At times like this words often fail us. I am hesitant to write anything here - Yes it is ok to take care of yourself. God can always handle our doubts. I will continue to pray you are covered by the grace and peace of God. And that in the coming days you will sense his grace and peace and a real and tangible way.
To clarify, I meant that I stayed with Gert after he died until people from the mortuary took him away from me for a couple of hours. They brought him to my house after that where I washed and clothed him and sat next to him until we had to bury him.
Dear Tessera, this may sound as a cliché but only Jesus can heal your broken heart. But not through knowledge, or even the fact that you believe that. Apologetics is wonderful and an important way to defend the faith, especially in the time where we are living with atheism and science. But God wants to be so much more to you than facts that you know and believe. I always say, God is a heart God, He wants to connect with you ( us) from the heart and wants us to have real experiences of His love and peace . So real that you FEEL love, peace and comfort. You know that both you and I come from the same church background. There was almost only emphasis on performance and hardly on God's love for His children. But that's the most important thing to know about God! That He IS love and wants to fill you with it. And with that peace that is beyond human understanding ( Philippians 4: 7) . Even now, yes especially now that you need it so desperately. I encourage you to share your heart and pain with your heavenly Father who is waiting for you and always ready to comfort and help you. When I completely surrendered my life to the Lord, even though I was born again many years earlier in 1981, I got so filled and overwhelmed with the love of God that it felt as getting born again again. That same love is available for you Tessera because God loves us all the same and He has no favorites. He is waiting and longing for you to come, to pour out His healing power and love in your heart Sorry for the long comment, but I just wanted to share this with you because I feel much love and compassion for you.
Thank you for your comment. Yes I know apologetics can only take me so far; in Gerts last book he was reading I read the following ; Proof, of course, is no substitute for faith, which is essential to our salvation and for our communion with God, nor is the study of apologetics disrespectful to our faith. Rather it augments it, informs it, bolsters it and reinvigorates it. Were it otherwise, the Bible would not say; “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have”. (1 Pet 3:15) However I also know now that God is a God of love. I pray for God's love and prayed again after your comment. I have experienced freedom from past mindsets and fears. I hope I will FEEL God's love as well. I have always been taught not to go by my feelings although I know now they can be a good indicator. But they can also be misleading. It's a struggle. Especially for someone like me who values rationality above emotions. I have however the last two months been dealing with things very intuitive. Because I have no idea how to deal with it. So I pray and use my intuition. And also talk with my friends a lot on what to do. I miss Gerts love, intellect and insights a lot. But especially his unconditional love.
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At times like this words often fail us. I am hesitant to write anything here - Yes it is ok to take care of yourself. God can always handle our doubts. I will continue to pray you are covered by the grace and peace of God. And that in the coming days you will sense his grace and peace and a real and tangible way.
May the Lord comfort you during these times
Thank you
To clarify, I meant that I stayed with Gert after he died until people from the mortuary took him away from me for a couple of hours. They brought him to my house after that where I washed and clothed him and sat next to him until we had to bury him.
Dear Tessera, this may sound as a cliché but only Jesus can heal your broken heart. But not through knowledge, or even the fact that you believe that. Apologetics is wonderful and an important way to defend the faith, especially in the time where we are living with atheism and science. But God wants to be so much more to you than facts that you know and believe. I always say, God is a heart God, He wants to connect with you ( us) from the heart and wants us to have real experiences of His love and peace . So real that you FEEL love, peace and comfort. You know that both you and I come from the same church background. There was almost only emphasis on performance and hardly on God's love for His children. But that's the most important thing to know about God! That He IS love and wants to fill you with it. And with that peace that is beyond human understanding ( Philippians 4: 7) . Even now, yes especially now that you need it so desperately. I encourage you to share your heart and pain with your heavenly Father who is waiting for you and always ready to comfort and help you. When I completely surrendered my life to the Lord, even though I was born again many years earlier in 1981, I got so filled and overwhelmed with the love of God that it felt as getting born again again. That same love is available for you Tessera because God loves us all the same and He has no favorites. He is waiting and longing for you to come, to pour out His healing power and love in your heart
Sorry for the long comment, but I just wanted to share this with you because I feel much love and compassion for you.
Thank you for your comment. Yes I know apologetics can only take me so far; in Gerts last book he was reading I read the following ;
Proof, of course, is no substitute for faith, which is essential to our salvation and for our communion with God, nor is the study of apologetics disrespectful to our faith. Rather it augments it, informs it, bolsters it and reinvigorates it. Were it otherwise, the Bible would not say; “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have”. (1 Pet 3:15)
However I also know now that God is a God of love. I pray for God's love and prayed again after your comment. I have experienced freedom from past mindsets and fears. I hope I will FEEL God's love as well. I have always been taught not to go by my feelings although I know now they can be a good indicator. But they can also be misleading. It's a struggle. Especially for someone like me who values rationality above emotions. I have however the last two months been dealing with things very intuitive. Because I have no idea how to deal with it. So I pray and use my intuition. And also talk with my friends a lot on what to do. I miss Gerts love, intellect and insights a lot. But especially his unconditional love.