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The Dismissive Avoidant & The On and Off Relationship
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- Опубліковано 16 сер 2024
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In today's video, Thais Gibson discusses the on-again, off-again cycle in relationships of the dismissive avoidant attachment style. Watch now to learn more about the on and off cycle, why it happens and what to do if it continues as Thais provides useful tips and guidance.
To learn more, explore the transformative course, "How to Repair Any Relationship", for powerful tools you can begin using immediately on your journey!
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00:00:00 - Intro
00:00:44 - What is the On & Off Dynamic
00:03:46 - The 2 Stages of a Relationship
00:07:01 - What Happens If This Cycle Continues
00:07:54 - What To Do
00:09:32 - If You're On the Receiving End
00:12:12 - 7-Day Free Trial: How To Repair Any Relationship
00:12:32 - Conclusion
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Hey there! I'm Thais Gibson, and this is the channel where I teach you how to transform your life.
I created the Personal Development School, an online learning platform that gives users the ability to create true and long-lasting change in their lives through personal development courses that are designed to give you a breakthrough in every area of your life, with a 99.7% satisfaction rate.
Our UA-cam videos give you a glimpse into this in-depth course content. Much of what you'll learn here is based on your attachment style and how that affects the relationships you have with your family, friendships, and of course, your romantic relationships.
So what are you waiting for? This could be the start of your personal development journey. Subscribe to our channel and start watching!
#PersonalDevelopmentSchool #ThaisGibson #PDS #AttachmentStyles #DismissiveAvoidant #DismissiveAvoidantAttachment #DismissiveAvoidantCourse #AvoidantAttachment #AvoidantAttachmentStyle #DismissiveAvoidantBreakup #DismissiveAvoidantDeactivating #DismissiveAvoidantComeBack #DatingAvoidant
Conflict presents an acute risk to the safety of relationships with avoidants. Avoidants need to stay in control and, however unconsciously, giving ground for them would upset the balance of power, which can be too torturous a position. They find it very hard to think like a team as they innately view this as dangerously giving up part of themselves. While they may believe they want relationships in theory, in practice they experience regular aversion to their partner - no stronger than when inevitably faced with issues or forced to confront emotions, which means they are much more at risk of walking away. Partners often sense this, which creates a problematic power imbalance in conflict, when both are not showing up with equal desire to move towards resolutions and to make the relationship work as a team.
In relationships, withdrawing from conflict is also a subconscious distancing strategy. Conflicts are often left unresolved because the resolution itself often brings a couple closer together - a scenario that, however unconsciously, the avoidant person wants to avoid. Failure to negotiate is a strategy to block intimacy.
I like that you started the ‘what to do’ with what the avoidant can do 😊sometimes it feels like a lot of videos are about what the partner or ex of an avoidant can do
This video came out just in time for me... how odd, yet serendipitous
Good morning, Thais. Can your team make a video about Aspergers being mistaken as Avoidants?
Ohhhh that would be a good video. I can fully understand how the the two could be confused.
Yes!
Yes, excellent request.
Omg this
But you can definitely be both btw
@yanamclaughlin1644 I think I have a Aspie Fearful Avoidant on my hands. I feel like I'm about to go insane.
One of the viewers requested a video about Asperger's syndrome being mistaken as avoidant attachment. I think this a very good request and an important subject.
I am 59 years old. About 20 years ago I started to believe I had Asperger's (but never professionally diagnosed). One of my relatives in my parent's generation even commented that based on my behavior as a child, they thought I had Asperger's.
After a series of troubled and failed relationships in my life, I started to read books and subscribe to UA-cam channels about attachment theory. The description of a dismissive avoidant fits me perfectly right down the middle.
But which am I ? Asperger's or dismissive avoidant, or both ? Are they related ? Are they one in the same but diagnosed from different perspectives ? I would like know.
Thais, if you are reading, please address this subject matter. Also, thank you for the work you do on this channel. What I have learned here has turned my life around. Better late than never.
Hello, I am not a therapist, but perhaps the "Asperger" you are refering to might be what we called today as level 1 autism. Do some research on it and see if it makes sense to your case. Asperger Syndrom is an outdated nomeclature for it.
This is so helpful. Thank you.
Your videos are amazing. Every word so packed with great educational information. You are so lovely to learn from. Thank you so much for these videos 🌸🙏🏻
Been NC for three months with a girl that I dated for five months. Her previous relationship from a few years back was a two year on and off again long distance relationship with a guy who would cheat on her. Everything was going good up until the night that I met her younger brother. Literally the next day there was a shift and within a few weeks she discarded me. After learning about avoidants, it all makes sense.
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
@tbahama what does it have to do with the brother?
How come me and DA have been on and off for 2 yrs....but I remember the first 3 months we got sooo close and he deactivated many times ..but now I see him once every 2 weeks and he semms he is doing well but I am also distancing myself bc he may end it at any time
Thanks for your videos Thais
My on-again off-again DA female partner literally fulfills my every relationship need in the first 4 months we rekindle. The only time she doesn’t is when she detaches and “swears nothing is wrong” until she initiates a break up after flaw finding at around the six month mark. I just learned that she’s a DA (And subsequently learned my own abandonment core wound as an SA) after this most recent break up. It’s been three months and the communication is picking back up like it always does. This woman is my person and I know it in my heart. What do I do to move forward successfully here in out?
Make her conscious of everything you just said
Do these same priciples apply for friendships?
Yes it does because we look at friendships the same way as we would with a partner. Even though the friends are dating it's still the same.
@@Gabriel-ws2ez My question was not about a dating relationship, it was about same sex friends.
@@BB-ct4dt it is with also with friends too, there are many things that happen between friends as a relationship they can even have the same effects on family as well. Fighting, getting into a disagreement seeing how the other one reacts. Arguing, feelings for the person any kind of problem.
Crazy land
Thais you have a beautiful face with big eyes. I think your original face without any make up, especially the eyebrows, would be more beautiful and natural. There is no need to highlight something that is already your strength and beauty!
I'm guessing she likes the way she looks or she wouldn't put herself together that way. She's stunning just as she is.