What Is Love Bombing and Why Is It Dangerous?
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- Опубліковано 22 січ 2024
- "Love bombing" is a red flag that covers itself with flattery.
You don't know it's happening as you're distracted by all the gifts you're receiving.
It's another manipulation technique that you have to be aware of.
Learn what it is and how people use it to control others.
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#lovebombing #love #bomb #relationships #manipulation #control - Розваги
Yep happened to me recently with a fearful avoidant. As soon as you get too emotionally close they back right off and freeze you out. Hot and Cold!
Same here avodent
That's the pattern.
I’ve been thru this! Two weeks in to the relationship, he was professing his undying love, gifting me every day, monopolizing my time, etc. I tried ending things and he said that I should look within myself because I was throwing away a good man! A good man wouldn’t pressure me so much! I’m glad that I ended it because he was displaying a lot of narcissistic behavior.
Run! Run! Run!
What is the difference between love bombing from a narcissist and someone who has an anxious attachment style, in the early stages of dating? How can I tell which one the person I am currently dating is?🤷♀️ Please help🙏
Love your content💞
You can't tell the difference between someone love bombing for malicious reasons and a person who's rushing due to being anxiously attached if you look at that alone. It looks the same on the surface. It's something you determine by considering subtle patterns, which may take time.
The best thing to do is to slow the relationship down. That way, you can clearly see what you're getting into. You could even tell the other person that you would like to take things slower and how they respond to the boundary is a clue.
To add to my comment above, here's my personal experience.
While dating, I came across 1 person with AP attachment style and 1 narcissist.
_Anxiously Attached_
The AP just seemed like a very eager, clingy person with low self-esteem. I get anxious when I form a connection with a DA who has begun pulling away, so I kind of understand, but this was far more extreme. We still barely knew each other. We were each working remotely and he kept asking to video chat. I told him I couldn't always stop to do that because I was working. If we were texting and I had to pause for an hour or two to check and reply to emails or have a work meeting, there would already be several texts asking where I was by the time I was done.
_Narcissist_
I couldn't bond with him. I always felt he was not good.
Date 1: Something was off. I can't explain.
I knew I didn't like him and didn't want a relationship with him. I saw him again only because COVID had just started (we were the only ones in that restaurant and then restaurants shut down that week) and it wasn't safe to meet new people.
Date 2: He mildly showed anger that I exercised my human right to not have sex. I don't even like strangers to hug me, much less enter me.
Date 3: I realized he was a narcissist. We discussed experiences with bullying. Like the typical narcissist, he was disgusted with me for having been bullied. He asked what my bullies had said (narcissists try to determine your traumas in order to trigger you later), but I didn't answer. In texts after the date, he negged, expressed anger at my boundaries (not having sex, only having one drink and not doing marijuana with him; I rarely drink and don't do drugs), accusing me of toying with him or me "thinking I could have him any time I wanted" for not having the sex. He mocked me and threw back in my face something we discussed that he (erroneously) thought would trigger me. I calmly told him that if he didn't like me, he didn't have to see me again. He switched trajectories and wanted to date again. This was a test to see how much I'd take of his mistreatment and whether I'd retain boundaries. It's to see if you're a good victim.
Later dates: We saw each other a handful of times over a months-long period. He made comments saying he'd corrupt me "and it won't be hard, watch." Me: "Why?" Him: "because the good girl act gets old." He talked about guns, said it was normal to think about what it would be like to kill someone (I was afraid of him at this point), tried to groom me to be his B S D M sub though I'd already said I wasn't into that (people who'd be aroused by my pain and by inflicting it on me disturb me deeply, IDC), triangulate me with his exes (incl. one who died in a car crash) and women in some trash magazine he showed me without consent. He canceled and uncanceled coming over to see me twice each in one night as a test. Between all of this, he preached to me about God, because he was a devout Catholic. He wanted to move in, but I knew a guy like this would kill me in my sleep. He played various cruel games, but it had no effect on me at all as I didn't like or care about him. I can't like someone I know is malicious and dangerous.
I doubt every narcissist is that obvious so quickly. He was actually an intelligent person, but maybe felt comfortable being himself because I have mastered the art of not reacting (due to bullying, I learned to hide emotions and vulnerabilities if necessary). My face didn't show my shock, horror or disgust, and when I did speak to say I didn't like something, I was calm, so he thought it didn't matter.
In an anxious attachment, a person will be more clingy than anything as a means of soothing their anxiety. They tend to text/call a lot and try to connect with you to soothe. The narcissist is all about overwhelming you with gifts and grand gestures so you get distracted.
@@ds37215 thank you D. Sounds like good advice👍
I’ve heard excessive amounts about what Love bombing is, where it comes from, and why.
I’m curious about hate bombing. What about an individual who seems to excessively spew hateful comments and ideas your way, and then even gets a team of other people to join in on the hatred and demoralizing behaviors?
Is that a thing in psychology yet? It’s real.
Gaslighting. Abuse by proxy. Sam Vaknin has excellent podcasts on mental health.
I remember my ex was concerned because I wasn't love bombing her in the dating stage of our relationship. Now I realize it was because she was an AP who needed to be the center of attention.
What's AP?
@@lovewins3321 Anxious Preoccupied.
@@sifublack192 thank you
Is love bombing always an intentional display from a narcissist? Or more unconscious for let's say an anxiously attached individual?
No, it's a specific tactic used by narcissists to make you feel like the most special person in the world so that they can manipulate you. A regular anxious attachment people-pleases to feel safe and connected, and stops doing it when they heal that wound.
Is it still considered love bombing if there is no Malicious intent?
No.
I think there's contradictory opinions on this. IMO, yes it is still love bombing because it is inherently manipulative, even if not conciously intended so.
What does that even mean, your analysis at the end Thais ? 🤷🏻♀️