"fear of abandonment, unstable relationships, instability and insecure self image, intense mood swings, stress related paranoia" I dont appreciate this near perfect description of me, "intense clinginess" i literally hang off of my friends, "dependant or avoidant tendencies" i self isolate a LOT.
I can get sooo clingy yet at the same time be so determined to push ppl away, ghost, or disappear. Still don't know if I have BPD, CPTSD, or if it's just a combination of depression and anxiety
@@codeswift27 real, I also has Autism which in some ways can be very similar to bpd. It almost feels like I'm developing it but it could be the a million and one other things going on ;-;
I thought I had BPD but then I found out ADHD has a lot of the same symptoms, and it gets a lot worse if you're sleep deprived. I was at the time. I've since been diagnosed with ADHD so people might want to look into that too because the mood swings, insecurity, and other shit can come from adhd and bouts of depression come from a lack of sleep and adhd sufferers have a lack of sleep often
OMG! Thank you so much for your comment! I've been thinking about wether I have ADHD for a long time. Never wanted a diagnosis because in highschool everyone around me who got diagnosed used it as an excuse for their shitty behaviour and I didn't want that possability for me. Many symptoms of insecurity and BPD clicked with me but I'm generally pretty confident. I really noticed lately my anxious thoughts, insecurities, etc. Have skyrocketed since haveing to do long distance with my first ever relationship (started 5 months ago). And ot is exactely as you say, sleep deprivation and tiredness makes my negative emotions and fears so much worse!
What triggers mood swings? Perhaps this concept which is closely related to ADHD; Symptoms of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (when criticism hurts) - Being easily embarrassed - Heightened fear of failure - Unrealistically high expectations for self - Assuming people don't like you - Avoiding social settings - Perfectionistic tendencies What triggers RSD? Everyone's RSD triggers are different, but they may include: - being rejected or thinking you're being rejected, like not getting a response to a text message or email - a sense of falling short or failing to meet your own high standards or others' expectations - being criticized for something you can't control
I relate to most diagnosis of ADHD, except for snapping. Im very Young, and my mom tells me I don’t have it, so I diagnosed myself. I have nothing to treat it with, so I treat my ADHD as a cycle.
A therapist I had once described BPD as "PTSD without a source". Which makes you wonder, if the doctors don't KNOW of the source of your distress, could some cases of BPD actually be PTSD?
We do know the source(s): 1- Genes, there is a hereditary component, iows, nature loads the gun, nurture pulls the trigger. 2- Kernberg's second developmental task, overcoming splitting, those with BPD failed that task in early childhood, that's one of the nurture parts, aka, toxic environment, part of the trigger pulled, brain might or might not go neurodivergent on its own without abandonment trauma. 3- Add abandonment trauma(s) and the trigger is fully pulled most of the time ( but not always ) if #2 is true, brain takes a different developmental path into neurodivergence -> BPD.
There’s always a source, that’s the start of it. I’ve had BPD for 20yrs and CPTSD, they are separate things. So, yeah, that person is talking out their arse.
I know someone with BPD, I wouldn't wish that on my worse enemy. It's so weird, because it's almost like you can actually mentally distiguish between the person themselves and the disorder. It's like it's something that doesn't actually integrate into their personality. I'll call the person Bob. In Bob, I see a person that had a lot going for them. A capable, polite, intelligent, well meaning person. Then, if some mystery random event takes place, like perhaps 50 miles away some wind blew a leaf wrong, something just happens, and Bob becomes pure evil. He will say and do whatever he can to harm is target in any way, believing himself to be justified, and that the target of his anger is responsible for everything bad that has ever happened to him. Bob tends to apologize later, but what Bob misses is that people aren't actually upset or personally offended by his behavior, they are simply stunned and confused by it. I don't think Bob realizes that his fights with people do not make sense to anyone and look utterly bizarre. Apologies are accepted out of concern. If you haven't experienced this, it's hard to explain. These aren't normal confrontations or arguments. This isn't a perpetually angry guy who is short with people or unapproachable. He comes off as relatively normal and agreeable, until whatever sets him off happens. I haven't heard from him in a few years. He isn't friends with anyone anymore and he does not speak to his family. The story didn't end well, but hopefully it will in the future. I wish this was something we could just pull out of a person's brain, because I can tell you right now, you can see what the person is really like without the affliction so clearly in this case. BPD is the actual mental disorder that characterizes Jeckyll and Hyde.
Really it will be painful for him after he stops being angry, but the person should not feel hopeless no matter what his problem is and every year you are a problem that has a solution or even ways to manage anger and emotions and support from the surrounding people who are crazy to understand the situation
"Jeckyll and Hyde." When we are triggered, amygdala is hijacked - and of course our brain will not have full plethora of personality traits available at disposal. In Dysregulation - only basic persona trait set is available. This is not sickness nor abnormality, this is how brain works. Most people who never experienced hysterical authority figures in childhood know how to regulate themselves and then they appear "normal" and without mood swings - not because they are normal, but because they never were imprinted with mentally ill untreated psychopath's behavior in childhood.
@@ranc1977 Completely true or we can represent for her the person who was programmed in a certain way where he acquired behavior based on his previous programming and the other who was left without exposure to any programming i.e. naturally without any interventions or effects
@@gafer8808 I would be careful with identifying what is our behavior and what is programming. People tend to label their fawning and shyness as abnormality and scapegoat it as a reason for being abused. This belief leads to toxic shame, self blame, mental illness and personality disorder. We need to understand that what we see as programming, and I personally call it "hypnosis" while in reality it is Operant Conditioning - that this a natural reaction to abuser and someone untreated mentally ill, someone who is evil and abusive and predatory. It is coping mechanisms that we were coerced into becoming. Otherwise we were tormented and psychologically and physically abused all the time, through set of punishments and Negative Reinforcement. This is crucial to understand - because if we do not understand that it is Coercive Control - we will tend to self blame ourselves and then over-compensate and build fake persona who appears strong and defensive - which ends up as hysterical Karen and being abusive. Then we pass trauma onto the next generation, like a generational curse. It is important to realize to validate ourselves, validate our reactions to abnormal people and abnormal situations. As oppose to have fantasy about becoming "strong". We already are strong. All we need is self validation and self acceptance in order to build our Self, our identity and our persona - without being coerced by toxic evil monsters - psychopaths and narcissists around us. - "Any attempt to dictate what thoughts, feelings, and sensations are proper or improper creates a breeding ground for guilt and shame" Peter Levine
@@ranc1977 Yes, I agree with you. Coercive behavior is a defensive, natural mechanism to protect oneself from harm from those around people, for every action there is a reaction, also self-blame is not good because it is basically forced behavior and not optional, accepting oneself to help it to build oneself is the best solution, really great words I really benefited from this talk thank you
CBT is a mystery to me. I tried it and I had no idea what emotion I was feeling or what triggered it. It's like being colour blind. However I recognise rage and sadness as they are constant companions. Life is strange and unpleasant.
CBT is ableist therapy, it is narcissistic abuse in medical industry, created by narcissists and psychopaths who like domination, control and manipulation of weak targets, someone who seeks genuine help for debilitating states and then they make money profit with misdiagnosis and wrong explanations. Think of CBT like Trump being smart enough to finish medical school so he is now director of medical industry in America, that is what who runs CBT and DSM, a mentally ill psychopaths who are evil to the core. CBT ought to be banned.
Same here. For the longest time I thought I couldn’t possibly have BPD because I didn’t think I was having emotion lability but that was because I couldn’t figure out what I was feeling. Later discovered it was a lot of rage and despair.
I honestly think I have discouraged BPD. I feel like my world is crashing down when that feeling hits. I can't make out anyone's intentions or feel my sense of control. It's like opening up a can of worms, and I just want to self isolate. I don't know what to say to others. In that moment I'm not okay and in return you're not okay with me either.
A psychologist will help you through with therapy & counselling, a psychiatrist will just give you medication to control it… it’s a process to learn how to manage yourself and unlearn some habits we’ve ingrained in ourselves so it’s better to seek a psychologist
it’s so weird, i have like all the symptoms of quiet BPD, but i cant tell if it’s just my anxiety, adhd, and depression in one. the main thing i’ve been looking for with the BPD is my mood swings, my mood will change a lot throughout the day, there’s obviously triggers, but the littlest things put me in a bad mood for hours. and then i’ll go into these holes for days it’s really confusing
For a while now, I’ve been convinced my father has undiagnosed BPD, and similar patterns have emerged in my mother and I over the years, possibly from prolonged exposure to his chaotic mindset.
@@Psych2go I believe they’ve both discussed it with each other in private, though not sure if/when they’ll opt for a formal diagnosis at this stage (possibly in light of the challenges and stigmas I’ve faced in their push for a definitive diagnosis of what’s “wrong” with me, and wanting to avoid similar hardships and societal invalidation on top of their already existing mess of life dramas). Either way, it’s ultimately their call; all I can do is keep focussing on my own healing journey, striving to get my life on track and distance myself from this cycle of volatility, which is easier said than done on multiple levels… 🫤
I've been going to a therapist for a while and reached really far. Yet i feel like there's something missing for me to be able to move on and fight it. I would like to request/suggest a video about ways to gain/improve your self-esteem... Hint for anxious people like me: try to do intense-focus tasks like reading. Your mind you try to fill any gaps you left why random things and stuff you don't need to even solve at that time, causing you to overthink. And yes... being an overthinker is not bad, but ya need to know that sometimes the best option is to adapt to the situation. Don't let the "what will happen next" bother you that much.
Recently I've been diagnosed with BPD, and something I noticed was, before, whenever I'd be talking to someone about my social anxieties, they would always respond to me as if I was speaking in a self deprecating way. They'd say things like "you're too hard on yourself" and it didn't help because I didn't really have a problem with myself, I felt like they had a problem with me and I felt threatened, and responding to me as if I was having a problem with confidence only made me feel like there was something wrong with me that I'm not noticing and they were just trying to be nice about it. But I realized that lack of confidence is probably just the more reasonable reason to feel socially anxious, and my feelings that people might turn on me and possibly attack me for reasons I don't understand might not be the most relatable feeling
As someone with BPD, I find no stigma in the name. In Britain they call it “emotionally unstable personality disorder”. That name has WAY more stigma to it. I would run away from a person if they told me “ I have emotionally unstable personality disorder”. BPD sounds subtle.
@@ranc1977 there is quite a difference. I would just like to see a well done video on the overlaps and differences. I was diagnosed with BPD and never actually met the criteria fully, it was just CPTSD presenting itself similarly.
@@ranc1977 sorry, I had replied multiple times and it had not gone through and only realised now. The biggest difference between BPD and CPTSD is that one is innate, and one is learned, meaning that it can be unlearned. There are many overlapping symptoms and qualities, though it has been proven that CPTSD is not a subset of BPD nor PTSD, but rather can exist comorbidly. There are a few great recent articles online explaining the differences and why they could be seen as similar, and some wonderful books by Pete Walker on CPTSD specifically.
@@LittleMissJenn Then it gets complex - no pun intended because: There is Quiet BPD - which is not like BPD, Quiet BPD is hardly recognized and it is often missed and misdiagnosed as something else..
I don't feel empty, inadequate or depressed I am it, I am empty, I am inadequate and I am depressed that there is litterly nothing i can do about it. Ive worked on this for better part of 45 years and theres no way to feel un empty, adiquate or undepressed it must just be left to fade away.
I absolutely hear and agree with you. I have been battling my demons for over 30 years that I know of, pre-diagnosis of Cronic depression and CPTSD. Im 55 and in reality I look back and see that I have been fighting this battle before I knew I was even in a battle. My 30 years of constant therapy and mental health programs has done little more than keep me alive. But once i am triggered all i can think about is how I should not be alive. And that there’s nothing for me in this world. Even when I’m okay, I never feel like I truly belong on this earth. It’s so hard and it’s hard to explain to anyone. No one sees what Im trying to say. Or they just don’t want to go there with me because it’s all to hard. I have no one really!
@joannesmith4444 I hear ya! CPTSD is similar to what I have, but defenetly not the same, which is BPD. You wouldn't want that! I'm in my early 60s and have been trying to figure this out since I was 16. If I'm really honest, I can remember feeling empty at age 2 in my highchair, I thought to myself...''is this it!?" Then I saw something like an invisible outline of a man that said...''This is no place for kids.'' I'm fortunate for the assistance I get from whoever this is because they've saved my ass more times than I can recall. Look back and make a list of what positives this emptiness has brought you as well as the negatives. They are there! For instance, my positive is that because I'm so fk'd up, my government gave me a disability pension and a beautiful unit to live in with very cheap rent, I walk along the beach looking g at the tents full of homless and think how fortunate am I to be so fk'd up and given a home for free and safe, warm and dry at night.
@@iamthatiam44444 Wow! You got a place to live at an affordable price, that’s awesome. I am on a disability pension too but the Australian government doesn’t help us or anyone else for that matter with housing. What Country are you from?
In my life, Im been diagnised as having Borderline Personality Disorder. Ive also been diagnosed with AAD, ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, Major Depression, (I swear this is a real quote) "God's own personal rage control issues", and (thanks to my most recent therapist) PTSD. Honestly, I dont know whats wrong with me. I just want it to stop hurting. I want someone to care enough actually do things with me.
@1unsung971 Please spare me the recitation of lessons from the Princess Bride School of Psychology. There's only so much "manning up" a person can do before that person decides that the taste of a gauge hurts less than the rest of the world. Maybe I'd prefer to not reach that particular threshold again.
@siqxyre8473 I'm aware. I'm currently being medicated for Bipolar Disorder, but my current therapist is working on her diagnosis of PTSD being the underlying problem and other things being misread symptoms. I only go through the full list to provide an example of the level to which, no matter how much people in this field want to help others, this is, at best, an inexact science.
I’ve felt this way since i have consciousness, I've been seeing a psychologist for 2 or 3 months and I still don't dare tell her about this. I feel like my mind is pretending all this for some reason, my excuse is that I'm a teenager. But it worries me so much that I don't understand what the hell is going on in my head and every day it drives me crazier and crazier
Thank you so much, I always get really angry and depressed and forget how much positives there are in my life.. appreciate it.. and your voice does turn me on.. but is just non judgemental and I am grateful for your understanding..
Looks like I am the textbook definition of quiet borderline personality disorder… I've already been diagnosed as such, this just a firms it. Thank you for this video
Ya, males have a very hard time getting taken seriously, been 6 yuears and I'm still struggling to get an official daignosis. 10 years since I started but 6 years since I've known it was quiet bpd. The gaslighting and runarounds I've gotten from the stigma is insane. Then, covid hit on top of it all, what a nightmare, then I was homeless for 3 years. Let's say it's been a rough, decade... well, life really.
i have BPD, but for the longest time, i didnt understand why i only had BPD symptoms with certain people. turns out i had 2 of the personality disorders that seem like polar opposites. schizoid and borderline. with family and romantic partners i very clearly have BPD, but with most other people its the complete opposite.
@@existentialchaos8 it's weird, it's like 2 distinctly different personalities. With most people, like friends and associates, I just feel really indifferent and no desire to partake in social activities or maintain the relationship. But with romantic relationships and family i get really attached, anxious, emotionally volatile, and so on. It's not something I can really control, it's just like I get bombarded with extreme uncontrollable emotions. Anger, depression, even get quite possessive. Anyway there's a lot more to it, but as a summary you could say my really close relationships are very volatile and fragile, while the rest are very surface level.
@@existentialchaos8 schizoid i don't really "cope" I just tell people that I don't feel particularly enticed to deal with them. BPD I don't really know, Ive taken meds. I've had periods where I drank and smoked a lot. It's not things that I recommend, but sometimes it feels like there's only hurt and pain. Maybe more positive ways to cope would be to find something you're passionate about, and focus as much as you can on that. Could be gaming, music, cooking, crochet... and so on. It doesn't always work but sometimes it's good to look back and consider that you've been through similar situations before. You're gonna be fine and get out on the other side.
@@xanira6367 That's good advice. BPD sounds pretty hard to live with. Do you talk to anyone about these things, especially when you're in these painful periods (like a therapist, friends, etc.)?
I was diagnosed with bpd traits at 17 at a mental ward. Now im getting diagnosed for it again, at 20. For a while i was convinced i had bipolar 1 (my moms diagnosed bipolar 1) and not bpd even though my symptoms were aligned with bpd all the way and not bipolar, now im starting therapy and me and the therapist who assessed me went through all of the symptoms, my whole life story, and the symptoms that i experience and now i feel that its no doubt, and the crisis therapist said he believes i have bpd aswell.
Recently I started to get UA-cam recommendations about BPD and it made me realize I have it at least since I was a teen (I'm in my mid 20's now)... It's really hard, it's like I have this pain inside of me that causes all of the symptoms... When my girlfriend, who loved me so much and was perfect for a clingy and obsessive person as myself (coz she was the same), has left me, it made everything sooo much worse, it's just unbearable... I was perfectly happy with her, though there were tiny things I could get upset about, but her leaving just ruined me...
I think the main take away here is the fact that people with bpd have this impaired abilities to empathize with people in their lives. Their self esteem shifts due to the unstable care and connections they've made that makes them feel people in their lives are temporarily. I can definitely see how CPTSD and PTSD factors into this. But unless you don't travel into your past doctors will only see the borderline characteristics.
Hey can you tell me 2 things? 1. Why my friend keeps sending me your videos like a lot of them to convince me I have depression 2. Why the ones she sends are so accurate
I previously diagnosed with ptsd after my father death and took medication accordingly but now one year earlier another doctor said that i have bpd.i really have no clue which disorder i have...im so lost...
Hello, I am genuinely curious about this because I believe my mom has BPD. I am concerned that it's possible I have some characteristics of BPD whether they are learned behaviors from my mom or whether I truly have a mental illness passed down genetically. However, I feel like this video needs a bit more detail/explaining as to the difference between QBPD and insecurity. I have more recently been increasingly insecure as I get into my 20-30s, but I would love to see more about this and what makes them different. I am still confused with the difference. Do you have some resources we can look at the do some research on our own if we want to know more? I'm also curious what the difference is between QBPD and BPD. What makes it quiet? Is there research behind this? How is it not just general BPD? Would treatment for this be different than regular BPD? Could you attach links to the websites you discussed in this video as well?
Quiet Borderline Most clinicians think of the borderline personality disorder case as being angry and explosive, but these individuals are instead quiet and hurting. People living with quiet BPD may feel misunderstood and receiving a correct diagnosis can feel as though a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. Quiet BPD looks different from ‘typical’ BPD. You may appear calm and high functioning, instead of ‘exploding’, you implode and collapse from within. some people fight, some people flee, some people dissociate. It is a matter of spectrum, rather than categorization. No one has either completely ‘classic’ or ‘quiet’ BPD, or should be labeled as such. As we discuss ‘quiet borderline’ or Quiet BPD, please be mindful that it is a survival strategy, not a definition of your personality. (eggshelltherapy) Quiet BPD often also overlaps with 'high-functioning BPD', where a part of the self is 'split off' to maintain a facade of hyper-competence and independence. (psychology today) Signs and Symptoms of Quiet BPD You look calm on the outside even when you are suffering from extreme pain on the inside. You have extreme mood swings that seem to come from nowhere. You hide your anger, sometimes to the point you don't know it when you are angry. You tend to blame yourself for things even when they are not your fault. When relationships end or conflicts arise, you immediately assume you did something wrong. You hold up an image that appears 'normal', calm and successful. You feel that there is something defective about you. You mentally retreat and can become dissociated when stressed. Most of the time, you feel empty and numb. When someone upsets you, instead of seeking clarification or confronting them, you immediately withdraw and may end the relationship without speaking to the person. You feel that you are a burden on others. One moment, you idealize other people, but soon you lose trust in them. Generally, you don't feel safe in the world. (Psychology Today) Through research, his team found that some people are 'overcontrolled' rather than 'undercontrolled.' Rather than being dysregulated and impulsive, they have the opposite struggles. They overly tolerate distress to the point where they don't seek help even when needed. They are sensitive to threats and interpersonal cues and easily feel hurt. However, they hide their emotions so much that they appear flat and un-feeling. While most people with BPD are undercontrolled and come across as being overly emotional and erratic, overcontrolled people are quiet, reserved, understated, and seem hard to engage. Because of this, their suffering is missed by most. Usually, undercontrolled personality is associated with Cluster B personality disorders such as Antisocial Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, while the overcontrolled character is linked to Cluster-C personality disorders such as Avoidant Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality Disorder, or Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder. (Psychology Today) According to Dr. Lynch, people who are over-controlled have the following four core deficits: - Lack of Receptivity and Openness: You tend to be risk-averse and hyper-vigilant. You may avoid new and novel experiences and can be dismissive of other people's input and feedback. - Lack of Flexible Responding: You may have a compulsive need for structure and order. You plan and rehearse everything. Your life may be governed by rigid rules you impose on yourself. You may also censor yourself and other people's behavior with high moral standards. - Lack of Emotional Expression and Awareness: You inhibit spontaneous emotional expression. Maybe you have expressions that do not match how you feel inside (e.g. you smile when you are distressed). You also tend to diminish your distress and adopt a stoic facade. - Lack of Social Connectedness and Intimacy: You may appear distant and aloof and keep people at arm's length. You may also compare yourself with others often and feel envious and bitter. These biology-based traits are powerful because they are unconscious and affect us without us even realizing it. Because this is an innate predisposition, you cannot will yourself, think yourself, or use more willpower to control or talk your way out of it. (Psychology Today) The Struggles of Quiet BPD Posted July 23, 2021 Over-control may help explain Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder. People with quiet BPD may: - Generally feel unsafe in the world - Feel empty and numb most of the time - Feel frequent shame and guilt - Project an image that appears "normal," calm, and successful - Believe that there is something defective about them - Have a great need for control - At times feel "surreal," as though in a movie or a dream - Look calm on the outside even when they're struggling intensely on the inside - Have extreme mood swings that are sudden and unexpected - Hide their anger, sometimes to the point they don't recognize when they're angry - Blame themselves for things even when they're not at fault - Immediately assume they did something wrong when relationships end or when conflicts arise - Dissociate and mentally retreat when stressed - Withdraw and possibly end a relationship when someone upsets them instead of discussing the situation - Feel that they are a burden on others - "People please," even when it's detrimental to themselves - Fear being alone but push people away - Idealize other people at first, but quickly lose trust in them - Experience "splitting" behavior" (black-and-white thinking or swinging from one extreme to another, with little provocation) (verywellhealth) Characteristics of Quiet BPD - Becoming suddenly quiet and withdrawn - Failing to return phone calls and texts or to follow through on plans - Saying that "everything is fine" even when stress is high - Feeling that any strong emotional expression is wrong and should cause shame and guilt - Extreme people-pleasing - Saying that nothing matters - Engaging in a string of intense and unhealthy relationships - Constantly feeling that they are not good enough for another person, even when the person is not very desirable (choosing therapy)
I would imagine qbpd I like bpd just without the explosiveness towards other and more so ur holding it it or tend to withdraw/avoid what it is that's troubling u instead of confronting it with undue aggression
The stigma for BPD is so high. When I told a friend that I was considered for it at one time (diagnosed at 15, ruled out at 25) they used it against me later. When people hear you have or may have BPD, they assume you are manipulative and angry. While the idea of abandonment isn't a comfortable idea for me, it's certainly not a fear. I have healthy friendships that have spanned over 15 years. I am consistent in who i am and what my morals are and they remain unchanging. I am not an angry person, I do not have outbursts, nd I am not hypervigilant about being abandoned. The overlap between BPD and my other diagnosis are impulsivity and rejection sensitivity. When a person with a history of BPD is accused of lying, they are automatically assumed to be in the wrong and when they are seeking help for other issues (in my case, hyperactivity from diagnosed ADHD and anxiety from diagnosed PTSD), they are sometimes not taken seriously by psychiatrists. The incorrect diagnosis of BPD led to years of struggle that would have been managed if I had been properly diagnosed with ADHD at 15, instead of 25. They didn't know I had ADHD as a kid because the men in my family who have it were far more hyperactive, while as a child I was mostly inattentive.
I just got broken up with about a month ago, and I've been just been so depressed. I made everything worse, we could have been freinds still, but I lashed out because I didn't understand why what was happening was happening. Now my partner hates me, and I've just been rotting away in my room...
I’m coming from the same situation and I’m tell you right now you’ll end up reliving this over and over and over again until you realize you’re the one who created this situation and you’re the one with your behavior who has to get yourself out. I’m literally telling myself the same thing right now. Things will get better for you I promise.
@1:03 Did you accidentally leave something out of the presentation? It seemed like you were about to mention the percent differences (or some such metric) in observed cases in males vs. females to make a point that the disparity in cases is not as vast as is generally assumed, but then you mention the rate of (all) ADULTS in the U.S. without making such a differentiation and I don't see how these two statements connect.
This sounds like me. I look like insurancity. I have a overactive amedala. Today I learned I have 2 more mental diseases. This and Tv snow in my eyes. To make it worse I have anxiety and the ringing noise, when it’s quieter. Wow. I might have ADHD too. Please pray for me in the comments, please.
so i feel like i might have bpd because ive noticed for years these signs and always wondered whats wrong with me why do i feel like this but not sure if its because of depression or anxiety since im diagnosed with it as a sixteen year old and as this video explains about discouraged bpd i notice how my mood changes from being depressed for weeks or even a month then super out of the blue confident and happy and not showing definite signs of bpd as the generalized norm to pple diagnosed
I was diagnosed with bipolar in January, went to therapy but couldn't afford it anymore after 3 months. Now I'm only on medications prescribed by psychiatrist. But for some reason BPD describes all my symptoms. What's the difference then? I think that video brought more confusion instead of clearance in mental disorders.
It’s often why consuming too much mental health content online is a bad thing in my opinion. Not only are the loudest voices about mental health on the internet often not actual experts, but usually vague symptoms that can apply to a number of things are often ascribed to specific disorders which people then self-diagnose with. Before you know it you have people walking around confused if they have ADHD, ASD, BPD, cPTSD, bipolar, etc etc or even worse claiming they have several or all of these things despite never having actually spoken to a professional. Mental health content is so diluted online with a vagueness that can’t make up for the nuance in every day people’s lives, and the spectrum of symptoms that these disorders manifest in.
Yeah, the video did the same for me... I *think* BPD is more often diagnosed when people exhibit a pattern of behaviors that really harm or sabotage themselves and/or others (Or your relationships with others), alongside the mood swings, depression, and self-esteem issues you might get with just run-of-the-mill bipolar. Per NIMH, these are some of the possible symptoms of BPD: - Efforts to avoid real or perceived abandonment, such as plunging headfirst into relationships-or ending them just as quickly. - A pattern of intense and unstable relationships with family, friends, and loved ones. - A distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self. - Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating. *Please note: If these behaviors happen mostly during times of elevated mood or energy, they may be symptoms of a mood disorder and not borderline personality disorder.* - Self-harming behavior, such as cutting. - Recurring thoughts of suicidal behaviors or threats. - Intense and highly variable moods, with episodes lasting from a few hours to a few days. - Chronic feelings of emptiness. - Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger. - Feelings of dissociation, such as feeling cut off from oneself, observing oneself from outside one’s body, or feelings of unreality.
Hi, umm... I have a request. Can you make a video on how to be respectful to other, or how to be polite to other People? Because really, there's too many video on how to get respected but not with how to be respectful to other
I have yet to try any aid for BPD, including a diagnosis. I'll notify my pychiatrist or therapist once i have one in who knows how many years from now becuase there are either no spots left, a decade long waiting list or they dont want to work with me. :I Because it does discribe me kinda well. All over the place, super unstable both emotionally and mentally (I am diagnosed with severe mental & emotional instability afterall) lack almost all drive and usually feel very empty and muted when i am not going hard into something. Like there is a minimum emotional response barrier that has been placed way too close to the sudden extreme reaction where its either i feel nothing atall or very strongly with nothing inbetween flipfopping at every kind of occasion.
Thx Dear Souls, Important for me, coz He sayed He (infj infp) got diagnosed with bpd. But IT seems I can never be with Him, coz His mind fucks Up His Soul. Very sad. Shinji lost in His head. Bless His Soul. Greets Asuka.
I am curious w the amount of folks that shared that they have adhd (i have it too), if there is a higher chance for them to also have a type of bpd? Like how i've heard there's higher chances of folks w adhd also having a learning disability (which i have two of, lucky me lol). Also, sometimes i worry that i'm just a narcicisst. I really can't tell anymore bc we are living in a truly unhealthy society (i.e. capitalism and hyper-individualism). It's hard to tell if it's me, us, or "them" -them being ingrained aspects of society. All i know is i want to be healthy and not insecure bc i know the harm that it has caused in my life. I'm going to bring this up w my therapist and see what she knows about dbt. Regardless of a diagnosis, it can't hurt to try another technique to help w all of my dsyregulation.
Due to ACoA experience. Someone who's been mentally abused will: - constantly apologize - feeling not enough - hide feelings - hypersensitive to criticism - breakdown during small disagreements - need a lot of assurance - struggle to put guard down
Have bpd and bipolar, but because i have it- i can't make my life better due to the fucking medical system that is supposed to help me, if an unstable person is unstable on all things but one, is that not the core of that persons being? Let me explain, its like this: im telling you, this is who i am, these are the things im having a hard time with, And then you scribble some stick figure on a paper, then proceed to tell me that im not who i am and that my struggles aren't the problem.. like wtf, wtf i need a new shrink.
I put this on another vid but I was 2 late could you please do an video on what girls see in guys or how to let your crush know you exist cause I'm in high school and homecoming is on the 20th and I don't know what to do Thank you for all you doing
Just be yourself. Pretending to be something you're not will land you into trouble later on because you will be promising something you cannot keep. And that is another word for being a liar and fake.
@@TheGreatestAdventurer2007 When your self-image is adequate and one that you can be wholesomely proud of, you feel self-confident. You feel free to "be yourself" and to express yourself. You function at your optimum. Maxwell Maltz
i want to cry this isnt fair i want this to be not me i wont accept it its not okay for it to be me pls😢😢😢 im probablu seeming extra bpd bc im thinking ab it 😢 how do i make it go awwwyy
When you have a hammer in your hand, you start to see nails everywhere. The symptoms listed are non-specific and describe many forms of mood troubles. I appreciate that the scientists are sincere but this has signs of sciencism.
I feel like I might have this but since this is not included in the DSM-5 and not a real diagnosis I don't think I have this. My opinions and feelings can change rapidly, frequently and drastically in a very short amount of time. I have this cycle of pushing people away because I strive to be independent and to prove a point but then after coming back to rely on them because everything in solitude becomes so overwhelming. I don't know what I want. I don't know myself. I can be overly indecisive, harbor catastrophization(minimizing and magnifying) and black-and-white thinking, AKA all-or-nothing thinking. When compared to people who actually have BPD, the more well known type I don't feel valid. I lack impulsivity and have never been hospitalized. I just would deny having it.
Remember not to self diagnose y’all. See how low the diagnosis rate is¿ Yes we all experience at least one of these things but you can’t really know or begin to have real recovery until you meet with a psychiatrist or a therapist who is licensed to diagnose. ❤
I work from home, but, yeah, it always surprised me how this channel posts so late at night lol. Sometimes, it’s not a good idea because I don’t want new mental health information that late lol even if I don’t have to watch it
HEY GOOD EVENING MY FRIENDS, I HAVE A QUESTION ❓ WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOUR PARENT TREAT YOU LIKE A OUT CAST AND JUST WANT YOU TO DO WHAT SHE WANT DONE, 🖕 TREAT ME JUST OR DON'T TREAT ME AT ALL , I CAN RELATE TO THIS TOPIC 💯 PERCENT, PLEASE KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS. SLEEP WELL MY FRIENDS AND TOXIC FAMILY. TEE 🙏💯🙏💙💪
"fear of abandonment, unstable relationships, instability and insecure self image, intense mood swings, stress related paranoia" I dont appreciate this near perfect description of me, "intense clinginess" i literally hang off of my friends, "dependant or avoidant tendencies" i self isolate a LOT.
I can get sooo clingy yet at the same time be so determined to push ppl away, ghost, or disappear. Still don't know if I have BPD, CPTSD, or if it's just a combination of depression and anxiety
Cry
twinn
@@Southghost5997someone was having a mood swing!😃
@@codeswift27 real, I also has Autism which in some ways can be very similar to bpd. It almost feels like I'm developing it but it could be the a million and one other things going on ;-;
I thought I had BPD but then I found out ADHD has a lot of the same symptoms, and it gets a lot worse if you're sleep deprived. I was at the time. I've since been diagnosed with ADHD so people might want to look into that too because the mood swings, insecurity, and other shit can come from adhd and bouts of depression come from a lack of sleep and adhd sufferers have a lack of sleep often
OMG! Thank you so much for your comment! I've been thinking about wether I have ADHD for a long time. Never wanted a diagnosis because in highschool everyone around me who got diagnosed used it as an excuse for their shitty behaviour and I didn't want that possability for me. Many symptoms of insecurity and BPD clicked with me but I'm generally pretty confident. I really noticed lately my anxious thoughts, insecurities, etc. Have skyrocketed since haveing to do long distance with my first ever relationship (started 5 months ago). And ot is exactely as you say, sleep deprivation and tiredness makes my negative emotions and fears so much worse!
What triggers mood swings?
Perhaps this concept which is closely related to ADHD;
Symptoms of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
(when criticism hurts)
- Being easily embarrassed
- Heightened fear of failure
- Unrealistically high expectations for self
- Assuming people don't like you
- Avoiding social settings
- Perfectionistic tendencies
What triggers RSD?
Everyone's RSD triggers are different, but they may include:
- being rejected or thinking you're being rejected, like not getting a response to a text message or email
- a sense of falling short or failing to meet your own high standards or others' expectations
- being criticized for something you can't control
@@ranc1977 that's not what my experience was tbh
@@HugoStiglitz88 That's why BPD has 4 sub-types.
Quiet BPD is equal to RSD.
I relate to most diagnosis of ADHD, except for snapping. Im very Young, and my mom tells me I don’t have it, so I diagnosed myself. I have nothing to treat it with, so I treat my ADHD as a cycle.
A therapist I had once described BPD as "PTSD without a source". Which makes you wonder, if the doctors don't KNOW of the source of your distress, could some cases of BPD actually be PTSD?
This clears up a lot of the questions I had about this lol
We do know the source(s): 1- Genes, there is a hereditary component, iows, nature loads the gun, nurture pulls the trigger.
2- Kernberg's second developmental task, overcoming splitting, those with BPD failed that task in early childhood, that's one of the nurture parts, aka, toxic environment, part of the trigger pulled, brain might or might not go neurodivergent on its own without abandonment trauma.
3- Add abandonment trauma(s) and the trigger is fully pulled most of the time ( but not always ) if #2 is true, brain takes a different developmental path into neurodivergence -> BPD.
It is 100% right. This is exactly how I feel :)
There’s always a source, that’s the start of it. I’ve had BPD for 20yrs and CPTSD, they are separate things. So, yeah, that person is talking out their arse.
i have bpd and ptsd😔
I know someone with BPD, I wouldn't wish that on my worse enemy.
It's so weird, because it's almost like you can actually mentally distiguish between the person themselves and the disorder. It's like it's something that doesn't actually integrate into their personality.
I'll call the person Bob. In Bob, I see a person that had a lot going for them. A capable, polite, intelligent, well meaning person. Then, if some mystery random event takes place, like perhaps 50 miles away some wind blew a leaf wrong, something just happens, and Bob becomes pure evil. He will say and do whatever he can to harm is target in any way, believing himself to be justified, and that the target of his anger is responsible for everything bad that has ever happened to him. Bob tends to apologize later, but what Bob misses is that people aren't actually upset or personally offended by his behavior, they are simply stunned and confused by it. I don't think Bob realizes that his fights with people do not make sense to anyone and look utterly bizarre. Apologies are accepted out of concern.
If you haven't experienced this, it's hard to explain. These aren't normal confrontations or arguments. This isn't a perpetually angry guy who is short with people or unapproachable. He comes off as relatively normal and agreeable, until whatever sets him off happens.
I haven't heard from him in a few years. He isn't friends with anyone anymore and he does not speak to his family. The story didn't end well, but hopefully it will in the future.
I wish this was something we could just pull out of a person's brain, because I can tell you right now, you can see what the person is really like without the affliction so clearly in this case. BPD is the actual mental disorder that characterizes Jeckyll and Hyde.
Really it will be painful for him after he stops being angry, but the person should not feel hopeless no matter what his problem is and every year you are a problem that has a solution or even ways to manage anger and emotions and support from the surrounding people who are crazy to understand the situation
"Jeckyll and Hyde."
When we are triggered, amygdala is hijacked - and of course our brain will not have full plethora of personality traits available at disposal. In Dysregulation - only basic persona trait set is available.
This is not sickness nor abnormality, this is how brain works.
Most people who never experienced hysterical authority figures in childhood know how to regulate themselves and then they appear "normal" and without mood swings -
not because they are normal, but because they never were imprinted with mentally ill untreated psychopath's behavior in childhood.
@@ranc1977 Completely true or we can represent for her the person who was programmed in a certain way where he acquired behavior based on his previous programming and the other who was left without exposure to any programming i.e. naturally without any interventions or effects
@@gafer8808 I would be careful with identifying what is our behavior and what is programming.
People tend to label their fawning and shyness as abnormality and scapegoat it as a reason for being abused.
This belief leads to toxic shame, self blame, mental illness and personality disorder.
We need to understand that what we see as programming, and I personally call it "hypnosis" while in reality it is Operant Conditioning - that this a natural reaction to abuser and someone untreated mentally ill, someone who is evil and abusive and predatory. It is coping mechanisms that we were coerced into becoming.
Otherwise we were tormented and psychologically and physically abused all the time, through set of punishments and Negative Reinforcement.
This is crucial to understand -
because if we do not understand that it is Coercive Control - we will tend to self blame ourselves and then over-compensate and build fake persona who appears strong and defensive - which ends up as hysterical Karen and being abusive. Then we pass trauma onto the next generation, like a generational curse.
It is important to realize to validate ourselves, validate our reactions to abnormal people and abnormal situations.
As oppose to have fantasy about becoming "strong". We already are strong.
All we need is self validation and self acceptance in order to build our Self, our identity and our persona - without being coerced by toxic evil monsters - psychopaths and narcissists around us.
-
"Any attempt to dictate what thoughts, feelings, and sensations are proper or improper creates a breeding ground for guilt and shame"
Peter Levine
@@ranc1977 Yes, I agree with you.
Coercive behavior is a defensive, natural mechanism to protect oneself from harm from those around people, for every action there is a reaction, also self-blame is not good because it is basically forced behavior and not optional, accepting oneself to help it to build oneself is the best solution, really great words I really benefited from this talk thank you
Would love a comparison like this of BPD and PMDD symptoms
CBT is a mystery to me. I tried it and I had no idea what emotion I was feeling or what triggered it. It's like being colour blind. However I recognise rage and sadness as they are constant companions. Life is strange and unpleasant.
Sounds like alexythmia
CBT is ableist therapy, it is narcissistic abuse in medical industry, created by narcissists and psychopaths who like domination, control and manipulation of weak targets, someone who seeks genuine help for debilitating states and then they make money profit with misdiagnosis and wrong explanations.
Think of CBT like Trump being smart enough to finish medical school so he is now director of medical industry in America, that is what who runs CBT and DSM, a mentally ill psychopaths who are evil to the core.
CBT ought to be banned.
Cock & ball torture
Same here. For the longest time I thought I couldn’t possibly have BPD because I didn’t think I was having emotion lability but that was because I couldn’t figure out what I was feeling. Later discovered it was a lot of rage and despair.
You can do it
I was recently diagnosed with BPD. I did not realize Quiet BPD was a thing and it has made me feel so so valid.
I honestly think I have discouraged BPD. I feel like my world is crashing down when that feeling hits. I can't make out anyone's intentions or feel my sense of control. It's like opening up a can of worms, and I just want to self isolate. I don't know what to say to others. In that moment I'm not okay and in return you're not okay with me either.
i really don’t wanna have this cause i wouldn’t have a clue where to start to get help.. but i keep relating to this more and more :/
Try to get a therapist, might help!
Dbt and trauma therapy will help you ❤
As the two comments above mentioned, the best thing would be to speak with a mental health professional :)
A psychologist will help you through with therapy & counselling, a psychiatrist will just give you medication to control it… it’s a process to learn how to manage yourself and unlearn some habits we’ve ingrained in ourselves so it’s better to seek a psychologist
@@Psych2go easy to say, try that in a 3rd world country and see how it goes.
it’s so weird, i have like all the symptoms of quiet BPD, but i cant tell if it’s just my anxiety, adhd, and depression in one. the main thing i’ve been looking for with the BPD is my mood swings, my mood will change a lot throughout the day, there’s obviously triggers, but the littlest things put me in a bad mood for hours. and then i’ll go into these holes for days it’s really confusing
I would talk to a professional to help with some tools to help you.
@@dana102083 Professional will misdiagnose her. Quiet BPD is not official term and most doctors have no idea that it exists.
It is Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria that explain what triggers us - search about it, learn about it more.
same
@@FalingoBlade IFS Model helps with Quiet BPD:
No Bad Parts - book.
For a while now, I’ve been convinced my father has undiagnosed BPD, and similar patterns have emerged in my mother and I over the years, possibly from prolonged exposure to his chaotic mindset.
Have you had a chance to speak with a professional who could diagnose him?
@@Psych2go I believe they’ve both discussed it with each other in private, though not sure if/when they’ll opt for a formal diagnosis at this stage (possibly in light of the challenges and stigmas I’ve faced in their push for a definitive diagnosis of what’s “wrong” with me, and wanting to avoid similar hardships and societal invalidation on top of their already existing mess of life dramas).
Either way, it’s ultimately their call; all I can do is keep focussing on my own healing journey, striving to get my life on track and distance myself from this cycle of volatility, which is easier said than done on multiple levels… 🫤
I've been going to a therapist for a while and reached really far. Yet i feel like there's something missing for me to be able to move on and fight it. I would like to request/suggest a video about ways to gain/improve your self-esteem...
Hint for anxious people like me: try to do intense-focus tasks like reading. Your mind you try to fill any gaps you left why random things and stuff you don't need to even solve at that time, causing you to overthink. And yes... being an overthinker is not bad, but ya need to know that sometimes the best option is to adapt to the situation. Don't let the "what will happen next" bother you that much.
Recently I've been diagnosed with BPD, and something I noticed was, before, whenever I'd be talking to someone about my social anxieties, they would always respond to me as if I was speaking in a self deprecating way. They'd say things like "you're too hard on yourself" and it didn't help because I didn't really have a problem with myself, I felt like they had a problem with me and I felt threatened, and responding to me as if I was having a problem with confidence only made me feel like there was something wrong with me that I'm not noticing and they were just trying to be nice about it. But I realized that lack of confidence is probably just the more reasonable reason to feel socially anxious, and my feelings that people might turn on me and possibly attack me for reasons I don't understand might not be the most relatable feeling
For the sake of helping to lessen the stigma of people with BPD, it's time to change the name of the disorder.
As someone with BPD, I find no stigma in the name. In Britain they call it “emotionally unstable personality disorder”. That name has WAY more stigma to it. I would run away from a person if they told me “ I have emotionally unstable personality disorder”. BPD sounds subtle.
And that not everyone exhibits the same symptoms.
Would love a comparison video like this of BPD and CPTSD.
There is no difference between Quiet BPD and CPTSD. They are exactly the same.
@@ranc1977 there is quite a difference. I would just like to see a well done video on the overlaps and differences. I was diagnosed with BPD and never actually met the criteria fully, it was just CPTSD presenting itself similarly.
@@LittleMissJenn Can you list a difference?
@@ranc1977 sorry, I had replied multiple times and it had not gone through and only realised now.
The biggest difference between BPD and CPTSD is that one is innate, and one is learned, meaning that it can be unlearned. There are many overlapping symptoms and qualities, though it has been proven that CPTSD is not a subset of BPD nor PTSD, but rather can exist comorbidly. There are a few great recent articles online explaining the differences and why they could be seen as similar, and some wonderful books by Pete Walker on CPTSD specifically.
@@LittleMissJenn Then it gets complex - no pun intended because:
There is Quiet BPD - which is not like BPD, Quiet BPD is hardly recognized and it is often missed and misdiagnosed as something else..
I don't feel empty, inadequate or depressed I am it, I am empty, I am inadequate and I am depressed that there is litterly nothing i can do about it. Ive worked on this for better part of 45 years and theres no way to feel un empty, adiquate or undepressed it must just be left to fade away.
I absolutely hear and agree with you. I have been battling my demons for over 30 years that I know of, pre-diagnosis of Cronic depression and CPTSD. Im 55 and in reality I look back and see that I have been fighting this battle before I knew I was even in a battle. My 30 years of constant therapy and mental health programs has done little more than keep me alive. But once i am triggered all i can think about is how I should not be alive. And that there’s nothing for me in this world. Even when I’m okay, I never feel like I truly belong on this earth. It’s so hard and it’s hard to explain to anyone. No one sees what Im trying to say. Or they just don’t want to go there with me because it’s all to hard. I have no one really!
@joannesmith4444 I hear ya! CPTSD is similar to what I have, but defenetly not the same, which is BPD. You wouldn't want that!
I'm in my early 60s and have been trying to figure this out since I was 16. If I'm really honest, I can remember feeling empty at age 2 in my highchair, I thought to myself...''is this it!?" Then I saw something like an invisible outline of a man that said...''This is no place for kids.''
I'm fortunate for the assistance I get from whoever this is because they've saved my ass more times than I can recall.
Look back and make a list of what positives this emptiness has brought you as well as the negatives. They are there! For instance, my positive is that because I'm so fk'd up, my government gave me a disability pension and a beautiful unit to live in with very cheap rent, I walk along the beach looking g at the tents full of homless and think how fortunate am I to be so fk'd up and given a home for free and safe, warm and dry at night.
@@iamthatiam44444 Wow! You got a place to live at an affordable price, that’s awesome. I am on a disability pension too but the Australian government doesn’t help us or anyone else for that matter with housing. What Country are you from?
In my life, Im been diagnised as having Borderline Personality Disorder. Ive also been diagnosed with AAD, ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, Major Depression, (I swear this is a real quote) "God's own personal rage control issues", and (thanks to my most recent therapist) PTSD.
Honestly, I dont know whats wrong with me. I just want it to stop hurting. I want someone to care enough actually do things with me.
Life IS PAIN. It will probably not get any better. Sad but true.
@1unsung971 Please spare me the recitation of lessons from the Princess Bride School of Psychology.
There's only so much "manning up" a person can do before that person decides that the taste of a gauge hurts less than the rest of the world. Maybe I'd prefer to not reach that particular threshold again.
@@1unsung971life is pain but constant suffering can be lessened. Reducing harm, hello..
So many of those disorders share symptoms. My older sister has been through that exact same thing
@siqxyre8473 I'm aware. I'm currently being medicated for Bipolar Disorder, but my current therapist is working on her diagnosis of PTSD being the underlying problem and other things being misread symptoms.
I only go through the full list to provide an example of the level to which, no matter how much people in this field want to help others, this is, at best, an inexact science.
I always come back to you for knowledge for my
mental health
A cartoon made me realize I was autistic, a fanfic made me realize I had BPD. I’m finally on the road to healing. Finally some peace.
Out of curiosity, which fanfic?
Please check with your doctor before assuming!
I’ve felt this way since i have consciousness, I've been seeing a psychologist for 2 or 3 months and I still don't dare tell her about this. I feel like my mind is pretending all this for some reason, my excuse is that I'm a teenager. But it worries me so much that I don't understand what the hell is going on in my head and every day it drives me crazier and crazier
Thank you so much, I always get really angry and depressed and forget how much positives there are in my life.. appreciate it.. and your voice does turn me on.. but is just non judgemental and I am grateful for your understanding..
Why are there no views on this
its because its unlisted
Looks like I am the textbook definition of quiet borderline personality disorder… I've already been diagnosed as such, this just a firms it. Thank you for this video
Ya, males have a very hard time getting taken seriously, been 6 yuears and I'm still struggling to get an official daignosis. 10 years since I started but 6 years since I've known it was quiet bpd. The gaslighting and runarounds I've gotten from the stigma is insane. Then, covid hit on top of it all, what a nightmare, then I was homeless for 3 years. Let's say it's been a rough, decade... well, life really.
Thank for the usefull information. Now I know that I have some of these BPD Symptoms
i have BPD, but for the longest time, i didnt understand why i only had BPD symptoms with certain people. turns out i had 2 of the personality disorders that seem like polar opposites. schizoid and borderline. with family and romantic partners i very clearly have BPD, but with most other people its the complete opposite.
How does that work? What's it like to have both disorders?
@@existentialchaos8 it's weird, it's like 2 distinctly different personalities. With most people, like friends and associates, I just feel really indifferent and no desire to partake in social activities or maintain the relationship. But with romantic relationships and family i get really attached, anxious, emotionally volatile, and so on.
It's not something I can really control, it's just like I get bombarded with extreme uncontrollable emotions. Anger, depression, even get quite possessive.
Anyway there's a lot more to it, but as a summary you could say my really close relationships are very volatile and fragile, while the rest are very surface level.
@@xanira6367 Oh. If I may ask, how are you managing with your relationships? What are things you do to cope with this?
@@existentialchaos8 schizoid i don't really "cope" I just tell people that I don't feel particularly enticed to deal with them.
BPD I don't really know, Ive taken meds. I've had periods where I drank and smoked a lot. It's not things that I recommend, but sometimes it feels like there's only hurt and pain. Maybe more positive ways to cope would be to find something you're passionate about, and focus as much as you can on that. Could be gaming, music, cooking, crochet... and so on. It doesn't always work but sometimes it's good to look back and consider that you've been through similar situations before. You're gonna be fine and get out on the other side.
@@xanira6367 That's good advice. BPD sounds pretty hard to live with. Do you talk to anyone about these things, especially when you're in these painful periods (like a therapist, friends, etc.)?
100% thumbs up!!! Great video.
I was diagnosed with bpd traits at 17 at a mental ward. Now im getting diagnosed for it again, at 20. For a while i was convinced i had bipolar 1 (my moms diagnosed bipolar 1) and not bpd even though my symptoms were aligned with bpd all the way and not bipolar, now im starting therapy and me and the therapist who assessed me went through all of the symptoms, my whole life story, and the symptoms that i experience and now i feel that its no doubt, and the crisis therapist said he believes i have bpd aswell.
Recently I started to get UA-cam recommendations about BPD and it made me realize I have it at least since I was a teen (I'm in my mid 20's now)... It's really hard, it's like I have this pain inside of me that causes all of the symptoms... When my girlfriend, who loved me so much and was perfect for a clingy and obsessive person as myself (coz she was the same), has left me, it made everything sooo much worse, it's just unbearable... I was perfectly happy with her, though there were tiny things I could get upset about, but her leaving just ruined me...
I think the main take away here is the fact that people with bpd have this impaired abilities to empathize with people in their lives. Their self esteem shifts due to the unstable care and connections they've made that makes them feel people in their lives are temporarily. I can definitely see how CPTSD and PTSD factors into this. But unless you don't travel into your past doctors will only see the borderline characteristics.
Usually I understand your videos quite well, where this one went right over my head for most of it. I'll try again at another time.
Hey can you tell me 2 things?
1. Why my friend keeps sending me your videos like a lot of them to convince me I have depression
2. Why the ones she sends are so accurate
Perhaps your friend suspects that you might be depressed and wants to help. Have you ever been diagnosed with depression?
@@Psych2go I think he was ironic. He already knows the answers to his clickbait questions.
@@Psych2go yeah, now I have
@@Psych2go take in mind from an actual psychologist
@@ranc1977 no not ironic sadly, but thanks
I think bpd is over diagnosed nowadays. Coming from an adhd, autistic only diagnosed at 19, now later in my life.
Could yall please do a video on Histrionic Personality Disorder. Its usually very overlooked. 🥺
You forget to add "...or else"
@@ranc1977hey dude don’t be mean, they’re like us. -person with bpd
@@chipkid It's a joke.
@@ranc1977 sorry my autistic ass couldn’t tell lol
@@chipkid hehe 💕💝
I waited for this video all my life
I previously diagnosed with ptsd after my father death and took medication accordingly but now one year earlier another doctor said that i have bpd.i really have no clue which disorder i have...im so lost...
Hello, I am genuinely curious about this because I believe my mom has BPD. I am concerned that it's possible I have some characteristics of BPD whether they are learned behaviors from my mom or whether I truly have a mental illness passed down genetically. However, I feel like this video needs a bit more detail/explaining as to the difference between QBPD and insecurity. I have more recently been increasingly insecure as I get into my 20-30s, but I would love to see more about this and what makes them different. I am still confused with the difference. Do you have some resources we can look at the do some research on our own if we want to know more?
I'm also curious what the difference is between QBPD and BPD. What makes it quiet? Is there research behind this? How is it not just general BPD? Would treatment for this be different than regular BPD?
Could you attach links to the websites you discussed in this video as well?
Quiet Borderline
Most clinicians think of the borderline personality disorder case as being angry and explosive, but these individuals are instead quiet and hurting. People living with quiet BPD may feel misunderstood and receiving a correct diagnosis can feel as though a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
Quiet BPD looks different from ‘typical’ BPD.
You may appear calm and high functioning, instead of ‘exploding’, you implode and collapse from within.
some people fight, some people flee, some people dissociate. It is a matter of spectrum, rather than categorization. No one has either completely ‘classic’ or ‘quiet’ BPD, or should be labeled as such. As we discuss ‘quiet borderline’ or Quiet BPD, please be mindful that it is a survival strategy, not a definition of your personality.
(eggshelltherapy)
Quiet BPD often also overlaps with 'high-functioning BPD', where a part of the self is 'split off' to maintain a facade of hyper-competence and independence.
(psychology today)
Signs and Symptoms of Quiet BPD
You look calm on the outside even when you are suffering from extreme pain on the inside.
You have extreme mood swings that seem to come from nowhere.
You hide your anger, sometimes to the point you don't know it when you are angry.
You tend to blame yourself for things even when they are not your fault.
When relationships end or conflicts arise, you immediately assume you did something wrong.
You hold up an image that appears 'normal', calm and successful.
You feel that there is something defective about you.
You mentally retreat and can become dissociated when stressed.
Most of the time, you feel empty and numb.
When someone upsets you, instead of seeking clarification or confronting them, you immediately withdraw and may end the relationship without speaking to the person.
You feel that you are a burden on others.
One moment, you idealize other people, but soon you lose trust in them. Generally, you don't feel safe in the world.
(Psychology Today)
Through research, his team found that some people are 'overcontrolled' rather than 'undercontrolled.' Rather than being dysregulated and impulsive, they have the opposite struggles. They overly tolerate distress to the point where they don't seek help even when needed. They are sensitive to threats and interpersonal cues and easily feel hurt. However, they hide their emotions so much that they appear flat and un-feeling. While most people with BPD are undercontrolled and come across as being overly emotional and erratic, overcontrolled people are quiet, reserved, understated, and seem hard to engage. Because of this, their suffering is missed by most. Usually, undercontrolled personality is associated with Cluster B personality disorders such as Antisocial Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, while the overcontrolled character is linked to Cluster-C personality disorders such as Avoidant Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality Disorder, or Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder.
(Psychology Today)
According to Dr. Lynch, people who are over-controlled have the following four core deficits:
- Lack of Receptivity and Openness: You tend to be risk-averse and hyper-vigilant. You may avoid new and novel experiences and can be dismissive of other people's input and feedback.
- Lack of Flexible Responding: You may have a compulsive need for structure and order. You plan and rehearse everything. Your life may be governed by rigid rules you impose on yourself. You may also censor yourself and other people's behavior with high moral standards.
- Lack of Emotional Expression and Awareness: You inhibit spontaneous emotional expression. Maybe you have expressions that do not match how you feel inside (e.g. you smile when you are distressed). You also tend to diminish your distress and adopt a stoic facade.
- Lack of Social Connectedness and Intimacy: You may appear distant and aloof and keep people at arm's length. You may also compare yourself with others often and feel envious and bitter.
These biology-based traits are powerful because they are unconscious and affect us without us even realizing it. Because this is an innate predisposition, you cannot will yourself, think yourself, or use more willpower to control or talk your way out of it.
(Psychology Today) The Struggles of Quiet BPD
Posted July 23, 2021 Over-control may help explain Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder.
People with quiet BPD may:
- Generally feel unsafe in the world
- Feel empty and numb most of the time
- Feel frequent shame and guilt
- Project an image that appears "normal," calm, and successful
- Believe that there is something defective about them
- Have a great need for control
- At times feel "surreal," as though in a movie or a dream
- Look calm on the outside even when they're struggling intensely on the inside
- Have extreme mood swings that are sudden and unexpected
- Hide their anger, sometimes to the point they don't recognize when they're angry
- Blame themselves for things even when they're not at fault
- Immediately assume they did something wrong when relationships end or when conflicts arise
- Dissociate and mentally retreat when stressed
- Withdraw and possibly end a relationship when someone upsets them instead of discussing the situation
- Feel that they are a burden on others
- "People please," even when it's detrimental to themselves
- Fear being alone but push people away
- Idealize other people at first, but quickly lose trust in them
- Experience "splitting" behavior" (black-and-white thinking or swinging from one extreme to another, with little provocation)
(verywellhealth)
Characteristics of Quiet BPD
- Becoming suddenly quiet and withdrawn
- Failing to return phone calls and texts or to follow through on plans
- Saying that "everything is fine" even when stress is high
- Feeling that any strong emotional expression is wrong and should cause shame and guilt
- Extreme people-pleasing
- Saying that nothing matters
- Engaging in a string of intense and unhealthy relationships
- Constantly feeling that they are not good enough for another person, even when the person is not very desirable
(choosing therapy)
I would imagine qbpd I like bpd just without the explosiveness towards other and more so ur holding it it or tend to withdraw/avoid what it is that's troubling u instead of confronting it with undue aggression
The stigma for BPD is so high. When I told a friend that I was considered for it at one time (diagnosed at 15, ruled out at 25) they used it against me later.
When people hear you have or may have BPD, they assume you are manipulative and angry.
While the idea of abandonment isn't a comfortable idea for me, it's certainly not a fear.
I have healthy friendships that have spanned over 15 years.
I am consistent in who i am and what my morals are and they remain unchanging.
I am not an angry person, I do not have outbursts, nd I am not hypervigilant about being abandoned.
The overlap between BPD and my other diagnosis are impulsivity and rejection sensitivity.
When a person with a history of BPD is accused of lying, they are automatically assumed to be in the wrong and when they are seeking help for other issues (in my case, hyperactivity from diagnosed ADHD and anxiety from diagnosed PTSD), they are sometimes not taken seriously by psychiatrists.
The incorrect diagnosis of BPD led to years of struggle that would have been managed if I had been properly diagnosed with ADHD at 15, instead of 25.
They didn't know I had ADHD as a kid because the men in my family who have it were far more hyperactive, while as a child I was mostly inattentive.
I would love a comparison between BPD and someone just being toxic
it's the same bro
Psych2go: This video is not meant to diagnose
The comment section: *self diagnosing*
Psych2go:
I have quiet borderline personality disorder (BPD)
I just got broken up with about a month ago, and I've been just been so depressed. I made everything worse, we could have been freinds still, but I lashed out because I didn't understand why what was happening was happening. Now my partner hates me, and I've just been rotting away in my room...
I’m coming from the same situation and I’m tell you right now you’ll end up reliving this over and over and over again until you realize you’re the one who created this situation and you’re the one with your behavior who has to get yourself out. I’m literally telling myself the same thing right now. Things will get better for you I promise.
@1:03 Did you accidentally leave something out of the presentation? It seemed like you were about to mention the percent differences (or some such metric) in observed cases in males vs. females to make a point that the disparity in cases is not as vast as is generally assumed, but then you mention the rate of (all) ADULTS in the U.S. without making such a differentiation and I don't see how these two statements connect.
Thank you i really had a bad day today(I won't mention the details). This helped me understand myself better.
"(I won't mention the details)"
That is the epitome/summary/essence/gist/sum of Quiet BPD.
This sounds like me. I look like insurancity. I have a overactive amedala. Today I learned I have 2 more mental diseases. This and Tv snow in my eyes. To make it worse I have anxiety and the ringing noise, when it’s quieter. Wow. I might have ADHD too. Please pray for me in the comments, please.
too many time travellers
You should make a video on Arthnopophobia, I have and basically its a fear of other people
Thanks!
Thank you for the donation! :)
Wow, 31 mins ago? I'm usually not this early!
so i feel like i might have bpd because ive noticed for years these signs and always wondered whats wrong with me why do i feel like this but not sure if its because of depression or anxiety since im diagnosed with it as a sixteen year old and as this video explains about discouraged bpd i notice how my mood changes from being depressed for weeks or even a month then super out of the blue confident and happy and not showing definite signs of bpd as the generalized norm to pple diagnosed
Quite BPD is so accurate to me 😭
I was diagnosed with bipolar in January, went to therapy but couldn't afford it anymore after 3 months. Now I'm only on medications prescribed by psychiatrist. But for some reason BPD describes all my symptoms. What's the difference then? I think that video brought more confusion instead of clearance in mental disorders.
It’s often why consuming too much mental health content online is a bad thing in my opinion. Not only are the loudest voices about mental health on the internet often not actual experts, but usually vague symptoms that can apply to a number of things are often ascribed to specific disorders which people then self-diagnose with. Before you know it you have people walking around confused if they have ADHD, ASD, BPD, cPTSD, bipolar, etc etc or even worse claiming they have several or all of these things despite never having actually spoken to a professional. Mental health content is so diluted online with a vagueness that can’t make up for the nuance in every day people’s lives, and the spectrum of symptoms that these disorders manifest in.
Yeah, the video did the same for me...
I *think* BPD is more often diagnosed when people exhibit a pattern of behaviors that really harm or sabotage themselves and/or others (Or your relationships with others), alongside the mood swings, depression, and self-esteem issues you might get with just run-of-the-mill bipolar.
Per NIMH, these are some of the possible symptoms of BPD:
- Efforts to avoid real or perceived abandonment, such as plunging headfirst into relationships-or ending them just as quickly.
- A pattern of intense and unstable relationships with family, friends, and loved ones.
- A distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self.
- Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating. *Please note: If these behaviors happen mostly during times of elevated mood or energy, they may be symptoms of a mood disorder and not borderline personality disorder.*
- Self-harming behavior, such as cutting.
- Recurring thoughts of suicidal behaviors or threats.
- Intense and highly variable moods, with episodes lasting from a few hours to a few days.
- Chronic feelings of emptiness.
- Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger.
- Feelings of dissociation, such as feeling cut off from oneself, observing oneself from outside one’s body, or feelings of unreality.
❤❤
I think You said exactly
The hardest part is, everything seems so boring, life no longer has any importance.
wow, i am as confused as ever about myself
work hard bright
wowie there is... nothing
Hi, umm... I have a request.
Can you make a video on how to be respectful to other, or how to be polite to other People?
Because really, there's too many video on how to get respected but not with how to be respectful to other
I have yet to try any aid for BPD, including a diagnosis. I'll notify my pychiatrist or therapist once i have one in who knows how many years from now becuase there are either no spots left, a decade long waiting list or they dont want to work with me. :I
Because it does discribe me kinda well. All over the place, super unstable both emotionally and mentally (I am diagnosed with severe mental & emotional instability afterall) lack almost all drive and usually feel very empty and muted when i am not going hard into something. Like there is a minimum emotional response barrier that has been placed way too close to the sudden extreme reaction where its either i feel nothing atall or very strongly with nothing inbetween flipfopping at every kind of occasion.
DSM don't even recognise CPTSD which has ruined me my whole life.
This way medical industry can parasite on traumatized people, the easiest people to farm and milk for life.
Can you please provide me some sources of this information?
Google.
Thx Dear Souls, Important for me, coz He sayed He (infj infp) got diagnosed with bpd. But IT seems I can never be with Him, coz His mind fucks Up His Soul. Very sad. Shinji lost in His head. Bless His Soul. Greets Asuka.
U r saving lives
i have quiet bpd diagnosed why am I even watching😭
I am curious w the amount of folks that shared that they have adhd (i have it too), if there is a higher chance for them to also have a type of bpd? Like how i've heard there's higher chances of folks w adhd also having a learning disability (which i have two of, lucky me lol).
Also, sometimes i worry that i'm just a narcicisst. I really can't tell anymore bc we are living in a truly unhealthy society (i.e. capitalism and hyper-individualism). It's hard to tell if it's me, us, or "them" -them being ingrained aspects of society.
All i know is i want to be healthy and not insecure bc i know the harm that it has caused in my life. I'm going to bring this up w my therapist and see what she knows about dbt. Regardless of a diagnosis, it can't hurt to try another technique to help w all of my dsyregulation.
Hiii I’m a time traveler
What year?
I'm going to have to tell my therapist that I might have BPD
Thank you
i don't matter. why would you say that?
Due to ACoA experience.
Someone who's been mentally abused will:
- constantly apologize
- feeling not enough
- hide feelings
- hypersensitive to criticism
- breakdown during small disagreements
- need a lot of assurance
- struggle to put guard down
Nice video
Cant have instability of mood if you just suppress all feelings, that's the trick
Hey psych! Loooove the vids.
I have a crush on someone and I am pretty sure they do too.
How do I confirm?
Sounds more like erotomania.
My mom with BPD type one thinks I have it too, and I have adhd
Abnormal serotonin levels?
I’m not really sure anymore…..
Hi pyschygo. What about Cptsd? Can you explain that to us please?
Have bpd and bipolar, but because i have it- i can't make my life better due to the fucking medical system that is supposed to help me, if an unstable person is unstable on all things but one, is that not the core of that persons being? Let me explain, its like this: im telling you, this is who i am, these are the things im having a hard time with, And then you scribble some stick figure on a paper, then proceed to tell me that im not who i am and that my struggles aren't the problem.. like wtf, wtf i need a new shrink.
I hear you, my daughter is bipolar and I'm CPTSD with BPD stemming from that
It's a hard road. I understand.
Nope I’m just insecure. This is a tad extreme.
I put this on another vid but I was 2 late could you please do an video on what girls see in guys or how to let your crush know you exist cause I'm in high school
and homecoming is on the 20th and I don't know what to do
Thank you for all you doing
Just be yourself. Pretending to be something you're not will land you into trouble later on because you will be promising something you cannot keep. And that is another word for being a liar and fake.
@@ranc1977 Thanks smart person and do girls like it if you play video game or if your clumsy i doubt the last one but THANK YOU
@@TheGreatestAdventurer2007 When your self-image is adequate and one that you can be wholesomely proud of, you feel self-confident. You feel free to "be yourself" and to express yourself. You function at your optimum.
Maxwell Maltz
@@ranc1977thankyou for insperation and now all i need to do it be able to talk to her with out stoping when i get there but thank you
i want to cry this isnt fair i want this to be not me i wont accept it its not okay for it to be me pls😢😢😢 im probablu seeming extra bpd bc im thinking ab it 😢 how do i make it go awwwyy
I have BPD and my life is..
Im going to find these secret cameras
Can you please do a UA-cam video about signs of celiac disease?😉💚 love your UA-cam channel😎🫶🏽
Quiet bpd is real??
I have it I’m
Not normal I. Just going to jump
Good idea
shut up, it's not funny@@1unsung971
Don't think you're the only person with something wrong about them, no one is perfect, and you deserve to be loved
GAY
this is #me
When you have a hammer in your hand, you start to see nails everywhere. The symptoms listed are non-specific and describe many forms of mood troubles. I appreciate that the scientists are sincere but this has signs of sciencism.
damn im really fucked up
Welp… guess I’ve got both then… anyway gonna go cry cu
Lee Thomas Jones Cynthia Gonzalez Dorothy
2 Tim 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind.
How do you time travel. for real! lol
Patreon
By using his butt.
No timestamps today guys sorry
Thanks for always jumping to help :)
@@Psych2go not a problem happy to help
I feel like I might have this but since this is not included in the DSM-5 and not a real diagnosis I don't think I have this.
My opinions and feelings can change rapidly, frequently and drastically in a very short amount of time.
I have this cycle of pushing people away because I strive to be independent and to prove a point but then after coming back to rely on them because everything in solitude becomes so overwhelming.
I don't know what I want. I don't know myself.
I can be overly indecisive, harbor catastrophization(minimizing and magnifying) and black-and-white thinking, AKA all-or-nothing thinking.
When compared to people who actually have BPD, the more well known type I don't feel valid. I lack impulsivity and have never been hospitalized. I just would deny having it.
Remember not to self diagnose y’all. See how low the diagnosis rate is¿ Yes we all experience at least one of these things but you can’t really know or begin to have real recovery until you meet with a psychiatrist or a therapist who is licensed to diagnose. ❤
Hi I hope u reply
I replied. Yay. Have a goodday and night freind 😇
nice another disorder i got
Bro you are the biggest manipulator i know 😭 (not related to this specific video its just the most recent)
Oh look, some more people who stay up late.
GUYS ITS MONDAY TOMORROW GO TO SLEEP.
I work from home, but, yeah, it always surprised me how this channel posts so late at night lol. Sometimes, it’s not a good idea because I don’t want new mental health information that late lol even if I don’t have to watch it
Бедненький
HEY GOOD EVENING MY FRIENDS, I HAVE A QUESTION ❓ WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOUR PARENT TREAT YOU LIKE A OUT CAST AND JUST WANT YOU TO DO WHAT SHE WANT DONE, 🖕 TREAT ME JUST OR DON'T TREAT ME AT ALL , I CAN RELATE TO THIS TOPIC 💯 PERCENT, PLEASE KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS. SLEEP WELL MY FRIENDS AND TOXIC FAMILY. TEE 🙏💯🙏💙💪