Louis Theroux's Struggles With Intimacy And Socialising
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- Опубліковано 12 вер 2024
- Louis Theroux opens up about his struggles with intimacy and socialising.
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• Louis Theroux: "The Th...
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📖 From his recent global TikTok fame to his BAFTA award-winning documentaries Louis Theroux has delighted audiences and grown a cult following with his distinctive brand of personality. Best know for his documentary series ‘Weird Weekends’, and ‘When Louis Met……’ Louis has explored the most controversial subjects with wide eyed curiosity and openness.
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Really nice to hear someone discussing the struggle of being an introvert
Its no struggle for me, I like it
@@bobg1069Same, I like it too, but I didn't always feel like this. I remember very clearly the evening I gave myself permission to not feel guilty or anxious about leaving a relatively fun party early. This horrible feeling of being different always accompanied me on my way out of events or whenever I refused to attend a meeting or a party. That evening I realised that by listening and respecting who I was and what I wanted, I was actually being quite loving to myself. This was such a liberating moment, and everything changed after that. These days, everyone understands that sometimes I say yes, sometimes I say no, and there's nothing wrong with that. Nobody takes it personally anymore. Colleagues at work regularly come over to my desk and ask "would you like to join us or are you introverting today?". Either answer I give is always fine, and there's never any sense of weirdness around it. And if there is, I never notice it because I don't care 😁 But as I said, it hasn't always been this way.
The way he is talking here, you know he hasn't really planned any of these answers. He's picking his words carefully but not for the sake of the interview but for the sake of expressing himself as transparently as he can.
That weird synth at the begining was a bit much.
Yeah weird and ridiculous
I though it was super rad bro
Very very bizarre
Haha
Hahahaha
Louis has an incredible vocabulary and grasp of the language, he expresses himself really well, you can tell he was born into a literary family, a great way with words even when he seems to be floundering
It’s the way he was socialised and nurtured. He grew up on books and the vocabulary, sentence structure, grammar and prose of the books he grew up reading furnished his language and thought. He also attended an excellent private school and Oxford University in addition to be middle class where there native english is more standardised rather colloquial as seen with the working class.
@@TerryStewart32 Quite simply, his upbringing was privileged.
@@csharpe5787 exactly which has furnished and groom his mindset from birth that he walks and breath middle clsss privilege and aura in a way that Andrew Tate can never despite his enormous wealth and nouveau rich lifestyle which is frowned upon by old money
@@csharpe5787 not necessarily, he was just a reader. there are public libraries you know, there’s no excuse for poor literacy skills, regardless of “privilege “
Oh absolutely. He family is replete with writers and novelists. Justin Theroux is also his cousin.
i can relate to this guy so much. socialising and conversing with people does not come natural to me either.
That has surprised me. He's very good at hiding his social anxiety. He's kind of known for having awkward conversations and holding awkward silences.
As soon as he started talking about this I thought social anxiety. I have it too and tend to keep to myself. I'm also introverted and feel drained after around 4 hours with people.
I don't mind being around people but need my space and peace and quiet
@@amandam480 me too, I do like mixing and talking with people but only up to a point it still drains me somewhat, extroverted people just don't understand why I don't want to socialize with them, it's not that I don't like them it's just that I need lots of alone time
It makes sense that people who don’t inhabit others emotions completely good at getting others to open up. Specifically; they are forced to draw the subtext or context out of a situation which others might read or infer
Great observation.
I can really relate to Louis on this. I have the same issue of where I'm very good at my job, but not good at socialising with people, specifically in regards to romantic relationships, since I have no experience with that and choose not to get experience. I'm a very reserved individual who likes to keep myself to myself.
Me too bro
@@JTBCP It's hard 😪 isn't it
You are certainly not alone on this mate! I am the same and know many others who are, I work in recruitment but yet, socializing in my own time, I just seem to go into myself and genuinely rather stay at home and keep myself to myself but have started small steps to do things which scare me or find hard and know over times, we can break these walls down but just takes alot of time and work.
@@samshingler8186 I know. I understand
Same, But am also lonely and really want a girlfriend especially. Also have no particular passion for any work in particular. And my interest in self developing and skill based hobbies leaves so quickly. It hurts my brain tbh a lot of the time
Louis' discussion about this topic is 100% relatable, Personally I'd say, in all honesty that a lot of women also experience this too, myself included, I'm not intelligent, but I do have introversion tendencies/characteristics.
i think the fact that louis is reserved and not present in personal life is a reflection of why he dove in head first with his line of work.
Steven Bartlett is literally out here interviewing all the greats, love it! 💚💯
I feel exactly the same which is weird because I was dreading going to a wrap party a while ago because I knew Louis Theroux would be there and the thought of meeting someone I admire so much made me so anxious. Somehow reassuring that he probably didn't want to be there either.
Honor your introversion. You have the balance already. Full self love and acceptance...go for it.The world will adapt...believe me
I love this interview and the idea of superpower and weakness being the same thing is an interesting thought.
It makes me think that the superpower that makes me technically good (IT and comms) and a good Programme Manager is also the kyptonite that triggers something in my boss to remind me that I need to ask how my team are doing and to be less analytical and more sympathetic when they have an issue. I think the people who work for me are great and I would help them in anyway I could but unless they say they have a problem its not obvious to me to ask them.
Empathy
I can relate to everything he says. I have to push myself to do social things, I wish i was one of those people who loved socializing, I think life would be so much easier. I wouldnt class mysef as an introvert at all, i just don't like social occassions.
That makes perfect sense: that he peels other people's layers back, and then retreats from tending to his own.
As a person living with Autism, this is so relatable. Amd holds true for most high functioning autistic people most especially those living with Asperger's syndrome
I'm INFJ (textbook, hehe. Both the best, and worst, thing) and I find Louis very attractive (theoretically...I mean, it's not like I know him!) For me, intimacy only comes after having established that I find the other person interesting on an intellectual level, and that they are emotionally intelligent (for want of a better expression). I'm never ever attracted to someone based purely on their outward appearance, even when I can see they are beautiful.
Hes an INTP, so you would be somewhat compatible
I'm left wondering if Louis is somewhere on on the ASD spectrum, nothing wrong with that, he just comes across like he is observations of his interview in style and the way he communicates with others.
His behaviour sounds pretty normal to me?
I know what you mean, to me though he’s just highly intelligent and over analytical. Despite his intelligence, he’s still a victim of the spotlight effect, if stopped over thinking he’d realise not to care so much if he realised how seldom others cared about him, he wouldn’t feel so anxious. People have their own stuff going on Louis, they really aren’t that concerned with you. It’s just ego…
i was just thinking that, ive always thought it bc autistic ppl can tell when others have it too sometimes
I was thinking the same...ADD/ASD.
Yes I wondered the same .
I'm an introvert, creative, practical...I favour solitude
I like my dog I like drinking tea. My head is full of cartoons that I can't draw...that's me.
I like his honesty. And not having those things is what makes him excellent at his job.
such a gentleman is Louis
He just sounds like an introvert. That event would have the same effect on me, the thought of all those people in one room and having to converse would make me anxious and I'm female.
Louis is a classic introvert. I am myself. Many men are
And women are too. However, just as introverted men often have to pretend to be more confident than they actually are, introverted women are expected to be more social and extroverted. Masking is really tiring.
@@toomuchinformation totally agree, it's so difficult and unauthentic.
I'm an introvert myself and honestly feel like this is a big conflict we face. As I've gotten older I've realised that I am happier just being myself, and if people don't like it then no big deal. Don't change yourself for people
'I don't want to do this, I am not feeling this' is my most used phrase 5 minutes before a social event or plan to my partner 😂
His awkwardness makes he really watchable...great documentaries
I agree. I always thought that he was putting on this awkward persona for his documentaries, and that he was much more relaxed and confident in real life. It's quite refreshing to know the opposite is true. He seems more real to me now.
Fuckin love me some Louis Theroux
Fascinating, thank you, I found great insight into myself watching this.
It’s funny because listening to Louis and reading the comments I can relate to a lot of what he says, but in a very different way. If you met me you’d probably come away thinking I’m an extrovert, confident and good with people, good at making friends and socialising. I’m a qualified teacher and now work in housing because that work-life balance wasn’t for me but this role is a CX focussed role so lots of teamwork, working for people and talking to people, it’s a senior role so lots of planning, board meetings, dealing with comms partners etc. But in actual fact I hate socialising, I’m a terrible friend to have because I never call, never text, never meet up. I can’t book a hair appointment or doctors appointment etc without shaking and spending a good half hour staring at the phone to pysch myself up for it. I make a terrible romantic partner because I struggle to be close with people, struggle with intimacy and need my own space a lot. I’m not sure what to do about that. I’d like work me to share the best of her people skills with actual me and actual me to tell work me that you can say No and still be respected and good at what you do.
His father is a brilliant and prolific author of travel books and fiction. I can understand why he would be an intimidating act to follow.
reminds me of my tism
If you bought some better mic stands and improved the mic position (to less of a sharp angle) it would make the speaker's voice sound a lot fuller and less sibilant.
The sound of this current setup, where you're speaking above the mic at an angle of 45 degrees, is quite tiring to listen to. Sorry to criticise but I think it would make a big difference.
Very Relatable Louis!!
That's interesting yeah, I have that thing with emotions too and I have an interest in other people. Maybe it's because it's to fill a hole in yourself and trying to change yourself can be like trying to fit a square block into a circle hole. Being able to escape yourself and inhabit someone elses psyche could make a good escape
Lovely to hear I’m not alone in this…
Always watched Louis and admired his style..you never gonna have it all x
Well. I had a dream that Louis was my husband and a quite attentive one. I was moved by this dream so much so that I started binge watching his documentaries, fantasizing that he was as attentive in our imaginary marriage as he was with the subjects of his films. I suppose it makes sense now that it was quite foolish to make the presumption that I could have competed with the colorful characters that he’s had the privilege to interview. Whoops.
Interview makes me realise there are two types of people- those that know 'One Headlight' and those that don't.
Rich celebrity complains to his beautiful wife and loving family about having to go to a banquet... Forgive me for not caring
I usto be hooked on
Louis Theroux
Docos
Theeeee BEST ❤
Wow almost a life or death musical moment. Louis you have 5 minutes to undetonate this bomb
It hurts everyday that I can't get any dates or meet anyone, I really need a good counterpart
I'd absolutely love 2 hours to tidy my shed also Louis
Omg I relate so much
It sounds exactly like me, who i am and how i feel in this world 👍
Louis the OG
It's not crass to say women are better at socializing than men, that's almost every species of mammal.
Where are we when being innately exhibiting common male trates is inherently negative somehow?
I really enjoy listening to Louie. Sadly, I can really relate to him in this clip lol
I love louis theroux
Is Louis neurodivergent? I never thought about that before, I’m just simply in awe with his work and him as a documentary maker. But hearing him speak here right now, and I just started to wonder. He suddenly sounds like he could be part of the neurodivergent gang. 🤔
I'm with you guys, socialising is over rated.
I feel less alone now
I'm an autistic woman and aaahhhhh this is very very me
wow I guess on TV his editors are really doing some heavy lifting huh
Likely ASD
the interviewee is just cleverer than the interviewer, which never bodes well.
Looking through my lens: Louis thinks if nipples and starts gesturing at 0:33 😅
Louis gives of very strong ADHD or ASD vibes
What is ASD
@@jackryan3487 autism spectrum disorder
@@jackryan3487 autistic spectrum disorder
@@jackryan3487 astonishing sexual desire
He does when he’s getting interviewed at least. I’ve watched every single one of his documentaries and it’s hard to put into words how he asks exactly what we all want without offending/making the person mad most the time.
If solace was a verb. That’s what he does talking to people.
he's just like me omg
It would be funny if Louis was a secret psychopath 🧐
He's an empath
He’s got slight Asperger’s
Needs to sort that sideburn out.
Maybe stick to videos with people who have shorter sideburns, if content is not really the issue.
That intro music doesn't fit with Louis' vibe at all, haha
Lots of 'raised inflection'
Don't blame you Louis, stick to the animals, you'll be safer with them! Unless it's a man eating predator, so just like them from afar!!
⭐
like he’s actually very confident but feigns being sheepish…
Wow! This is interesting. And I'm a bit gutted. I need to hear him out, of course, but 'you knew what I was when I married you'? What did he want to be after the kids were born? Sounds like he wanted to be the same... like every other man on the planet? Gutted
Yes definitely on the spectrum
ye no shit 😂
On the spectrum? Welcome to the club.
He is so about the big stage, such a phoney
Yes, it is just being a man. There's nothing wrong with what you are, Louis. Men live in logic, women live in emotions. No judgement about either. It's just the way it is.
My son and wife are autistic and bet my bottom dollar Louie is too, has he ever looked into it? He mentioned neuro typical so assuming he’s aware he’s neuro diverse??
My cousin is on the spectrum, and I might be too, I did take an official test and it did advice me to go check it out if I hade it. But I have social anxiety, and avoidant personality disorder and I am also bipolar, and so unless I am misdiagnosed I figured maybe my anxiety made me score so high. Anyway, I love louis I think he's so funny and charming and cute, but I can relate, and so maybe if I am on the spectrum maybe he is too, and like you said you see people on the spectrum and think of him might being on it so yeah
Who cares????
I find Louis Theroux so creepy
Well he did hang around with Jimmy saville after he told him that he tells people he doesn't like children to "throw them off the hunt". In other words, once Jimmy told him he was a pedophile.
All so boring
It’s dry, which is slightly different.