Dealing w/ Borderline Personality Disorder In Our Relationship | Q & A
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- Опубліковано 9 вер 2024
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I wanted to share with you all how my boyfriend Brian Turner and I deal with borderline personality disorder in our relationship...from fights, splitting, friendships, and abandonment issues we address all of it in this video!!
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I love you baby girl! Glad you’re going to make more videos now!! 😊😘
i love you bby
You’re so awesome for supporting someone w bpd we need understanding
You’re a fucking angel 😇😭🙏🏾
Abusive Wife
Lmao same!!! 😭 hope I can one day find someone as understanding as him! I’ve been single now for two years (longest I have EVER been single) because I am done making people deal with my bullshit. I’ve made a pact with myself to understand myself more before I can expect somebody else to!
I hope one day I'll have a supportive boyfriend like you 😊😂
This taught me that my boyfriend and I aren’t in a healthy relationship at all :/ showed him this because it’s so important to me and he fell asleep
😂
Dump him!!
@@KissingMedusa find me
I want to show this to my bf too, but i don't think he would even attempt to. At least yours tried...
A little reply as things could have changed. But I'm a partner of some with BPD who is just watching this on my own - that was unacceptable behaviour from him! I hope things improved or you found someone who is truly deserving of you ☺
Ugh I love this discussion and I love you two as a couple! It is definitely not easy to date someone with mental illness (I have always felt so so bad for putting my partners through my depressive episodes, my social anxiety, and my BPD outbursts back in college). It really takes a special sort of human to approach it with tolerance. But I think once you find that person, you can really challenge each other and bring out the best in one another! In many ways I am grateful for my mental illness because it has compelled me to learn SO much about myself, emotions, trauma, etc., and to express that effectively to a partner requires a tremendous amount of honesty and communication -- which I think has really strengthened my current relationship. You are awesome Sammy -- keep spreading awareness about this stuff!
UM FANGIRLING RN
thanks so much girl first of all for watching and supporting :)
thats so awesome that you have found someone as well who has supported you! it really can be difficult navigating this stuff on your own but i agree with you on being grateful for your mental illness because of being able to grow through it! also, its given me a larger perspective on how to be more gentle and understanding with people!
thanks again for your support sarah! love you girl!
Sarah's Vegan Kitchen me too!
Sarah's Vegan Kitchen I love how you mentioned that having your mental illnesses have caused you to dive deeper into understanding who you are and appreciating your emotions and psyche 😊🙏🏼 we love you too! Sammy was freakin out that you commented haha! Hope we can all meet up soon!
im soo scary about the thoughts of losing my husband.. i always think he will run away because im not okay. Plus im so jealous,he sometimes hide things he doesnt talk while i always say every fucking little things about my life or about my day .. and im getting worse because of this ;c he doesnt understand maybe my feelings.. im italian and he is japanese so we even talk different language and culture is really different. what i should do..?
Oh totally. Having such a super partner has really made me push hard to get better. To be my healthy and best self and be what she really deserves.
I think BPD teaches others around the person with BPD how to love someone unconditionally.
So true. Or they were already capable of unconditional lobe but they are forced to be more of that type of person
Or the borderline is a dick. (I AM a diagnosed BP)
Maybe so - holy shit it’s hard :(
exactly, BPD isnt all negative, your comment is beautiful example of the positives
What about He cheats ok you? Then you say okay i love unconditionally
This gives me hope. I feel like I’ve ruined so many good relationships with my BPD that I’ve just lost hope. Since my last relationship, I’ve done a ton of soul-searching and reflection. I’m so much more familiar with myself and my triggers. I do think that I am more prepared for a relationship now than ever before, but it’s always going to be a struggle. Seeing you two and his empathy gives me so much hope. Thank you for putting yourself out there so people like me have something to hold onto.
I have always felt as though I have ruined relationships..two months ago my boyfriend broke up with me because he couldn't deal with my outbursts anymore. He said he didn't want to worry anymore. I will never take it away from him that it was hard at times. I asked him to let me go away and get myself emotionally regulated but he said it was too late. I know it is awful..but if I didn't lose him, I don't know when I truly would of seen what I was doing to my own happiness..I could not be happier in myself now. I'm so glad you feel the same :-)
These stories sounds so familiar. My relationship ended just yesterday. I am heart broken. But still cannot do anything because I am too much for him.
Another BPD in agreement here. I can relate to this post so well, and I have a word of caution. Even if you feel ready to become involved again with someone in a committed relationship - it will have it's own, new, problems that could trigger you in an unexpected way. Go for it cautiously. Don't fear a relapse, but be ready.
Love how he is so supportive of you.
me tooooo :) thanks tweety!!
You two are such a strong couple.💚 I have bpd, anxiety, and depression, and I'm doing really well right now. But you guys are right, most people don't understand mental illness. It seems like 90% of people I try to talk to about my mental illnesses, they always say I'll get over it... or its in my head... It feels like no one except people who suffer from the same conditions really understand.
BreeSinksToSwim stay strong, it’s hard for people who don’t suffer to really get the struggle that comes with mental heath problems. They think you’re just sad or having a bad day. Don’t fret, keep trying, keep talking and one day hopefully people will understand. I was the same before a close family member told us he was suffering and it hit me that this shit is real. Then after an illness I became depressed, I’m 18months in a good place, but still get anxiety, but it took hitting a real low to finally appreciate the severity of mental health. Sorry if I droned on, lol.
yes its so hard sometimes when ppl dont understand! but as long as you do and you try your best to make your life as solid as possible there is nothing to worry about!
we love you! and stay strong girl you got this!
Thanks for all the love and support!💕
I just got diagnosed and they relate it perfectly. Amazing history and how they help each other.
I struggle with splitting and just rewatched this video since it first came out. I need reminders because i start losing touch with things over time
.I love how you guys support each other .❤
YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST. I LEARNED SO MUCH. LOVE YOU. SEE YOU SOON.
I FREAKING LOVE U SO DAMN MUCH
THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING US
❤️❤️❤️
The way Brian looks at you at 7:05 is so sweet it almost brought me to tears. Y'all are such lovely people and your love for each other warms my heart ❤️
This is a question for Brian. And this is NOT meant to throw shade at anyone. Just genuinely curious. I have been in relationships with multiple emotionally unstable people, and I've always had to make the decision to leave because their habits affect me negatively to the point where I also become mentally and physically unstable. How do YOU personally deal with the ups and downs of being emotionally and physically attached to someone that can not provide a steady environment for your own emotions and well being?
It appears it’s because she is getting treatment and actually getting better. Most don’t get diagnosed or get better. As a general rule of thumb, most won’t get better so you did the right thing in leaving. I too had to leave someone I love because they had mental health issues that really affected my own well being. I’d rather be single than with someone who has a serious mental health issue like BPD, PPD, etc. Life is too short to be with someone who makes your life and well being harder.
i really respect how open you are about BPD, its fantastic and beautiful and we need more people like you!!! The more we talk, the better we feel and the less stigma there is about mental health, loving the message of your channel, please keep uploading i love your content :) :)
thank you so much charlotte! i def want to be as transparent as possible!
Open, and the insights are quite amazing. They have to feel like the luckiest couple in the world.
Never had anything relate so much.. I get the worst feelings of regret and extreme embarrassment after "splitting" on my bf and family.... You are right, in the moment it seems like such an overwhelming sense of loss of control and anger that just hijacks your brain... Whoooosahh.. Thank you again
of course im so happy you were able to relate!!
is that 2014 julien solomita
DJPara get legs
Yeah but way cuter
I am freshly in a new relationship with a woman I have crushed on and wanted for the past 3+ years. Our chemistry and communication online always blossomed respectfully! Timing just was never on our side due to our respectable relationships and other factors but these experiences we endured before officially getting together is what I feel prepared our hearts for this new journey we are on. I’ve never in my life wanted to be with someone as bad as I did her. Never! She revealed to me on our second date that she has a mental illness (BPD). I’ve witnessed emotion from her so far that has been tough in some ways but nothing I’m willing to pull the plug on. We are 4 months in now and I’m witnessing an episode from her that has to be the absolute toughest so far 😔. She’s isolated herself abruptly out of nowhere and has totally transformed into a very emotionless secluded person. She’s short with her text with me and it’s gotten so far to the point I asked her (our of frustration) if she’s seeing someone else (which I’ve apologized for). This being entirely new for me I’m just torn between whether I should be giving her the time she needs to go through this storm in her lonesome or overwhelm her with the love (like I sooo desire to), attention, and my presence so she can feel better. I don’t know what to do! But I’m not giving up at all!! No way. I really love her! Any suggestions?
“You have to find a passion for yourself.” Damn. Speaks volumes to me.
This is so insanely helpful. My girlfriend struggles with BPD and she had one of her worst breakdowns tonight which inspired me to watch videos like this. I knew that in many situations, things were her fault because of how she perceives my actions and behaviors (even though they were normal and not intended to be hurtful) and when she would react furiously and over exaggerate, I would react furiously too and yell, etc. I treated her how I would treat anyone else in an argument. I didn't hold back and I returned the energy she was giving me. She isn't actually diagnosed with BPD but she meets every single requirement/symptom of it. She acts like every other BPD person I've seen in these videos so far so it's very clear she has it. Unfortunately her mom is very ignorant about mental illness and how to help my girlfriend cope with it, which is why she hasn't gone to get her diagnosis. Anyway, tonight made me realize that I really need to be more calm and helpful towards her. Even though I've felt like I've been doing my best, I know that I can do better for her sake. I'm taking mental notes on how to deal with her outbreaks and meltdowns and I'm going to continue to try and use the methods in reality. Even though I'm a spiritualist and a lot more happier/positive than she is, we both are stubborn hotheads who deal with mental illness so I can't always control my anger and actions either. However, I love her unconditionally and no matter how rough things get I could never leave her side nor love anyone else they way I lover her
I've just sent this to me boyfriend, we are going to watch it together later 😊
yay nikita i cant wait to hear what yall think!
what i love--your veganism, your commitment to heal, your empathy with your boyfriend and yourself, and your videos. you don't make the condition all catastrophe (even though it IS a very serious condition) which provides a very hopeful lens through which to view this highly treatable condition. with intensive, committed therapy, the *proper* therapy, DBT, mentalization, etc., most people with BPD are free from diagnostic criteria within a few years.
I got diagnosed with BPD 2 days ago and to be completely honest and scared me. I knew something was different about me but I wasn’t 100% and never got it looked at until now. I have been watching your videos all night and I’m so glad I found you! Your so inspiring and have the best mindset on it and I hope I can have that same mindset soon. Thankyou so much for posting these videos because it has made me feel so much more at ease about the whole situation 💕
You two made me cry...it's so beautiful to hear about your relationship! It warms my heart. I often think, that I would just be a burden to my partner, if I had one. It's really amazing how you two are working everything out. Much love!
What a sweetheart you bf is! Girl you give so many people hope for a regular love life and just life in general
John Feenstra people with borderline can have successful relationships with therapy so get lost
You guys literally give us this whole argument its point (you two responding).
If you want to use murder as an example.. We can say that more right handed murdered than left handed people.. Or that there are less red headed blind women murderers than brunette men. It all comes down to basic statistics...
John Feenstra she probably was co-morbid with psychopathy. Not all people with mental illness are the same or dangerous. Saying demonic makes you sound uneducated.
I really like the chemistry and camaraderie between you two. A healthy friendship, openness and vulnerability in your relationship is what makes it work, I guess.
I was wondering if you can make a video about how you were diagnosed with bipolar first and then BPD. Did the therapist share with you the reasons why, and what is it that led him or her to the new diagnosis. Were you diagnosed earlier with bipolar one or two (with or without rapid cycling).
There are so many people out there who get the very same wrong diagnosis and I am interested to understand your situation.
absolutely! we wouldnt be together if it wasnt for communication!
I’ve been feeling so ALONE lately. Thank you for your videos!!!!
Dude this video is so helpful. My boyfriend is also extremely supportive of me and my mental health( been together 3 years), don’t get me wrong it’s not all peaches and cream but it’s so helpful having someone always on your side. One thing I struggle with is spending time with my boyfriends friends because I don’t have the energy and I get social anxiety even when I know them all very well... do you ever struggle with that?
thank you so much! and sometimes i have social anxiety about youtube events and meeting new influencers..but with brians very close knit friends i dont usually struggle with anxiety just because they know me and my bpd and understand how i am...i look at them like family and they deal with me haha but i think just being honest with them and communicating that might help your relationships with them!!
marissa H I struggle with that so much! My boyfriend has new friends from university and I have extreme anxiety around them, I once broke down crying which made it 100x worse of course
The two of you are absolutely wonderful. You make a great couple; Consistently building up the other in order to live fulfilled, happy lives together. Thank you for showing that a solid relationship takes work, but that work is 100% worth it!
thank you so much!!
Yep thought same, super cool to see. Great advice.
This is so relatable (as always.)
Brian's so positive logical thinking and you think firstly with your heart and emotions, and that combo girl, is the perfect one.
You two are so good for each other and Brian's the best supporter (and so frikkin funny lmao.)
The fact that you don't split on him but your best friends and family, really shows what a solid real relationship you guys have nowadays (and it really shows.)
Do I have to mention #couplegoals tho?;)
Loved the video, you guys spirits and all the questions (and answers;)❤
thanks so much marmaduke! we freaking love you!!!!
It does really show, very solid.
You guys are a great couple I'm addicted to watching I relate to you so much woman.You guys are a great couple Brian is so supportive. Thank you for all your sharing
I've watched this a few times now and find it amazing that Brian can get you to laugh and pull you out of Eeyore mode by saying things like "you need to calm the fuck down". There isn't a guy I know that has said those words to a woman and not had his head chewed off. That is gas into the fire! In my reality, a guy that tells a woman to "calm down" of that "your being emotional" is both out of line and he just volunteered himself for an epic verbal onslaught. The fact that you found someone that can get you laughing during there intense moments is two separate awesome gifts. Journaling it instead of blasting your partner with it is great advice. You get to express yourself exactly as you want and dump all the raw feeling into it without saying or doing something that you may regret later. You two are cute together, thanks for this video.
I am diagnosed with BPD, and a few other things. I’m not medicated and don’t have a therapist (I don’t have insurance rn or an income)but THIS, you, help me more than you know. I’ve learned so much from you already thank you😭❤️
I understand completely. It's great that your boyfriend is on board with you. So lucky!
Absolutely amazing, Sammy. I identify with this so much. This seriously makes so much sense. It’s amazing how much we can relate with each other because of the trauma we’ve experienced. Loooove to watch you and Brian interact and to learn how to love each other better. It’s simply beautiful.
thank you so much nate! we love you!!
Nate you’re the man!
28 seconds in and you two are already adorable. Geez. lol. It's awesome that you have Brian and that he has you. (words aren't working for me rn.) You guys are awesome together and as individuals.
thank you so much jessi!! :)
@@SammyGrimm you're very welcome!
😭😭😭 best couple ever
we love you!!
They won the lotto!
Due to my anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder and my fear of people, in general, I stay away from relationships altogether. Almost as if it's a protection mech·an·ism for myself if that makes sense.
Could you make a video on hypersexuality? I also struggle with this as a female
yes i def will be! is there any particular questions you have on it? :)
I'd like to know how to handle it when your partner isn't as sexually active. I take it SO personal as a sign he doesn't love me and have urges of leaving/cheating in order to have my "needs" met.
also how to deal with it when you're single...without putting yourself in danger
I would love a video on this too! I get so hypersexual and often times use it to get the attention I crave so badly.
colorfulsocksrule we should meet up.
You have no idea how much this helped. Splitting is tough for me and I have a ton of guilt from a long term relationship that didn’t work out. Thank you for making these videos
Hey, my girlfriend has bpd and I'm looking for people to talk to who have a loved one suffering from bpd. Thanks. ❤️
I'm gay and BPD. It causes me and mf bf a lot of problems. I'm glad you guys can make it work it gives me hope. My bf is a recovering opiod addict so he has his own problems. He doesn't like dealing with the problems in my head, and I don't always see my problems as emotional insecurities in the moments they are affecting me. It's really hard to support someone else when you aren't getting any support.
This was very helpful.. Seeing how supportive your bf is means a lot.. Thank you
Wow!! This was so encouraging, and so refreshing! I’ve been following Brian’s journey since the beginning, and I’ve always loved his energy. I’m so proud of his growth, and I’m so happy for the two of you. To be able to OVERstand each other, and communicate on a heart and soul level is a beautiful thing. It gives me hope that someone will be able to deal with my BPD ass 🤪. Thank you.
thank you so much we really appreciate your support! :)
What an insightful Q&A! I never realized how mental illness can be so significant in a relationship. You two are truly an incredibly magnificent couple--strong, understanding, liberal, caring, and brutally fucking honest. More couples need to have those values! I notice that you and Brian really lift each other up, bringing the best out of one another. I really resonated with a lot of topics you touched upon. Definitely will be applying SO MANY of these pointers to my relationship!
aw cassie we love you! thank you for your support as usual :)
Cassie Autumn thanks Cassie 😊🙏🏼
Ahhhh god I love you too. You make me feel like there is definitely a future to fighting this and bettering myself. My boyfriend is my rock and he’s been trying to understand and research more to understand the debatable of BPD. Oh, and I’m one of the ones with a blanky, and he’s never said a word. Made me smile when you mentioned that in the end. Amazing to see how many of us still have one❤️
right?! thats so awesome you have someone to understand and appreciate you! and even blankie :)brian and i were just talking about how many of us still have memorabilia from when we were kids and its weird that "normal" people dont understand haha
that makes me so happy that you see a future because you have a bright one ahead!!
I have bpd and I'm finding it difficult dealing with my moments with my boyfriend of 2 years. I'm always expecting him to leave me for someone better... I've been seeing a therapist again and I'm soon going to try medication again. I just don't know how to cope.
youre not alone girl i hope youre able to get the help you need and remember to be patient with yourself
Hannah, would you have any advice for the bf in that situation? If you need a back story I Definitely can explain (but if not I don't want to write a book lol) thanks!
Hannah Elyce funny thing is my girl has bpd n I always feel like she’ll leave me for someone better or more attractive ect🥰I feel like I could never live without her
This really helps me with my relationship. I feel my depression and anxiety affect my relationship beyond words and even though my bf is super supportive, I'm always worried if hes gonna break up with me or if I'm a burden and it goes into a deep hole . He doesnt feel that way at all but since I'm super insecure with myself , I'm never sure if I'm good enough and I struggle with it every day.
I don't have BPD but I do struggle with pretty severe anxiety and depression. My boyfriend does the same thing like "Is my jelly bean emotional today?" And I die laughing. It's so nice to have someone snap us out of a funk or spiral.
you have no idea how much your videos have helped me. 💗
thank you so much!!
Found your channel after trying to do more research on my own BPD diagnosis, and you are amazing, I truly feel like for the first time ever I’ve seen someone else dealing with and talking about some of the darkest parts of my own self. It’s crazy. Have so much love for you girl, thank you for being a voice!
You guys give me hope for my future. ❤
dont ever think that you wont be able to find true love because ITS OUT THERE I PROMISE!!
@@SammyGrimm Thank you so much. ❤ I'm finally going to get help since my very recent diagnosis. I love your channel, it's very helpful. Keep up the good work x
I’m very likely living with borderline personality as well, going to speak to a psychologist next week. it makes me so happy that there is people like your boyfriend who is so accepting and helpful. my boyfriend recently left me for my borderline, saying I take too much time of him. I just want to show this video of you two, telling him it is possible
I hope me and my girlfriend can get to this level.. Things are so difficult right now and it's killing me
Any update?
Hope you’re ok ✅
this was so helpful! but also i think that people who deal w bpd could be more prone to abuse, because we don't know whether we should trust oursleves or if we are just making the problem appear much bigger than what it actually is. in my last relationship, i dealt with lots of trust issues, but they were justified, and i didn't realize then that she was gaslighting me and ended up cheating on me. it is so hard, and its so heartening to see how you guys have such a stable, secure relationship, it gives me hope.
I know what you mean. Sometimes you feel schizophrenic or that you are halucinating. You keep trying to figure it out. Real or fake? Real because blah blah. But what if fake for blah blah reason? But it's real because of blah blah blah. But what if? Down the rabbit hole over and over.
I love this video! UA-cam is filled with vidoes supporting the idea that dating a person with BPD is toxic and asking for pain and drama. I was diagnosed a couple of years ago and I've been in therapy working on my triggers and reactions. Now I feel in space to date however I haven't found anything supporting or showing a healthy relationship with a BPD person. Thank you for sharing this!!! I also think partner choice is really important and some of your tips can help any interpersonal relationships. ❤️❤️
I absolutely LOVE this and you two. I think Brian is a significant influence in part of your healing. It’s amazingly beautiful how he is able to show you in so many areas what true unconditional love is supposed to look and feel like. It warms my heart so much! You 2 are such beautiful souls!❤️❤️❤️
the way he keeps rubbing her arm/shoulder!!! awww! Also such a good video, i loved it. I will try to journal my thoughts more instead of raging, thank you for sharing this with us!
Lol not to be intrusive but as a female, he is so lucky 😭 you’re such a beautiful human being. Inside and out 110,000%
My fiance is very logical and I guess I'm more fantasy/realist. we both are watching this video because I struggle with BPD and he struggles with his own illness. This video is so sweet and helpful! Thank you guys 🙂
Thank you for giving a fellow BPD sufferer hope in Love!
I am currently in a DBT training certification for clinicians and I learned the people who are diagnosed with BPD also fit criteria for about 7 different diagnoses so maybe it wasn't that your were misdiagnosed but at the time those symptoms of BP were more present rather than BPD. It takes sometimes seeing a client a year for them to really rule out one diagnosis over another the first one during assessment can be provisional. However, glad you got to root cause for you.
This was awesome! I live with my boyfriend and just found out I have this and can sooooo relate to you guys and it feels so nice to be able to do that. Best of luck to both of you! I think yall are great together and one thing I have realized is how important a patient and kind guy is because we both have been with ones that werent. we have ourselves keepers
You two are adorable. I LOVE how you both are uplifted and understanding. Logical is what we need sometimes! ♥️♥️♥️
absolutely!!
thank you so much!!
wow, respect to you guys! respect for making it work. I struggle with myself my trauma, ptsd, bpd, depression, anger, fear... people struggle with me. i hate myself for not being able to communicate correctly with my boyfriend. i just dont know how. I hope I will someday get that far as you guys have. all the best!
Only two fights!!? Wow it must be the fact that you were aware of your problems before the relationship and actively working on it. My life was neverending fights.
He is so good to stick with you even in your difficult moments. He wont let you push him away ❤
I love the way u talk about that, so honest. My family don’t understand as well, and aren’t interested in learning how my thoughts works, what would helps a lot, have peace. I prefer leave my city, even country to looking for understanding. But I not that sure I cannot keep this way much longer. I am on process to give my last shot.
Your channel is my favorite. It is like a form of therapy for me. Sometimes I feel so psychotic and you bring some normalcy to what I deal with. ❤
I just found your videos after recently being diagnosed with BPD, and breaking up with my boyfriend because I felt like I was too much of a burden. I've been feeling so alone, since I have no friends, I think because of BPD. Watching your videos though, makes me feel not so alone since you're going through the same things and you seem like you're doing great now. You're where I want to be, and I don't feel like my life is just going to suck because I have issues anymore. Thank you for making these videos and sharing deep details about your life. I appreciate it so much
I keep wondering how Pete Davidson is doing with the Ariana breakup as he has BPD
* R he cheated on her multiple times?
Kelsey Marie thats a common thing with bpd, hypersexuality and sometimes loving the attention that comes with being involved with multiple people (so more attention and validation you know), that does not mean he does not love ariana, his partner, you know. i feel like cheating with mental illness does not always mean you don‘t love your s/o... just my opinion though:)
I really like Brian, just the way he talks is so calming! You two are lucky to have each other, you seem like a great couple :)
I'm 66 and have destroyed any love relationship I attempted. I didn't know why. I get triggered and stuck in false beliefs. I split. I am just now learning about BPD and how to live with it. I appreciate your sharing and I have subscribed to hear/see more from you both. You're both precious!
Thank you for this. thank you for your channel. You are one of the first people I watched that has BPD that I resonate with. Thank you for being you. Every single part.
You popped up on my recommenced videos. Subscribed and now I’m literally binging all your videos lol. Such great content and you have a great presence on camera😊
Mad respect to you for speaking your truth and educating people. 🙏🏼
Also the way your man looks at you is so fucking cute 😭
Thank you for making this video!!!!!! I was diagnosed with BPD a year ago, and I’ve always thought BPD people have trouble having a relationship.
But looking at you guys, the way you interact and the love you have between the two of you gives me INSANE amount of confidence that I too, can have a loving relationship despite having BPD.
Thank you thank you thank you!!!!! 😘
Heyyy that’s the guy that got rid of his acne woah.
Sorry, I’m editing this because I wanted to say thank you for being open about bpd. This helped me a lot. I started doing the whole journaling thing and it has helped so so much.. this has given me hope and encouragement in knowing that if I can control my emotions, my relationship will be able to work.
I have bpd and (please I beg you do not take this down the dark path) watching this made me cry. My mask started falling because I got angery that more people like your man are not more abundant. That made me sad. I am so happy for you both but I'm just sad over that fact.
There's more shitty ppl than not, but even those ppl have someone out there for them. Just means ppl are on different wavelengths than others. Your person is out there. And they just haven't found you yet just as much as you haven't found them. It will happen. While it seems like there just are not enough "good" ones to go around, think of the billions of ppl on earth. In that case, there's too many good ones to count. They're all around you. Don't look for it. But ensure you're allowing yourself to be receptive and available. The ONE will be even that much greater in comparison to those bad ones you HAD to go through the ringer with. Trial and error. But it will happen. When you least expect it.
The right one is waiting when you learn to love yourself
I honestly love these videos with you both! I've just educated my best friend of nine years who I've fallen in love with and vice versa what really happens with me in relationships. I've never been so vulnerable with anybody else in my entire life, and so watching these videos with him is something that tells him more than just the words 'i love you.' it's telling him, "I trust you." I think once you realize you can trust somebody with your entire heart and soul, and you realize they're going to love you no matter what you've got going on if you just let them in, everything's going to be okay. I never thought that I'd find that; I was in London, drowning in grief tied to shitty relationships, death and guilt, and addiction followed. I started Suboxone (just sharing my story as I just watched your addiction story ❤) and so giving up everything, I remember looking at my happy positive bf after my first dose of subs giving up everything else just glaring at him like how the f are you so happy?! LMAO. I laughed when I watched the part where you're like "where'd you come from?"😂 Cause I just laughed so hard and had to tell him.
Watching these videos helps him be informed in a way that I just can't explain on my own and no other UA-camr kinda scratches the surface, maybe because he and I are very much the same as you two are, and it's honestly refreshing! I do agree that a pessimist needs an optimist; we reach the optimist every angle to look at everything and the glass half full optimist teaches us that actual happiness is possible. So yeah my point is I love these videos and please keep making them! I know I/we aren't the only people these videos deeply benefit. From the bottom of my borderline heart, thank you for doing this ❤ you guys have such a beautiful relationship, and I'm always rooting for you two :) ❤️
I also love the part where you told him up front about what you thought was bipolar so .. cause like he's right, it's better to be rejected early on than to have to deal with it a year later when you think you're going to have a future with that person. I've been there before and it's so brutal. I'm happy he stuck around, and I mean that in both our circumstances. Who knows? Maybe this'll inspire me to finally upload some content about my journey with BPD and upload my own couple videos :) but yeah keep totally rocking this shit! I'm eternally grateful for your videos!
Aww. Ive been watching Brian for awhile and then saw you had a UA-cam channel just last week. You are very stellar.
I was diagnosed with ASD and my partner has been beyond supportive through the process.
I am so happy you both found a healthy relationship flow. Communication and empathy is key. ♥️🐧💙
This video was very helpful. It gave me so much perspective and showed things I didn’t think before about. Thank you Sammy and Brian. Love you both big-time 💚
we love you! thank you for the support!
I just wanted to say how relieved and grateful I am to see this video. It’s cool to see someone talking about it so openly. I recently got diagnosed with BPD and also am huge into fitness! It’s amazing to hear your tips on how to create a successful relationship as I have been really struggling in mine recently because of the BPD. So glad to have come across your videos! ❤️
This changed my life. I was diagnosed with bipolar also. Found out it was BPD. My relationship was full of me silently splitting. I wanted to know why that was. Why I loved someone so much yet also thought about if he would ever leave me. The thought of “is he really the one,” “is this it.” Then i’d end up splitting. The journal has really helped.
Ugh, I love you two. I wish I had someone who looks at me like Brian looks at you. ❤️
I have never had such a helpful video touching on relationships with bpd before and was so helpful for me and my best friend I live with who’s been through my entire mental illness journey. Your amazing 💗💗💗 and your both adorable
I don’t have BPD however one of my best friends does and watching your videos really helps me understand what they’re going through and how to bring things up. You hit a point on the not texting back thing. For me it’s just a text I’ll get to but for them it might mean so much more.
Everything I read says if she has BPD....run
My ex-husband and I did love and do love each other. But didn't know I was broken. I'm tired of never being enough and he's tired and tells me he just wanted and wants me to love me.... how....when everything I see says I'm a horrible mother bad friend never was a good wife and will remain along... The dark images that go through my head... it's good to see at lease a successful one. I just always thought it just was how it was not that my mirrors we're broken
I cannot emphasize how much I appreciate the both of you for this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! You two are such a great couple and individuals likewise. Amazing! Keep on shining! I know I can speak on the behalf of so many others as well
My boyfriend of two years ended it with me about 2 weeks ago. He would call me psycho and insane. Stating even that dating me was making him go mentally insane. I never understood why I acted the way I do... I thought the thoughts in my head as irrational as they were, were normal thoughts everyone had. It was brought to my attention just recently that I look into BDP because someone I know who is in the medical field stated to a friend I show a lot of symptoms of BPD. I looked into it and wow. I actually feel better knowing that I am just not plain crazy. That stuff that goes on in my head is experienced by a lot of people and it’s just a really misunderstood mental illness. I hope to one day have a successful relationship that turns into a marriage that turns into me becoming a Mother. It’s so so important to me but I know I need to get a handle on controlling my issues before bringing a child into this world. Thanks for sharing your story ❤️
Your so smart! Im 54 and learning so much from you❤
HOLY CRAP. I was not expecting to see Brian here!!? I just stumbled upon this video but I keep up with watching Brian's videos
I just discovered you and am starting to like very much! Finally someone smacked me with reality and resonated. I hope my relationship remains as strong and supportive as yours!
THANK YOU FOR THIS! Its so inspiring to see such a strong couple
yay! thanks so much girl!
im sure it can be difficult long distance but thats amazing you have such a great and strong foundation :)
thanks for the support!! we love you!
They are something else for sure! Recently diagnosed. What a great relationship. And such a balanced, even casual approach to an incredibly difficult goal.
This Video was so comforting, you two look so happy with each other
That's such crucial advice in having a successful relationship! That you honestly brought it up(even though it was wrong diagnosis) and let them understand and make a knowledgeable decision on whether they can or can not handle it. He seems like such a beautiful being... So nurturing and so understanding of what bothers you. Good for you guys-- you are so sweet together! So glad I found your channel ♥
thank you so much!! im so happy you liked the video :)
welcome to the family! :)
I really love these videos. I have never been diagnosed with anything but personally I get anxious in social situations and have been sad due to grief. Videos like this help me see both sides of “myself” and the people i love.
thank you so much kasandra! i really appreciate that!
That was a lovely way to put it!
Kasandra Perez , I used to be miss social butterfly. But since my mom passed away 2 years ago, I have severe social anxiety. It sucks! But it does help to know that you’re not alone. Good luck.
Thank you so much for posting this. I’ve been struggling with my diagnosis of BPD. I recently found your channel and dang. I’m so glad I found this channel.
omg lauren thank you so much! that makes me so happy to hear! i know at first its terrifying but at the end of the day ITS OKAY!!! welcome to the family girl
Sammy-Marie Grimm I sent you an email, that was on your Instagram.
Omg thanks so much for posting this video! It is refreshing to know that I am not the only person that struggles with it. It can be so hard to deal with sometimes and I feel bad that my friends get the brunt of it.
You are so inspiring to all of us that deal with this disease! Thank you for speaking for us!!
Absolutely love the way you guys are with each other.
It makes me really happy that you guys work together for your relationship. Its reassuring.
Very cool guys! I just got pegged for BPD in treatment for alcohol. By a therapist that randomly said DBT in a session and I asked about it. Have never had any understanding of why I was so emotionally overwhelmed. Knowing it can be addictive. I'm a super quiet borderline. You two found the formula!! Great video.
I don't know if I have this but my abandonment issues began when my mother would leave us for days to go out drunk and on pills. She would bring strange men home and I would go through hell. I started to learn to hide her purse and keys to try and stop all of this happening. Fast forward and now I control finances to stop my partner leaving me and when we have a fight I hide his keys etc I freak out and all the same shit comes out. Why is this disorder characterized by abandonment issues? I think I understand when I look back at my childhood why I feel this way but I can't and don't trust to this day... anyone! Is this part debilitating for others?
I'm no doctor and I hesitate to tell you that I actually do think you are BPD. At first i thought PTSD, but it doesn't really fit. The key insight is the way you manipulate (preemptively hiding keys, preemptively hiding money). I have BPD and often act the same - except: no matter what mental illness you have and no matter how badly you fear abandonment you cannot hold people hostage. That is not love, it is not legal, it is not moral. I would suggest trying to be alone. Then you can manipulate yourself all you want and won't have to hold your partner as hostage. You have to be able to live with yourself.
this was so lovely to watch. you both remind me of my partner and i! i have bpd and cptsd and theyre so gentle and understanding with me, like your boyfriend is with you. im glad you found each other
THANK YOU! This is really good advice and I've been through very similar things with my borderline in my relationships. You guys are beautiful together. Healthy relationships are possible with work and communication, regardless of what you struggle with.