I Almost Died | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 199

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  • Опубліковано 9 лют 2025

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  • @JaeHimself
    @JaeHimself Рік тому +161

    Tom: Did you hear about the roast this year?
    Bert: No.
    Tom: You didn't know they do that every year?
    Bert: No.
    Tom: You didn't hear anything at all?
    Bert: No.
    Tom: Ok well, this year it was umm..
    Bert: Jessica Kirson.

  • @Piggyn
    @Piggyn Рік тому +140

    Bert a couple weeks ago: I'm jacked.
    Photo at baseball game: 😐
    Bert now: A spray tan can hide all that.

  • @twodeepmatt
    @twodeepmatt Рік тому +463

    Bert's complete delusion about how he looks is always incredible.

    • @fatguyonalittlebike3336
      @fatguyonalittlebike3336 Рік тому +5

      It’s like Enny and his ability to do things he’s never done and beat everyone 😂

    • @Vex319
      @Vex319 Рік тому +13

      him thinking hes sexy and incredible looking is peak comedy, he must genuinely have something wrong with him though lmao

    • @il94z12
      @il94z12 Рік тому

      @@Vex319he’s a complete joke himself. He’s delusional

    • @dogg92
      @dogg92 Рік тому +8

      ​@@Vex319Him insinuating that his stomach only looks fucking disgusting in that one picture is peak comedy.

    • @bringinfunny1
      @bringinfunny1 Рік тому +5

      Bert isn't funny. If annoying is funny, sure he's aces! If not, then not so much. Tom on the other hand is hilarious!

  • @GLo1991
    @GLo1991 Рік тому +311

    Bert obsessed with not getting skin cancer while simultaneously getting drunk and taking Xanax every night is hilarious

    • @sentientcardboarddumpster7900
      @sentientcardboarddumpster7900 Рік тому +5

      I'm sure he takes more than he admits. Not the kind of thing you can do casually

    • @GLo1991
      @GLo1991 Рік тому

      @@sentientcardboarddumpster7900 uh-huundred-percent

    • @joeshmoe562
      @joeshmoe562 Рік тому +2

      someone should telll him benzodiazepines cause alzheimer's '

    • @GLo1991
      @GLo1991 Рік тому +1

      @@joeshmoe562 indeed they should. The drinking will only increase that risk too. It’s gonna be a bummer when all this catches up with the guy

    • @johnnolen2781
      @johnnolen2781 Рік тому

      I'm sure he takes less than he admits. You'd be surprised at the things you can do casually. He also very clearly exaggerates it so that he can get more interaction from people like you and OG comments. Simple marketing@@sentientcardboarddumpster7900

  • @marshallplan651
    @marshallplan651 Рік тому +1108

    Theo wants his glasses back Tom! Poor guys out here without his disguise.

    • @_TMac_13_916_
      @_TMac_13_916_ Рік тому +12

      😂😂😂😂😂

    • @archibaldcreep1
      @archibaldcreep1 Рік тому +28

      Very nice sun glasses

    • @georgeedward602
      @georgeedward602 Рік тому +5

      The first thing I noticed and don't know what to think... it's a love-it-hate-it thing..lol

    • @morganst.pierre
      @morganst.pierre Рік тому +7

      They’re not as comically oversized and ugly as theos pair but the similarity is there

    • @Tametruthfullness
      @Tametruthfullness Рік тому +3

      He’s trying to be more like Theo cus of theogate

  • @LocChicago5
    @LocChicago5 Рік тому +27

    I wish we could have seen Bert's head going nuts and crying having a nervous breakdown before this episode thinking Tommy was going to replace him with another bear hahahahahaha

    • @dgkphs
      @dgkphs Рік тому +6

      I'd pay a monthly subscription to YMH if they removed the annoying narcissist

    • @Js-hu5cm
      @Js-hu5cm Рік тому

      Same

  • @GingerBleghMan
    @GingerBleghMan Рік тому +431

    Tom's face when Bert said he won comedian of the year
    😂😂😂😂
    I'm fucking crying

    • @to8860
      @to8860 Рік тому +33

      LOL....he's not in the top 40!!!!!!

    • @macktheturtle5890
      @macktheturtle5890 Рік тому +3

      I’m from bend Burt, no bears here but your ass… also please come back hit up zydeco we love you!!!

    • @Madagon367
      @Madagon367 Рік тому +51

      To be fair I don't think anybody really thinks he's a great standup. Just watch his last special. But he 100% did amazing things for comedy and many many comedians these last couple of years. The way he does his promos, the tour and everybody he has on there, the podcast, how he is working his ass off etc. So I guess for everything combined give him his award.

    • @Berdymadafakas
      @Berdymadafakas Рік тому +29

      ​@@macktheturtle5890are you having a stroke bro

    • @jan.plays.guitar
      @jan.plays.guitar Рік тому +10

      @@Madagon367100% agreed. He’s happy now and won’t be there forever, let him have it and he did do all that stuff.

  • @jakedummy
    @jakedummy Рік тому +53

    I love how Bert said he’s been talking too much lately especially about himself, and then spent the rest of the episode doing exactly that .

  • @jor5309
    @jor5309 Рік тому +248

    Bert bringing a whole new meaning to the phrase “if you can’t tone it, tan it”

    • @FatJesus9mm
      @FatJesus9mm Рік тому

      Do you think when Bert was banging his wife after the tans he was fantasizing about Louis J Gomez

    • @BPH55
      @BPH55 Рік тому +2

      Redden it.

    • @squigtonianmayhem4602
      @squigtonianmayhem4602 Рік тому

      Funny how he says he wore a thong, yet, his whole ass is white! WTF?

    • @Mark-xb7ro
      @Mark-xb7ro Рік тому +1

      The amount of time he has talked about his shoulders, jacked, popping, defined Tom must filter the repetitive stuff out.

  • @HotRangus
    @HotRangus Рік тому +16

    Another great episode of "Bert Tries To Tell A Story For A While."

  • @Hayfever33
    @Hayfever33 Рік тому +140

    Tanning to cover up the red bloated skin, a strategy my alcoholic mother used for years

  • @MyBlitz7
    @MyBlitz7 Рік тому +9

    21:40 Bert trying to show off his spray tan and all I can focus on is the guy begging him to stop drinking 💀

    • @ravensclawtemplar
      @ravensclawtemplar Рік тому

      Oh you're right I didn't even read the comments at first. I think he will reign his drinking in eventually. He has the money to be able to spend time getting sober. Not that that makes it automatically easy, but a lot of the usual hurdles for getting into rehab are already laid down for him. Hopefully he won't hit rock bottom first. I'm sure he feels untouchable like consequences are never going to happen to him.

  • @deyakson
    @deyakson Рік тому +87

    *"I get turned on by myself."* is a peak Brent Schreiber's comment.

    • @impossiblegems
      @impossiblegems Рік тому +2

      True narcissist- ever watch American Psycho

  • @SincereDoper
    @SincereDoper Рік тому +3

    It's so nice of Tom to spend so much of his free time with someone in their final years of life. Most people can't take it, due to how depressing it is being around someone who is clearly about to die. Thanks Tom, the world needs more men like you!

  • @Safushiful
    @Safushiful Рік тому +18

    their advice about talking about your feelings even if it's uncomfortable in the intro is so true. did not expect that from this pod of all things.

  • @murica8
    @murica8 Рік тому +4

    I love how amused Tom gets talking to Bert when Bert says silly shit. Tom's face and reaction makes the entire show. So damned great!

  • @higherstandard710
    @higherstandard710 Рік тому +103

    Bert and Joe List needs to come on”Taste Buds” since you guys good and hash out that Thai food vs Pizza!! We all want this 😂😂

    • @Podus81
      @Podus81 Рік тому +2

      Hell yeah

    • @sernastyle
      @sernastyle Рік тому +1

      That would be epic

    • @minchoazar2732
      @minchoazar2732 Рік тому +1

      someone know which podcast/episode does bert mention about Ari Shaffir and his behavior?

    • @higherstandard710
      @higherstandard710 Рік тому +2

      Why did my Bert and Ari podcast comment get deleted!? Bert got roofied by Ari and never shown the podcast. Will this be deleted too. Is so they are tying to make this not happen haha

    • @Mr_Dopey
      @Mr_Dopey Рік тому +3

      I heard Joe List and Jay Mohr are starting a podcast together.

  • @JC_wonderland
    @JC_wonderland Рік тому +13

    Bert is somewhat of a real life Homer Simpson

  • @hunterstarkey5089
    @hunterstarkey5089 Рік тому +19

    With each passing day, Bert manifests new ways to mask his weight. His most recent venture being spray tan

  • @diceydie-c
    @diceydie-c Рік тому +9

    That's definitely some Burt logic right there just get a spray tan so you can't see the cellulite don't actually get healthy so it goes away😂😂 Jesus I can't wait to hear what his secret hack is for cirrhosis of the liver😂

    • @republicofcasuals
      @republicofcasuals Рік тому +1

      I feel that there is a lot of self-reflection in your comment 🤣

    • @Danteandras123
      @Danteandras123 Рік тому

      He already has claimed that testosterone injections “cured” his liver.

  • @_yooniversal_
    @_yooniversal_ Рік тому +44

    Friends fight but also drunks react irrationally to a simple pizza instead of thai 😂 have a nice week everyone

  • @chase_k23
    @chase_k23 Рік тому +45

    What Brent here is trying to say is that he's more fit and athletic in his 50's than most star athletes are during their prime.

  • @John15293
    @John15293 Рік тому +34

    Bret describing the reasons he loses friends like we should feel sorry for him lmao. "I don't see other people" isn't the issue itself, it's knowing this and not feeling the pressure to change for others (therefore prioritising yourself over others). These people who cut ties with Bart are just correct in their judgment that he is a self prioritising narcissist.

    • @republicofcasuals
      @republicofcasuals Рік тому +1

      ok, now talk about Bert 🤣

    • @ravensclawtemplar
      @ravensclawtemplar Рік тому +3

      Self awareness never absolved anyone of anything. Do better Brent

    • @ovechkin0831
      @ovechkin0831 Рік тому +2

      So, you always give the food off of your plate to the homeless hungry guy outside before you take a single bite then? What a stupid take 😂😂😂

    • @reedusurrights2547
      @reedusurrights2547 Рік тому

      @@ovechkin0831your take the stupid one!, what in the actual F ck does your comment have to do with his at all???

    • @ovechkin0831
      @ovechkin0831 Рік тому

      @@glenhoddinott3799 exactly! Thank you lmao

  • @johnkaligandis5941
    @johnkaligandis5941 Рік тому +15

    Anyone else notice Tom’s strategy for dealing with ocean currents is the same as talking to Bert? Every time you stop paddling the Bert waves ripping you out to sea. Hes coming at you with a tangential story you gotta duck under and come up the other side and keep swimming. 😂😂😂

  • @JKimPersonal
    @JKimPersonal Рік тому +198

    “Uncomfortable conversations”
    Odd way of pronouncing “Intervention”

    • @mrs.h2725
      @mrs.h2725 Рік тому +30

      Curious to see if he ever connects the dots that his inability to control his emotions from overly excited to sobbing mess is from the alcoholic brain damage.

    • @PapaJango37
      @PapaJango37 Рік тому

      The Bert hate is becoming corny lol we know he’s a fat drunk😂what do you expect

    • @EvoMonsters
      @EvoMonsters Рік тому +3

      LOL you are so right! I was thinking what the convo could have been about but this has to be it. Getting piss drunk more often than before and is affecting their joint businesses.

    • @Js-hu5cm
      @Js-hu5cm Рік тому

      Hahahaha

  • @Fireproofwitchnz
    @Fireproofwitchnz Рік тому +1

    The photo of Bert and also him describing his tanned body "I looked BEAUTIFUL" 😂 He honestly has amazing self pump up talk 😂

  • @drunkngenius22
    @drunkngenius22 Рік тому +10

    Tom starts out with a funny bit,
    Bert: let’s just start talking about me right away

  • @JamesMoniyaw
    @JamesMoniyaw Рік тому +13

    Tom out here looking like a guess who card

  • @beercavetech
    @beercavetech Рік тому +311

    Id really like it if this podcast gave Burnt a talking time limit

    • @fleischer236
      @fleischer236 Рік тому +21

      Yeah like a chess clock

    • @WingedSoda
      @WingedSoda Рік тому +17

      Just stop listening?

    • @beercavetech
      @beercavetech Рік тому +34

      @@WingedSodathere’s always that single Brett fan

    • @FreddieJ65
      @FreddieJ65 Рік тому +7

      I wish the world gave Bart a talking limit. Like a shock collar. Tom needs a "motivational" speaker to remind him he's a ungrateful asshole several times a day.

    • @lillithremedy
      @lillithremedy Рік тому +2

      It would be fun for 1 episode to have a clock and limit him to 2 mins at a time

  • @F3RAL3NTITY
    @F3RAL3NTITY Рік тому +1

    41:44 toms control is fucking unreal. I love Bert entirely but I would have BULLIED his ass for that💀

  • @TheRealRonRico317
    @TheRealRonRico317 Рік тому +90

    You guys sitting down and talking about your feelings is what's going to make your marriage work. You guys are a beautiful couple. #BeefShoulders 🥩 💪

    • @steph7960
      @steph7960 Рік тому +3

      Until Tom realises, yet again, that Bert has either not learnt anything or just doesn't give enough of a shit.

    • @seae2030
      @seae2030 Рік тому

      He should can burnt Chrysler if he won't move to Austin. I doubt they really are best friends

    • @steph7960
      @steph7960 Рік тому

      @@seae2030 I think they probably have been, but they re both ego maniacs especially Bert, and starting to become more well known. As, what often occurs when individusls become more famous, that's starting to rear its ugly head in their friendship, as it often does, with these people. They begin to compete with one another.( I.e Bert pretending to mention his crying episode to Tom, when in fact, he really wanted to rub it in that he won" comedian of the year")

    • @birdeffer89
      @birdeffer89 Рік тому

      ​@@steph7960 what is blud saying💀

  • @sydneypage2980
    @sydneypage2980 Рік тому

    I love that this is basically Bert being a 5year old just chatting up Uncle Tom for hours. Tom comes home Bert at the door imma tell you about my whole week. Tom smile and nodding 😂

  • @socksignal
    @socksignal Рік тому +213

    Bert did more promo for Matt's special than Matt did lol

    • @impossiblegems
      @impossiblegems Рік тому +2

      Jealousy is a wild thing

    • @beetox8278
      @beetox8278 Рік тому +22

      Hi Shane.

    • @cheekywippets9163
      @cheekywippets9163 Рік тому +4

      I don’t have the willpower to listen/scrub to find the shaman shoutout. Anyone got a time stamp?

    • @stantondavid4435
      @stantondavid4435 Рік тому

      Bert’s sense of reality is wild,thinking he looks amazing?? bro you look insane with a spray tan, u have no muscles and big ass belly that’s about it ….But yea buddy you look amazing as you say

    • @boneun1t
      @boneun1t Рік тому

      @@cheekywippets9163 32:48

  • @bobbert24
    @bobbert24 Рік тому +2

    21:28 - Bert out here looking like DJ Khalid

  • @Sutterbombz
    @Sutterbombz Рік тому +4

    Tom: Man I saw this shit over the weekend
    Bert: SCHREECH
    Tom: so I was looking at..
    Bert: SQUEEEEELLLLLL REEEEEEEEEE I CAN BENCH 450 REEEE FUCKIN VODKAAAA

  • @surgicalfixer1720
    @surgicalfixer1720 Рік тому +6

    That picture is Bert’s swollen liver trying to escape.

  • @mattcouey2572
    @mattcouey2572 Рік тому +8

    Goddamn this the Bert Bert Bert show Tom has said like 4 sentences the last 5 episodes lol

  • @SNIPES936
    @SNIPES936 Рік тому +8

    This really makes me appreciate and enjoy even more the episodes of 2 bears when Bert's not there.

  • @WKRP187
    @WKRP187 Рік тому +10

    It is funny how everyone thinks that two buddies can't get into it during a night of drinking and still be buddies the next day.

  • @boojiela
    @boojiela Рік тому +8

    Bert has final reached the look of the cgi thing Tom stabbed on his dance video

  • @mnmsaregood1
    @mnmsaregood1 Рік тому +206

    Bert is embarrassed about his shirtless picture but will do literally nothing about it

    • @neighborbruce
      @neighborbruce Рік тому +12

      Hell somehow convince himself that it's the angle of the camera and the position of the sun that caused him to look like that

    • @bobsterapper
      @bobsterapper Рік тому +5

      But he did a Spray tan 🤷🏼‍♂️

    • @MassiveScore
      @MassiveScore Рік тому +5

      He thinks getting a spray tan is doing something about it

    • @Dakotarob2003
      @Dakotarob2003 Рік тому

      Bro he’s a famous multimillionaire that’s built an empire behind his name and ur a nobody who r u to judge😂

    • @KZ_MMA-KZ
      @KZ_MMA-KZ Рік тому

      Except for keep drinking

  • @napalmdon357
    @napalmdon357 Рік тому +6

    At this point. Tom’s just collecting checks lol

  • @twistymcslide2
    @twistymcslide2 Рік тому +8

    You can literally see Bert's liver in that baseball picture . . . . . . Very cool , he's fine . . . .

  • @martymcdry
    @martymcdry Рік тому +6

    That swimming story was the most Tom has talked on an episode of 2B1C ever

  • @Laffhole
    @Laffhole Рік тому +6

    bert's explanation of his wife "dating" him again: she has cocktails an got a one time spray tan...

  • @DocMalk
    @DocMalk Рік тому +1

    Can I be thr 3rd person in the podcast, so I can keep Bert on topic! SO MANY times he talks about something and I want to know the end and he never goes back to finish. 😂

  • @dylanlooney6573
    @dylanlooney6573 Рік тому +5

    Bert being comedian of the year is like Ben Simmons being MvP of the NBA

    • @republicofcasuals
      @republicofcasuals Рік тому +1

      ? Yea, that doesn't make a lick on sense..... you better stick to Lizzo and Sam Smith for your entertainment there buddy 🤣

  • @MikeH7186
    @MikeH7186 Рік тому +33

    Bert just keeps finding ways to avoid losing weight and being healthy. Somehow now spray tanning is the next excuse.

  • @keatonclark3017
    @keatonclark3017 Рік тому +4

    The ad break as soon as Bert pulls his ass out is perfect

  • @ABN_TNKR
    @ABN_TNKR Рік тому +16

    Maybe some day again soon we will get to enjoy guest Bears. So glad we got an hour of Brent’s spray tan.

    • @ryanalexander984
      @ryanalexander984 Рік тому +3

      Maybe Tom will start doing Tom Talks again. Then we won’t have to listen to his wife or Bert ruin his commentary.

  • @cayciyoung5802
    @cayciyoung5802 Рік тому +1

    His stomach is hilarious! 😂 This is the man who says he is in great shape.

  • @jeremykhan887
    @jeremykhan887 Рік тому +22

    That photo isn't even close to the worst for him. During that beer thing with Shane Gillis, I paused it at some point and he looked like a burnt out dad with his special needs son.

    • @JP-tc9mj
      @JP-tc9mj Рік тому +5

      He was so red and bloated in that beer olympics, I was shocked.

    • @republicofcasuals
      @republicofcasuals Рік тому

      Go look in the mirror... "What The Hell Is Even That!"

    • @zeroa69
      @zeroa69 Рік тому +1

      Him and shane at the downs parade!

  • @Matthewtaylorn
    @Matthewtaylorn Рік тому +1

    Tom: Rick Rubin is a pretty good surfer...
    Bart: I'M FRIENDS WITH ROB MACHADO!!

  • @tyler4418
    @tyler4418 Рік тому +6

    A 2Bears episode with Brad Pitt as the guest Bear would be the best 😂

    • @allyourbase888
      @allyourbase888 Рік тому +1

      It will be better without Burnt. 😂

    • @Frisco_Schills
      @Frisco_Schills Рік тому +1

      How could we tell the difference between Brad Pitt and Bard Fletcher?

    • @allyourbase888
      @allyourbase888 Рік тому

      @@Frisco_Schills If you look closely, Brad sometimes, very, very rarely forgets to wear coverup on his right inside bicep tattoo. That is the only proven method to determine one from the other.

  • @dylanb1522
    @dylanb1522 Рік тому +1

    I’ve watched nearly 200 episodes of 2B1C and just realized that Bear Tom tickles Bear Burnt’s tummy in the intro graphic. Love it.

  • @lacefacethegreat
    @lacefacethegreat Рік тому +9

    "Tan fat looks better than white fat!" My former boss told me that when I was 20 and it always stuck with me. 😂

    • @republicofcasuals
      @republicofcasuals Рік тому

      Maybe stop letting your boss watch you when your changing 🤣

  • @Mumu108-h5z
    @Mumu108-h5z Рік тому +8

    This whole podcast is Bert meeting/getting to know Tom for the first time because he is so far up his own ass he doesn’t see the world around him at all

  • @adamhaney2196
    @adamhaney2196 Рік тому

    When Tom initially brings up the State of the Industry, you can see the him realize he gets to drop it on Bert and catch his first reaction live. That joy is something we all strive to feel

  • @TheStammzilla
    @TheStammzilla Рік тому +17

    I feel like Bert and Tom just need hugs sometimes.

  • @CalvinEast
    @CalvinEast Рік тому

    Bert is such a great guy man. Always means well, wants to have a great time and is so enthusiastic about it. Him and ric flair would be great 😂

  • @jerowm5568
    @jerowm5568 Рік тому +3

    ..damn him talking about that pitch pic hit me when I saw the look on his face & took a huge drink.. I hope this motivates him to make a change and really take getting in shape seriously.. the country need this national treasure around till this recessions over 😂

  • @typicalscotland2008
    @typicalscotland2008 Рік тому +2

    Bert not realising he's pissing people off 😂😂 that's what you call arrogance bert

    • @republicofcasuals
      @republicofcasuals Рік тому +2

      No, that's just having friends that prefer soy boy lattes and hotdogs topped with weak sauce 🤣

    • @typicalscotland2008
      @typicalscotland2008 Рік тому +2

      @@republicofcasuals true 😆

  • @yurielcundangan9090
    @yurielcundangan9090 Рік тому +13

    Friends can be drunk and say wild crazy a** shit 😂
    -Bert 2k23😂

  • @robertj1777
    @robertj1777 Рік тому

    "Drownding?" "Yeah" "yeah, and it should..."😂😅 I'm dying

  • @tsullivan93
    @tsullivan93 Рік тому +36

    Brad Pitt and Bradley Cooper already have a podcast, it’s called Two Brads, One Coop

  • @gregma63
    @gregma63 Рік тому

    The Garth "G" Brooks 300 bodies Tulsa, Oklahoma card with a brother in the back is the best thing in the world!! 😂😂😂

  • @Timjacks01
    @Timjacks01 Рік тому +7

    As much as I love Bart i need more Tom & Theo in my life!

  • @jeffreymcclellan1717
    @jeffreymcclellan1717 Рік тому +1

    Bert, its so crazy, I daily get myself into panic , obsessing about skin cancer. And I medicate myself to stop panic attacks. Every new dark spot that shows up, forget it, im certain its bad. Whether it is or not. It runs on my dads side. So eventually, it probably will be but I can appreciate your anguish.
    And Tom, because of you, I now know what I have going on mentally , and in 42 years, several doctors and I couldnt label it. I too have excessive internal monolog, and I very much get in arguments with myself, always outloud. I have never seen another person, other than my mom who has the same condition. So by total accident I woke up and saw you addressing it and there was my " aha, I told you all im not crazy" moment. Just want to say thanks. Btw, purely by accident, i have the same glasses. Well, the " I'm not rich" version anyway.
    How many people have you met with the same condition man? You've been a guy who gets around for awhile so this intrests me quite abit.
    Hopefully you take the time to answer. I know youre busy. But I love that I've found someone with the exact same mental thing as me.
    Side note: no im crazy, I'm not that big of a fan really. I was arrogant like you , and people don't like when a dude argues with himself, and don't like when im always looking up alot, planning out what im going to do. They see a person scheming and plotting they think. Crazy man. I was thinking i was going to be a musician or stand up, but when you live in the armpit of America, you dont stand a chance.
    Im so glad I woke up and saw you talking about this with Christina on YMH.
    Unless your rich, the world has very little use for you. Makes me glad that someone made it. Kudos man

  • @agraves13
    @agraves13 Рік тому +4

    Tom got to talk so much this episode 😂

  • @ranpalmer6045
    @ranpalmer6045 Рік тому +1

    Burt is describing alcoholism to a T. It's not you burt! It's the sauce!!!! 😂😢😂😢

  • @MeticulousTechTV
    @MeticulousTechTV Рік тому +29

    Bert getting that “overweight advisor to the emperor” voice

    • @papa_pt
      @papa_pt Рік тому

      just take out "advisor to the" and you got it

  • @Vex319
    @Vex319 Рік тому +1

    21:30 goddamn he didnt wanna read that top comment lmfao

  • @spincyclelaundrylounge2548
    @spincyclelaundrylounge2548 Рік тому +7

    I know it's "cool" to shit on Bert, but this dude has made me laugh so many damn times. Always rooting for ya, Bert!
    -Sincerely, a fat poor.

  • @Denbot_is_here
    @Denbot_is_here Рік тому +1

    Tom mimicking the kids getting wave pummeled had me laughing out loud...

  • @shagam00
    @shagam00 Рік тому +5

    Bert in full Portnoy tan & chain is wild.

  • @billypatterson4983
    @billypatterson4983 Рік тому +1

    Can you imagine being on a beach and who comes out of the water to warn you about the riptide?
    Tom “The Ocean Whisperer” Segura

  • @jayjason2517
    @jayjason2517 Рік тому +3

    Leann looks younger with a spray tan while Bert looks older with a spray tan. 😂

  • @christianscacchetti9178
    @christianscacchetti9178 Рік тому +2

    Love the damage control 😂 Bert is 100% in the wrong in the Joe List situation but chalks it up to just what friends say to each other

  • @smolpretty4497
    @smolpretty4497 Рік тому +16

    "Joe List and I are friends"
    That goes against everything you've ever said about him on podcasts over the last decade

  • @LHuson88
    @LHuson88 Рік тому

    This podcast, this friendship, and specifically this episode of 2 bears…. PERFECTION. I laughed SO hard and so much. I absolutely LOVE you guys. The world is brighter in ways you don’t even know because of you both. You 2 make my soul smile and that’s an amazing feeling in this dumpster diarrhea world 😂😂😂😂 never stop what you do 🩵🩵🩵

  • @5thjonasbrother219
    @5thjonasbrother219 Рік тому +40

    i don't think Bert gets why you have the talks. precious gems

    • @zeroa69
      @zeroa69 Рік тому

      I figured it was really them shitting on bobby again since he purposefully doesnt answer the phone/text

    • @murderburger1811
      @murderburger1811 Рік тому +1

      He's R worded

  • @lukecasio9810
    @lukecasio9810 Рік тому

    Tom is a genius; he just encourages Bert/ asks questions and he just goes... Easy work for Tom

  • @MattiaGiallombardo
    @MattiaGiallombardo Рік тому +9

    Sometimes I'm wondering about how Bert's wife and girls feel about him sharing those stories 😅

    • @impossiblegems
      @impossiblegems Рік тому +5

      They hate it- the daughters have made him take down pics on his social media-

    • @MattiaGiallombardo
      @MattiaGiallombardo Рік тому

      @@impossiblegems I can see why 😆

  • @EricMrRareAir
    @EricMrRareAir Рік тому +1

    22:00 😂😂😂😂 “Thank You” 😂😂😂😂

  • @M1NCH_
    @M1NCH_ Рік тому +4

    as a german i makes me so proud to hear Bernd say "10 meter dive"

  • @tylergerber3432
    @tylergerber3432 Рік тому

    Bert said “drownding” and Tom was like “drownding?” 🤣🤣🤣

  • @jeffrycastro3850
    @jeffrycastro3850 Рік тому +8

    Toms reaction to Bert’s tan line!! “ Oh really great, thank you..” also can someone find me the video of Bert’s speech when he cries

  • @ninjathugthabot8391
    @ninjathugthabot8391 Рік тому +1

    I love how bert needs to add in a row after saying rick can do 100 pushups lol

  • @andrewf6111
    @andrewf6111 Рік тому +4

    Yes Tom. Gym, tan, laundry. The holy Trinity. Real talk

  • @nicholashodges460
    @nicholashodges460 Рік тому +2

    Bert is a real artist he feels like a man should in these times he loves well and those feelings are undeniable

  • @kennyprice7441
    @kennyprice7441 Рік тому +11

    Nice to hear bert shout out the DAWG Matt

  • @sam_I_may_be
    @sam_I_may_be Рік тому

    Bert brings a whole new meaning to body dysmorphia. Like, most people think they’re always too fat. Bert sees a picture with his gut flopping around and is like “I’m jacked, I’m so beautiful” 😂

  • @kevingallagher3
    @kevingallagher3 Рік тому +4

    Bert is so modest. A true shining becon of a Man.

  • @breezybee8469
    @breezybee8469 Рік тому +1

    When Bert is talking about Rob he’s referring to the dvds Drive Thru and that group all went to Hawaii and New Zealand and just surfed and goofed around 😜

  • @Frost00586
    @Frost00586 Рік тому +8

    This episode.....I feel like I watched this before. I could've sworn I heard you guys talked about surfing and renting the Waco wave pool before.

    • @404Tony
      @404Tony Рік тому +1

      You’re right I believe they have talked about going surfing at Kelly slaters wave pool

    • @nathancaliff3796
      @nathancaliff3796 Рік тому

      There is no doubt about it. I came to the comments just to see if someone else caught that.

  • @Biologia101-eb2fn
    @Biologia101-eb2fn Рік тому

    Swimming in the ocean 2 miles everyday after 30 years of smoking. Three months without smoke and swimming, I look and feel 30 instead of 45. Incredible how the body heals. Swimming 2 miles under an hour already. Very happy.

  • @emmettbrooks19
    @emmettbrooks19 Рік тому +3

    RIP Bert, hope Leanne will take this message kindly! 😂

  • @averymartin3173
    @averymartin3173 Рік тому +1

    Bert talking about his married sex life is so wild😂.

  • @29A
    @29A Рік тому +7

    Thanks Bert for rep'ing our local Wichita Wind Surge

  • @tylergeorge52
    @tylergeorge52 Рік тому

    In that Instagram video showing off his tan, Bert looks like one of those cows that has to get a hole poked into its gut to keep it from dying of bloat 😂