She was on Steve Harvey a few times. One time he was giving her advice on how the open thing wasn’t a good idea. And the guy wouldn’t want to do that if he really wanted her. Then on another episode she was giving advice and Dr Drew disagreed with her and said he wish ppl would stop being fearful and and say what they really want.
Jared needs to create healthy boundaries. You are so right. Nice guys finish last. It is clear that as a DA, Jared has used avoidance as a coping strategy from past experiences for years and he is repeating the same trauma patterns in this marriage. He needs to set boundaries to feel respected. My guy YOU is the problem.
38:00 KABOOM!!!! That is very interesting. Can you show some examples of where this has happened in other high profile relationships where the DA went petty? I feel the same way and think Jared doesn't prioritize himself and his needs, which can lead to a build up of anger and resentment. Like you said.
My partner is exactly like this . Avoidant. Kojo petty is an understatement. He is very sensitive to any criticism . If I say something as little I'm lonely. Or I'm not happy in the marriage I swear he will just stare at me and store up the hate for another day. They will get you back ! In very dangerous ways you'd be shocked. Sometimes it's not only about boundaries, avoidants hate anyone showing them they're less than perfect. I became distant. I keep saying to myself I don't feel safe Another aspect kojo is narcissist behaviour. They are almost all avoidants I've been in therapy for a year to cope with my partner. There was a lot of inappropriate secrets, betrayal on his part and I couldn't heal cos it took a while for his betrayal to stop. If I mention how hurt I still I am oh man !!! He will be quiet but get me back in silent but nasty Ways eg smear campaign, isolation just to make people think I'm mentally unstable...why ? To discredit my truth
Now this avoidant has hurtful tendacies and immature behaviour. Yes the less than perfect is a real thing because of the feeling of rejection. Being perfect means he can’t be criticised and if he can’t be criticised he will be rejected. So crisis hits when criticism comes.
I believe I’m dismissive avoidant. I’m not patient. However, I’m not passive aggressive either. I have a tendency not to say anything when potential problems arise. For the most part something might be slightly concerning, but not significant. So, I don’t address it. I’ll wait to see if more things pile up. Then I end up confronting the person once I’ve had enough. Unfortunately, this seems to overwhelm people, or surprise them. I guess they get comfortable with getting away with shenanigans and thought I was ok with it. Because I’m dismissive, I will dismiss the individual into the abyss if they avoid accountability when I confront them. I don’t hold grudges. A sincere apology goes a long way. Anything else and I’ll block your number and forget you exist.
Yes this makes sense. The pile up is a real thing. And it’s because often the justification for anger or hurt isn’t met in a DA’a mind. Which is actually where the trouble starts. When u confront uve let several infringements go and now they don’t understand what’s going on. Why? Cause u never said it.
I’m dismissive avoidant and I’m not sneaky. So I don’t think that’s a trait of the attachment style. Maybe that’s just an individual trait to the one you’re thinking of.
There was a video that she did years ago with her sister Lauren which she was forced to take down because of the backlash in the comments. She was mean, passive aggressive and rude. That video showed the real Shan behind closed doors. Jared has taken a lot and will continue to do so because he relies on her financially.
I do recall seeing one video with her sister where she sailed quite close to the wind in how she spoke to her. I didn't think it was the same video, but it might have been.
I wonder if he went with her because of mother issues. He knew he could count on her for guidance. It appears after all as though he had parental issues. I feel that it would work for a while, but as he grows and matures, he would not appreciate her manner of guiding (bossing) him around. Also, she would not respect a man that she mothered. They may need a relationship overhaul. They both need to examine why they felt the need to have an open relationship in the first instance. Might have to do with stuff from their respective pasts as well. From a Christian perspective, i see it as a spirit of perversion. Something probably happened that opened them to this idea. It is unhealthy to have multiple partners as, again, from a Christian perspective, we were not designed to share ourselves with multiple partners. Almost every example in the bible shows the failure of successful polygamy relationships.
Can you do a video on spotting a DA? Bc I’m FA and I have trouble leaving when a relationship has progressed past a certain point. But if I know I’m the beginning I know when to walk away. Right now my dating is becoming more avoidant and dropping people anytime they do anything that reminds me of anything the DA in the past did to trigger me
Can you end up becoming a DA in specific relationships because im usually secure but there have been very pivotal discussions I've tried to have with my bf (non agressive and light hearted) and ive straight up been told im wrong,no dialogue and thrown with so much info, i forgot what i was addressing, feel intimated and somehow apologising 🙃.
@@andrealynetta3733 u don’t become a da but u can become avoidant more if you are fearful avoidant. As they carry both anxious and dismissive. I don’t hear of anxious becoming avoidant.
She's always course correcting him. I think she does that bc he's younger and it's like she's his mother guiding him instead of walking beside him.
She called him "stupid" in a recent interview. I baulked at that.
She called him "stupid" in a recent video. I baulked at that.
She was on Steve Harvey a few times. One time he was giving her advice on how the open thing wasn’t a good idea. And the guy wouldn’t want to do that if he really wanted her. Then on another episode she was giving advice and Dr Drew disagreed with her and said he wish ppl would stop being fearful and and say what they really want.
To be fair, I wouldn't take ANY advice from Steve Harvey.
Jared needs to create healthy boundaries. You are so right. Nice guys finish last. It is clear that as a DA, Jared has used avoidance as a coping strategy from past experiences for years and he is repeating the same trauma patterns in this marriage. He needs to set boundaries to feel respected. My guy YOU is the problem.
Wait a minute this was sooooo good! SOOO GOOD FOR ME! Thank you for the tools to stop avoiding and to be direct with people.
These videos are crazyyyy but saving my life. Definitely opening my eyes to a lot of things in my life I may not have realized before.
Come on now we love that
Shan boody comes across as mean-nice behind closed doors based on the videos I’ve seen with her husband and ex best friend.
Who is her ex-best friend? I vaguely remember hearing things about her back in the day.
38:00 KABOOM!!!! That is very interesting. Can you show some examples of where this has happened in other high profile relationships where the DA went petty? I feel the same way and think Jared doesn't prioritize himself and his needs, which can lead to a build up of anger and resentment. Like you said.
I WILL try my best to find some when i do i will produce it...thank you for this
My partner is exactly like this . Avoidant. Kojo petty is an understatement. He is very sensitive to any criticism . If I say something as little I'm lonely. Or I'm not happy in the marriage I swear he will just stare at me and store up the hate for another day. They will get you back ! In very dangerous ways you'd be shocked. Sometimes it's not only about boundaries, avoidants hate anyone showing them they're less than perfect. I became distant. I keep saying to myself I don't feel safe
Another aspect kojo is narcissist behaviour. They are almost all avoidants I've been in therapy for a year to cope with my partner. There was a lot of inappropriate secrets, betrayal on his part and I couldn't heal cos it took a while for his betrayal to stop. If I mention how hurt I still I am oh man !!! He will be quiet but get me back in silent but nasty Ways eg smear campaign, isolation just to make people think I'm mentally unstable...why ? To discredit my truth
Why in the world would you stay in this situation?
Now this avoidant has hurtful tendacies and immature behaviour. Yes the less than perfect is a real thing because of the feeling of rejection. Being perfect means he can’t be criticised and if he can’t be criticised he will be rejected. So crisis hits when criticism comes.
Sorry you’re going through this, it’s great that you’re taking steps to heal on your end. Praying for you and your family ❤
Great video as always. Thanks so much. They need marriage counselling
I believe I’m dismissive avoidant. I’m not patient. However, I’m not passive aggressive either. I have a tendency not to say anything when potential problems arise. For the most part something might be slightly concerning, but not significant. So, I don’t address it. I’ll wait to see if more things pile up. Then I end up confronting the person once I’ve had enough. Unfortunately, this seems to overwhelm people, or surprise them. I guess they get comfortable with getting away with shenanigans and thought I was ok with it. Because I’m dismissive, I will dismiss the individual into the abyss if they avoid accountability when I confront them. I don’t hold grudges. A sincere apology goes a long way. Anything else and I’ll block your number and forget you exist.
Yes this makes sense. The pile up is a real thing. And it’s because often the justification for anger or hurt isn’t met in a DA’a mind. Which is actually where the trouble starts. When u confront uve let several infringements go and now they don’t understand what’s going on. Why? Cause u never said it.
DA's are sneakyyyyyyy
I’m dismissive avoidant and I’m not sneaky. So I don’t think that’s a trait of the attachment style. Maybe that’s just an individual trait to the one you’re thinking of.
There was a video that she did years ago with her sister Lauren which she was forced to take down because of the backlash in the comments. She was mean, passive aggressive and rude. That video showed the real Shan behind closed doors. Jared has taken a lot and will continue to do so because he relies on her financially.
What did she say?
I do recall seeing one video with her sister where she sailed quite close to the wind in how she spoke to her. I didn't think it was the same video, but it might have been.
I wonder if he went with her because of mother issues. He knew he could count on her for guidance. It appears after all as though he had parental issues. I feel that it would work for a while, but as he grows and matures, he would not appreciate her manner of guiding (bossing) him around. Also, she would not respect a man that she mothered. They may need a relationship overhaul. They both need to examine why they felt the need to have an open relationship in the first instance. Might have to do with stuff from their respective pasts as well.
From a Christian perspective, i see it as a spirit of perversion. Something probably happened that opened them to this idea. It is unhealthy to have multiple partners as, again, from a Christian perspective, we were not designed to share ourselves with multiple partners. Almost every example in the bible shows the failure of successful polygamy relationships.
"the failure of successful polygamous relationships" How is successful and a failure at the same time?
Can you do a video on spotting a DA? Bc I’m FA and I have trouble leaving when a relationship has progressed past a certain point. But if I know I’m the beginning I know when to walk away. Right now my dating is becoming more avoidant and dropping people anytime they do anything that reminds me of anything the DA in the past did to trigger me
Spitting a DA I got it ok 👍
Can u do a video on da’s coming out of the petty game please? It’s exhausting to deal with but I understand why it happens just want it to stop 😢
Have you done a video on the fact she sent a picture of her pregnancy breast to someone else?
Can you end up becoming a DA in specific relationships because im usually secure but there have been very pivotal discussions I've tried to have with my bf (non agressive and light hearted) and ive straight up been told im wrong,no dialogue and thrown with so much info, i forgot what i was addressing, feel intimated and somehow apologising 🙃.
@@andrealynetta3733 u don’t become a da but u can become avoidant more if you are fearful avoidant. As they carry both anxious and dismissive. I don’t hear of anxious becoming avoidant.
Have you done a video on the fact she sent a picture of her pregnancy breast to someone else?
That was odd. Why did she need validation for that
Yes part 1 and part 2