There's a huge group that still wants to romanticise the idea of 'being rescued/saved' by a man. They will always push back and dig their heels in to drown out sensible voices like yours. Keep talking, PLEASE. Advice like this is what will help to lift women out of abject poverty.
“After a woman turns 30 her dating market value plummets”😑 I am more attractive, have better hygiene, stable emotions, stable finances, better communication skills than ten years ago…. My value has gone up since turning and surpassing 30😤
I am over 30, and men give me MORE attention than in my teens and 20s. And it is for the exact reasons you stated. Expire at 30? That is a lie men say to humble women.
Dude. The thing about stay at home gf, is that your man doesn’t have to be bad for it to go wrong. Like, my grandpa was a good husband, but he died, and his best friend stole my grandma’s inheritance. So my grandma had to struggle to survive while being a single Mom. She made it. But it was rough. Not a good idea. Always have your own money.
It’s like ask for slightly more money than what you need and put the rest in your savings account. Nails cost $50… ask for $65 and pocket the $15 difference. Gosh that still sounds like a terrible way to live though🤦🏽♀️
Moving in with a man/person is a financial risk, especially if you don't have the means to take care of yourself. I did this, and only after the relationship ended did I realize I was trying to date while being homeless (and the men I were with let me!)! Life don't work like that sweetie! Take care of yourself first!!❤❤❤
Wisdom accounts for something in this world. And by wisdom I simply mean a person experiencing a hardship and then sharing their story so that others don't end up going through what they went through. Please keep doing what you're doing.
Yes, cutting your kids off at the knees by denying them education, career prospects, and the ability to be financially independent IS child abuse. Raising children for a life of servitude, based on their genitalia, is just disgusting.
My uncle abandoned his family after his wife got cancer. Because my aunt had worked as an accountant for most of her adult life, she was able to support herself and her children. You tell a very sad tale for so many women. I wishing you and your children all the best. You deserve it.
I had no idea that children of traditional SAHM were mere likely to not receive routine, preventive healthcare and experience so much lack. That's really jarring to me. 😮😮 Thank you for expanding my understanding of how this can negatively affect children. No one should be comparing their lives with social media influencers or celebrities!!
My mom was a tradwife and I can confirm that we didn't get health screenings. My dad spent so much money on alcohol, cigarettes, weed, "popcorn", and lottery tickets. He didn't value our health at all.
@@UnrealDreamer3598 My mom was a trad wife and we were taken to annual checkups, dental cleanings, and everything else competent parents do for their children. Every other kid in the neighborhood with stay-at-home moms did too.
I have such a similar story mi us the religion. I even have a skill. Bit it wasn't ever going to be enough to support them on..thank you for this channel
Thank you for posting your story. It's really helpful to have stories which show an understanding of both views. Which show that women working is not just a feminist issue or in some way extreme or untraditional. It's just a way for them to retain their own individual value and be able to support themselves and their loved ones. I'm glad you've survived and wish you the best in the future.
I’m so proud of you! And did the mormon church, who told you that you had to be dependent, did they share any of their $150 BILLION to take care of their faithful women and children when their priesthood broke every covenant?
I hardly ever post. This is the third time I’m going to tell the story. my parents had the traditional rules way back in the day. My father worked full-time as marriage and family counselor and my mother stayed home and took care of the kids. My father saw so many women and their children fall under the poverty line when their husbands left them and they had no education and no real work experience. So he went against what he had been raised to do, and what he and my mother had chosen to do and he strongly encouraged all of his daughters to get their college educations. I and my sisters all have college degree. It’s been at least 40 years and I can look back and say it was one of the best piece of advice my father ever gave us.
Omfg I’m so sorry you had the rug pulled from under you😭 and I understand a man being bitter and not wanting to pay alimony… but to leave the kids destitute is absolutely disgusting. And for his new partner to be okay with him not being financially responsible for his children is beyond disgusting. What woman would be okay with a man neglecting children?! Thank you for having the courage to share this information. I’m 33 and intentionally waited until I was emotionally and financially stable before looking for someone to have children with. If it wasn’t for beautiful souls like you I would’ve unintentionally added more hurt children to the world. Once again, I’m sorry and thank you 🙏🏽
I am a stay at home mom with 3 kids, but I have always controlled the finances. Retirement planning for us has always been my job. Planning for what happens when my husband passes (old age or accidental) was a joint effort with my husband. Your husband sounds like he was too young and immature to marry. If he isn’t trying to support the children still, then he is a jerk.
I was a sahm also (kids now are grown) but maintained my nursing license and worked minimally once they went to school. The fact that I was 28 years old and several years into a nursing career, I think, made all the difference in the world for me, my marriage and children, and my ability to mitigate the risks of being a sahm. In addition to being immature when they married, her ex husband clearly has disturbing character flaws. She was also too immature for marriage as well, and I say that because she went into it incapable of supporting herself and dropped out of college at his insistence (major red flag). It irks me that tradwife content creators tell young girls to not have back up plans, that obtaining marketable skills is unnecessary, and that living at home with parents until marriage (where Mommy and Daddy pay all the bills) is a good plan. All of that seriously stunts maturity, as that's the lifestyle of a teenager. Financial independence is part of the adulting process, and high quality, well adjusted men want functional adult WOMEN, and not starry eyed girls living at home like teens waiting to snag a man. Pausing a career to be a sahm, or not participating in the work force due to lack of financial need and desire is completely different from basically skipping over the adulting process and never gaining the skills to be independent. Also, for a sahm to raise kids into functional adults, it's beneficial if she herself hasn't skipped over that process. I'm a traditionally minded woman, and becoming a sahm was indeed my goal. And I feel that I was able to attract a higher quality man precisely because I did everything that trad content creator Estee Williams advises young women not to do. I had a fully developed brain, a career to support myself, and I would not have been an attractive target for a controlling man like Jenny's ex husband. Nor would my husband have been interested in marriage to someone who had never lived independently and lacked the skills to assume adult responsibilities. The types of men who would want young women like that are the controlling, abusive types like Jenny's ex husband. So I would tell young women that if they have the goal to become sahms, to go into the dating market as a funtional adult woman living independently, and to not marry unless and until they have gained marketable skills and the ability to financially support themselves.
I don’t know what’s going on with the comment section, but you’re doing a good service with your message. At the very least, we women need to be well informed before we make a life changing decision from a tik tok trend.
I had a best friend for around 5-6 years, & then one day, out of the blue, she tells me she's moving 4000 miles away, simply for the heck of it. She said she went to this locale on vacay, fell in love with the scenery, & had just decided. She lived with her then bf. They were just gonna sell their house, pack up, & move. I didn't want her to move for my own selfish reasons, but I didn't mention my selfishness. There were still a million reasons why it was a bad decision, & I tried setting my selfishness aside & telling her all the other perfectly valid reasons why I felt it was a poor choice. She felt that I was a bad friend, because it was my job, as one of her best friends, to just support her every decision & be happy for her, because "that's what friends do." I knew in my gut that, as a best friend, it was my job to also keep her grounded & be open & honest with her, even if it hurt her feelings. I just couldn't make myself support a decision that I believed had little to no merit in her life, & it also hurt me to find out where we really stood as friends & where her mind was at concerning me. I finally had nothing more that I could think to say to her, & we stopped talking altogether. She moved, & we haven't talked in 5 years. I later found out that she got engaged, so I sent a wedding gift. That's the last time I contacted her. No speaking, just mailed it to her. It was very sad to have that friendship d!e like it did.
I don’t understand how married women can leave a marriage without anything. Half of the property acquired during the marriage, including the house and the business (if they owned it) should be split (community property). My friend is a divorce lawyer and she’s a bull dog. Her female clients walk away with assets.
I'm with the tradwives. My wife and I have lived this way for 16 years now (13 with a son) and we're both very glad we did. But yes, it's always a good idea to be financially responsible, learn skills, etc.
@@lifetaketwo7662 "you’re an outlier." Prove it. Why should anyone think that most traditional marriages fail? "And you’re also not a woman so…" What's your point? My wife says she's happy and so do all the women you criticize. Plus, would you really dismiss my input if it happened to agree with your side of the issue? I doubt it.
So, that’s not true. My mother was a SAHM for her entire adult life. She started collecting SS when she was old enough. She actually received more than her sister does on a monthly basis. Her sister worked for a significant part of her adult life. SS pays you more if you have never been employed because the government knows you would not have had the ability to save for retirement.
Not true. Legislation was recently passed just for this reason. Non working spouses can now collect benefits from their spouses' work record. Ssa.gov for more info.
so a serious question. i honestly dont understand why women who end up in your situation, take the kids with them. ending a marriage doesnt mean hes allowed to leave his kids homeless. surely thats gotta be illegal. given all the shuffling around you had to do with your kids, im honestly asking why you didnt leave your kids with their dad when it was over between the 2 of you.
Many times it's for the children's safety. The man in those households never lifted a finger to raise any of those kids because it was "her job" to do all the childcare. And no sane person is going to leave their children in the hands of an abuser.
I believe your story because I can see the pain in your eyes. I experienced something similar. I don't think God ever wanted this for you. Although I understand you don't believe anymore, when I watched a video of how diligently you use to pray to help His children, in a way I think you are by speaking out against religious abuse and coercion, and what men are really capable of no matter how wholesome they appear and how much they say Jesus.
Being Christian is not the problem! The Bible talks about women being equal to men. The problem is greed and miss0gyny which is an issue that is mainly caused by other men. In the old days mother's have raised their children in a better economy by themselves.
@JoSpring Agreed. As for "judgment", everyone judges, and at least your criticism was constructive. If heeded, it would help them to become much more successful at getting their message across.
Where were your parents? Where were his parents? .. I don’t understand why you didn’t go to someone’s family for help sooner?? Also, you should be able to take him to court and get a judgment against him . If you know his businesses, or you know his banking, you can get the money out on a judgment .
You’re new here. He evaded ever paying anything, as many men do. Quit his job with his own company. Hasn’t had a job on record for 6 years now. And my family disowned me because I left the mrormoj church, but they were too poor to help anyway.
Just another “Woke” lady eager to find followers to help her necessity for reassurance due to her constant feelings of insecurity with her decisions. Poor lost lady.
There's nothing misogynist about trying to save a sister from financial and emotional h3ll down the line
There's a huge group that still wants to romanticise the idea of 'being rescued/saved' by a man. They will always push back and dig their heels in to drown out sensible voices like yours.
Keep talking, PLEASE. Advice like this is what will help to lift women out of abject poverty.
“After a woman turns 30 her dating market value plummets”😑
I am more attractive, have better hygiene, stable emotions, stable finances, better communication skills than ten years ago…. My value has gone up since turning and surpassing 30😤
I am over 30, and men give me MORE attention than in my teens and 20s. And it is for the exact reasons you stated. Expire at 30? That is a lie men say to humble women.
Dude. The thing about stay at home gf, is that your man doesn’t have to be bad for it to go wrong. Like, my grandpa was a good husband, but he died, and his best friend stole my grandma’s inheritance. So my grandma had to struggle to survive while being a single Mom. She made it. But it was rough. Not a good idea. Always have your own money.
It's dangerous enough to be a stay at home wife, the idea that someone would do it without a marriage is horrifying.
It’s like ask for slightly more money than what you need and put the rest in your savings account. Nails cost $50… ask for $65 and pocket the $15 difference. Gosh that still sounds like a terrible way to live though🤦🏽♀️
Moving in with a man/person is a financial risk, especially if you don't have the means to take care of yourself. I did this, and only after the relationship ended did I realize I was trying to date while being homeless (and the men I were with let me!)! Life don't work like that sweetie! Take care of yourself first!!❤❤❤
Thank you for recording and posting this valuable educational experience. I am truly sorry you had to go through this.
Wisdom accounts for something in this world. And by wisdom I simply mean a person experiencing a hardship and then sharing their story so that others don't end up going through what they went through. Please keep doing what you're doing.
Thanks for this comment 😊
Yes, cutting your kids off at the knees by denying them education, career prospects, and the ability to be financially independent IS child abuse. Raising children for a life of servitude, based on their genitalia, is just disgusting.
My uncle abandoned his family after his wife got cancer. Because my aunt had worked as an accountant for most of her adult life, she was able to support herself and her children. You tell a very sad tale for so many women. I wishing you and your children all the best. You deserve it.
@@Jennifer-my5dm thank you. My ex also abandoned me while I was battling an ovarian tumor.
I had no idea that children of traditional SAHM were mere likely to not receive routine, preventive healthcare and experience so much lack. That's really jarring to me. 😮😮 Thank you for expanding my understanding of how this can negatively affect children. No one should be comparing their lives with social media influencers or celebrities!!
You actually believe that? It’s pure nonsense.
They are the cult of mormon
My mom was a tradwife and I can confirm that we didn't get health screenings. My dad spent so much money on alcohol, cigarettes, weed, "popcorn", and lottery tickets. He didn't value our health at all.
@@UnrealDreamer3598 My mom was a trad wife and we were taken to annual checkups, dental cleanings, and everything else competent parents do for their children. Every other kid in the neighborhood with stay-at-home moms did too.
@@annemurphy9339 We are talking about statistics, not your own personal case.
Motherhood is the clearest indication of poverty all over the world 🌎🌎🌎.... Women have to be established first. Love yourself first ladies.
I have such a similar story mi us the religion. I even have a skill. Bit it wasn't ever going to be enough to support them on..thank you for this channel
Wishing you happiness in your future
Thank you for posting your story. It's really helpful to have stories which show an understanding of both views. Which show that women working is not just a feminist issue or in some way extreme or untraditional. It's just a way for them to retain their own individual value and be able to support themselves and their loved ones. I'm glad you've survived and wish you the best in the future.
I’m so proud of you! And did the mormon church, who told you that you had to be dependent, did they share any of their $150 BILLION to take care of their faithful women and children when their priesthood broke every covenant?
I hardly ever post. This is the third time I’m going to tell the story. my parents had the traditional rules way back in the day. My father worked full-time as marriage and family counselor and my mother stayed home and took care of the kids. My father saw so many women and their children fall under the poverty line when their husbands left them and they had no education and no real work experience. So he went against what he had been raised to do, and what he and my mother had chosen to do and he strongly encouraged all of his daughters to get their college educations. I and my sisters all have college degree. It’s been at least 40 years and I can look back and say it was one of the best piece of advice my father ever gave us.
Omfg I’m so sorry you had the rug pulled from under you😭 and I understand a man being bitter and not wanting to pay alimony… but to leave the kids destitute is absolutely disgusting. And for his new partner to be okay with him not being financially responsible for his children is beyond disgusting. What woman would be okay with a man neglecting children?! Thank you for having the courage to share this information. I’m 33 and intentionally waited until I was emotionally and financially stable before looking for someone to have children with. If it wasn’t for beautiful souls like you I would’ve unintentionally added more hurt children to the world. Once again, I’m sorry and thank you 🙏🏽
Thank you for putting out this message - you may well save many other women and children from being abused - that's good work you're doing.
I'd love to know how you got yourself out of that mess and what your day to day rebuilding looks like. A day in the life type of thing!
I am a stay at home mom with 3 kids, but I have always controlled the finances. Retirement planning for us has always been my job. Planning for what happens when my husband passes (old age or accidental) was a joint effort with my husband. Your husband sounds like he was too young and immature to marry. If he isn’t trying to support the children still, then he is a jerk.
I was a sahm also (kids now are grown) but maintained my nursing license and worked minimally once they went to school. The fact that I was 28 years old and several years into a nursing career, I think, made all the difference in the world for me, my marriage and children, and my ability to mitigate the risks of being a sahm. In addition to being immature when they married, her ex husband clearly has disturbing character flaws. She was also too immature for marriage as well, and I say that because she went into it incapable of supporting herself and dropped out of college at his insistence (major red flag). It irks me that tradwife content creators tell young girls to not have back up plans, that obtaining marketable skills is unnecessary, and that living at home with parents until marriage (where Mommy and Daddy pay all the bills) is a good plan. All of that seriously stunts maturity, as that's the lifestyle of a teenager. Financial independence is part of the adulting process, and high quality, well adjusted men want functional adult WOMEN, and not starry eyed girls living at home like teens waiting to snag a man. Pausing a career to be a sahm, or not participating in the work force due to lack of financial need and desire is completely different from basically skipping over the adulting process and never gaining the skills to be independent. Also, for a sahm to raise kids into functional adults, it's beneficial if she herself hasn't skipped over that process. I'm a traditionally minded woman, and becoming a sahm was indeed my goal. And I feel that I was able to attract a higher quality man precisely because I did everything that trad content creator Estee Williams advises young women not to do. I had a fully developed brain, a career to support myself, and I would not have been an attractive target for a controlling man like Jenny's ex husband. Nor would my husband have been interested in marriage to someone who had never lived independently and lacked the skills to assume adult responsibilities. The types of men who would want young women like that are the controlling, abusive types like Jenny's ex husband. So I would tell young women that if they have the goal to become sahms, to go into the dating market as a funtional adult woman living independently, and to not marry unless and until they have gained marketable skills and the ability to financially support themselves.
I don’t know what’s going on with the comment section, but you’re doing a good service with your message. At the very least, we women need to be well informed before we make a life changing decision from a tik tok trend.
Unfortunately most men know all of this, that's why they pull this crap. Spread the word sisters
I had a best friend for around 5-6 years, & then one day, out of the blue, she tells me she's moving 4000 miles away, simply for the heck of it. She said she went to this locale on vacay, fell in love with the scenery, & had just decided. She lived with her then bf. They were just gonna sell their house, pack up, & move. I didn't want her to move for my own selfish reasons, but I didn't mention my selfishness. There were still a million reasons why it was a bad decision, & I tried setting my selfishness aside & telling her all the other perfectly valid reasons why I felt it was a poor choice. She felt that I was a bad friend, because it was my job, as one of her best friends, to just support her every decision & be happy for her, because "that's what friends do." I knew in my gut that, as a best friend, it was my job to also keep her grounded & be open & honest with her, even if it hurt her feelings. I just couldn't make myself support a decision that I believed had little to no merit in her life, & it also hurt me to find out where we really stood as friends & where her mind was at concerning me. I finally had nothing more that I could think to say to her, & we stopped talking altogether. She moved, & we haven't talked in 5 years. I later found out that she got engaged, so I sent a wedding gift. That's the last time I contacted her. No speaking, just mailed it to her. It was very sad to have that friendship d!e like it did.
I’m so sorry. That’s terrible.
I’m single and a home owner and guess who came knocking at my door to talk to me about salvation? Nope nope nope!!!
And I live in PA, not a big Mormon population here…
@@maryannspicher I love when they come to my house so I can mess with their testimonies
@@maryannspicher wow! PA is so pretty
Preach!!!
I was already at the end of the line.
I don’t understand how married women can leave a marriage without anything. Half of the property acquired during the marriage, including the house and the business (if they owned it) should be split (community property). My friend is a divorce lawyer and she’s a bull dog. Her female clients walk away with assets.
I could not finish the video because of the awful noise in the background. Idk what is hissing in the background, but my ears could not take it.
Her nose contour is bothering me so much but facts
@@missshannonsunshine not my place to judge how she looks. She’s beautiful anyway
I'm with the tradwives. My wife and I have lived this way for 16 years now (13 with a son) and we're both very glad we did. But yes, it's always a good idea to be financially responsible, learn skills, etc.
@@Vic2point0 you’re an outlier. And you’re also not a woman so…
@@lifetaketwo7662 "you’re an outlier."
Prove it. Why should anyone think that most traditional marriages fail?
"And you’re also not a woman so…"
What's your point? My wife says she's happy and so do all the women you criticize. Plus, would you really dismiss my input if it happened to agree with your side of the issue? I doubt it.
When you have nothing to show for decades you won’t even get social security. You need 35 years of work history.
So, that’s not true. My mother was a SAHM for her entire adult life. She started collecting SS when she was old enough. She actually received more than her sister does on a monthly basis. Her sister worked for a significant part of her adult life. SS pays you more if you have never been employed because the government knows you would not have had the ability to save for retirement.
@@HereForTheComments990 👍
Not true.
Legislation was recently passed just for this reason. Non working spouses can now collect benefits from their spouses' work record. Ssa.gov for more info.
Mormons!
You mean Morons
so a serious question. i honestly dont understand why women who end up in your situation, take the kids with them. ending a marriage doesnt mean hes allowed to leave his kids homeless. surely thats gotta be illegal. given all the shuffling around you had to do with your kids, im honestly asking why you didnt leave your kids with their dad when it was over between the 2 of you.
A lot of women don't want to leave their kids with abusers.
Similar happened to my sister. He locked ALL of them out. He kept the house. He was physically and verbally abusive to them all.
Many times it's for the children's safety. The man in those households never lifted a finger to raise any of those kids because it was "her job" to do all the childcare. And no sane person is going to leave their children in the hands of an abuser.
My husband was a brutally comment abuser. He abused the kids. The courts gave me full custody
@@lifetaketwo7662 ok. i didnt know the kids were also abused
I believe your story because I can see the pain in your eyes. I experienced something similar. I don't think God ever wanted this for you. Although I understand you don't believe anymore, when I watched a video of how diligently you use to pray to help His children, in a way I think you are by speaking out against religious abuse and coercion, and what men are really capable of no matter how wholesome they appear and how much they say Jesus.
Child support?
Being Christian is not the problem!
The Bible talks about women being equal to men.
The problem is greed and miss0gyny which is an issue that is mainly caused by other men.
In the old days mother's have raised their children in a better economy by themselves.
@@winning3329 no it doesn’t.
The weird makeup on your nose is so distracting....
@@JoSpring judging women for their makeup is pretty rude
@JoSpring Agreed. As for "judgment", everyone judges, and at least your criticism was constructive. If heeded, it would help them to become much more successful at getting their message across.
Where were your parents?
Where were his parents?
.. I don’t understand why you didn’t go to someone’s family for help sooner??
Also, you should be able to take him to court and get a judgment against him .
If you know his businesses, or you know his banking, you can get the money out on a judgment .
You’re new here. He evaded ever paying anything, as many men do. Quit his job with his own company. Hasn’t had a job on record for 6 years now. And my family disowned me because I left the mrormoj church, but they were too poor to help anyway.
Just another “Woke” lady eager to find followers to help her necessity for reassurance due to her constant feelings of insecurity with her decisions. Poor lost lady.
@@claytondaddy the use of the word “woke” says everything everyone needs to know about you babe.
@@lifetaketwo7662 He has no idea of what "woke" means.
You picking a lemon doesn't make the plan bad. You got burned cuz you ended up with a loser.
most men are losers