The courage to be disliked | Deny the desire for recognition and free yourself
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- Опубліковано 8 сер 2021
- I summarised the best-selling book "the courage to be disliked" by Ichiro Kishimi. This book is about Adlerian Psychology.
The main 3 points I discuss in this video are
1. Denial of Aetiology
2. Separation of Tasks
3. Build Holizontal Relationships
I also added my personal point of view to the Adlerian Psychology and how we can implement it in our daily life.
This book can change your view to the world. So if you are interested, I recommend you read the book.
I personally feel, it's partly to do with past, but also people have to take responsibility to make a change.
I.e, if a child grows up in a household where emotion regulation is not present, the child will learn from the parents that when things don't go your way, get angry and aggressive, they have learnt that this is the appropriate response. However, every individual as the option to self reflect, see their flaws and make the changes.
As for not praising children, this praise raises their self esteem and self confidence, therefore enhancing self belief, which creates self expectations and motivation to carry out actions and behaviours which deliver a self fulfilling prophecy result. Therefore children with low self belief, may have limited or negative expections, limited motivation, affecting actions and behaviours which delivers negative results.
In most cases, our boss could be someone who cleaned up our mistakes and helped us out when we went missing (due to stress) but eventually raise their voice when we refuse their point of view and insisting our own way. In this case, many would still think the boss is trying to control. In this case, the boss should be the one to read this book.
Please make summary of all the famous books this channel will sky rocket for sure
Live your life for yourself, I’ve always told myself this growing up. I think I’ve always felt this inward anxirty that hobbes talks about
Ive had so much relief saying to myself "that is his/her task" and immediately the rising frustration, anger or hurt melts away.
There is a way to show compliments without praising others. It's simple actually, you just tell the person how you felt about it in a positive manner. I really enjoyed that meal, it was delicious, thank you. Thats not praising them for their skills or anything you did, but just showing genuine gratitude and emotion. It doesn't sound like you're buttering them up or trying to get anythign else from them.
In "The Kid Gallagher Story " by Robert C Bauer, Kid Gallagher found that it didn't pay to worry about what others thought of him. The only thing he concentrated on was his own self esteem.
Great summary and some supportive skepticism about blindly accepting everything in the book. One of the later points in the book is that younger people, who are opened to these ideas earlier in life, can start changing their behavior and being happy, in a sense "walking before" their elders. This is an example of a horizontal relationship, or at least one not based on blind reverence and obedience, which is a theme I didn't pick up on until this video. Thank you for posting.
Really hard to do. Was raised in the belief of following the wisdom of elders and educated ones. Good thing: You learn something. Bad thing: You can become ill because lack of authentic purpose. I think best is balance. Be open to new and other ideas but stick to the things that make sense for you. Nobody says that to you when you are young. It is only about obedience and not making trouble.
I am also reading the book, But this video uses really simple words to explain everything! thanks for that :)
you have to live forward not backwards this idea is so radical and far fetched it makes no sense to say it because we don’t even think about these kinds of things in everyday life.
'Stop seeking recognition from others.` What is the relationship between that idea and being vilified? Vilified might be too strong. Is it, 'Stop being disappointed when your efforts are unappreciated'? That seems like it would be hard to do.
Some of this philosophy is from Stoicism.
I have read this book once. Reading it the 2nd time. This video really helps me grasp the main points in the book. But I highly recommend everyone to also read the book. I think I need to read this book at least once a year. Thank you for making this video. I enjoy learning from it.
These ideas are so insane they say so much about life. I cant even begin to explain.
Dude I fukcing love this book bruh
Your goals shape your behavior, what are goals? What is life without goals?
I enjoyed this.
I think i am making progress. I quit everyone and thing that is not good for me. I cannot control how ppl treat me but i can choose who not to spend time with. And if i did not spend time with you in person know why. 😏
I think you are too, proud of you.
Sincerely ,
Random stranger
nice
How did you make that leap to that conclusion of don’t dwell on your past.....
Is it 'Deny your desire for appreciation of your efforts and free yourself'?
Issues with my personality ? What is a personality
Nice one , because other summery channels presenters talks way too fast , your speed is understandable
Thank you so much 🙂
Lol just a second ago I thought to myself hmmmm maybe there is an app for the phone that makes it faster than 2x speed 😂
What is courage? Am I just courage? Is courage grace under pressure?
The noise/music in the background is annoying.
I'm not YOU