when i was almost one my mom got mad at me for throwing away her sweets. then i said "my dearest mother, those sweets are not healthy." Those were my first words. She started crying tears of joy and then everybody from our apartment building came in and clapped. Later, my mom died from natural causes and i was adopted by obama.
I went to a Michelle Obama concert once. She pulled me onto the stage and we sang classic 80s rock songs together. Then she looked at me and said, "keep the change, luv" in a posh British accent. I fainted and fell and then Gwen Stefani caught me and said, "I bet the oranges are burnt, huh?" I fainted and then I fainted. True story.
One time I was singing in the bathroom in my school. I thought that I was alone but there was a bully in the stall next to the mirror who got on top of it and recorded me singing and post it on (insert social media) everybody in the school saw it and when they saw be the next day they started clapping and praising me saying how talented I was. Then Obama came over and offered me to sing at the white House. This took place in 2014 Now, I'm doja cat
My 1 year old daughter just said her first words! She rapped the entire Hamilton musical! And she did the choreography! And the entire country started clapping! Then some government agents came and took her away for testing or something. Hopefully they'll give her back at some point.
Lukewarm Water Me first reply, me one year old and go to highschool and I can do algebra 1 I work for my mommy and me know how count money and I have credit card
My daughters first words were literally "For me, despair is not a goal, or a set of principles, or a lifestyle, or even an instinct... It's what defines me-” Couldn’t be happier, even if she didn’t finish the sentence. I can tell little Junko will grow up to help so many people
well *ACTUALLY* my kids first words were “hey what’s up you guys, if you’re new to my channel, what’s up how’s it going?, and if you’re coming back what’s up? how’s it going? it’s very good to see you again.”
@@cance.dressing you get an extra greeting at the begining of every video.So subscribe to my channel...F O R A N E X T R A G R E E T I N G. F O L K S *CLAP*
I’m 14 years old and my 16 year old daughter just said her first words after I gave her her first beer and she said “The government is corrupt” she’s only 5
My 2 year old son was at a mcdonalds and the cashier told my son he's stupid and my son said "You made a mistake mortal, you do not know my power. I can invert your organs with my finger, I can destroy your life with moving my tiny eyes, your spine will collapse in 30 seconds if you do not apologize and give me the entire store for free.". Then everyone started clapping 😊
OMG I'M SO PROUD OF HIM. As a fellow 5 year old parent, I know how hard it can be to raise your middle-aged children. It's such a hastle! Congratulations!
@@Akuma-qv5zi still wouldn't make sense even if the ages were switched, since women are unable to birth children after 50-51 or sometimes in their 40's.
Yesterday my little son told me in the middle of the night, “mother, why do people tell lies? Do they want approval from other people? Do they want to make laugh? Why? People should only lie with wholesome intentions.” My son was 3 days old
I love how, like, it could have been super easily explained that like, "i honestly just never put it together," or, "I'm not really familiar with how Zip Codes work" could have worked. I'm 23 and I barely know my own home address...but then they jump the shark and go the amnesia route. It's perfect
My sister did “technically” not talk until she was able to say phrases and names and shit, but it’s not like she was just brain dead for three years and then suddenly acquired the knowledge to speak sentences and stuff. She just didn’t like talking
So basicly my wife just gave birth to our hour old child and in the hospital he recited the entire book of the art of war and a bus behind us clapped like my hour year old knows this
One time my mom was pregnant with me and the hospital gave her epidural, so she was a little loopy. Well she popped the baby out and when she was signing the documents as far as what name would be, I yelled and told her “Think of the consequences before you write anything down lady.”
Wait until you watch "the disastrous life of Saiki kusuo", he was teleporting to shop groceries when 1 year old. In fact, he started talking when he was 1 month old. Its his parents writing these posts.
no cap my mom was yelling at the delivery man and my dog physically said, "only I can yell at them!" and proceeded to transform into cinderella. All the dogs in the neighborhood escaped and barked in approval.
15:15 The first story (the yes I can one) honestly could be true. There are stories of kids who don’t talk until they’re older. Sometimes it’s because their parents fight a lot or sometimes because they just aren’t ready to talk. But they can talk in full sentences because they listen to others talking
but talking is more than listening and understand words. you still have to practice moving your mouth, tongue, throat, vocal chords, etc. like it's still a thing you have to practice. so sure they might say mutilple words in one "sentence" but it will be incoherent and rather garbled because they don't have the skills yet to properly control the sounds.
"Pull the plug!" "Shes not even on life support. There is no plug to pull." "Then put her on life support and pull the plug." One of my favorite lines, probably ever
My brothers first words were: *"Mother I would greatly appreciate if you would buy a baked good with lots of carbohydrates shaped as a circle please."*
I just picked up my dog from the shelter and I tried to take a picture of him with my phone and he said “mother, we don’t need smart phones. Just be in the moment
Today my paralysed deaf blind mute autistic premature 2 day old niece said her first word today (a miracle blessing from God). She said “phone bad book good” and started handing pancakes to homeless people on the floor after a hurricane while telling them to get jobs like the legless man who was using a book as an umbrella. Such an inspiring story ❤️ ❤️
when my kid was a month old she recited the entire Bill Of Rights and the Constitution, and then obama showed up and awarded her the noble peace prize. kids are the greatest haha.
My childs first words were actually: "Father, I find it saddening that our fellow human beeings feel so inadequate about themselves that they wouldn`t even lie about something they themselves accomplished but that they have to live out success through obvious make belief about their offspring." So yeah. Looking for an exorcist.
When my brother was -4 he came up to me crying, and when I asked him what was wrong he said that I'm on my phone too much. And then he turned into a whale and my dog ate him. I fed my phone to the dog and then he came back alive and everyone clapped. So the lesson is don't be on your phone too much also feed it to your dog.
This morning, my 2 year old son saw a woman refusing to wear a mask in Del Taco, so he stood up and said 'Do not call me handsome, if you ain't gonna hand me some of that badonkydonk!' Everyone clapped and the barista gave us free cappuccinos for life! #proudmom
Im 12 and my 14 year old son said his first words. They were "the cure for cancer is..." He didn't get to finish bc he died. He turns 15 this month. Ima get him a motorcycle.
That pen pal one is so funny because he could've said, "oh, it was a pen pal service you sent the letters to, to protect everyone's privacy." But instead my guy just goes with amnesia.
Tbh atleast here were I am peps call ''penpals'' even through mail penpal-friends. So he could have easly ''corrected'' himself by saying ''oh there was no adress bc....'' Ore heck just ''well I am pretty stupid, somehow didn't noticed.'' Would have 100% worked for me tbh...
But you shouldn't really be able to pull the dumb card. They claim they were penpals for 30 YEARS. You mean you ain't moved, they ain't moved, or you havnt talked to your neighbor in all that time when both y'all have been living there. You don't realize your atleast 35 year old ass is writing almost the same address on an envelope twice?? Playing the dumb car would just straight up not work, maybe if you only think about it for like 5 seconds at the most, but any more than that and it's busted
My son was only a week old when he said "never gonna give you up,never gonna let you down,never gonna run around and desert you,never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye,never gonna tell a lie and hurt you" everyone in the neighborhood clapped.
My baby said his first words at the young age of 2 months! The first thing he EVER said was “e=mc^2”! He grew up to be Leonardo Da Vinci. I’m so proud of him!!! 😊😊😊
One day I when I went to the swimming pool with my unborn child I asked her why she didn't speak yet. Then she turned and said "Ive been speaking for years. I am that pen pal you have been talking to ever since you were a child. You just had amnesia and couldn't remember." Then she did a fortnight dance and the pool manager exploded
Omg my 2 month old actually started babbling so i took out my camera and recorded her and she said "A 3.5-ounce (100-gram) serving of chicken breast provides 165 calories, 31 grams of protein and 3.6 grams of fat (1). That means that approximately 80% of the calories in chicken breast come from protein, and 20% come from fat." im such a proud mama!! unfortunately i tripped over frozen gluten free pancake mix and my phone flew out my hands and all the way to ibiza so its a shame i lost the video but im still a proud mama!
Omg rlly?! My son said the whole bee movie script, but when he was done my camera flew out of mii hands and down the stairs it deletep it self... 😟😞😖🙁😭😢😩😧😦😨😵😬😰😨😱😦🙁😔😒😕😲😳😨😖😟😖😖😨😤😢😭😬😠😡😞😧😧🤯
I still can't believe how hilarious this dude is "Pull the plug" "She isn't on life support, there's no plug to pull" "Well put her on life support and then pull the plug"
So my son woke me up one night, in tears. I asked him why and he said, "why do people lie on the internet for clout instead of finding a hobby that could benefit mankind?" And then everyone in the starbucks clapped and the manager got arrested.
When I was -1 I told my mom “mother, Speech is a human vocal communication using language. Each language uses phonetic combinations of vowel and consonant sounds that form the sound of its words (that is, all English words sound different from all French words, even if they are the same word, e.g., "role" or "hotel"), and using those words in their semantic character as words in the lexicon of a language according to the syntactic constraints that govern lexical words' function in a sentence. In speaking, speakers perform many different intentional speech acts, e.g., informing, declaring, asking, persuading, directing, and can use enunciation, intonation, degrees of loudness, tempo, and other non-representational or paralinguistic aspects of vocalization to convey meaning. In their speech, speakers also unintentionally communicate many aspects of their social position such as sex, age, place of origin (through accent), physical states (alertness and sleepiness, vigor or weakness, health or illness), psychological states (emotions or moods), physico-psychological states (sobriety or drunkenness, normal consciousness and trance states), education or experience, and the like.“ Then the people on the plane flying towards our building started clapping
hey kurtis, i know this video is old and i know you won't see this but i'm a little too drunk to care about that right now but i just wanted to tell you that i am grateful that you make content because it's genuinely so comforting and it helps me so much through tough times i'm struggling with a lot personally and watching your videos makes my days just so much more brighter thank you so much for making all this content!!
Beast Burchett lol this is unrelated but once at the end of my school year we had to do a reflection of what we learned. i just answered “the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell” no cap
Me first words were " According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. "
Yesterday I heard my grandma say: “yo shawty wanna hit a lick?” And I was like “yo hell ya” Then we both snorted a massive amount of cocaine and my step grandpas ashes! Let me tell you...that lady knows how to yodel!
I was playing with my 1 year old (F), and she said "this is your heart." So I said "what are you made of?"and she replied with " Water (35L), Carbon (20Kg), Ammonia (4L), Lime (1.5Kg), Phosphorus (800g), Salt (250g), Saltpeter (100g), Sulfer (80g), Flourine (7.5g), Iron (5g), Silicone (8g), and 15 traces of other elements!" Wow. Sometimes they teach you a thing or two!
my first words were: Союз нерушимый республик свободных Сплотила навеки Великая Русь. Да здравствует созданный волей народов Единый, могучий Советский Союз! Славься, Отечество наше свободное, Дружбы, народов надежный оплот! Знамя советское, знамя народное Пусть от победы, к победе ведет! Сквозь грозы сияло нам солнце свободы, И Ленин великий нам путь озарил. Нас вырастил Сталин - на верность народу На труд и на подвиги нас вдохновил. Славься, Отечество чаше свободное, Счастья народов надежный оплот! Знамя советское, знамя народное Пусть от победы к победе ведет! Skvoz grozy siialo nam solntse svobody, I Lenin velikij nam put ozaril. Nas vyrastil Stalin - na vernost narodu Na trud i na podvigi nas vdokhnovil. Slavsia, Otechestvo chashe svobodnoe, Schastia narodov nadezhnyj oplot! Znamia sovetskoe, znamia narodnoe Pust ot pobedy k pobede vedet! Мы армию нашу растили в сраженьях, Захватчиков подлых с дороги сметем! Мы в битвах решаем судьбу поколений, Мы к славе Отчизну свою поведем! Славься, Отечество наше свободное, Славы народов надежный оплот! Знамя советское, знамя народное Пусть от победы к победе ведет
Mine were : "I'm WAY too sleep deprived to deal with your negativity right now." And then everyone in Singapore came to my house and screamed as 456 Alexas played Africa by Toto.
Not talking can be a sign of autism. My sister is an autistic perfectionist and she did this with her first words (I don’t remember what they were). She also wouldn’t walk until she could run. And she was much older than other kids were when they started talking, I think like 3
i love when someone makes a post lying and then someone else is like “it’s true!! i knew them blah blah” and the op is like “dude i was so obviously lying tf”
3:11 I love how obvious this moment makes the fact that Kurtis just got back from a nation-wide tour with Danny and Drew, cause that aggressive pointing and baby talk is such Danny humour I love it
You know, Kurtis is so generous with his extra greetings. But do we, residents of Kurtistown, ever reciprocate our mayor’s kindness? No. So, Kurtis... What’s up? How are you? I hope you’re doing well, dude.
Ellie Muskens y’all my citizens woke me up out of my sleep crying and said ‘kurtis ik you tired of giving extra greetings trying to make it better for me and my fellow citizens. We will greet you today’ how are YOU doing kurtis
My first words were "The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start." Crazy right?
I would throw you away and run as fast as I could after filling the trash can you were in with holy water, cause you must’ve been the spawn of Satan. That thing gave me PTSD.
We have security cameras in my school as well, not just in american schools. They're in every classroom, hallway, locker room (basically every building) and outside buildings. The only place we don't have them is in the bathrooms and changing rooms Edit: Forgot to add that the cameras are only really looked at if there's a problem or if the non-teaching staff are hella bored
Actually, most schools do have security. Although not elementary schools, some hallways/back of the school areas have cameras, there’s usually only 1 or 2 security guards however, and they aren’t always at the computer, sometimes they’ll greet students in the office, or make sure nobody skips a class, break up fights, or kind of exist for the hell of it. Have a good day y’all! 😊
when i was almost one my mom got mad at me for throwing away her sweets. then i said "my dearest mother, those sweets are not healthy." Those were my first words. She started crying tears of joy and then everybody from our apartment building came in and clapped. Later, my mom died from natural causes and i was adopted by obama.
I'm sorry for your loss😥😢😰😨😱😓😥😢😨😴😴😪😢😢😰😓😪😰😵😰😮😵😳😯😑😨😨😭😓😓😪😢😵😓🤤😨😰😵😵😵😰😱😨😮😧😧😫😩☹️😣😖😔😔😒😒😔😟😟😢😢😰😰😰😲😐😶😯😳😢😓😞😞😞😞😔😖😣😣🙁😒😔😔😟😞😒😴😫😑😑🤧🤧🤧🤧🤔😭😓😪😨😰😱😰😴😰😨😮😵😵😲😲
😔😟😕🙁☹️🥺😩😫😖😣😢😭😤😠😡🥶🥵😳🤯😱🤬😨😰😥😥😓😭😤😠🙁🥺☹️😩🙁😫😕😖😟😣😔😢😟🙁😫🙁😩☹️😩😫☹️😖😕😖😟😣😟😖😫😫🙁😩🙁😩🙁🥺🥺ok
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I went to a Michelle Obama concert once. She pulled me onto the stage and we sang classic 80s rock songs together. Then she looked at me and said, "keep the change, luv" in a posh British accent. I fainted and fell and then Gwen Stefani caught me and said, "I bet the oranges are burnt, huh?" I fainted and then I fainted. True story.
@@SM-qv2om and then everybody clapped
One time I was singing in the bathroom in my school. I thought that I was alone but there was a bully in the stall next to the mirror who got on top of it and recorded me singing and post it on (insert social media) everybody in the school saw it and when they saw be the next day they started clapping and praising me saying how talented I was. Then Obama came over and offered me to sing at the white House.
This took place in 2014
Now, I'm doja cat
WAIT IS THAT... THE OBAMAS?
And then everyone clapped.
You had me in the first half ngl
WHY DONT U SAY SOOOOO?
Holy shit Doja Cat I love you!!1!!!11
My 1 year old daughter just said her first words! She rapped the entire Hamilton musical! And she did the choreography! And the entire country started clapping! Then some government agents came and took her away for testing or something. Hopefully they'll give her back at some point.
Hamilton LMAO
Best one yet
It's true, I was there.
Btw love your profile picture, happy Pride!
Lmfao dude holy shit
Btw I love that pfp. Happy pride month!!
@@jackkoscak8501 Happy Pride!! 🌈🌈
You can recognize a lie immediately when someone says “everyone started clapping” or something similar
what if it ended with "and everybody booed me"
@@zubetp then i'd believe it 💀
"and then I saved the world from an evil alien race and everybody booed me"
@@zubetp depends on what the reason behind the booing is
Yeah no that’s when I know damn well it’s satire
"Pull the plug!"
"She's not on life support."
"Then put her on life support and then pull the plug!!"
The likes are at 666-
Ah yes, I too watched the video.
@Inaaya Rathur
Why do people comment things like this?
Hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahagahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahajajjajajajahajahahahahah
@@sylviap837 3jjejwjwjw
I texted Kurtis Conner and he texted me back and said I'm *his hero*
I FORGOT THAT THE VIDEO WAS ABOUT LYING ON THE INTERNET FOR A SEC AND THOUGHT THIS WAS REAL, BYE- 💀💀💀💀
*claps*
Wow this deserves an A pls class stand all up and clap
And the comment section clapped
Liar! No way that nobody clapped!
“I think I’d be murdered if I didn’t do an extra greeting.” You got that right #kurtisconnerisoverparty
Lukewarm Water Me first reply, me one year old and go to highschool and I can do algebra 1 I work for my mommy and me know how count money and I have credit card
@@mxlkbread7433 what the hell
vashta me no curse, that bad
Haha
@@mxlkbread7433 are you okay?
My daughters first words were literally "For me, despair is not a goal, or a set of principles, or a lifestyle, or even an instinct... It's what defines me-” Couldn’t be happier, even if she didn’t finish the sentence. I can tell little Junko will grow up to help so many people
Uh oh
please put her down before she gets to high school
And then Monokuma clapped
@@TheNomad94 yep. Monokuma burst into the room and started clapping
Was gonna like, but you have 69 likes so I can't.
well *ACTUALLY* my kids first words were “hey what’s up you guys, if you’re new to my channel, what’s up how’s it going?, and if you’re coming back what’s up? how’s it going? it’s very good to see you again.”
@Molly Renee
mom?
And everyone started clapping
In order huh? Impressive
"...See what happened happens when you subscribe to my channel...."
@@cance.dressing you get an extra greeting at the begining of every video.So subscribe to my channel...F O R A N E X T R A G R E E T I N G. F O L K S *CLAP*
I’m 14 years old and my 16 year old daughter just said her first words after I gave her her first beer and she said “The government is corrupt” she’s only 5
So wise
this story is touching.
that kid grew up to be Kurtis Conner
Are you- 🤢🤢 are you a-🤢🤢🤢 I cant even say it.. 🤢 are you assuming your child’s gender 🤢🤢🤢
Freckle Feather Why are you assuming I have a child
me: *wakes up from surgery*
me: where's kurtis?
doctor: who do you think gave you the extra greeting?
me: :,(
Eddieee this sent me omfg
who do u fink gave u the teef
Best comment I've seen in a long time 😅
Number one comment of all time, this needs to be pinned
This is everything to me
My 2 year old son was at a mcdonalds and the cashier told my son he's stupid and my son said "You made a mistake mortal, you do not know my power. I can invert your organs with my finger, I can destroy your life with moving my tiny eyes, your spine will collapse in 30 seconds if you do not apologize and give me the entire store for free.". Then everyone started clapping 😊
I’m 5 years old and my 57 year old son just said his first words, he said, “Minecraft good Fortnite bad”! I can’t believe it, he’s only 57
My headaches just reading that lol
lmfao
Well it it was switched saying I'm 57 and my son is 5 that would make a lot more sense so this one isnt so bad
OMG I'M SO PROUD OF HIM. As a fellow 5 year old parent, I know how hard it can be to raise your middle-aged children. It's such a hastle! Congratulations!
@@Akuma-qv5zi still wouldn't make sense even if the ages were switched, since women are unable to birth children after 50-51 or sometimes in their 40's.
When Kurtis forgot the folks and the extra greeting: :(
When Editing Kurtis remembered: :)
That extra greeting makes me happy :’)
when Kurtis puts glasses on : :)
aha get it like four eyes cause glasses
relief, am I right)
I can go without the "folks 👏", but not without my extra greeting! 🥺
Kyte VaNa 4 eyes lol
Yesterday my little son told me in the middle of the night, “mother, why do people tell lies? Do they want approval from other people? Do they want to make laugh? Why? People should only lie with wholesome intentions.” My son was 3 days old
My baby son is the fourth reincarnation of Kierkegaard 💁🏾♀️ do better
A A Aw shoot!! Man your son sounds Sick!! :0
seems legit
Oh that’s cute! I remember when my son said the exact same thing but with Gandhi quotes at only 78 minutes soooo.....
Daizy Xoxo what?!?! Ok I think you’ve got us beat lol
I love how, like, it could have been super easily explained that like, "i honestly just never put it together," or, "I'm not really familiar with how Zip Codes work" could have worked. I'm 23 and I barely know my own home address...but then they jump the shark and go the amnesia route. It's perfect
Also there are pen pal services that don’t disclose addresses and that would be SUCH a simple explanation
my first word was “mother my human form is limiting”
Mine too
aww! mine were "I crave a sacrifice to keep my physical form in this realm"
Mine was woo woo hoo woo. My parents were pretty concerned.
Mine was aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Idk what mine was but my brothers was fuck- should've seen it coming that he curses to much and is racist and sexist and uses the r slur
Today my 1 year old finally spoke, his words were "We live in a society-"
Im14andthisisdeep
@@ssssSTopmotion same bru
*This bitch empty*
My first words-
Get a load of this society
@@kermitthefrog459 call 911 immediately
everybody gangster until kurtis almost leaves us extra-greetingless
BAHAHAHAHAAH
Forreal I was about to unsubscribe
Honey Baby for real for real that was NOT what I subbed for 😤
the folks clap is what keeps me going ✊
he was about to lose every subscriber
My sister did “technically” not talk until she was able to say phrases and names and shit, but it’s not like she was just brain dead for three years and then suddenly acquired the knowledge to speak sentences and stuff. She just didn’t like talking
the eye bit made me cry so hard that a whole bus drove past and clapped
JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA LPM
Dude that’s crazy the exact same thing happened to me
Are you lying too now?
@@wdse24 r/wooosh?
@@thegoods7011 double wooosh i was joking too
So basicly my wife just gave birth to our hour old child and in the hospital he recited the entire book of the art of war and a bus behind us clapped like my hour year old knows this
"hour year old"
That makes the comment even better
He knows a little more about fighting than you do pal!
The bus _itself_ Clapped
*girl wakes up after surgery*
“where’s kurtis conner?”
“he didn’t tell you?”
“what?”
“who do you think gave you the facetune eyes?”
*girl begins crying*
:'-(
Then after that day, she prayed to her cross made out of pepsi
Then everyone in the hospital clapped 👏🏼 💯
Nagito Komaeda haha like if you v I b e d
One time my mom was pregnant with me and the hospital gave her epidural, so she was a little loopy. Well she popped the baby out and when she was signing the documents as far as what name would be, I yelled and told her “Think of the consequences before you write anything down lady.”
fucked up that she went ahead and named you rosegoldpineapple936 anyway
That is true, I was the epidural
real i was the consequences
this is real i was the documents
Facts I was the mom
'I'm as naked as the day I was born' Kurtis was born with a chain and a nose piercing confirmed
Yeah I mean weren’t you?
*nakey
bay anslie correction nakey
and all of his tattoos
And tattoos
“I think I would... be murdered if I didn’t do the extra greeting”
ain’t that the truth
go sub 2 squeebie spider hes my friend and he hates sugar
grandma gammr hh hbhvhvh. h have to gyyy
h in hb un
Id like the comment but it has 666 likes
OwO UwU OwO yep i feel that
Such foreshadowing
kurtis: **literally forgets his intro**
also kurtis: oh yeah i need to go back to my roots
Yes
technically he didn’t have the extra greeting in his older videos so
Wait until you watch "the disastrous life of Saiki kusuo", he was teleporting to shop groceries when 1 year old. In fact, he started talking when he was 1 month old.
Its his parents writing these posts.
“my son started walking on the ceiling when he was a baby”
I love that show ‼
Hel yeah saiki kusuo
yare yare.
no cap my mom was yelling at the delivery man and my dog physically said, "only I can yell at them!" and proceeded to transform into cinderella. All the dogs in the neighborhood escaped and barked in approval.
Damn. Really makes you think 🤔
I indeed was the neighborhood
It's true, I was the dog
@@jessicagutierrez6401 what the dog doin
its true, i was the mom
Haha my cat's first words were "Sister, i require §ū§țāňåñčə," so cute!
@@iogdavhd4icafhvnonsense540 Dude it's a joke.
@@iogdavhd4icafhvnonsense540 😑
Dam my cats first word was woof, you have a way cooler cat
Have you tried putting your cat in rice
The first words of my cat were “FOOD CONSUMPTION T I M E”, I’m so happy for you 🥰😄
5:46 whenever Kurtis says "fishy" all I hear in my head is "fishy fishy fishy makin' it stinkeyy"
I was looking for a comment about this 😂😂😂
You're my hero
god i can hear him pressing the button for this on the soundboard now haha
Oop fish in the mouth
@@frogreadingabook I love your name
15:15 The first story (the yes I can one) honestly could be true. There are stories of kids who don’t talk until they’re older. Sometimes it’s because their parents fight a lot or sometimes because they just aren’t ready to talk. But they can talk in full sentences because they listen to others talking
but talking is more than listening and understand words. you still have to practice moving your mouth, tongue, throat, vocal chords, etc. like it's still a thing you have to practice. so sure they might say mutilple words in one "sentence" but it will be incoherent and rather garbled because they don't have the skills yet to properly control the sounds.
"Pull the plug!" "Shes not even on life support. There is no plug to pull." "Then put her on life support and pull the plug."
One of my favorite lines, probably ever
Ikr
I’m 200% stealing that joke tho 😂
LOL
One of my favorite insults I've ever heard was "you look like if you took ugly Betty and multiplied her by holy shit"
My brothers first words were: *"Mother I would greatly appreciate if you would buy a baked good with lots of carbohydrates shaped as a circle please."*
Is that an Odd1sOut reference
James ✋😌
Yes to both.
Dango G yes
Cuuki
I just picked up my dog from the shelter and I tried to take a picture of him with my phone and he said “mother, we don’t need smart phones. Just be in the moment
Ugh, your dog is so polite and understanding. The first time I met my cat, he only said: " get me out of here, dumbass, I want chicken nuggies "
Its true, i was the clapped
@@BoggDog sus
It’s true, I was the phone.
It’s true, I was the dog
Today my paralysed deaf blind mute autistic premature 2 day old niece said her first word today (a miracle blessing from God). She said “phone bad book good” and started handing pancakes to homeless people on the floor after a hurricane while telling them to get jobs like the legless man who was using a book as an umbrella. Such an inspiring story ❤️ ❤️
I was the book and I can confirm the generosity your son showed, She was so kind. Truly a good man.
I was the autism. I can confirm
I was the deafness. I can confirm.
I can confirm about the inspiration that this story gives; I was the pancakes.
“Put her on life support and pull the plug”
I’m using this as a threat
Samesies
😂😂😂
i will actually start saying this
when my kid was a month old she recited the entire Bill Of Rights and the Constitution, and then obama showed up and awarded her the noble peace prize. kids are the greatest haha.
My kid IS obama
bobebo no way! My dog is also Obama!
Aww
Im obama's great great great great great great grandmother
Nobel* 🙃
My childs first words were actually: "Father, I find it saddening that our fellow human beeings feel so inadequate about themselves that they wouldn`t even lie about something they themselves accomplished but that they have to live out success through obvious make belief about their offspring."
So yeah. Looking for an exorcist.
Yesterday, my 64 year old said his first words in Latin. Yay
hows it going?
Omg this is so true, i was the baby
@@RG-rm6ih how did the exorcism go?
@@carmenmercedes9903 I heard it went good
When my brother was -4 he came up to me crying, and when I asked him what was wrong he said that I'm on my phone too much. And then he turned into a whale and my dog ate him. I fed my phone to the dog and then he came back alive and everyone clapped. So the lesson is don't be on your phone too much also feed it to your dog.
Mom:he’s saying his first word
Baby:m-m-mitochondria is the power house of the cell
This made my morning. Thank you.
Gosh dang it
And everybody clapped
The mighty nugget Never lies but you never lie!
do people actually find this funny
My baby’s first words were:
The fitness gram pacer test is a multi stage aerobic capacity test...
Jackspedicey????
@@louise4815 lmao
I actually liked PE, but even I agree the pacer test SUCKS BALLS
Emily Jeska I still have to take the pacer test.
One of my friends got the record, but she CHEATED! We all saw it.
throw the whole baby away
“Pull the plug!”
“She’s not on life support”
“Then put her on life support and pull the plug!” 😂 😂 😂
That one made me laugh real hard.. 😂😂😂
Woah, too bad this wasn't in the video and that we didn't hear this joke sooner!
This still slaps 4 years later. Thank you Kurt 🙏
This morning, my 2 year old son saw a woman refusing to wear a mask in Del Taco, so he stood up and said 'Do not call me handsome, if you ain't gonna hand me some of that badonkydonk!' Everyone clapped and the barista gave us free cappuccinos for life! #proudmom
LMAOO
Omg so brave
@@rqyzilla1534 i see you in most of these comments this is amazing
It's true I'm the cashier
@@Vexlith I was the badonkydonk
Im 12 and my 14 year old son said his first words. They were "the cure for cancer is..." He didn't get to finish bc he died. He turns 15 this month. Ima get him a motorcycle.
It’s true, I was the motorcycle.
its true i am the son
It's true I was the cure for cancer
Did he die in a motorcycle accident
It's true, I am cancer
(I just realized this was a pun because my sign is cancer)
That pen pal one is so funny because he could've said, "oh, it was a pen pal service you sent the letters to, to protect everyone's privacy." But instead my guy just goes with amnesia.
My Man forgot he uses a pen pal service, he has amnesia
Tbh atleast here were I am peps call ''penpals'' even through mail penpal-friends. So he could have easly ''corrected'' himself by saying ''oh there was no adress bc....''
Ore heck just ''well I am pretty stupid, somehow didn't noticed.'' Would have 100% worked for me tbh...
But you shouldn't really be able to pull the dumb card. They claim they were penpals for 30 YEARS. You mean you ain't moved, they ain't moved, or you havnt talked to your neighbor in all that time when both y'all have been living there. You don't realize your atleast 35 year old ass is writing almost the same address on an envelope twice?? Playing the dumb car would just straight up not work, maybe if you only think about it for like 5 seconds at the most, but any more than that and it's busted
@@maxbracegirdle9990Still would be a better option
Even the truth would have worked:
“I’m a fawkin’ idiot”
kurtis missing the satire on the second one and doing a play by play rant was the funniest thing ever 😭🫶🏽
My son was only a week old when he said "never gonna give you up,never gonna let you down,never gonna run around and desert you,never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye,never gonna tell a lie and hurt you" everyone in the neighborhood clapped.
wow 😍
I did not just get rickrolled by a fucking comment i-
Pfp checks out
And Rick Astley came and clapped
Yes
My baby said his first words at the young age of 2 months! The first thing he EVER said was “e=mc^2”! He grew up to be Leonardo Da Vinci. I’m so proud of him!!! 😊😊😊
Nolan Dailey My child’s first words were mooooooo he grew up to be a cow, last month we gave him to a farm and everybody clapped
@@gingerbread9691 must've been delicious to eat your own kid and drink his nice nice milk
It was Einstein's formula...
@@mynameisnotlisa r/woooosh
@@mynameisnotlisa r/woooooooooosh
My baby's first word was:
"I'm proud to be born in Kurtistown"
My baby's first word was nothing cause he died in the womb
TKN_ASTRO is that a paw patrol pfp
TKN_ASTRO it is. that makes this 10x better
Chenle .mp4 HAHAHA you’re right
My baby's first word was "What's up Greg?"
One day I when I went to the swimming pool with my unborn child I asked her why she didn't speak yet. Then she turned and said "Ive been speaking for years. I am that pen pal you have been talking to ever since you were a child. You just had amnesia and couldn't remember." Then she did a fortnight dance and the pool manager exploded
Combustion at the pool? Smh my head that is so unprofessional #CancelHimOrHerOrThey(ILoveAllGenders)
"I need to go back to my roots" he says whilst forgetting to do his introduction 😂
Graci
I want to like but you’re at 420 so I can’t
Whilst😂
Omg my 2 month old actually started babbling so i took out my camera and recorded her and she said "A 3.5-ounce (100-gram) serving of chicken breast provides 165 calories, 31 grams of protein and 3.6 grams of fat (1). That means that approximately 80% of the calories in chicken breast come from protein, and 20% come from fat." im such a proud mama!! unfortunately i tripped over frozen gluten free pancake mix and my phone flew out my hands and all the way to ibiza so its a shame i lost the video but im still a proud mama!
Omg rlly?! My son said the whole bee movie script, but when he was done my camera flew out of mii hands and down the stairs it deletep it self... 😟😞😖🙁😭😢😩😧😦😨😵😬😰😨😱😦🙁😔😒😕😲😳😨😖😟😖😖😨😤😢😭😬😠😡😞😧😧🤯
What a blessing 👍😊
what a gift from our lord and savior, god straight from heven 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🥰🥰🥰 i give my blessings to you and your child 👼👼👼👼👼👼👼👼👼👼👼👼👼
so blessed 🤩
omg my SON INVENTED RUNNING ACTUALLY
“I’m as nakey as the day I was born!”
Kurtis was born with a necklace and a nose ring
And you weren't? Damn, that must suck
@@red_dickfigures Wait, everyone isn't born with a necklace and a nose ring?
@@nini-qu5hi yeah, that's what I was thinking
And inked
@@nini-qu5hi I wasn't, I was born with a mouth piercing and a choker, guess everyone is different
I would have believed the "I'll go to work for you" one if it was said by a 5 year old but a 1 year old?
“Put her on life support and pull the plug!”
- kurtis conner 2019
yeah
I still can't believe how hilarious this dude is "Pull the plug" "She isn't on life support, there's no plug to pull" "Well put her on life support and then pull the plug"
I saw the joke coming but the delivery was fucking amazing 🤣
So my son woke me up one night, in tears. I asked him why and he said, "why do people lie on the internet for clout instead of finding a hobby that could benefit mankind?" And then everyone in the starbucks clapped and the manager got arrested.
I assume the son was 1 month old.
Nah my one day year old child woke me up in tears when I fell asleep at the cafe and umm.. and um said that and everyone clapped and congrated me..
Bruh I said my first word at 2
That final sentence got me so good lol.
So moving 🙏🏼
When I was -1 I told my mom “mother, Speech is a human vocal communication using language. Each language uses phonetic combinations of vowel and consonant sounds that form the sound of its words (that is, all English words sound different from all French words, even if they are the same word, e.g., "role" or "hotel"), and using those words in their semantic character as words in the lexicon of a language according to the syntactic constraints that govern lexical words' function in a sentence. In speaking, speakers perform many different intentional speech acts, e.g., informing, declaring, asking, persuading, directing, and can use enunciation, intonation, degrees of loudness, tempo, and other non-representational or paralinguistic aspects of vocalization to convey meaning. In their speech, speakers also unintentionally communicate many aspects of their social position such as sex, age, place of origin (through accent), physical states (alertness and sleepiness, vigor or weakness, health or illness), psychological states (emotions or moods), physico-psychological states (sobriety or drunkenness, normal consciousness and trance states), education or experience, and the like.“
Then the people on the plane flying towards our building started clapping
when your baby's first sentence is the declaration of independence
Lmao
I do declare -Michael Scott -baby
Hate when that happens
What a weird sentence to read while high
The Declaration of Independence is not a sentence
"oh my God, pull the plug"
"Wh... She's not even on life support, she-"
"WELL THEN PUT HER ON LIFE SUPPORT AND PULL THE PLUG"
I lost it at this point 😂😂😂
Whaaattt, we watched the same video, no way
@@delraveravioli5264 I'm just saying that this part was funny.. lol
kurtis turning his jokes into long-extended skits for EACH JOKE is what makes him the best channel on this app
well yeah, cause if he didn't have them this would just be the subreddit
r/thathappened, lol.
JustTheWarning he could still tell his jokes w/o including the skits....
i agree ☝🏻
Oop
exactly
hey kurtis, i know this video is old and i know you won't see this but i'm a little too drunk to care about that right now
but i just wanted to tell you that i am grateful that you make content because it's genuinely so comforting and it helps me so much through tough times
i'm struggling with a lot personally and watching your videos makes my days just so much more brighter
thank you so much for making all this content!!
My babies first word was actually “The Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell”
Beast Burchett lol this is unrelated but once at the end of my school year we had to do a reflection of what we learned. i just answered “the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell” no cap
Isn’t that everyone’s
I said every word in the dictionary when I was 4
this was by far the best comment i’ve ever seen
I-
As someone who would definitely say “phones don’t belong at school” when they were a kid I can confirm that that lady’s son is a loser.
mood
Same lmao
Same
@@1sor1b her son is a lobster
@@1sor1b me too and i didn't question it
When Kurtis is so disoriented after tour that he almost forgets the extra greeting
yeah
So true, poor Kurt =(
Kurtis seems like the type of person to wash his hair with a bar of soap and have it still look awesome
Me first words were "
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. "
Gravity: *Why do I hear boss music*
Ya like jazz
*a t s u m u t h e b e e*
And makes a little honey too...
love that profile pic ✌️😭💕✨
“There are no security cameras in schools”
*Cries in American*
STARKID
Chandler Animated YES
I got confused for a sec cuz I was like ...uh yeah there are
@@ef4253 Not in the actual classroom. Just the halls. They can't put any in the classrooms.
Atomic Duck556 they put them in classrooms in my school
Yesterday I heard my grandma say:
“yo shawty wanna hit a lick?”
And I was like “yo hell ya”
Then we both snorted a massive amount of cocaine and my step grandpas ashes!
Let me tell you...that lady knows how to yodel!
LMAOOOO
Fluid went out of my nose laughing to this so thank you
KrunchyKat Anytime lmaoooo
This my friend, is a vibe
LITERALLY WHAT
I love how some people think nobody will suspect a thing
Oh my god👏My 1 day old child just sang Rap God by Eminem and everybody in the hospital clapped😜👏👏👏👏👏👏
It's true, I was the hospital
It's true, I was the hands of the people clapping
Edit: I clicked on this comment and forgot I made this reply. Hello people.
It's true, I'm Eminem
It’s true, I was the rapping baby.
It's true, I was the hospital bed
I like how he glossed over the fact that one-year-olds can’t really talk
I was talking MUCH before one
Keira. ok well good for u lol
Keira. Right out of the womb definitely
@@keira.1377 I talked before one too, but I think they meant majority don't speak full sentences.
one year olds speak but not really in any coherent way yet
I was playing with my 1 year old (F), and she said "this is your heart." So I said "what are you made of?"and she replied with " Water (35L), Carbon (20Kg), Ammonia (4L), Lime (1.5Kg), Phosphorus (800g), Salt (250g), Saltpeter (100g), Sulfer (80g), Flourine (7.5g), Iron (5g), Silicone (8g), and 15 traces of other elements!" Wow. Sometimes they teach you a thing or two!
LMAO
at least now you know that if you ever die she will probably be able to bring you back with alchemy 😌😌
so smart 🤩
Why'd I say Fahrenheit for f next to 1yo. I don’t even use Fahrenheit I’m Canadian
@@maya-bx3vq it means female. Fahrenheit is F°
My 4 month old baby look at me, and then re-acted the entirety of Mischa Bachinski’s lines and his songs!!! I started crying and stuff!!!
Whenever Kurtis says “yeah dude?”, an angel gets its wings
I read that as soon as he said it😂
HOLY CAP!
“Never heard of cameras in classrooms “
Cries In public school
gaby s my school only have them in hallways
Only classes with special needs kids are supposed to have cameras
Cries in American
I'm around the same age as Kurtis and my public school's classrooms never had security cameras in them. *cries bc I'm getting old asf*
gaby s WE HAVE CAMERA IN THE BATHROOM
My first words as a baby were "comrade, let's abolish the government."
:O mine too
my first words were:
Союз нерушимый республик свободных
Сплотила навеки Великая Русь.
Да здравствует созданный волей народов
Единый, могучий Советский Союз!
Славься, Отечество наше свободное,
Дружбы, народов надежный оплот!
Знамя советское, знамя народное
Пусть от победы, к победе ведет!
Сквозь грозы сияло нам солнце свободы,
И Ленин великий нам путь озарил.
Нас вырастил Сталин - на верность народу
На труд и на подвиги нас вдохновил.
Славься, Отечество чаше свободное,
Счастья народов надежный оплот!
Знамя советское, знамя народное
Пусть от победы к победе ведет!
Skvoz grozy siialo nam solntse svobody,
I Lenin velikij nam put ozaril.
Nas vyrastil Stalin - na vernost narodu
Na trud i na podvigi nas vdokhnovil.
Slavsia, Otechestvo chashe svobodnoe,
Schastia narodov nadezhnyj oplot!
Znamia sovetskoe, znamia narodnoe
Pust ot pobedy k pobede vedet!
Мы армию нашу растили в сраженьях,
Захватчиков подлых с дороги сметем!
Мы в битвах решаем судьбу поколений,
Мы к славе Отчизну свою поведем!
Славься, Отечество наше свободное,
Славы народов надежный оплот!
Знамя советское, знамя народное
Пусть от победы к победе ведет
My first words were: "hey man I'm gunna tear your eyes out!"
Mine were : "I'm WAY too sleep deprived to deal with your negativity right now." And then everyone in Singapore came to my house and screamed as 456 Alexas played Africa by Toto.
Mine was, "Assemble dear comrades, we have to take over." Yeah, I am reborn as Karl Marx.
that kid praying at the pibb cross really took "and i pray to my fountain of slush" to a whole new level
“I like trilogies that are just three of things”-Kurtis Conner, 2k19
I kept reading these as -"kurt Cobain"
Damn, he really did Douglas Adams like that...
Myday♡♡ stan day6 y'all
ow wonpil
stream day6 for good skin
"I'm as nakey as I was the day I was born" - Kurtis Conner, with a chain around his neck.
he was born sick
And a nose ring
kateelizza that’s cause he was born a fucking g
He was born drippin’
Kurtis’ skits are the funniest thing ever:
“To baby or not to baby” 😂😂
"PuT HeR On LiFe SUpPOrt AnD PUlL ThE PlUg"
@@Rose-y1g3e this was the best. Ever. 😂
That wasn’t a skit he was actually telling a story about his babies first words
Not talking can be a sign of autism. My sister is an autistic perfectionist and she did this with her first words (I don’t remember what they were). She also wouldn’t walk until she could run. And she was much older than other kids were when they started talking, I think like 3
My baby's first words were "What's up, how's it goin?"
And his second words were "What's up, how's it goin?"
Then everyone in Kurtistown clapped
What a beautiful true story that definitely really happened 😂😂😂
I hope you subscribed to your baby for those second words.
@@megamozaik How do you think I got him to say them in the first place
That really happened, I was the baby's diaper..
All the folks* in Kurtistown clapped
"i need to go back to my roots."
*forgets the extra greeting*
*forgets the 'folks *clap*'*
hmmmm
i love when someone makes a post lying and then someone else is like “it’s true!! i knew them blah blah” and the op is like “dude i was so obviously lying tf”
Love those. I see them every time. It's true, I'm the tumblr text box, I see it all. True story
i like it when people are like "its true i was the floor"
It’s true, I was the story
3:11 I love how obvious this moment makes the fact that Kurtis just got back from a nation-wide tour with Danny and Drew, cause that aggressive pointing and baby talk is such Danny humour I love it
I died at “You’re my hero.”
Honestly I died when Kurtis entered the screen. That man has perfected the art of satire bits.
I'm yer 1k like :)
You know, Kurtis is so generous with his extra greetings. But do we, residents of Kurtistown, ever reciprocate our mayor’s kindness? No.
So, Kurtis...
What’s up? How are you? I hope you’re doing well, dude.
I was the 69th like and I'm happy
:)
@@arsonleblanc2005 wtf i liked this and it said 190 and them i opened the replies and it said 227 what
Ellie Muskens y’all my citizens woke me up out of my sleep crying and said ‘kurtis ik you tired of giving extra greetings trying to make it better for me and my fellow citizens. We will greet you today’ how are YOU doing kurtis
666, delightfully devilish Seymour.
My first words were "The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start."
Crazy right?
I would throw you away and run as fast as I could after filling the trash can you were in with holy water, cause you must’ve been the spawn of Satan. That thing gave me PTSD.
Your birth sounds like a terrifying experience
@@lune4089 same. That kills the heck out of me
"Kids who don't speak until they can recite an entire lengthy ad are the fucking best."
We called it just beep test in school. And we wanted to kill the teacher
4 years ago and still slaps
america has security cameras in schools but they’re only checked when necessary
Δ KELSEY Δ and most the time they’re only in hallways
That would make me so uncomfortable
We have security cameras in my school as well, not just in american schools. They're in every classroom, hallway, locker room (basically every building) and outside buildings. The only place we don't have them is in the bathrooms and changing rooms
Edit: Forgot to add that the cameras are only really looked at if there's a problem or if the non-teaching staff are hella bored
@@sarahfitzgerald801 yeah same here in my country
aka when there's a shooting://
Guys her eyes are obviously just from a surgery from a bad accident she had when she was 7 like it's a bit obvious y'all smh
Obviously. I got into a car accident last year and now I have anime eyes.
@I am a bot uwu thank you kind sir
@@clara-md3qp so sorry to hear. My cousin was mugged and hit in the face with a bat and now her eyes are massive anime style eyes after many surgeries
I know a kid whos first words were a sentence, but they had like serious issues and it was also at 8 years old lol
😲
😛
🧥
👀
what are these replies
they had us in the first half, not gonna lie.
Actually, most schools do have security. Although not elementary schools, some hallways/back of the school areas have cameras, there’s usually only 1 or 2 security guards however, and they aren’t always at the computer, sometimes they’ll greet students in the office, or make sure nobody skips a class, break up fights, or kind of exist for the hell of it. Have a good day y’all! 😊
No one:
Kurtis when he makes a bad joke:😎🤟🔥😏
hey man I think you spelled "great" wrong
*great joke
That’s a weird way to say “the rebirth of comedy”
Smiling Lapis no he doesnt light his house
huh thats the weirdest way ive seen someone spelt glorious
nobody:
kurtis in the hospital bed:
👁 👁
👄
Star Android funni stuf
Sad Trophy Wife thanks i just my BFA (Bachelor of Funny Arts) from clown college last year
It haunts my dreams
A mouth emoji?
Mya Gaming Kat 👁 👅 👁
"I would be murdered if I didn't do my extra greeting"
Foreshadowing
I think I should say something but I can't argue
Thank you for your use of the proper name for the stuff that kid was praying to. It’s pop. Thank you.