare, but today isn't that day. Tomorrow probably wont be either. Nor the day after that. The day it becomes too much may or not ever come, but that day is not today. Until that day comes, I'll try to make the most of things. Its all i can really do.
If anybody is out there going through somethings, just keep living please. One of my best friends entered the void. Definitely changed my outlook on life. Even though I don’t know you, I love you
I'm sorry for your loss, thank you for the kind comment
@@Absurdyssey2002Thank you 🙏🏽
Nah, you don't owe staying alive to anyone else.
I don’t see the point in living my worthless life anymore.
@@MrCmon113you owe it to yourself
As someone who still questions if it's depression or just lack of sleep combined with overthinking, I have not reached this state (yet).
And the thought that I can still reach it is scary, especially because I barely know a thing about depression.
I've wished to become a temporary spectator of someone's life, or to sleep for three months straight.
I'm doing what most 'class clowns' do, try to keep other people happy because you don't want them to feel like you.
A different video once tought me that I can be a spark in someone's life without doing anything.
Without any intended interacion, without me even knowing that I made someone feel better just because of the smile on my face.
Even if I wont ever find my true self, this right here might be my actual true self.
Thank you for making this video, algorithm did a good job.
"pulling the trigger is just like turning out a light.... in one breath, one second.... shorter than that time it would take to blink one last time, then you're gone..... just like taking the step off the ledge"
Haven't heard the term "call of the void" for a handful of years now, but I did need to see and hear this so thank you and God bless.
it's so hitting i almost cried watching this video.A life is really a fight a fight with yourself
as someone with depression i think about the S-word basicly every day but its kind of relieving to know i could end it if i want to.
Anyone else having a severe mental crisis at 9:02 pm on September 22nd 2024 and alll of the sudden your algorithm begins to show u vids to explain to u why u shouldn’t even tho it’s only you experiencing the problems that causes this feeling even through this vid u still have a choice u still have to forgive ur self for what others did to u
You have to find the resolve even tho when u can’t believe it even tho the ones who make reality hard the ones who to the evil deeds ?
These are the feelings I live with, and have lived with for years. I will offer you no words of comfort for I know none. Life is suffering, and suffering is purpose, therefore life is purpose. Believing this I know my fate, it is to live until I die, and nothing more.
Life is absurd
And Life is full of strangeness and bullshit
You're not imagining things. You get served these vids based on your search history. It's actually one of the most benign uses of surveillance tech I've ever seen. I hope whoever came up with it got at least a lunch out of it.
No I’m just here out of curiosity and I’ll be here cause I’m curious to see what happens tomorrow.
The world would honestly be better without me
Which is why I gotta keep living
A true king
Sigma moment
The algorithm brings us together again gentlemen
0:11 i actually start thinking that even tho i wanna stop existing after that one step yet there's possibilities of my survival afterwards with a few broken bones, so i step back and start calculating for the one with no comebacks and I guess I'll keep calculating for quite a while. Reality is messy or I'm just dum
reality is a mess, you're right about that. I'm glad you're still here, please keep being here.
Reality is messy, but dude, don't take the step. Find faith in Jesus, find purpose, keep going ❤
Yeah, that's the fifth floor. Why not look for some high cliff over rocks?
@@MrCmon113 yeah would go to a hill station, find a deep sharp decent cliff more of a secluded one to avoid attention, keeping it for the next call. That one is definitely gonna work or there's always burning yourself to death laying back in the closet but you gotta agree mountains are just the best. Anyways, I'm staying for a bit, it seems fun to work hard for nothing or just for the sake of it or its just the idea of things being fun, pretty awesome it is. Have a good time ahead.
Keep living
Do it out of pure. Unadulterated.
*S P I T E*
smoking on the ceiling while looking down is so relatable (also no need to tell me to quite smoking cuz it will kill cuz that was the main reason i started in the first place), but personally i can't relate to the quote of "sometimes even to live is an act of courage", for me, it's more of an act of laziness and undecisiveness to not even have the will and energy to try commit suicide again, i just exist as a spectator in my own life hoping days and weeks and months come and go fast enough to reach the end of it all, even changing my life around didn't work and went back to my old bad habits shutting myself out of the world, and through this all i still feel selfish because i never had any feelings or love to give to anybody and i don't expect and i keep repelling any love from anyone, whenever i look back into my life i always look into a pathetic person that i loath and wish it was some another sould was put into my body so it actually "taste" life because i'm incapable of it, and even in a brief period a few years ago when i felt some happiness, it was filled with a lot of sense of regret being absent from life the whole time that i don't even want to chase happiness or fulfillement anymore, just existing until i don't while loathing the person who i am
You saved me today. thank you
The suffering simply just isn’t worth it. When I die I won’t have to live everyday in pain, I won’t have to live with myself. I won’t have to work, I won’t have to sleep, I won’t have to worry about money or health. I won’t have to fight so hard everyday just to barely scrape by. I’m too stressed and miserable to continue my education or hold a stable job, I am completely useless and contribute nothing to society, and everytime I try to do something even just pick up a hobby it’s too hard or painful for me to continue and I break down like the failure I am. I’m just weak and useless. There’s absolutely no point in continuing to live on with my life when I know I’m better off dead. I wont have to worry about what my family or friends think when Im dead, they will eventually just forget about me and then suffering will be over. I don’t see why I shouldn’t do it.
The grass may not be greener on the other side.
@@igot5onit423but when at your side all the grass is already dead...?
There is no grass at the other side. It's nothingness.
You say all this and yet you hesitate. Are these words really your true feelings?
I feel the exact same
In deep meditation I realized, that you can't do anything wrong. My teacher always says: "God is or he isn't." that means, everything you do or happens is in the will of god. Realizing that gives you peace and freedom, because everything happens for our greater good. God loves us regardles of what we do. And with every mistake we do we learn. The call of the void is, in my perception a great oportunity to embrace the death (before it actually happens), we all have to face at some point in our life but when we accept the challenge and go deeper into this feeling, discovering it, it will burn up our ego self and our karma, bursting the chains that keep us stuck in the past and with that happening we become a vessel for our higher self, for god. I don't know anything, I don't even know if I want to live anymore but today I keep going, I don't have to bare my suffering for the rest of my life, because I am a free soul, but I choose to accept life how it is for this moment, everything else is up to god, he made me, he guides me. And if one day I am truly done and I really can't take it anymore, he/I will know and he/I will forgive me.
You know what scares me the most. Train Stations. Feeling the weight of those Train Wheels is so overwhelming my body wants to jump under the Train and my Mind says "oh hell nah". Like they always fight and my Soul in third person gets to watch the inner fight. I dont know how to describe it but thats what I define Call of the Void.
The worst thing a person can do right now is... to Give Up! You will go through great times in life and horrible times. No one said life is easy but at the same time you only have one life. You don't get a second chance. You go through a rough patch in your life, You got to always keep moving forward. Better times will come.
"Sometimes even to live is an act of courage." hits hard
idk why I got recommended this, but im sure someone needs it.
when the void calls me but i remember i gotta learn japanese so i can watch the last episode of one piece without subtitles, and also so i can hit the gym… the void calls, but i force myself to listen to the light
If only people embraced the call of the void in everyday circumstances we might shape the world to being a better place. People that have nothing to lose or simply aren't afraid of death can be dangerous but in contrast it also says I won't be taken advantage of.
thank you so much, I have Seasonal depression and it was about to kick in, thank you for making this video, and thanks to UA-cam algorithm too
y'know. listening to this after having had the most insane, horrific, suicidal-thought-filled night not even 3 days ago is weirdly comforting. it's logic, not comfort, telling me not to die, that makes me feel like i should keep living. so for the time being, i will.
Bro, it took me like 2 minutes to realise this isn't Sisyphus55.
🤣🤣🤣
Sissypuss69? What a strange people out there.
@@krzysztofcwik3793 he is quite the oddball.
The cost of burial is stronger than the call of the void.
I'll struggle with the loneliness, the disappointment of life, the meaningless minutes of this world and keep living because someone sacrificed his happiness and peace so I could live.
Thank you dad, I won't do it. Not ever again.
I always think about it being a possibility of “Anywhere But Here” but I try to find ways to motivate myself to keep going. Even is there is nothing that makes me happy. I also don’t want to hurt my family and the ones I love.
While I don't feel suicidal at all and overall am doing good, thanks regardless, I'm sure this has already helped loads of other people :D
Thanks Absurdy, and last but not least, the algorithm
I feel like youtube can read my mind. I'm 13 dealing with depression and suicide thoughts. I dont want to commit it but my brain is obsessed with it or something...
Yesterday I told my theripist and hopefully things get better. Im scared but im trying.
My characters I drew is what is let alone keeping me alive. I vent and process things through them and stuff.
i hope you're doing better
@@beamernimbus Thanks, that means a lot :)
I really hope you get better, I’m in the same situation rn
@@HandsomeYoungSir Thank you a lot. I am praying and here for you, don't worry, we can get through this.
@@YuriAnimations-y2i no, I don’t need to vent, I just hope both of us can make it out
Thank you, the timing on this was impeccable
To anybody that is thinking of ending it, please don't , fight on , i share your pain its a hard ole life here, people pretend it isnt, but it is and the fact you got this far is a credit, remember you are loved even if you cannot feel it much, internet can make things worse sometimes and loneliness is a huge burden on your shoulders, I love you all brothers and sisters , keep fighting, nothing is easy!
Thank you, thank you so much
I generally don't feel like dying voluntarily, and the world...seems contingent on me doing what I say I intend to do, but, I don't really care about anyone in a way that matters, and vice versa
I just sit around stagnating and declining while I'm stuck in a rut and life pushes me around like a rag doll
I'm not just stoic while occasionally freaked; I'm bored and effectively anhedonic and desperate for self-contentment
This made me cry but not because of sadness. tysm for making this
much love :)
This will be my first night in awhile where I won't have a self-existence crisis, thank you.
I think about it for a long time but deeply more about it since january of this year and since my birthday in spring i feel this call, its sounds comforting, in a way. I know people who truly cared about me will miss me but when you are so empty and remorseful, and hate yourself deeply you only wish to hurt your loved ones or to hurt yourself and when you cant tolerate yourself anymore you do both. And the most painful one is to hurt your loved ones
Sometimes i want to answer the void on my own terms because i'm scared that it'll take me on its own in a much more terrifying way, and i know it's not far, constantly looming and waiting for all the unfortunate events and mistakes in my life to catch up to me.
Hear me out guys, we have been dead for billion of years and will be dead for another billion years so can't we just accept everything which comes at us !?
Our efforts would not matter so isnt its the best part ? Whatever we do, no one will be alive to judge us,so cant we just live happily by accepting everything which come at us?
Happiness is not laugh and giggle its about acceptance and peacefulness.
Peace .
Man I get the call of the void stuff all day every day
For me it’s just intrusive thoughts like “ I wonder if i… nah I’m not that dumb.” Kinda like if I think “I wonder what’d happen if I punched that guy in the nuts, screamed and ran out the room?” It’s a thought but it’s a dumb one
i just don't know how the algorithm knew that i needed this tonight
Probably based on previous videos you watched or songs you listened, or words you searched or sites you visited... or the webcam thing if thats actually a thing.
im glad yall are still here
That video really hit me different, and change my point of view on life, i really appreciate your effort to make this material
I just want the pain to end.
:/
Same
It’s not the way. It will get better. Believe that. The pain goes away. You can have great friends, you do have have people you love and people that love you. It isn’t worth it. Let me tell you the only thing scarier than continuing living is missing what the world has to offer.
My phone is reading my mind
Really gotta appreciate all those who've come before us, who've suffered and endured the pain to then help past down important wisdom from that pain.
Just so that we can come into existence and be able to experience suffering and pain. How ironic…
@@loner__000-0 Yeah. I kinda hate my ancestors for not just dying.
This recommendation was a personal attack against me
the meaning of life is whatever is keeping you from ending it.
Just do whatever makes you feel at peace.
I'm going to be pretty honest here. A few months ago, I drove my car off the road to end my life. I failed, and you want to know what I found out? It does get better. Those around you will support you and will care for you. Don't be afraid to speak out. You can always call 911 or your country's equivalent to get help. Please don't make the same stupid choice I did. There is always tomorrow; there is always another chance. Keep moving forward, if not for yourself or those around you, then to spite the very idea of death itself.
But it will give me relief to know that people who could never be bothered to properly care during my life will be MADE to deal with it. They’ll probably lose everything from having to deal with my demise, and that prospect brings me glee.
People forget the dead rather quickly.
Especially the really mean and psychopathic ones who didn't care about you, if that's your situation.
Nearly cried watching this
This was indeed a pretty specific search
Such a intriguing fucking video I love it. Also it recommended me verly specifically when I was thinking about going to the void. Thanks man ly you saved many souls
Makes me happy to help however I can, thanks a lot