My mom is schizophrenic and raised 7 kids on her own. Needless to say I visited her in psych wards way more times than I can count. My mother never sugar coated anything and always was brutally honest even with her youngest kids. I just want to let you know as a child raised by a beautiful single mom struggling with schizophrenia I can say I was never negatively effected by my mothers illness. It made me a more compassionate person
@@paulamccarthy8197 It’s interesting because of the seven kids we all experienced our mothers illness differently. Like we went through the same thing but have very different takes on it. Only one of the seven of us has a negative outlook and does not speak with my mother any longer. My childhood was full of love and we were always encouraged to express ourselves creatively through art if different mediums.
To be honest, I don't like when people criticize her for showing "only the good side". Aren't we all sick of hearing stories about how once you are diagnosed with schizophrenia, you are only getting worse from there? She and other influencers with schizophrenia are beyond important because they give hope to everyone that they can live with their illness, not only to people with schiziphrenia.
I agree. I think all stories need to be told but I think we don’t all need constant devastation and despair, like our lives are nothing more than illness. I’m trying to get out of that mentality.
I get worried I have it sometimes because I've experienced some of the things she has experienced but I never hear voices I have Auditory Processing Disorder and I'll do strange things. But now I'm being diagnosed with possibly Bipolar 1? It's so strange what next Sciophective disorder? It's just strange.
For sure. Although at the same time, if someone had said, “I’m not taking the keys, I’m trusting you,” I would have grabbed them and driven away faster than you can count to 1.
I’m married to a beautiful woman for 28 years and she is in the hospital and you have no idea how much you are helping me take care of my wife you are a amazing lady and really brave thanks 🙏
I am so sorry about what you went through. You are very useful to many. I love and respect you. I hope you don't feel too bad that you were hospitalized.
I know that I personally felt like a failure, too, when I ended up at a psych ward. I think those moments are some of the lowest in a person’s life. And the fact that the system is such a mess in that area, too, is what bothers me. I refuse to ever go back, no matter what, because they messed up my physical health medications, and they just messed up in different areas in general, and it was too complex with my situation with my rare condition, Escobar Syndrome, that I was born with and my physical disability. The psych ward isn’t for everyone and sometimes leaves people actually worse off. I couldn’t be paid to endure any of that ever again. No thanks. If it helps some, then that’s great, but it can be awful for others.
I’m a mom with rapid cycling bipolar. I want to share something my husband told me after my worst psychotic suicidal episode. When I would have these episodes I would feel so guilty and tell my husband to divorce me so he and my 2 year old son wouldn’t have to be around me. He responded with, “I knew what I signed up for when I married you, and I would do it again. And you are the best mom for our son. He will learn about mental illness from you. He doesn’t need a perfect mom. He needs a real mom. We both love you and never want to be without you.” It was the catalyst for me to go on more powerful meds and ultimately saved my life. Never give up. You have not failed. I have also been hospitalized and made involuntary. Please be gentle with yourself. Sending you positive I’ve vibes ❤️❤️❤️
Moja dcera bola 2 mesiace hospitalizovaná, bolo to veľmi ťažké pre celú rodinu, veľmi nam chýbala chodili sme za ňou stále, boli s nou rodičia sestry. Už je doma 1 pol roka, zatiaľ je OK.. Lieky berie poctivo, uvedomuje si zatiaľ ze ináč to nebude dobré!! Aj hospitalizovana bola preto že neuzivala lieky!! Sme všetci šťastný že je doma a tešíme sa každý deň!! Mame sa veľmi radi a nieje snáď deň aby sme sa neobjali!! ❤❤Píšem to hlavne preto aby sye vedeli že aj keď sye chorí, veľmi Vás lubime!! ❤❤Píšem to ako mama dcéry ktorá si prešla niečím podobným!!! Veľa zdravia šťastia a lásky Vam prajem❤❤🙏🙏
@@yehhshhs'm not the OP, but I was also rapid cycling Bipolar I w/ a lottttttt of psychosis. Arguably, I could have been dx'd w/ Schizoaffective, but my psychs have said it's splitting hairs when the treatment is more or less the same. But I think it's probably closer to Schizoaffective because I can get [albeit mild] psychosis around my period, but not a mood episode. I've tried a lot of different meds, but what helped me the most is Lamotrigine 150mg/day & some PRN Risperidone 0.5mg when I notice any breakthrough psychosis... Bear in mind, I metabolize medications weirdly & a normal person might need a much higher dosage than me!! During the worst of my psychosis, I needed 1-2mg of Risperidone every day for two weeks or more in order to break through the wall of psychosis... But Lamotrigine has kept me almost totally episode-free for the last 9 years - it has quite literally saved my life. Seroquel was too sedating for me, personally, even at 50mg, so... Most other antipsychotics were off the table w/ my respiratory depression. Depakote caused me some stomach issues. Lithium threw my electrolytes out of whack & I was dehydrated & getting weird symptoms. Risperidone gives me a high prolactin level if I take it too often & I randomly lactate, but that's the only real side effect I experience! And it goes away eventually. I was SO AFRAID of the Lamotrigine rash & it caused a lot of paranoia, but... I started the meds veryyyyyyy slowlyyyyy & it is one I will never stop taking. Life w/o fear of my own mind & the world around me is too precious! My only side effects were a pretty bad headache/dizziness for the first week after dose increases. Sorry for the essay, lol!!
My darling girl, I think it is rare to have such insight into oneself, particularly with this illness. You are a marvelous educator and I wish you well.
The fact that she has such good insight into herself makes her a bad educator, actually. Most schizophrenics have poor self-insight, which makes them completely different to the people around them. I've lived with a paranoid schizophrenic for 12 years and it was hell on earth.
It's much more useful to know what schizophrenia looks like to friends and relatives, and also know what effect it has on the loved ones, especially underage children. This way, relatives of schizophrenics and those responsible for the underage children can recognize the disease and seek help for the schizophrenic and the family. Now THAT would be a real progress for society that would make people's lives better.
@@OutragedPufferfish how do you realize this being a paranoid schizophrenic. was it therapy that you learn compassion for yourself but the people in your life does not share the same compassion. family said you are the one with the problem. i dont need therapy, you do. i heard that line way too many times. therapy wont help if the stress is not inside us. it comes from somewhere else
@MargaritaMagdalena how can she be a "bad educator" if she is just honestly sharing her own lived experience of schizophrenia? Any honest accounts are good education, in my view
@@lookingupwithwonder "Bad educator" was probably incorrect to say, but like I said, the very fact that she's sharing her experience makes her unlike the average schizophrenic. Many schizophrenics like my mother aren't even diagnosed and medicated, and are cynical, secretive, cross, and even aggressive, not honest, responsible and sweet like this lady.
My daughter has Schizoeffective Disorder and I have tried to gather as much information as I could to try to understand what she is going through. Your channel is so helpful to me. I use the information you give me to recognize the symptoms and keep her safe. You are saving peoples lives. How brave of you to share your story. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
@michellem1862 Thank you!!! Thank you for not turning your daughter away because she has an illness you (and probably her too!) don't understand!! Thank you for being an AMAZING Mom to be willing to learn what you can so that you can support her rather than the easier route of just putting her out of your life!!! I am in awe of you and your love and devotion to your daughter!!!! I pray she knows and realizes how blessed she is to have you!!!! Thank you!! ❤
I have a mother with schizophrenia who also experienced a lot of paranoia surrounding me and my sister. It ended up leading to a lot of abuse over the years and, because of this, I remember feeling almost angry when I watched your pregnancy announcement. This video made me feel very differently, though. I'm so proud of you for going to the hospital when you did. I can tell that you're willing to do whatever it takes to keep your kids safe and it sounds like you're a wonderful mother to them.
As someone who also experienced abuse as a result of my mother's untreated Bipolar/psychosis & drug abuse... I definitely feel you. I really wish I had a parent more like Lauren, who has an understanding of & willingness to treat her illness - in addition to a strong desire to protect her children from the worst of it. I'm very proud of her, too, & I'm grateful that Rob is a supportive partner & stable father for the kids.
All I can say is that schizophrenia tends to be genetic and often skips a generation so birthing is a gamble. I ignored this fact because I wanted a child so badly and didn't follow my instincts.
Also I don't want to speak out of term because I am not a psychologist, but 4 years is a hell of a long time to maintain stability when you struggle with a mental illness. So try replace the shame with pride as far as possible.
My son had no idea he was schizophrenic. He was dealing with pressure from the Navy from his wife, etc. had no idea what was happening to him. He ended up living in his car on base like a homeless person. Stole my car took off clear Cross Country to go see his kids ended up in an altercation With a Fallon and ended up becoming a felon himself. Four years later, he still in prison for something he had no control over. Society has no clue what you people go through what is happening in your minds. He’s spent 230 days in a psych ward and had nothing done for him other than be told take your medicine don’t get into trouble, etc. Where is the education? Where is the consideration? Where is the empathy for people whose brains are, manipulating and controlling them? It’s so awful. It’s so disgusting that they get zero help. Going to debt lose their families! God bless you for sharing this!
I’ve said this throughout her recent struggles but it bares repeating: I cannot imagine being brave enough to put this on the internet and I know a lot of people are grateful for her showing us these difficult times. I’m just glad she has such a great support system.
Exactly! I’m going to recommend that my psychiatrist watch this last suite of videos. There are so many unseized opportunities to include lived experience voices in mental health training.
As the husband of someone who had a similar experience years ago, here is further encouragement for the future of your family. Both of our kids are in their 40s. They’re independent, successful and are healthy in body, spirit and mind. Each recently remembered their childhood as being great! In just 3 days we are 48 years married. I can tell you have the key to a similar outcome.
My kids did not inherit their mom’s mental illness. I don’t know if there was a greater chance of developing a mental illness but it certainly is not automatic.
@@bhanusri3732it's genetic, but not 100% guaranteed. The most important stuff to teach kids with high genetic loading for schizophrenia are healthy stress management and stay away from marijuana.
You are my new hero! I can’t thank you enough for being so raw in this interview. My son suffered with schizoaffective for over a decade. We tried every treatment, medications, ect , alternative therapy. He became extremely isolated, paranoid & depressed. He would try a hospital stay due to my begging, then end up staying in his room until discharged. On May 2, 2018,at age 30, he had enough. I miss him terribly everyday, but would not want him or anyone to live through the hell he did everyday. As a Mom, I wonder, what did I do wrong? Why couldn’t I save him? Please , keep sharing your ups and downs with the world. People with schizophrenia aren’t lazy, weird , dangerous. You’re an amazing lady with a wonderful, supportive husband ❤️. Sending you much love
randomly came across this video, then randomly came across this comment. You did nothing wrong, it sounds like you went above and beyond for your son. You're a great mother. This illness and other severe mental health disorders unfortunately are fatal sometimes. Your son was so blessed to have a mom that cares as much as you do. I struggle with survivor's guilt from an unrelated incident, and I cant imagine how much harder it is for a mother (I'm not a mom myself yet). Please know you did everything you could do though. You sound like a wonderful person to have as a mother. Sometimes our brains can be our own worst enemy, whether it's via mental illness or just everyday issues. I like to think of it as equal to someone losing their battle with cancer; they just lost their battle with their own illness. Blessings 💜
I think this channel is great at achieving two main things. 1. Helping people who are suffering with mental illness and people living with those who suffer from schizophrenia 2. Helping the wider population to understand what schizophrenia is like to manage and live with. To do this most effectively it is invaluable to look at the illness from all aspects (bad and good). PS This video was so very informative.
As someone that experienced a parent with schizophrenia, I just wanted to say that I really appreciate that you are being transparent with your children. My extended family was not forthright with us kids, and I know that that contributed to confusion, feelings of alienation, and (frankly) disrespect/distrust towards adults in general. Thank you.
Lauren and Rob have an incredibly honest and healthy communication style. Obviously this is a difficult conversation to have, especially publicly, but the empathy on Rob's part and the accountability and vulnerability on Lauren's part are really special - for any couple btw. Thank you both for being so transparent.
@@thehypercasual385 the word "gaslighting" came to mind, when I's watching this. And then there's him, telling her kids _"of course in an age appropriate way"_ that mommy is mentally ill, which, when he tells her that here, seems to totally surprise (and shock) her. Why is: _"mommy is ill and she's staying there so the doctors can make her well again"_ not enough information? If Rob's wife had cancer, would he also ask her to elaborate on how her illness is hurting him?
@@thehypercasual385Uh you don't know their personal lives or how bad it gets for both of them. Do you actually live with someone with illness? Him feeling his own struggles and disappointments is completely valid and the whole time shes talking about him, she also speaks as if he was danger to her and she did everything to run away from him. You can tell she was not happy when he caught up to her during her schizophrenia freakout. And i know thats part of her symptoms but do you know how hurtful that would be to someone thats concerned for the partner's safety? This isn't a one way relationship. I have severe depression and I had depressve episodes where I hurt my family members. I will never blame them for reacting the way they did because its the truth that I hurt them(even as a patient) and they were also the only ones in life that didn't leave my side. I wanted them to leave me alone but they didn't. Your illness, no matter the severity or type of illness you have, doesn't give you a pass. If you hurt someone, you hurt someone and that affects that person forever no matter what. You shouldn't villianize or feel guilty about it all the time, but acknowledging it is important for healthier relationships. Its ridiculous how much people are ok with villianizing family members of the sick. You don't know their dynamics.
My mom was recently hospitalized because of an episode similar to this. She’s currently there for a second time, but this time she went on her own. And this really made me, the only person in her corner really helping her out, feel a little better. Thank you for some insight on your experience, I think it will help me better navigate how to support my mother.
Believe me, I know the denial of an illness exponentially cuts out any acceptance of a really devastating illness and the treatment necessary. Hats off to you and good luck.
I was diagnosed with schitzoaffective disorder. Had my first episode in 2020. I was completely unaware of what was happening and only after did I feel the terror and trauma of what had happened. I can only imagine what it must have been like for you suddenly realizing what was happening as it was happening. You talk often about not being able to trust yourself and I got teary eyed because that's exactly how I feel especially after slipping into psychosis. It's so so scary when you have to rely on other people to ground you in reality. To know that your own brain is lying and tricking you is terrifying. It puts a new twist on the phrase "You're your worst enemy ". I'm so glad that you have supportive people in your life. That's what has saved me. Not everyone has that. Hoping for the best❤
Abusive seems like a very harsh term to describe your behavior. Abuse is defined as "a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner." Based off of what you described, this behavior does not seem abusive. It's possible to hurt people unintentionally without it being abuse.
Agree. I want to give Lauren a hug and tell her she is a good person. Not abusive, not narcissistic, not trauma-inducing, not any of the negative words she used to describe herself in this video. As psych survivors we internalize so much shame and guilt that doesn’t belong to us.
It is 100 percent abusive to bring kids to a psych unit and explain your terrifying delusions of being poisoned with them. Absolutely, positively abusive. She's is not their mother. I would never forgive someone for exposing my children to that. It would be a cold day in hell , in fact, before I ever left them alone with her. I probably would not let them even see her. Her delusions were about the kids. Everyone is so loving and she deserves compassion. But she is hurting someone else's kids. It's so uncool. If she wants to expose her TWO YEAR OLD to that, ok. But the mother of the other two needs to protect them immediately.
@@CHAILIFE She didn’t bring her kids to the psych ward. That was Rob’s choice. Then she carefully answered the eight year old’s questions about her symptoms when they got home. This is NOT abuse. This is like visiting any other family member who is sick in the hospital and providing an important educational experience.
It’s a chronic illness and the fact that you knew you were in trouble and took action is huge. It’s awesome to see you at home and healing. …and please don’t worry about giving the wrong impression on camera. I hope everyone understands that these videos are just a snapshot of your life and putting it together for the camera is about a human as one can get. The effort you make to help us understand is truly appreciated.
@@jacquelineleitch7050intelligent enough to feed her a self-deprecating picture of who she is while he controls her every move like an abusive parent instead of partner
As a mom of 3 who has debilitating panic disorder, I so appreciate you showing up in this way for moms who struggle with mental illness, to help people understand that our illness does not minimize our love and care for our children. When you talked about that it brought tears to my eyes, because I know what it's like to feel like I'm failing them when my mental illness is at it's worst. I'm so happy that you have a family who just loves and supports you through it.
I just got out of the mental hospital 4 days ago and im trying to remember everything that happened. Youve inspired me to talk about what happened, thank you so much for posting this. Im sorry both of you experienced trauma.
Rob, I hope you’re doing ok. I know what it’s like to deal with anxiety and depression and still feel responsible for someone else who deals with mental illness and I wish you nothing but strength.
You are not a fraud for putting on makeup & an outfit. Ppl don't put the hard things on the internet. You are incredibly brave. And if makeup helps you feel more comfortable to get on camera... that's absolutely OK. And yes, psych hospitalizations are horrific. I'm so happy you're home & feeling a bit better. ❤
I think it's odd that people criticize you for being "too well". I wouldn't expect you to make videos in a psychotic state. That said, I do think that it's probably valuable for people to see the not-so-neat parts of the experience. Also, I can understand why you might be embarrassed about irrational beliefs, but I think the vast majority of people here understand the nature of the illness and don't take your delusions as a reflection of anything you seriously believe.
It’s a real issue. Many people say that to me too. That I look well, that I can express myself coherently despite my mental disorders and it’s difficult. People don’t believe you and dismiss your problems or think you are exaggerating when you say you need help because you don’t look like it. 😢
I’ve become somewhat of a pro at hiding my symptoms and appearing fine on the outside so people don’t realize it’s the complete opposite. Btw she has made a video of her in a psychotic episode but you would not apparently, i think she was in one cause she was pretty well composed and put together.
Thank you for sharing your story. My mother was diagnosed schizophrenic in her late 40's. It did not have a happy ending for my family. Since I am no longer able to talk to her about it, your videos are giving me a little bit of insight into what she may have felt. In a way it gives me a tiny bit of peace and understanding.
My psychosis only ever happened around my period. I had my ovaries removed (and also stopped taking meds- which were making it all worse) and have not had a single other psychotic episode. Do not underestimate the sickness and hormones.
I have what has been diagnosed as PMDD, and have for many years struggled with depression, that I didn’t realize was connected to my cycle. Now, I believe that in the past it would always start before my period, and with little awareness, I would just let myself slip deeper into the darkness and not know how to get back. Watching this video, I recognize myself somewhat, but so far I’m able to push through without meds. I wonder at which point do you really KNOW you need medical treatment. I usually have suicidal thoughts, and a sense of “doom”, best way I can describe it is, world turns dark, people are cold and can’t be trusted, because they’re ill themselves (and most don’t realize it). Every time it feels pre apocalyptic? Like i’m done with my life and am now awaiting something that will bring clarity and put everything either to end, or in its place.
@@masha5444 They can prescribe medications that you just take before your period. Meds make me worse, but for most people, this could help PMDD. Don't give up seeking treatment. They can also put you on a birth control to stop your cycle.
As someone who has autoimmune disease, I can tell you first hand that being physically sick really effects me mentally. Like, really. I’m here because idk what box I fit in when I’m mentally unwell. I may not have schizoaffective disorder but there’s something, being here with you helps me so much. ❤
It's a grief process. You miss the person you once were, the things you no longer can do. I feel you. I also have an auto-immune disease, as well as bipolar disorder. It can clash in terrible ways. But even if you don't have a previous experience with mental illness, chronic illness can play a role on your mental well-being.
My daughter who lives with me has a very complex autoimmune disease. I know stress on her body from the disease creates emotional stress which again affects her body. It is a terrible cycle My heart goes out to you.
Lauren, you’re the hero, advocate and pioneer we need (no pressure! 😅), to blow the lid off the *utterly medieval* treatment of mental illness and the current, *terrible* experience of hospitalization. Thank you SO much for sharing your experience and making us all feel a little less alone. ❤🙏🌈 Change must come. It must! When you’re feeling better, your next series could focus on what we can do as a community to educate, fund-raise, advance research, and improve support for mental illness. Truly, you’re a gift! 🌈🩷 Looking forward to your autobiography one day! 😉
When even her own DOCTOR'S knee jerk response for a request for help is to CALL the POLICE and have her HANDCUFFED and transported to a Psych ward only to end up in jail!!!!!!!!!!
You are so brave. I couldn’t imagine living with this condition. I’ve had depression, suicidal thoughts in my past but that was due to my circumstances at the time and it was controlled with medication. Mental illness is still an issue that people don’t understand and luckily we have awesome people like yourself that put themselves out there to share awareness and be honest about it.
I am a RN and I have bipolar with psychotic features. I worked in psych nursing for a few years. I think you articulated your experience the best that I've ever heard. Thank you for sharing. It really resonated with me when you said you like to pretend you don't have a mental illness. I feel that way too because I am so high functioning but then I remind myself that I would not be so high functioning if I didn't do all the things meds, supplements, therapy, self care. Also I remind myself that I can do all those things and still get sick. I'm praying for you to recover well. Thank you for showing the hospital as well. I can't believe they allowed that but that was great.
When I listen to you and Rob, I understand my 35 yo sons experiences with his schizoaffective disorder so much more clearly. Thank you both from the bottom of my heart💕
I am so glad for this channel. My late mother had schizophrenia. There wasn’t much support on the subject to help us to help mother. To help us understand. We were poor but mom always managed to keep us clean, clothed, and fed. We had a roof over our head, but we lived in a high crime neighborhood. I was the youngest the worst impact on me by far was being made an enslaved scapegoat for my older narcissistic psychopathic sibling. Mother suffered much in life, I hope she is finally in peace and surrounded by the highest love! Thank you, for sharing your experience!❤❤❤
If this particular video episode of your journey doesn’t help, even if in a small way, bring us all closer to a stigma-free world regarding mental illness then nothing will. Open and honest conversation about every facet of what people with mental illness (and their loved ones) go through HAS to happen, or the stigma will persist. I've watched MANY of your videos and this one has had the most impact.Thank you and your husband and family soooo much for sharing. ❤
Starting over from previous comment. As a retired social worker/mental health worker I havevthe utmost respect admiration for you, and all of the numerous viedos you put out. If only I knew you and your struggles 30 years ago I could have been a greater help to my clients!!! You put a face on mental health diagnosis specifically psychosis. Please, please consider sharing your experiences with individuals who are training as MD's or anyone considering working in medical and/ or mental health. Your sharing can't compare to book learning!!!!! Consider contacting medical schools near where uou live, or even far away...you are a GEM!!! And whatvthe hell....sitting in the er for 5 hours with no medication????? That wouldn't happen if you were diabetic! Speaking of diabetes if you were to look at your psychosis as diabetes maybe you can take some comfort. Soneone with diabtets does all the right things... eating a good diet, exercise, taking medications, and keeping a healthy weight, but yet their blood sugar rises or lowers at a dangerous level...they need to see the doc or be hospitalized to adjust their medications. It's the same with you. You do everything in yiur power to function to enjiy life and stay out of the hospital, but as with diabetes yiu needed an adjustment in yiur medications. And while I'm at it, who in the heck is bothered by your appearance??? You look to good, have make up on or perhaps you should look more disheveled....please, pkease you don't need to apologize to anyone. You my dear are my hero. Love to you, Rob and your kids. The world needs to hear more from you!!!
You’re not alone because you have somebody who cares for you and loves you. And they are waiting for you when you get out. That makes all the difference! Our grown son has schizophrenia and has been hospitalized many times since 2013. It is always difficult and we have learned which psychiatric hospitals are better and which ones we will never visit again. It is always traumatic but sometimes a medicine change while in the hospital will help improve things a little. I’m so glad you made this channel for all of us out here in the same boat. Thanks! ❤ from David in Houston, Texas.
I have an intense need to wander or escape when I'm psychotic. Last time I quit my job and tried to take my car to run away to another state. You are not alone! I also had to do a day in the ER hallway while they tried to find me a bed last year. The nurse would ask if I was OK and the social worker brought me food but other than that I was left naked with no phone or anything to distract myself while I waited over 10 hours. It was hell. When the ambulance finally came to take me to a ward, the lady asked the nurse if I was a problem right in front of me. The trauma is real and horrifying! Hugs!
Been there done that. Reading your words shocked me then I realised I've been there too. Why is a relapse in mental illness not treated better? It's not a first episode. Bad system.
It’s so important to remember that growth and healing isn’t linear. We fall down, we drag ass, we get up and struggle in silence. but we are still working towards wellness. Your commitment to your own healing should be celebrated ❤
I wonder if you guys can see how many viewers watched the completion of this video. I estimate 100% of us saw it through, so please don’t apologize for a longer video than usual! Thank you for being so vulnerable and honest, and this journey has helped everyone watching understand mental health better than they did before your first video when you were hospitalized.
I have schizotypal disorder. I can understand why Lauren struggles to explain exactly what happens when the underlying mental architecture asserts itself. In some ways, it's like trying to explain how the subconscious mind administers digestion. It's critical to attempt to explain these types of experiences, regardless. People like us need to be heard.
Lauren is diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. Some believe this is a variant of schizophrenia, some do not. Like schizoaffective, schizotypal disorder includes negative symptoms such as social anxiety, paranoia and magical thinking. Perhaps schizotypal has more in common with schizoaffective than schizophrenia.
Of course schizotypal people don't usually have auditory or visual hallucinations. Apparently some do; these don't persist as in schizophrenia. I have had few hallucinations myself. Schizotypal disorder and Borderline disorder were once lumped in to "Borderline Schizophrenic disorder". I think there is some disagreement among psychologists as to whether STpd is a personality disorder distinct from the schizophrenic spectrum. I can relate to things Lauren talks about but do not consider myself to be a schizophrenic person. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
@@ralphloen6901 I have been a mental health clinician for over 30 years. Never heard of Borderline Schizophrenic Disorder. I am not minimizing your experiences with mental health issues. Only trying to say that there is a significant clinical difference between Schizophrenia and Schizotypal PD. I agree Schizotypal has some similarities with Schizophrenia in that is are odd behaviors and beliefs. Be well.
@FlyingMonkies325 Thankyou for this explanation, it’s very descriptive. ❤ for you for bringing this battle experience out into a public shout. Wish you well ❤️🩹
You are so brave, sweet and transparent. I knew nothing about this diagnosis until listening to your channel. Thank you for the education. Kudos for being open and encouraging others to do the same. Rob, you are an amazing support!
Its not often people are open about their experiences, but Lauren enables an open conversation about these things on a large platform. You rock Lauren, I think you’re so resilient.
Sanitizing your uploads, “putting your best foot forward “ is so human. We want so much to maintain our dignity. Beginning this project was so helpful to so many of us. Getting more & more transparent and less afraid to tell your truth is hard- but so helpful to us- who suffer & try to help those who suffer. Compounding this struggle, is trying to “protect “ all the significant ones in your life. Here’s a grateful hug. ❤️
Thanks for sharing your experience. I have schizoaffective and I second ALL of this! I lost my kiddo in a custody situation bc of the schizo and this video shows the realities of what we go through AND the strengths and abilities we still have to live well. Good to have a supportive partner and loving people around you.
Lauren & Rob you two are such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing so openly what you’re going through with your illness. It has truly helped me understand how to better support people around me and be more open minded. You’re making the world a better place and I have the greatest respect for you ❤
Don't be so hard on yourself Lauren. You're such an inspiration to me. You're not abusive, you can't blame yourself for the things you do when you're in a psychotic state you're very much not in control or at least have minimal control. You know you would never do those things if you were in a well state. You know you're a good person and you fight your illness so valiantly and love your loved ones so strongly. I have nothing but admiration for you.
@@CHAILIFE it’s not abuse to bring your children into a psych ward the same way it’s not abuse to bring a child into a regular hospital to visit a parent who is sick. And there is a child appropriate way to explain any illness.
My 21 year old son just had his first psychotic episode. Thank you for the insight and support you are providing through your own experience. Thank you.
I had a rough and too long hospital experience after being hit by a car. The stress, trauma from the injury, lack of sleep, zero privacy, being checked on every hour through the night, and on and on... I know it is not the same, but still, I really cannot imagine experiencing something similar while also having a fuzzy reality. I'm so impressed with your ability to talk through such a fresh and difficult experience. Wishing you good health ❤️
You are a hero. Educating us about the actual experience of mental illness. You are brave, and courageous for surrendering your privacy to lift others up and educate those who don’t have this particular disorder. I so admire you and your family. I send you my admiration and my respect. Brava to you.
This has been so interesting and education to follow. I have mental health issues but I don't have schizoaffective disorder or psychosis so very interesting to see how it can be for a person suffering with it and how hospitalization can work.
I'm awed by your bravery to choose to be hospitalized. After the traumas of previous hospitalizations, it must have taken so much courage to move down that path. You are an amazing individual ... and that goes for Rob too.
It makes me cry to see you beating yourself up about how you treated Rob while experiencing psychosis. It is not your fault. You cannot control your thoughts and actions in this situation. You should be very proud of yourself that you went to the hospital voluntarily.
It's important that those of us who are mentally ill in this capacity to take responsibility when we mistreat those we care about. It's one, validating to your partner so that they don't feel as though they CAUSED the psychosis or did something to trigger it. But two, it helps us to acknowledge our actions when these things are getting bad. To identify the pattern. We cannot use our mental illness as a plain excuse or we will never really improve. So yes, I believe people should be understanding, BUT it's counterproductive to just pretend that the emotional/mental abuse didn't occur and brush it off. It also just let's them know we care and that we aren't proud of those actions and would do anything not to repeat them such as going inpatient. No one who is truly mentally ill likes to go to the hospital, they do it to be Progressive. Just a small take from a Bipolar Type 2 😊
@@SamiVortexI think it's important to recognise the symptoms but not carry shame and guilt, since it's not possible for the person experiencing mental disturbance to choose not to do it. I think she wouldn't tell another person they are responsible or should feel guilt and shame, which is a good way to ascertain whether it's a useful or healthy response. Acknowledgement and recognition, absolutely. Adding to a palate of stress and stigma, nope.
@meretriciousinsolent I mean I get what you're saying but if you allow yourself to mentally abuse those around your and never take accountability and apologize or feel bad for it, quite literally that's sociopathic behavior. Idk about you, but even being extremely mentally ill I feel bad when I treat people bad. It's the last thing I want. And that's a HUMAN emotion. Just saying "Yeah I mean you don't have to feel bad that you did that because you're mentally ill" is not helpful in the process of helping the people you love to overcome those symptoms. You're just giving them a scapegoat for the next time they treat someone bad, and they have gotten used to "oh honey it's because you're mentally ill" that will be the excuse every time. They won't feel the need to work on it in therapy because that's what they are being told by others. Then when those behaviors become to much and those people leave to shelter their own mental health, they are going to be confused as to what they did wrong. They have always been told by that person that the behaviors presented were justified by their condition. So it will lead to distrust, and shame. I'm afraid that by me telling my ex that it was okay for him to treat me and other people the way he did when he was feeling how he was, because he was undiagnosed and didn't understand what was going on, that led him to the idea that he'd never have to face a single consequence for any of his actions. Now I have a Protective Order against him and have to face him in court for the charges filed against him. Because when I finally told him "You know what, you can't just treat people the way you do without doing any work on your end to try to prevent it." Because anyone diagnosed Bipolar knows, we can prevent with certain therapeutic methods and working directly with an outpatient psych that we can learn how to control our behaviors. Its a little tougher with people with Schizophrenia or Schizoaffective disorder, but still can be controlled a little closer with the right treatments and such. I work in mental health, I'm in school to become a psych nurse. ANY licensed psychiatrist or therapist will tell you that anyone who wants to do better, can. There are many educational types of programs other there for all sorts of mental illnesses. Telling people about these isn't adding to the stigma, it's giving them resources to live a better life more in control of the things that are holding them back. You wouldn't ask someone with cancer not to take radiation because it would stigmatize cancer. So don't ask a mentally ill person not to seek the therapies that are designed to help them grow and achieve. No it doesn't make it go away, but it shows them a better way.
@@SamiVortex as the wife of a man suffering with psychotic mental health challenges, your saying this is extremely comforting for me to hear. as your loved ones, we take the brunt of it when we know you are not being your true selves. it truly helps us when you're able to acknowledge the hurt we may feel in the process.
@stkate1093 that's exactly why I say it too! It's already hard for us to hold stable relationships. If you find the person willing to stick around and you justify abusive behaviors with "Well I'm mentally ill, so you have to deal with it." Instead of "I'm so sorry, you're loved, appreciated, and what I did to you while in that state of mind wasn't okay. Thank you for not giving up on me." Then you're just pushing them away too. It's not harmful to realize when your behaviors are harmful. I stick by that 100%
Your courage in radically, unselfishly, and honestly recounting your experience and your husband’s responses is extraordinarily valuable to so many people. Your willingness to be so vulnerable is rare. We are so fortunate to be presented with your honest and valiant commitment to de-stigmatize serious mental illness. You reveal what it feels like to not be able to trust your mind, and many people may never have that terrifying experience. May your painful experiences engender understanding and compassion in the minds of those who can now understand that articulate, intelligent, high-functioning, responsible, and attractive people can also have schizoaffective disorder. Thank you for being so real and to your husband for modeling radical acceptance and loving kindness for all of us.
I can tell from this video that you're a really good mom and your kids are lucky to have you. They'll most likely grow up with tons of empathy and make a positive difference in the world because of you.
This is a pretty amazing channel, and I applaud you both for taking this on…my wife has struggled with psychosis for our whole relationship of over 16 years and has had several hospitalizations throughout. These are hard for everyone involved and to deal with these issues the right way is difficult and hard to explain or comprehend, but you guys are doing a great job of it. Keep it up!
You are a wonderful role model for hope and that recovery is possible❣️ Please don't ever apologise for showing your best self and taking action on your appearance or working on yourself. Some of us may feel threatened by how you sound or look because we can't or simply won't put that same effort into our own recovery and that's ok too. Keep suiting up and showing us you're honest and vulnerable self because many of us see the Warrior inside of you that we aim to be ❤️ xx Thank you for showing us your courage to change 🙏
Lauren, it's hard for me to explain just how much I respect you. I have depression, extreme anxiety and ADD. So I suffer with mental illness. I'll tell anybody about it. It needs to be out there, people need to understand that. I'm sure your staring your illness is helping many people who suffer with the same thing. I know I'm learning so much from you. You're a brave and lovely young woman. Of course you want to fix yourself up to go on camera. Don't listen to the negative feedback. 😊 One of these days I'll explain what happened to me on vacation one time, it was truly awful. Oh! the things that can happen to you when you say the wrong thing in the emergency room.
Rob's "I still love you very much" got me in the feels man. I'm trying to get ready for work here, I can't be crying mascara all over my face 😭 You help so many people with these videos. Thank you for being more open and vulnerable.
Thank you for being open about this. My husband was hospitalized last year, and still doesn't want to discuss it. You are more helpful than you realize. And good for you for mustering up the strength to put yourself together! Much love to you and your family.
This video is so authentic and your experience and Rob's are genuine and thank you both. How you feel is valid. Thank you for sharing everything you have, it does give so much insight that many are not willing or to afraid to share ❤
Your video helped me so much last week. I was in a mental health crisis and the fear or hospitalizing myself was terrifying and making everything worse. You helped de-stigmatize it and made me feel safer. Thank you.
No matter what you do, people on the internet will criticize you. If you show all your worst moments, they will say you’re attention-seeking or dramatic. If you only show your best moments they will say you’re a faker or inauthentic. If you wear makeup and look presentable then they will say you’re not really ill. If you don’t put on makeup people will say you’re not trying hard enough. There will always be critics, but most people here are kind and support you. Do what you want and what makes you comfortable. I appreciate your channel. ❤
Don't apologize for wanting to be 'put together.' People will literally criticize people for anything and everything no matter what you do. Public figures can't win (I'm speaking from experience!!).
Your hospital experience was so eloquenty explained. Thank you! I had a psychotic episode 6 years ago was up for days and could feel myself slipping into another realm of existence and it’s paranoia on steroids. The hospital experience was chaotic ,loud , and not an environment conducive for our healing. Doctor finally gave me a med and 40 minutes later was ready to go home. But the first time and only time I went to a mental health facility the doors were so loud when shutting it sounded like gunfire. I’ve been living my life normally on one medication the past 6 years . I appreciate your honesty and watching your journey and you are not alone.
"It's complicated and messy." My adult daughter with sza had a similar experience in our local ER. Unfortunately, her dad and I were out of town when she had her psychotic break. After the dust settled, I contacted the hospital about her treatment in the ER. They were defensive, but as I suggested to them, please take my suggestions to help the next psychotic patient that enters your ER. There is a vast difference between care for emergency physical care and emergency mental health care.
With my brother having the same diagnosis compounded by alcoholism, I so appreciate your candid, vulnerable openness about your experience. From the ER to your encouragement to those with a mental illness to advocate for themselves to receive the treatment not only they need but deserve deeply resonates with me. My brother's experiences with law enforcement and medical personnel has been traumatic. From police taunting and treating him like a criminal to an ER nurse throwing wipes at him to clean self-inflicted wounds to how isolating the hospitalization and the mental illness is, it is so painful to watch him go through these experiences. He continues to seek help and guidance which is a challenge within itself because of limited resources. Thank you for what you are doing to raise a higher awareness. I admire your strength!
Thank you so much for your bravery to be so open and vulnerable about your experience. I have someone in my life struggling with schizophrenia but he is unable to communicate as well as you do about his experience. While I’m sure that your experiences are different, your willingness to share has given me the ability to understand him a little bit better. You are a blessing. ❤
Talking to your kids, with age-appropriate honesty will empower them and make them feel more confident around issues like this. Kids know when we hide things - it scares them ("If it is so bad that my parents won't tell me, it must be really bad...") In addition to empowering them, they will end up as incredibly compassionate and understanding adults - something we all need. Good job, mommy!
My mother hid her mental illness from me until I was about 14 and when she told me it felt like my whole world shifted and nothing ever felt the same again… I wish she had just explained it with age appropriate language as I grew up. Especially because I grew up to have a panic disorder not dissimilar to hers
You are doing wonders to educate so many people. Those who are critical of your version of illness and wellness and how much you share, are expecting you to embody the entire experience of all people with schizophrenia. You do not owe anyone a deep view into your most vulnerable moments. What is important is that you talk thoughtfully and honestly and use your experiences and privilege to bring awareness in ways that other people with the same illness do not have the capacity or resources to. I am so glad to see and hear you talk about this experience with positive aspects to it and I will look forward to more content and education- sans hospital.
You're so well-spoken and a great educator. Thank you for taking the time to tell us about your experiences - I imagine it's difficult at times to talk about stuff that's so personal to you but I'm incredibly grateful that you are. Take care of yourself ❤️
JOIN OUR ONLINE PEER SUPPORT COMMUNITY
Schizophrenia Peer Support Community: www.schizophreniapeersupport.com
joined ❤️
Finding this online community has truly changed my life.
What do you do for a living; what's your occupation.
Were you diagnosed before you became a mother?
So you drive under the influence. Thts irresponsible
My mom is schizophrenic and raised 7 kids on her own. Needless to say I visited her in psych wards way more times than I can count. My mother never sugar coated anything and always was brutally honest even with her youngest kids. I just want to let you know as a child raised by a beautiful single mom struggling with schizophrenia I can say I was never negatively effected by my mothers illness. It made me a more compassionate person
Thank you for your comment.
One for you ❤️ and one for your lovely gem of a mum ❤️
It sounds like your mom was honest about her struggles and willing to get help when she needed it. That's really great and helpful.
Was all the children the same? Bless your mum
@@paulamccarthy8197 It’s interesting because of the seven kids we all experienced our mothers illness differently. Like we went through the same thing but have very different takes on it. Only one of the seven of us has a negative outlook and does not speak with my mother any longer. My childhood was full of love and we were always encouraged to express ourselves creatively through art if different mediums.
To be honest, I don't like when people criticize her for showing "only the good side". Aren't we all sick of hearing stories about how once you are diagnosed with schizophrenia, you are only getting worse from there? She and other influencers with schizophrenia are beyond important because they give hope to everyone that they can live with their illness, not only to people with schiziphrenia.
I think both sides are important, personally. It’s good to give hope but also important to be realistic, and authentic, as well.
I agree with you. Watching Lauren's videos has been very educational and eye opening for me.
I agree. I think all stories need to be told but I think we don’t all need constant devastation and despair, like our lives are nothing more than illness. I’m trying to get out of that mentality.
I get worried I have it sometimes because I've experienced some of the things she has experienced but I never hear voices I have Auditory Processing Disorder and I'll do strange things. But now I'm being diagnosed with possibly Bipolar 1? It's so strange what next Sciophective disorder? It's just strange.
@@mariahconklin4150 mental health is not well understood, even by doctors. Don’t give up on trying to get help to manage life more easily.
Shout out to Rob. Thank you for your kindness and empathy to your partner.
Again
.....u are blessed with a partner whom supports u
For sure. Although at the same time, if someone had said, “I’m not taking the keys, I’m trusting you,” I would have grabbed them and driven away faster than you can count to 1.
Not to criticize him. Not his fault he thinks differently.
i need me a rob..
@@momoA07me too ❤️
I’m an ER nurse. Thank you for sharing your story so I can better understand my patients.
Yes 👍🏾❤
Underrated comment ❤
❤
❤
God bless you
I’m married to a beautiful woman for 28 years and she is in the hospital and you have no idea how much you are helping me take care of my wife you are a amazing lady and really brave thanks 🙏
Being hospitalized isn't a personal failure on your part. Sometimes you just need extra help and that's okay.
❤❤
I am so sorry about what you went through. You are very useful to many. I love and respect you. I hope you don't feel too bad that you were hospitalized.
I know that I personally felt like a failure, too, when I ended up at a psych ward. I think those moments are some of the lowest in a person’s life. And the fact that the system is such a mess in that area, too, is what bothers me. I refuse to ever go back, no matter what, because they messed up my physical health medications, and they just messed up in different areas in general, and it was too complex with my situation with my rare condition, Escobar Syndrome, that I was born with and my physical disability. The psych ward isn’t for everyone and sometimes leaves people actually worse off. I couldn’t be paid to endure any of that ever again. No thanks. If it helps some, then that’s great, but it can be awful for others.
It’s a huge success that you agreed to go to the hospital
❤❤❤
I’m a mom with rapid cycling bipolar. I want to share something my husband told me after my worst psychotic suicidal episode. When I would have these episodes I would feel so guilty and tell my husband to divorce me so he and my 2 year old son wouldn’t have to be around me. He responded with, “I knew what I signed up for when I married you, and I would do it again. And you are the best mom for our son. He will learn about mental illness from you. He doesn’t need a perfect mom. He needs a real mom. We both love you and never want to be without you.” It was the catalyst for me to go on more powerful meds and ultimately saved my life. Never give up. You have not failed. I have also been hospitalized and made involuntary. Please be gentle with yourself. Sending you positive I’ve vibes ❤️❤️❤️
pls what kind of meds helped you there? i neeed help
Moja dcera bola 2 mesiace hospitalizovaná, bolo to veľmi ťažké pre celú rodinu, veľmi nam chýbala chodili sme za ňou stále, boli s nou rodičia sestry. Už je doma 1 pol roka, zatiaľ je OK.. Lieky berie poctivo, uvedomuje si zatiaľ ze ináč to nebude dobré!! Aj hospitalizovana bola preto že neuzivala lieky!! Sme všetci šťastný že je doma a tešíme sa každý deň!! Mame sa veľmi radi a nieje snáď deň aby sme sa neobjali!! ❤❤Píšem to hlavne preto aby sye vedeli že aj keď sye chorí, veľmi Vás lubime!! ❤❤Píšem to ako mama dcéry ktorá si prešla niečím podobným!!! Veľa zdravia šťastia a lásky Vam prajem❤❤🙏🙏
@@yehhshhs'm not the OP, but I was also rapid cycling Bipolar I w/ a lottttttt of psychosis. Arguably, I could have been dx'd w/ Schizoaffective, but my psychs have said it's splitting hairs when the treatment is more or less the same. But I think it's probably closer to Schizoaffective because I can get [albeit mild] psychosis around my period, but not a mood episode.
I've tried a lot of different meds, but what helped me the most is Lamotrigine 150mg/day & some PRN Risperidone 0.5mg when I notice any breakthrough psychosis... Bear in mind, I metabolize medications weirdly & a normal person might need a much higher dosage than me!! During the worst of my psychosis, I needed 1-2mg of Risperidone every day for two weeks or more in order to break through the wall of psychosis... But Lamotrigine has kept me almost totally episode-free for the last 9 years - it has quite literally saved my life.
Seroquel was too sedating for me, personally, even at 50mg, so... Most other antipsychotics were off the table w/ my respiratory depression. Depakote caused me some stomach issues. Lithium threw my electrolytes out of whack & I was dehydrated & getting weird symptoms. Risperidone gives me a high prolactin level if I take it too often & I randomly lactate, but that's the only real side effect I experience! And it goes away eventually.
I was SO AFRAID of the Lamotrigine rash & it caused a lot of paranoia, but... I started the meds veryyyyyyy slowlyyyyy & it is one I will never stop taking. Life w/o fear of my own mind & the world around me is too precious! My only side effects were a pretty bad headache/dizziness for the first week after dose increases.
Sorry for the essay, lol!!
Lots of sympathy.
@@ZijnShayatanicathank you for your comment 💜
My darling girl, I think it is rare to have such insight into oneself, particularly with this illness. You are a marvelous educator and I wish you well.
The fact that she has such good insight into herself makes her a bad educator, actually. Most schizophrenics have poor self-insight, which makes them completely different to the people around them. I've lived with a paranoid schizophrenic for 12 years and it was hell on earth.
It's much more useful to know what schizophrenia looks like to friends and relatives, and also know what effect it has on the loved ones, especially underage children. This way, relatives of schizophrenics and those responsible for the underage children can recognize the disease and seek help for the schizophrenic and the family. Now THAT would be a real progress for society that would make people's lives better.
@@OutragedPufferfish how do you realize this being a paranoid schizophrenic. was it therapy that you learn compassion for yourself but the people in your life does not share the same compassion.
family said you are the one with the problem. i dont need therapy, you do.
i heard that line way too many times. therapy wont help if the stress is not inside us. it comes from somewhere else
@MargaritaMagdalena how can she be a "bad educator" if she is just honestly sharing her own lived experience of schizophrenia?
Any honest accounts are good education, in my view
@@lookingupwithwonder "Bad educator" was probably incorrect to say, but like I said, the very fact that she's sharing her experience makes her unlike the average schizophrenic. Many schizophrenics like my mother aren't even diagnosed and medicated, and are cynical, secretive, cross, and even aggressive, not honest, responsible and sweet like this lady.
My daughter has Schizoeffective Disorder and I have tried to gather as much information as I could to try to understand what she is going through. Your channel is so helpful to me. I use the information you give me to recognize the symptoms and keep her safe. You are saving peoples lives. How brave of you to share your story. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
So glad you have this. 20 years ago my mom and I had no help with my brother. No info barley any info
Schizophrenia and Schizoaffective are different! Schizoaffective is like Schizophrenia + Bipolar lol
My daughter has it as well, I’m living the same experience 💕
What is schzo's obsessive disorder?
@michellem1862 Thank you!!! Thank you for not turning your daughter away because she has an illness you (and probably her too!) don't understand!! Thank you for being an AMAZING Mom to be willing to learn what you can so that you can support her rather than the easier route of just putting her out of your life!!! I am in awe of you and your love and devotion to your daughter!!!! I pray she knows and realizes how blessed she is to have you!!!! Thank you!! ❤
I have a mother with schizophrenia who also experienced a lot of paranoia surrounding me and my sister. It ended up leading to a lot of abuse over the years and, because of this, I remember feeling almost angry when I watched your pregnancy announcement. This video made me feel very differently, though. I'm so proud of you for going to the hospital when you did. I can tell that you're willing to do whatever it takes to keep your kids safe and it sounds like you're a wonderful mother to them.
As someone who also experienced abuse as a result of my mother's untreated Bipolar/psychosis & drug abuse... I definitely feel you. I really wish I had a parent more like Lauren, who has an understanding of & willingness to treat her illness - in addition to a strong desire to protect her children from the worst of it. I'm very proud of her, too, & I'm grateful that Rob is a supportive partner & stable father for the kids.
good choices,agreed
I have same experience with my mother. In addition my dad is bipolar. My childhood and youth was full of abuse
All I can say is that schizophrenia tends to be genetic and often skips a generation so birthing is a gamble. I ignored this fact because I wanted a child so badly and didn't follow my instincts.
@@carolynlanham3170 does your baby have schizophrenia?
This is brilliantly brave
I cannot emphasize enough how inspired I am by you.
Also I don't want to speak out of term because I am not a psychologist, but 4 years is a hell of a long time to maintain stability when you struggle with a mental illness. So try replace the shame with pride as far as possible.
@@louisepolley9707 She felt guilty i saw and recognise that from her expressions and voice.
I'm so very proud of Lauren and her family.
I’m so happy that you are home with your family💕. Be gentle with yourself , you are such an amazing and strong person….Rob too🙏🏻💙
Does she hear voices?
Me too!
You know that you are doing something for humanity here right? Thanks so much from the bottom of my heart!
My son had no idea he was schizophrenic. He was dealing with pressure from the Navy from his wife, etc. had no idea what was happening to him. He ended up living in his car on base like a homeless person. Stole my car took off clear Cross Country to go see his kids ended up in an altercation With a Fallon and ended up becoming a felon himself. Four years later, he still in prison for something he had no control over. Society has no clue what you people go through what is happening in your minds. He’s spent 230 days in a psych ward and had nothing done for him other than be told take your medicine don’t get into trouble, etc. Where is the education? Where is the consideration? Where is the empathy for people whose brains are, manipulating and controlling them? It’s so awful. It’s so disgusting that they get zero help. Going to debt lose their families! God bless you for sharing this!
As a Psych Nurse this was so good to listen too . Thank you
I’ve said this throughout her recent struggles but it bares repeating: I cannot imagine being brave enough to put this on the internet and I know a lot of people are grateful for her showing us these difficult times. I’m just glad she has such a great support system.
This should be a basic part of the curriculum for psychiatric nurses / doctors etc. This is so incredibly valuable work you guys are doing!
Exactly! I’m going to recommend that my psychiatrist watch this last suite of videos. There are so many unseized opportunities to include lived experience voices in mental health training.
I agree 100%
couldn’t agree more
For all doctors and nurses..not just specializing in psychiatric patients.
ABSOLUTELY !
As the husband of someone who had a similar experience years ago, here is further encouragement for the future of your family. Both of our kids are in their 40s. They’re independent, successful and are healthy in body, spirit and mind. Each recently remembered their childhood as being great! In just 3 days we are 48 years married. I can tell you have the key to a similar outcome.
So children don't inherit schizophrenia because I have schizophrenia too and I am afraid of my kids having it if I have kids
My kids did not inherit their mom’s mental illness. I don’t know if there was a greater chance of developing a mental illness but it certainly is not automatic.
@@bhanusri3732it's genetic, but not 100% guaranteed. The most important stuff to teach kids with high genetic loading for schizophrenia are healthy stress management and stay away from marijuana.
So kind ❤
@@sampal5352love the message, in your comment.
You are my new hero! I can’t thank you enough for being so raw in this interview. My son suffered with schizoaffective for over a decade. We tried every treatment, medications, ect , alternative therapy. He became extremely isolated, paranoid & depressed. He would try a hospital stay due to my begging, then end up staying in his room until discharged. On May 2, 2018,at age 30, he had enough. I miss him terribly everyday, but would not want him or anyone to live through the hell he did everyday. As a Mom, I wonder, what did I do wrong? Why couldn’t I save him?
Please , keep sharing your ups and downs with the world. People with schizophrenia aren’t lazy, weird , dangerous. You’re an amazing lady with a wonderful, supportive husband ❤️. Sending you much love
randomly came across this video, then randomly came across this comment. You did nothing wrong, it sounds like you went above and beyond for your son. You're a great mother. This illness and other severe mental health disorders unfortunately are fatal sometimes. Your son was so blessed to have a mom that cares as much as you do. I struggle with survivor's guilt from an unrelated incident, and I cant imagine how much harder it is for a mother (I'm not a mom myself yet). Please know you did everything you could do though. You sound like a wonderful person to have as a mother. Sometimes our brains can be our own worst enemy, whether it's via mental illness or just everyday issues. I like to think of it as equal to someone losing their battle with cancer; they just lost their battle with their own illness. Blessings 💜
Thank you!!
I think this channel is great at achieving two main things.
1. Helping people who are suffering with mental illness and people living with those who suffer from schizophrenia
2. Helping the wider population to understand what schizophrenia is like to manage and live with.
To do this most effectively it is invaluable to look at the illness from all aspects (bad and good).
PS This video was so very informative.
You got through a global pandemic without being hospitalized. That's impressive.
Great point about that.
@@michelledarby6729 imagine writing something so stupid on a public forum
@@michelledarby6729 I can tell
@@michelledarby6729read the room, Michelle!
@@michelledarby6729 You’re not her psychiatrist. Quit using your google degree to diagnose strangers you’ve never met. It’s embarrassing 🙄
As someone that experienced a parent with schizophrenia, I just wanted to say that I really appreciate that you are being transparent with your children. My extended family was not forthright with us kids, and I know that that contributed to confusion, feelings of alienation, and (frankly) disrespect/distrust towards adults in general. Thank you.
Lauren and Rob have an incredibly honest and healthy communication style. Obviously this is a difficult conversation to have, especially publicly, but the empathy on Rob's part and the accountability and vulnerability on Lauren's part are really special - for any couple btw. Thank you both for being so transparent.
seems kinda like he is publicly shaming her
@@thehypercasual385 the word "gaslighting" came to mind, when I's watching this. And then there's him, telling her kids _"of course in an age appropriate way"_ that mommy is mentally ill, which, when he tells her that here, seems to totally surprise (and shock) her. Why is: _"mommy is ill and she's staying there so the doctors can make her well again"_ not enough information? If Rob's wife had cancer, would he also ask her to elaborate on how her illness is hurting him?
@@thehypercasual385totally :/
@@thehypercasual385Uh you don't know their personal lives or how bad it gets for both of them. Do you actually live with someone with illness? Him feeling his own struggles and disappointments is completely valid and the whole time shes talking about him, she also speaks as if he was danger to her and she did everything to run away from him. You can tell she was not happy when he caught up to her during her schizophrenia freakout. And i know thats part of her symptoms but do you know how hurtful that would be to someone thats concerned for the partner's safety? This isn't a one way relationship. I have severe depression and I had depressve episodes where I hurt my family members. I will never blame them for reacting the way they did because its the truth that I hurt them(even as a patient) and they were also the only ones in life that didn't leave my side. I wanted them to leave me alone but they didn't. Your illness, no matter the severity or type of illness you have, doesn't give you a pass. If you hurt someone, you hurt someone and that affects that person forever no matter what. You shouldn't villianize or feel guilty about it all the time, but acknowledging it is important for healthier relationships. Its ridiculous how much people are ok with villianizing family members of the sick. You don't know their dynamics.
My mom was recently hospitalized because of an episode similar to this. She’s currently there for a second time, but this time she went on her own. And this really made me, the only person in her corner really helping her out, feel a little better. Thank you for some insight on your experience, I think it will help me better navigate how to support my mother.
Believe me, I know the denial of an illness exponentially cuts out any acceptance of a really devastating illness and the treatment necessary. Hats off to you and good luck.
I was diagnosed with schitzoaffective disorder. Had my first episode in 2020. I was completely unaware of what was happening and only after did I feel the terror and trauma of what had happened. I can only imagine what it must have been like for you suddenly realizing what was happening as it was happening. You talk often about not being able to trust yourself and I got teary eyed because that's exactly how I feel especially after slipping into psychosis. It's so so scary when you have to rely on other people to ground you in reality. To know that your own brain is lying and tricking you is terrifying. It puts a new twist on the phrase "You're your worst enemy ". I'm so glad that you have supportive people in your life. That's what has saved me. Not everyone has that. Hoping for the best❤
what a terrible disease!! 👎👎👎 I'm sorry you have to deal with that.
Abusive seems like a very harsh term to describe your behavior. Abuse is defined as "a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner." Based off of what you described, this behavior does not seem abusive. It's possible to hurt people unintentionally without it being abuse.
agree
Agree. I want to give Lauren a hug and tell her she is a good person. Not abusive, not narcissistic, not trauma-inducing, not any of the negative words she used to describe herself in this video. As psych survivors we internalize so much shame and guilt that doesn’t belong to us.
This may be symptomatic.
It is 100 percent abusive to bring kids to a psych unit and explain your terrifying delusions of being poisoned with them. Absolutely, positively abusive. She's is not their mother. I would never forgive someone for exposing my children to that. It would be a cold day in hell , in fact, before I ever left them alone with her. I probably would not let them even see her. Her delusions were about the kids. Everyone is so loving and she deserves compassion. But she is hurting someone else's kids. It's so uncool. If she wants to expose her TWO YEAR OLD to that, ok. But the mother of the other two needs to protect them immediately.
@@CHAILIFE She didn’t bring her kids to the psych ward. That was Rob’s choice. Then she carefully answered the eight year old’s questions about her symptoms when they got home.
This is NOT abuse. This is like visiting any other family member who is sick in the hospital and providing an important educational experience.
It’s a chronic illness and the fact that you knew you were in trouble and took action is huge. It’s awesome to see you at home and healing. …and please don’t worry about giving the wrong impression on camera. I hope everyone understands that these videos are just a snapshot of your life and putting it together for the camera is about a human as one can get. The effort you make to help us understand is truly appreciated.
Rob is such a great interviewer and thank you for elaborating on certain questions.
Rob is an intelligent, educated, enlightened, cool person. For all the people trying to imagine that Rob is the problem. Raspberries
100%, Rob is exactly the kind of partner someone with chronic mental illness needs. Rob haters WTF???
@@jacquelineleitch7050intelligent enough to feed her a self-deprecating picture of who she is while he controls her every move like an abusive parent instead of partner
@@alienatedd Do you want me to argue with you or are you just correct?
@@alienatedd you sound like you may be projecting. Have you recently started watching this channel?
As a mom of 3 who has debilitating panic disorder, I so appreciate you showing up in this way for moms who struggle with mental illness, to help people understand that our illness does not minimize our love and care for our children. When you talked about that it brought tears to my eyes, because I know what it's like to feel like I'm failing them when my mental illness is at it's worst. I'm so happy that you have a family who just loves and supports you through it.
I just got out of the mental hospital 4 days ago and im trying to remember everything that happened. Youve inspired me to talk about what happened, thank you so much for posting this. Im sorry both of you experienced trauma.
Rob, I hope you’re doing ok. I know what it’s like to deal with anxiety and depression and still feel responsible for someone else who deals with mental illness and I wish you nothing but strength.
You are not a fraud for putting on makeup & an outfit. Ppl don't put the hard things on the internet. You are incredibly brave. And if makeup helps you feel more comfortable to get on camera... that's absolutely OK. And yes, psych hospitalizations are horrific. I'm so happy you're home & feeling a bit better. ❤
I think it's odd that people criticize you for being "too well". I wouldn't expect you to make videos in a psychotic state. That said, I do think that it's probably valuable for people to see the not-so-neat parts of the experience. Also, I can understand why you might be embarrassed about irrational beliefs, but I think the vast majority of people here understand the nature of the illness and don't take your delusions as a reflection of anything you seriously believe.
It’s a real issue. Many people say that to me too. That I look well, that I can express myself coherently despite my mental disorders and it’s difficult. People don’t believe you and dismiss your problems or think you are exaggerating when you say you need help because you don’t look like it. 😢
I agree. Well said! 😊
@isaflechas same. Everyone says oh your so nice and they they see my IED episodes and then I'm embarrassed and ashamed
Well said! Agree 💯
I’ve become somewhat of a pro at hiding my symptoms and appearing fine on the outside so people don’t realize it’s the complete opposite.
Btw she has made a video of her in a psychotic episode but you would not apparently, i think she was in one cause she was pretty well composed and put together.
Thank you for sharing your story. My mother was diagnosed schizophrenic in her late 40's. It did not have a happy ending for my family. Since I am no longer able to talk to her about it, your videos are giving me a little bit of insight into what she may have felt. In a way it gives me a tiny bit of peace and understanding.
A brave lady helping others by just being open and honest.❤
My psychosis only ever happened around my period. I had my ovaries removed (and also stopped taking meds- which were making it all worse) and have not had a single other psychotic episode. Do not underestimate the sickness and hormones.
I’m glad you found a solution 🙏
I have what has been diagnosed as PMDD, and have for many years struggled with depression, that I didn’t realize was connected to my cycle. Now, I believe that in the past it would always start before my period, and with little awareness, I would just let myself slip deeper into the darkness and not know how to get back. Watching this video, I recognize myself somewhat, but so far I’m able to push through without meds. I wonder at which point do you really KNOW you need medical treatment. I usually have suicidal thoughts, and a sense of “doom”, best way I can describe it is, world turns dark, people are cold and can’t be trusted, because they’re ill themselves (and most don’t realize it). Every time it feels pre apocalyptic? Like i’m done with my life and am now awaiting something that will bring clarity and put everything either to end, or in its place.
I just lately figured out this keeps happening around my period. Damn :/
Wow that's so interesting. Thanks for sharing. This is going into the memory bank.
@@masha5444 They can prescribe medications that you just take before your period. Meds make me worse, but for most people, this could help PMDD. Don't give up seeking treatment.
They can also put you on a birth control to stop your cycle.
You'll never realize how many people you have helped, being so open and vulnerable. Thank you so much.
As someone who has autoimmune disease, I can tell you first hand that being physically sick really effects me mentally. Like, really. I’m here because idk what box I fit in when I’m mentally unwell. I may not have schizoaffective disorder but there’s something, being here with you helps me so much. ❤
I feel you
What auto immune system do you have of you don't mind me asking
It's a grief process. You miss the person you once were, the things you no longer can do. I feel you. I also have an auto-immune disease, as well as bipolar disorder. It can clash in terrible ways.
But even if you don't have a previous experience with mental illness, chronic illness can play a role on your mental well-being.
My daughter who lives with me has a very complex autoimmune disease. I know stress on her body from the disease creates emotional stress which again affects her body. It is a terrible cycle
My heart goes out to you.
Yes. There is grieving also for the life you thought you would have. My daughter was in her early 20's when her disease really excelerated.
Lauren, you’re the hero, advocate and pioneer we need (no pressure! 😅), to blow the lid off the *utterly medieval* treatment of mental illness and the current, *terrible* experience of hospitalization.
Thank you SO much for sharing your experience and making us all feel a little less alone. ❤🙏🌈
Change must come. It must! When you’re feeling better, your next series could focus on what we can do as a community to educate, fund-raise, advance research, and improve support for mental illness.
Truly, you’re a gift! 🌈🩷
Looking forward to your autobiography one day! 😉
When even her own DOCTOR'S knee jerk response for a request for help is to CALL the POLICE and have her HANDCUFFED and transported to a Psych ward only to end up in jail!!!!!!!!!!
You are so brave. I couldn’t imagine living with this condition. I’ve had depression, suicidal thoughts in my past but that was due to my circumstances at the time and it was controlled with medication. Mental illness is still an issue that people don’t understand and luckily we have awesome people like yourself that put themselves out there to share awareness and be honest about it.
I am a RN and I have bipolar with psychotic features. I worked in psych nursing for a few years. I think you articulated your experience the best that I've ever heard. Thank you for sharing. It really resonated with me when you said you like to pretend you don't have a mental illness. I feel that way too because I am so high functioning but then I remind myself that I would not be so high functioning if I didn't do all the things meds, supplements, therapy, self care. Also I remind myself that I can do all those things and still get sick. I'm praying for you to recover well. Thank you for showing the hospital as well. I can't believe they allowed that but that was great.
³⁴0
My wife has been hospitalized 83 days. I haven’t had any contact with her in 78 days due to paranoia.
I miss Laura. ❤
Oh man. I can’t even imagine what you’re both going through. I’m sorry. 😔 💕
I'm sorry.
🙏🏼😢
I'm so sorry
May God bless you for having patience and love for your wife!!!! I hope you have the strength to stay with your wife and have patience with her.❤
You are helping de stigmatize mental health/mental illness. Thanks to you and Rob. ❤
When I listen to you and Rob, I understand my 35 yo sons experiences with his schizoaffective disorder so much more clearly. Thank you both from the bottom of my heart💕
I am so glad for this channel. My late mother had schizophrenia. There wasn’t much support on the subject to help us to help mother. To help us understand. We were poor but mom always managed to keep us clean, clothed, and fed. We had a roof over our head, but we lived in a high crime neighborhood. I was the youngest the worst impact on me by far was being made an enslaved scapegoat for my older narcissistic psychopathic sibling. Mother suffered much in life, I hope she is finally in peace and surrounded by the highest love! Thank you, for sharing your experience!❤❤❤
If this particular video episode of your journey doesn’t help, even if in a small way, bring us all closer to a stigma-free world regarding mental illness then nothing will. Open and honest conversation about every facet of what people with mental illness (and their loved ones) go through HAS to happen, or the stigma will persist. I've watched MANY of your videos and this one has had the most impact.Thank you and your husband and family soooo much for sharing. ❤
I am a retired social worker/mental health thetapist. After watching any of your viedo I have the utmost respect and admirat
Starting over from previous comment. As a retired social worker/mental health worker I havevthe utmost respect admiration for you, and all of the numerous viedos you put out. If only I knew you and your struggles 30 years ago I could have been a greater help to my clients!!! You put a face on mental health diagnosis specifically psychosis. Please, please consider sharing your experiences with individuals who are training as MD's or anyone considering working in medical and/ or mental health. Your sharing can't compare to book learning!!!!! Consider contacting medical schools near where uou live, or even far away...you are a GEM!!! And whatvthe hell....sitting in the er for 5 hours with no medication????? That wouldn't happen if you were diabetic! Speaking of diabetes if you were to look at your psychosis as diabetes maybe you can take some comfort. Soneone with diabtets does all the right things... eating a good diet, exercise, taking medications, and keeping a healthy weight, but yet their blood sugar rises or lowers at a dangerous level...they need to see the doc or be hospitalized to adjust their medications. It's the same with you. You do everything in yiur power to function to enjiy life and stay out of the hospital, but as with diabetes yiu needed an adjustment in yiur medications. And while I'm at it, who in the heck is bothered by your appearance??? You look to good, have make up on or perhaps you should look more disheveled....please, pkease you don't need to apologize to anyone. You my dear are my hero. Love to you, Rob and your kids. The world needs to hear more from you!!!
we all love you lauren, never forget that
💟 Lauren & Rob you are two wonderful humans. Thanks for all that you do.
I'm from India and people here in rural parts are really fools
I saw ur channel and now it is really helping me to handle my mother woth schizophrenia
You’re not alone because you have somebody who cares for you and loves you. And they are waiting for you when you get out. That makes all the difference! Our grown son has schizophrenia and has been hospitalized many times since 2013. It is always difficult and we have learned which psychiatric hospitals are better and which ones we will never visit again. It is always traumatic but sometimes a medicine change while in the hospital will help improve things a little. I’m so glad you made this channel for all of us out here in the same boat. Thanks! ❤ from David in Houston, Texas.
I have an intense need to wander or escape when I'm psychotic. Last time I quit my job and tried to take my car to run away to another state. You are not alone! I also had to do a day in the ER hallway while they tried to find me a bed last year. The nurse would ask if I was OK and the social worker brought me food but other than that I was left naked with no phone or anything to distract myself while I waited over 10 hours. It was hell. When the ambulance finally came to take me to a ward, the lady asked the nurse if I was a problem right in front of me. The trauma is real and horrifying! Hugs!
Been there done that. Reading your words shocked me then I realised I've been there too. Why is a relapse in mental illness not treated better? It's not a first episode. Bad system.
It’s so important to remember that growth and healing isn’t linear. We fall down, we drag ass, we get up and struggle in silence. but we are still working towards wellness. Your commitment to your own healing should be celebrated ❤
I wonder if you guys can see how many viewers watched the completion of this video. I estimate 100% of us saw it through, so please don’t apologize for a longer video than usual!
Thank you for being so vulnerable and honest, and this journey has helped everyone watching understand mental health better than they did before your first video when you were hospitalized.
I have schizotypal disorder. I can understand why Lauren struggles to explain exactly what happens when the underlying mental architecture asserts itself. In some ways, it's like trying to explain how the subconscious mind administers digestion. It's critical to attempt to explain these types of experiences, regardless. People like us need to be heard.
Schizotypal is a personality disorder which does not include psychotic symptoms , not the same symptoms as schizophrenia.
Lauren is diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. Some believe this is a variant of schizophrenia, some do not. Like schizoaffective, schizotypal disorder includes negative symptoms such as social anxiety, paranoia and magical thinking. Perhaps schizotypal has more in common with schizoaffective than schizophrenia.
Of course schizotypal people don't usually have auditory or visual hallucinations. Apparently some do; these don't persist as in schizophrenia. I have had few hallucinations myself. Schizotypal disorder and Borderline disorder were once lumped in to "Borderline Schizophrenic disorder". I think there is some disagreement among psychologists as to whether STpd is a personality disorder distinct from the schizophrenic spectrum. I can relate to things Lauren talks about but do not consider myself to be a schizophrenic person. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
@@ralphloen6901 I have been a mental health clinician for over 30 years. Never heard of Borderline Schizophrenic Disorder. I am not minimizing your experiences with mental health issues. Only trying to say that there is a significant clinical difference between Schizophrenia and Schizotypal PD. I agree Schizotypal has some similarities with Schizophrenia in that is are odd behaviors and beliefs. Be well.
@FlyingMonkies325 Thankyou for this explanation, it’s very descriptive. ❤ for you for bringing this battle experience out into a public shout. Wish you well ❤️🩹
You are so brave, sweet and transparent. I knew nothing about this diagnosis until listening to your channel. Thank you for the education. Kudos for being open and encouraging others to do the same. Rob, you are an amazing support!
Its not often people are open about their experiences, but Lauren enables an open conversation about these things on a large platform. You rock Lauren, I think you’re so resilient.
Sanitizing your uploads, “putting your best foot forward “ is so human. We want so much to maintain our dignity. Beginning this project was so helpful to so many of us. Getting more & more transparent and less afraid to tell your truth is hard- but so helpful to us- who suffer & try to help those who suffer. Compounding this struggle, is trying to “protect “ all the significant ones in your life. Here’s a grateful hug. ❤️
Well said
This world is such a better place with you in it. Wishing you peace in the upcoming months.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I have schizoaffective and I second ALL of this! I lost my kiddo in a custody situation bc of the schizo and this video shows the realities of what we go through AND the strengths and abilities we still have to live well. Good to have a supportive partner and loving people around you.
Lauren & Rob you two are such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing so openly what you’re going through with your illness. It has truly helped me understand how to better support people around me and be more open minded.
You’re making the world a better place and I have the greatest respect for you ❤
Don't be so hard on yourself Lauren. You're such an inspiration to me. You're not abusive, you can't blame yourself for the things you do when you're in a psychotic state you're very much not in control or at least have minimal control. You know you would never do those things if you were in a well state. You know you're a good person and you fight your illness so valiantly and love your loved ones so strongly. I have nothing but admiration for you.
It is abuse to bring young children to a psych ward and tell them about terrifying paranoid delusions.
@@CHAILIFE it’s not abuse to bring your children into a psych ward the same way it’s not abuse to bring a child into a regular hospital to visit a parent who is sick. And there is a child appropriate way to explain any illness.
Thanks!
Thank you for your support!
It's a success to know that you needed help and got it
My 21 year old son just had his first psychotic episode. Thank you for the insight and support you are providing through your own experience. Thank you.
❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you for being so transparent. You help me understand my children who have schizophrenia. 💝
Very courageous to be so transparant. Go you guys!
I had a rough and too long hospital experience after being hit by a car. The stress, trauma from the injury, lack of sleep, zero privacy, being checked on every hour through the night, and on and on... I know it is not the same, but still, I really cannot imagine experiencing something similar while also having a fuzzy reality. I'm so impressed with your ability to talk through such a fresh and difficult experience. Wishing you good health ❤️
I hope one day you will give yourself the grace you show so many others. Feel better soon.
Thank you so much for sharing all of your experiences
You have an amazing talent in communicating your feelings and thoughts! I'm really impressed.
You are a hero. Educating us about the actual experience of mental illness. You are brave, and courageous for surrendering your privacy to lift others up and educate those who don’t have this particular disorder. I so admire you and your family. I send you my admiration and my respect. Brava to you.
This has been so interesting and education to follow. I have mental health issues but I don't have schizoaffective disorder or psychosis so very interesting to see how it can be for a person suffering with it and how hospitalization can work.
I'm awed by your bravery to choose to be hospitalized. After the traumas of previous hospitalizations, it must have taken so much courage to move down that path. You are an amazing individual ... and that goes for Rob too.
It makes me cry to see you beating yourself up about how you treated Rob while experiencing psychosis. It is not your fault. You cannot control your thoughts and actions in this situation. You should be very proud of yourself that you went to the hospital voluntarily.
It's important that those of us who are mentally ill in this capacity to take responsibility when we mistreat those we care about. It's one, validating to your partner so that they don't feel as though they CAUSED the psychosis or did something to trigger it. But two, it helps us to acknowledge our actions when these things are getting bad. To identify the pattern. We cannot use our mental illness as a plain excuse or we will never really improve. So yes, I believe people should be understanding, BUT it's counterproductive to just pretend that the emotional/mental abuse didn't occur and brush it off. It also just let's them know we care and that we aren't proud of those actions and would do anything not to repeat them such as going inpatient. No one who is truly mentally ill likes to go to the hospital, they do it to be Progressive. Just a small take from a Bipolar Type 2 😊
@@SamiVortexI think it's important to recognise the symptoms but not carry shame and guilt, since it's not possible for the person experiencing mental disturbance to choose not to do it. I think she wouldn't tell another person they are responsible or should feel guilt and shame, which is a good way to ascertain whether it's a useful or healthy response. Acknowledgement and recognition, absolutely. Adding to a palate of stress and stigma, nope.
@meretriciousinsolent I mean I get what you're saying but if you allow yourself to mentally abuse those around your and never take accountability and apologize or feel bad for it, quite literally that's sociopathic behavior. Idk about you, but even being extremely mentally ill I feel bad when I treat people bad. It's the last thing I want. And that's a HUMAN emotion. Just saying "Yeah I mean you don't have to feel bad that you did that because you're mentally ill" is not helpful in the process of helping the people you love to overcome those symptoms. You're just giving them a scapegoat for the next time they treat someone bad, and they have gotten used to "oh honey it's because you're mentally ill" that will be the excuse every time. They won't feel the need to work on it in therapy because that's what they are being told by others. Then when those behaviors become to much and those people leave to shelter their own mental health, they are going to be confused as to what they did wrong. They have always been told by that person that the behaviors presented were justified by their condition. So it will lead to distrust, and shame. I'm afraid that by me telling my ex that it was okay for him to treat me and other people the way he did when he was feeling how he was, because he was undiagnosed and didn't understand what was going on, that led him to the idea that he'd never have to face a single consequence for any of his actions. Now I have a Protective Order against him and have to face him in court for the charges filed against him. Because when I finally told him "You know what, you can't just treat people the way you do without doing any work on your end to try to prevent it." Because anyone diagnosed Bipolar knows, we can prevent with certain therapeutic methods and working directly with an outpatient psych that we can learn how to control our behaviors. Its a little tougher with people with Schizophrenia or Schizoaffective disorder, but still can be controlled a little closer with the right treatments and such. I work in mental health, I'm in school to become a psych nurse. ANY licensed psychiatrist or therapist will tell you that anyone who wants to do better, can. There are many educational types of programs other there for all sorts of mental illnesses. Telling people about these isn't adding to the stigma, it's giving them resources to live a better life more in control of the things that are holding them back. You wouldn't ask someone with cancer not to take radiation because it would stigmatize cancer. So don't ask a mentally ill person not to seek the therapies that are designed to help them grow and achieve. No it doesn't make it go away, but it shows them a better way.
@@SamiVortex as the wife of a man suffering with psychotic mental health challenges, your saying this is extremely comforting for me to hear. as your loved ones, we take the brunt of it when we know you are not being your true selves. it truly helps us when you're able to acknowledge the hurt we may feel in the process.
@stkate1093 that's exactly why I say it too! It's already hard for us to hold stable relationships. If you find the person willing to stick around and you justify abusive behaviors with "Well I'm mentally ill, so you have to deal with it." Instead of "I'm so sorry, you're loved, appreciated, and what I did to you while in that state of mind wasn't okay. Thank you for not giving up on me." Then you're just pushing them away too. It's not harmful to realize when your behaviors are harmful. I stick by that 100%
Thank you for being brave enough to share your experiences. It has helped me be a better support of my son.
Thank you for these hospitalization episodes. It’s helps in so many ways, as a family member of a schizo effective - manic - bipolar person.
Your courage in radically, unselfishly, and honestly recounting your experience and your husband’s responses is extraordinarily valuable to so many people. Your willingness to be so vulnerable is rare. We are so fortunate to be presented with your honest and valiant commitment to de-stigmatize serious mental illness. You reveal what it feels like to not be able to trust your mind, and many people may never have that terrifying experience. May your painful experiences engender understanding and compassion in the minds of those who can now understand that articulate, intelligent, high-functioning, responsible, and attractive people can also have schizoaffective disorder. Thank you for being so real and to your husband for modeling radical acceptance and loving kindness for all of us.
she must love some brene brown 😊
I can tell from this video that you're a really good mom and your kids are lucky to have you. They'll most likely grow up with tons of empathy and make a positive difference in the world because of you.
You're an amazing woman. Rob is lucky to be with you.
This is a pretty amazing channel, and I applaud you both for taking this on…my wife has struggled with psychosis for our whole relationship of over 16 years and has had several hospitalizations throughout. These are hard for everyone involved and to deal with these issues the right way is difficult and hard to explain or comprehend, but you guys are doing a great job of it. Keep it up!
You are a wonderful role model for hope and that recovery is possible❣️
Please don't ever apologise for showing your best self and taking action on your appearance or working on yourself.
Some of us may feel threatened by how you sound or look because we can't or simply won't put that same effort into our own recovery and that's ok too.
Keep suiting up and showing us you're honest and vulnerable self because many of us see the Warrior inside of you that we aim to be ❤️ xx
Thank you for showing us your courage to change 🙏
You are an amazing person and your videos help people with all kinds of mental illnesses.❤️
Lauren, it's hard for me to explain just how much I respect you. I have depression, extreme anxiety and ADD. So I suffer with mental illness. I'll tell anybody about it. It needs to be out there, people need to understand that. I'm sure your staring your illness is helping many people who suffer with the same thing. I know I'm learning so much from you. You're a brave and lovely young woman. Of course you want to fix yourself up to go on camera. Don't listen to the negative feedback. 😊 One of these days I'll explain what happened to me on vacation one time, it was truly awful. Oh! the things that can happen to you when you say the wrong thing in the emergency room.
Jesus! I need to hear the story [she should start doing interviews, I think]
Rob's "I still love you very much" got me in the feels man. I'm trying to get ready for work here, I can't be crying mascara all over my face 😭
You help so many people with these videos. Thank you for being more open and vulnerable.
Thank you for being open about this. My husband was hospitalized last year, and still doesn't want to discuss it. You are more helpful than you realize. And good for you for mustering up the strength to put yourself together! Much love to you and your family.
This video is so authentic and your experience and Rob's are genuine and thank you both. How you feel is valid. Thank you for sharing everything you have, it does give so much insight that many are not willing or to afraid to share ❤
Your video helped me so much last week. I was in a mental health crisis and the fear or hospitalizing myself was terrifying and making everything worse. You helped de-stigmatize it and made me feel safer. Thank you.
No matter what you do, people on the internet will criticize you. If you show all your worst moments, they will say you’re attention-seeking or dramatic. If you only show your best moments they will say you’re a faker or inauthentic. If you wear makeup and look presentable then they will say you’re not really ill. If you don’t put on makeup people will say you’re not trying hard enough.
There will always be critics, but most people here are kind and support you. Do what you want and what makes you comfortable. I appreciate your channel. ❤
Don't apologize for wanting to be 'put together.' People will literally criticize people for anything and everything no matter what you do. Public figures can't win (I'm speaking from experience!!).
Your hospital experience was so eloquenty explained. Thank you! I had a psychotic episode 6 years ago was up for days and could feel myself slipping into another realm of existence and it’s paranoia on steroids. The hospital experience was chaotic ,loud , and not an environment conducive for our healing. Doctor finally gave me a med and 40 minutes later was ready to go home. But the first time and only time I went to a mental health facility the doors were so loud when shutting it sounded like gunfire. I’ve been living my life normally on one medication the past 6 years . I appreciate your honesty and watching your journey and you are not alone.
The information and ultimately education you are humbly providing is a true gift.
Thank you do much.
So proud of you for realizing you needed help. It just shows what a wonderful and loving mother you are.
So courageous - you have no idea how much you are helping people.
"It's complicated and messy." My adult daughter with sza had a similar experience in our local ER. Unfortunately, her dad and I were out of town when she had her psychotic break. After the dust settled, I contacted the hospital about her treatment in the ER. They were defensive, but as I suggested to them, please take my suggestions to help the next psychotic patient that enters your ER. There is a vast difference between care for emergency physical care and emergency mental health care.
With my brother having the same diagnosis compounded by alcoholism, I so appreciate your candid, vulnerable openness about your experience. From the ER to your encouragement to those with a mental illness to advocate for themselves to receive the treatment not only they need but deserve deeply resonates with me. My brother's experiences with law enforcement and medical personnel has been traumatic. From police taunting and treating him like a criminal to an ER nurse throwing wipes at him to clean self-inflicted wounds to how isolating the hospitalization and the mental illness is, it is so painful to watch him go through these experiences. He continues to seek help and guidance which is a challenge within itself because of limited resources. Thank you for what you are doing to raise a higher awareness. I admire your strength!
Does your brother have a community mental health case manager?
Thank you so much for your bravery to be so open and vulnerable about your experience. I have someone in my life struggling with schizophrenia but he is unable to communicate as well as you do about his experience. While I’m sure that your experiences are different, your willingness to share has given me the ability to understand him a little bit better. You are a blessing. ❤
Talking to your kids, with age-appropriate honesty will empower them and make them feel more confident around issues like this. Kids know when we hide things - it scares them ("If it is so bad that my parents won't tell me, it must be really bad...") In addition to empowering them, they will end up as incredibly compassionate and understanding adults - something we all need. Good job, mommy!
My mother hid her mental illness from me until I was about 14 and when she told me it felt like my whole world shifted and nothing ever felt the same again… I wish she had just explained it with age appropriate language as I grew up. Especially because I grew up to have a panic disorder not dissimilar to hers
You are doing wonders to educate so many people. Those who are critical of your version of illness and wellness and how much you share, are expecting you to embody the entire experience of all people with schizophrenia. You do not owe anyone a deep view into your most vulnerable moments. What is important is that you talk thoughtfully and honestly and use your experiences and privilege to bring awareness in ways that other people with the same illness do not have the capacity or resources to. I am so glad to see and hear you talk about this experience with positive aspects to it and I will look forward to more content and education- sans hospital.
You're so well-spoken and a great educator. Thank you for taking the time to tell us about your experiences - I imagine it's difficult at times to talk about stuff that's so personal to you but I'm incredibly grateful that you are. Take care of yourself ❤️
Thank you for sharing this. Rob sounds like a great partner and so supportive and understanding.