The Man with 2 Faces (Life as a Medical Refugee)
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- Опубліковано 28 сер 2023
- Tres is the only known living case of diprosopus, a condition that causes a person to have two faces on one body. He and Brandy, his mom, have become medical refugees within the United States. They live in a rural town hundreds of miles away from any loved ones. Tres and Brandy hope to one day return home, but the variance in laws from state to state has forced them to become medical refugees. These two want others to understand that people like Tres deserve a place in this world.
Connect with Tres and Brandy at / diprosopusdiaries
Support SBSK at / sbsk
I can't believe the disrespect the mother is getting shown. Especially by medical professionals. The ignorance is staggering but not surprising.
💯 agree! Why does the world have to be such a shitty place to such wonderful people in need of hope and care, I will never understand! 👊🤬👍
Doctors are brainwashed by big pharma. Big pharma operate the schools of medicine.
The treatment was disrespectful and jumping to conclusions. Even if there are some mandatory tests in cases like this, they should never assume anything beforehand. It would be reprehensible to treat that anybody like that, even an actual "crack head." Sounds unprofessional and inhumane.
i cant believe she was accused of doing drugs pregnant
I am a pregnant recovering drug addict who is currently on methadone. I’m shown medical discrimination all the time based on me simply having SUD (substance use disorder). Add in the methadone, and it gets even worse. And then on top of that, now I’m pregnant. And even tho it’s MORE dangerous for me to even attempt to taper off methadone while pregnant, I’m still judged by regular people and some medical providers even. And it’s sad to say bc i shouldn’t have to learn to expect this behavior or deal with it, but I do. Bc of my history. And I understand many people are blessed to not have to understand the horrors of addiction. But see? Stigma like this doesn’t ONLY affect current or former drug users/abusers. It affects “regular” people too. All the more reason to stop looking at drug abuse as a moral failing and instead look at it as a treatable disease. Bc that’s what it is.
(I had this as a stand alone comment also, but it seemed extremely fitting as a reply to your comment so I copied and pasted)
Let that sink in folks, she and her son are medical refugees in the United States. This is the true cost of healthcare. She’s had to make decisions none of us could make just to get medicine for her son. America is not great, not until it takes care of its most vulnerable populations.
There is better care available in the USA than anywhere else. Tres needs extensive care and that is going to be expensive. Of course it's unfortunate. But a person needing expensive care doesn't make the USA bad. Lazy argument.
@@pagejames8754 I'd not say that's lazy argument. I'm actually from Brazil and, despite having a lot of problems here I can safely say that the unified health system here (SUS) is life changing for all the population. I've heard stories of people living in the USA struggling really hard with diabetes and the insane cost of insulin, which is essential for them to survive. In Brazil all this medication is available freely of cost for the population. The USA has a lot of advantages and indeed have very advanced technology in health care, but I wouldn't dare live there and risk getting life debts simply for survival. I'm sorry in advance for possible bad English :3
There is actually better Healthcare in other countries. America is far from the "best".
Our friends have a son who has an intellectual disability and his Dad has been his full time paid carer for years. Not only that but the son receives money from the government for social support and he has a case worker who takes him out and he goes to an adult centre with other people with disabilities to enjoy friendship and activities. I'm thankful I live in Australia where people with disabilities receive dedicated care and their parents can be paid carers. It's not perfect here but I can't imagine how heartbreaking this situation is.
@@pagejames8754 Have you actually researched health care systems around the world? I'm in agreement with xochitllee24. Sure there are worse healthcare systems out there, but there are also far-superior systems as well! The bottom line is that ALL of our country should support the small community of families with severely disabled children in the way that Colorado is! I think we can afford to do it, considering how much excess is spent on the arms race in our nation, etc!!!
I cannot fathom the pure agony this mother has faced, and despite all of that, she is absolutely wonderful and pure.
Gayest Comment Award 🌈
@@Anonymous-lq2bs you mean yours? 😂
Amen
@@Anonymous-lq2bsbitch whattt??
I am a retired nurse, and i applaud this mother. I am a cannabis advocate. My daughter has her medical card. God bless you and Tres.
They need to deschedule cannabis
How old 🗝️ is your daughter and how did you go about getting the card
@@fatonyalmitchell3281 she is 33. And she applied for her card online
*Cannabis isn't the issue here. It's the right to take care of one's own child without the government [of The People] being the main obstacle in caring for the child.*
But it also can trigger schizophrenia dear
When she said “a disabled person cannot have more than $2000 in assets at a time- whether it’s incoming money or money held- I was shocked! All I heard was “we (the govt) don’t want disabled people accumulating wealth” That’s absolutely sick that a disabled person isn’t allowed to save their freaking money like the rest of us out of fear they will lose all of their income and/or insurance and/or other medical services. This country just gets better and better! But yeah, “‘Merica- home of the free” am I right?! 🤦♀️
it gets worse than that, they go off your partners income too. For instance, if I married my partner of nearly a decade I'd lose my disability.
529ABLE accounts are a way around that
Yes, the able a counts are a way around that, but not to the same extend of the average person. It really is a catch 22. Now you know why some people on disability do not work - not only would they lose their disability payment but their insurance as well. There are other programs based off having that insurance, so they could potentially lose those as well.
tell me about it. I am disabled and have been struggling so much to make ends meet.
@@d.k.4899Exactly, and I'm guessing that's why the lady in the video said she isn't married anymore. It's so heartbreaking
A lot of people in these comments are talking about how they can't believe that she was accused of doing drugs, etc. But nobody is mentioning that even if that WERE the case, neither she nor her son deserve the mistreatment and dismissal they received.
I have the same thought!
Absolutely! What does it matter? He’s a person who deserves to be treated LIKE A PERSON, regardless of how his disability happened.
@@jillbravo5252 yes! I understand the doctors being concerned insofar as they're mandatory reporters and have to ensure that child child will be going to a safe home, but even that can be done with kindness. Most who battle addiction are using it to fight harder battles (trauma, poverty, etc), and they deserve as much kindness as anyone else who is struggling.
True !!
Love that you said this!
My second child was born 15 weeks premature. This exact thing happened to me. Drug tested, zero drugs in my system, and they still harassed me for the entire 3 months we were in NICU. This mom is absolutely awesome.
💪🏼❤🫂
Gayest Comment Award 🌈
@@Makeachange...huh?
people of all walks of life can be so rude. hey just feel sorry for those ignorant people. they must be unhappy campers to push their rudeness off on the innocent. God bless you.
@@Anonymous-lq2bswhat is wrong with you?
Society is judged by how we care for those who need us the most. This mother said it best: “Everybody deserves a place in this world”. Much love 💕🐝💕
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As a former group home manager I can sadly confirm that many people make the hateful assumption that physical and developmental irregularities are mostly caused by the mother, smoking cigarettes, using drugs or otherwise not being a health nut and staying in bed for 9 months. I have Marfan Syndrome. I was born with bone deformities. These things happen on a regular basis. All kids really need is love and support. Who cares if they’re not all the same ??You’re a wonderful Mom and your Son is beautiful 💖💖💖
Keep up the good work!! ❤❤
>>people make the hateful assumption
Beginning with the medical establishment.
I know about Marfan syndrome sadly because Osama Bin Laden had Marfan syndrome and I was watching a show with an intelligence agent talk about it and how sick it made Bin Laden. He needed dialysis etc.
@@c-LAW Don’t even get me started. I fought their useless bureaucracy to the point I had bleeding ulcers. I made myself sick trying to keep my clients healthy.
@@Lunchladydoyle I wish I had a solution, other a different jurisdiction (i hate that word) in which to live.
She wasn’t even an addict and she got treated this horribly.
And actual addicts also deserve help instead of hatred.
This is one of the rawest videos on this channel, because it immediately jumps to the truth of the problem. The hatred to the disabled. No money allowed despite needing more than healthy people, and the endless assumptions that health is a choice.
Oh no…
Ugh the "Heath is a choice" peope. If only it were that easy for everyone
@@nattie911 health is a choice, even in absolute bad health, you still choose to do the right things or the wrong things. Life is unfair, unjust and un even, stop crying and grow up
that's a rly good way to put it, assumptions that health is a choice!!
@@jamie5092 it is. You may not be able to choose the starting point, but once you are alive and learn about the ailments, it's up tp you and only you to deal with it, a.k.a. a choice
As a pediatric nurse, I have witnessed first hand cannabis really works for seizure prevention. It’s sad that the providers in Tres and Brandy’s team refused to look further in cannabis treatment. Trust your gut parents. All medications, even approved pharmaceuticals have side effects. It’s a team effort and balance in determining which is best course of treatment.
My foster brother didn’t benefit from cannabis, it was sad we had such high hopes
Tres definitely knows and anticipates when Chris says "3, 2, 1..." when throwing a toy and really seems to enjoy it. It's amazing how well the cannabis helps Tres. It's criminal that doctors would refuse to treat him because he takes it and it works. Bless Tres and his loving, caring mother.
My daughter was born at a severely low birth weight, no fault of my own, she just is different. But because she was so so small, I wanted to wait until she was older and had more body mass before her father and I consented to give her vaccines. This was actually at the advice of my stepmother, who was a registered nurse specializing in pediatric care for over 45 years. It’s not just some thing I came up with on my own thanks to UA-cam 🤦🏽♀️
…and despite my stepmother coming to each appointment and explaining her reasoning, backed up with medical documentation to prove what she was saying and why she came to this conclusion, every single pediatrician within an hour and a half driving distance of us refused to take my daughter on as a patient unless we agreed to catch her up on all of the “recommended” vaccines at an escalated pace.
Several of the doctors actually apologized, and felt very bad about what was happening, but their insurance companies are setting the rules of who they can and cannot have as a patient, and one of those rules includes that they must have every single CDC “recommended“ vaccine.
She’s getting ready to turn three soon, and we finally found a family doctor who’s willing to take her as a patient and give her one vaccine at a time until she is has all of the necessary ones- this list is drastically shorter than the “recommended” list; FYI
Everyone should do what they feel is absolutely best for their children, but it is amazing how much control these people have over our lives right now. I’ve spent the last 2 1/2 years desperately anxious that if she got sick I would lose my daughter to some sort of medical kidnapping. Luckily, she’s been healthy as a horse and slowly putting on weight-she’s very close to what a normal three year old should weigh now. I just don’t understand why a pediatrician would think that it is better that my daughter doesn’t have any medical care simply because we asked to wait.
He stops looking back and forth for the countdown. He's definitely excited for it. It is amazing how Chris is able to connect with people so easily, wow
"I don't want pity. I want respect." This mother is a fighter for her son. I pray they're able to live together ❤️ as a family soon. It's heartbreaking 💔 that policies are separating them.
This is heartbreaking. Strong wonderful lady and mother. A shitty system that is crippling her. Shame on you America.
They just don’t care and it is too late for her family as far as her hubby and other sons! They are divorced and the other sons are grown. Shame on the government!
exactly
Exactly, homes are being broken bc of the stress.❤
Absolutely terrible how the mom was treated by the so called medical professionals and “the system”. What a great mom. What a lovable guy.
It makes sad when they get treated. Women like tres mum are beautiful
To those mothers who has special kids... don't take the blame. It's not your fault. You're a very good mama. Stay Strong.
God bless you for this.
@@YabbaDabbaDooooo 🥰🥰🥰
She is one of the Best Mothers I have ever seen and heard.
thank you, it means a lot
thank you. I got teary eyed reading this
Fascinating story about being a conjoined twin. His mother is an absolute angel. He is a lucky boy to have such a dedicated and loving mother.
God bless Tres' mother. She is the most humble, soft-spoken, wise, and kind person I have "met" in a long time.
💚💚💚
@tedway6162..... Oh, Yes......I agree with you wholeheartedly, and it's sooo refreshing, and Tres is a wonderful young man....soooo precious are he and his mom together......so neat & the most adorable pair....like best friends forever & very brave souls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!💓☺️💓Xoxo
she seems so youthful with all the stress of a disabled child. god bless her
@@KrystalHarwood-dz2xkGod
if there were a God, her child would not have ended up like this. This is terrible. she is far better than i am, i would not have the fortitude to raise a child like this.
The treatment that Tres and Brandy have endured is appalling. I am disabled and understand the ignorance and lack of empathy, but certainly never to the extent that they have suffered. It's heartbreaking.
I'm disabled myself as well and it gets so bad to the point where when people look at me I just think that people are judging me because of the way I look the way I walk and the way I talk it's really upsetting and I think that people need to know and wake up and just know that we're not happy that people say these things about us just because we're different doesn't mean we are born into the world dumb and stupid were born into the world to do things our way in a different way like you think we can't do nothing OH! we can do something alright!
@@SpecialNeedsChamp999❤
@DisabledArtist99999 Exactly! It's frustrating when people think your autism or whatever disability you have hinders you cognitively even though you keep reminding them that it doesn't. Some of us may also communicate with our phone or tablet due to Selective Mutism/social anxiety.
It is
As someone on the spectrum and with OCD, I have trouble with interacting with other people and it makes getting my basic needs met very hard. If it wasnt for my parents in the field I wouldnt ve getting the care I am
You know, being born with some impairments and disabilities, to being told that doctors asked my parents that they wanted to use me as an lab rat rather then to be given a chance to living a life, I completely understand what Tres’ mother means with wanting equality, love and respect for her son. For him to be treated with care because he is, in fact, another human being in this world (however, he has a special light in him). Shame on all of those “doctors” who gave up on Tres. Absolute shame. Seeing Tres being happy throughout the video was truly a blessing.😭❤
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Watching him having a seizure and his mother comforting him made be cry.
Aw
It's sad the our country is failing us when it comes to disabled people.
It’s failed everyone and everywhere!!!!
No one cares we are a afterthought even when it comes to accessible building that are by law required to be ada compliant they arnt
This looks like a bot comment.
@@Brxwn9bot or not it’s telling the truth, our government couldnt care less about the disabled or injured
@@GorillaWithACellphone❤
This story should be front page news. Institutions are never the first choice. Families should be able to stay together. Politics and big pharma run the world. Disgusting.
Well, institutions should be an option for those families that need them. So many institutions were closed in the 1980s, that really are needed.
@@Yooperskepticz They were closed due to pretty appalling conditions. They were supposed to be replaced with community-based care such as group homes and the like, but the money was never allocated to do so.
@@tampabaybuccaneer10 some were appalling, yes, but not all. And as usual the Republicans didn't allocate money for what they claimed would be the alternative, right.
But another factor that didn't seem to be considered is that residents objected to some community houses being in their neighborhood. Not really for physical disabilities, but for mental illness definitely.
@@Yooperskepticz Can you name a specific one that wasn't appalling? If you can, please share the name of the place that existed so we can verify (search & research) their history of patient & family members experience in such an institution.
Beautiful mother and human being. God bless her and her wonderful child. ❤️❤️❤️
This woman is so incredibly brave and powerfully strong!
I cried when he cried during his seizure. No child should have to be put through that, and no mother should have to deal with society’s ignorance and blatantly rude and evil comments. As a kid born with facial defects, a cleft lip and palate, we just want kindness. My wish is for people to choose kindness, to everyone, not based on skin color, race, ethnicity, disabilities, diseases, defects, or anything not perceived as “normal”, but for humans, because we are ALL valuable and deserving of respect. We are ALL human and that’s what should unite us. Thank you Chris for shedding light and spreading awareness for these perfectly beautiful children!
Watching from Europe, I really wonder how the US healthcare system can be so bad. I'm not saying healthcare and insurance here are perfect by any means, but surely we can all agree that caregivers should get some financial help when caring for their children...
There's very few civilized countries with a healthcare system as broken as America.
It’s terrible here in the US it’s all about money, big Pharma that’s all. They don’t want you using any alternatives because it’s not money going into their pocket and all the lobbyists have the politicians in their back pocket
Greed. That's the why US healthcare system is bad. Insurance companies pay lobbyists to get bills passed that allow them to strangle access in states and at a federal level.
So bad that people come from around the world to get procedures done here instead of in their home country. 🙄
@@angelbear_og??? You’re arguing against a wall, nobody said that US doctors are bad at their jobs lmfao. The system is objectively terrible and anyone with a working brain is able to realize that. Americans are such an embarrassment.
Her explanation is how EVERY family with a member with disabilities struggles. We live in Ohio and that 2000.00 is so irritating. This country is worried about what gender we are, when the world of the disabled live in poverty and that is totally overlooked. I agree with this mom 100%. My hope is that this video will start a fire of change. Tres and mom deserve that!
It’s all about control;
Control gender, control reproduction, and by god keep those disabled people in a pen somewhere.
They frame it as caring, caring for the kids, caring for integrity and religion, but that’s just not true. They care about control, not the human person.
yeah they have created imaginary scapegoats and have been attacking gay and trans people, only to make everyone forget about the real problems...
I think more than one thing can be true at once. We live in a complex society that has several layers of problems. I believe we do not have to choose between making space for supporting and caring for both the trans and LGBT community AND the disabled community in the US.
@@julezthealien2467yes totally agree! I think we should fight for both
and disabled ppl on their own
Politicians: Family is the most important thing and life is sacred.
Also politicians: Why aren't you like everybody else? Dump that broken kid in an institution. No, that plant is illegal. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.
I bet that boy's heart is bigger than anybody's here I would feel like it's a blessing to have a child like that
❤❤❤❤It is such a Blessing!
My son has epilepsy and cannabis is the only thing that prevents his seizures. On medications he was still having seizures. The side effects of the medicine was horrible. So I understand what your going through. Luckily NJ has made cannabis legal. But it's still not federally approved.
That is great to hear. I'm sad to live in a country where cannabis is treated like heroin.. I use it myself and I know it would help some of my family members but they all have been taught that it's bad for you.
@@Quzgawhich country do you live in? Not Brazil I guess
@@tufab3494 Sweden. Our drug laws are so behind.. Even alcohol is controlled by the gov.
When I went to school our textbooks said how cannabis can make you snap and kill your friend randomly lol
When Tres was seizing and started crying my heart broke because I have epilepsy and I know that having seizures is tremendously frightening even as a neurotypical adult.
@@Sarah.Riedel Oceans of love to you from Nevada U.S.A
My heart is breaking for this family. Our country is so horrible to disabled people, it’s a disgrace
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had I seen you guys out some place I would not have ever thought you caused your sons disability. never ever. you have a blessing in your son. God will take care of those thoughtless people who makes rude comments. God bless you.
Tres, you deserve a place in this world. How very blessed you are to have a mother like your mother , who will fight for you. God bless you guys.❤❤
Good old USA, where pharmaceutical companies only care about profits and couldn't care less about human beings. Makes me so sick and angry. Thank goodness for Tres' awesome Mom and how hard she will fight for him. What a lovely family 🫶🙂
The pro-lifers need to step it up
Jerenihallyn4603 ❤
Hospitals are also profit driven!
@@margaretgarana911and the pro choicers do too
I left the US and have no reason to return. My wife and I are much happier in another country
What an incredibly strong, caring, lovely, and passionate mother that Tres is so incredibly lucky to have at his side. This is one of America's great shames. The lack of true social safety nets and the inability to access medical care by working class without being financially devastated is something that should outrage every other person in out nation. In virtually any other state, save a small handful, parents would be faced with giving up a special child like Tres because of the insurmountable burdens that are primarily financial, but also mental and social. In all this I am sure Brandy had no where to turn. No place to reach out to for counseling and support when she needed it the most because this isn't just an issue for Tres, it happens to entire families that are left with no options to get help in coping with the new lives suddenly thrust upon them.
We should all be in awe of Brandy. She has obviously worked so very hard to beat the odds and keep her son in a loving and familiar environment with her, although it has cost her virtually everything. Few people would be able to make the same sacrifices, but the real issue is that Brandy shouldn't have had to make any of those sacrifices. She shouldn't have had to give up a thing. There are simply no excuses for the trials, tribulations, and hardships this family has had to endure. We have the ability to make sure families like theirs never have to suffer in these ways again, but without real change brought about through public outcry things will never change, as there is too great a financial incentive to maintain the status quo for those in the top 10% while the other 90% of us suffer and live day to day, paycheck to paycheck.
The system is beyond broken.
Thank you, I am trying my hardest to help those who follow us, because That is why we were given these fights and these blessings.. It was never right, but I'll do whatever I can, while I can.❤
@@brandynicolejohnson It is really great to see you advocate. You have a truly powerful story that can change hearts and minds. Stay on that path of trying to help the next family that comes along. You and Tres in front of a State House or Senate Committee telling your story would probably go a very long way towards getting better legislation passed all over the country, one state at a time. I hope this video and enhanced visibility opens up a great deal of doors for you and Tres to make an even more massive difference.
very well spoken
Brandy, you are truly incredible. The hardships you have endured I cannot even begin to fathom. Tres is extremely lucky to have you fighting for him when so many others would have given up. Bless you and I hope that brighter days are on your horizon. Keep fighting the good fight, youre a different breed of human!@@brandynicolejohnson
No NHS due to fundamental capitalist greed that wants to turn every human experience into profit. Taking care of others collectively is one of the highest human achievements and this has been turned around into an evil thing and replaced with reverence for greed.
Poor little guy😢 but at least he has an angel his side. His mother has an amazingly wonderful soul!
What an absolute warrior him and his mom are
As a parent of a child with a craniofacial abnormality... I feel her pain and frustration. But, it was my daughter who taught me to ignore the ignorance; and, to appreciate how blessed I am to be her mother ❤
YES, YES, YES!! It is through grace and not anger that we can change things❤❤❤❤❤
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God bless you mommy.
US citizens, tax paying, law abiding parents deserve option to care for their children. Not dictation.
Oh, but those dollars are for Ukraine and to buy weapons to protect democracy.
In Pennsylvania we have the same problems, where family members can get paid to care for their disabled child. It should be national, and it just makes sense.
All US citizens deserve accessible and affordable medical care too but sure, you get what you vote for.
@@jeanieolahfulthey get paid pennies
U can’t support ur family on $12 an hr lol
The US healthcare system is horrible
The disrespect the mother received from the hospital is unbelievable. People are so ignorant. The mother is so awesome, and I wish the best for them both.
How can hospital workers be so ignorant? It's unbelievable..
I'm so proud of you lady you so brave, big up
The vilification of cannabis is ludicrous. I hope other states will make parental caregiving an option like Colorado does, and I hope that Brandy and Tres can be reunited with their family soon.
But how can pharma charge a rent payment for a pill when patients can grow a plant for essentially free?
I believe Oregon does too. In all honesty if she lived here in CA, I'd grow it for her alongside my own. The fact Dr's won't touch him of it shows up in his blood. If cannabis is the only med needed. She needs to reach out to growers, I know folks that will priority ship it to her anywhere in the US any oroduct and ratio blend of thc and cannabinoids. He needs a solid 1 to 1 ratio strain and another thc rich plant loaded in the cbn and cbg category for a solid entourage effect that combats epilepsy and seizure bound users. She desperately needs to reach out find a private grower in the US, it's not hard in Colorado. God I wish I could sit her down and introduce her to a few friends out there that'd do that or here in Cali. She needs to know we do that stuff constantly I've never messed up over 200 orders that priority shipped fine. As well know the THCa loophole and familiarized with legal alternative cannabinoids that flare the same receptors. If she's willing to care for him she should be paid like a nurse, stay home, and use the least harmful most beneficial med available without being treated like a criminal. Ludicrous and I pray that they one day change the caregiving laws. I'm a registered caregiver and have seen families run into similar situations here but because the income amount, just candles out care by parents that would do best for their child but can't and it's a shitty system. I should know work for IHSS.
Forcing it on somebody who can not mentally refuse it is a crime. Oh i give him it because he has 200-300 seizures a day is not an excuse. This poor man has never had a chance at a life and clearly cant even function on his own. He is in constant pain and will only know how painful his life is.
@@johnmayer9373 how do you know he's constantly in pain?
I am special guardian for my Granddaughter who has Autism and FAS…. I remember once taking her shopping with me and a man about 70 said to his wife as loud as u like “look at it, if it was a dog you wouldn’t take it out on a lead…” I won’t tell u what I said but i cert approached him on it.there by the grace of god go is all.
damn, even old people can be garbage.
Thats so sad. God bless you and your granddaughter. There is a special place for people like that and its such a shame. Love overcomes all. How miserable a person like that must be to think that about anyone, let alone a child
That old man will face God one day. If he still alive. I’m sorry if someone said that to you. I had polio from the vaccine when I was a baby and people could be cruel and I just walked funny.
omg I can't imagine that. I might have bit his face off. Bless you and your wonderful granddaughter ❤
Adults are the worst, but for every bad one there are 10 somewhere
I think Tres is being filled with something that brings happiness.
Tres is so special.God will definitely be with him. Prayers for Tres please
I applaud this amazing mother. Her strength is immeasurable.
Tres truly is best off with his mother, she goes to bat for him and doesn't back down in the face of idiots. Why anyone would think an institution is better for him is beyond me.
He might end up in one later if he outlives his mother.
I can’t ever imagine blaming a mother for a disability their child has, has it happened, yes, but to assume that or accuse that without complete accurate knowledge of the mothers life, is Ignorant and extremely unhelpful. I’m so sorry any mom has to go through that kind of judgment. I have a son with a severe stutter whose 14 and I still think back all the time beating myself up, wondering if it was something I did, but of course it wasn’t my fault. No one will question a mother more than she will question herself. Be kind, it goes along way.
Especially from the medical staff. There are SIGNIFICANTLY more considerate ways to pursue the necessary testing. The NICU could have had the maternity ward request that testing prior to her being released, for one, so that when she finally could leave, she could just go see her child. Kindness costs nothing.
Excellent advice! Unfortunately, there seem to be a lot of people who don't believe in unconditional kindness - and who blame mothers (not, apparently, fathers) for children's disabilities. My son is autistic; I've not heard anyone accuse me of taking drugs during my pregnancy (which I didn't do) - but there are people who assume (and directly say) that he's 'spoiled rotten' or that I 'need to smack him' - sometimes just because he can't stand still or speak concisely when trying to ask questions (though the latter could be because he also can't modulate the volume or tone of his voice).
What an incredible mom. You can see the overflowing love she has for Tres. You are a fighter, Brandy!
Oh my gosh, he's got the BEST smile, ever! I bet he gives great hugs, too!
I work for an independent living program for adults with intellectual disabilities. We discovered a loophole in saving money through what is called an ABLE Savings Account. In Massachusetts we too have the ridiculous law that those with disabilities cannot have more than $2000 in their traditional bank accounts because their benefits will be at risk. Fortunately, there are conversations on a legislative level that is working to raise that 🙌
This!!!
Look into an ABLE savings account!
Ridiculous! Imagine caregiver live frugally to save for the disabled person! How terrible!!
We have ABLE savings account in Ohio as well.
@@evelien1352000 barely covers mortgage and utilities for each month in most places. You must think the disabled are abusing the crappy system and you are part of the problem
What this family has gone through is plainly discrimination. The ADA and law needs to be expanded and improved, one size does not fit all. I am grateful that people like Chris exist and are bringing these issues to the attention of the general public. I think most people can recognize that this mom is doing the best for her son and made the right choice for his care.
This is the sweetest mom in history I love her love for tre
I absolutely love how Chris talks to everyone so respectfully and equally. No judgment at all, just a human talking to another human ❤
He does an impeccable job of meeting his interviewees right where they are, with no expectations beyond mirroring their abilities. Chris is a wonderful role model.
Sometimes I question whether it is just a front though. People put up a persona for the camera but might be different in real life.
@@shortycastella that's coming across as a really unkind thing to say about someone who is doing so much good.
@@shortycastella why does it matter .
SBSK; more of these kinds of interviews!!! I’m appalled that this isn’t an issue that’s forefront in current politics. This needs to change!!!
California has really good programs for what you need. My daughter cared for her son who was severely challenged. God bless you .
As a father of a daughter with cerebal palsy…..both me and my wife get paid to stay at home and take care of our daughter….and we live in comiefornia…..my heart goes out to this poor lady and tre’s…..they defenitly deserve respect…….people think nothing of it until they have to walk a mile in our shoes
California's a great state. It's exactly those kind of policies that the GOP targets when it calls our state "commiefornia". GOP calls it " socialized medicine" and "wealth redistribution". It's easy to see why red states have worse health, from infant mortality to life expectancy.
From age 10-18 I took care of children similar to Tres and some much more handicapped (as volunteer from 10-14 then as an employee age 15-18). Never once did it occur to me that the mothers had caused their challenges. This was in the 70s. I worked with dozens over those years. Most were congenital and just a few happened after birth from a heart attack, rat poison, or seizure. It seems bizarre that in this age of easy quick access to information, anyone could be so ignorant still to assume the mother is at fault.
I definitely agree that blaming the mothers is not something that should ever be assumed as sometimes abnormalities are just random, and other times the mothers did not know they were exposing their fetus to something that could cause this. However, there are some druggies out there who do deserve blame. But like I said, it should never just be assumed that this is the cause.
When it comes to hospitals ordering medical histories and drug tests etc, that isn't blame, that is due diligence. The cause of the abnormality needs to be identified for the sake of furthering medical science on the matter.
For example, what if a bunch of other women in her area also started having similar severe abnormalities in their offspring? They would need to have on record that all these cases were not otherwise explained by known substances, so that the environmental factor can be identified and dealt with to prevent more tragedies like this.
😭the mother is very brave and strong i hope they get the respect they desserve and should have!
The USA has a lot to answer for…shame
He’s so quiet!! Both mom and son are beautiful ❤ thank you for sharing Tres with us.
I have a lot of respect for this woman, she’s an amazing mother. God bless her and Tres 🙏🏻❤️
Unreal about the stigma this woman faced upon her literal child’s birth. You can hear in her voice that it still greatly affects her too.
I am a pregnant recovering drug addict who is currently on methadone. I’m shown medical discrimination all the time based on me simply having SUD (substance use disorder). Add in the methadone, and it gets even worse. And then on top of that, now I’m pregnant. And even tho it’s MORE dangerous for me to even attempt to taper off methadone while pregnant, I’m still judged by regular people and some medical providers even. And it’s sad to say bc i shouldn’t have to learn to expect this behavior or deal with it, but I do. Bc of my history. And I understand many people are blessed to not have to understand the horrors of addiction. But see? Stigma like this doesn’t ONLY affect current or former drug users/abusers. It affects “regular” people too. All the more reason to stop looking at drug abuse as a moral failing and instead look at it as a treatable disease. Bc that’s what it is
I feel like it is a legit concern, when it comes to any unusual, new disorders in development, which this here is, to look at the mother and what she used or abused. I mean children were born with deformities bc a pain medication had side effects, which were not known until then, so yeah, other drugs could definitely cause them. You never know and the security of the child should be first and what if she was an active drug user, should they have let her take the child without any check ups on her? Regarding addicts, people do understand addictions, but they will always think, that you willingly started using drugs and "got yourself into this mess" as some would say. Ofc addiction needs to be treated and people have no right to not give you the care you actively seek, but when it comes to societal stigma, I think you need to understand the world more. I am witnessing so many active alcoholics in my surroundings and yes, I judge them, as they are emotionally and physically hurting others around them willingly. There is no reason in this world to abuse anything and hurt others around you bc you are hurting. It's easy to numb your senses, but then reap the consequences. Narcissists and psychopaths also have mental health disorders, but that doesn't mean we need to pity them and ignore the damage they are doing to the world. You might be a lovely person, but many active or ex addicts are not. Medical help, yes, but pretending like they are not at fault or have not hurt others, no.
I wish you good luck! People don't understand it's a real disorder and just how bad addictions can be. I hope you continue to recover. I understand why people are unhappy about your pregnancy but judging you is just more stress for you and that's not good either. You deserve to get better.
It’s not dangerous for you. It’s dangerous for the baby only if you withdraw but you can taper. I was pregnant and on methadone. I couldn’t get below 13mg. My son was born without withdrawing - as I knew he would be. The longer the mother has been on something, the better her body metabolizes it before it gets to the baby. So if a mother gets on methadone while pregnant, her body is not yet able to metabolize it as well and her baby will get some of it and withdraw. The lower your dose, the better. I did so much research before and after. Potential side effects are severe far sightedness. You can look up the studies about it online. If you’re early in your pregnancy - you can taper down! You got this!
Tres, you've got one hell of a MoM!!! ❤😊
@@TaylorAmelia I cannot taper down. I have other health issues that require the methadone. It’s unsafe for me as well. I’m having to increase actually bc I’m going thru withdrawals. Even when symptoms feel mild to the mother, they can be life threatening for the baby.
I've had conversations with his mother before and she is by far one of the most loving and understanding humans. She's amazing and so kind
I'm praying for this lady and her precious son. She is a very good mother and hopefully the legislators can do better in the future. God Bless!
Thank you so much, ❤❤❤
The way the interviewer treats the Mom and her son should be an example of how to be an example of how everyone should treat him and all who are unique and shame on those who disrespected the Mom and especially if they think they are Christian
Tres's mother has been through a lot. She cares for her son, and she stands up to get him what he needs. She is one of the greatest mothers I have heard of. She deserves way more respect and love for what she has done.
We should all be so fortunate to have a mother like her
She is so compassionate, and it isn’t fair what they’ve been through, I’m disabled and medical marijuana lets me function. Good for her for doing what’s right for her kid
This is unconditional love between this wonderful mum and her son. Bless them both
We all need to come together and get a gofundme going through this channel for her and Tres. Get it to the husband so he can send her the money in cash form. If that works, it'll be under the table and she and Tres can have the great life both deserve. SOMETHING has to be done to help her so she can care for Tres with ZERO financial worries and ZERO worries about losing his Medicare.
Chris...I am an Ordained Minister who served for many years as a Nursing Home Chaplain.
However.....I had to stop, because the nursing homes here in the USA are nothing more than warehouses for humans.
When I was in Atwood, Kansas, I pushed back on the horrible way the local hospital and nursing homes were working together to keep elderly people in them, and overmedicated as well. My reward? The State of Kansas used their power, along with law enforcement, and tried to have me jailed for exposing the corruption!!!
Thank you for the struggle
It is both a curse and a blessing that information can now spread like wildfire via the internet. Misinformation spreads just like the actual news. But in the end, secrets of corruption become less and less a secret.
People like you really help, thank you for doing what is right. I am sorry you had to go through so many losses for it. But never stop talking about it. ❤
When Tres was crying from having a seizure, i started crying, too. i can’t imagine having 300-400 seizures a day or being Mom having to see him go through the pain. People can be so cruel, especially so-called “experts.”
Sending much love, happiness, and peace to your family 💗
That was so sad 😢
Thank goodness his mom has the true heart of a parent ❤ 😭 🥰
She is such a strong woman. My heart breaks for the family and what they are going thru by medical professionals and the way government works. Nobody should endure that when things could be so much easier for the family to actually focus on what matters the most, being a family and caring for Tres! That said, I love how Tres is so excited when throwing the stuffed animals and just having fun! ❤
Poor baby, it isn’t fair that this poor child has to deal with this disability. And this guy is such an amazing sweet guy for being an inspiration to these children with disabilities. ❤ Mom you are an amazing mother. ❤
Medicinal cannabis is lifesaving for so many. It should be legal everywhere full stop. What an incredible mum you are!
I'm a pharmacy technician. I handle and dispense lifesaving medications every day. Anti rejection medications, heart medications, diabetes medications, etc... And cannabis should be one of them. Because people like Tres are proof of the profound effect it can have on patients' lives. Seizure meds are great WHEN THEY WORK. But for those patients whose seizures cannot be controlled via conventional treatment, or who prefer not to take them for whatever reason, cannabis should be seen as a valid treatment option for them.
A problem though is that medical cannabis is smoked, right? I definitely have an issue with this because it means that more than just the person who is being medicated can be exposed if it is being smoked, I think. Are there any other prescription drugs which can be dispensed to more than the prescribed person?
@rbdb8953 i worked at a medical dispensary- a place we legally sold medical cannabis to patients with a medical card. Medical cannabis and cannabis in general can be taken in many forms, not just smoked. There are syringes filled with concentrate you can eat directly or bake with, there are tinctures you can take directly or mix with liquid, there are tablets with the liquid inside you can swallow, there are candies, chips, cookies, pretzels you can eat, there are sodas you can drink, smoking is not the only option and hasn't been for more than a decade now, so that's not a good excuse anymore. The only reason it's not legal worldwide is because of either religion or greed, that's it, there are zero logical or solid reasons medical cannabis shouldn't be legal worldwide.
@@dustinsinnett Hi. Thank you for explaining. I'm not against the idea of medical cannabis, but I am opposed to any delivery method that could expose other people at the same time, such as through secondary smoking.
@rbdb8953 I want to apologize first, my response come off very antagonistic and I didn't intend it to. I'm very autistic and regularly come off very rude without intending to so I have my partner proof read my responses to help me alter it so it's not so blunt or rude. He was asleep so I just sent my reply and I apologize if i hurt you at all, I truly didn't intend it.
I’m actually a union representative for the job that this wonderful mother does. I’m actually in California where we also have a program like this in home support services. On a daily basis I have parents family people in the community. Trying to keep this program alive because like she said they want us to put them in institutions, so thankfully, in the state of California, the union that represents them is called united domestic workers, thanks to our union members. We have been able to keep the program for so many years and through so many attempts to cut the budget, I hope in her state they have a similar union because we believe that this program should exist in every state
I am very sceptical of unions usually, but this is one case where I think it does make good sense. Thank you for your work and best of luck. I hope that this can be put in place in every state.
I am so grateful to you. I’m applying to be my son’s caregiver. He is nonverbal and has autism. He’s 3 and was born at 33wks. He had a brain bleed, hole in his heart and was in the NICU for 31 days. I’m fighting hard to even get IHSS because my baby is only 3. He needs total care.
@@nikkibb1998 Contact your local union office. See who repersents IHSS in your county. It will either United domestic workers, which is the one i work at or it will be SEIU. I wish i could pm you to help more but there's no where i can
You’re a great mom and person! My older brother(B.1974)is considered mentally handicapped, he doesn’t read write or talk. My mom hasn’t worked most of her life to take care of him. I’m glad you’re in a paid position at least and found a medicine that helps!!! I hope it’s available more in other states over time.
Very strong mother, you can see she is hurting but still manages to crack a smile
So exhausted by the lack of federal legalization for cannabis.....children like this should have cannabis access in any state. And the ability for family members to be financially compensated for being caregivers would be amazing everywhere!!
also, the government should be paying for his cannabis, however, that will only happen if drug companies manage to take all rights to sell cannabis from everyone else and create a monopoly for their own interest.
Not to bring politics into a fairly apolitical channel, but you can thank conservatives for blocking any legislation relating to freedom involving cannabis.
Tell me how is weed going to help him. This kid has mush for brain. She must have known this before birth...why do this to the poor kid?
@@maxmax-vi2mw I agree, its always the weed addicts spouting this non sense. I'm sure weed is not the only option for anyone.
@@kiwibepper3557he was on multiple medications for years which caused him to have even less control over himself. It is sometimes the only option, it's people like you who only think "weed heads" think cannabis is good for you.
It's literally a natural plant our body is naturally able to consume that as actual medicinal properties proven by science.
It seems like when science doesn't match with your beliefs it's not real😂
OMG THAT WOMAN IS AN ANGEL! We love you Tres! Thank for being so brave and speaking out. The level of systematic dehumanization and disrespect they've been through is infuriating.
{{HUGS}}❤❤❤❤
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You go momma!! Moms know best when it comes to their own children. Im so glad this mom put her foot down and followed what her gut told her. She is a wonderful mother.
Brandy is a complete bad ass of a mother!! I’m so in awe of how she pushed back against these doctors when she knows how authoritative the medical industry can be about children. It’s not always safe to push back. But she did because that’s what was best for her son ❤️
This woman is incredibly kind and strong. Watching how she cared for Tres during his seizure was so heartwarming. Nobody better can take care of him.
What an amazing mother. I can tell by every loving word that comes out her mouth how much she loves that boy. Such a dedicated amazing woman.
Wow, what an eye-opener! Lots of compassion for this family. Thank you!
People can be so cruel. That mother was bullied like if she was in 1st grade
I agree, ableist people are often the most immature
Felt like it too, FR.. lawd.. but we're still here
I am native and a teen mom and I relate to that mom and thr NICU people being judgemental at times. I had a hard labour and required tons more narcotics than we expected. Then when my daughter was born with some breathing issues (due to my mothers second hand smoke) they took her urine to do drug testing without telling me. Can you bet which drugs were positive? The ones THE SAME hospital gave me during labour. They asked me these horrible questions and showed me the positives were literally ONLY the medications given to me 24 hours before for my labour. Once THEY confirmed with THEIR own hospital staff they stopped being rude and mean?! I was like….how do they treat actual addicts then?! Absolutely insane. She sounds like a wonderful mom and person and I hope her and Tres are doing well ❤
What a wonderful mother he has! You can see the love she has for her unique son. Sending love!
I love how you bring these stories so others know how special all these great stories of these great kids with such respect and care. I have followed you and will continue to as you find to stop the way people see others then the great people they are we all deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.
I admire Chris Ulmer so much! The empathy and compassion he expresses toward disabled folks is a rarity; we need more people like him. I also admire the mother for the love she provides to her son and her resilience, as well as Tres's resilience and beautiful soul.
It's a shame that our gov't doesn't care about it's people. This woman should be getting help for her son. I hope there are politicians and congressmen and women out there who will see this and take action.
What an amazing loving woman & mother. Thankful she took the time to share their story. Praying her voice gets heard near & far. 🌺🙏🌺
This woman touched my heart in a special way the patience the love she shows for her child and the way she takes care of him what an amazing person she is!
No he won't go to college or have a career. But he does have a purpose. People like Tres were put on this earth to make the rest of us better people. Tres teaches us to be kind, patient, loving and empathetic, and to enjoy the little things in life each day. ❤
He also teaches us both humility and gratitude. Things that are truly lacking in this digital world right now.
Totally agree
Absolutely spot on perfectly worded. Amen.
It makes absolutely no fiscal sense to only give money for care in institutions, instead of using that money to allow disabled children and adults to get care at home, provided the parents are adequate carers. It makes even less sense that the money first goes through the middle man of the insurance company, who feel free to take a cut of those dollars from the most needy.
The cleanliness and quality of care in these institutions is beyond awful, but the people who run those places love the extra money.
@@DudeWhoSaysDeez The cleaniless and quality of care can equally also be terrible for those that are cared for by their family. Think dementia riddled seniors crusted in their own waste.
aw her voice is breaking down, i can’t imagine the pain she’s gone through. he seems like a sweet lil guy 🩷
Thank you for sharing this story. So much respect for this mother and sending love to them.
Cannabis is one of the only things that helps my pain. It only just became legal for medical reasons in the uk fairly recently. It's been a fight for me, so I can empathise with Tres' mom. Tres, you are an amazing person! I love your smile, its infectious! :D
2018 but they kept it very quiet
In Brazil we are finally seeing flowers get legalized for medical uses (oils and stuff are allowed since 2017 or so). We are currently buying them from the US (both CBD and THCa flowers) but I hope we can grow it here soon
This family deserves respect! Tres is a miracle! He is definitely loved and enjoying life. Tres is also helping so many other children with his life story. Just the effectiveness of his the choice of seizure medications. He’s literally writing the book of surviving with this rare mutation.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I seem to see how beautiful Tres’ soul is and forget about his condition. That’s the magic of this channel. ❤
YASSSSSS❤
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My God, I can imagine the pain the mother is going through dealing with a situation like this. All i can do is pray for this family.
Incredible. What an incredibly enduring individual.
AT least two beuatifull lives featured this video. Who wouldn't want a mother, friend, sister, or wife like Brandy.