why can't black girls be weird, shy, or nerdy?
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- Опубліковано 8 січ 2025
- “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”- Psalm 139:14
Growing up as a Black girl who doesn’t fit the mold can feel like a whole different experience. From loving K-pop, rock music, and anime, to being called an “Oreo” because you don’t match what others think a Black girl should be-it can be exhausting!!! But guess what? We’re not here to fit into boxes! In this video, I’m diving into what it’s like to embrace all those “unconventional” interests, how Black women are often erased from fandoms, and why it’s time to break down those tired stereotypes. 💁🏾♀️
Sources:
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Clips
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The hair: Ate
Messsge: Ate
Face: Ate
Glasses: Ate
This!!
Right!!!!!
Skin: Ate
Like everything is just beautiful ❤
Thank you for calling this out. Quiet black girls are accused of "having an attitude". No I don't have an attitude. I like peace and quiet.
Problem is a lot of people are extroverts and unless they are more introverted they won’t understand. For some reason I’ve noticed more outgoing and extroverted people interpret quietness for being rude or thinking that the quiet person thinks they are above everyone else which is not the case.
Istg the struggle is real...
Okay! Like I just don’t like riff raff!😂
And when you are quiet and pretty you get labeled as stuck up, standoffish, and mean smfh
Well sometimes it depends if they have a bitch face as well lol
My wife is a "weird" black girl. I love everything about it. Shes obsessed with kaijus, tolkien lore, the twilight zone, manga, comics etc. Its extremely adorable to me, because shes just herself 😊
She’s blessed to have you cuz it’s hard out here for us
Awwŵww!!!🥰🥰🥰🥰
You got a real unicorn. Salute!!
And if you speak about your dislike of their comments you play their game and they've won
Ain’t no unicorn. I don’t mean she ain’t no prize. I just mean adorable merry black women are way more common than you think
It’s not even others who talk about weird black girls it’s OUR OWN PEOPLE
This 1000%. With the mentality of most black people, they won't admit this.
@@MaisonMargiela-ch9coAlways playing the victim, never wanting to take accountability. It’s embarrassing.
Fr
That’s because that’s who you associate with, dumbass.
That’s exactly what I was thinking. I’ve been called a lot of things by my very own.
I’m a 40 yo black girl who lost her card back in the 90s for liking alternative music 😂 now I’m seeing a younger generation embracing things I used to have to keep under lock and key. I love this generation is breaking the mold
I'm 43, black, and some Linkin Park, Nickleback, Fefe Dobson, Papa Roach, Animal Ant Farm (did the Michael Jackson song remix of Annie are you ok) were some of my jams.
HaHaHA! Try getting caught buying a boxset of serial experiments lain and having the whole highschool finding out back in the early 2000s. That was a permaban from the 'Cool Dudes" and their wave caps.
I’m 35, and I’m white but I’m alt. And yall truly paved the way for me. in general I admire black women, but black alt is a whole other level.
Can we be friends? I am also a 40 year old black woman who has always been labelled as weird due to my taste in alternative music along with other interests not deemed "black enough." Smh
I just posted the same thing basically. I just turned 37. Did you ever get the "Oreo" comment?
"white kids get to wear whatever hat they want, when it comes to black kids, one size fits all".
Exactly!
Was that a Donald Glover verse?
Being a shy introverted nerdy black girl AND I'm an African kid so nobody can pronounce my name, man.... like pick a struggle 🤣🤣
Lol, I feel seen.
Same; OMG.
As a fellow introverted nerdy African with a name nobody can pronounce, I feel you 😭
You all are tether children so not surprised
@@yeamore6324 💯Facts! You notice it's the african/carribean tether anchor babies who are trying to bring all these irrelevant, foolish conversations into foundational black american culture culture?
I’ve never felt kicked out of fandoms by non-black fandom people. But I’ve FREQUENTLY felt isolated by other black people who don’t like that I don’t fit the mold.
I feel this.
This
I’ve sadly felt both over the years…kinda like that iconic Earl Sweatshirt bar lol
Just be happy. Enjoy what you do. All of it
@@Aesos3429This right here has always been my life. It's sad how we can't be anything else outside of obnoxious hood culture
There's nothing more demoralizing than being a quiet black girl trying to make friends and having other black girls write me off as stuck-up and thinking I'm better. Like, no, I just wanna be your friend but I'm shy.
7:45 is too real. Being called rude because im quiet is soo annoying. People will assume anyone else is shy but not black girls, cuz we have no right to be shy, uncomfortable or just in the background
Nobody ever called me rude, just “innocent”
I got called Boujee because of it.
@ oof, and what does Boujee mean?
@@lucidfangirl1030 Boujee is terms for someone of high quality but is stuck up & thinks they’re better than everyone. They were basically taking my silence as I thought I was better than them so I didn’t interact with them which wasn’t the case at all I was simply shy & had anxiety but I was smart & boys had crushes on me so the girls saw me being quiet as I thought I was too good for them but they were projecting. They saw me as attractive & smart & deemed me to be better than them so they projected that on to me & felt I must’ve thought the same even though i didn’t think like that
@@lucidfangirl1030 lmao this annoying ass shift lead called me innocent the other day please get out my face
I have been judged and mocked all my life for being quiet, shy and nerdy. At the age of 26, I just got diagnosed with Autism and ADHD. It's like people forget that neurodivergent black girls exist too!!!!
Same, but 35. We're out here ♾️
Yhhh me too
Real!!!!
19 and I have asperges! We do in fact exist!
Thank you!
Why do I never run into fellow introverts/weirdos like you guys in the comments irl, it really feels like being a needle in a haystack 😭
Facts, we neeeedd a discord
No one wants to run into anybody gotta find your folks online. Discord is a great way to
@@Shaydisabwe’ve always had to make our own lanes. Then they get mad
@@Shaydisab The reason you never encounter Black "Nerds" is because the ideologies are of those who are teenagers and those in their early twenties. Politics, the workplace, and a greater understanding of Blackness will push you into your culture or worst! You will be forced to rejoin your culture rejected by others
Or trying to find a piece of hay in a stack of used needles
Got told I was stuck up, had an attitude, testy, etc. all for being quiet and keeping to myself. It’s like if you’re outgoing and confident as a bw, you’re too loud, too aggressive. And if you’re shy and introverted, you’re rude and uptight. It’s like we’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t. We just can’t win.
Facts
I have even been shunned by family and not invited to family functions cause they said “Oh she likes to be by herself “so no need to even invite her. Yet they never even asked. 😢
We win we no longer care and value ourselves
depends on who told you that
@@blaqkatt5806 Is it possible you've been "Shunned" for having Eurocentric ideologies?
I found my tribe🥹 I’ve been called quiet and stuck up - I’m just a socially awkward black woman and love reading books. I love my peace too much.😅
We love your peace too girl 🥰
The stereotypical black girl killed me at 0:12
Very true, I'm convinced people just don't want bw to be seen. You could show up as the stereotypical bw (confident and loud) and they could still hate you.
Being an introvert/ambivert is weird, it's almost like people do stuff to get a reaction out of you.
@@andie8674 exactly. It’s like there’s truly no winning with these people so we might as well just live our own lives authentically because they are not going to accept us either way.
@@Queentiwa right. True beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and that's is you. never turn on yourself because people can't understand your vision of who your character is and who your trying to become. people who hold people back are basically people of ignorance. They can't understand you or relate to you so they basically badly judged you thinking they know you and know what's best for you but really all they are doing is just selling you short of yourself because they don't know any better because that's what they do to themselves. so keep letting your light sing maybe one day they will hear it. Sorry for the whole essay lol
Exactly!
Oh I did and still do show up to game conferences loud and proud. I joke, they expect a hulk and I bring them one. I gets mad respect too. This means when I say leave me alone, they usually do.
@@andie8674Please don't be offended by this but a lot of people including me find nerdy beautiful women super hot. They're attracted in more ways than one and they don't know how to approach because they are unsure of the reaction they will get.
Eyyyyy!!!! Clock it!!!!!!! Being an otaku, kpop fan, "white girl music" fan here in Africa is a whole sport!!!!!
Sport is too real!!! I even hate that when I have my playlist around my friends id feel embarrassed when my K-pop music plays🥲
@@lmaoaims Like God forbid I’m alternative! Small small leather jacket all over sudden I’m into witchcraft 😫, small small House music, I’m uppity and privileged 😫
@@tey5471 the witchcraft associations are real lol!!
I'm South African which part of Africa are u from❤️🎀
Gurl, we stanned BTS and our family members kept calling them "your chinese boys" and saying shit like "are you going to marry an asian guy then". Abeg let us live and have our hobbies😅
i totally agree with this but lets talk about how the monolith of blackness is mainly upheld and enforced in the black community itself. other races do stereotype and put us in boxes, but other black people are often most likely to make those who dont fit the monolith feel ostracised, more so than other races do this
So true. The black community is at fault too for upholding these stereotypes and making fun of people that fall outside of it. The number of times I got to hear the stupid jokes from my family about how I'm "a white woman inside" cause I listen to rock music, has made my blood boil. I've just distanced myself from a lot of people and lived my own life.
Very much true! We can be our own worst enemy 😢
@@JoyNova I totally get it sis. Some family made fun of me for liking Harry Potter and such growing up🙄 Like Lord forbid you don’t follow the stereotypes delegated to us through white supremacy and upheld by fellow black people.
Very true
THIS is so true
Being a quiet, shy, black girl. I agree with you wholeheartedly.
I wish all black nerds their own space where they can nerd out about their own special interests without being judged by their peers
That's no good enough. I wish we had an entire STATE set aside for us.
@@adamcheedlet4871an entire COUNTRY
I will still never understand why people seem to hate/ get confused by black people liking Kpop, especially….KPOP. You can use all five sense to see that it’s clearly inspired by black American (and damn I think now some groups are even doing AFROBEATS) culture- down to the music, dancing, fashion, vernacular, etc. It’s almost like those people like black culture so long as black people aren’t in it lmao
Almost?!?
Most kpop fans I've met IRL (including myself) have been black or POC too. Never understood why it's stereotyped as a white people thing
FRRRR
How is Kpop rooted into Black American culture? You've lost me there 💀
@@Luuuo04 not really anymore but old kpop really was black people rap base and if you go to old kpop songs like 13-16 years a ago you see it
Babyyyyy they don’t know what to do with us! I’m an introvert, bi, listen to kpop, watch anime, read manga, manhua & manhwa, play video games, write fan fiction, listen to ALL music genres (idgaf about language barriers, if it sounds good imma blast it), do art, and play multiple instruments. I also like to goof around a lot 😭 But somehow the world still makes me feel small, insignificant, and not “black enough” because I don’t fall into the stereotype of how they think a black women should think and act. I’m really trying to kill that mindset though cause it’s gotten to the point where I don’t make it known that I’m a black woman in certain fandoms.
We could be sisters or something, you're describing me almost exactly, all except the sexuality. It's been a lifetime of trying to apologize for not being enough of this, and being too much of that, and struggling to fit into a box that just isn't me. *tearing up* Someone finally understands!
@@CeleSeraI'm with you both. I'm an introvert. I love pc games. I like classical music, Reggae , Heavy Metal. I live my life the way I want to. I don't listen to Other people's opinions which don't matter to me. I'm an intimidating person to begin with anyway.
@@stevenrobinson9856 When I was in elementary school, I did an experiment for science fair playing music for plants - one plant classical, the other heavy metal. When the experiment was over, I discovered I loved classical music! I felt the need to HIDE listening to it when my parents (particularly my father) were gone, like I was doing drugs or something!
Heavyyy on the if it sound good ima blast it !! 😂 I will play twice fancy every morning
FIRST. I LOVEEEE YOUR PFP BEST STORY EVER! SECOND. KEEP DOING YOU. I will admit, sometimes it is difficult for me to do certain things because of these stereotypes but at the end of the day it’s your life, your choices so do what you want to do (regardless of what others may think)🎀💪🏽😊
Everything you've said deeply resonates with me. I am so happy you are discussing this topic. I am a 55 year-old dark skinned Black woman, who grew up in a small white town in Canada. I was the needy, intelligent, reserved Black girl. I became a lawyer. And, I can attest that both Black and non-Black people have alike, hated/resented that I do not fit into the stereotype and tropes about dark skinned Black girls/women. They are trying to limit us. Keep proudly being you.
OMG! I totally had/ have the same experience. I am a 52 year old dark skinned black woman originally from Montreal Canada. I now reside in the USA and boy, I really don’t fit. It doesn’t bother me too much anymore, the older I get. Have a blessed day!
I just found two new big sisters. ❤
Same, brought up in a small white village in the UK and don't fit the stereotypes I'm happy with that and who I am honestly 😊
@@MorenikeGO Want another big sister? I’m 49 from a small town in Washington State. I love heavy metal 🎸, play flute and drums. If I hear anything else from black people about my accent I’m going to 🥱 yawn. I’m not changing a thing to suit anyone.
This...
Feels so similar being a latino man. Growing up in Puerto Rico, being shy or emotional or even too kind is not manly or cool. It's exhausting to live in a culture that wants you to be inauthentic
Cuban here, I feel the same
Never been into my country's style of music, hell I can't even dance 😂
i see
pls omg this is so real. ppl on social media lately have been so rude to me about my looks/personality and ive lowkey developed an identity crisis bc of the comments ppl make online and irl (including my own mom). being neurodivergent is not easy in the black community. but i rly don’t feel like i fit in in any community. black, white, asian, etc. but i do rly wanna find another nerdy black guy. and not one who calls me whitewashed for being quiet/nerdy every 5 seconds.
Your wish is my command
🎀I was a black Goth into Goth, metal. Bjork, anime, classical music. Yep, and have never been accepted by any of my black peers. The other black girls I knew who were into the same things as me, like myself ended up joining other more welcoming communities. (Non black communities.) I was actually bullied and beaten up for 6 years from primary school to Secondary school, simply for being quiet and into different things. Being a school Librarian helped me, to get some piece. Plus joining loads of groups like Violin and Recorder class.🎀
🎀As an adult with children. I’m just continuing to be me, If people have an issue with it that is their problem.🎀
Are you fba?
I’m a nerdy black person but gonna admit I’d be put off by a black goth or metal head. Those culture in my experience is very anti-black so I don’t know why a black person would want to embrace the aesthetic.
As for anime and black people that’s an issue that’s long over for most black folks. Plenty of famous “cool” black people openly rock anime.
Do you have some recommendations for metal and classic music?
I want to listen to new music. Please
I'm sorry that you were bullied !
I’m very sorry you had go through that
I stopped caring a long time ago because other people’s perception of me has NOTHING to do with me. The people that are for me will flock to me and the others can just stay away🤷🏽♀️
And this is really the best and truest comment. Totally understand the perspectives here, but the bigger part of me DGAF. Lmao. The same people “hating” are actually in love with us
Exactly, if they play into racist caricatures and automatically negative perceptions of bw, then what the hell is the problem with ME?
Facts
Yes!
❤ nerdy Black girls! Do your thing! Join the weirdo brigade!
As a black woman who doesn’t like hip hop and lives alternative music. I noticed the ostracization came from within. Other black people told me “I act white”. The media doesn’t help either, I agree.
Black men in hard rock.
This. It never comes from the people outside the community, always internal.
I am the complete polar opposite of what my parents listen to
my comment of course gets erased and it left my comment black men in hard rock but if each of you look up Parkinglotgrass Rain man they are Black from Kenya but they are with Kenya but they still are rockers....
Africa has rock bands and even the older generations say that rock is a western music genre not knowing it was rock that made our Afrobeats a extensive listen from playlist to playlist or ya collect vinyls cds etc then its between each of those categories I love Fela Kuti's work but I also the fact Africa modernly has choices like rock to jam to gives me back memories of some non-Black bands like Paramore and more.
Not nerdy black girl but omg as someone who was an athlete in school I felt so bad for nerdy black girls. They got bullied for no reason because they were being themselves.
I think if I wasn't a bw, I'd have friends. I've been described as boring and the "shyest person I've ever met." I've also been asked why I don't talk and have had people complain about me being quiet (from ALL races). I've seen super quiet and shy (and quote unquote boring) non-bw have friends who appreciate them even though they aren't entertaining. Yet haven't been able to get anyone to find my personality endearing especially at my age. I feel like it's something people thought I'd grow out of lol.
Same girl. Sometimes I feel like there is something wrong with me but I don’t know how to fix it.
This is exactly how I feel. It’s disheartening…
Most of some of my best friends that I’ve ever made in my 31 years have all been white except 1 black girl elementary friends. 😢
I see you baby girl and I appreciate you for being you❤❤❤
We need hold a meeting a befriend each other!
This is so real I get tired of being called whitewashed cuz I’m quiet and like a variety of music genres 😔
I feel you. Nowadays I just laugh, and shake my head at ignorant, and self hating black people who perpetuate stereotypes. For the nonblack people who have an unrealistic expectation of black women I assume they have underlying prejudice and racist ideologies. In America quite often Ive observed many nonblack people having preconceived notions of black women without even trying to have a genuine civil discourse with a black woman without being nosey and trying to pry into the personal life to find a flaw in the character or stereotypes relating to their black identity. Its disgusting. I understand why black women are guarded around nonblack people cause Ive had these experiences too as a black woman.
@@Bellissimainfinite We applaud you not only for your individuality and uniqueness. But also, for being psychologically Black. We Black men love your consciousness! It's okay to be Black and "Different". The issue arises when we FORGET that we are Black despite our interests/passions
I have always been ostracized for this. Stuck up, too quiet, acting white, talk funny, etc etc etc
I’m sensitive, loyal, shy, diverse, and I’m a deep thinker who values deep connections. 🤷🏽♀️ I also accept others for who they are and value integrity. It blows my mind how black women can’t do nothing without being judged usually by our own.
Omg ❤ are you in my head?! Love this comment!
It’s so sad that we have to pretend be unintelligent and not cosmopolitan and wildin out to be taken seriously
Apparently, (according to fellow black people) "talking white" means talking with correct grammar. I'm thinking, "Sooooo, talking black means I have to pretend I'm back on the plantation where my massa won't let me read??"
@@strawberrylime33 Talking White means ABSOLUTELY nothing to Black people. It's when you accept, and spew European ideologies is when Blacks question you!
Same
As a black girl who has always been more introverted and nerdy, who got poked fun at for most interests I’ve had growing up, called “weird” “boring” “bougie” and a “wannabe white girl” for being more quiet/reserved, dealt with feeling different/out of place/not enough in relationship with others, and told that I have to “get out of my shell” to be more outgoing/social- I want to thank you for making this video.
It does feel alienating at times when you don’t see yourself represented. So, thanks for helping me feel a little less alone.
Growing up introverted *laughs in trauma*. GIRL I FELT THAT.
Say it loud and proud for everyone to hear. Tired of black girls being called an oreo for their interests that don’t align with what black ppl “should” be into
ho Oreo, nice one! haha In Europe they say Bounty. haha
AINT NO WAY,”SHOULD”?! MF DO U CHOOSE WHAT THEY DO/LIKE?!
Someone at work told me that I look like I married a white dude. Like bro my husband is fully black 😂😂
I’m going through this right now. I’m in a house where all the black girls are the same as far as being “stereotypical” like the same things, dressing the same, uses the same slang, outgoing, and I’m so drastically different. I’m quiet, shy, introverted, I draw and paint all day, stay to myself. And when I try to be friendly and include myself or add to conversations I get ignored, or just disregarded. I even smiled and said hi to one girl she literally didn’t smile back just gave me a weird look and ignored me…..so idk what to do about it honestly.
right, needs to change even sadly the black community OUR own people. Us black girls are allowed and will always say to be and not fit in to standards of anything and can express and like and do things as we please that doesn't fit or the comfortability of others and our people.
Get another group to hang out with...find your tribe.
@@carmenmonroe7 The Black "Nerd/Weird" crowd ceases during your teenage years or during one's twenties. As we age the workplace, endured racism, politics and a greater understanding of yourself will place you back into Blackness as you're brutally rejected by others
I am exactly in the same situation. I live with two other black gir. At first it was cool and everything but after spending some times together I realized we don't have anything in common. So I thought this time I will try to go outside my comfort zone. I started watching the same shows as them, tried to follow their influencers, tried to be in the conversation but the more we talked the more I got left outside. They made no effort in my interest nor to enlighten me when I got lost in their discussion ( just keeping quiet since I don't understand a thing). At the ends they spend all their time together and I just decided to stop putting effort. Now I mostly stay in my room and hear them talking and laughing together until late at night. It really hurt and I never felt so lonely when being with peoples.
@ I’m so sorry 😞it’s like that for many of us just know you’re not alone, it takes time in my experience to find people who you mesh with and have common interests and goals. I find ppl online all the time and nerdy or alt black girls online but never in real life. Things have gotten better though with the girls I live with I think from just being open with them and vice versa now we speak more and get along. It just takes time.
Well said! As a 53 year old dark skinned black woman, I’ve always had to defend my taste in music, men, and entertainment. It got worse when I decided I love K-pop! Somehow I “lost my roots” or whatever. Never understood why I had to be a certain way in all things, it was confusing and frustrating, and led to major bouts of depression. Still haven’t experienced financial security with a job; I have a bad habit of not speaking up for myself. I don’t care what people think about me, but it still hurts to know I’m not viewed as an individual with proclivities like everyone else. No I don’t have kids. No I’m not married. No I don’t wear makeup. No I don’t watch any Western shows (but I do like a good western lol). I love wine, going to concerts, changing wig colors and styles, and Monsta X. People need to get over it!
Lol you sound like the big sis I always wish I'd had, that shared the same experiences as me! (46 here)
This reminded me of my K-pop phase back in middle school. It was rough! Especially when I was gushing over the guys and my mom was like “those little Asian boys aren’t going to like you because you’re a black girl. No Asian boy wants a black girl.” 💀 like dang Mom sheesh
@@chillcreature737yikes. Well luckily that isn’t true nowadays. At least in my state I see it more and more. Hope you are fully embracing all the things you love nowadays❤
@@reen212000 I support you! You’re hobbies and interests sound beautiful. Keep doing you! I am an introvert Indian girl who is also struggling to secure a job. I hope we both find stable jobs very soon. Good willing.
It is only people that admire you that got negative things to say.
@@chillcreature737
I’ve seen Asian guys with black girls so your mom was and is wrong on that
I found my people! I was raised in the hood but I wasn’t “of the hood”.
In my high school in Oakland, CA there was a classroom that was not being used. Me and a couple of our fellow nerdy black folks picked the lock and went in there. I somehow managed to get the security guards to look the other way, so we would use that room as a reprieve to get away from the savage hood folks who would otherwise come and destroy the place. We had PlayStation, Dreamcast, 3 working PCs, dominoes, cards, tables for Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon card tournaments, a TV, a VCR - and even a damn stove (I think the room was for home ec classes). The stove was a blessing because we did not have to deal with the bullying animals in the cafeteria. I recall some girl bringing a microwave and a mini fridge. She cooked breakfast for us often, because the school didn't have breakfast.
The best part was, there were also two other mini-rooms in there, probably used to be offices. That was for those of us who needed to be alone for awhile without having to go to the office - they ask a million questions.
Though we forbade anyone to do drugs or sex in there, it did not have to be explicitly said. We weren't THOSE kind of people. Other than that, you could be a nerd there in a safe space, and nobody would mess with you. This was back in 1999, mind you.
@@adamcheedlet4871 im trying to get into Yu-Gi-Oh nowadays and it sucks because I don't have anyone to play with.
🤝
@@adamcheedlet4871 This sounds awesome. I'm glad you and your friends were able to have a space where you could breathe and express yourselves.
1:23 “I’ll take this potato chip… AND EAT IT!!” Is what I thought of because I loved saying it randomly 😂
Me too 😂
The worst part is that it’s by our own people. I’m turned 18 this year in literally realized that i barely have any black friends. I made one when I was under and she is still my bestie but like it really me think. Why do I never befriend my own race? Then I remembered being called Double Stuffed Oreo in elementary school by my own people. In middle school I was friendly with some of the black kids I knew but then that was probably because I didn’t show my love of anime and what not. Then in high school I didn’t even bother. Now I don’t really care if I get called anything at all . Like I get told that I literally wish I was Asian or white, and that’s not true I just like there culture as well as my own. I don’t know why we can’t enjoy other cultures. Now I’m ok with not being accepted by other black people because it doesn’t matter to me. I want to enjoy my life and the things I like
@logarithmus.naturali no fr and then they wonder why your seen with everyone else but them all the time 😭
My only two black friends are different states right now too😕
I went through that in my youth too. You're definitely on the right track, be proud of it. I was in my late 20s or early 30s before I even STARTED to stop caring about being accepted, and even now in my 40s it's a struggle.
I had one black friend in my friend group and we grew distant during the pandemic and I have another who's mixed but she's all the way in Miami for school 😢
Same, it’s just something you accept
It’s crazy that we as bw have no one but ourselves
Sorry wrong video 😅😅😅
no you're on to something girl
@@jemiinou 😂😂😂 I was watching bw dying by countless melanin that’s y
This!
@@annabelconstantine1241nawl girl you’re right
Proudly loves:
Anime ✔
Manga ✔
Marvel Movies ✔
Science Fiction ✔
Comicon ✔
…and whatever else (related) I'm sure I'm forgetting… ✔
@@adjovie Horror and Fantasy 💯 💶 💯 💶 💯 Programming, Engineering and Technology 💯 💶 💯 💶 💯 💶 💯 💶 💯
its all of that for me . add monsterverse ( godzilla )
Same
Same for me including kpop and some jpop
But no comics
I am
A African immigrant
A Black girl
Introverted
4’10
Neurodivergent
I’m literally living life on the hardest mode possible
I’m sorry to hear that you have to live this way 😢 I know that it’s not easy ❤
I finally found a video talking about this im neurodivergent(Autism and ADHD) it was hard growing up black because i never felt supported by the black community cause i was constantly bullied for being "whitewashed" and acting weird in general. Thank you for making this video.
It’s also no help that Black women are always degraded by Black men when it comes to nerd culture too. I play lots of video games and have had voice calls with guys when playing LoL, AU, or MMORPG games. They’re always interrupting, saying very racially insensitive things, mocking us, or treating us like we are stupid. It happens so commonly and it honestly doesn’t help the situation
And when a bw gets with someone that’s not black they get mad. It’s a double standard and it’s annoying. Like you rejected us so get over it 😤
Anime comics and gaming is not nerd culture! Lmao this is the first time in my life hearing that! I'm a 80s baby!
@@NintendoGameproit absolutely is nerd culture
The story of my life omg 😂😭 Let me be me in peace.
Even in France where have been my whole life people want black to act a certain way aka to act like stereotypical black person. One day a someone talked me I'm white because I had a bright smile in a picture. The fuck I can't even be happy as a black girl now 😭
That's crazy
Wow😮
Mais tu habites où en fait ?
This has been going on for a few decades now. Everyone knows a nerdy black girl, but the media refuses to put a spotlight on us. That is purposeful.
Rock music originated with black people.
yeah and every young black people forget that, they don't even wanna listen to you when you explain them that... If you listen to jazz or AFRICAN music they look at you weirdly.. black in the west, just believing in gangsta rap music, and purposely destroying evidence that black actually did peaceful music before gangsta rap! Self destruction.
As a shy, socially awkward,introvert, anime girl, Kpopie, books reader plus liking art black girl living in a predominantly black environment 😅 outside of my family I don't really have friends.
No one to share my hobbies and interest, no one to talk to, only people on the internet.
What a shame.
This is so true, I feel bad for women of color who have to experience this, and I hope with Megan Thee Stallion and more, we can change stereotypes. Thank you so much, for playing this. Gojo Naruto Demon Slayer Yas ❤
Im so sick of being outed just because I don't fit into some stereotype 💀
Like im always getting called weird and other things for being quiet like just leave me be
I deal with this intensely at work. I’ve dealt with it my entire life being and being recently diagnosed as autistic has really opened the flood gates of my social anxieties with how I’ve been treated throughout the world.
I can’t even count how many times I’ve been labeled as weird or rude simply because I’m quiet and into things that aren’t typically seen as “black enough” (whatever that may mean.) I deal with this from black and non black individuals alike. It’s exhausting and I can’t take it anymore. I just isolate at this point because having people assume I’m aggressive off the bat is heart breaking.
the isolation thing sums up my middle-highschool experience so far. im too scared to interact with people. the only thing that gets me through school is getting good grades and having somewhat good relationships with my teachers. i honestly don't think there's another black girl like me at my school, but this comment and this comment section has made feel a bit less weird.
@@jemiinou Real. Except I'm blessed to have the friends I have (two that I talk to frequently, five that I've either recently met or don't share many classes with but are still close). However, I am deathly afraid of talking to a lot of the people at my high school because their utter lack propriety. Don't get me wrong, I hate to judge people based off of my own preconceived notions. especially given how paranoid I get about how others perceive me, but some of the students at my school are, honestly put, bullies. I wish you luck!
@@anagglomerationofsorts Wish you luck too! I feel the same exact way! The gossip in high school is unreal. I feel like America is just too individualistic and sectionalist for me.
@@jemiinou Here's the TERRIBLE news.........Black "Nerds" will lessen in high school and be nearly extinct throughout your twenties. As endured racism, politics, and the workplace become more of a factor, you will develop a greater appreciation of Blackness.
@@jemiinou don't listen to DrumarJohnson. They a bot
Exactly, I grew up hearing comments that would allude that my quietness was a problem and somehow I had to change it. Guess what? HELL NO. Learning that I'm not here to fit someone's mental image of how a black woman should be freed me!
A woman said to me many years ago "you are a quiet person but people just wont let you" Be You! ❤
I’m 14. I do ballet, listen to kpop, andddd watch anime. I am introverted and extroverted it really depends. It’s hard to tell a boy what I do or like because they will just end up calling me white-washed. But recently, I’ve learned that if I don’t show my true self, people will never REALLY like me. I am very happy with the friends I have now because they get me. Thank you for making this video! ❤
As a Black Male, I’m able to relate to every single last thing that you’ve stated in this video.
Media only portrays the overly masculine black man, the thug black man, the sporty black man, and the sexually active black man in a positive light. (And most are Bi-Racial or Lighter unless they are the thug and occasional Sporty Man).
I, on the other hand am not traditionally masculine, I’m an artist, I love Kpop, and I’m a Performer; I barely get ANY BLACK MAN representing ME on ANY SCREEN (unless occasionally they happen to be gay and have any of the interest that I’ve stated, but I’m not gay; so once again they ain’t representin me👀).
Kaheel, mashallah , artists are dope. half of it true but i'll add this though. i am not seeing biracial men portrayed by the culture at large unless it is tiny set of Biracial men that sit neatly into the black looks ( Jude bellingham type of biracial ).they occupy the trendy biracial black male space but can't occupy the actual biracial spots.
as a biracial male with 5 brothers and a sister . Not looking like a pretty boi is huge penalty . My 3 younger brothers are usually perceived as insanely handsome and tall. I am an albino and i am a flat chested tall guy.. Just imagine how folk were rude enough to tell me to my "what happened to u"
@@PHlophe I’m sry to hear that ppl have said that to you 👀💔.
As a Dark Skinned Black Male I was always talked abt and not seen as the object of desire in my youth, to only be over be oversexualized and stereotyped more as I grew into my looks with age
It’s actually hard for me to accept compliments because I’m not sure of the intention of compliments lie
@@kahilmclaurin7800You don’t even know how much I feel you. I was a principal student in high school, and people HATED it. I got excluded from everything and got tormented by my own black brothers because I didn’t act hood and strived for academic and professional excellence. But I didn’t ever change and I kept working on myself. But when you don’t act like a thug or promiscuous, people say you’re not black enough. Because I liked to read and I wasn’t interested in buying expensive chains or Jordans I had people constantly tell me I wasn’t black enough. It did a number on my self esteem. Then my best friend switched up on me, and now, I am super lonely. But to be honest, I almost like the peace. And because I don’t fit certain stereotypes I rarely even make it to the interview stage in jobs. Sorry for trauma dumping but I had to get it off my chest.
@@Toplightskin08 thank you for sharing 💗I'm a black woman but I definitely relate, the "not interested in buying expensive chains or Jordans" part especially. A lot of my cousins are really outgoing, the girls have a full face of makeup and fake lashes, heck most of the black girls at my college are like that, so I definitely feel like I stand out in the wrong way, but then I remember that I shouldn't have to change myself just to fit everyone else's expectations of being black. I usually just stick with the nerds or art kids, I feel more comfortable around those kinds of people and they won't get at me for having social anxiety, another thing that is soooo surprising for a black person to have.
I get what you're talking about,amigo,I grew-up in a very bad-HOOD-in Philly ( I'm a black male & my neighborhood was all black ) growing up I LOVED Star Trek,Star Wars,comics,pop music & also classical music,etc,etc,.if you said these things out loud your BLACKNESS was questioned,the black females wouldn't talk to you much less date you. And on some occasions you may be beat-up too. LOL.Yeah it was like that for black males in my old neighborhood,so,I kept quiet,I didn't want that-SMOKE.-or stigma. Live long and prosper
Quirky introverted black woman here! I approve of this message. 👌🏾♥️✨
I felt this all the way in Disney/anime-watching, book-reading, videogame-playing, awkward/sometimes quiet and bubbly soul
Girl, you & I are one in the same😭 i think I found my soul sister❤
At 56 and black, I was told when I was a child that I don't act black. For a long time I hated myself. At about 22 I decided it's fine that I love sci-fi, listen to Rock music, and love Korean/Japanese food. I have and will not change and am happy. Looking forward to going to yet another heavy metal concert (Disturbed with Daughtry).
Ooh. Love Daughtry! Enjoy!!
As a nerdy black woman, thank you so much for making this video!
PREACH! Idk where to start but this is all so true. The work field thing is the worst especially when trying to find a job. The part where you talked about how no one ever thinks that the quiet black girl is just shy or naturally quiet is so real. I went to a pwi for college and learned that the hard way. It’s hard out here
@@xxLovelyMango You get it!!! We already face a multitude of barriers being black woman navigating the corporate world, but to be a QUIET, Black woman? It’s so stressful. I’m sorry you also had to experience those obstacles 😭
Unfortunately, as an outspoken black woman, I'm here to tell you they hate that, too.
@@mundaneamazingyes! I came from saying less and being more introverted to speaking up and my professors begging for my insights. Not everyone likes that 👀🥴 especially the nonbw that see you as competition when we’re not the same anyway 😅💅🏾
@@mundaneamazing But y'all aren't the ones mostly being bullied for the shit.
I’m 44, ladies get out of any community that does not accept you. That means you’re cut off game needs to be very strong, it is extremely hard to do. As in college, I did join an all black sorority, but I also held my ground, within my very large black family I had to step away for many years, And also with friendships where people just didn’t understand the type of life I wanted to live.
When you make the choice to be who you are no matter what, people are always going to question you. But your life is just that, yours. And yes, it hurts to reject people, but it hurts even more when you’re not able to show up authentically. I’ve stepped away from communities and people who do not honor the person that I am, and yes, some of it was a sacrifice. But I glowed up to a level that I never thought I could ever glow up to. Because I didn’t let anybody pigeon hold me or put me in a box.
My beautiful young black women, please my words, be who you are. Do not follow the masses, follow your heart.👑
SO REAL! The gossip always gets back to me that I’m uppity or have an attitude because I’m introverted since primary school. I’ve even had a manager come to me and ask me why I hate working there??? My supervisor just assumed cause I don’t speak much and when I did I stood up to her about not getting our breaks on time or waiting 3 hours for bathroom breaks…that added to the “attitude” allegations. Chile it’s hard being introverted you’re always misunderstood and the kicker is when they get to know you they’re like oh you’re so sweet
omg, I can totally relate I get picked on for being quiet and staying to myself and have been called every name under the sun.
I was thinking about the quiet black girl that I was friends with and I always just wondered why she was so quiet because in media (especially in the 90s) kids were quiet/ "shy" because of some problem they were having. She was beautiful, smart, seemed to have a close-knit family. It was like my personal goal to get her to "come out of her shell". But she was just fine and I didn't realize that some people don't like blurting out every thought they have (I do 😁)
This resonates I get tired of people trying to bully me out of being quiet. I'm okay with letting them deal with being uncomfortable in my presence because I know who I am.
@@leelee185 Same, same, SAME!
When they know you’re sweet that’s when they use you like a mule
Okay for lovers of musicals I encourage you to go and see Wicked, Cynthia brought me to tears as Elphaba. She's a nerdy witch and it was so refreshing to see on screen
The Commander Erwin charge speech genuinely jumpscared me. I literally cry every time i see it, hear it, or think about it.
This is why representation is super important so that we can somewhat normalize that we can all be different. Which is crazy we have to do that bc I thought I’d be common sense lol but this is a great video! There is a lot of labelling and excluding when you don’t fit the box of a ‘stereotypical’ BW. Being ‘weird’, introverted, shy and listening to all different types of music are some qualities that should be able to exist amongst anyone. Thanks for creating this video !!
*cries in dark skin introverted “me too” Black girl millennial career professional nano style/fashion UA-camr of Caribbean descent who went to a PWS in Canada for 14 years while living in the hood* 🤦🏾♀️
This makes me realise how psychologically powerful the media is with how it can change people's perception of any group of people, especially when certain movies or media become popular enough on a global scale.
Media is a medium. It really controls people and society in different ways, or at least our perceptions
As a French, introvert, "weird", shy, bookish black girl, Thank you.
As a 55 year old black, anime, rock and j-pop loving male introvert most you said applied to me as well. I didn’t fit in anywhere and I didn’t think that there were any black people (female or male) out there like me. There was no internet so I didn’t see people like me proudly proclaiming their nerdiness. It will continue be hard for weird black women and men to grow up in this society, but I am encourage that there are people like you who are letting them know that it is OK to be themselves. That is a lot more than I had. So keep fighting the good fight.
This message spoke to my spirit!! Raise your hand if you’ve ever been told “you’re the whitest black girl” or “you’re whiter than me!” 🙋🏾♀️
Also, your hair is amazing!!
Raising my hands, feet, and eyebrows.
Got "can I touch your hair" A LOT. "why do you talk/dress/act so white". Asking me to say certain words just to laugh at the way I said them ("why you talk so proper?"). More than 30 years later it's still a trauma, I still don't like to speak out loud much.
🤚🏽
✋🏾
@@MorenikeGO Have you raised your consciousness?
Screw what people think. Be yourself. In my experience, when we be ourselves some will accept us because we accept ourselves.
💯
Nerdy black guy here. Cant speak to your experience. Can only empathize with your message.
Its very true. ive seen it first hand. I say fuck it. theyll have something to say no matter what you do.
Exactly do whatever u want people gonna talk or say something no matter what h do lmao 😂😂😂😂facts
These were issues I dealt with as a teenager. As an adult it was less an issue. I met other black people in college who loved the nerdy stuff I was into as well. I realized caring about what some 17 year old’s thinks of me is irrelevant.
I felt really isolated by other black people, including some family members. They (including some mexicans) would call me Oreo, white, and weird all the time because of my nerdy interests and music taste. Those type of blacks were a major part of my childhood trauma and made me feel like I didn’t belong, but thankfully I’m still me and love the things I love. 💕 proud of myself for that. And I have peace in my life while theirs is always full of drama. 😊
Some anime I recommend:
Blue Lock (watch out for the animation of season 2 😩)
Frieren
Dr. Stone
I’m sorry to hear that you had to go through that, but it’s awesome that you’re pulling through. 💙
I grew up and live in a “white area” but our church is all black in a black area. Ppl there are nice enough, but the ones my age always look at me sideways. It sucks. Like I’m too black for the white ppl at home and too white for the black ppl in my church town. It’s tiring.
Also, what happens to the animation in season two??
👁️👄👁️
@ that sounds tiring! Sorry you went through that as well! 💕💕 Things are definitely better now that I’m grown up and don’t really interact with people like that. ☺️
And with the animation, it went down to a PowerPoint type of animation. Still good art just the quality of movement went down. 😭
Another anime I suggest is Dan Da Dan! ☺️
Shoutout to the black girls who love theater/musical theater/show choir
yes!! there’s only one theatre kid who’s a black girl in my school’s theatre department so i feel like i have to take up after her. but it’s interesting how she never gets lead roles even though she dances and sings incredibly well. but seeing cynthia erivo in wicked literally made me cry twice because of how i could see myself in her.
Add .age to that and you've got me. I'm a proud 62 year old introverted extrovert; a lover of anime ("Aren't you too old for that?"), foreign languages, and all genres of music. My own family called me "Oreo" and "white-girl-wannabe". It's taken quite a while for me to embrace my uniqueness and I'm so happy to see you've embraced yours. Keep it coming, keep it real!
Same thing as a 35 year old woman
You guys are so cool, i'm gonna be like that when i'm older too🥰🔥
I completely agree. I'm 58 and my silence makes women uncomfortable. But, I promise, with each year as you learn more about what you like, you sink into your skin and your soul, and you are so comfortable, you couldn't care less what others consider non-black. Great video, dear!
I felt you with this comment. Still going through it with my family.
It's as if we've all lived similar lives for "being different". I've gotten the same comments growing up (except I'm more of a loud extrovert😅)
my white friend said that before we knew each other that i came off as intimidating. because i wore black a lot is what they said. but i think it's just because i kept to myself and didn't smile all the time. it's annoying. i'm glad you made this video, thank you
You said it all and then some. As a Black woman in her 30s who is working on healing and nurturing her inner child due to issues you addressed, thank you for this video. It was needed and so appreciated. Also the hair? 😚🤌🏾 YAS!
THIS. AMEN.
This video is so on point! As a black girl introvert, people just assume what they assume. We basically have to mask certain behaviors to get what we want.
I'm 41 now but this was what I dealt with growing up. I had someone tell me I was the "whitest black girl" they ever met. Now I'm a mother of 4 beautiful blerd girls and I am so proud of them for being bold and unapologetically themselves!
I'm a black female introvert with autism and I'm so glad to be a UA-camr. It really gives me the freedom to express myself.
Thank you for this video! As a not so young, introverted black woman who doesn’t fit the stereotype, you hit every nail on the head! I’ve learned to just be me unapologetically and I do hope that the younger generation will understand that’s all they need to be! ❤
💯
I wish I had this video when I was a teenager because I had trained myself to hide my interests. Then being introverted didn't help as well. Society thinks we will act like the stereotypical black girl and I'm over here with the personality of Gwen from Merlin.
Im a young black woman and I really liked this video. I’m not really an introverted person. I’m more of an omnivert(both introverted and extroverted). I’d love to be the introverted quiet me more but people feel the need to bring out the loud annoyed side of me or the “extroverted” side of me. I think that this kind of explained how I feel a lot more. Thank you.
I feel the exact same way, i was struggling to explain this to my mom. Its like people provoke me or try their best to get a reaction out of me, it makes me feel like a dance monkey.
The amount of times I’ve had to hear “there’s a man for you since you like those Asian guys so much even though you can’t even understand them” is crazyyyyy
This message was spot on. The opposite can also be true. Having “too big a personality” is also a hindrance for black women. We simply cannot win in America. We’re too much and not enough at the same time, but they can’t do anything without us. Go figure!
Keep reigning, beautiful ! 💕
Gen X black girl introvert here, and have to say I’m grateful for these online convos. Like y’all I grew up being told I was an oddball, even in my own family. I loved my French classes and got called “white girl” because of it. I always overheard my siblings saying “why don’t she go outside and play or something” when I was happily reading or drawing in my room. My quietness made them uncomfortable, but little girls running around loud and crazy was ok.
Re: media I like the Sydney character on The Bear tv show. She’s smart, kinda awkward and is a strong willed character in her own way which makes her intriguing And of course Issa Rae’s fantastic Awkward Black Girl series which started on UA-cam. It’s amazing how so much of the world is more comfortable with Black women/girls when we fit into a box.
hahaha, thats called narcissim. your mother hates you boo!
@@autobotdiva9268Girl what? What are you even saying?
@@shueflyeeditstuff19xx exactly what i typed if thats what your family told you that you typed.
@ Oof, I’m sorry, I just don’t understand. You have a good one though.
@@shueflyeeditstuff19xx you typed your family told you that. Rhats called narcissism sweetie. Im a self orphan.
Thank you so much for this video!!! As a weird quirky black girl myself I definitely feel like society treats us as a monolith for example here in the uk for blk girls it’s all abt the baddie aesthetic (wigs, lashes, certain outfits etc…) and it’s like no let me wear the clean girl aesthetic or old money aesthetic 😭. But yeah even me being well spoke ppl will be like oh u speak white; why can’t blackness be associated with excellence and accomplishments but no ppl want u to be hood/ ghetto. It’s such a tiring experience. We just need to remain strong🥹🫶🏾
When I was in junior and high school people think I was acting white. But in reality I like different things
DUDE! All throughout middle school, I tried to stop being the "Weird" black girl who liked reading.
Slowly, I'm starting to realize and accept that it's ok to be the "Weird" black girl.
Now most of these kids are borderlline retarded and can't read. What is more weird, being in highschool and reading at an elementary school level or knowing how to read proficiently? What a sad world we live in where being intelligent makes you "weird". There is nothing wrong with you.
It's okay to be an Oreo ☺️
@@ueIl When knowing how to read makes you an “Oreo” something is wrong in our community.
@@shelleyshelley247 facts
I lived long enough to say stop looking for the same “grace” or trying to change people’s minds about you. Life is short. Be unapologetically you and enjoy your life. It’s a waste of time and energy trying to get people to see you, when they are committed to not seeing you.
As I watch this video there’s a viral tweet making the rounds about ayo edebiri being “one of THOSE black girls with middle parts for braids” in a demeaning and overtly antagonistic way, as if the author intended to shame her bc she doesn’t fit to this pre existing narrative of “how a black woman should be / present as”
This is a great video reflecting (even if by proxy) of being one of “those” black girls: anxious, socially awkward and nerdy.
Can we make a discord for us black women who are into this type of thing and love to embrace our weird selves? Cuz I’d love to talk about anime, music genre and other stuff with you all🥹
And I also feel like some people not all. Feel like they can't read people who are quiet, or keep things to themselves so they just assume that they are rude or have an attitude. Like I just like my peace 😭
That would be helpful. I go to an all white homeschool group… let’s just say I have a lot of stories to tell. The other day I finally let myself cry in the car because no matter what I’ve tried, the others just keep shunning me.
I stopped answering questions in class because they keep looking at me like I’m wearing a fruit bowl on my head
I stopped smiling and trying to smile because it doesn’t make a difference.
They still avoid me.
I’ve been going for 2 years.
The boys don’t talk to me when I say good morning.
The girls give me dirty looks and think I don’t notice.
I’ve tried to ignore it. Maybe it’s my imagination.
I love my teachers, and some of the parents are nice to me, but it’s not the same as being accepted by ppl my age.
Oh, also I’m ugly
@@shueflyeeditstuff19xxI’m not good at comforting. All I can say is that you’re not alone.
@@deez8068 thank you so much that means a lot☺️ 🫶🏽
Bro, a discord for that would eat. 😭😭
I felt all of this as a Black American woman.
I grew up as the shy light black girl that was kind of cute but not enough due to confidence and didn't have the personality to be considered "cool" or even black enough in school. I always stayed to myself, had the occasional inconveniently unattractive or nerdy type friends, drew in my sketchbook and listened to my music. I'd definitely get bullied by more fellow black females than anything else which sucked. It was mostly due to my childhood trauma that caused it all and even when healing that same feeling as an adult never left but there’s a power to it now. Yes I'm still to myself and don't entertain everybody because I'm unlearning certain behaviors that always brought me down. I actually love when some people get upset by my selective essence because it only refines who my people are and who can see the parts of me that's, at the end of the day, gravitational! I love my looks that I came to grow into more each day and my talents that only grow more vast with each breath I breathe :D And the people who see me treasure me for it!
Edit: Oh and my advice would be f*ck everyone's opinions and find your version of yourself with no apologies. Embrace the quirks and take it a step at a time. Also idk if you ever seen Assassination Classroom or Black Butler but those are my first thoughts on reccs. Love ya! ❤
❤❤
I feel like it has and is slowly getting better verses those of us that grew up in the 80s/90s.
Even seeing black girls wear colorful hair, different styles (emo, tomboy), listening to all types of music, etc. The younger groups (Gen Z and Gen Alpha)seem to be more accepting and open minded vs older generations.
YES. I'm a little jealous of it lol, but I'm so hopeful that things won't be so hard for the ones growing up and coming of age in this time period.
Im Gen Z, it def depends on the people. When I was in school, there were still people who bullied you for liking anime and being a nerd. Even dealt with it in my own family...
Watch anything by Studio Ghibli! My faves are princess mononoke, spirited away, and my neighbor totoro.
Yes!
I looove country music! But I hid it from everybody when I was a little girl.
Chris Stapleton is one of my fav
4:19 Really!? Cause when I think of a nerd the first think I see is a little black kid, holding a bunch of hardback books, glasses, and the peice of bandage or tape in the middle of those glasses. Honestly, i know the struggle cause growing up....that was me. The whole description was me in all the way up until now 🤓🙎🏾♀️
I guess I was fortunate enough to be surrounded and taught more positive things about ourselves
This is so prevalent in the craft community too! I’m a crocheter, and it’s rough. A lot of friends have talked about dealing with racism in a lot of online crochet/knit groups and it’s just so exhausting. Happy that I eventually found a black girl crochet group, but it’s kinda disappointing that even a simple hobby can be exclusionary.