To those reading this and still hung up on it: You’re gonna carry that weight King. Was bullied relentlessly as a child for expressing my nerdiness and operating outside of “how a Black Man is supposed to act”. Went through hell and those hellish experiences will ALWAYS be valid. That being said, the Black Girls / Women in my childhood are not all, or even majority of Black Women - and I’m not going to generalize the Black Women of my future based on the Black Women of my past. I know it’s hard, but we gotta keep working towards healing from that past, and embracing the love we’re getting now.
i've been a black girl who is a nerd/geek u name it my WHOLE life, and almost everytime i meet other black male nerds, they spend more time complaining to me that no girls like anime or gaming, than actually talking to me 😭, so it's so tiring to hear them act like the black nerdy girls didn't want them when at the end of the day THEY didn't want us
Same. Dudes treat me like a unicorn and question and criticize everything. “What’s ur favorite game/song/anime?” And then telling you that you don’t like that stuff fr or that’s it’s not that good. 😒
In my experience, they are either sexist or generally nice. I prefer to stay platonic and I have been asked out before, what makes or breaks these friendships is if they feel entitled to my affection.
im enby (but am afab and was socialized as a girl growing up so ID as a black woman, politically speaking) and I too have been one my whole life. i agree that the a lot of the blerd men project their insecurities onto us. not to mention that a lot of them get down the incel/red-pill/far right pipeline that really puts a bad taste in my mouth when i encounter them but that's a whooooole another beast altogether.
@@thecomputerartist8517 i was an out loud nerd since i was in elementary school tbh, and i know plenty of women of all ethnicities who were like that soo, i never get it when men say that women only liked it once it was popular or trending... pay attention there are so many women who have been geeks loud and proud for years. Like, hate to break it to you, but this whole comment just sounds misogynistic
@@thecomputerartist8517I mean considering the fact that there are hundreds if not women/black women in these comments who talk about being open about their interest in nerdy/geeky things and still had trouble clocking with nerdy men says a different story.
I'm a 37-year-old man I've been black and a nerd all my life and it has never harmed me in trying to talk to black women if anything it has only aided me because it gave me a uniqueness through my interest and perspective of life
These men don’t want black women. This is the excuse used predominantly by black men that date out their race. Which is fine just don’t lie. Or they are chasing women they KNOW aren’t on the same page. However, I think the 1st point I made is the majority.
I mean, I did get shit from black women for being a black nerd, but I also got fine black women who liked me still, so I think it is just a personality compatibility thing.
I'm a Black, nerdy guy and I've known plenty of Black, nerdy women. Heck, my cousin is a Black, nerdy woman. There was a time where I was considered an Oreo by my peers due to my nerdy interests. Nowadays, I don't really care about what people think of me.
But would they dare call black rappers or entertainers "oreos" for moving out the "hood", playing chess, getting a degree or accentuatie and pronounce words correctly and say "big" words in interviews, etc?
@@studiopillboy I am a 90s teenager who was a black skater boy Me and my black and white nerds friends game was Mortal Kombat 1-3 and comics I definitely can relate
@@vincentmartin3337 I will never get how our community hates being looked down on by white people for being “ghetto” but when we try to break those stereotypes we get called whitewashed. maybe we just don’t want to perpetuate the stereotypes that have surrounded us for years??
People need to stop disrespecting each other. I've learned so much from the people who tapped into other sources of knowledge. The nerds knew about ish that became cool way earlier than everyone else. Fact!
I grew up in a predominately white neighborhood and state. I unfortunately, experienced a lot of anti-blackness and micro-aggressions amongst my peers. A white girl in my class in the 6th grade once told me I couldn't cosplay as Hinata from Naruto because I wasn't white. I had no community to connect too and it was difficult to establish friendships because my peers "didn't get me" or I didn't fit in. I developed a really low self-esteem and I at some point. felt ashamed of my blackness. But once I moved away as an adult to more culturally diverse state, I realized that I had nothing to be ashamed of and that there was nothing wrong me, it was quite literally my environment that was the problem. I'm glad I left my hometown lol
I resonate with the Hinata thing. Ive been an artist since elementary and even then it was depreciating to not be seen as the normal to other cultures. Anime especially 😭
ME TOO! That’s I can’t really relate to this as a nerdy black girl bcs I’ve grown up in a very predominantly white area. Like I’ve JUST started gaining black friends that like anime in this past year since I moved lol. I lived in the country too so I was literally in the trenches, plus I was really quiet/shy and awkward throughout elementary-highschool. 💀
@@Noisemadd it makes me so angry because who TF are you to dictate my quality of blackness whitboy? Not mention it shows they just put black people in a box.
My now wife took me to watch her play DDR on our second date. She was the only black girl who was president of the Japanese club in high school (LOL) and DJs exclusive house and trance music. The girl was wearing suspenders when I met her 😂😂. She is my true soulmate and it’s the happiest I’ve ever been. We’re going to Tokyo this year for our delayed honeymoon and we can’t wait to geek out together. Black nerdy women also love black nerdy women and it’s a beautiful combination. So thank you for acknowledging something that has been an inherent truth for us :)
There is also a conversation to be had about black parents and the adultification of black boys contributing to the self loathing that many black nerdy boys feel growing up. The idea that having an interest in comics and anime is childish as opposed to something that stimulates the imagination plays a big part in this. All romantic interactions are tied to parental/domestic development and when parents invalidate the interests and passions of their children that is also a form of bullying.
A lot of my hobbies are considered childish by my family and I'm a woman, but I say I like it and keep doing it. I've always been strong in my sense of self though and it caused me to have almost no friends as a kid. My male cousins are also nerdy but more sheltered.
@@squirrel670whats the point in embracing your identity if it just means you’ll be alone. but its like when i let go of my nerdy hobbies i made more friends, yet i somehow feel empty. its like there’s no winning no matter what. im kinda rambling but i just dont understand the point to anything.
@@ZeroCloudsZeroSkies The point is to be yourself and that it gives you peace to have friends that you know are with you for who you are. You can relax with them. I personally see which people I can be comfortable with and adjust to person and increase with closeness. If it doesn't vibe then that's okay. I never had a lot of friends, but the friends I do have I can actually be real friends with then. You can even make friends with your hobbies, online friends are just as valid and they got me through elementary and middle school. We flew out to meet one of my bf's friends from gaming for the first time, and he let us stay at his place for free and borrow his car. There's always people you can get along with and you don't need many to be happy. What kind of hobbies do you have that has no one interested? Personally commenting in the comment sections is one of my hobbies. People may not understand it but they know it makes me happy and that can be enough for them to show they care to acknowledge what my hobbies bring to my life or mean to me. If you're interested, would you like to see if we can be friends or at least I can listen to you? I can give you my discord and I'll be busy since work is coming up but let me know if you'd like my ID.
I'm really glad you said this because this is the root of Donald Glover's misogynoir. He grew up as a Jehovah Witness( which is a cult) and has talked about his mother in stand up. It's very clear he resents his mother and that relationship has distorted the way he sees Black women. I'm a OG Donald Glover fan, I'm talking Derrick Comedy days.Yes, I find the way he sees Black woman as problematic but I never took it personal because it's not my burden to carry, it's his.
I do agree with this. Things have changed for the better. I dont think this is much of an issue anymore, but when I was in middle/school high school, it really was rough for black nerds ESPECIALLY in the hood I understand it's extremely upsetting to some of these people as well when you see the same people who mocked you, tweeting/posting about anime. There's been a huge culture shift, and black nerds are much more open to each other now.
Exactly. People are forgetting how it was and telling those who went through it that it never happened just because a few nerds they met later on in life are assholes
@FencingMessiah it's true, it is toxic to blame current black people/ women who did nothing wrong in terms of hating nerds. Gatekeeping sucks. But I feel like Michael B Jordan demonstrates this pretty well, when he confronted that girl who bullied him and was trying to be nice to him. There were women and men that hated black nerds, and actively made our lives harder. We don't need to white wash that.
@@hermanmusimbi4337 yea, but I feel that's because mbj ended up so far above the game. Most nerdy men are not in his position. Like if your life is better than 99% of people and you're still tite about middle school you have a problem and should probably seek therapy. For a lotta black nerds they were shitted on in school and now they are being shitted on for completely different reasons and being told it was their fault for being shitted on something that would not be tolerated for any other bullying situations
As a black nerd, the main women who showed me love were black women. IDK why young black men dichotomize themselves as "thug" or "nerd" when there's so many more social facets and groups to fall into. There are black women who didn't like me growing up but there were ones that did. Growing up in a primarily non black environment, there were also just way more nonblack women (esp nerds) who didn't want me either. I've been with less "nerdy" girls in my life than "normal" girls, and looking the way I did back then didn't help either.
@@skinnytimmy1 I can tell people with this type of thinking are really young, like teens and young adults because it’s such a “girls only want the jocks and not a nerdy guys like me” mindset. Like why are you limiting yourself/other people to one category or the other??
@@strudelhsis these things still happen way into adulthood. I remember my homegirl said watching people in groups is like high school all over again. Folks wanna be wit the popular. I know you see it on Social media
liking a thug is a death sentence to get caught up in whatever godfather nonsense they got going on. as a black woman i much rather prefer some dude who will stay indoors with me to watch the new bleach arc
@@janaekelis this is relieving to read my queen. To add to your point, is it crazy to say that bw disproportionately reward the destructive men of our community more than the productive men? Genuinely asking because people are seeming to get offended when folks state the obvious.
To add onto this I feel as though black women are socialized to seek out a stereotype. A pinnacle of toxic black masculinity and that ends up coming back to hurt them. Patriarchal men are terrible no matter what culture they come from
I don't leave comments on youtube. EVER. But this subject is close to my heart. And I waited til I finished the video before leaving a comment because I wanted to make sure I wasn't just reacting to the title. Off top, thank you for making this video Pillboy. It's a refreshing deconstruction of a tired narrative. Your breakdowns were strong and I'm in complete agreement across the board. Context: I turn 40 this year and am the Cis-het son of a white mom from the US and a Black dad from Guatemala. I was born in the US and raised on the West Coast, East Coast, South and Midwest. My parents split up when I was an infant and I was raised by my mom predominately in spaces where I was the only Black person and so I grew up with a social/cultural disconnect from Blackness in it's broadest sense as well as the culture of my specific tribe (Garinagu). The core of this video(as I perceive it) was actually about how the trauma as a result of stigmatization/othering due to various systems of oppression including anti-Blackness, misogyny/misogynoir, etc leads to us policing Blackness (as well as gender roles) in harmful ways during our formative years that negatively impact us in multitude of ways including socially and romantically. I completely agree. When we tell ourselves not to act in ways that non-Blacks wouldn't approve of that's respectability politics. But when we also punish ourselves for not performing the most commonly accepted forms of Blackness; it's the same thing. If you are weird like I was/am weird then it's really disorienting. Anti-Blackness that I absorbed from both the media and being raised away from other Black people created shame within myself and messed up my relationship with Black people as a whole and Black women in particular for the first 20 years of my life. And during the phase in my life where I began dating, it was white women because that's what I knew, who I was socialized to engage with and encouraged to be attracted to both culturally and aesthetically. I also leaned into that "Black women don't want me cause I'm a nerd/weird/whatever". But I didn't yet examine how wild, limited, inaccurate and harmful my views of Black women and Black people as a whole were. Thankfully (Black) people who cared about me intervened and helped me unpack, decolonize and just generally step back and examine all that madness. By my mid 20's my dating and social life were much more ethnically/racially diverse and by my late 20's I was mostly in relationships with Black women. American Black, African, Caribbean, Afro-Latin. All of it. That continues to this day. At no point was my deep passion for anime/cartoons, comics, sci-fi/fantasy novels, movies, RPG's or any of that stuff an obstacle towards finding companionship of any color once I let go of those deep-seated biases. The fact that I'm equally nerdy about cooking, travel, hygiene, dancing, music and clothes didn't hurt either. And beyond aaaaaaaaaaaalllllllll of that: At a certain point I realized that my friends/companion doesn't have to appreciate all the things I love. They just have to appreciate me. I've had partners who never expressed interest in anime so I don't watch that with them. Others don't care about music so I don't play my original compositions, remixes or DJ sets for them. Not forcing myself into having a 2-dimensional personality defined by a handful of things I really like let me meet people where they are at instead of forcing them to either celebrate that niche or be rejected by me. I hope people are able to absorb all the goodness from this video and get on some of that internal healing that society doesn't want us to have. I support universal Black love and I feel like this creator does as well.
I’ve been a short black nerd since birth and I’ve had NO problems gettin with black women over the years cause I don’t use misogynoir as a tool for projection and internalized self hatred
Just because you didn’t have that experience doesn’t mean other didn’t. It’s not “misogynior” to really call out shit like this if it’s true, especially when it has other implications as well.
@@ryanbrown9833 I never said you didn’t. In fact the video explicitly explains that your experiences growing up is valid. What’s not valid however is to make a harmful generalization based on said experiences.
thank you for this!! as a nerdy black girl, moving to the south changed my life. the black men down there are nerdy and fine... and love black women. it was amazing
girl you better than me, I left after they refused to treat me like a human. I'll still pray you find you the perfect boo, maybe you just build different 😂❤
Things were bad back then, things are better now both in Africa and America. I remember back when I was in Africa while in Primary school being a nerd was basically a death sentence cause it meant everyone got the green card to treat you like crap. Then fast forward some years later in High School, being a black nerd was now normalized. The world is ever changing.
I had the exact same experience but I grew up in Puerto Rico. It’s still insane how accepting and chill the culture over there has become for more niche cultures and nerds.
@@zcnaipowered7407 Right?? Lmao it’s so funny, cuz we know how things used to be. But nah, I’m just really happy how things turned out. Now our youngins don’t have to worry about that type of stuff
As someone who's been a "black nerd" my entire life and literally grew up surrounded by "hood" dudes and the like, I'll say this. No one has to like you. So many other "nerds" I knew in highschool barely had a personality. Talking about your favorite video games and anime all the time is not a personality. And many of the "nerdy" guys I knew in highschool were so uncomfortable around girls that some of them would literally be hostile towards them. I remember one of my best friends at the time was a super "nerdy" white guy and his girlfriend was so hot it blew my mind lol - but he was always himself no matter who was around, and he had a personality outside of anime and video games. I personally didn't know any "nerdy" blk girls in highschool, but many blk girls gave me attention, affection, etc, and would even tell me that they liked how smart I was. This myth that black girls/women are somehow drawn to stupidity is literally a white supremist trope, and a lot of these so called "black nerds" complaining are closeted white supremists, which is probably the conversation we should actually be having. Anyway, with that said, no one has to like you. Don't nobody owe you their time, attention or affection, except your parents. People need to grow up, check their own bias assumptions, and move on with their lives.
Say it one more time cause You’re preaching! But I agree with everything you said and we really need to touch on Black Nerd Closeted White supremacy, because i suffered from that in my teens and thank God I had a teacher of black history to show me there was way more to us than what I and others thought. So that would be a topic to really hit on.
Calling it a "white supremacist trope" kinda makes everything you're saying sound ignorant. You're ignoring people's lived experiences, assuming they had no personality, and blaming them for 'being weird' or quiet around women, completely invalidating any experiences they may have had that may lead to them being that way.
@@toasterowens8916 so the black nerds that think that black women are somehow inherently attracted to less intelligent men experienced this? How many girls/women did they experience this with before centering part of their lives around a racist trope? All of them? It honestly sounds like a projection from immature young men that refuse to take responsibility for their own lives. Black women don't owe you anything. Grow up.
Ive been a nerdy black girl, and chose the path of the light. But reflecting on it, i tried to impress nerdy black men so much i amped up the misogyny internally. I stayed away from "girly" nerdy genres. I stayed away from non sport or shonen anime, played games like stardew in secret, picked male characters in games (except Samus). I felt my black card was taken away, my fem card and my nerd card if i didnt constantly prove myself to male nerds. I was craving approval, and caused damage to girly nerds. We aren't a monolith, thats a good thing
Understood, Im an older black man who is a nerd. I was bullied picked on from elementary to sopmore in highschool during my childhood, i love the intricacies of music, science, and spirituality and gaming . I started to to lose weight, belive in my myself at 18. Since then, I've been approached or women many were black women who were needs from the hood that genuinely loved and respected me for me. We have to stop saying noone likes black nerds in general. We are striving, succeeding ans winning now. We just need to reap our benefits. Also use more discernment to who truly reapects, and embraces us as nerds on any aspect.
@kinchcherry5227 I take it for granted how hard it was to find "your tribe" before the Internet. There weren't many nerds were I grew up, now as an adult I can find people with my niches who are also willing to embrace me. I wish my younger self knew that, cause being in a nerd island can be toxic
You’re not the issue or your nerdiness! The problem lies with any human being saying they love so&so nerds untruthfully. Whether it be black or white there’s folks saying that when really they mean that they like relatively attractive people that don’t look like they’re into nerdy things. It’s not fair to either side but is raw truth. I prefer to give most people a chance regardless of self titled nerd or jock. (Flattop Chicken) has a great video breaking it down
I’m a black nerd who comes from an entire family of black nerds. My mom put me on to anime when I was 3 and my dad put us on to video games when I was 4. Haven’t looked back since. Growing up many black people didn’t like me not just black guys I found attractive. I became immersed into black culture and hood culture. I realized i needed to be in the spaces around other black nerds like myself. It’s sub culture and I was so happy to be apart of the crowd, other black nerd families and events. Anyone who says that black women don’t date black nerds is purposefully ignorant bc black nerd women exist and they just admitted that they aren’t in the sub culture as much as they think they are bc they aren’t in those black nerd spaces. They act like only black men can be nerds and that’s not true either. I’m saying this as a nerdy black woman who is dating a nerdy black guy. We go out, we play video games, we watch anime, we have discussion on quantum mechanics and other science topics
i am a black afab. i am currently in therapy and just genuinely start working on purging the darkness. I dont want to be angry. i dont want to hurt the people i care about because i never really delt with my own trauma from being bullied growing up. this video is very validating. thank you,👑 king👑 !
Well done. I began my mental health healing and shadow work years ago as a middle aged man. Forgiveness and acceptance changes your entire mindset. Healing helps release all the bitterness, hate for self or others. Keep up the good work.
I'm glad I got out of the "There's no black nerds" mentality cause it was genuinely hindering my love life. Just go with the flow, you'll find your one gango. Love comes to you as they say
Im so glad i found this! Resonates with my personal experience in so many ways. I was always bullied or rejected for being a nerd. Im also autistic so that didn't help me at all, but when i started embracing my uniqueness, things started falling into place 😊
For every black nerd guy complaining about not being able to be seen by their female counterpart, there is a black nerd girl who has that same story, if she wasn't a 'dime' or had other desirable features, she was overlooked as well. It does more harm than good to try to play who has it worse, we all just need to be empathetic to each other's experiences and stop holding new potential partners to standards that didn't deserve. Many people do stop dating their own race based on a few experiences they had and that's very silly.
Physical attributes are important for Blerds…. These are men who watch petite Asian/African/white female characters…. 🤷🏾♂️ I’m honestly not sure what some of you expect. You also have the option to WORK on increasing your physical attractiveness all while being a Blerd. Go to the gym, honey masks/facial creams, Self care etc. Its definitely not the END all be ALL. I watch anime in the gym 🤷🏾♂️
@@FalseProphetFallacythis is also true. She still has a BETTER chance than any male Blerd in her predicament. She probably needs to try to date blerds on her level of physical attractiveness.
Same for me, I've only dated nerds the whole 23 years of my life. What people aren't getting is that women in general, not just black women. We don't like weirdos or someone who is pushing a romantic relationship on us. Some of them happen to be nerds. I'm sure this same thing applies to men.
as a black nerdy woman growing up I was bullied by black boys who werent interested in the same stuff I was, im not going to carry that into my adulthood 😭 and let stuff that happened in the past set the tone for the future. thats like self sabotage.
Growing up as a black girl nerd/geek I’ve always been attracted to black nerdy/geeky folks and still do. When I was in school I noticed that the black boy nerds didn’t like nerdy black girls they wanted the popular girls and would make fun of nerdy, geeky, and odd girls. Now it wasn’t all of them but a lot of black nerdy boys I noticed was like this. They would even go so far to embarrass you in front of the popular kids to make them look cool. This happened to me and to other girls throughout my childhood in school. Also I want to add that I know that nerdy black girls was interested in popular boys too but we didn’t trash nerdy boys so that they would like us.
@@cseptember6562 no this black girl is sharing her experience, which u took as an opportunity to literally do what your mad at us for “doing”. the guy in the video literally validates your experience, and tells you not to blame all black women for your trauma because they also went through the same thing, and instead move on and heal. i genuinely think u did not watch the video 😭
@@jalaarts I never got mad at her or said she was lying. I said if a black man said what she said he would be called a liar which is true. He validates nothing lol. He literally is basically saying that it is self inflicted which is a lie. I never blamed all black women. But it seems like black women blaming all black men is fine to many in these comments
I loooveee this!!! As a black woman that used to be a professional comic con model this is sooo real! If I'm honest it was always black men that tried to invalidate me. It was like 2012-1215 so fortunately (or unfortunately) it wasn't too many in general but they were always the ones trying to challenge my audacity to be there or even discredit me all together. The white ppl (men and women) paid hella to take pics with me and appreciated the novelty of my presence but black women were like 70/30 in like 70% would just be excited in the environment and take me as a part of that experience, and bout 30% would get mad and feel like I was trying to get attention and just look sexy when at the end of the day I was paid to be there with like 20 other white women they didn't try to challenge 🤦 but with that said in regards to black men about 40% took the ladder and would also challenge me and about 56% completely tried to invalidate or discredit me in favor of the white models 🤷 was so weird to me and even tho at that time I was conscious enough to understand the situation it was still a eye-opening experience in regards to the reality of blackness in certain spaces.
This is accurate outside of this space as well, black men are the ones I see often times going after black women in popular IP's who (usually are seldom casted in these spaces) wether original or recasted (from a white person) are already recieving hate from white people, they always pile one to be like "Yeah! black women don't deserve rep here either!"
I'm conflicted. I do think many black male nerds are being gaslit. For years/decades if you were into anime and nerdy things as a black male, many black people would look at uou as if you grew a second head. But now that Marvel made it trendy and cool to be a nerd, as well as better animation quality in anime, everyone is a so called nerd now. If you're gen z or younger you wouldn't understand the struggle but if you're a black male millennial, you absolutely got no love.
Yup it's the same thing with bullying on the Internet. All of a sudden everyone is a victim of it and no one was a perpetrator. It's gotten so bad with the 180 jujitsu that I've heard ppl say nerds deserved the bullying because of modern terrible famous nerds.
Born in 96, so old enough to actually remember 9/11, Toonami after school on CN, Kids WB all shit. Me getting a girlfriend at 13 showed me girls can like me regardless the fact I’m a huge Sonic fan. The fact I liked Sonic barely came into convo cause they didn’t like it. And that’s okay. We both liked hip hop and dancing. You can share other passions with people too.
@@FencingMessiah I’m wasn’t downplaying. I mean why would I talk about Sonic with people who don’t really care, know, or are willing to learn about Sonic? You don’t talk about every subject you like with every person you meet right? I still wore Sonic shirts and shit. I still do. But when around people who shared my interest boom! I also like animals, space, history, politics, social discussions like this, of course video games, anime, cartoons, comics, books of various genres and more just like you I bet. So we share our love of hobbies with people who like them too or are willing to learn about them.
@@FencingMessiah plus I was ostracized, plenty of times. I had to learn to be comfortable with myself, with being alone, and not everyone liking me or downplaying me cause I’m a skinny nerdy black guy. Who would still flex on niggas and pull women at my own rate. I had to learn a sense of confidence with myself and changing my sense of style. Also just general up keep of my appearance helped. Used to leave the crib with wrinkled shirts and pants. Not a good look bro. And the change was good it still expressed me but more clean. My friends say I kind of dress like a dad cause of my button up shirts but still fresh with the kicks.
This comment section is a minefield lol I'm a 34 year old Black man, my dating experience hasn't been mostly Black women and at a time I thought it might've been because Black women weren't interested in what I had to offer, but I also live in a predominantly white area and was using dating apps with mostly non-Black women on them, both not the greatest indicators of anything real. I didn't even know of Dreamcon until I saw it on a live stream, as I don't live anywhere near Texas and thought "damn, where did all of these beautiful Black nerds come from?" I mean, assuming you're Black and nerdy, you're probably also introverted and shy, you probably aren't putting yourself out there very much, you're probably not interacting with the people who have the same interests as you do in the settings where they exist. I feel like it's mostly an attitude and an effort thing, rather than a deeply cultural one. Don't be an incel or a femcel and give it more than one or two shots. You don't have to be the most attractive person in the world to find a partner, nor do you have to be super muscular or fit, or crazy intelligent, or rich, or any other external factor. How do you think all these heavier, "less attractive," poor, etc. people all ended up in relationships, but you didn't? I feel like there's a lot of self loathing, insecurity, and unrealistic standards at play that are preventing people from forming connections with each other. There's also the matter of people assuming just because you have the same hobbies, that you'll automatically be compatible and trying to boil human interaction down to some predictable formula.
It's kinda nutty how many people in these comments are literally doing the exact same things mentioned in this video. Invalidating the experiences of others while validating their own, just ignoring trauma, etc, etc. This video was absolutely fantastic, I just hope some people here grow.
Why do we feel the need to perpetuate the idea that "black women like nerds" when the reality is that black women don't use "nerdiness" as a qualifier for attraction? What you like to do for fun is completely irrelevant to women. Your hobbies are about YOU and what YOU like. Their attraction is about THEM and what THEY like. Those boxes don't overlap.
I remember in the episode of the boondocks where granddad and uncle ruckus where playing chess together granddad says “if you try being black maybe you’ll like it” I’m a black nerdy woman who went through trauma with other black people as I grew older when I attended job corps I met nerdy black people who shared the same hobbies and interests as me I felt safe I use to the my trauma as a excuse to be anti black towards my own people I’m very proud and happy I went on the path of light it feels great now all I wanna do is be around other black nerds
I'm happy that you finally accepted that you're a vault dweller lol. I remember when I was in high school I was a rather quiet kid and didn't start trouble with anybody who always kept to myself. One day while I was reading a manga (berserk ) One girl thought it'd be the funniest thing in the world to throw a rock at me from a distance. It hit me in the back of the head and I started bleeding and passed out due to the shock . At the time she and the other cackling people thought it was the funniest thing in the world. If you had known me back then I would have at least warned you. I would have grabbed your hand and said there's a reason we live here in the vault. LexiiOnline : I was just trying to make friends. Me: trust me nothing here is our friend. From the unsafe water and food, to the radiation, to the ghouls raiders and bandits. Okay somebody check her pepboy to make sure it's working and debrief her at the vault. I didn't pick the fallout the fallout picked me. * Takes out binoculars* sigh now I got to go interrogate these damn scorpions because they could be fake fans. See my work is never done.
It's not that we thought y'all didn't exist... It's just that y'all where nowhere to be found. The more I searched for a black girl who the same interests as me, the lesser chance I had at actually getting a girlfriend.... Especially growing up in a predominantly black neighborhood aka da ghetto.
Do you feel some type of way in hindsight or is it water off of a ducks back? Also what do you think the percentage of these interactions were genuine curiosity or a grill session?
@@OMJunkiehonestly, it’s water off a ducks back now that I know why because I didn’t talk to them after quizzing and grilling me. If it was curiosity you can tell because then I usually end up talking about the anime’s I enjoyed and getting recommendations or giving them. We can tell the difference. When it’s grilling they don’t listen and get defensive, and they make fun of my choice of anime even if it’s something they watch
@@Weeniehutnursemost of them were genuinely curious because again as young black men its tough to find someone (especially women) with similar interests as us so we are honestly more suprised if anything but again i will acknowledge that what you're saying is also true.
For what it's worth, the guys who made Billy and Mandy had a lot of forethought in mind when they decided not to make the dude who was essentially two white kids slaves black. They say this in interviews
I wouldn't call it A LOT of forethought, considering they had the ultra powerful, heavily accented, black-coded personification of death be subservient to and get abused by a couple of white kids for several seasons. If anything it seemed to be a last minute "oh shit, that's a bad look". I'm glad they had enough sense to catch it, but still
@@Fooactabruh, thank you. I thought I was having a stroke reading that comment. Like they still gave him a Jamaican accent and practically still made him a black man 😂😂😂😂😂
The fact that they’re a lot of people saying that this video “invalided or gaslight” their experience is literally proven they didn’t actually listening to what you’re saying
Discovering and attending Youmacon at the age of 16 may have saved my poor soul from going down the path of darkness. Seeing so many different black nerds helped me to realize that I did not have to fit a mold and that nerdy black women did exist, and that ya boi was tripping.
That’s what I’m saying like now we got events like Dreamcon (RDC my goats) where it’s literally THE black nerd convention lol. Idk why ppl are forgetting that.
Lies ... we are the reason nerdyness is accepted. Y'all can thank, the nerdy millennials for teaching our kids it's OK to be nerdy, and for being proud nerds ourselves the way we Cldn't wn we were in school.
I'm black and queer, probably disabled. Man you reignited something in me. Thank you, its been a while since I could relate this hard to a video. Good work.
If you're curious about disability identity, there is a free book called "Black Disability Politics" by Sami Schalk. It might be an affirming read. I definitely loved it and you can download chapters from the professor's website.
When I heard her talk in interviews I said "She's a nerd , only nerds get The Last Airbender and Space invader references" but it's not socially acceptable in the hip-hop world for any black woman to be a proud nerd unfortunately The only successful black woman nerd I've seen in the hip-hop world is Queen Latifah
@@Chuck_EL I swear some ppl STILL don’t believe Megan is a nerd/likes anime. Despite recently music with anime themes and references, cosplaying characters, and talking about it on her insta livestreams. I mean even before she was famous with that one meme she had lmao.
I found out about your channel for the boondocks, and I subscribed. It is interesting to know a lot about black culture, although I am not African-American. greetings from Mexico
As a really nerdy black dude I’ve always attracted black women but I can’t deny the fact that my looks and energy I give plays a gigantic factor me being a nerd always came last. Another thing is I had to heal from trauma of being ostracized and move on. A big but kind of brutal observation of nerdy black dudes especially in the more manosphere space is that majority of them aren’t being checked out by other races of women either people forget how much of an anomaly interracial dating statistically is. Which is why the dudes in the video and blackcels in general are still in their same rut they’ve been in for years. Race does play a role in dating and people in general date their own kind so unfortunately you have to ask yourself why would a nerdy white girl date a nerdy black guy instead of a nerdy white dude?
I'm 35 and I never suffered the kind of trauma a lot of these dudes did. But that's because I was always raised to have a solid sense of self-esteem. I never took those rejections as an indictment on my interest or character. So I can say conclusively that that is why I never became jaded. I still don't have a girl (have in the past, just not now), but I know I'm solid enough that I'll bag a good one eventually. In the older you get the more you realize that whether you can watch anime with her or play video games with her, really don't matter as much as whether you care about and support each other in the real meaningful ways So just like what you like and focus on being the best of you
@@FencingMessiah the bullying I went through was light and the support systems I had were much heavier and stronger. You can't stop kids from being mean. But you can help kids overcome it
Why are the experiences of Black men always treated as myths or lies to be invalidated and exposed, such as the 'educated lame' or the 'Black nerd'? In contrast, when Black women share their experiences, they are accepted without question as undeniably true, and anyone who questions their lived experience is accused of participating in misogynoir? Black men, you are not doing-machines for these people. Your experiences matter, and your opinions matter. Don't let anyone tell you that you are interpreting your own experiences incorrectly.
I feel you on this one. Since I know kids that got bullied and beat for their interests. Like we're effing kids the hell we doing rolling like we're adults? Why couldn't we just be children realizing we're still learning? Yet my peers a lot of them we burning out since middle school, I hope they're good now and living the best life now. We should have treated each other better yet that's why hindsight is thing. Pain is valid it's why we learn the way we learn.
100%, but also know to not generalize the opposite gender due to your experiences. Yes, your experiences are valid but the best thing you can do for yourself is to have intospection and build your self-esteem. There's someone out here for everyone, just be you and confident. However, I do agree that black women's experiences are more validated, and justified to make hateful generalizations against men. Such as black women making claims that black men don't want them, which is absolutely false. BM mostly date within their own race, and love black women. Black women also need to do some introspection as well and not live in contempt for black men. The black community needs love more than anything right now, and it's disappointing that gender wars has permeated our views and divided us so much. We can do so much better. I wouldn't be surprised if this was some elaborate inside job by white supremacists to destroy us.
@@raindavisz 2nd Wave feminists were also CIA agents. Pretty much right after Civil Rights was over in 1969 they subverted it in the 1970s removing the black male from work he can do and breaking up the family. So you're right the ish the government has done not just to black men yet men in general circled around slapped the women they were "empowering" thus the children been suffering overall since then.
Thank you. Honestly fuck this video and all the comments that are trying to invalidate black mens' ACTUAL experiences growing up and essentially victim blaming them. Many black men went through traumatizing shit, but instead of acknowledging it, videos like this are trying to somehow re-write the narrative that it was the victims fault. Trying to tell them that their actual EXPERIENCES weren't real. You weren't there for each and every person's experience, so stop trying to speak on it. Fuck out of here with that. If we started doing the same about black women's trauma (aka, you didn't experience colorism in dating about your dark skin, it's all made up in your mind) they'd blow a gasket. Stop invalidating people's trauma.
3:07 Guilty I have been down that hole only to realize that black women, or black people in general, are like another group of people you are going to run into in your lifetime, some are going to like you some won't it's that simple. It's ok to not be everybody's cup of tea as long as your being genuine.
And since HBCUs are majority female, you look at all these nerdy clubs and guaranteed they were created and run by mainly women 😂 It just shows me these dudes whining didn’t go after higher education. Or they were so bitter they’d rather get bullied by whitey then see past the black stereotypes and try HBCUs🤦🏿♂️
@@reet7060 Just because they are nerds just like us does not automatically mean they’re gonna be attracted to us. That’s what y’all ain’t understanding. What you just did was discredit majority of our experiences by saying this ignorant bs.
as a black women who’s almost 30 years old, the problem i have with nerdy men in general is a lot of them seem to think we just started existing like 3 years ago 😂 and as a connoisseur of more feminine nerdy media and hobbies, that does get constantly invalidated by men. the disappointed look on their faces when i say i’m into madoka magica, k-on, and sailor moon over series like naruto or one piece is very telling lmao.
I'm almost 20 and i get what you mean 😂. I had a friend who was always telling me about his anime waifus and all that but the moment I mention and anime guy or so, he totally dismisses it and has no interest😂. Even when i tell some of them that I also watch romance and slice of life, they totally turn against me and make fun of me for watching romance but only pay attention whenever i talk about action anime😂.
@@blessing_ify they still act that way when they’re 30+ babe 😂. there’s good ones out there that will share your interests or listen to you be passionate about feminine media, but cut them off immediately if they try to talk down on you and your likes/hobbies. also don’t feel obligated to end up with a “nerd”. many “nerdy” men only have one definition of what a nerd is when it’s such a broad term. many of us seldom have much in common due to it. good luck!
the main problem i run into is them QUIZZING me on anime characters that I don't know about! like I don't watch Naruto, I'm not INTO Naruto, i write 50+ page fanfiction of magical girls :/
I have a couple of things to say and I’m going to ramble on a bit. 1- love your channel and I glad I found you by your Tubi video 2- I’m 15 and I dealt with feeling I wasn’t black enough. Mostly in the 8th grade due to me not listening to a lot of rap music and being called not black enough/not culture enough by some of my classmates. Though in the same vein a male classmate who was black and kinda the “weird” kid in my class. He told me and my friend that he will never date black woman due to all of us being ghetto. And looking back at these experience it’s so contradicting it’s kinda funny but sad at the same time. Despite this I’ve never been anti black. While I do believe that the black community has problems. Like homophobia, anti blackness, ableism, sexism, and etc. I never hated the black community as a whole because we aren’t the same 3- I hope that more and more generation of black kids will slowly stop this cycle of anti blackness and being bullied for being a nerd. Especially since it’s more easier now to find blerd groups that’ll aspect you 4- keep up the amazing work and I can’t wait for more Edit: thanks for the nice replies. I also wish I commented this early but it slipped my mind. I really don’t understand that mean that’s like “when your soon is a geek”. It just screams TOXIC masculinity
It almost brings a tear to my eye that you have the language and understanding at such a young age to acknowledge and understand the various systems of oppression that we have to navigate on a daily basis. I was in my early 30's when I first learned terms like anti-blackness and ableism and it's a joy that these concepts are becoming so commonly known that the youth have access to them. Being able to see the underlying framework of society and how it's designed to exploit us (and also non-Black people) won't bring you happiness. But it will hopefully lead you to understand that a lot of the ways you have been encouraged to feel about yourself are the result of tools of oppression and are not an accurate evaluation of you, your value or what you contribute to the world. I completely agree with you that Black people are not monolithic but that makes me love us even more. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and perspectives. It really made me happy to know that your generation have the insights that my generation hoped you would.
One should always love one's race, because no one else will do it for oneself. And others will make sure to remind one of that. This is especially true for us, and I sincerely hope that kid you talked about will figure it out himself (instead of learning it the hard way from not-so-friendly non-Black women). No one likes self-loathing people anyways - non-Black people withstanding. It follows that even if he wants to date out, he better learn to like his own people (if for no reason other than to increase his sense of self-worth and confidence). Yet the hatred of Black women - as a Black man - *is* a form of self-hatred; in that both Black men and women are Black, different subsets of the *same* in-group. Tl;dr : You don't get to hate your own people without hating part of yourself. There's absolutely no getting around this fundamental truth.
Im a nerd and ive single for 30 years of my life. This must be a new gen thing. Nerds were always ignored because we were considered unattractive, goofy, boring, corny, and not fun to he around with.
Im sure I’ll take some heat from this as I know this was touched on in the video to extent. As a male blerd, a lot of resentment comes from a large and rightfu perception of not fully being heard or corrective action being taken. What I mean is whenever we talk about our experiences of being undervalued, overlooked, rejected, ostracized, etc. the counter stories of black female blerds typically take precedent as now we have to unpack mysogynoir, colorism, sexism, etc. Next thing you know, we the male blerd are not even focused on anymore outside of “get over it” “it’s your fault” “you just wanted the desirable pretty popular girl anyways” etc. Flattop Chicken also had an excellent point in his video: it’s not that female blerds didn’t like male blerds. It’s just that it was primarily the conventionally attractive men who happen to be blerds they really wanted. Edit: grammar
What I find interesting about these types of videos that claim to address issues for everyone within a specific demographic is how the responsibility is always placed on the individual, especially when that person is male. If a man struggles to find a partner, the message is often that it's his fault. However, when women express the same struggles, the blame tends to shift to society or men as the cause of their difficulties. Even the advice we receive is influenced by gender.
@@ahmorgan YOU SEE IT! THATS exactly what makes this frustrating. And when you decide to not even play, you’re still wrong “men have given up because they can’t control women anymore”. No, I’ve given up because we still can’t rightfully scrutinize women for anything and therefore have no reason to change when they practice bad/harmful dating practices. Somehow, someway, it’s still a man’s fault. Smh
Yea. The truth of the matter is a black woman needs to bring up the shortcomings of black women before they really care to ask those questions. Sadly it just won't happen due to the sisterhood affect. I was really hoping that this video would actually point out equal wrongs on each side, but as I probably should have expected it only points to black men and says you were the problem. Hell even in these comments there are black women who are saying that black male needs didn't want them, and their responses are full of support, and a man said that had it been flipped it'd be invalidated by those here which he was immediately proven right.
I am a black man who is really a nerd and pretended not to be one. I was able to pull all the girls, but it can only last so long. I had a lot of surface level relationships. If you focus on love and not flesh, you will get the woman of your dreams. I am married with 2 kids, I would love if my 2 sons were nerds, less to worry about. Black man from the hood that made it signing out.
It's crazy to think at one point in my teenage, young adult phase I thought like this. Until I started dressing better, taking better care of my physical health, both of which instilled more confidence in me helped me get out that mind set. It's deadass crazy to think someone doesn't like JUST you for the hobbies or interest you like. There are usually other factors at play. Teenage me didn't wear chapstick like that, that def played a part 😂😂 can't bag with cracked lips. I just turned 28 tuesday I feel like I meet more women who like me for what I like than the contrary. Even met more women who also like the same things as I do as I got older. Like 13-year-old me really thought "If I had a girlfriend who liked Sonic as much as me, I'll be good." Not even aware of all the factors to consider when dating someone like physical and mental attraction, goals in life, chemistry, similar values etc. Thank god I got a girlfriend at 13 i swear it helped me not think like that anymore. I could care less now If my woman likes Sonic and my shawty does but not as much as me. We bond over other things anyway that hold more space in my heart. We both like video games and share each other games all the time. I used to say I wanted a gamer girl and I got one and she’s black?!? Nigga I’m winning!!! Even when I met a girl who liked Sonic at anime boston years ago I payed her no mind so yeah lmao. Too many men out here letting the world beat them down instead of building themselves up.
I think that the contradicting sides of this conversation. Could say the same things you are now if you didn't date someone at 13? If you didn't have that opportunity when you were young to have that experience as a fall back to recognize your mistakes as you got older? Childhood shapes a lot of your adult life, it's hard for a dude and girl to change from thinking negative thoughts as they get older, especially if their life experience is proving those thoughts right.
@@LOLtz1 of course I thought it was implied my experiences saved me from falling down the same path others took. Our experiences do make us up, I was skinny black dude in a school right in the hood, my grandfather was a janitor there, I was prime targeting fuel. I’m still dealing with anger issues from being bullied so much as I’m very protective of myself now. I still have resentment I’m tryna heal. I wasnt bullied cause I like anime, I was bullied cause I was a skinny black dude in a new school. Anime was just another jab they used to belittle me. Maybe they saw something in me they didn’t idk 🤷🏿♂️ you know how this shit go. But even through all that bullshit I went through for 3 years i found people I could be friends with and even a girlfriend! No swag, was being bullied, and I still pulled? Shit man I know not all of us are lucky but there’s someone for someone.
@@277Shadow I'm glad you were able to get that experience it definitely makes a difference between choosing the "light or dark side". However I think that what makes this conversation more tragic because nerds are awkward and being awkward as a kid is a lot different than being awkward as an adult. You don't have the leeway to get away with certain things/ mistakes when you're older. And without those positive experiences it's hard to move away from the pain/ trauma of the past. That's why even with the dating experience you had in your younger years, there is still some anger from the past of getting bullied. I wish that there is someone for somebody's argument that was true. And I think most nerd guys want that lucky encounter but know it's not going to happen. Getting that your first romantic encounter when you are young is a lot more different than getting as an adult.
@@LOLtz1 you’re right, most of the anger I have now is from not sticking up for myself the way I would protect myself now. So that’s me forgiving myself more than them in order to heal fully which I’m working on. I was awkward, full on nerd and always embraced it. In high school I had a blue polo shirt, with blue jeans, black and blue shoes, and a Sonic hat and belt buckle. Niggas thought I was crip till they saw the sonic hat 😂😂😂 so I wasn’t making it easier I guess but I met some of my best friends from always being my genuine self. You’re right cause if I didn’t get a girlfriend at 13 it would’ve happened eventually but could’ve made it more difficult for me who was already having insecurities and still do. My experiences don’t invalidate anyone else’s, I’m just saying and the video that there plenty of women, and especially black women who can like us just for us.
@@LOLtz1 ayo big pause 😂 but I’m not ugly right someone in the comments said I get girls cause I’m attractive and that’s when I had my shadow pic up I switched it just to see how they feel no response 😂😂 like yooooooo
I’m trying to have more empathy for black male nerds because they did have it rough from what I witnessed. However, it was those same black male nerds who bullied me in my youth because either they found me unattractive despite having similar interests or they like to take their frustrations on you. I feel most black nerds regardless of gender share similar experiences.
Dude you continue to be one of the very best on the platform. Every upload I genuinely feel how lucky I am to be hearing such a unique and distinguished voice, keep it up.
I've been a black nerd my entire life but I basically decided to not stress about dating or relationships. My mom has been stressing about me not dating and staying single, but I've told her it's just not my focus anymore in my thirties. I'm trying to emotionally heal from the neglect I've gotten from my parents and they feel like finding a relationship will help with that, but tbh it's not.
I've never seen ppl who were actively pursuing their hobbies be so thoroughly villainized just because a few of the group grew up to be assholes. People who were unfairly maligned for liking the "wrong" things are now being told it never happened or that it did happen but because you deserved it for being abnormal. To hear ppl tell it everyone was a nerd, but where I'm from in all the clubs that were nerdy I know who was there and who wasn't
The gaslighting is crazy like people got stomped on, some stalked and gang bullied off their interests. Where kids didn't want to ride the bus or even make friend due to the drama. Nobody deserved pain for being a CHILD being a CHILD trying to figure the world out. Just becuase some people wanted to act all grown when really they were the most immature in room. Since to bully to battering a peer over them being them is foul.
@@ExeErdna some of the gd bullies were secret nerds too. I got it bad for watching power rangers in elementary school but the insults were so specific to the show that the bully must've been watching it as well. Shit is comical
@@FencingMessiah it's really annoying how there are people that try to act as if this wasn't a common thing. I literally got hit in the back of the head with a rock for keeping to myself and just reading manga. The girl who did it thought it was the funniest thing in the world and everyone seemed to condone it. Imagine my surprise many years when the one that did it started talking about how much they love anime and manga. I had to have a friend wrestle a rock away from me when I heard that. He told me to let it go and I said that's what I'm trying to do if you just get out of the way. That was one of the few times of my life that I was just level 100 pissed 100 .
The issue that I've come across how about 35 minutes in is that nerd is such a wide-ranging term that it loses importance in some ways If play fighting games and like Sonic the hedgehog (see Avatar) and I want a black nerd gf, but she knows all the kpop idols and plays DND, she might as well be your regular old Real housewife swiftie. Because we have the same amount in common at that point. Even within a medium. If I play Celeste and breath of the wild and she plays cod and WoW, even if we are both video game nerds, how much intersection do our interests have, you know? So even if those dudes on the dark path got what they wanted it likely wouldn't look the way they expect
What matters is getting each other, understanding. I won't say i didn't convert my bf to anime and dnd plus whatever else. They can find a new thing together even if its not something considered nerdy, share what they like with each other, listen to each other talking about whatever it is. My bf is my really my bestie. Relationships are individualized and an ideal relationship can look different between couples.
Great video Pillboy! Very true. At the end of the day, this is all just anti blackness. Blackness is constantly under a microscope of do’s and don’ts with stereotypes constantly being reinforced, both positive and negative, an over generalization is an over generalization. Black people are vast, and so are nerds. So are people in general. We try and generalize to protect ourselves but it actually ends up blocking us from the people who are meant for us. I’m in a relationship with my girlfriend of almost 2 years, and she’s a blerd just like me. And she doesn’t like me because I’m a nerd, she likes me because she likes ME, and everything that comes with that. And the same goes for her. For my kings reading, keep going. Your person/people are out there. But please don’t shut the door on them before you even give them a chance. I love you guys.
Dang, I went to middle school in Stone Mountain and the bullying at that school was crazy. Lots of junior bloods trying to act tough. Lots of kids who'd say and so anything for attention. The worst school I've ever been to.
Almost two decades of my life has been chewed up by pushing my self-esteem down and forcing myself to change into someone I wasn't and could never be. Once I moved out of that environment and fully understood what I was missing out on, I damn near wanted to cry. Please love yourselves, Kings. We got this!
I think the actual issue is the fact that a lot of nerdy types simply didn't have either enough access to or positive results (or both) with dating/relationships, and depending on where and how you grew up and the amount of failures you endured, that "delayed start" is often hard to overcome. It's not always as simple as "find the people who like you" and "you just gotta work on yourself and be confident" if you're constantly being told that being yourself isn't valued.
True, plus how is one supposed to expect an adult with no or negative relationship experience to just get over it and be better. When all their younger years have not been positive with relationships. The people I see on the "light" side of nerdom can point to a positive relationship experience when they were young. Whole people with negative experiences can't.
Honestly, all these dating coaches constantly say just brush it off, but that is easier said than done. In real life it is not that easy to get women, maybe prostitutes, strippers, and OF girls. But women outside of that, it is not easy.
As a black woman, I would love a black man who loves Star Trek and Cosplay. I'm a millennial, so I've been going to comicbook conventions since the late 90s, and it was not cool back then.
also… and I wanna say this gently & with the best intentions. Sometimes it’s not being a nerd and having certain interests that’s holding some ppl back…that hurt you’re holding on to can manifest ways that aren’t conducive to a healthy relationship. I’ve encountered a lot of nice guy syndrome in these communities. Be honest, if you were a woman, would you feel safe with a man that displayed an underlying resentment and anger towards you because of how he was treated in the past? There’s no manic pixie dream Black girl that will wash that pain and it’s effects on you away. “Nerds” aren’t any more immune from doing the personal work anyone else is. We’re all capable of doing harm to others if we don’t heal.
Yet a lot of people don't know how to heal since too often therapist are more so used to extroverted people. With men we want problems solved since talking about it is what we've gone through our heads for years. Which circle back to the resentment when people notice the world isn't changing so why should they? People are being horrible to others are the same ones like "why aren't people checking for me" Yet being that bitter for either men or women isn't healthy, since too often we want the same things yet our pain binds us to react instead of reflecting.
Had to sub, great video…well made, and covers a lot of ground. I love that you dedicated significant time to addressing the real pain nerdy black dudes faced out here, gaslighting the brothers we need to reach is so harmful…. Keep doing ya thang 💪🏾
Pray tell, what is the difference between this comment, and the generalizing that nerdy black girls only go for traditionally attractive men/ f-boys? Especially, since this a video that seeks to move beyond gross generations...
@@IllMatic97 Steve Urkel who had Myra still wanted Laura That's how it really is with many of them That's why it's odd when I see black Incels doggin him out for it when they would do the same thing
I’m a black female and I’ve been called a nerd all my life from my own(men and women). Didn’t ever bother me? It didn’t. I would always say, “So being able to read and speak a complete statement is a bad thing? Make it make sense to me. I’m listening.”
For me as Black nerd who’s pre teen/teen years was in 90s/early 00s. Looking inward helped me get through the bullying etc. It wasn’t until I got my 1st black girlfriend my 1st year in college. (That relationship ended badly but thankful it happened) I had to come to terms with yes I got bullying by black girls & boys for liking Digimon & nerdy ish. I realized I had more then few Black girls back in school who shared my interests & some even liked me. It was I who was trying to talk to girls who didn’t share my interests rejected me & then I would make a generalize statement We all have things to unlearn anti black nonsense; have some introspection &growth is key.
A lot of the conversation is made easier by just parsing out and naming ableism as opposed to “Black nerds.” I’m Black, queer, and disabled and most of the things that keep getting reduced to “nerdy Black men” are as just ableism with a different name and a lot of these dudes who buy into patriarchal expectations of Black women are just more angry they can’t reap the same benefits of misogynoir. I do think it’s important to frame these issues as if they begin and end with childhood experiences which, like ableism isn’t just some dude who had a rough time in high school. With a lot of Black make celebrities like Donald Glover, Michael Che, Aaron Mcgruder and so on, they typically from come from middle to upper class backgrounds and build “nerddom” as their brand to obscure their misogynoir. They’re also welcomed to Hollywood spaces specifically because of their willingness to align with the status quo. Their interest in Black politics only extends as far as what affects them personally and is little more than a brand. Shows like Atlanta, The Boondocks, and Michael’s work in SNL all reinforce those patriarchal views in their works. It's why any time you bring up misogynoir, transphobia, ableism, etc in these works they hide behind their Blackness to justify it and have no shortage of Black people who align with those views insisting you just missed the point. It’s why Michael Che thought it was funny to mock Simone Biles and the sexual violence she experienced. Michael Che: variety.com/2021/tv/news/michael-che-simone-biles-instagram-1235031377/ and www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/simone-biles-says-she-was-molested-gymnastics-doctor-larry-nassar-n837806 I don’t really agree that this is childhood trauma, it’s more a lack of intersectionality and specifically them not addressing their pursuit of desirability politics. I’d suggest a number of readings by it by Black trans authors who discuss it in depth. It drives more directly at what you’re discussing. Desire/ability politics is the methodology through which the sovereignty of those deemed(conventionally) Attractive/Beautiful is determined. Put another way, the politics of Desire labels that which determines who gains and holds both social and structural power through the affairs of sensuality, often predicated on anti-Blackness, anti-fatness, (trans)misogynoir, cissexism, queer antagonism,and all other structural violence. It is intended to name the social,political, and economic capital one obtains / is given access to through the ability to be Desired. By this I mean that Desire is about much more than being desired; it is about one’s ability to always already be positioned as the very embodiment of the thing(s) that make(s) one Desire/able. - Harrison,Da’Shaun L. Belly of the Beast: The Politics ofAnti-Fatness as Anti-Blackness. From birth and in most of the very media we're nerding out over, there's a repeated communication about who is considered desirable and thus human in the way we frame narratives around Black queer, fat, disabled, dark-skinned, etc people. A lot of dudes, nerd or not, are conditioned in patriarchal understandings of Black women and it manifests in community imaginable. It's easier to just say that a some Black people just don't give a damn about anyone and under a white supremacist, patriarchal society are just self-serving. The "Black women hate Black nerdy men" BS is just a pursuit of desirability and power through patriarchy.
Right, so I think the problem here is you internalizing your 'undesirability,' and allowing yourself to be impressionable to extremist leftist ideologies as a result of your trauma. You seek to identify with new labels to have a sense of belonging, because you aren't content with yourself. A lot of these "issues" you listed, don't even involve the black community and is just outlet for you promote and excuse degeneracy while masquerading as social justice. Ideological gender issues aren't to be taken seriously and certainly don't explain/correlate to anything regarding black struggle.
As middle schooler, I was constantly bullied for still watching Ninjago and TMNT. But I decided to do something about it and start a UA-cam channel to inspire other kids like me not to feel ashamed about their interests.
One of the problems is that people seem to have forgotten what the word "nerd" means and, for some reason, they don't know how to locate a dictionary online or in a library. Nowhere in the definition of "nerd" are anime and video games mentioned. A lot of people who are not nerds are into anime and video games. The various definitions for "nerd" mention being highly intelligent, socially awkward, and into academics (especially science and technical subjects). As someone who prefers to date nerds, a lot of the self-identified male nerds are not even nerds. Whenever a Black man says that he's never met a Black female nerd, it turns out that he hasn't met a Black woman/girl who is into anime or video games. I am sure that he has come across Black women who did very well in school and were into science or some other academic field of study.
You know what the best way is to get over a set or a run of bad experiences, though? Better experiences. The best way to get over rejection is experiencing acceptance.
This video hit so hard GAHLEE! I’ve been a black nerd since I was a youngling; and through childhood, yeah I was made fun of, but I didn’t allow that to fully control what I liked, and that took years of learning about myself alongside unlearning sht too. One thing that aided me to actually becoming friends w nerdy black women was just talking to them. To not doubt or invalidate their experiences either. Black nerdy women experience the same thing, just at different capacity. We can talk and learn from each other; which harkens back to your point with being a black nerd in today’s climate. We’ve gotta listen to each-other much more actively and I think that if more brothers stopped questioning their experiences and talked to them as people, not trauma dumps, we as a community could grow so much more collectively.
51:12 thank you! Nobody is obligated to be with you just because you're a nerd but that goes for anybody. And I just want to say based on the comment section I see some of these men didn't look at the video
You guys really want to destroy our community. Disrespecting the experience of ostracized men is what is pushing these ninja over to the side of the enemy, but at least you got your props for being one of the good ones....
@johncalhoun916 yep I don't think these ppl understand how this gaslighting nonsense affects mfs' mentalities. Making us feel like we crazy for what we experienced lmaoo
@@demetriuseanno one is saying yall experience is not valid and was harmful. However isolating yourself and ruminating in trauma WILL prevent you from finding someone you like.
@@colorgirl5968 that's cool but women still don't like that nerd stuff. If it was true. These young men and boys wouldn't be saying the same thing dudes in the 90s and 00s were saying. The Black community would be also mostly blerds.......but a huge chunk is rather ratchet or a certain performative American Blackness that doesn't overlap with nerd/geek culture. It's just wild folks are still gaslighting men on their experience instead of peeping the overall issue with Black culture trying to alienate blerds. Certain people get a pass because they are either good looking or rich. But outside of that folks don't get passes.
I enjoy this. I am a nerdy black woman who grew up always being told that i was strange, weird, or “acted white” because simply i spoke differently and my interest were in Amine or Star Wars. When I was a teenager, I have seen guys in my age group tried to strive for girls who didn’t have the same interest or attitude. It was strange to watch the same guys strive to talk down at those girls for rejecting them and even to this day. There were nerdy girls who wanted to be with the nerdy guys. Only speaking for myself, I only dated and continue to date nerdy men. I am currently dating a hardcore Amine gamer black man😂
I find it so interesting that whenever people say this, black men complain they're experiences are being invalided but what's even more interesting is that whenever nerdy black women like myself bring up the fact that nerdy black men practically ignored us because the black girls that they were typically attracted to were not their female counterparts and were usually the pretty girls or the cheerleaders. They straight up deny this and invalidate our experiences lol. Simply because they know that if this were to be brung up, that the girls that they liked were literally the female equivalent to the jocks, popular boys and "thugs". They would be looked at as just as superficial as the girls that they are complaining about. But honestly those girls weren't even really superficial as they were just going for guys in their league, something that the black nerdy guys (For the most part) weren't doing. Pretty much the Steve Urckle situation. They also never bring up the fact that they would quiz us on our "Nerdy" interest and then make fun of us and be heavily misogynistic towards us due to the things or genres we were interested in being too "girly" or "feminine". Not to mention poor hygiene, lack of social skills, anti black attitudes, etc. Now I didn't mean to go on a rant there but at this point I'm really sick and tied of this narrative, and black women wether they're nerdy or not being made to feel bad for supposedly never giving the nerdy guy a chance knowing damn well that these same nerdy guys who are probably complaining on twitter about a black girl calling them "corny" in middle school didn't even look my way and were over there calling me a "poser" for the exact same reason 😂
Yeah, it's wild how that works, also wanted a nerdy gamer girlfriend but went after women who were not interested in my hobbies in high school 😂😂😂😂 cause there's a particular woman who now in adulthood I wish I could've been better friends and nicer to them. Not only she looks great our personalities mashed very well back then too. You live and learn; I got a girlfriend now and well she's all I could ask for. Thick, smart, black, likes video games and cartoons and deep social discussions like this, cooking, just a goofball like me I'm winning. Idk why niggas wanna quiz a shawty like that proves she's worthy to be his girlfriend or some shit. Like what if she just got into whatever that guy has been clearly obsessing over since birth she not gonna know everything. Should make it better cause you can share and learn with them but some dudes be weird.
Acknowledging your experiences would require a lot of these dudes to acknowledge that our trauma is shared and not exclusive to Black men, and would debunk the monolithic narrative a lot of them have of Black Women.
1. There were never/barley any black nerdy women around and if there were they didn't make known and aint say anything to us. So you cant blame us for that. 2. There is no such thing as being out of someone's league. They are just not into them. That is it. If being a nerd means that you're beneath someone for them to actually give you a shot then thats as shallow and superficial as it gets right? 3. As for those "quizes", it is extremely hard for a young black nerd male to find someone (especially black women) with the exact same interests as us. When we are "quizing" you we are genuinely curious because it is a shock to us. As for making fun of what type of animes you watch, are we not allowed to joke around? 4. You actually bought into the stereotype of nerdy black men having poor hygiene? Many of us cant actually control the fact that we have lack of social skills and what are the anti black attitudes that we displayed? You really didn't do anything with this comment. Infact not only did you invalidate our experiences but you also tried to rewrite history and gaslight us by saying we were the problem and then you belittled us by saying we were "not in the leauge" of the women you want to think all of us were after.
@@studiopillboymajority vs minority. Also every thing she said in this comment wasnt even accurate and it doesn't debunk anything so in this case they are indeed a monolith
I'm a black woman that's a nerd. But I think my outer appearance attracts a guy but when they see my nerdy side they don't like it. And I love nerdy guys.😭😭😭
I’m glad to see so many people had a better experience than me. The black girls I grew up around were definitely more interested in the swag guys. I don’t have any animosity towards any black women. I ended up married with my own son anyways.
Lol at “ the swag guys” a nerd that have swag can’t he ? So was it that there was a real lack of nerdy girls and girls there couldn’t relate as much as they could to the swag guys than you ? ( people are naturally drawn to those who are more than less the male and female versions of themselves when it comes to personality interests and values ) or is it just because the swag guys had more confidence and better social skills? And The main thing about guys who score with a lot of women isn’t looks, charm or money,all that helps obviously but the main thing is they go after it more than most guys without letting the fear of rejection stop them. It’s a numbers game. A guy having slept with a lot of women isn’t really impressive because the quality of women differs and the level of pursuit and desire a man has to sleep with a lot of women differs.
Certified black nerd. Age 40. Zero swag. Zero game. From a city that's only 10% black. 100% of my long term relationships, 90% of my short term relationships have been with BLACK WOMEN. Currently married, BLACK WIFE. None of these women were nerds, and ranged from the hood and middle class backgrounds. Hell, probably would have gotten married years earlier if I had met a black woman nerd. At the end of the day black men and women are made for each other. EDITED To Add: Did some girls call me corny or bully me in school? Yes. But ran into several of those same girls in my twenties, we spoke like old friends. Hell even one of them gave me her number and we ended up hooking up (completely took me by surprise lol).
got tis recommended 2 months after- as a black girl, its cool to see smaller channels like you discussing divisive topics in such an elaborate way. your video style is cool too? I hope you will grow soon.
Thank you so much. I feel the need to share my story as a black girl aswell: I am Zillennial (half gen z half millenial) 2nd gen migrant from europe & grew up in an environment where being black and a fanatic of anime, cartoons, comics and gaming wasnt a big deal among young black ppl, not very rare for guys in the black community. Maybe I can not classify myself a nerd/geek because I enjoyed the anime/gamingscene interest without making my whole life about it even though I didnt hide it either. But I was definitely a visible alt black girl (emo clothing and hairstyle and the liking of hard rock and kpop and jpop before it was popular) and THAT was the biggest no-no as a black girl where I was from😂 I literally got adviced to hide that part of me asap growing up a teen cause i might get bullied at some point. So I toned it down and only shared my deepest interest with select ppl who happen to be non black in my school. That was the start of me feeling uncomfortable around most black ppl in general cause I internalized that being myself would be a crime around my own people but never around non black people. On top of that I experienced colorism for being dark skin from black ppl, and whenever I did have a crush on a black guy who had nerd/geek/alt interests (im talking average looking, I internalised super attractive black guys wouldnt like me) they ALWAYS liked non black girls or lighter skin girls. This made me think bm in general jus cant like me for either being ds or too "different". Then I became an adult. Travelled a bit and started meeting new people in new places and I learned that my experiences really dont neccessarily defy what a complete stranger who looks a certain way might think of me. Its safe to say that I met plenty of bm that changed my mind, and only because I decided to give the brighter perspective of life a chance. I can sit here and be mad at bm and bw who made me feel a certain way in the past or envy the younger Gen Z for not having to deal with some of the issues I dealt with as a alt black girl and hopping on trends I would get in trouble for. But looking forward has brought me so much blessings and peace in completely being myself and im excited for this trend of black people being openly nerd/ geek/ alt.. i mean what a time right? I love it❤
Rock was created by black People, African Americans to be exact and K-POP is just mimicking western pop culture, mostly Hip-Hop and R&B which again is Black, most precisely African American culture, so I’m confused on what you’re referring to about being ALT? I think what was weird is you liking Black culture on non-Black people more than on Black People who invented it
@@Karsielatee She's saying that she considers herself alt because although Black Americans originated those music genres, they've been warped and repacked and black people are no longer the main demographic for it, so if there is a black person that takes interest, they're "othered" in a way. So she's correct. Why do you feel as though she only likes those things if non-black people are involved with it? She said nothing of the sort.
@JiminsLeftElbow You're welcome babe! It won't though, he wants to be strong and wrong 🤣. These dudes will gaslight you and make you feel crazy so I wanted to reaffirm that you're making sense
I had a daughter with a Black woman who was and still is a nerd. We both had our share of issues and had healing to do. We're no longer a couple but good friends. I was a late bloomer and dated interracially similar to what the young brother said i didn't know or rather was unaware of black women who enjoyed what i enjoyed. Date and love without any hate or bitterness toward your culture. I hope we embrace Mental health healing and a Spiritual practice to free ourselves from anything that causes us to hate ourselves or others within culture. I appreciate the content. This was much needed.
I watched 38mins of this video and I gotta say, I don't see how what's said in the video proves the title. To me, it really just seems like a cordial and very elaborate way of saying "Everybody hurt. Stop being bitter and deal with it". Okay. Doesn't really change the perception that: 1) The % of Black women that even tolerate nerdiness is a minority (even if its 25, 33, even 40% that's still a minority), let alone actually LIKES nerdiness 2) The Black women that don't like nerdiness come down harshly on the Black men that are into it, with a high enough propensity for it to be "a thing" 3) Even for the nerdy Black women, and lot of them will go after the "normal" Black men anyway because there's that "cool luster" to them that just most women desire. And men generally are less fickle about dealbreakers in relationships than women, so the normal Black dude will still accept the nerdy Black woman, if he's attracted to her. Thus, leaving nerdy Black men festering in isolation cuz they ain't wanted by nobody (realistically just a lot, lot less than the normies) This video isn't doing anything to change or alter that perception (note: I keep calling it "perception" because I'm not about to claim that this is the actual reality if we were to get into statistics; but that perception is still very important, and the reason why videos like this exist in the first place)
To be honest I’ve been down that “path of darkness” discussed in the video. Growing up in the deep south and going to a white school, I never got the chance to think anything positive about myself or my interests for a long time. The few friends i had excluding one, were all pretty racist. When I see nerds who have fallen to the glover effect, i still see echos of myself within it. It hurts to see that i was so brazenly shut off for so long to think that. I was just a kid, yet i refused to take care of my health, i didn’t eat enough food on purpose, I didn’t shower or take care of my hair. I actually didn’t think anyone on earth could ever love me for a big portion of my life. There is something so important about learning who you are and accepting it.
so sad, im so glad i went to a black suburban school. I didnt realize how great my upbringing was until i hear other stories. the black geeks were a large segment so we all just hung out together. My parents didnt earn a lot but they spent everything they had to get us into a good black neighbourhood most of the black people i went to school with parents were lawyers or doctors, the only time i felt left out was not having as much money as them or depending on scholarships for college when their parents paid for them. Im forever grateful for my parents putting me into that environment seeing successful black people opened up my eyes we only moved because my brother was struggling in a mainly white school, i think if we didnt move he would have been a self hating antiblack incel i was disturbed by what i read in his diaries, he is a different person now i hope parents think hard before they dumb their kids into these schools
To those reading this and still hung up on it: You’re gonna carry that weight King. Was bullied relentlessly as a child for expressing my nerdiness and operating outside of “how a Black Man is supposed to act”. Went through hell and those hellish experiences will ALWAYS be valid. That being said, the Black Girls / Women in my childhood are not all, or even majority of Black Women - and I’m not going to generalize the Black Women of my future based on the Black Women of my past.
I know it’s hard, but we gotta keep working towards healing from that past, and embracing the love we’re getting now.
“Blacks need to forgive & forget racism. Time to move on.”
@@donjohnson2758 “Blacks”??? I see who you are.
@@studiopillboynot like us.
@@studiopillboyI don't know why he gotta be like that, he was great in Miami Vice
@@studiopillboy I wish Outsiders media would never be Main stream
i've been a black girl who is a nerd/geek u name it my WHOLE life, and almost everytime i meet other black male nerds, they spend more time complaining to me that no girls like anime or gaming, than actually talking to me 😭, so it's so tiring to hear them act like the black nerdy girls didn't want them when at the end of the day THEY didn't want us
Same. Dudes treat me like a unicorn and question and criticize everything. “What’s ur favorite game/song/anime?” And then telling you that you don’t like that stuff fr or that’s it’s not that good. 😒
In my experience, they are either sexist or generally nice. I prefer to stay platonic and I have been asked out before, what makes or breaks these friendships is if they feel entitled to my affection.
im enby (but am afab and was socialized as a girl growing up so ID as a black woman, politically speaking) and I too have been one my whole life. i agree that the a lot of the blerd men project their insecurities onto us. not to mention that a lot of them get down the incel/red-pill/far right pipeline that really puts a bad taste in my mouth when i encounter them but that's a whooooole another beast altogether.
@@thecomputerartist8517 i was an out loud nerd since i was in elementary school tbh, and i know plenty of women of all ethnicities who were like that soo, i never get it when men say that women only liked it once it was popular or trending... pay attention there are so many women who have been geeks loud and proud for years. Like, hate to break it to you, but this whole comment just sounds misogynistic
@@thecomputerartist8517I mean considering the fact that there are hundreds if not women/black women in these comments who talk about being open about their interest in nerdy/geeky things and still had trouble clocking with nerdy men says a different story.
I'm a 37-year-old man I've been black and a nerd all my life and it has never harmed me in trying to talk to black women if anything it has only aided me because it gave me a uniqueness through my interest and perspective of life
These men don’t want black women. This is the excuse used predominantly by black men that date out their race. Which is fine just don’t lie. Or they are chasing women they KNOW aren’t on the same page. However, I think the 1st point I made is the majority.
“Racism didn’t happen to me so it don’t exist”
I dont think the issue is talking to black women. It finding one that you can chill with.
@@dadsfreetimeclassicgaming1220🤷🏾♀️ it’s like that for everybody
Factssss
I mean, I did get shit from black women for being a black nerd, but I also got fine black women who liked me still, so I think it is just a personality compatibility thing.
Exactly. The types of girls who do that aren't worth dating anyway no matter what race
There’s also black women who love anime soooo…
@JayMor-is3nh Not anymore lol, but back in the day it did. They were considered nerds.
This is the most reasonable conclusion
So did blk girls. Blk men act like they're the only ones who are nerds or were bullied.
I'm a Black, nerdy guy and I've known plenty of Black, nerdy women. Heck, my cousin is a Black, nerdy woman. There was a time where I was considered an Oreo by my peers due to my nerdy interests. Nowadays, I don't really care about what people think of me.
I’m glad you took the Path of Light
But would they dare call black rappers or entertainers "oreos" for moving out the "hood", playing chess, getting a degree or accentuatie and pronounce words correctly and say "big" words in interviews, etc?
@@studiopillboy I am a 90s teenager who was a black skater boy
Me and my black and white nerds friends game was Mortal Kombat 1-3 and comics
I definitely can relate
@@vincentmartin3337 I will never get how our community hates being looked down on by white people for being “ghetto” but when we try to break those stereotypes we get called whitewashed. maybe we just don’t want to perpetuate the stereotypes that have surrounded us for years??
@halcyon.x it's insane isn't it? Like FD Signafire quit his white collar job, because he was afraid of being called an "oreo" 😂.
“Our pain is horrible and our pain is valid, but our pain is not exclusive” 💯
Love this.
@@PureHumanHacks But it needs to be treated that way so that our struggles (nerd in general) are worked on. Empathy is a limited resource.
People need to stop disrespecting each other. I've learned so much from the people who tapped into other sources of knowledge. The nerds knew about ish that became cool way earlier than everyone else. Fact!
I wish I met more nerdy black men.
I grew up in a predominately white neighborhood and state. I unfortunately, experienced a lot of anti-blackness and micro-aggressions amongst my peers. A white girl in my class in the 6th grade once told me I couldn't cosplay as Hinata from Naruto because I wasn't white. I had no community to connect too and it was difficult to establish friendships because my peers "didn't get me" or I didn't fit in. I developed a really low self-esteem and I at some point. felt ashamed of my blackness. But once I moved away as an adult to more culturally diverse state, I realized that I had nothing to be ashamed of and that there was nothing wrong me, it was quite literally my environment that was the problem. I'm glad I left my hometown lol
I'm glad you did too, love. It's always the environment. 7 billion people on the planet, we aren't all idiots. Just find your tribes.
I resonate with the Hinata thing. Ive been an artist since elementary and even then it was depreciating to not be seen as the normal to other cultures. Anime especially 😭
Jokes on her, Hinata isn’t white either lololol
ME TOO! That’s I can’t really relate to this as a nerdy black girl bcs I’ve grown up in a very predominantly white area. Like I’ve JUST started gaining black friends that like anime in this past year since I moved lol. I lived in the country too so I was literally in the trenches, plus I was really quiet/shy and awkward throughout elementary-highschool. 💀
@@strudelhexactly, I’ve had white ppl tell me that regardless of how I look they don’t see me as a black person💀 I’m always an “Oreo” to ppl
I remember in high school I was called white by white people.
Are you white?
SAME HERE!!
This comment spiked my pulse
Dealt w this at work too. People like that are ignorant as hell and expect us to act like walking stereotypes. Best to ignore it and love thyself
@@Noisemadd it makes me so angry because who TF are you to dictate my quality of blackness whitboy? Not mention it shows they just put black people in a box.
My now wife took me to watch her play DDR on our second date. She was the only black girl who was president of the Japanese club in high school (LOL) and DJs exclusive house and trance music. The girl was wearing suspenders when I met her 😂😂. She is my true soulmate and it’s the happiest I’ve ever been. We’re going to Tokyo this year for our delayed honeymoon and we can’t wait to geek out together. Black nerdy women also love black nerdy women and it’s a beautiful combination. So thank you for acknowledging something that has been an inherent truth for us :)
This is so beautiful to read. I hope y'all have an amazing time in Japan!
That's so sweet. I hope yall enjoy yourselves
My dream 😭😭- As a bi masc female geek, all I want is someone with a decent character & similar interests. Bless y'all's marriage.
Yall have fun !!
That’s so cute. I love you two.
There is also a conversation to be had about black parents and the adultification of black boys contributing to the self loathing that many black nerdy boys feel growing up. The idea that having an interest in comics and anime is childish as opposed to something that stimulates the imagination plays a big part in this. All romantic interactions are tied to parental/domestic development and when parents invalidate the interests and passions of their children that is also a form of bullying.
Very true
A lot of my hobbies are considered childish by my family and I'm a woman, but I say I like it and keep doing it. I've always been strong in my sense of self though and it caused me to have almost no friends as a kid. My male cousins are also nerdy but more sheltered.
@@squirrel670whats the point in embracing your identity if it just means you’ll be alone. but its like when i let go of my nerdy hobbies i made more friends, yet i somehow feel empty. its like there’s no winning no matter what. im kinda rambling but i just dont understand the point to anything.
@@ZeroCloudsZeroSkies The point is to be yourself and that it gives you peace to have friends that you know are with you for who you are. You can relax with them. I personally see which people I can be comfortable with and adjust to person and increase with closeness. If it doesn't vibe then that's okay.
I never had a lot of friends, but the friends I do have I can actually be real friends with then. You can even make friends with your hobbies, online friends are just as valid and they got me through elementary and middle school. We flew out to meet one of my bf's friends from gaming for the first time, and he let us stay at his place for free and borrow his car. There's always people you can get along with and you don't need many to be happy.
What kind of hobbies do you have that has no one interested? Personally commenting in the comment sections is one of my hobbies. People may not understand it but they know it makes me happy and that can be enough for them to show they care to acknowledge what my hobbies bring to my life or mean to me.
If you're interested, would you like to see if we can be friends or at least I can listen to you? I can give you my discord and I'll be busy since work is coming up but let me know if you'd like my ID.
I'm really glad you said this because this is the root of Donald Glover's misogynoir. He grew up as a Jehovah Witness( which is a cult) and has talked about his mother in stand up. It's very clear he resents his mother and that relationship has distorted the way he sees Black women. I'm a OG Donald Glover fan, I'm talking Derrick Comedy days.Yes, I find the way he sees Black woman as problematic but I never took it personal because it's not my burden to carry, it's his.
I do agree with this. Things have changed for the better. I dont think this is much of an issue anymore, but when I was in middle/school high school, it really was rough for black nerds ESPECIALLY in the hood
I understand it's extremely upsetting to some of these people as well when you see the same people who mocked you, tweeting/posting about anime.
There's been a huge culture shift, and black nerds are much more open to each other now.
Exactly. People are forgetting how it was and telling those who went through it that it never happened just because a few nerds they met later on in life are assholes
@FencingMessiah it's true, it is toxic to blame current black people/ women who did nothing wrong in terms of hating nerds. Gatekeeping sucks. But I feel like Michael B Jordan demonstrates this pretty well, when he confronted that girl who bullied him and was trying to be nice to him. There were women and men that hated black nerds, and actively made our lives harder. We don't need to white wash that.
@@hermanmusimbi4337 yea, but I feel that's because mbj ended up so far above the game. Most nerdy men are not in his position. Like if your life is better than 99% of people and you're still tite about middle school you have a problem and should probably seek therapy. For a lotta black nerds they were shitted on in school and now they are being shitted on for completely different reasons and being told it was their fault for being shitted on something that would not be tolerated for any other bullying situations
@@FencingMessiahDisagree with your MBJ stuff, but the rest is gold. They done started gaslighting us 😂
@@FencingMessiahit's his trauma he cam be as tight about it as he wants tbh.
Just because you watch anime doesn’t mean you’re a nerd. 😂😂😂😂😂
It kind of does. Like Animanga is a niche interest and lots of animanga enjoyers like it a bunch.
I believe the perception of nerdiness is relative, it depends on your age, upbringing and your own level of immersion in the nerd/geek community.
@@scantilysad could you elaborate on the age part?
@@SillyMcGriddle Anime and manga are not niche anymore
You're not a nerd, you're just a lame.
As a black nerd, the main women who showed me love were black women. IDK why young black men dichotomize themselves as "thug" or "nerd" when there's so many more social facets and groups to fall into. There are black women who didn't like me growing up but there were ones that did. Growing up in a primarily non black environment, there were also just way more nonblack women (esp nerds) who didn't want me either. I've been with less "nerdy" girls in my life than "normal" girls, and looking the way I did back then didn't help either.
Yea idk why ppl act like there's only 2 kind of black people
@@skinnytimmy1 I can tell people with this type of thinking are really young, like teens and young adults because it’s such a “girls only want the jocks and not a nerdy guys like me” mindset. Like why are you limiting yourself/other people to one category or the other??
@@strudelhsis these things still happen way into adulthood. I remember my homegirl said watching people in groups is like high school all over again. Folks wanna be wit the popular. I know you see it on Social media
Facts I rather be myself then some fake tuff dude 😂😂
Because you people try to be something you aren’t.
liking a thug is a death sentence to get caught up in whatever godfather nonsense they got going on. as a black woman i much rather prefer some dude who will stay indoors with me to watch the new bleach arc
Nothing with that I'm looking for the same thing lol. I'm a home body myself.
Glad to see that 1 out of every 500,000 black women appreciate a man with his head on straight
Why can't I do boffem?
@@janaekelis this is relieving to read my queen. To add to your point, is it crazy to say that bw disproportionately reward the destructive men of our community more than the productive men? Genuinely asking because people are seeming to get offended when folks state the obvious.
To add onto this I feel as though black women are socialized to seek out a stereotype. A pinnacle of toxic black masculinity and that ends up coming back to hurt them. Patriarchal men are terrible no matter what culture they come from
I don't leave comments on youtube. EVER. But this subject is close to my heart. And I waited til I finished the video before leaving a comment because I wanted to make sure I wasn't just reacting to the title.
Off top, thank you for making this video Pillboy. It's a refreshing deconstruction of a tired narrative. Your breakdowns were strong and I'm in complete agreement across the board.
Context: I turn 40 this year and am the Cis-het son of a white mom from the US and a Black dad from Guatemala. I was born in the US and raised on the West Coast, East Coast, South and Midwest. My parents split up when I was an infant and I was raised by my mom predominately in spaces where I was the only Black person and so I grew up with a social/cultural disconnect from Blackness in it's broadest sense as well as the culture of my specific tribe (Garinagu).
The core of this video(as I perceive it) was actually about how the trauma as a result of stigmatization/othering due to various systems of oppression including anti-Blackness, misogyny/misogynoir, etc leads to us policing Blackness (as well as gender roles) in harmful ways during our formative years that negatively impact us in multitude of ways including socially and romantically. I completely agree.
When we tell ourselves not to act in ways that non-Blacks wouldn't approve of that's respectability politics. But when we also punish ourselves for not performing the most commonly accepted forms of Blackness; it's the same thing. If you are weird like I was/am weird then it's really disorienting.
Anti-Blackness that I absorbed from both the media and being raised away from other Black people created shame within myself and messed up my relationship with Black people as a whole and Black women in particular for the first 20 years of my life.
And during the phase in my life where I began dating, it was white women because that's what I knew, who I was socialized to engage with and encouraged to be attracted to both culturally and aesthetically. I also leaned into that "Black women don't want me cause I'm a nerd/weird/whatever". But I didn't yet examine how wild, limited, inaccurate and harmful my views of Black women and Black people as a whole were.
Thankfully (Black) people who cared about me intervened and helped me unpack, decolonize and just generally step back and examine all that madness.
By my mid 20's my dating and social life were much more ethnically/racially diverse and by my late 20's I was mostly in relationships with Black women. American Black, African, Caribbean, Afro-Latin. All of it. That continues to this day.
At no point was my deep passion for anime/cartoons, comics, sci-fi/fantasy novels, movies, RPG's or any of that stuff an obstacle towards finding companionship of any color once I let go of those deep-seated biases. The fact that I'm equally nerdy about cooking, travel, hygiene, dancing, music and clothes didn't hurt either.
And beyond aaaaaaaaaaaalllllllll of that: At a certain point I realized that my friends/companion doesn't have to appreciate all the things I love. They just have to appreciate me. I've had partners who never expressed interest in anime so I don't watch that with them. Others don't care about music so I don't play my original compositions, remixes or DJ sets for them. Not forcing myself into having a 2-dimensional personality defined by a handful of things I really like let me meet people where they are at instead of forcing them to either celebrate that niche or be rejected by me.
I hope people are able to absorb all the goodness from this video and get on some of that internal healing that society doesn't want us to have. I support universal Black love and I feel like this creator does as well.
Do you still make any music stuff?
@@MeMarcusTheCreator Not often these days. My focus is more on cultural event production here in LA.
This deserves more likes✨✨
I’ve been a short black nerd since birth and I’ve had NO problems gettin with black women over the years cause I don’t use misogynoir as a tool for projection and internalized self hatred
We need the rest of these brothers to be on the same page
Just because you didn’t have that experience doesn’t mean other didn’t. It’s not “misogynior” to really call out shit like this if it’s true, especially when it has other implications as well.
Dub, I find that inspiring.
Maybe if I get less shy I could be like you.
@@ryanbrown9833 I never said you didn’t. In fact the video explicitly explains that your experiences growing up is valid. What’s not valid however is to make a harmful generalization based on said experiences.
@@exaggeratedswaggerofablackteen it’s something you gotta constantly work on as I have done myself but you can get to that point
thank you for this!! as a nerdy black girl, moving to the south changed my life. the black men down there are nerdy and fine... and love black women. it was amazing
You ever notice some so called "ghetto hoochies" have secret crushes on "nerds" or "geeks"?
girl you better than me, I left after they refused to treat me like a human. I'll still pray you find you the perfect boo, maybe you just build different 😂❤
Thats the kicker right there you can only be nerdy if you’re also attractive😭
@@Birdlegs14well I’m pretty sure most people want to date someone who is attractive to them as well as their personality
@@Krystalized_Python let me guess, the white guys treat you like a human 😂
Things were bad back then, things are better now both in Africa and America. I remember back when I was in Africa while in Primary school being a nerd was basically a death sentence cause it meant everyone got the green card to treat you like crap.
Then fast forward some years later in High School, being a black nerd was now normalized. The world is ever changing.
May I ask where you lived in Africa ?
@@exaggeratedswaggerofablackteen Zimbabwe once known as Dzimba Dzemabwe.
I had the exact same experience but I grew up in Puerto Rico. It’s still insane how accepting and chill the culture over there has become for more niche cultures and nerds.
@@kerosan138 It's a positive change but now my nephew looks at me like I'm insane when I try to explain how things used to be.
@@zcnaipowered7407 Right?? Lmao it’s so funny, cuz we know how things used to be. But nah, I’m just really happy how things turned out. Now our youngins don’t have to worry about that type of stuff
As someone who's been a "black nerd" my entire life and literally grew up surrounded by "hood" dudes and the like, I'll say this. No one has to like you. So many other "nerds" I knew in highschool barely had a personality. Talking about your favorite video games and anime all the time is not a personality. And many of the "nerdy" guys I knew in highschool were so uncomfortable around girls that some of them would literally be hostile towards them. I remember one of my best friends at the time was a super "nerdy" white guy and his girlfriend was so hot it blew my mind lol - but he was always himself no matter who was around, and he had a personality outside of anime and video games. I personally didn't know any "nerdy" blk girls in highschool, but many blk girls gave me attention, affection, etc, and would even tell me that they liked how smart I was. This myth that black girls/women are somehow drawn to stupidity is literally a white supremist trope, and a lot of these so called "black nerds" complaining are closeted white supremists, which is probably the conversation we should actually be having. Anyway, with that said, no one has to like you. Don't nobody owe you their time, attention or affection, except your parents. People need to grow up, check their own bias assumptions, and move on with their lives.
Say it one more time cause You’re preaching! But I agree with everything you said and we really need to touch on Black Nerd Closeted White supremacy, because i suffered from that in my teens and thank God I had a teacher of black history to show me there was way more to us than what I and others thought. So that would be a topic to really hit on.
Calling it a "white supremacist trope" kinda makes everything you're saying sound ignorant. You're ignoring people's lived experiences, assuming they had no personality, and blaming them for 'being weird' or quiet around women, completely invalidating any experiences they may have had that may lead to them being that way.
@@toasterowens8916 Okay.
@@toasterowens8916 so the black nerds that think that black women are somehow inherently attracted to less intelligent men experienced this? How many girls/women did they experience this with before centering part of their lives around a racist trope? All of them? It honestly sounds like a projection from immature young men that refuse to take responsibility for their own lives. Black women don't owe you anything. Grow up.
I like this take. Liking anime is not a personality.
Ive been a nerdy black girl, and chose the path of the light. But reflecting on it, i tried to impress nerdy black men so much i amped up the misogyny internally. I stayed away from "girly" nerdy genres. I stayed away from non sport or shonen anime, played games like stardew in secret, picked male characters in games (except Samus). I felt my black card was taken away, my fem card and my nerd card if i didnt constantly prove myself to male nerds.
I was craving approval, and caused damage to girly nerds. We aren't a monolith, thats a good thing
Understood, Im an older black man who is a nerd. I was bullied picked on from elementary to sopmore in highschool during my childhood, i love the intricacies of music, science, and spirituality and gaming . I started to to lose weight, belive in my myself at 18. Since then, I've been approached or women many were black women who were needs from the hood that genuinely loved and respected me for me. We have to stop saying noone likes black nerds in general. We are striving, succeeding ans winning now. We just need to reap our benefits. Also use more discernment to who truly reapects, and embraces us as nerds on any aspect.
@kinchcherry5227 I take it for granted how hard it was to find "your tribe" before the Internet. There weren't many nerds were I grew up, now as an adult I can find people with my niches who are also willing to embrace me. I wish my younger self knew that, cause being in a nerd island can be toxic
You’re not the issue or your nerdiness! The problem lies with any human being saying they love so&so nerds untruthfully. Whether it be black or white there’s folks saying that when really they mean that they like relatively attractive people that don’t look like they’re into nerdy things. It’s not fair to either side but is raw truth. I prefer to give most people a chance regardless of self titled nerd or jock. (Flattop Chicken) has a great video breaking it down
I’m a black nerd who comes from an entire family of black nerds. My mom put me on to anime when I was 3 and my dad put us on to video games when I was 4. Haven’t looked back since. Growing up many black people didn’t like me not just black guys I found attractive. I became immersed into black culture and hood culture. I realized i needed to be in the spaces around other black nerds like myself. It’s sub culture and I was so happy to be apart of the crowd, other black nerd families and events.
Anyone who says that black women don’t date black nerds is purposefully ignorant bc black nerd women exist and they just admitted that they aren’t in the sub culture as much as they think they are bc they aren’t in those black nerd spaces. They act like only black men can be nerds and that’s not true either. I’m saying this as a nerdy black woman who is dating a nerdy black guy. We go out, we play video games, we watch anime, we have discussion on quantum mechanics and other science topics
i am a black afab. i am currently in therapy and just genuinely start working on purging the darkness. I dont want to be angry. i dont want to hurt the people i care about because i never really delt with my own trauma from being bullied growing up.
this video is very validating. thank you,👑 king👑 !
Well done. I began my mental health healing and shadow work years ago as a middle aged man. Forgiveness and acceptance changes your entire mindset. Healing helps release all the bitterness, hate for self or others. Keep up the good work.
I'm glad I got out of the "There's no black nerds" mentality cause it was genuinely hindering my love life. Just go with the flow, you'll find your one gango. Love comes to you as they say
Im so glad i found this! Resonates with my personal experience in so many ways. I was always bullied or rejected for being a nerd. Im also autistic so that didn't help me at all, but when i started embracing my uniqueness, things started falling into place 😊
For every black nerd guy complaining about not being able to be seen by their female counterpart, there is a black nerd girl who has that same story, if she wasn't a 'dime' or had other desirable features, she was overlooked as well. It does more harm than good to try to play who has it worse, we all just need to be empathetic to each other's experiences and stop holding new potential partners to standards that didn't deserve. Many people do stop dating their own race based on a few experiences they had and that's very silly.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Difference is, no matter how bad a woman looks, someone will want her. Now that I think of it, that seems to be a fault of the man, actually.
Physical attributes are important for Blerds…. These are men who watch petite Asian/African/white female characters…. 🤷🏾♂️ I’m honestly not sure what some of you expect. You also have the option to WORK on increasing your physical attractiveness all while being a Blerd. Go to the gym, honey masks/facial creams, Self care etc. Its definitely not the END all be ALL. I watch anime in the gym 🤷🏾♂️
@@FalseProphetFallacythis is also true. She still has a BETTER chance than any male Blerd in her predicament. She probably needs to try to date blerds on her level of physical attractiveness.
Nerds in general have a hard time getting dates
I love black men who are nerds and geeks. Especially the black geeks! I hope to one day have a geeky, black family ❤
And you may have had a "unexpected" great experience. Lol!
@@vincentmartin3337I’m confused?
Same for me, I've only dated nerds the whole 23 years of my life.
What people aren't getting is that women in general, not just black women. We don't like weirdos or someone who is pushing a romantic relationship on us. Some of them happen to be nerds. I'm sure this same thing applies to men.
@@Nancynelloo Meaning that when someone who finally dated a black "nerd" was probably shocked that they could actually like and fall in love with one.
where tf is the family sitcom centered on this
as a black nerdy woman growing up I was bullied by black boys who werent interested in the same stuff I was, im not going to carry that into my adulthood 😭 and let stuff that happened in the past set the tone for the future. thats like self sabotage.
I would also think the same way if I didn't have trouble dating
Growing up as a black girl nerd/geek I’ve always been attracted to black nerdy/geeky folks and still do. When I was in school I noticed that the black boy nerds didn’t like nerdy black girls they wanted the popular girls and would make fun of nerdy, geeky, and odd girls. Now it wasn’t all of them but a lot of black nerdy boys I noticed was like this. They would even go so far to embarrass you in front of the popular kids to make them look cool. This happened to me and to other girls throughout my childhood in school. Also I want to add that I know that nerdy black girls was interested in popular boys too but we didn’t trash nerdy boys so that they would like us.
If a black man said this they would call him a lair. Only our experiences on this topic get invalidated
@@cseptember6562like did u even watch the video
@@jalaarts Yes. And hes doing exactly that. So is this commenter.
@@cseptember6562 no this black girl is sharing her experience, which u took as an opportunity to literally do what your mad at us for “doing”. the guy in the video literally validates your experience, and tells you not to blame all black women for your trauma because they also went through the same thing, and instead move on and heal. i genuinely think u did not watch the video 😭
@@jalaarts I never got mad at her or said she was lying. I said if a black man said what she said he would be called a liar which is true.
He validates nothing lol. He literally is basically saying that it is self inflicted which is a lie. I never blamed all black women. But it seems like black women blaming all black men is fine to many in these comments
I loooveee this!!! As a black woman that used to be a professional comic con model this is sooo real! If I'm honest it was always black men that tried to invalidate me. It was like 2012-1215 so fortunately (or unfortunately) it wasn't too many in general but they were always the ones trying to challenge my audacity to be there or even discredit me all together. The white ppl (men and women) paid hella to take pics with me and appreciated the novelty of my presence but black women were like 70/30 in like 70% would just be excited in the environment and take me as a part of that experience, and bout 30% would get mad and feel like I was trying to get attention and just look sexy when at the end of the day I was paid to be there with like 20 other white women they didn't try to challenge 🤦 but with that said in regards to black men about 40% took the ladder and would also challenge me and about 56% completely tried to invalidate or discredit me in favor of the white models 🤷 was so weird to me and even tho at that time I was conscious enough to understand the situation it was still a eye-opening experience in regards to the reality of blackness in certain spaces.
Co-signing everything you said sis! I had similar experiences.
@emmaANDhayes1on1 i hear you cutie where are you located ❤
It's really sad to see black male nerds treating black female nerds like that
This is accurate outside of this space as well, black men are the ones I see often times going after black women in popular IP's who (usually are seldom casted in these spaces) wether original or recasted (from a white person) are already recieving hate from white people, they always pile one to be like "Yeah! black women don't deserve rep here either!"
@@Chuck_ELit’s really sad how both black men and black women treat each other 😢
I'm conflicted. I do think many black male nerds are being gaslit. For years/decades if you were into anime and nerdy things as a black male, many black people would look at uou as if you grew a second head. But now that Marvel made it trendy and cool to be a nerd, as well as better animation quality in anime, everyone is a so called nerd now. If you're gen z or younger you wouldn't understand the struggle but if you're a black male millennial, you absolutely got no love.
Yup it's the same thing with bullying on the Internet. All of a sudden everyone is a victim of it and no one was a perpetrator. It's gotten so bad with the 180 jujitsu that I've heard ppl say nerds deserved the bullying because of modern terrible famous nerds.
Born in 96, so old enough to actually remember 9/11, Toonami after school on CN, Kids WB all shit. Me getting a girlfriend at 13 showed me girls can like me regardless the fact I’m a huge Sonic fan. The fact I liked Sonic barely came into convo cause they didn’t like it. And that’s okay. We both liked hip hop and dancing. You can share other passions with people too.
@@277Shadow I mean true, but you are downplaying a side of yourself in order to fit in. I'm not judging tho it's better than being ostracized
@@FencingMessiah I’m wasn’t downplaying. I mean why would I talk about Sonic with people who don’t really care, know, or are willing to learn about Sonic? You don’t talk about every subject you like with every person you meet right? I still wore Sonic shirts and shit. I still do. But when around people who shared my interest boom! I also like animals, space, history, politics, social discussions like this, of course video games, anime, cartoons, comics, books of various genres and more just like you I bet. So we share our love of hobbies with people who like them too or are willing to learn about them.
@@FencingMessiah plus I was ostracized, plenty of times. I had to learn to be comfortable with myself, with being alone, and not everyone liking me or downplaying me cause I’m a skinny nerdy black guy. Who would still flex on niggas and pull women at my own rate. I had to learn a sense of confidence with myself and changing my sense of style. Also just general up keep of my appearance helped. Used to leave the crib with wrinkled shirts and pants. Not a good look bro. And the change was good it still expressed me but more clean. My friends say I kind of dress like a dad cause of my button up shirts but still fresh with the kicks.
This comment section is a minefield lol
I'm a 34 year old Black man, my dating experience hasn't been mostly Black women and at a time I thought it might've been because Black women weren't interested in what I had to offer, but I also live in a predominantly white area and was using dating apps with mostly non-Black women on them, both not the greatest indicators of anything real. I didn't even know of Dreamcon until I saw it on a live stream, as I don't live anywhere near Texas and thought "damn, where did all of these beautiful Black nerds come from?"
I mean, assuming you're Black and nerdy, you're probably also introverted and shy, you probably aren't putting yourself out there very much, you're probably not interacting with the people who have the same interests as you do in the settings where they exist. I feel like it's mostly an attitude and an effort thing, rather than a deeply cultural one. Don't be an incel or a femcel and give it more than one or two shots. You don't have to be the most attractive person in the world to find a partner, nor do you have to be super muscular or fit, or crazy intelligent, or rich, or any other external factor. How do you think all these heavier, "less attractive," poor, etc. people all ended up in relationships, but you didn't?
I feel like there's a lot of self loathing, insecurity, and unrealistic standards at play that are preventing people from forming connections with each other. There's also the matter of people assuming just because you have the same hobbies, that you'll automatically be compatible and trying to boil human interaction down to some predictable formula.
It's kinda nutty how many people in these comments are literally doing the exact same things mentioned in this video. Invalidating the experiences of others while validating their own, just ignoring trauma, etc, etc. This video was absolutely fantastic, I just hope some people here grow.
Why do we feel the need to perpetuate the idea that "black women like nerds" when the reality is that black women don't use "nerdiness" as a qualifier for attraction?
What you like to do for fun is completely irrelevant to women.
Your hobbies are about YOU and what YOU like.
Their attraction is about THEM and what THEY like.
Those boxes don't overlap.
@@ReaperCet Yup, I have never heard someone tell the dudes that are super fans of sports to go find women that also like sports
Some pure stone cold FACTS right here
@@edk487you ain’t had to cook so hard. With this comment but you did
I swear most women just have to act like they like the sport to get the guy. Nerds gotta act like a whole different person to get a girl @@edk487
Not a spoken qualification.......but since we talking about it..................
I remember in the episode of the boondocks where granddad and uncle ruckus where playing chess together granddad says “if you try being black maybe you’ll like it” I’m a black nerdy woman who went through trauma with other black people as I grew older when I attended job corps I met nerdy black people who shared the same hobbies and interests as me I felt safe I use to the my trauma as a excuse to be anti black towards my own people I’m very proud and happy I went on the path of light it feels great now all I wanna do is be around other black nerds
I'm happy that you finally accepted that you're a vault dweller lol. I remember when I was in high school I was a rather quiet kid and didn't start trouble with anybody who always kept to myself. One day while I was reading a manga (berserk ) One girl thought it'd be the funniest thing in the world to throw a rock at me from a distance. It hit me in the back of the head and I started bleeding and passed out due to the shock . At the time she and the other cackling people thought it was the funniest thing in the world.
If you had known me back then I would have at least warned you. I would have grabbed your hand and said there's a reason we live here in the vault.
LexiiOnline : I was just trying to make friends.
Me: trust me nothing here is our friend. From the unsafe water and food, to the radiation, to the ghouls raiders and bandits.
Okay somebody check her pepboy to make sure it's working and debrief her at the vault. I didn't pick the fallout the fallout picked me. * Takes out binoculars* sigh now I got to go interrogate these damn scorpions because they could be fake fans. See my work is never done.
As a nerdy black girl, I LOVE nerdy black boys and only ever dated them. I hate how some nerdy black boys don’t think we exist :(((
we see you and appreciate you queen ❤
Shine On fr
It's not that we thought y'all didn't exist... It's just that y'all where nowhere to be found. The more I searched for a black girl who the same interests as me, the lesser chance I had at actually getting a girlfriend.... Especially growing up in a predominantly black neighborhood aka da ghetto.
I can't believe it took me so long to realize when guys would quiz me on what animes I know, they were testing me if I actually like/watch anime.
Do you feel some type of way in hindsight or is it water off of a ducks back? Also what do you think the percentage of these interactions were genuine curiosity or a grill session?
@@OMJunkiehonestly, it’s water off a ducks back now that I know why because I didn’t talk to them after quizzing and grilling me. If it was curiosity you can tell because then I usually end up talking about the anime’s I enjoyed and getting recommendations or giving them. We can tell the difference. When it’s grilling they don’t listen and get defensive, and they make fun of my choice of anime even if it’s something they watch
@@Weeniehutnursemost of them were genuinely curious because again as young black men its tough to find someone (especially women) with similar interests as us so we are honestly more suprised if anything but again i will acknowledge that what you're saying is also true.
For what it's worth, the guys who made Billy and Mandy had a lot of forethought in mind when they decided not to make the dude who was essentially two white kids slaves black. They say this in interviews
TIL 😮
I wouldn't call it A LOT of forethought, considering they had the ultra powerful, heavily accented, black-coded personification of death be subservient to and get abused by a couple of white kids for several seasons. If anything it seemed to be a last minute "oh shit, that's a bad look".
I'm glad they had enough sense to catch it, but still
@@Fooactabruh, thank you. I thought I was having a stroke reading that comment. Like they still gave him a Jamaican accent and practically still made him a black man 😂😂😂😂😂
What
The fact that they’re a lot of people saying that this video “invalided or gaslight” their experience is literally proven they didn’t actually listening to what you’re saying
Discovering and attending Youmacon at the age of 16 may have saved my poor soul from going down the path of darkness. Seeing so many different black nerds helped me to realize that I did not have to fit a mold and that nerdy black women did exist, and that ya boi was tripping.
That’s what I’m saying like now we got events like Dreamcon (RDC my goats) where it’s literally THE black nerd convention lol. Idk why ppl are forgetting that.
@@strudelhhow many of them were nerds before it became popular tho? Lol
@@ssbashalot7324Bro cut that self pity TF OUT😂
@@reet7060 Ain’t no self pity. Dont just throw terms around you don’t know the meaning to.
@@reet7060 cause I can do that too you’re a simp. See?
the older gen that we were raised by is known to enjoy bullying people for being different which encourages you to fit into the status quo by guilt
Lies ... we are the reason nerdyness is accepted. Y'all can thank, the nerdy millennials for teaching our kids it's OK to be nerdy, and for being proud nerds ourselves the way we Cldn't wn we were in school.
Sometime its the parents of that era doing the bullying to their own children.
I'm black and queer, probably disabled. Man you reignited something in me. Thank you, its been a while since I could relate this hard to a video. Good work.
If you're curious about disability identity, there is a free book called "Black Disability Politics" by Sami Schalk. It might be an affirming read. I definitely loved it and you can download chapters from the professor's website.
God bless you
"probably disabled"
This is so interesting to me given when it came out in relation to Megan Thee Stallion's "Otaku Hot Girl" in that song's place as full anime rap
When I heard her talk in interviews I said "She's a nerd , only nerds get The Last Airbender and Space invader references" but it's not socially acceptable in the hip-hop world for any black woman to be a proud nerd unfortunately
The only successful black woman nerd I've seen in the hip-hop world is Queen Latifah
@@Chuck_EL I swear some ppl STILL don’t believe Megan is a nerd/likes anime. Despite recently music with anime themes and references, cosplaying characters, and talking about it on her insta livestreams. I mean even before she was famous with that one meme she had lmao.
@@strudelh It's a discrimination to nerds everywhere! It's racis-
@@strudelh so liking anime makes you a nerd?
She's not a nerd because she's attractive. You can't be a nerd and attractive
@@painunending4610not every nerd is pimple-faced with braces for their dislocated teeth.
I found out about your channel for the boondocks, and I subscribed. It is interesting to know a lot about black culture, although I am not African-American.
greetings from Mexico
many blessings to your curiosity 🙏
i can already tell this video is gonna be good 🌚
As a really nerdy black dude I’ve always attracted black women but I can’t deny the fact that my looks and energy I give plays a gigantic factor me being a nerd always came last. Another thing is I had to heal from trauma of being ostracized and move on. A big but kind of brutal observation of nerdy black dudes especially in the more manosphere space is that majority of them aren’t being checked out by other races of women either people forget how much of an anomaly interracial dating statistically is. Which is why the dudes in the video and blackcels in general are still in their same rut they’ve been in for years. Race does play a role in dating and people in general date their own kind so unfortunately you have to ask yourself why would a nerdy white girl date a nerdy black guy instead of a nerdy white dude?
i dont envy straight men at all. the dating market is brutal for them its not even fair. im glad im at least bisexual so i get more options.
What are blackcels again 💀
@@kroxxroad814 seriously, I want to know too 😂
@@kroxxroad814black incels
@@jozieash5016 ohhh
yea I’ve definitely met a lot of those before..😟
I'm 35 and I never suffered the kind of trauma a lot of these dudes did. But that's because I was always raised to have a solid sense of self-esteem. I never took those rejections as an indictment on my interest or character. So I can say conclusively that that is why I never became jaded.
I still don't have a girl (have in the past, just not now), but I know I'm solid enough that I'll bag a good one eventually. In the older you get the more you realize that whether you can watch anime with her or play video games with her, really don't matter as much as whether you care about and support each other in the real meaningful ways
So just like what you like and focus on being the best of you
I'm the same way but all that means is that you were immune to the bullying not that it didn't happen
@@FencingMessiah the bullying I went through was light and the support systems I had were much heavier and stronger. You can't stop kids from being mean. But you can help kids overcome it
@@kyleflournoy7730Maybe Im misunderstanding but are you saying you never had a gf?
@@iang7244 I'm just saying I don't have one now. I've had a few, nerd and not, black and not
@@kyleflournoy7730 Gotcha
Why are the experiences of Black men always treated as myths or lies to be invalidated and exposed, such as the 'educated lame' or the 'Black nerd'? In contrast, when Black women share their experiences, they are accepted without question as undeniably true, and anyone who questions their lived experience is accused of participating in misogynoir? Black men, you are not doing-machines for these people. Your experiences matter, and your opinions matter. Don't let anyone tell you that you are interpreting your own experiences incorrectly.
I feel you on this one. Since I know kids that got bullied and beat for their interests. Like we're effing kids the hell we doing rolling like we're adults? Why couldn't we just be children realizing we're still learning? Yet my peers a lot of them we burning out since middle school, I hope they're good now and living the best life now. We should have treated each other better yet that's why hindsight is thing. Pain is valid it's why we learn the way we learn.
100%, but also know to not generalize the opposite gender due to your experiences. Yes, your experiences are valid but the best thing you can do for yourself is to have intospection and build your self-esteem. There's someone out here for everyone, just be you and confident.
However, I do agree that black women's experiences are more validated, and justified to make hateful generalizations against men. Such as black women making claims that black men don't want them, which is absolutely false. BM mostly date within their own race, and love black women. Black women also need to do some introspection as well and not live in contempt for black men.
The black community needs love more than anything right now, and it's disappointing that gender wars has permeated our views and divided us so much. We can do so much better. I wouldn't be surprised if this was some elaborate inside job by white supremacists to destroy us.
@@raindavisz 2nd Wave feminists were also CIA agents. Pretty much right after Civil Rights was over in 1969 they subverted it in the 1970s removing the black male from work he can do and breaking up the family. So you're right the ish the government has done not just to black men yet men in general circled around slapped the women they were "empowering" thus the children been suffering overall since then.
Thank you. Honestly fuck this video and all the comments that are trying to invalidate black mens' ACTUAL experiences growing up and essentially victim blaming them. Many black men went through traumatizing shit, but instead of acknowledging it, videos like this are trying to somehow re-write the narrative that it was the victims fault. Trying to tell them that their actual EXPERIENCES weren't real. You weren't there for each and every person's experience, so stop trying to speak on it.
Fuck out of here with that. If we started doing the same about black women's trauma (aka, you didn't experience colorism in dating about your dark skin, it's all made up in your mind) they'd blow a gasket. Stop invalidating people's trauma.
Exactly. Whenever we talk about out experiences about this we are called liars. I do not know why people love acting like this isnt a real thing
3:07 Guilty I have been down that hole only to realize that black women, or black people in general, are like another group of people you are going to run into in your lifetime, some are going to like you some won't it's that simple. It's ok to not be everybody's cup of tea as long as your being genuine.
The cool part about this realisation is that even though your not everyone's type, there's probably someone out there that would be into you.
@@exaggeratedswaggerofablackteenwhat if there isnt though? how do we know this isnt just some coping mechanism
@@ZeroCloudsZeroSkies just stay inside and never find out I suppose
@@sludgepls ok. what if i find out and the answer is there is no one into me. what then?
@@ZeroCloudsZeroSkiesWell that’s the only way to find out. To go out and try. Would you rather not try to find someone and just give up by default?
We sure do, but at times it’s not reciprocated 🥴. Not until I went to an HBCU, where we essentially were all nerds.
And since HBCUs are majority female, you look at all these nerdy clubs and guaranteed they were created and run by mainly women 😂
It just shows me these dudes whining didn’t go after higher education. Or they were so bitter they’d rather get bullied by whitey then see past the black stereotypes and try HBCUs🤦🏿♂️
@@reet7060 Just because they are nerds just like us does not automatically mean they’re gonna be attracted to us. That’s what y’all ain’t understanding. What you just did was discredit majority of our experiences by saying this ignorant bs.
@@HUeducator2011 not all of you don’t. Just because we are both nerds don’t automatically mean you’re gonna be attracted to us
@@ssbashalot7324 that “at times” is tripping you up eh?
as a black women who’s almost 30 years old, the problem i have with nerdy men in general is a lot of them seem to think we just started existing like 3 years ago 😂 and as a connoisseur of more feminine nerdy media and hobbies, that does get constantly invalidated by men. the disappointed look on their faces when i say i’m into madoka magica, k-on, and sailor moon over series like naruto or one piece is very telling lmao.
I'm almost 20 and i get what you mean 😂. I had a friend who was always telling me about his anime waifus and all that but the moment I mention and anime guy or so, he totally dismisses it and has no interest😂. Even when i tell some of them that I also watch romance and slice of life, they totally turn against me and make fun of me for watching romance but only pay attention whenever i talk about action anime😂.
@@blessing_ify they still act that way when they’re 30+ babe 😂. there’s good ones out there that will share your interests or listen to you be passionate about feminine media, but cut them off immediately if they try to talk down on you and your likes/hobbies. also don’t feel obligated to end up with a “nerd”. many “nerdy” men only have one definition of what a nerd is when it’s such a broad term. many of us seldom have much in common due to it. good luck!
@@ryannthegawd Thank you. I'm already cutting them off🙏🏼🤍. Take care ❤️
the main problem i run into is them QUIZZING me on anime characters that I don't know about! like I don't watch Naruto, I'm not INTO Naruto, i write 50+ page fanfiction of magical girls :/
@@miimichi4705 if you don’t watch battle shonen you’re not a “real” nerd according to them. their definition of nerd is very one note.
I have a couple of things to say and I’m going to ramble on a bit.
1- love your channel and I glad I found you by your Tubi video
2- I’m 15 and I dealt with feeling I wasn’t black enough. Mostly in the 8th grade due to me not listening to a lot of rap music and being called not black enough/not culture enough by some of my classmates.
Though in the same vein a male classmate who was black and kinda the “weird” kid in my class. He told me and my friend that he will never date black woman due to all of us being ghetto. And looking back at these experience it’s so contradicting it’s kinda funny but sad at the same time. Despite this I’ve never been anti black. While I do believe that the black community has problems. Like homophobia, anti blackness, ableism, sexism, and etc. I never hated the black community as a whole because we aren’t the same
3- I hope that more and more generation of black kids will slowly stop this cycle of anti blackness and being bullied for being a nerd. Especially since it’s more easier now to find blerd groups that’ll aspect you
4- keep up the amazing work and I can’t wait for more
Edit: thanks for the nice replies.
I also wish I commented this early but it slipped my mind.
I really don’t understand that mean that’s like “when your soon is a geek”. It just screams TOXIC masculinity
life improves greatly after high school. keep your head up!
It almost brings a tear to my eye that you have the language and understanding at such a young age to acknowledge and understand the various systems of oppression that we have to navigate on a daily basis. I was in my early 30's when I first learned terms like anti-blackness and ableism and it's a joy that these concepts are becoming so commonly known that the youth have access to them.
Being able to see the underlying framework of society and how it's designed to exploit us (and also non-Black people) won't bring you happiness. But it will hopefully lead you to understand that a lot of the ways you have been encouraged to feel about yourself are the result of tools of oppression and are not an accurate evaluation of you, your value or what you contribute to the world.
I completely agree with you that Black people are not monolithic but that makes me love us even more.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and perspectives. It really made me happy to know that your generation have the insights that my generation hoped you would.
One should always love one's race, because no one else will do it for oneself. And others will make sure to remind one of that.
This is especially true for us, and I sincerely hope that kid you talked about will figure it out himself (instead of learning it the hard way from not-so-friendly non-Black women).
No one likes self-loathing people anyways - non-Black people withstanding.
It follows that even if he wants to date out, he better learn to like his own people (if for no reason other than to increase his sense of self-worth and confidence).
Yet the hatred of Black women - as a Black man - *is* a form of self-hatred; in that both Black men and women are Black, different subsets of the *same* in-group.
Tl;dr :
You don't get to hate your own people without hating part of yourself.
There's absolutely no getting around this fundamental truth.
Im a nerd and ive single for 30 years of my life. This must be a new gen thing. Nerds were always ignored because we were considered unattractive, goofy, boring, corny, and not fun to he around with.
well, are you unattractive, boring, and corny?
Im sure I’ll take some heat from this as I know this was touched on in the video to extent. As a male blerd, a lot of resentment comes from a large and rightfu perception of not fully being heard or corrective action being taken. What I mean is whenever we talk about our experiences of being undervalued, overlooked, rejected, ostracized, etc. the counter stories of black female blerds typically take precedent as now we have to unpack mysogynoir, colorism, sexism, etc. Next thing you know, we the male blerd are not even focused on anymore outside of “get over it” “it’s your fault” “you just wanted the desirable pretty popular girl anyways” etc.
Flattop Chicken also had an excellent point in his video: it’s not that female blerds didn’t like male blerds. It’s just that it was primarily the conventionally attractive men who happen to be blerds they really wanted.
Edit: grammar
What I find interesting about these types of videos that claim to address issues for everyone within a specific demographic is how the responsibility is always placed on the individual, especially when that person is male. If a man struggles to find a partner, the message is often that it's his fault. However, when women express the same struggles, the blame tends to shift to society or men as the cause of their difficulties. Even the advice we receive is influenced by gender.
@@ahmorgan YOU SEE IT! THATS exactly what makes this frustrating. And when you decide to not even play, you’re still wrong “men have given up because they can’t control women anymore”. No, I’ve given up because we still can’t rightfully scrutinize women for anything and therefore have no reason to change when they practice bad/harmful dating practices. Somehow, someway, it’s still a man’s fault. Smh
Also, the timing of this video and the state of the current Black dating scene speaks volumes.
@@KLuqman01 facts
Yea. The truth of the matter is a black woman needs to bring up the shortcomings of black women before they really care to ask those questions.
Sadly it just won't happen due to the sisterhood affect.
I was really hoping that this video would actually point out equal wrongs on each side, but as I probably should have expected it only points to black men and says you were the problem.
Hell even in these comments there are black women who are saying that black male needs didn't want them, and their responses are full of support, and a man said that had it been flipped it'd be invalidated by those here which he was immediately proven right.
I am a black man who is really a nerd and pretended not to be one. I was able to pull all the girls, but it can only last so long. I had a lot of surface level relationships. If you focus on love and not flesh, you will get the woman of your dreams. I am married with 2 kids, I would love if my 2 sons were nerds, less to worry about. Black man from the hood that made it signing out.
It's crazy to think at one point in my teenage, young adult phase I thought like this. Until I started dressing better, taking better care of my physical health, both of which instilled more confidence in me helped me get out that mind set. It's deadass crazy to think someone doesn't like JUST you for the hobbies or interest you like. There are usually other factors at play. Teenage me didn't wear chapstick like that, that def played a part 😂😂 can't bag with cracked lips. I just turned 28 tuesday I feel like I meet more women who like me for what I like than the contrary. Even met more women who also like the same things as I do as I got older. Like 13-year-old me really thought "If I had a girlfriend who liked Sonic as much as me, I'll be good." Not even aware of all the factors to consider when dating someone like physical and mental attraction, goals in life, chemistry, similar values etc. Thank god I got a girlfriend at 13 i swear it helped me not think like that anymore.
I could care less now If my woman likes Sonic and my shawty does but not as much as me. We bond over other things anyway that hold more space in my heart. We both like video games and share each other games all the time. I used to say I wanted a gamer girl and I got one and she’s black?!? Nigga I’m winning!!! Even when I met a girl who liked Sonic at anime boston years ago I payed her no mind so yeah lmao. Too many men out here letting the world beat them down instead of building themselves up.
I think that the contradicting sides of this conversation. Could say the same things you are now if you didn't date someone at 13? If you didn't have that opportunity when you were young to have that experience as a fall back to recognize your mistakes as you got older?
Childhood shapes a lot of your adult life, it's hard for a dude and girl to change from thinking negative thoughts as they get older, especially if their life experience is proving those thoughts right.
@@LOLtz1 of course I thought it was implied my experiences saved me from falling down the same path others took. Our experiences do make us up, I was skinny black dude in a school right in the hood, my grandfather was a janitor there, I was prime targeting fuel. I’m still dealing with anger issues from being bullied so much as I’m very protective of myself now. I still have resentment I’m tryna heal. I wasnt bullied cause I like anime, I was bullied cause I was a skinny black dude in a new school. Anime was just another jab they used to belittle me. Maybe they saw something in me they didn’t idk 🤷🏿♂️ you know how this shit go. But even through all that bullshit I went through for 3 years i found people I could be friends with and even a girlfriend! No swag, was being bullied, and I still pulled? Shit man I know not all of us are lucky but there’s someone for someone.
@@277Shadow I'm glad you were able to get that experience it definitely makes a difference between choosing the "light or dark side". However I think that what makes this conversation more tragic because nerds are awkward and being awkward as a kid is a lot different than being awkward as an adult. You don't have the leeway to get away with certain things/ mistakes when you're older.
And without those positive experiences it's hard to move away from the pain/ trauma of the past. That's why even with the dating experience you had in your younger years, there is still some anger from the past of getting bullied.
I wish that there is someone for somebody's argument that was true. And I think most nerd guys want that lucky encounter but know it's not going to happen. Getting that your first romantic encounter when you are young is a lot more different than getting as an adult.
@@LOLtz1 you’re right, most of the anger I have now is from not sticking up for myself the way I would protect myself now. So that’s me forgiving myself more than them in order to heal fully which I’m working on. I was awkward, full on nerd and always embraced it. In high school I had a blue polo shirt, with blue jeans, black and blue shoes, and a Sonic hat and belt buckle. Niggas thought I was crip till they saw the sonic hat 😂😂😂 so I wasn’t making it easier I guess but I met some of my best friends from always being my genuine self. You’re right cause if I didn’t get a girlfriend at 13 it would’ve happened eventually but could’ve made it more difficult for me who was already having insecurities and still do. My experiences don’t invalidate anyone else’s, I’m just saying and the video that there plenty of women, and especially black women who can like us just for us.
@@LOLtz1 ayo big pause 😂 but I’m not ugly right someone in the comments said I get girls cause I’m attractive and that’s when I had my shadow pic up I switched it just to see how they feel no response 😂😂 like yooooooo
I’m trying to have more empathy for black male nerds because they did have it rough from what I witnessed. However, it was those same black male nerds who bullied me in my youth because either they found me unattractive despite having similar interests or they like to take their frustrations on you.
I feel most black nerds regardless of gender share similar experiences.
Dude you continue to be one of the very best on the platform. Every upload I genuinely feel how lucky I am to be hearing such a unique and distinguished voice, keep it up.
They gon be mad at you 🤭
You have no idea.
“They gone be mad” when dumb people agree with dumb people
I'd stand by him ❤
who ?
I'm not. Now a certain type of blk women won't give you chance but other blk women and different culture will give you a chance
I've been a black nerd my entire life but I basically decided to not stress about dating or relationships. My mom has been stressing about me not dating and staying single, but I've told her it's just not my focus anymore in my thirties. I'm trying to emotionally heal from the neglect I've gotten from my parents and they feel like finding a relationship will help with that, but tbh it's not.
I've never seen ppl who were actively pursuing their hobbies be so thoroughly villainized just because a few of the group grew up to be assholes. People who were unfairly maligned for liking the "wrong" things are now being told it never happened or that it did happen but because you deserved it for being abnormal. To hear ppl tell it everyone was a nerd, but where I'm from in all the clubs that were nerdy I know who was there and who wasn't
Yup, it’s gaslighting of epic proportions, but the reason it doesn’t work is because nerds tend to have a very good memory
The gaslighting is crazy like people got stomped on, some stalked and gang bullied off their interests. Where kids didn't want to ride the bus or even make friend due to the drama. Nobody deserved pain for being a CHILD being a CHILD trying to figure the world out. Just becuase some people wanted to act all grown when really they were the most immature in room. Since to bully to battering a peer over them being them is foul.
@@ExeErdna some of the gd bullies were secret nerds too. I got it bad for watching power rangers in elementary school but the insults were so specific to the show that the bully must've been watching it as well. Shit is comical
@@FencingMessiah it's really annoying how there are people that try to act as if this wasn't a common thing. I literally got hit in the back of the head with a rock for keeping to myself and just reading manga. The girl who did it thought it was the funniest thing in the world and everyone seemed to condone it.
Imagine my surprise many years when the one that did it started talking about how much they love anime and manga. I had to have a friend wrestle a rock away from me when I heard that. He told me to let it go and I said that's what I'm trying to do if you just get out of the way. That was one of the few times of my life that I was just level 100 pissed 100 .
this video is edited very well!!! thank you
The issue that I've come across how about 35 minutes in is that nerd is such a wide-ranging term that it loses importance in some ways
If play fighting games and like Sonic the hedgehog (see Avatar) and I want a black nerd gf, but she knows all the kpop idols and plays DND, she might as well be your regular old Real housewife swiftie. Because we have the same amount in common at that point.
Even within a medium. If I play Celeste and breath of the wild and she plays cod and WoW, even if we are both video game nerds, how much intersection do our interests have, you know?
So even if those dudes on the dark path got what they wanted it likely wouldn't look the way they expect
What matters is getting each other, understanding. I won't say i didn't convert my bf to anime and dnd plus whatever else. They can find a new thing together even if its not something considered nerdy, share what they like with each other, listen to each other talking about whatever it is. My bf is my really my bestie. Relationships are individualized and an ideal relationship can look different between couples.
@@squirrel670 I genuinely love that for you and you're absolutely right🥰
Great video Pillboy! Very true. At the end of the day, this is all just anti blackness. Blackness is constantly under a microscope of do’s and don’ts with stereotypes constantly being reinforced, both positive and negative, an over generalization is an over generalization. Black people are vast, and so are nerds. So are people in general. We try and generalize to protect ourselves but it actually ends up blocking us from the people who are meant for us. I’m in a relationship with my girlfriend of almost 2 years, and she’s a blerd just like me. And she doesn’t like me because I’m a nerd, she likes me because she likes ME, and everything that comes with that. And the same goes for her. For my kings reading, keep going. Your person/people are out there. But please don’t shut the door on them before you even give them a chance. I love you guys.
Dang, I went to middle school in Stone Mountain and the bullying at that school was crazy. Lots of junior bloods trying to act tough. Lots of kids who'd say and so anything for attention. The worst school I've ever been to.
Almost two decades of my life has been chewed up by pushing my self-esteem down and forcing myself to change into someone I wasn't and could never be. Once I moved out of that environment and fully understood what I was missing out on, I damn near wanted to cry.
Please love yourselves, Kings. We got this!
I think the actual issue is the fact that a lot of nerdy types simply didn't have either enough access to or positive results (or both) with dating/relationships, and depending on where and how you grew up and the amount of failures you endured, that "delayed start" is often hard to overcome. It's not always as simple as "find the people who like you" and "you just gotta work on yourself and be confident" if you're constantly being told that being yourself isn't valued.
True, plus how is one supposed to expect an adult with no or negative relationship experience to just get over it and be better. When all their younger years have not been positive with relationships.
The people I see on the "light" side of nerdom can point to a positive relationship experience when they were young. Whole people with negative experiences can't.
Honestly, all these dating coaches constantly say just brush it off, but that is easier said than done. In real life it is not that easy to get women, maybe prostitutes, strippers, and OF girls. But women outside of that, it is not easy.
@@CB12345 True. It’s easy to get over or brush off bad experiences if you’re at a point where things have improved for you.
As a black woman, I would love a black man who loves Star Trek and Cosplay. I'm a millennial, so I've been going to comicbook conventions since the late 90s, and it was not cool back then.
also… and I wanna say this gently & with the best intentions. Sometimes it’s not being a nerd and having certain interests that’s holding some ppl back…that hurt you’re holding on to can manifest ways that aren’t conducive to a healthy relationship. I’ve encountered a lot of nice guy syndrome in these communities. Be honest, if you were a woman, would you feel safe with a man that displayed an underlying resentment and anger towards you because of how he was treated in the past? There’s no manic pixie dream Black girl that will wash that pain and it’s effects on you away. “Nerds” aren’t any more immune from doing the personal work anyone else is. We’re all capable of doing harm to others if we don’t heal.
Yet a lot of people don't know how to heal since too often therapist are more so used to extroverted people. With men we want problems solved since talking about it is what we've gone through our heads for years. Which circle back to the resentment when people notice the world isn't changing so why should they? People are being horrible to others are the same ones like "why aren't people checking for me" Yet being that bitter for either men or women isn't healthy, since too often we want the same things yet our pain binds us to react instead of reflecting.
Thank you so much for making this amazing video and doing this important topic justice!
Had to sub, great video…well made, and covers a lot of ground. I love that you dedicated significant time to addressing the real pain nerdy black dudes faced out here, gaslighting the brothers we need to reach is so harmful…. Keep doing ya thang 💪🏾
There are Black women who like nerds, do the nerds like the Black women who like them?
Nerdy black dudes most likely go after the bombshell that's too well known, nah mean?
This is cap. Men go for what they can get and who like them. Only very attractive men are picky
Pray tell, what is the difference between this comment, and the generalizing that nerdy black girls only go for traditionally attractive men/ f-boys? Especially, since this a video that seeks to move beyond gross generations...
@@IllMatic97 Steve Urkel who had Myra still wanted Laura
That's how it really is with many of them
That's why it's odd when I see black Incels doggin him out for it when they would do the same thing
@@FencingMessiahfacts it’s never a bad thing to take your time and not rush into something bc someones like you while hating you at the same time
I’m a black female and I’ve been called a nerd all my life from my own(men and women). Didn’t ever bother me? It didn’t. I would always say, “So being able to read and speak a complete statement is a bad thing? Make it make sense to me. I’m listening.”
This was almost my exact response! or I'd say "sorry that I actually read books every now and then" when I was feeling slightly sassy that day 😂
For me as Black nerd who’s pre teen/teen years was in 90s/early 00s. Looking inward helped me get through the bullying etc.
It wasn’t until I got my 1st black girlfriend my 1st year in college. (That relationship ended badly but thankful it happened)
I had to come to terms with yes I got bullying by black girls & boys for liking Digimon & nerdy ish.
I realized I had more then few Black girls back in school who shared my interests & some even liked me.
It was I who was trying to talk to girls who didn’t share my interests rejected me & then I would make a generalize statement
We all have things to unlearn anti black nonsense; have some introspection &growth is key.
A lot of the conversation is made easier by just parsing out and naming ableism as opposed to “Black nerds.”
I’m Black, queer, and disabled and most of the things that keep getting reduced to “nerdy Black men” are as just ableism with a different name and a lot of these dudes who buy into patriarchal expectations of Black women are just more angry they can’t reap the same benefits of misogynoir.
I do think it’s important to frame these issues as if they begin and end with childhood experiences which, like ableism isn’t just some dude who had a rough time in high school.
With a lot of Black make celebrities like Donald Glover, Michael Che, Aaron Mcgruder and so on, they typically from come from middle to upper class backgrounds and build “nerddom” as their brand to obscure their misogynoir.
They’re also welcomed to Hollywood spaces specifically because of their willingness to align with the status quo. Their interest in Black politics only extends as far as what affects them personally and is little more than a brand.
Shows like Atlanta, The Boondocks, and Michael’s work in SNL all reinforce those patriarchal views in their works. It's why any time you bring up misogynoir, transphobia, ableism, etc in these works they hide behind their Blackness to justify it and have no shortage of Black people who align with those views insisting you just missed the point.
It’s why Michael Che thought it was funny to mock Simone Biles and the sexual violence she experienced.
Michael Che: variety.com/2021/tv/news/michael-che-simone-biles-instagram-1235031377/ and www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/simone-biles-says-she-was-molested-gymnastics-doctor-larry-nassar-n837806
I don’t really agree that this is childhood trauma, it’s more a lack of intersectionality and specifically them not addressing their pursuit of desirability politics. I’d suggest a number of readings by it by Black trans authors who discuss it in depth. It drives more directly at what you’re discussing.
Desire/ability politics is the methodology through which the sovereignty of those deemed(conventionally) Attractive/Beautiful is determined. Put another way, the politics of Desire labels that which determines who gains and holds both social and structural power through the affairs of sensuality, often predicated on anti-Blackness, anti-fatness, (trans)misogynoir, cissexism, queer antagonism,and all other structural violence. It is intended to name the social,political, and economic capital one obtains / is given access to through the ability to be Desired. By this I mean that Desire is about much more than being desired; it is about one’s ability to always already be positioned as the very embodiment of the thing(s) that make(s) one Desire/able.
- Harrison,Da’Shaun L. Belly of the Beast: The Politics ofAnti-Fatness as Anti-Blackness.
From birth and in most of the very media we're nerding out over, there's a repeated communication about who is considered desirable and thus human in the way we frame narratives around Black queer, fat, disabled, dark-skinned, etc people. A lot of dudes, nerd or not, are conditioned in patriarchal understandings of Black women and it manifests in community imaginable.
It's easier to just say that a some Black people just don't give a damn about anyone and under a white supremacist, patriarchal society are just self-serving. The "Black women hate Black nerdy men" BS is just a pursuit of desirability and power through patriarchy.
Right, so I think the problem here is you internalizing your 'undesirability,' and allowing yourself to be impressionable to extremist leftist ideologies as a result of your trauma. You seek to identify with new labels to have a sense of belonging, because you aren't content with yourself. A lot of these "issues" you listed, don't even involve the black community and is just outlet for you promote and excuse degeneracy while masquerading as social justice. Ideological gender issues aren't to be taken seriously and certainly don't explain/correlate to anything regarding black struggle.
As middle schooler, I was constantly bullied for still watching Ninjago and TMNT. But I decided to do something about it and start a UA-cam channel to inspire other kids like me not to feel ashamed about their interests.
One of the problems is that people seem to have forgotten what the word "nerd" means and, for some reason, they don't know how to locate a dictionary online or in a library. Nowhere in the definition of "nerd" are anime and video games mentioned. A lot of people who are not nerds are into anime and video games. The various definitions for "nerd" mention being highly intelligent, socially awkward, and into academics (especially science and technical subjects). As someone who prefers to date nerds, a lot of the self-identified male nerds are not even nerds. Whenever a Black man says that he's never met a Black female nerd, it turns out that he hasn't met a Black woman/girl who is into anime or video games. I am sure that he has come across Black women who did very well in school and were into science or some other academic field of study.
I love smart guys. I also love a man that has passion enough about something where he can teach me.
You know what the best way is to get over a set or a run of bad experiences, though? Better experiences. The best way to get over rejection is experiencing acceptance.
This video hit so hard GAHLEE!
I’ve been a black nerd since I was a youngling; and through childhood, yeah I was made fun of, but I didn’t allow that to fully control what I liked, and that took years of learning about myself alongside unlearning sht too. One thing that aided me to actually becoming friends w nerdy black women was just talking to them. To not doubt or invalidate their experiences either. Black nerdy women experience the same thing, just at different capacity. We can talk and learn from each other; which harkens back to your point with being a black nerd in today’s climate. We’ve gotta listen to each-other much more actively and I think that if more brothers stopped questioning their experiences and talked to them as people, not trauma dumps, we as a community could grow so much more collectively.
I’m beyond happy & loved with my black geek🫶🏽💗💗
51:12 thank you! Nobody is obligated to be with you just because you're a nerd but that goes for anybody. And I just want to say based on the comment section I see some of these men didn't look at the video
I'm a Black nerd who majority gfs were black female nerds. If you get over yourself and open up to others you'll find someone.
You guys really want to destroy our community. Disrespecting the experience of ostracized men is what is pushing these ninja over to the side of the enemy, but at least you got your props for being one of the good ones....
@@johncalhoun916 lol 😂
@johncalhoun916 yep I don't think these ppl understand how this gaslighting nonsense affects mfs' mentalities. Making us feel like we crazy for what we experienced lmaoo
@@demetriuseanno one is saying yall experience is not valid and was harmful. However isolating yourself and ruminating in trauma WILL prevent you from finding someone you like.
@@colorgirl5968 that's cool but women still don't like that nerd stuff. If it was true. These young men and boys wouldn't be saying the same thing dudes in the 90s and 00s were saying.
The Black community would be also mostly blerds.......but a huge chunk is rather ratchet or a certain performative American Blackness that doesn't overlap with nerd/geek culture.
It's just wild folks are still gaslighting men on their experience instead of peeping the overall issue with Black culture trying to alienate blerds. Certain people get a pass because they are either good looking or rich. But outside of that folks don't get passes.
this video is perfect, genuinely can’t wait to see what this account cooks up
I enjoy this. I am a nerdy black woman who grew up always being told that i was strange, weird, or “acted white” because simply i spoke differently and my interest were in Amine or Star Wars. When I was a teenager, I have seen guys in my age group tried to strive for girls who didn’t have the same interest or attitude. It was strange to watch the same guys strive to talk down at those girls for rejecting them and even to this day. There were nerdy girls who wanted to be with the nerdy guys. Only speaking for myself, I only dated and continue to date nerdy men. I am currently dating a hardcore Amine gamer black man😂
I find it so interesting that whenever people say this, black men complain they're experiences are being invalided but what's even more interesting is that whenever nerdy black women like myself bring up the fact that nerdy black men practically ignored us because the black girls that they were typically attracted to were not their female counterparts and were usually the pretty girls or the cheerleaders. They straight up deny this and invalidate our experiences lol. Simply because they know that if this were to be brung up, that the girls that they liked were literally the female equivalent to the jocks, popular boys and "thugs". They would be looked at as just as superficial as the girls that they are complaining about. But honestly those girls weren't even really superficial as they were just going for guys in their league, something that the black nerdy guys (For the most part) weren't doing. Pretty much the Steve Urckle situation. They also never bring up the fact that they would quiz us on our "Nerdy" interest and then make fun of us and be heavily misogynistic towards us due to the things or genres we were interested in being too "girly" or "feminine". Not to mention poor hygiene, lack of social skills, anti black attitudes, etc. Now I didn't mean to go on a rant there but at this point I'm really sick and tied of this narrative, and black women wether they're nerdy or not being made to feel bad for supposedly never giving the nerdy guy a chance knowing damn well that these same nerdy guys who are probably complaining on twitter about a black girl calling them "corny" in middle school didn't even look my way and were over there calling me a "poser" for the exact same reason 😂
Yeah, it's wild how that works, also wanted a nerdy gamer girlfriend but went after women who were not interested in my hobbies in high school 😂😂😂😂 cause there's a particular woman who now in adulthood I wish I could've been better friends and nicer to them. Not only she looks great our personalities mashed very well back then too. You live and learn; I got a girlfriend now and well she's all I could ask for. Thick, smart, black, likes video games and cartoons and deep social discussions like this, cooking, just a goofball like me I'm winning. Idk why niggas wanna quiz a shawty like that proves she's worthy to be his girlfriend or some shit. Like what if she just got into whatever that guy has been clearly obsessing over since birth she not gonna know everything. Should make it better cause you can share and learn with them but some dudes be weird.
Acknowledging your experiences would require a lot of these dudes to acknowledge that our trauma is shared and not exclusive to Black men, and would debunk the monolithic narrative a lot of them have of Black Women.
@@studiopillboythanks for this
1. There were never/barley any black nerdy women around and if there were they didn't make known and aint say anything to us. So you cant blame us for that.
2. There is no such thing as being out of someone's league. They are just not into them. That is it. If being a nerd means that you're beneath someone for them to actually give you a shot then thats as shallow and superficial as it gets right?
3. As for those "quizes", it is extremely hard for a young black nerd male to find someone (especially black women) with the exact same interests as us. When we are "quizing" you we are genuinely curious because it is a shock to us. As for making fun of what type of animes you watch, are we not allowed to joke around?
4. You actually bought into the stereotype of nerdy black men having poor hygiene? Many of us cant actually control the fact that we have lack of social skills and what are the anti black attitudes that we displayed?
You really didn't do anything with this comment. Infact not only did you invalidate our experiences but you also tried to rewrite history and gaslight us by saying we were the problem and then you belittled us by saying we were "not in the leauge" of the women you want to think all of us were after.
@@studiopillboymajority vs minority. Also every thing she said in this comment wasnt even accurate and it doesn't debunk anything so in this case they are indeed a monolith
I'm a black woman that's a nerd. But I think my outer appearance attracts a guy but when they see my nerdy side they don't like it. And I love nerdy guys.😭😭😭
I have the same issue 😢
I’m glad to see so many people had a better experience than me. The black girls I grew up around were definitely more interested in the swag guys. I don’t have any animosity towards any black women. I ended up married with my own son anyways.
Lol at “ the swag guys” a nerd that have swag can’t he ? So was it that there was a real lack of nerdy girls and girls there couldn’t relate as much as they could to the swag guys than you ? ( people are naturally drawn to those who are more than less the male and female versions of themselves when it comes to personality interests and values ) or is it just because the swag guys had more confidence and better social skills? And The main thing about guys who score with a lot of women isn’t looks, charm or money,all that helps obviously but the main thing is they go after it more than most guys without letting the fear of rejection stop them. It’s a numbers game. A guy having slept with a lot of women isn’t really impressive because the quality of women differs and the level of pursuit and desire a man has to sleep with a lot of women differs.
@@Jackholiday1025 I just used that to allude to an archetype, like jock, theater kid, etc.
I got so scared and read the last sentence as, “I ended up married with my own son” and had to reread that two more times..😭
@@kroxxroad814 my bad bro, I don’t do my best typing on my phone 😂
@@EnigmaticLich 😭
Certified black nerd. Age 40. Zero swag. Zero game. From a city that's only 10% black. 100% of my long term relationships, 90% of my short term relationships have been with BLACK WOMEN. Currently married, BLACK WIFE. None of these women were nerds, and ranged from the hood and middle class backgrounds. Hell, probably would have gotten married years earlier if I had met a black woman nerd. At the end of the day black men and women are made for each other.
EDITED To Add: Did some girls call me corny or bully me in school? Yes. But ran into several of those same girls in my twenties, we spoke like old friends. Hell even one of them gave me her number and we ended up hooking up (completely took me by surprise lol).
got tis recommended 2 months after- as a black girl, its cool to see smaller channels like you discussing divisive topics in such an elaborate way. your video style is cool too? I hope you will grow soon.
Thank you so much. I feel the need to share my story as a black girl aswell:
I am Zillennial (half gen z half millenial) 2nd gen migrant from europe & grew up in an environment where being black and a fanatic of anime, cartoons, comics and gaming wasnt a big deal among young black ppl, not very rare for guys in the black community. Maybe I can not classify myself a nerd/geek because I enjoyed the anime/gamingscene interest without making my whole life about it even though I didnt hide it either. But I was definitely a visible alt black girl (emo clothing and hairstyle and the liking of hard rock and kpop and jpop before it was popular) and THAT was the biggest no-no as a black girl where I was from😂 I literally got adviced to hide that part of me asap growing up a teen cause i might get bullied at some point. So I toned it down and only shared my deepest interest with select ppl who happen to be non black in my school. That was the start of me feeling uncomfortable around most black ppl in general cause I internalized that being myself would be a crime around my own people but never around non black people. On top of that I experienced colorism for being dark skin from black ppl, and whenever I did have a crush on a black guy who had nerd/geek/alt interests (im talking average looking, I internalised super attractive black guys wouldnt like me) they ALWAYS liked non black girls or lighter skin girls. This made me think bm in general jus cant like me for either being ds or too "different". Then I became an adult. Travelled a bit and started meeting new people in new places and I learned that my experiences really dont neccessarily defy what a complete stranger who looks a certain way might think of me. Its safe to say that I met plenty of bm that changed my mind, and only because I decided to give the brighter perspective of life a chance. I can sit here and be mad at bm and bw who made me feel a certain way in the past or envy the younger Gen Z for not having to deal with some of the issues I dealt with as a alt black girl and hopping on trends I would get in trouble for. But looking forward has brought me so much blessings and peace in completely being myself and im excited for this trend of black people being openly nerd/ geek/ alt.. i mean what a time right? I love it❤
Rock was created by black People, African Americans to be exact and K-POP is just mimicking western pop culture, mostly Hip-Hop and R&B which again is Black, most precisely African American culture, so I’m confused on what you’re referring to about being ALT? I think what was weird is you liking Black culture on non-Black people more than on Black People who invented it
@@Karsielatee She's saying that she considers herself alt because although Black Americans originated those music genres, they've been warped and repacked and black people are no longer the main demographic for it, so if there is a black person that takes interest, they're "othered" in a way. So she's correct.
Why do you feel as though she only likes those things if non-black people are involved with it? She said nothing of the sort.
@@MsBree0 Thank you for your sound response, I hope it helps him.
@JiminsLeftElbow You're welcome babe! It won't though, he wants to be strong and wrong 🤣. These dudes will gaslight you and make you feel crazy so I wanted to reaffirm that you're making sense
Next time you canvas Black nerds experience and need an “Unc” perspective, TAG ME IN, NEPHEW!
Love what you’re doing. Stay up.
need flattop chicken response to this frl frl
I had a daughter with a Black woman who was and still is a nerd. We both had our share of issues and had healing to do. We're no longer a couple but good friends. I was a late bloomer and dated interracially similar to what the young brother said i didn't know or rather was unaware of black women who enjoyed what i enjoyed. Date and love without any hate or bitterness toward your culture. I hope we embrace Mental health healing and a Spiritual practice to free ourselves from anything that causes us to hate ourselves or others within culture. I appreciate the content. This was much needed.
I watched 38mins of this video and I gotta say, I don't see how what's said in the video proves the title. To me, it really just seems like a cordial and very elaborate way of saying "Everybody hurt. Stop being bitter and deal with it". Okay. Doesn't really change the perception that:
1) The % of Black women that even tolerate nerdiness is a minority (even if its 25, 33, even 40% that's still a minority), let alone actually LIKES nerdiness
2) The Black women that don't like nerdiness come down harshly on the Black men that are into it, with a high enough propensity for it to be "a thing"
3) Even for the nerdy Black women, and lot of them will go after the "normal" Black men anyway because there's that "cool luster" to them that just most women desire. And men generally are less fickle about dealbreakers in relationships than women, so the normal Black dude will still accept the nerdy Black woman, if he's attracted to her. Thus, leaving nerdy Black men festering in isolation cuz they ain't wanted by nobody (realistically just a lot, lot less than the normies)
This video isn't doing anything to change or alter that perception (note: I keep calling it "perception" because I'm not about to claim that this is the actual reality if we were to get into statistics; but that perception is still very important, and the reason why videos like this exist in the first place)
To be honest I’ve been down that “path of darkness” discussed in the video. Growing up in the deep south and going to a white school, I never got the chance to think anything positive about myself or my interests for a long time. The few friends i had excluding one, were all pretty racist. When I see nerds who have fallen to the glover effect, i still see echos of myself within it. It hurts to see that i was so brazenly shut off for so long to think that. I was just a kid, yet i refused to take care of my health, i didn’t eat enough food on purpose, I didn’t shower or take care of my hair. I actually didn’t think anyone on earth could ever love me for a big portion of my life. There is something so important about learning who you are and accepting it.
Your parents were awful for putting you in that type of environment and position, no child deserves to go through what you did
so sad, im so glad i went to a black suburban school. I didnt realize how great my upbringing was until i hear other stories. the black geeks were a large segment so we all just hung out together. My parents didnt earn a lot but they spent everything they had to get us into a good black neighbourhood most of the black people i went to school with parents were lawyers or doctors, the only time i felt left out was not having as much money as them or depending on scholarships for college when their parents paid for them. Im forever grateful for my parents putting me into that environment seeing successful black people opened up my eyes we only moved because my brother was struggling in a mainly white school, i think if we didnt move he would have been a self hating antiblack incel i was disturbed by what i read in his diaries, he is a different person now i hope parents think hard before they dumb their kids into these schools
Even micheal b jordan got called corny by black women for being a nerd🤷🏽
why the generalizing?🧍🏽♀️
Never heard this
they call him corny because he likes non-black women😂
@@saniyahikard5366I suggest you go look at the situation again before you make a fool of yourself
I’ve been a nerd my whole entire life. Honestly my interests haven’t changed much and I embraced it wholeheartedly.
I’m not even 1 full minute into the video but I had to instantly subscribe! Love the style and formatting ❤
these are actually genuinely good videos
I noticed you didn’t mention the staggering amount of alt,nerdy, etc black women dating out exclusively.