My therapist once said: anxiety is like a bully. If you try to avoid him, reason with him, appease him, beg him, he will kick the shit out of you and ruin your life day after day until you don't have a life no more. But if you start looking him in the eye and say "FUCK YOU, do your worst, I can take it" and you mean it, he may beat you once or twice but after a while he'll let you be. You might even become friends over time.
You have helped so many people with sharing this. Honestly, bless you and thank you very much, this is the point of view that people need. The trust in self and getting tired of your own reaction to problems and having the strength to stand up and fight against the things that are suffocating you. It ain't easy, but many of us need to hear this. Seriously, thank you! :)
Excellent words of wisdom, it took me over 10 years to realise that fighting Anxiety only makes it worse. The analogy your therapist used is absolutely spot on, if only this was more common for people to hear
I feel like it does sort of go away a lot more though overtime.. you learn to lessen it a lot like he’s saying.. which can transform some situations so they’re exciting instead of dreadful : )
My neurologist once told me 70% of what I thought was physical issues was anxiety. Told me to exercise till I sweated to release endorphins. I'm 68 and I fast walk 2 miles every day and do other exercises. Completely changed my life!
1. Breathing techniques 2. Meditation 3. Talk to somebody 4. Negative visualization 5. Host a tequila orgy Slow truth: You don't get rid of anxiety, you just get better dealing with it
@@Targus28 I guarantee “overcame” meant better at dealing with it, not it’s total disappearance. No one gets rid of anxiety forever. Shit happens. You probably just didn’t see it appear outwardly anymore.
I am psychologist and this video is one of the best video and advice people could get: honest, direct, simple truths that works. Thank you for sharing this Mark, i love your books and your writings. A huge hug and much blessings from Argentina
Awesome advice dude. Here is what has worked for me: 1. Relax your abdominals. I heard that it is not possible to be anxious and have your abdominal muscles relaxed. Seems to work. At worst, it gets you thinking of something else. 2. Stand up straight and look around. The anxiety wheel rolls best when your vision is static or out of focus and your attention is "in your head", usually hunched and looking down. This also inhibits the deep breathing. Standing up straight, chin up, opens airways and gives your attention here and now things to focus on/think about. 3. Breathe. Mark covered this beautifully. 4. Get in touch with senses. Focus on the feeling of any sensation, sound, sight, smell etc. Your senses are now - present moment. Grounding in the present shuts down most anxieties as in my experience they are usually set in some future scenario. Your senses are immediate, compelling, and something else to focus on. When you are anxious, your thoughts are looping back to the start, and each loop builds a little emotion which does not have a chance to dissipate before the next loop adds some more. Anything that can break this loop and take an off-ramp to something else is gonna be helpful. Planning a tequila orgy is a great way to get off the circular track, unless of course tequila orgies make you anxious. Then you may instead prefer to plan a vodka orgy instead.
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I didn't think this would get to me so much. But in the vid when you said 'Stop freakin' out dude. It's gonna be fine', I surprisingly felt comforted and reassured. Thanks for that, friend.
Hey Mark! Just a tip for the video. In the description, you put "1. Utilizing Breath Techniques 3:18", but if you write it like "3:18 - 1. Utilizing Breath Techniques", it will make chapters in the time bar (or whatever it's called). Love your content! Peace!
This was spectacularly on point! I am a therapist, mother and professional friend. So much anxiety these days, or at least it now has a name. I have been thinking on the power of positivity situation many have gotten ourselves into these days. It does set up these unreal expectations and truthfully we SHould expect to feel disappointed and shitty sometimes. Some things Should be difficult, it's life. When that surprises us or catches us off guard, it's trouble. Thanks, Michelle
@@jasonlieberman4606 I get that, I was like that, but it’s not sustainable man, it’ll sap the joy out of the good moments and you staying on edge really won’t change much when the bad happens.
I have anxiety disorder....and yes - all of these methods work really well. I have also found that if I turn to the person next to me and confess "I am having a massive anxiety attack - If I act strange, don't worry about it." For some reason, just doing that makes the attack stop.
@Carbunkle56 what is real strength? What is power? Is there any human being who is not afraid and insecure? There r always levels of insecurity of course but the only real strength is saying that ur afraid that u Don t have everything worked out, admitting it. Trying to show strength and cool ( which as we v said is sth that does not exist really for anybody) is a utopian lie, so u r driven away from universal truth and u become more imbalanced, that is more insecure
Depends on the type of anxiety you have but exposure therapy works really well where you confront your fears it takes a long time but every time you try and even fail you will be proud of yourself and only improve in the long run
My counselled told me not confronting your anxiety is like filling a barn filled with hay until it’s so full it explodes and all your emotions you’ve been bottling up come flooding through the gates. The method I was taught to use and work for myself personally is the breathing techniques and talking to my anxiety telling it there’s no reasons to be here, that I’m safe, and that it can F off.
By far..... hands down..... the best video for anxiety. This should on our feeds and gain more views than most other videos. Glad , i was fortunate enough to have viewed it. Great work Mark.
Two things helped with mine: Medication, and surviving worse than my worst case scenario. Once I survived something I thought for sure I never would, nothing scares me anymore.
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I woke up just now at 6am with a panic attack, body itching all over and hungry but I’m also very sleepy because of my medications I took at 5am… the first thing I did was to eat anything and watch anything to clear my head, I just knew typing ‘Mark Manson Anxiety’ would be a smart move, and I was not disappointed… this is even the first video of you I watch to so with anxiety. Thank you man, and for not cutting the intro so relating to you helps even better.
That's such a great point about being too positive because you can really set yourself up for disappointment! I like your take on what's the worst that can happen? Most of the times it's not that serious and with anxiety, I can overthink way too much! 🙃
Commenting here just because you said you feel nervous every time you turn the camera on. I love your videos Mark so keep up the good work! (feeling kinda anxious to press comment button right now)
I am watching this a year after you made the video, and I just sent it off to my twenty-something son, who is transitioning from teenager to adult. Thank you for putting together such quality information. This is a great video. All the best.
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Honestly, just thinking today about why Mark is not uploading any videos and life is getting dull and suddenly boom 💣 he is back after 1 freakin month! Nyc to see u after long time.
I love the harsh truth of the day. The best way to deal with emotions is to get used to them and treat them as mere emotions. What's the worst that can happen, right!
Me sobbing on the phone, "mom! I made a joke and the Barrista didn't laugh, and now I feel stupid!" My mom: "son, you're 35 years old, and you' have a wife and a daughter. Grow the f* up, and stop hitting on Barristas" Me: "thanks mom, I really needed to hear that..."
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Thank you for your content. You have no idea how much your videos (and books) helped me cope with all the violent experiences of the pandemic in my country. I always look forward to what you put out next.
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I love this man content. The first time I knew about his book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, I thought the content would be punch of opinions or advices that applies to some cases but not all. I thought the content would be something he learnt throughout the years but didn’t sit down to just think about it in depth and analyze it. But now that I start watching his videos, I know that he is definitely a deep thinker, a philosopher, and quite knowledgeable, and that’s what makes a good writer a good writer in my opinion. he’s someone who would dig deep into the roots of the problem and give solutions for it. I bought his book few weeks ago, and now I want to buy his newest one.
In short, techniques are: 1. Utilizing breathing techniques, like 4-7-8 technique: a) breathing in for 4s b) holding your breath for 7s c) blowing for 8s 2. Meditation: just start doing it for 5 minutes. There is no wrong way of mediation. An incredible result of meditation can be (e.g.): I feel angry, but I don't feel acting on it. 3. Talk to somebody. Boats are less probable to flip over, when they are connected to each other. 4. Negative visualization. Imagine the worst case scenario, and then imagine how you will be ok with all of it. It's counter-intuitive, but thinking positive can make anxiety worse, because it raises the expectations. 5. Hosting a Tequila Orgy (What the hell! 😂) The important fact: You don't get rid of anxiety, you get better at dealing with it. So the way to battle anxiety in the long run is not to feel less anxious, or get rid of your emotions, but it's to improve your self! Getting better at stuff! Getting better at handling anxiety.
I was suffering from really disgusting anxiety, I was so mad at it, it was stopping me from being the relaxed person I always have been. Let me tell you what finally cure me: acupuncture! Yes, I can not say that I do not feel anxious anymore but at least now it doesn't hurt it doesn't stop me. 100%/recomended !
Finally I hear something different. I been practicing that negative thing for a while now, without knowing about it. I just start accepting the worst possible outcome as an option. Is like surrendering yourself and let it go
Hi Mark I have a bit of a downer question. What about vague anxiety? That is not tied to any performance or action or acceptance by others. You have many things that others are anxious about. A partner that you love and that loves you. Financial security and freedom. Kids and friends. And I am sure you appreciate and love all of these things. Still, it seems you are about as anxious about existence or whatever as me, a 23 years old politics student from Europe with very little to his name. And this made me think: I still have this anxiety now, even though I do have much healthier relationships with friends and family etc. I think when were young its easy to tie anxiety to the lack of something 'on the path' to happiness. For me, this would be a partner and some professional success/appreciation/whatever. Intuitively, and based on what you so often discuss, I would say this is a logical fallacy. Its just so interesting to me that we can cleary say we would be worse off without the things we have but are then kind of dumbstruck by feeling the need for more or different once we are "there". Anyways youre much appreciated, thanks for all the insights and stupid jokes that I love very much. Cheers
The wrong choices can bring us to the right places. The biggest failures often carry the best lessons. When you fail to get what you want, consider that it just might be a blessing in disguise. It’s funny how we outgrow what we once thought we couldn’t live without, and then we fall in love with what we didn’t even know we wanted. Eventually you’ll end up where you need to be, doing the right things, alongside the right people. Patience and persistence are the key. But don’t forget to pause on occasion and appreciate how far you’ve come too. You’ve been through a lot, and you’ve grown a lot. Give yourself credit for the steps you’ve taken, so you can step forward again with grace!!! All details aside, the goal in the year ahead is to grow so strong on the inside that nothing on the outside can affect your inner wellness without your conscious permission. It’s about letting go of fantasies, accepting reality, having faith in your journey, and appreciating all the little things that are within your reach. As you continue to progress forward, do your best to avoid letting anyone or anything clutter your peace of mind. Live a life that moves you and makes you smile every day. Because you don’t want to get to the end, or to tomorrow even, and realize that your life is merely a collection of stressful expectations and “somedays” and errands and receipts and empty promises. You CAN choose differently! You CAN step through each day with grace… The phoenix must burn to EMERGE. May Peace permeate your LIFE Ed
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This is such an important video. I love the intro and your randomness. Anxiety sucks and right now during the pandemic it is insane how it is literally everywhere.
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I've had PTSD & anxiety for most of my life thanks to a fucked up childhood. A few yrs ago meditation pretty much got rid of my social anxiety. I can now meet & talk to ppl & look them in the eyes. Meditation works in the long run. Just keep at it. Unfortunately I've since been diagnosed with something called hyperparathyroidism which causes high blood pressure & anxiety. It is a physical thing which is not always caused by "negative thoughts" & is too stubborn for just mindfulness & breathing. I'm on medication which helps but I still get "attacks" a couple times a week. I use music, YT vids & an online puzzle game as immediate distractions. Going for a walk with their dog helps some ppl. Good luck to all.
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I think the reason we are getting more anxiety is that life is becoming so relaxed and quiet, less interactions, and our million-year--body-memory remembers that out in the deep jungles whenever there was quiet and peace, it was always danger somewhere waiting in the woods
Great video Mark, but I found that points 3+ deal more with dealing with fear than anxiety. I find that 1 & 2 help with anxiety, but for 3+ you have to know *what's* causing the fear to implement. With anxiety, you often don't know what's causing it. That's my biggest problem, anyway. All the best!
For posting another GOLD content, I have bestowed upon you an unskipped ad for your adsense moolah. But seriously, thank you Mark, always looking forward to your new moving picture with sounds.
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I honestly searched for 'tips from Mark Manson on dealing with anxiety' earlier today, and now this video pops up. Do I get payment for the video idea?
Another great technique is to ask yourself where exactly the anxiety is in your body. Only after locating it - it can be in your stomach, in your head, in your legs, etc.- you take a couple of deep breaths and sort of let it go physically. Helps A LOT and may be used for other negative emotions as well.
Negative vizualization reminds me of 'defensive pessimism'. I don't think it's completely the same but it's close. Just wanted to share another term for the folks who would want to search further. Very nice video Mark, thanks.
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For all you no-lifers with no friends to talk to when having an anxiety, just make an audio log on your phone where you talk about what is happening (as if you would to someone else), the important part is to vocalize what is inside so that the rest of your body/brain can deal with it. It can be awkward but it works. Bonus points if you actually listen to it later on. At least it helped me.
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Thank god you have these tips I used to do all those shit but I CANNOT STAND the flowery way most self help people go about this stuff because I’ve been through a lot of trauma Thankful for you
Those outtakes at the beginning. I never show anyone that stuff! But that's how all of my recorded videos start - and just about every sentence out of my mouth along the way. I love how you incorporated them into the video itself. Nice.
”Amusingly enough, one of the most common ways people cope with anxiety is by worrying about it. In fact, worrying can help calm the limbic system by increasing medial prefrontal activity and decreasing activity in the amygdala. That might seem counterintuitive, but it just goes to show that if you’re feeling anxiety, doing something about it-even worrying-is better than doing nothing.” from the book The Upward Spiral
Imagining the worst-case scenario has helped me soooo much. Even if I imagine the worssttt (unlikely) scenario, I can imagine myself being fine in the end and okay.
My counsellor recently helped me with something. I was worried about: am I making the right decision? What if it's wrong? What if I'm crazy for trying this, etc etc. She said: why do you have to figure this all out right now? You're not in danger and none of these are urgent things you need to figure out. All of these things I'm anxious about and hearing "you don't have to figure it out right now" just deflated the urgency of them in my head
*"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all."*-Dale Carnegie Hope this can motivate or inspire some people, just trying my best to help others as a small channel 💙
I would give you a million likes if I could. Feel like this video was made for me. Excellent mate... And I will tell my girlfriend about that tequila idea, I let you know ;)
I would say that humor is a really good coping mechanism, um..and I personally prescribe to escapism, which for me is not drinking n drugs but reading, learning, watching this vid, and gaming out. It's like blissing out. I do "come back" and turn my attention back to things by writing in my journal. Etc etc. I think because my Mother was a harpie who would run around like chicken little shrieking "the sky is falling, the SKY is falling " and I remember being very chill and stoic through many of her stress inducing episodes...but cptsd slowly builds. Kids, this is how you develop anxiety disorders. I am always interested in new ways of thinking and growing, I no longer allow my peace to be broken by having contact with people who have low eq who deliberately try to fuck with me. But I still have a ways to go. Thank you for your vids I just stumbled on this but I'm excited.
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Technique no.4 rn. The thing I learned about confidence is no matter what level you have, its an act. It's an act because you're never really in control of any situation. Your confidence comes from experience, and having performed the act enough that it's second nature. I can go to the bar right now, make new acquaintances go home with a girl. That audience is easy because they don't matter to me. There's this woman I've known for years. You know how I know she matters? Because I get fuckin anxious when I talk to her. I just watched this video. I wished Id have come across it a few days ago because it'd have been useful. But I came to the realization that if I want to overcome that anxiety and not fuckin blow it with this woman, then I have to imagine what my life would be like if I already had. I would find someone else. That took a good chunk of anxiety out of the equation.
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This man has no filter thats why we love him
:D
Straight to the face unfiltered
It's the truth 💕
Yesss
Due to my repression growing up - yep - love it
My therapist once said:
anxiety is like a bully. If you try to avoid him, reason with him, appease him, beg him, he will kick the shit out of you and ruin your life day after day until you don't have a life no more. But if you start looking him in the eye and say "FUCK YOU, do your worst, I can take it" and you mean it, he may beat you once or twice but after a while he'll let you be. You might even become friends over time.
@Marianne if I'm still alive and fighting is thanks to him.
Oh my God this is brilliant. And works for so many thinking distortions! 👏👏👏👏
Omg that was awesome, thank you for sharing!
You have helped so many people with sharing this. Honestly, bless you and thank you very much, this is the point of view that people need. The trust in self and getting tired of your own reaction to problems and having the strength to stand up and fight against the things that are suffocating you. It ain't easy, but many of us need to hear this. Seriously, thank you! :)
Excellent words of wisdom, it took me over 10 years to realise that fighting Anxiety only makes it worse. The analogy your therapist used is absolutely spot on, if only this was more common for people to hear
We suffer more often in imagination than in reality. -Seneca
HELL YES!
Well i'd prefer ....just imagining getting my hand hit by a big hammer, then getting really hit by it in Reality. lol lol
Thank you for sharing this. Great quote.
Aah! Yeah
Wow this is true. On the outside, life is doing great. Inside my head though, CHAOS.
“You don’t get rid of anxiety. You just get better at dealing with it.” Shit hit me hard.
I feel like it does sort of go away a lot more though overtime.. you learn to lessen it a lot like he’s saying.. which can transform some situations so they’re exciting instead of dreadful : )
My neurologist once told me 70% of what I thought was physical issues was anxiety. Told me to exercise till I sweated to release endorphins. I'm 68 and I fast walk 2 miles every day and do other exercises. Completely changed my life!
No, they don't mean that because - guess what - the world doesn't actually revolve around you.
@@AScreengazer my comment went straight over your head. like, whoooooosh!
@@shahir1395 hey if it makes you feel better your comment made me chuckle
1. Breathing techniques
2. Meditation
3. Talk to somebody
4. Negative visualization
5. Host a tequila orgy
Slow truth: You don't get rid of anxiety, you just get better dealing with it
Always looking for who has summarized it - Thanks
Bullshit. I know a few people who were very anxious in there 20s and overcame by there early 30s.
@@Targus28 I guarantee “overcame” meant better at dealing with it, not it’s total disappearance. No one gets rid of anxiety forever. Shit happens. You probably just didn’t see it appear outwardly anymore.
the orgy worked for me
I gotta wait to complete my vaccination for that orgy
I am psychologist and this video is one of the best video and advice people could get: honest, direct, simple truths that works. Thank you for sharing this Mark, i love your books and your writings. A huge hug and much blessings from Argentina
Verdad mi amigo
que haces campeon del mundo? ahre
“If you’re looking for that special somebody to change your whole life, look no further than the mirror.” ✌🏽
Pretty sure that’s a Michael Jackson song
Awesome advice dude. Here is what has worked for me:
1. Relax your abdominals. I heard that it is not possible to be anxious and have your abdominal muscles relaxed. Seems to work. At worst, it gets you thinking of something else.
2. Stand up straight and look around. The anxiety wheel rolls best when your vision is static or out of focus and your attention is "in your head", usually hunched and looking down. This also inhibits the deep breathing. Standing up straight, chin up, opens airways and gives your attention here and now things to focus on/think about.
3. Breathe. Mark covered this beautifully.
4. Get in touch with senses. Focus on the feeling of any sensation, sound, sight, smell etc. Your senses are now - present moment. Grounding in the present shuts down most anxieties as in my experience they are usually set in some future scenario. Your senses are immediate, compelling, and something else to focus on.
When you are anxious, your thoughts are looping back to the start, and each loop builds a little emotion which does not have a chance to dissipate before the next loop adds some more. Anything that can break this loop and take an off-ramp to something else is gonna be helpful. Planning a tequila orgy is a great way to get off the circular track, unless of course tequila orgies make you anxious. Then you may instead prefer to plan a vodka orgy instead.
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"He who fears he shall suffer, already suffers what he fears"-
Ancient Chinese dude
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I think that's Montaigne, the French writer. Maybe another Chinese dude said something similar.
The translation into English makes no sense
I didn't think this would get to me so much. But in the vid when you said 'Stop freakin' out dude. It's gonna be fine', I surprisingly felt comforted and reassured. Thanks for that, friend.
Hey Mark! Just a tip for the video. In the description, you put "1. Utilizing Breath Techniques 3:18", but if you write it like "3:18 - 1. Utilizing Breath Techniques", it will make chapters in the time bar (or whatever it's called).
Love your content! Peace!
And anxiety is just another emotion in the spectrum of human emotion. We're all gonna meet it some day
"Stop freaking out dude, Its gonna be fine" This is where I became most happy!
same
me too
Its smth like "youre homeless? Just buy a home" lol
What if...
This was spectacularly on point! I am a therapist, mother and professional friend. So much anxiety these days, or at least it now has a name. I have been thinking on the power of positivity situation many have gotten ourselves into these days. It does set up these unreal expectations and truthfully we SHould expect to feel disappointed and shitty sometimes. Some things Should be difficult, it's life. When that surprises us or catches us off guard, it's trouble. Thanks, Michelle
Anxiety is one of the worst feelings, when your brain keeps tricking you into believing something bad is about to happen!
Or it's already happening, you just don't see it yet
@@gaborcsernak2627 yaaahh but it might not actually be bad. Might just be scary or something new or uncomfortable
All of worst most terrible things always happen every time. So I'mma just stay on edge perpetually
@@jasonlieberman4606 I get that, I was like that, but it’s not sustainable man, it’ll sap the joy out of the good moments and you staying on edge really won’t change much when the bad happens.
I'm slowly overcoming my anxiety every single day.
Mark, your channel is so refreshing! I appreciate the no bullshit attitude.
This video helped me a lot and I loved your book. Congrats, man 🍻
I have anxiety disorder....and yes - all of these methods work really well. I have also found that if I turn to the person next to me and confess "I am having a massive anxiety attack - If I act strange, don't worry about it." For some reason, just doing that makes the attack stop.
Bc u show vulnerability which is the only real strength. Trying to be cool is actually weakness and unrealistic and it causes anxiety
Thanks
@@stefaniakonstantinidou981 That sounds interesting. Can you expand on that some?
@Carbunkle56 what is real strength? What is power? Is there any human being who is not afraid and insecure? There r always levels of insecurity of course but the only real strength is saying that ur afraid that u Don t have everything worked out, admitting it. Trying to show strength and cool ( which as we v said is sth that does not exist really for anybody) is a utopian lie, so u r driven away from universal truth and u become more imbalanced, that is more insecure
Depends on the type of anxiety you have but exposure therapy works really well where you confront your fears it takes a long time but every time you try and even fail you will be proud of yourself and only improve in the long run
My counselled told me not confronting your anxiety is like filling a barn filled with hay until it’s so full it explodes and all your emotions you’ve been bottling up come flooding through the gates. The method I was taught to use and work for myself personally is the breathing techniques and talking to my anxiety telling it there’s no reasons to be here, that I’m safe, and that it can F off.
By far..... hands down..... the best video for anxiety.
This should on our feeds and gain more views than most other videos.
Glad , i was fortunate enough to have viewed it.
Great work Mark.
Two things helped with mine: Medication, and surviving worse than my worst case scenario. Once I survived something I thought for sure I never would, nothing scares me anymore.
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I woke up just now at 6am with a panic attack, body itching all over and hungry but I’m also very sleepy because of my medications I took at 5am… the first thing I did was to eat anything and watch anything to clear my head, I just knew typing ‘Mark Manson Anxiety’ would be a smart move, and I was not disappointed… this is even the first video of you I watch to so with anxiety. Thank you man, and for not cutting the intro so relating to you helps even better.
"Making a big life change is pretty scary. But, you know what's even scarier? Regret."*
Wishing you all a great day as a small channel 💙
That's such a great point about being too positive because you can really set yourself up for disappointment! I like your take on what's the worst that can happen? Most of the times it's not that serious and with anxiety, I can overthink way too much! 🙃
Commenting here just because you said you feel nervous every time you turn the camera on. I love your videos Mark so keep up the good work! (feeling kinda anxious to press comment button right now)
I am watching this a year after you made the video, and I just sent it off to my twenty-something son, who is transitioning from teenager to adult. Thank you for putting together such quality information. This is a great video. All the best.
Anxiety is the dynamic tension that motivates us, for better or worse, depending on how we perceive and contend with it. An engaging video.
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Love the mix of comedy, realism, irreverence, sincerity and sound advice...
Honestly, just thinking today about why Mark is not uploading any videos and life is getting dull and suddenly boom 💣 he is back after 1 freakin month! Nyc to see u after long time.
I love the harsh truth of the day. The best way to deal with emotions is to get used to them and treat them as mere emotions. What's the worst that can happen, right!
Me sobbing on the phone, "mom! I made a joke and the Barrista didn't laugh, and now I feel stupid!"
My mom: "son, you're 35 years old, and you' have a wife and a daughter. Grow the f* up, and stop hitting on Barristas"
Me: "thanks mom, I really needed to hear that..."
This got to be one of the best videos I've watched on anxiety. EVER. And I've seen quite a few of those because I'm anxious AF
*"The next chapter of your life has not been written yet, you hold the pen. Write the story you want to read."*
Love from a small UA-camr 💙
In the middle of a job search. Really needed the "Stop freaking out dude, it's gonna be fine". Thanks man.
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That intro, you're finally learning the ways of the youtubes
I have never watched something as humorous and relevant as this for a long time😄😄
Thank you for your content. You have no idea how much your videos (and books) helped me cope with all the violent experiences of the pandemic in my country. I always look forward to what you put out next.
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I love this man content. The first time I knew about his book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, I thought the content would be punch of opinions or advices that applies to some cases but not all. I thought the content would be something he learnt throughout the years but didn’t sit down to just think about it in depth and analyze it. But now that I start watching his videos, I know that he is definitely a deep thinker, a philosopher, and quite knowledgeable, and that’s what makes a good writer a good writer in my opinion. he’s someone who would dig deep into the roots of the problem and give solutions for it. I bought his book few weeks ago, and now I want to buy his newest one.
In short, techniques are:
1. Utilizing breathing techniques, like 4-7-8 technique:
a) breathing in for 4s
b) holding your breath for 7s
c) blowing for 8s
2. Meditation: just start doing it for 5 minutes. There is no wrong way of mediation.
An incredible result of meditation can be (e.g.): I feel angry, but I don't feel acting on it.
3. Talk to somebody.
Boats are less probable to flip over, when they are connected to each other.
4. Negative visualization.
Imagine the worst case scenario, and then imagine how you will be ok with all of it.
It's counter-intuitive, but thinking positive can make anxiety worse, because it raises the expectations.
5. Hosting a Tequila Orgy (What the hell! 😂)
The important fact:
You don't get rid of anxiety, you get better at dealing with it.
So the way to battle anxiety in the long run is not to feel less anxious, or get rid of your emotions, but it's to improve your self! Getting better at stuff! Getting better at handling anxiety.
I was suffering from really disgusting anxiety, I was so mad at it, it was stopping me from being the relaxed person I always have been. Let me tell you what finally cure me: acupuncture! Yes, I can not say that I do not feel anxious anymore but at least now it doesn't hurt it doesn't stop me. 100%/recomended !
I was going to send this to my kid cousin suffering with anxiety and then you said tequila orgy and I have to make a choice now...
Humor is a great antidote as well :)
Haha, me too. Luckily mine is 14 so he’ll just laugh when he hears that part. I think the video will help though so I’m going to show him. 💚
It's good to get him ready for adult life.
@@Terra101 I do not know about you but, I did not get into many tequila orgies on my adult life.
@@raulsantandertirado4400 hahahahah
Finally I hear something different. I been practicing that negative thing for a while now, without knowing about it. I just start accepting the worst possible outcome as an option. Is like surrendering yourself and let it go
Finished both books, man has it changed how I perceive life. So hilarious, relatable and eye-opening.
Hi Mark I have a bit of a downer question. What about vague anxiety? That is not tied to any performance or action or acceptance by others. You have many things that others are anxious about. A partner that you love and that loves you. Financial security and freedom. Kids and friends. And I am sure you appreciate and love all of these things. Still, it seems you are about as anxious about existence or whatever as me, a 23 years old politics student from Europe with very little to his name. And this made me think: I still have this anxiety now, even though I do have much healthier relationships with friends and family etc. I think when were young its easy to tie anxiety to the lack of something 'on the path' to happiness. For me, this would be a partner and some professional success/appreciation/whatever. Intuitively, and based on what you so often discuss, I would say this is a logical fallacy. Its just so interesting to me that we can cleary say we would be worse off without the things we have but are then kind of dumbstruck by feeling the need for more or different once we are "there". Anyways youre much appreciated, thanks for all the insights and stupid jokes that I love very much. Cheers
Your transparency is GOLD!
The wrong choices can bring us to the right places. The biggest failures often carry the best lessons. When you fail to get what you want, consider that it just might be a blessing in disguise.
It’s funny how we outgrow what we once thought we couldn’t live without, and then we fall in love with what we didn’t even know we wanted. Eventually you’ll end up where you need to be, doing the right things, alongside the right people. Patience and persistence are the key. But don’t forget to pause on occasion and appreciate how far you’ve come too. You’ve been through a lot, and you’ve grown a lot. Give yourself credit for the steps you’ve taken, so you can step forward again with grace!!!
All details aside, the goal in the year ahead is to grow so strong on the inside that nothing on the outside can affect your inner wellness without your conscious permission.
It’s about letting go of fantasies, accepting reality, having faith in your journey, and appreciating all the little things that are within your reach.
As you continue to progress forward, do your best to avoid letting anyone or anything clutter your peace of mind. Live a life that moves you and makes you smile every day. Because you don’t want to get to the end, or to tomorrow even, and realize that your life is merely a collection of stressful expectations and “somedays” and errands and receipts and empty promises.
You CAN choose differently!
You CAN step through each day with grace…
The phoenix must burn to EMERGE.
May Peace permeate your LIFE
Ed
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It’s amazing how a person with such simplistic, commonplace ideas and an adolescent vocabulary can have the success that he has.
This is such an important video. I love the intro and your randomness. Anxiety sucks and right now during the pandemic it is insane how it is literally everywhere.
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I've had PTSD & anxiety for most of my life thanks to a fucked up childhood. A few yrs ago meditation pretty much got rid of my social anxiety. I can now meet & talk to ppl & look them in the eyes. Meditation works in the long run. Just keep at it.
Unfortunately I've since been diagnosed with something called hyperparathyroidism which causes high blood pressure & anxiety. It is a physical thing which is not always caused by "negative thoughts" & is too stubborn for just mindfulness & breathing. I'm on medication which helps but I still get "attacks" a couple times a week. I use music, YT vids & an online puzzle game as immediate distractions. Going for a walk with their dog helps some ppl. Good luck to all.
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I think the reason we are getting more anxiety is that life is becoming so relaxed and quiet, less interactions, and our million-year--body-memory remembers that out in the deep jungles whenever there was quiet and peace, it was always danger somewhere waiting in the woods
Mark Manson, my favorite free online therapist, this world can't get any better !!
Wow, ur back, been waiting for this for a long time
Talking to people I like helps me the most. It totally distracts my mind. It calms and soothes me a lot.
Great video Mark, but I found that points 3+ deal more with dealing with fear than anxiety. I find that 1 & 2 help with anxiety, but for 3+ you have to know *what's* causing the fear to implement. With anxiety, you often don't know what's causing it. That's my biggest problem, anyway.
All the best!
Honestly this is by far my best self help video
Love your humour and down-to-earth-ness. Thanks for the tips!
For posting another GOLD content, I have bestowed upon you an unskipped ad for your adsense moolah. But seriously, thank you Mark, always looking forward to your new moving picture with sounds.
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13:53 Mark you made me laugh after 20 days..
This made me feel better. Thank you man 👍🏼
Omg! You took the worst day of my life and turned it into the best! Thanx
That last part about getting better at stuff instead of trying to control anxiety
Thank you for what you said about being overly optimistic!
I am so grateful for you.
I honestly searched for 'tips from Mark Manson on dealing with anxiety' earlier today, and now this video pops up. Do I get payment for the video idea?
Another great technique is to ask yourself where exactly the anxiety is in your body. Only after locating it - it can be in your stomach, in your head, in your legs, etc.- you take a couple of deep breaths and sort of let it go physically. Helps A LOT and may be used for other negative emotions as well.
Damn I’m early. Thank you Mark! I’m excited for this one. 😌😎
Hmm
Negative vizualization reminds me of 'defensive pessimism'. I don't think it's completely the same but it's close. Just wanted to share another term for the folks who would want to search further. Very nice video Mark, thanks.
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I am so anxious I can't wait till the end for "the slow way". :p
And youtubers can never appreciate this gold as he deserves.....
For all you no-lifers with no friends to talk to when having an anxiety, just make an audio log on your phone where you talk about what is happening (as if you would to someone else), the important part is to vocalize what is inside so that the rest of your body/brain can deal with it. It can be awkward but it works. Bonus points if you actually listen to it later on. At least it helped me.
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You are making change in the world mark, I love you man
Lindo
@@himanshushah6588 yes brother ✅❤️
Por essa eu não esperava heh
@@amir9114 I’m sure you’re not his wife😂
@@ohboi6210 hahah I'm not boy she is are you okay? 😂😂😂
@@amir9114 that’s the joke
Thank god you have these tips
I used to do all those shit but I CANNOT STAND the flowery way most self help people go about this stuff because I’ve been through a lot of trauma
Thankful for you
lol hearing Mark mention PewDiePie was strangely unexpected. Now I imagine him watching pewds Minecraft Hardcore series.
He is real and thats what needed in reality!
First 30 seconds had me dying, props to your editor
Those outtakes at the beginning. I never show anyone that stuff! But that's how all of my recorded videos start - and just about every sentence out of my mouth along the way. I love how you incorporated them into the video itself. Nice.
Action reduces anxiety. Do something about what you are anxious about.
”Amusingly enough, one of the most common ways people cope with anxiety is by worrying about it. In fact, worrying can help calm the limbic system by increasing medial prefrontal activity and decreasing activity in the amygdala. That might seem counterintuitive, but it just goes to show that if you’re feeling anxiety, doing something about it-even worrying-is better than doing nothing.” from the book The Upward Spiral
Imagining the worst-case scenario has helped me soooo much. Even if I imagine the worssttt (unlikely) scenario, I can imagine myself being fine in the end and okay.
"There's no tyrant like a brain."
- L. F. Céline
I LOVE the start of this video
15:01 "it´s gonna be fine."
*remembers negative visualization*
:0
8.00 or nearby is the ultimate eye opener which no mediation videos have ever told me. I will do better meditation from now on
To all of Marks fans, much love🤙🏼
We miss you, Mark Fucking Manson
My counsellor recently helped me with something. I was worried about: am I making the right decision? What if it's wrong? What if I'm crazy for trying this, etc etc.
She said: why do you have to figure this all out right now? You're not in danger and none of these are urgent things you need to figure out.
All of these things I'm anxious about and hearing "you don't have to figure it out right now" just deflated the urgency of them in my head
The intro was so relatable and why I don’t do intros hahaha
This is one of my favorite videos now, thanks!
*"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all."*-Dale Carnegie
Hope this can motivate or inspire some people, just trying my best to help others as a small channel 💙
You have no idea how much these videos help me. Thank you for it.
Im too early to read comments
Thank you for sharing such legit stuff. This is exactly what I've learned through therapy.
I would give you a million likes if I could. Feel like this video was made for me. Excellent mate... And I will tell my girlfriend about that tequila idea, I let you know ;)
I am saving this to rewatch ! Man,what a video! Good advice in a funny and “non edited” way!!! Thanks!!!
Number 6, as Jordan Peterson would say "EAT SOMETHING, especially in the morning"
I would say that humor is a really good coping mechanism, um..and I personally prescribe to escapism, which for me is not drinking n drugs but reading, learning, watching this vid, and gaming out. It's like blissing out. I do "come back" and turn my attention back to things by writing in my journal. Etc etc. I think because my Mother was a harpie who would run around like chicken little shrieking "the sky is falling, the SKY is falling " and I remember being very chill and stoic through many of her stress inducing episodes...but cptsd slowly builds. Kids, this is how you develop anxiety disorders. I am always interested in new ways of thinking and growing, I no longer allow my peace to be broken by having contact with people who have low eq who deliberately try to fuck with me. But I still have a ways to go. Thank you for your vids I just stumbled on this but I'm excited.
0:37 to skip the bs
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Mark is so real. That's i love about him.❤️🤷♀️
get some sleep.
youre the best therapist ever
Technique no.4 rn.
The thing I learned about confidence is no matter what level you have, its an act. It's an act because you're never really in control of any situation. Your confidence comes from experience, and having performed the act enough that it's second nature.
I can go to the bar right now, make new acquaintances go home with a girl. That audience is easy because they don't matter to me.
There's this woman I've known for years. You know how I know she matters? Because I get fuckin anxious when I talk to her.
I just watched this video. I wished Id have come across it a few days ago because it'd have been useful. But I came to the realization that if I want to overcome that anxiety and not fuckin blow it with this woman, then I have to imagine what my life would be like if I already had. I would find someone else. That took a good chunk of anxiety out of the equation.