So accurate man I'm amazed. I always had small group of close friends only if we vibed and still it's always 3-4 friends but different groups every few years. So there are people like me 😂😂 also I don't like using phone that much
Nope. I cut them lose because they were all one-sided relationships and I just don’t have time for that anymore. When someone puts the time and effort in like I do, then we might have something but until then, I’m ridin’ solo.
I hate not having friends and then I get them and I remember why I don't like having them. Quality before quantity. I have a lot of acquaintances but few friends. I'm cool with that. I don't think I have High expectations. I just want what I give. Reciprocation if you will.
Exactly- I consider it high standards not so much high expectations. I just refuse to accept less than I give. I would rather have one true friend than a dozen acquaintances.
I used to have a small group of friends when I was in my teens and early 20's but now at 34 I have no friends. I actually do everything I can to avoid getting in to friend/relationships and realized its best for me to just be on my own. Maybe that will change some day, who knows.
I haven’t watched this yet, but a few things come to mind just reading the title :) There are a few reasons why I do not have friends. 1.) It takes a lot of energy to have a decent friend group. I’m not only an INFJ but also HSP. I get overstimulated quite easily. I put my sleep before anything else. I’m not sacrificing my bedtime to party. I also hate large gatherings and noisy settings. 2.) I have a difficult time getting past the small talk phase. I want to talk about things that most people aren’t aware of or have zero interest in. So being a rare personality, it’s hard to find things that I have in common with others. 3.) When I do make special connections, the friendship can become one-sided. It’s my fault. I have a tendency to lose myself for those I love. I don’t like hurting people or disappointing them. I’m working on being more authentic upfront without the fear of rejection. I’ve always admired people who do this. Kind of like a take it or leave it type of thing. 4.) The things I enjoy the most are solo activities like reading and painting.
Wait a minute, you are not my lost twin sister ? Ha ha just a joke … We are so similar it is scary reading it. My theory ? We are givers .. we enjoy giving our time, our love, confort, understanding and even our resources, most of the people are “ takers “ they love to receive and they love us. The problem ? Just ask yourself, how many times you end up thinking ; I am giving all this to everyone and I have the feeling I don’t get not even a fraction back ? Well, there you have it . I came to that realization and nowadays I start thinking that all are Narcissists & egocentric UNTIL they prove me wrong. Best regards , stay true to yourself
Close friends, what is that? I opened up to a woman after 9 years who then betrayed me, now I'm super closed. I'm 44, and feel like an alien on the wrong planet.
I love and envy friendship groups in anime and fiction, but as soon as a group of friends try to adopt me, I recoil from the perceived 'cult' like behaviour and also suffer from 'their audacity of thinking i owe them my time'
I don’t have a big group of friends. Maybe 1-3 close friends, and everyone else is an acquaintance. When I learned that I was a back burner friend for some, or the one that people took for granted, I stepped way back from those relationships. When you set boundaries and stop tolerating mistreatment, people leave you alone. Sad that it’s people you thought cared about you, but they only cared about what they could get from you. I got tired of a lot of one way friendships that were shallow and businesslike. I spend most days alone, but I enjoy my own company. I’m constantly imagining new worlds for my writing and exploring music and my interests. Got tired of fake, flaky people, and I’m more at peace than ever before.
The narrator said there are some INFJ's who prefer to have no friends. For me, I hate not having any friends (or family) but I prefer it that way, by far, than to be with bad company. Here are the points that hit home for me: #1 Social Settings - Over the decades I have gone out to groups and and had hopes of making friends. It never worked out well for me. I loved it when the narrator said that "teamwork groups" can be helpful to the INFJ. I felt like it was easier for me to make friends in a teamwork situation. It's like a boost. #2 High Expectations - True for me both in myself and from others. When I meet with someone whom I like and talk to, I often play back in my mind what I talked about to the other person. And most times I would say, "oh no!' thinking I said something wrong. #3 Give & Take - Oh yes! I feel like I give and don't get much reciprocation back. #4 Alone Time - (See my opening paragraph). #5 Trust Issues - Absolutely! #6 Smelling Red Flags A Mile Away - Yes. #7 Feeling misunderstood - Yes, a whole lot. #8 Extroverted Appearance Only When Comfortable - Yes, and I'd talk your ears off when I'm comfortable.
I could have written this whole comment. 😌 And yes, I would rather have no friends than fake frenemies or superficial acquaintanceships, but it doesn't mean that I wouldn't be overjoyed to have true friends.
I'm INFJ, and I do have a friend group that I hang out with regularly. But truthfully, I don't open up to them about a lot of things. I feel like they don't know who I really am on the core level. But I'm learning (thanks to discovering MBTI) that INFJs naturally look for very deep meaningful relationships with people, and we're not always gonna find that in every single friendship. So I'm learning to focus on the good qualities of my friends in my friend group, and love them for who they are. Plus, they've proven to me that they have my back when it counts, which counts for a lot.
I hate not having any close friends buy when I used to have them they would let me down when I needed them the same ways they needed me. People are selfish. I do feel lonely a lot but im getting closer with myself and I will always be there for me.
i cut off all friendhips in the last yr as i realised ive spent my whole life from childhood surrounded by toxic controlling people. I have no friends now although i did try over the years by going to courses eg art or drama, but never was reciprocated. I know now the qualities i need are a warm positive empathetic person that listens and it is equal give and take and likes to laugh at silly things, knowing the ennoegram subtypes has helped here. Ive realised i gravitate towards warm people eg actors or muscians, celebrities that are warm eg johnny depp, austin butler, michael jackson, princess diana I hope in time ill find the right friendships for me
Ive been in and out of so many friendships and the one thing that makes me not want them is people's lack of self awareness. This leads to lack of awareness of what others need.
I help those closest to me & those closest to me help me, we have mutual trust. That the inner circle gang", time, distance" does not age these trusted relationships & shared experiences. Your spot on as usual ✔️. It's funny how predictable we are 😜
Is this truly enough? I have an INFJ friend who has a husband and 2 boys. What about a girlfriend? I genuinely ask if it's not nice to have a girlfriend to share similar experiences with. I'm an INFP with a husband and a daughter.
One close friend - my spouse. Two or three inner circle friends, but even then I hold back big parts of me. And that’s it. And yes I can be the life of the party on rare occasions. When I tell people I’m extremely introverted, they laugh in disbelief. They don’t see the 2 hours of solitude I need each morning minimum. Nor do they see the invisible walls around me. Nor do they realize how intensely I am watching and listening and analyzing. Nor do they realize even in a crowd where I’m having fun, my internal batteries are wearing out fast, and I’d rather be home with my dog and my books. It ain’t easy being INFJ.
I have an INFJ friend (I'm an INFP), and see the things in her you said people don't see in you. My friend is more introverted than you described yourself. We are like Chris Martin and Johnny of the coldplay band. Those 2 are best friends. Some INFJs break the mold and stand out even when saying nothing! Wishing you God's blessings.
Close-mindedness victim mentality and being passive-aggressive wouldn't you know it these are the attributes of an infj but they still judge others as they project their own judgment on themselves.
Hey PSYCH-Os!👋
*So, do you have a group of friends as an INFJ?*
Comment down below 👇
So accurate man I'm amazed. I always had small group of close friends only if we vibed and still it's always 3-4 friends but different groups every few years. So there are people like me 😂😂 also I don't like using phone that much
Nope. I cut them lose because they were all one-sided relationships and I just don’t have time for that anymore. When someone puts the time and effort in like I do, then we might have something but until then, I’m ridin’ solo.
Ppl
I thought that i was an alien but then i realize that i'm an INFJ and i feel grateful
I hate not having friends and then I get them and I remember why I don't like having them. Quality before quantity. I have a lot of acquaintances but few friends. I'm cool with that. I don't think I have High expectations. I just want what I give. Reciprocation if you will.
reciprocity that's the word I was thinking of.
Well said 👌
Exactly- I consider it high standards not so much high expectations. I just refuse to accept less than I give. I would rather have one true friend than a dozen acquaintances.
I agree. I don't have expectations. They're the same that I have on myself and since I'm merely human and I can do these things, so can they.
@@jessicachateau2565 Thank you! 💯
I used to have a small group of friends when I was in my teens and early 20's but now at 34 I have no friends.
I actually do everything I can to avoid getting in to friend/relationships and realized its best for me to just be on my own.
Maybe that will change some day, who knows.
I haven’t watched this yet, but a few things come to mind just reading the title :) There are a few reasons why I do not have friends.
1.) It takes a lot of energy to have a decent friend group. I’m not only an INFJ but also HSP. I get overstimulated quite easily. I put my sleep before anything else. I’m not sacrificing my bedtime to party. I also hate large gatherings and noisy settings.
2.) I have a difficult time getting past the small talk phase. I want to talk about things that most people aren’t aware of or have zero interest in. So being a rare personality, it’s hard to find things that I have in common with others.
3.) When I do make special connections, the friendship can become one-sided. It’s my fault. I have a tendency to lose myself for those I love. I don’t like hurting people or disappointing them. I’m working on being more authentic upfront without the fear of rejection. I’ve always admired people who do this. Kind of like a take it or leave it type of thing.
4.) The things I enjoy the most are solo activities like reading and painting.
Wait a minute, you are not my lost twin sister ? Ha ha just a joke … We are so similar it is scary reading it. My theory ? We are givers .. we enjoy giving our time, our love, confort, understanding and even our resources, most of the people are “ takers “ they love to receive and they love us. The problem ? Just ask yourself, how many times you end up thinking ; I am giving all this to everyone and I have the feeling I don’t get not even a fraction back ? Well, there you have it .
I came to that realization and nowadays I start thinking that all are Narcissists & egocentric UNTIL they prove me wrong.
Best regards , stay true to yourself
Close friends, what is that? I opened up to a woman after 9 years who then betrayed me, now I'm super closed. I'm 44, and feel like an alien on the wrong planet.
I love and envy friendship groups in anime and fiction, but as soon as a group of friends try to adopt me, I recoil from the perceived 'cult' like behaviour and also suffer from 'their audacity of thinking i owe them my time'
Nice way to put it, I think that’s relatable for most INFJs lol
Very few friends, more like teammates than friends....
I like the perspective of team mates!
4 quarters are better than 100 pennies.
👏👏👏
I say this all the time! Especially when I start to feel bad for only having a few close friends.
I don’t have a big group of friends. Maybe 1-3 close friends, and everyone else is an acquaintance. When I learned that I was a back burner friend for some, or the one that people took for granted, I stepped way back from those relationships. When you set boundaries and stop tolerating mistreatment, people leave you alone. Sad that it’s people you thought cared about you, but they only cared about what they could get from you. I got tired of a lot of one way friendships that were shallow and businesslike. I spend most days alone, but I enjoy my own company. I’m constantly imagining new worlds for my writing and exploring music and my interests. Got tired of fake, flaky people, and I’m more at peace than ever before.
The narrator said there are some INFJ's who prefer to have no friends. For me, I hate not having any friends (or family) but I prefer it that way, by far, than to be with bad company. Here are the points that hit home for me:
#1 Social Settings - Over the decades I have gone out to groups and and had hopes of making friends. It never worked out well for me. I loved it when the narrator said that "teamwork groups" can be helpful to the INFJ. I felt like it was easier for me to make friends in a teamwork situation. It's like a boost.
#2 High Expectations - True for me both in myself and from others. When I meet with someone whom I like and talk to, I often play back in my mind what I talked about to the other person. And most times I would say, "oh no!' thinking I said something wrong.
#3 Give & Take - Oh yes! I feel like I give and don't get much reciprocation back.
#4 Alone Time - (See my opening paragraph).
#5 Trust Issues - Absolutely!
#6 Smelling Red Flags A Mile Away - Yes.
#7 Feeling misunderstood - Yes, a whole lot.
#8 Extroverted Appearance Only When Comfortable - Yes, and I'd talk your ears off when I'm comfortable.
I could have written this whole comment. 😌 And yes, I would rather have no friends than fake frenemies or superficial acquaintanceships, but it doesn't mean that I wouldn't be overjoyed to have true friends.
I wish this information had been available when I was a young adult, to know that this is a valid way of being.
I'm INFJ, and I do have a friend group that I hang out with regularly. But truthfully, I don't open up to them about a lot of things. I feel like they don't know who I really am on the core level. But I'm learning (thanks to discovering MBTI) that INFJs naturally look for very deep meaningful relationships with people, and we're not always gonna find that in every single friendship. So I'm learning to focus on the good qualities of my friends in my friend group, and love them for who they are. Plus, they've proven to me that they have my back when it counts, which counts for a lot.
May I ask, what are their temperaments in your friend group?
I hate not having any close friends buy when I used to have them they would let me down when I needed them the same ways they needed me. People are selfish. I do feel lonely a lot but im getting closer with myself and I will always be there for me.
i cut off all friendhips in the last yr as i realised ive spent my whole life from childhood surrounded by toxic controlling people. I have no friends now although i did try over the years by going to courses eg art or drama, but never was reciprocated. I know now the qualities i need are a warm positive empathetic person that listens and it is equal give and take and likes to laugh at silly things, knowing the ennoegram subtypes has helped here. Ive realised i gravitate towards warm people eg actors or muscians, celebrities that are warm eg johnny depp, austin butler, michael jackson, princess diana I hope in time ill find the right friendships for me
Ive been in and out of so many friendships and the one thing that makes me not want them is people's lack of self awareness. This leads to lack of awareness of what others need.
i'd say I probably haven't had any close friends, outside immediate family, for about 40 years now. i don't feel bad about it, though.
I prefer to have a few dedicated friends with whom I am attracted to and share an emotional bond.
我同意
I have no friends and that’s good for me. My husband isn’t even someone who I would open up to.
this is me totally, I love and hate it at the same time so difficult to allow someone within my inner circle of trust
It’s definitely been challenging, but I am learning how to navigate this boat.
Learning to fly 🦋
I help those closest to me & those closest to me help me, we have mutual trust. That the inner circle gang", time, distance" does not age these trusted relationships & shared experiences.
Your spot on as usual ✔️. It's funny how predictable we are 😜
I've always been there for people when they seemed to need me. However, when the times turned... no one was their for me.
I have my hands full managing my relationships with my husband and kids. No friends
Is this truly enough?
I have an INFJ friend who has a husband and 2 boys. What about a girlfriend? I genuinely ask if it's not nice to have a girlfriend to share similar experiences with.
I'm an INFP with a husband and a daughter.
I just want a retreat from the social experiment.
Congratz on 41k subs!!!
One close friend - my spouse. Two or three inner circle friends, but even then I hold back big parts of me. And that’s it. And yes I can be the life of the party on rare occasions. When I tell people I’m extremely introverted, they laugh in disbelief. They don’t see the 2 hours of solitude I need each morning minimum. Nor do they see the invisible walls around me. Nor do they realize how intensely I am watching and listening and analyzing. Nor do they realize even in a crowd where I’m having fun, my internal batteries are wearing out fast, and I’d rather be home with my dog and my books. It ain’t easy being INFJ.
I have an INFJ friend (I'm an INFP), and see the things in her you said people don't see in you. My friend is more introverted than you described yourself. We are like Chris Martin and Johnny of the coldplay band. Those 2 are best friends.
Some INFJs break the mold and stand out even when saying nothing!
Wishing you God's blessings.
I have zero family and no friends.. my dog is my best friend
Dogs make great buddies 🩷
Expending energy on people we don't particularly like seems like a waste of time...
Like 5? But i'm not sure
To much drama
less than 3
I’d say that’s a ‘group’! 😆
Is the narrator South African?
Or British
I picked that up as well.... Doesn't really matter though
Yes!! Great ear 😌
Close-mindedness victim mentality and being passive-aggressive wouldn't you know it these are the attributes of an infj but they still judge others as they project their own judgment on themselves.
since when they judge others?