18:03 Fun fact: quinine, a substance which makes bitter drinks like Indian tonic bitter, is a known cure for malaria (although nowadays it's replaced by its synthetic analogues) - so malaria cure smoothie that Kevin talks about is not that farfetched! Another fun fact: British soldiers in African and Indian colonies were being given quinine in the form of tonic as a preventive medicine, but its bitterness was hard to deal with, so they used to mix it with alcohol - thus creating the famous combination of gin and tonic.
>although today it's replaced by its synthetic analogues Actually, it's still used in some cases when other medication doesn't work. Also, some poorer countries still use it because they can't afford synthetic medicine. It's a very effective drug, even 150 years later.
Not sure how though, like she would not care about anyone, like what kind of saint is just neutral during any sort of massacre or seeing anyone suffer.
Gotta love Kevin's subtle jokes, like putting the first second or so of Sweet Home Alabama when he's talking about giving the ring to the mother, love that. It made it way funnier compared to if he just mentioned the song since you recognise music instantly and it can catch you off guard.
“How am I supposed to get out of my depression when an unusually heavy snowfall in Canada generates a month-long spell of avalanches killing 163 elk and 16 people?! …Why did they lead with the elk?” I keep rewinding that part over again and I can’t stop laughing.
Kevin pondering emigration to where would be the worst decision while hovering over "Poland" Me, a Pole: "Do it. He will never find happiness ever again"
I love how Asmr is slowly starting to become a bigger part of the main channel. Reading that back I realize how that sounds weird out of context, but I ain't clarifying it more!
“I graduated from high school. Oh I’m not depressed anymore” Literally same lol, turns out not spending 6 hours a day with bullies does wonders for your mental health. Also no cliques, no popularity contest, no weird ass hormones, no more acne, no useless classes that all the adults around you gaslight you into thinking “they teach you about life” and you’re just lazy, You can buy anything you want without asking, you get to decide your own schedule in college, you decide what’s good for *your own* mental health (and for some people, that *isn’t* forcefully shoving them into social situations and hoping they get used to it). So no, adulthood isn’t “so much worse than high school so quit complaining” like many people claim. Leaving that school fixed what 3 years of therapy couldn’t.
I feel like these bitlife videos have taught me more about the dangers of STD's and not treating them than my sex ed or health classes ever did in high school 😅
Hey hey! Sorry for the late reply. Some people have epilepsy, a disability that causes seizures or death when they're exposed to overstimulation (like flashing lights.) There's also peeps who just have sensitivity issues with it. :O
1:32 Massive missed opportunity to have called the stepmother “Mrs Gay” Like come on Kevin, it would’ve been hilarious! Actually, that would make picking it the right decision... so nevermind
@@Madmax45247 People in South Sudan live in actual stone age conditions. Anyone who complains about living in a first world country is too privileged to appreciate what they have imo
@@timbrown3666 tbh, compared to the rest of the developed world America is pretty terrible, on pretty much all measures, healthcare, education, employment rights ect. Saying America isn't as bad as Sudan kind of misses the point
@@CraicDealer The original comment didn't say it was the worst first world country though, it said it was the worst in the world. Which is objectively pretty false.
One of my BitLife characters died at age 49 due to being too old. AKA: being depressed because of not getting a specific job until I finally got it after years of trying to get an interview, then playing as a normal human being for the final years.
3:29 I like how he’s a complete failure but gets asked out by an S-Tier girl who’s also from Mean Girls clique and plying goddamn golf. When Kevin tries with his character he gets asked out only by trash tier.
Love your BitLife content. Something I discovered about this game is the BitLife Bitizenship is the best gift to give someone in the game. If your friends or even enemies with someone give them a Bitizenship and they will immediately want to become best friends. If you give it to a significant other they propose to you right on the spot and it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together. I know that because when I was playing through once and gave my gf a Bitizenship and she proposed to my character immediately. Tragically the wife died a few years later at the age of 28 when a tree fell on the home. Don’t remember my characters name or location all I can remember is that I was playing as a gay woman.
Hey Kevin! I just wanna say THANK YOU, man. Not wanting to be kinda "cliche", but at this moment of my life, your videos are one of the few things that make me laugh. So, really... Thanks Kevin! Wish the best for you
3:10 What did Default Default do to become a saint? Was she considered a martyr for starving herself, even though to go to the fridge would be to express an interest/emotion?
I legit love how disgusted he became when he saw that “lick groin” was an option
His inner-catholic boy came out.
@@_Kuma_ um-
@@_Kuma_ Flashbacks to catholic priests
11:16
Your welcome.
My reaction: 11:11
"Father Time: The Greatest Hitman of All" is actually quite profound
Also sounds like a movie
ikr? It's so poetic
Who's paying him tho
He feeds off our mistakes
@@flyingtoast27 mother nature probably
"Every single choice I get I'm gonna pick the worst option for me."
Loving the consistency in your videos Kevin.
Gregory
@@treblinka9530 yes
1k baBEE
frrr
“Father Time, the greatest hitman of all” was such a powerful throwaway line
"My Father is Jimmy Wrong...
My Mother is Katie Wrong..."
Huh, I guess two Wrong's didn't make a right afterall
Please get out you've been making puns for 12 hours
It's so hard being punny
😂
Take my like
But it does make a Hose A.
his neighbor: Mr Wright Mrs wright Master Wright :I Am Wrong :Can you "Wright me a book" dum dum tshhhh
“BitLife but I always pick the worst option”
...isn’t that what you normally do?
that's just the description of the video lol
Totally true! Just like last time when Kevin tried a lot to become a youtuber in Bitlife
kevin irl is the only reality in which kevin succeeds he is one in a million
Was about to comment this but I was this comment lol...
Damn, you beat me to it
“Wrong-Houle” is a very unfortunate surname combo
@Christopher Smith lol it's in the video it's his mom I think 😂
Worst Movie
Oh yeah? I had a couple named Glasscock-Fingerwell once.
@@that-possum-guy3209 In my bitlife game, I had a hookup with an IRL friend I added in the game and got an STD
I mean, it can't get worse
It's genuinely hilarious how good Kevin is at the prison escape minigame. He's gotten a lot of practice
Man knows prison like his home. Cuz its his home
It's hard to trap the prison's architect in the prison.
Lmao it’s the Emulator Version of the escape minigame. Try doing it how it’s intended to and you’ll not believe it xd
@@2juiced its either a problem with ARM emulation or thats just how the android version is
That's because of the fact that he plays something on a PC the was made for a phone with worse controls
10:28 clown littering? Then he kills you? Sounds like Kevin playing Hitman to me
"I'm going to call him Daddy Cockford-Balls" Had to check this wasn't another Super Seducer vid lol
Every video Kevin makes is a super seducer video
18:03 Fun fact: quinine, a substance which makes bitter drinks like Indian tonic bitter, is a known cure for malaria (although nowadays it's replaced by its synthetic analogues) - so malaria cure smoothie that Kevin talks about is not that farfetched!
Another fun fact: British soldiers in African and Indian colonies were being given quinine in the form of tonic as a preventive medicine, but its bitterness was hard to deal with, so they used to mix it with alcohol - thus creating the famous combination of gin and tonic.
this was cool. i love finding nuggets of info like this
i like how they decided alcohol was the best option to reduce bitterness lmao
@@cherrybeetree also sugar which of why tonic is sweet and bitter.
>although today it's replaced by its synthetic analogues
Actually, it's still used in some cases when other medication doesn't work. Also, some poorer countries still use it because they can't afford synthetic medicine. It's a very effective drug, even 150 years later.
@@gayusschwulius8490 thanks for expanding on that, what an impressive drug indeed
St Default's High School.
The education there is average.
I like how default is now a Saint. I feel like I missed something, but I really don't want to know what happened here.
As she eats a cucumber.
Doesn't that imply that he got syphilis from the principal?
St. Default’s Middle School, you mean
@@notapplicable2968 because they are defaulted to think otherwise
Imagine being rejected by the US army, they fecking take anyone
Anyone but Kevin they know what he would do with a gun
Not in bitlife
@@clickerkiller8 Then bitllife is unrealistic
@@louis8487 yeah but that's why Kevin got rejected he's playing bitlife
@JUSTIN SHARP I feel like you got recently rejected from US army.
“St. Default’s High School” nobody gonna talk about how Default is a literal saint in the CMKU
Not sure how though, like she would not care about anyone, like what kind of saint is just neutral during any sort of massacre or seeing anyone suffer.
it looked like his soul left his body when he said "Daddy Crockford-Balls"
hey
Are we not going to talk about the mother changing her last name to Wrong-Houle after remarrying?
I don't get it
@@soggymoustache8515 Wrong-Houle= similar to Wrong-Hole.
Remarry me
LMFAO
Mustve been salty
“my happiness, health, and looks are so bad!”
same
:( I'm sure you are great
@@雪女-g3r awh thank you :,)
Yeah. You're fine just the way you are. Don't worry too much about it.
Good for you
Same
Is no one going to talk about how his parents were a police officer and an army enlistee? Like I feel that's an important detail for this character.
his mom's name after remarrying was literally "Wrong-Houle"
@@windermelon9567 o-oh... oh no
OH GOD NO
As USMC vet (Marines), "I want to play with swords" definitely would've gotten you in lol
Sounds like a great job option! /j
Are you sure it's swords and not drones used on innocent civilians?
"is there any jobs in the arts" was a little too real for me
He should try an "always choosing the best option". Pretty sure he would still end up in jail for three trillion years
It’s a basic fact
Every CallMeKevin BitLife life ends up in jail and possibly in debt too
here’s a fun drinking game: take a shot every time kevin gets his poor bitlife character in jail 😳
edit: you’ll most likely get irish hammered
I would play but I don't fancy dying of alcohol poisoning
Sober, you mean?
@@robertsteele541 ur mum gay
@@eboyshrek3090 ur dad lesbian
so proud of them for coming out 🏳️🌈
In America that's called being dead
the penguin (ASMR) is such an icon
He's gonna turn into the new mascot of the chanell i bet
almost as tall, dark, handsome, and thicc as THE kevin himself
@@yourlocaljoyandhappiness8461 i hope so
@@whytho8856 heck yeah 🤟
So are you Call MeTurg
Gotta love Kevin's subtle jokes, like putting the first second or so of Sweet Home Alabama when he's talking about giving the ring to the mother, love that. It made it way funnier compared to if he just mentioned the song since you recognise music instantly and it can catch you off guard.
“How am I supposed to get out of my depression when an unusually heavy snowfall in Canada generates a month-long spell of avalanches killing 163 elk and 16 people?! …Why did they lead with the elk?”
I keep rewinding that part over again and I can’t stop laughing.
“Bitlife but I always pick the worst option”
So just like every other Bitlife or choice based game video?
Pretty much
More like in any game Kevin plays
basically every game Kevin plays
but this time it's his only goal
Lisa: “Who will police, the police?”
Kevin: “IDK, coast guard?”
Ha I’m dead.
Ha I’m dead.
Ha I’m dead
Ha I'm dead.
Ha im dead.
It felt weird hearing him say “call me Kevin” in the intro 😂
It's like waking up and you find your left leg has been lobbed off
Jesus christ died for our sins
Kevin pondering emigration to where would be the worst decision while hovering over "Poland"
Me, a Pole: "Do it. He will never find happiness ever again"
Kevin: “The Germans, they don’t hold a grudge”
The stab in the back myth:
You mean " DIE DOLCHSTOẞLEGENDE"
Meine Enttäuschung ist unermesslich und mein Tag ist ruiniert.
"Nibelungenlied" sitting in the corner....
*quietly watches as 3 Germans slowly bring out knives*
*quietly watches as 3 Germans slowly bring out knives*
Title: every option is the worst
Me: so Where's the change?
Did anyone else notice the high school is named after "St. Default", the patron saint of neutrality?
I love how Asmr is slowly starting to become a bigger part of the main channel.
Reading that back I realize how that sounds weird out of context, but I ain't clarifying it more!
“I graduated from high school. Oh I’m not depressed anymore”
Literally same lol, turns out not spending 6 hours a day with bullies does wonders for your mental health.
Also no cliques, no popularity contest, no weird ass hormones, no more acne, no useless classes that all the adults around you gaslight you into thinking “they teach you about life” and you’re just lazy, You can buy anything you want without asking, you get to decide your own schedule in college, you decide what’s good for *your own* mental health (and for some people, that *isn’t* forcefully shoving them into social situations and hoping they get used to it).
So no, adulthood isn’t “so much worse than high school so quit complaining” like many people claim. Leaving that school fixed what 3 years of therapy couldn’t.
You get a thumbs up from me, glad I’m not the only one who thinks this!
I was the same bro. I left school at 17 and became a tradesman, and it was the best decision I ever made
Bruh how is the workplace any better
@@alioc3298 Depends what you do for a job probably
@@strawbman I teach art classes at a paint and sip bar. I get to drink wine during work. I still don’t like working
Kevin: The Germans don’t hold a grudge
Uh... who’s gonna tell him?
* Alsace-Lorraine intensifies *
*_Sudetenland intensifies_*
I'm about to hire a hitman. Take kevin out with our sparkling water and whatnot
Jesus christ died for our sins
Was heißt grudge
Ah, yes... just like when Kevin played TellTales Walking Dead...
Classic
I’m subbed to you. I think I see you in a lot of comments sections.
just like my life
Now thats a game I havnt heard of in years
Tails I’m a disappointment
“But I pick every bad option”
Literally every bit life video
Gregory
@@treblinka9530 Gregory
literally every video*
Kevin: Trying all military branches
Also Kevin: Skips Coast Guard
Also Kevin: gets rejected by all of them
“Why did they lead with the elk?” It’s just Canada, we like animals more then we like people.
That's exactly what i was thinking
So much for "Canadian Hospitility".
Tbf, it's deserved
Yep, the elk and beavers and bears are much more important here
"it feels like i've lived an entire life and i'm only fifteen!!" yeah that's pretty accurate
Last but not least, navy.
Coast Guard: Am I a joke to you.
Everyone: Yes.
Poor coast guard, you get barely more respect than the Marine Police.
Kevin must know nothing about cats, as cats love sleep so being pasionate about sleep would be the best answer for understanding cat behavior.
Daddy Cockford-Balls is legit the funniest part of this video. Please enjoy it as much as I did.
It's at 10:53 btw
5:12 that interview question was asked by an actual cat which is why he got the job by answering "sleep"
I feel like these bitlife videos have taught me more about the dangers of STD's and not treating them than my sex ed or health classes ever did in high school 😅
Kevin: "No luck finding the Blair witch so far"
Ad: "Do you feel like you're being... watched?"
Can’t believe Kevin dedicated a bitlife video for my life :’)
E
Just want to note for peeps coming into the comment section: Flashing/seizure warning at 10:47 to 11:00 ! Please be careful and stay safe.
Ah thank you I'm not epileptic but thank you
That’s pretty cash money of you bro
I don't get this...care to explain?
Hey hey! Sorry for the late reply.
Some people have epilepsy, a disability that causes seizures or death when they're exposed to overstimulation (like flashing lights.) There's also peeps who just have sensitivity issues with it. :O
Everybody gangsta till the clown pounds you in the chest
“But... she’s my mom” *kevin queuing sweet home Alabama
“Bitlife but I always pick the worst option”
So basically my life
You chose to watch Kevin, that's never the wrong choice
Oh Barry, hello!
I love Kevin reacted with “Why is that an option?” in the attacking a classmate options.
The “but” titles are making a comeback!
Yeah, he's done "doing something a little different"
Kevin: "Germans don't hold a grudge"
Me: German
Me: Are you sure about that?
The fact that only one minute and thirty seconds into the video Kevin passes up the opportunity to call his stepmom "Misses Gay" 💀💀💀
Me: returns from ad
Kevin: Guess I'm dying then
1:32 Massive missed opportunity to have called the stepmother “Mrs Gay”
Like come on Kevin, it would’ve been hilarious! Actually, that would make picking it the right decision... so nevermind
Also, his mom became Mrs. Wrong-Houle...
@@Stevie37 oh my god you’re right
I take back everything I said, that’s the best name
Title: Bitlife but i always pick the wrost option
Fans: When dosen't he pick the wrong option
That SPLIT SECOND of Sweet Home Alabama at 9:28 got me GOOD
THIS!
For a second, scrolling through the comments, I thought no one had noticed. But I knew that would be giving myself too much credit lmao
Is no one going to talk about the fact that at 12:20 the job offer he got was from a place called The Balls Company?
Me 3/4 into the video
"There's no murder in this video, I don't like it"
me when it finally happens
"Yaaaaaay"
Kevin, you don’t need to hurt yourself every video to prove your love for us… this game doesn’t even have sound
it actually does have sound! although, not very important sound...so you still have a point. lmao
F in the chat for all the people who have fallen asleep.
F
f
F
F
I am asleep
I just imagine a doctor coming out to call his daughter in for a vaccine and jusy having to shout “this is wrong”
Better yet, the usual way they do it: "Wrong? This is Wrong?"
11:05 just putting this timestamp here for future me.
It's 12 am here and I bursted laughing so loud I woke up my mom c:
Alternative title: Kevin struggling to juggle his addictions
“BitLife but I always pick the worst option”
*starts in the US*
ah I see this man knows how to choose poorly!
Kevin: It's my mom!
**literally two notes play**
Us, immediately knowing the song: oh lord not this
“essential oils, but in smoothie form” kevin pls enlighten us on the specific mlm you work for
As a soldier, I love that even Kevin forgot the coast guard 😂
To my fellow photosensitive epileptics:
10:46-11:00 contains flashing imagery.
I want to pretend each bit life character he plays, have some sort of telepathic influence to someone in the multi verse to make the same decisions
The worst option for Nationality: American. True Kevin, True.
Don't know. I think I'd rather live in America rather than Syria or South Sudan.
@@Madmax45247 People in South Sudan live in actual stone age conditions. Anyone who complains about living in a first world country is too privileged to appreciate what they have imo
@@timbrown3666 tbh, compared to the rest of the developed world America is pretty terrible, on pretty much all measures, healthcare, education, employment rights ect. Saying America isn't as bad as Sudan kind of misses the point
@@CraicDealer The original comment didn't say it was the worst first world country though, it said it was the worst in the world. Which is objectively pretty false.
@@CraicDealer also America isn’t nowhere near as bad as Sudan, this country is too big to be compared even.
kevin: picks every wrong option and becomes an animator
me, an animator:
One of my BitLife characters died at age 49 due to being too old.
AKA: being depressed because of not getting a specific job until I finally got it after years of trying to get an interview, then playing as a normal human being for the final years.
"Bitlife but I always pick the worst option"
Sounds like a regular callmekevin video
ASMR is an icon
3:29
I like how he’s a complete failure but gets asked out by an S-Tier girl who’s also from Mean Girls clique and plying goddamn golf. When Kevin tries with his character he gets asked out only by trash tier.
I guess sleep works...cats sleep a lot and they figure you can relate to them more. Sleep is important, the mind and body need to recharge!
17:22
"Who am I least likely to offend?"
"The germans"
Me a german: ...aight
Sorry the old Call me Kevin cant come to the phone right now. Why? He’s dead? *in comes I’m wrong*
When ur last name is Burger and Kevin makes fun of it 😢
For some reason kevin saying "she is a tough cookie" is Hilarious
"father time, the greatest hitman of them all"
Love your BitLife content. Something I discovered about this game is the BitLife Bitizenship is the best gift to give someone in the game. If your friends or even enemies with someone give them a Bitizenship and they will immediately want to become best friends. If you give it to a significant other they propose to you right on the spot and it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together. I know that because when I was playing through once and gave my gf a Bitizenship and she proposed to my character immediately. Tragically the wife died a few years later at the age of 28 when a tree fell on the home. Don’t remember my characters name or location all I can remember is that I was playing as a gay woman.
I think Kevin call me was a better host not gonna lie
Imagine, just imagine if Kevin would write an actual movie or tv script from what happens in his videos.
seeing the name “THIS IS Hux” always makes me laugh
Cheeky bit of midnight flashing lights 10:45 - 11:00. Might want to stick a warning for that
I had a near panic when I heard Rip and tear playing during Kevin's intro. I then realized it was spotify, I left it on as I went to grab some wine
Day 98 of telling Kevin that he is tall, dark, and handsome 💜
(And thiccccccccccccc)
Friend!
Hey there Turg!
More like Bore RAGNAROK!!
Day 1 of telling you you simp for a wild Kevin
@@IamaPERSON hi!
Lmao the mom's name is Katie Wrong-Houle. Guess she's always having a rough time 🤣
Whos gonna tell Kevin that the weeknd is one person?
It's not three kids stacked under a trenchcoat?
Was looking for this comment. Lmao
“I’ve heard like two of their songs”
No no, you see, Kevin was simply using the neutral pronoum on The Weeknd
Hey Kevin! I just wanna say THANK YOU, man. Not wanting to be kinda "cliche", but at this moment of my life, your videos are one of the few things that make me laugh. So, really... Thanks Kevin! Wish the best for you
[emigrating] “who will I least offend…. The Germans. They don’t hold a grudge” was the best subtle humor I have ever heard
Watching Kevin's videos is like taking antidepressants.
This is the earliest I’ve ever been to one of Kevin’s videos
3:10 What did Default Default do to become a saint? Was she considered a martyr for starving herself, even though to go to the fridge would be to express an interest/emotion?
17:30 Glad you didn't choose Cuba, you sure have a *lot* of Cuban fans because Western internet is *so* accessible there
19:35 - I like how you said “I got arrested.”