The SECRET World of Male Body Dysmorphia | Tim Tollefson X Rich Roll Podcast
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- Опубліковано 1 чер 2024
- Rich sits down with ultrarunner Tim Tollefson to talk about his struggles with body dysmorphia & disordered eating and the tools he has used to reform a positive relationship with food and his body. To read more about Tim and peruse the full show notes, go here👉🏾bit.ly/richroll778
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FILMED AND EDITED BY BLAKE CURTIS & DAN DRAKE
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00:00:00 Intro
00:00:45 Tim's Decision to go Public with his Struggles
00:02:57 The Power of Shame in Keeping Struggles Hidden
00:07:09 The Impact of Vulnerability
00:09:55 Vulnerability and Social Media
00:10:56 Men and Eating Disorders
00:13:21 Internalizing Emotions and Shame
00:21:28 Body Dysmorphic Disorder
00:23:35 Struggles with Food and Bingeing
00:26:03 Traumatic Experience at Church Camp
00:32:29 Traumatic Childhood and Generational Improvement
00:34:26 Ad Break
00:35:25 Unhealthy Relationships with Food and Athletic Performance
00:45:39 Comparison and Joy
00:47:31 Male Athletes and Disordered Eating
00:53:34 Lack of Lasting Happiness
00:56:49 Realizing the Need for Help and Impact on Relationships
00:59:13 Food as an Enemy and Living in a State of Terror
01:07:09 The Powerlessness and Chaos of OCD
01:08:05 Self-Judgment and Reflection
01:09:53 The Need for Improved Resources for Eating Disorders
01:18:15 Recovery as a Habit
01:19:35 Living in the Present Moment
01:25:34 Pressure and Performance
01:29:58 Importance of Community and Vulnerability
01:31:16 Impact of Sharing Struggles and Connecting with Others
01:36:15 Trail Fest as a Platform for Community and Self-Discovery
01:40:55 Struggles with Sponsorship
01:43:00 Changing Mindset and Goals
01:48:01 Consistency and Longevity in Endurance Sports
01:51:34 Impact of Proper Training on Trail Running
01:53:38 Delayed Gratification and Emotional Control
01:56:29 Supporting Someone with Mental Health Issues
02:02:51 Non-Judgmental Awareness
02:04:06 Recognizing the Seriousness of Eating Disorders
02:10:55 The Power of Letting Go and Surrendering
02:16:21 Closing
* * * * *
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Hi I'm Rich Roll. I'm a vegan ultra-endurance athlete, author, podcaster, public speaker & wellness evangelist. But mainly I'm a dad of four. If you want to know more, visit my website or check out these two the NY Times articles:
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"It's important to let people know you love them." "No amount of guilt is going to change the past and no amount of anxiety is going to change the future." Tim and Rich, all the peace, plants, and love to ya.
finally someone is talking about this
This is a wonderful podcast - as are they all. I'm a 59 year old British woman and know nothing about elite runners, but this is such brave, thoughtful and careful discussion that goes way beyond "sharing". Truly humane. Brilliant!
Doing IF and low carb after years of neglecting my physique and "abusing vending machines" I definitely feel guilty if I snack outside of my designated eating window. Also feel guilty if I take more than one day off in a row from the gym- if I do miss 2 days I feel like I need to work out extra hard for multiple days in a row to make up for it. I fear that if I dont maintain strict discipline, it will be easy to fall back into old bad habits. Not sure where the line is between being disciplined and becoming disordered, but definitely see how this can turn into a trap for people.
Good point. Low carb/carnivore and intermittent fasting has eliminated my arthritis and aches and pains, which enables me to workout daily. It lowers inflammation. If I stick with this diet, I feel much better. Is this a bad thing?
Tim is such a great dude. More ultra runners please, Rich!
Get more ultra runners on this show. They all have a story. This was a great episode! Thank you!
Tim is a legendary runner, he just finished the world’s biggest 100 miler at UTMB! I’m glad you released this episode - as a 23 year old ultrarunner I’ve struggled with body dysmorphia since I was like 8 or 9 years old and I need to figure out how to rid myself of it. I am also in school right now to pursue a career in kinesiology!
Congrats, man! Those are some big feats! I bet leraning how robust and also delicate we are internally is gonna give you some great perspective. Fellow runner and person wishing you well and so much success.
What would Tim suggest you do? When I ask that, after listening to the podcast, I think it’s pretty clear he would suggest you seek help (therapy) ASAP. He mentioned the thought process that it will take care of itself or you will eventually outlast your body dysmorphia is flawed logic. And then sooner you seek help, the sooner your road to recover
Working with both a therapist and a nutritionist to try and kill off these demons, Tim & Rich’s conversation couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. Happy with the progress I’ve made but extremely aware that I still have a ways to go… need to just keep being brutally honest with myself and others. Just got blood work this morning.
It’s so easy to hide and make excuses that I think having these people in my life is a great way to avoid beating around the bush and to tackle these issues head on.
I was anorexic for 4 years, ages 16 thru 20. It was a way for me to have some sort of control in and for my life. Also from a very religious childhood, and there were NO boundaries whatsoever. What I ate or didn't eat was something I could have control over.
Also a former ultrarunner. Running saved my life....that and my therapist
I try to educate myself in these areas. Married 24 yr to an addict. Through relapse/recovery/relapse many times. Steroids were his latest,gym workouts,
Porn,social media. I’m 9 mo away,divorce signed. In my healing these channels help me . I’m less alone in my journey of becoming who I was though these yrs. I prey for his recovery ,I did have yrs here & there,to see where he could become & feel relief. I will say social media gave home constant supply.
I’m now understanding the use of steroids for yrs has changed his brain at 64. He possible now? is bisexual ? Once again social media was so addictive
to new possibilities? Don’t really know but all you discuss was so much out last yr. TY for sharing.
1:13:07 I would've been making stuff up too rather than admit my challenges❗️ This is a tough conversation that most of want to keep private 🤫
I was just explaining to my wife how I think all the steroids in the 80s and 90s warped my ideal body image. Crazy to see this pop up in my feed. Looking forward to listening.
Being a professional female athlete as a teen this space and conversation in athletes about body comparison in looks AND performance is massive. So great to just hear this conversation, more discussions around this topic would be awesome❤️🙏🏼 thanks for the great content.
Thank you so much for giving this important conversation a platform and for sharing it so openly, it resonated with me. A special thanks to you Tim, for mentioning different "themes" of OCD and that it's not simply wanting your pens in order, as it's a very misunderstood and misrepresented disorder still. Seeking out - and being willing to receive - help with issues like these can be so rewarding, in ways one cannot fully understand while being stuck in the loop. I wish all the best to both of you, and to anyone finding this conversation in any way personally relatable.
Thank you for sharing. I was a ballerina and I can relate with the perfectionism, mirror checking, etc. You are ✨✨✨,
Tim is to be admired. Great runner and person. Sharing this takes courage and conviction. I am a fan and wish him the very best!
I've never related to a guest more than this in the thousands of hours I've spent listening to podcasts and video interviews.
Tim is so similar to me in almost every way. I'm only a few years younger. I grew up in Nebraska with nice parents who went through a lot more than I have. I'm an exceptional athlete, but in volleyball instead of running. Alcoholism runs in my family and I've suffered through all of the things he talks about suffering through himself. He pretty much explains me better than I could ever explain myself to people who care about me.
Maybe you could share this convo with them.
Such a tremendous discussion - thank you, Rich and Tim! Been on a long healing journey with anorexia and related a lot. Deep gratitude to you both, and thank you Tim for sharing your story and insights.
Thank you so much Tim and Rich for this beautiful conversation- as an artist I can be so hard on myself getting my work out there so this definitely transcends not only my world but so many others - I’m working hard to trust the process and let go as well ❤
Wow! I'm also an artist and what you said here is EXACTLY how I'm feeling too. Doing the best I can to start getting out of my own way. Just gotta go for it and trust the process.
It’s so important to explain how complex mental health is
Hi Tim and Rich.
As someone who've been struggling the last 20 years with severe germ related OCD, PTSD, stints of bulimia, and orthorexia, I would just like to... thank you for humanizing the struggle so many of us face. OCD likes to push you down, diminish and deplete your self-worth. It's so easy to look at yourself like a monster when you can't live up to your "theoretically perfect" self, and to use that as a club to beat yourself with. We must stop, and realize that our brains will throw all kinds of dirt on us, it will try to manipulate us into feeling bad about ourselves and keep up with our obsessions. To break the pattern we need to be kind to ourselves, while keeping in mind that we will be hurtful to ourselves often, but this hate isn't real, it's constructed by our brains so that we will keep the cycle going, and once we overcome something, it will try to create something new. When we learn to notice which of our thoughts are from "us" or constructed by a fear of not living up to the theoretically perfect, the imagined ideal, we can choose to be compassionate and patient, eventually it's grasp on us won't feel so suffocating.
Much love
Im a male (37) with severe Bdd. It’s so hard to enjoy life… thanks for this..
Tim should write a book on this subject!
Incredible conversation. Thank you Tim, thank you Rich.
OMG. I didnt know male also experience this. When you saw Tim, you wouldnt notice he stuggled from OCD n body image. This what makes mental health is so abstract. Prople might see Tim as a person who is doing so great in life and his body looks healthy but we never know what people feel. Thank you for sharing this awereness. Starting to eat healthy (only eat cooked veggies, fruits, fish and meat and no prossesed) I understand this. Not because I want to be thin but I actually have fear that I will lose weight and I dont eat anything that have added sugar only from dates or fruits. I do look my body every morning and I feel kinda dissapointed when I dont gain healthy weight. The fear of being too thin kinda scares me. But I have been learning to accept my body. I know since I limit my foods (only certain healhty foods) this makes me so uncomfortable with like foods people made and I cant eat them. This limitation creates kinda small fear "oh why I dont eat it, my family made that " "I want to eat that but it has ketchup so no". I know I am on the opposite (I want to gain weight instead. But I understand this disorder). More interviews on mental health please. Topic about CIRS and diabetes as well please.. Thank you
Awesome episode learned a lot.
Beautiful conversation, thank you so much for this! ❤
This conversation had good flow and chemistry. Both were humble and made the topic relatable, even if the specifics are different.
Wow! Thanks, Tim!
You're one of my idols, Tim!!
I'm an ultrarunner also, 100 miler. Ultrarunning helped cure my body and mind.
Tim is such a great guy I love how he says and a dreamer that what a lot of us are that’s sometimes a good thing
The vulnerability shown by Tim is so powerful.
Really enjoyed the conversation
Thank you for sharing.
thank you so much for speaking out, tim.
i totally related to this episode and everything it encompasses. the ending is incredible and this is, without a doubt, one of the coolest chapters of the RRP. congratulations to both!
Sounds all too familiar. Thank you for sharing. Wishing you all the best healing and health.
Wonderful. What a wonderful conversation between two amazing human beings. Loved it.
Thank you so much
This was incredible
Such a great conversation, thank you. I used to equate surrender and letting go with defeat… but I’ve come to see that it really is victory.
Very good podcast, thanks Tim for being so open and thanks Rich for hosting this special guest.
Tim is a hero.
Tim is brave and strong.
I have huge admiration for Tim Tollefson, whom I've followed since he came on the ultrarunning scene, and greatly appreciate him opening up and spreading awareness about disordered eating and distorted body image. However, Rich, I really wish you had let him talk more and simply asked him questions to let his story unfold. I found the first half of the episode frustrating; it featured so much analyzing about disordered thoughts and behaviors in general--and so much talking on your part, often redirecting the conversation back to yourself--that we the listener couldn't get Tim's story. It wasn't until the second half that we started to hear and understand some of the specifics of Tim's behaviors and thoughts and what had actually happened. How about asking simple questions and then letting the guest tell their story from the beginning?
Love ya Timmmmmmmmy!!!!!!!!!!!
Well ultramarathoning is an activity that, in itself is a form of escape from the world, responsibilities and social obligations. It’s nearly always impossible to embrace and be successful at something when your identity was and is part and parcel to the allure of that activity.
Rich are you ever going to have Destiny on. I would love to see that conversation
Rich you should let your interviewees do most of the talking.
I love your videos, you are a very good UA-camr, can I get a comment heart?
❤
Tim reminds me of JFK, Jr.! 😂
Thanks for talking about this stuff!
DEAR LORD THANK YOU FOR THIS HAHA!!!!
YOU ARE JUST SITTING THERE BEING HONEST ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH AN INSANE MIND AND IM SITTING HERE AND I SWEAR MY CONSCIOUSNESS IS MERGING WITH YOURS!!!!
WELL THE PART OF MY CONSCIOUSNESS THAT ALSO EXPERIENCES THE INSANITY OF THE SOMETIMES CRAZY AND FEROCIOUS MIND!!!!! THANK YOU FOR PUTTING YOUR WORDS TO THIS EXPERIENCE!!!! AND THANKS AGAIN RR😁😁😁💜🙋♀️💜🙋♀️💜.
THE FACT THAT I CAN CLEARLY SEE MYSELF AND MY IDENTIFYING WITH THE INSANITY OF CONSTANTLY FEELING UNWORTHY AND YET I WELL KNOW WHO I REALLY AM AND OF COURSE IM WORTHY !!!!!!
IRRELEVANT WHAT GETS DONE……. IT WILL NOT MATTER…..
🖤🖤
❤❤❤
I find pain and suffering as a value also has religion as a source. Not only does valuing hard work in and of itself disconnected from goals have a religious source, pain and suffering has been elevated as holy because Jesus suffered on the cross and we should be like him. We will be loved if we are like Jesus, etc. That confuses and conflates his experiences with his character.
1:32:00 people aren't going to remember the races you won, it's more about - how did you make them feel
Thank you for this great interview. For anyone who might be struggling with food, there is a 12 step fellowship inspired by AA: overeaters anonymous. (the name does not make it clear, but anyone with food or body image related compulsions is welcome). 1:10:08
❤❤
I love you Rich... but I thought you were putting words in his mouth even if you are right, the guest should be allowed to finish his own sentence/thoughts
Kombucha gets rid of anxiety
One a day keeps the doctor away
Literally
Untreated anxiety creates a lot of alcoholics.
Rich
Shorten your table PLEASE
Veganism will make you depressed. We need animal fats in our diet to be healthy and happy, so it’s not surprising to me that Rich Roll is right on track with comprehension of what this interviewee is suffering.
When you get fitter yourself you notice others who are lithe
Ultrarunning RDs need to drug test.
To me this man’s suffering is to a great part the result of toxic religion.