@@rinreborn7364 ye in virtual there is only 2 extremes the girls have to choose who they wanna talk to and who to not answer and guys just get ignored at all anyway sure the side wich can choose got the better in this one ^^ i mean u literly saying its frustraiting u that ppl want to talk to u and get to know u i cant see the problem with it us guys would like to have that "problem" of urs there
I was super skeptical when she claimed no one would talk to her seeing as her mic was muted at the time. Video is poorly edited. Could have shown more actual conversation, less narration. Also, speaking as a dude, I think the main problem guys encounter with being ignored is they're just not that interesting and they aren't doing anything to set themselves apart. Girls get hammered with messages online from thirsty dudes and if you want to stand out from that noise, you need to up your game.
@@Cubee4 I mean it’s hard, if 500 guys wanna talk to one girl she can’t talk to all 500 so ofc she’s gonna narrow it down to people she relates to the most.
@@BubbleBunnyy See the problem here, you're making it a YOU thing when there are million of people struggling. This video was to show how MEN struggle, you just showed that you don't care much about it.
Pervert women put themselves in the place of guys online and IRL to catfish perv on and assault women all of the time. The hell makes you think this is something deserving of praise?
Funny how u got the raw guy experience just being a weirdo and not knowing how to talk to strangers and feeling constantly out of place lol it's just how alot of guys r when they can't meet that masculine expectation
@@cinemaspinbest way I could explain it in my experience is it's the unspoken expectation to have specific personality traits like being the "confident, reliable, and funny stand up guy", regardless of the context of that person's life experience. I feel like the video explains it really well, fail to have that mask and u will be ignored by alot of people. U will face a large unspoken rejection, I'm impressed Phia managed to get a handle on it later on but this is not something that applies to everyone. Many males fail or feel restricted, hence it's why I think alot of guys actually will lean on female Avis, it breaks down that barrier of needing to be held to that rule. If u also think of popular Avi models in VRC, female Avis r much more diverse in body type and personality than guy Avis. I actually have a custom female Avi cuz I couldn't find a guy Avi that DIDNT have a 6 pack and just looked like a regular guy
@@gearturner9307 Norah Vincent "Self-Made Man" is the real life version of this. Sadly she ended up killing herself and if Phia keeps going down this route...well...
To anyone interested I'd definitely suggest looking into a woman named Norah Vincent who is a writer who did a social experiment where she spent 18 months as a guy and by the end of it was miserable from the lie and seeing what men go through. To quote her directly she said "I really like being a woman I like it more now because I think it's more of a privilege." and ultimately gained more sympathy for men and said "Men are suffering. They have different problems than women have but they don't have it better. They need our sympathy, they need our love, and they need each other more than anything else. They need to be together." It's a pretty fascinating subject seeing the opposite gender be able to see what issues are had on the other side.
One thing I wondered about is in the early days of vrchat, when i wore male avatars no one really talked or interacted with me much, when i wore female avatars people were nicer and kinder, and typically more friendly. First time I also ever heard someone say they liked the sound of my voice. Also when i would be mute people seemed to be the kindest and nicest, but then once they heard I'm a guy, their interest and kindness goes way down.
It was absolutely amazing working with you for this! The whole video was so well executed and the fact that no one clicked onto it until you told them shows just how convincing it really was. Thank you again so much! :D
@@TheVirtualRealityShow you could try a follow on experiment where you stick with a (different) female avatar. e.g. some generic anime type but keep the male voice mod and the assumed identity. See how that goes. Another to try would be being something like a hotdog or other random non-human thing/being, again, keep the voice/identity.
I’m actually amazed you got Voicemod to work so well. I’ve been trying to go the other way around and I always get a robotic sounding voice no matter what voice I try.
Trans woman, and I have been using online to help cope with my dysphoria for years now while not able to do much otherwise. Little tips is don't rely on the voice changer so much. Practice your voice and learn the difference between pitch and weight. The voice changer is just used to help tune your voice to be more convincing. Try to avoid clichés aswell, just talk like you would normally but swap genders.
Not a bad voice morph, usually what people do wrong with a morph is just pitch shifting and not timbre formant shifting. For best results I'd use a voice morph that allows control of both formant and pitch shift adjusting for the most natural sound. I don't troll with voice morphs just mostly use for vocal tracks and acting. Looks like an enlightening experience just hope people don't play with others hearts.
This video made me realize that some things guys experience isn’t just normal. I don’t even use eboy models and all these things happen all the time. I’ve become so used to people just walking away that this video was a reality check.
Thanks I needed that. I wondered why people walked away from me, I felt insecure if I wasn't good looking enough or charismatic enough. Now I know most average guys have the same experience so I feel normal I guess. Doesn't mean I want it to be this way :/
This was a very cool concept to see what it’s like to be a guy within VRChat. It really puts a perspective on how some dudes feel/act within VRChat. As a dude, I had plenty of experiences like you experienced and it’s super cool that you used a tool to completely hide your voice. This video for sure will get you somewhere, I can feel it!
In a game where you can literally be anything, from a pop cat to a bagel, there are still some very ingrained and strict gender norms at play. There are parts of VRC that are safe and welcoming for trans and non binary peeps, but there is also this space where if your voice or mannerisms don't match the eboy or egirl you're piloting, people lose their fricking minds. As someone who doesn't quite fit the binary in real life, it was actually difficult to find an avatar in VRC that felt "right" for me and how I wanted to express my gender identity in VR. So difficult, that I ended up just making one for myself. This of course doesn't mean that eboys and egirls don't have their place. I recognise how important some avatars are, especially for a trans person who might be dealing with gender dysphoria and how life saving VR can be. I also think VR is becoming this wonderful space where people can find joy in expressing themselves; regardless of what gender they might identify as in real life, and in ways that might not be possible due to cultural and social expectations. It is my hope that social games like VRC will continue to become a space where we not only gain a better understanding of other people and their lived experiences but where we are also given the opportunity to discover more about ourselves.
Yeah. I feel like a lot of people look over the gender norms when talking about VRChat. It is VERY much a thing, something that's harder to escape than even real life.
I always have this identity crisis when i pick out avatars in vrchat. There are either super masc males, or over sexualized females, and it gets really difficult to find a good avatar that is neither.
This reminds me a lot of a book I read in college, "Self-Made Man" - basically a lady tries your same experiment, but like 20+ years ago and IRL. It's a good read; she talks about some of the same mind-trips you do here.
@@crapool4486 that is interesting.. and sad too.. It appears she chose volunary assisted death because of chronic depression? It appears she spent a lot of mental energy dealving to the subject of depression and mental illness.. I suspect these were contributory. I have seen many people whom become what the spend the most thinking about.
I appreciate how you are pushing the boundaries of how people think about VR and what's possible, not just technologically, but socially. This was very well done, like all your videos, and you being so candid about how you felt is a big part of that.
As a trans person, watching you experience this experiment was extremely fascinating. It's interesting to hear you refer to your presentation as a guy as a "lie" and how you dissociated once you became "comfortable with the lie" because that's how I feel IRL when I'm not presenting my preferred gender. However, when I'm in VRChat and I can inhabit the body of my preferred gender; it's incredibly validating and comfortable and my brain just clicks into being confident and happy and my dysphoria vanishes. VRChat is a incredibly validating tool and it's built my confidence and conviction up a lot towards my IRL transition progress. It's also interesting to see other people experiment with the gender they're not and get a taste of that dissociative feeling that trans people feel every day. Phia, I think what you felt was a taste of dypshoria; and that's a really eye opening experience. It also gives credit that dysphoria is a valid and real sensation that anyone can feel.
this but rec room. i mostly just find this funny because if i were to do something like this, i would feel the exact opposite and its kinda funny to compare what i feel to what she does, even if dysphoria isnt the same for everybody
This. I live my life and everything feels like a lie, and I don't have the luxury of being able to come out of that lie hearing her experience living in a gender not of her own resonated with me so well because that's the only thing I can experience be it out of safety or just a fear of being judged
This aspect of vrchat is so interesting to me. I am a Trans guy, not out in real life and feel miserable everyday. But when going into vrchat where all my friends know me as louca as a guy, I dont feel like I'm lying about my identity I just feel like I'm being myself, I feel more comfortable. It sucks when I start speaking though people immediately start doubting my gender identity
I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you're able to move out soon if necessary or start a new life as out of the closet. Homophobia and transphobia really sucks
Congrats you two! Being a couple while also both being independent UA-camrs and cross-promoting each other's content is probably quite a challenge, but I for sure wish you two the best! You're my favorite VR UA-camrs 🥰
This is a great video, I always wondered what it would be like seeing the world from the other side of gender. I wouldn’t be surprised if you could make an entire video series on Virtual perception and how it influences people in VR. Not just gender identity but several different inputs
I find it interesting that one would dissociate after only a couple days as the wrong gender. Being a trans woman has been difficult for me in many ways. And it is odd to see a cisgender person getting to see a small piece of it. Experiencing how easy it is to hide ones gender in social situations. And how potentially distressing it might be to do that long term. It isn't a comfortable thing to hide ones genuine self, and I think if more people understood that, they would be more kind when people come out as transgender.
I'm a guy who likes to role play as a girl in online games, not because I feel like a girl but because I like girls and seeing my character as a girl makes me happy. I completely behave as a girl in those games so people just asssume I'm a girl. If someone asks if I'm a girl I'm like nah man I'm a guy, and everyone completely accepts that. I've made very long lasting friendships in those games.
@@FAQUERETERMAX "it makes me happy to see my character as a girl." Is a common experience with feminine transgender people. A lot of roll play centered games are designed for you to experience things as your character. So depending on the game and how you play this could be an example of gender euphoria. Which isn't entirely unusual for people who identify as men. Society doesn't give men a lot of space to express their feminine side, so having an outlet for that often feels nice.
@@tentative_flora2690 I choose female characters over male characters whenever I get the chance. I don't identify with them, same as people who play a game where you become shark act as a shark but don't convince themselves the shark IS them. I imagine transgender people like to imagine themselves as that girl character which is fine too. Everyone should be able to express themselves and experiment different things
I'm a trans guy and you have no idea how jealous this made me lol. I've tried the free voicemod ftm voice changer and it literally just makes the voice deeper so it just sounds like a girl with an unnaturally deep voice and it sucks. Your voice was so good! Seriously, how did you do it? I need that juice girl! I'm trying to be a UA-camr and live streamer and this would help SO MUCH on really dysphoric days until I can get voice training and or hormones.
I feel like convincing them is either going to be stupidly easy or extremely difficult based on how comfortable he or she feels. Like... If you asked a guy who is comfortable with who he is he will gladly change roles. But if you ask some guy who needs to be seen manly to feel good about themselves it will be impossible to get them to act girly for any reason
Phia this was an awesome vid! As a trans person hearing your initial reaction to socializing as a guy was so interesting. I'm a trans man (guy assigned female at birth) and it reminded me of how I felt when I was successfully socializing with people as a girl. It felt nice to be accepted but I felt like I was lying and it put distance between me and others. Your feeling of dissociation kind of sounded like dysphoric dissociation though probably not exactly the same thing. Anyone ultimately I could never become comfortable interacting as a girl but I'm glad you were able to enjoy being both a girl and a boy :)
You werent assigned anything at birth. Youre a female. You will be female for your entire life. Making you either a girl or a woman. Anything else is psychological delusion. You anxiety issue around socialising is entirely normal and means nothing about your gender.
I'm sending you all my support ! I'm a transgirl and so yeah yeah exactly, it's very...strange, hard and uncomfortable at first.. I mean, Phia didn't had any problem with her body or her voice ( wich is almost the whole problem for us ) but it's interesting to see how people react, and in her case yeah it felt weird for her, but the other people had no idea and so wasn't bothered at all. I wish we will see the world and people like this, and that it is true, we're probably the most embarrassed haha. I feel like I said total non-sense so just ; I feel you, be brave and be happy everyday ! 🏳️⚧️🧁✨
Watching Phia get a taste of dysphoria was very interesting and validating. Dysphoria is an extremely difficult sensation to describe to people and a lot of people seem to think that it's not real; but as Phia has shown, cis people can experience dissociation and dysphoria too if they really try to inhabit the gender they aren't.
Hi Phia, I'm a profession Dungeon Master for Dungeons & Dragons. I've spent over 4000 hours of session time being every single NPC every player has ever talked to. I've been the horrible villains, the homeless waif, the rich noble, the crazy cultist, the evil dragon... the good dragon... I've been character that were beloved, and characters that were despised by the players. I poured a part of my soul into each one, tried to imagine life as each one, what they want and what they feel. I know what you are feeling when you talk about disassociation. It can be uncomfortable, but as a Dungeon Master I'm creating worlds for my players-- I'm not lying about who I am-- if you enjoyed being someone else, and want to do it in a way that is fun and honest, try being a DM for a roleplaying game. :)
As a cis guy who plays as a girl in every game possible, including VR games, this was a super interesting video to me. It's always felt natural to me in the same way being a guy in real life has, although if asked about my gender I do always immediately say I'm male so that I'm not lying about it (obviously that would defeat the purpose of this experiment though). I've found playing as a woman in any online game to be way more freeing; while there are definitely some creeps, overall it's way easier to fit in and talk to people because so often when people see a guy the immediate reaction is some level of concern or fear that they're a creep (mainly when interacting with women). Basically I've found it way, way easier to have positive interactions when playing as a girl.
@@stormlord6549 Wouldn't be the first time lol, though it's amusing to me since when I first started doing this it was purely for sexual attraction reasons and later became the norm ("why play as a guy when I can watch a cute girl on my screen instead?"). The idea of being a woman irl does not appeal to me, but in a virtual space it's fun to explore the other side in a temporary way.
@@BlueSparxLPs that's a really interesting experience! It really goes to show how arbitrary the current notions of gender are. It's all fluid and weird. I love it.
Honestly I really like this experiment, it’s something I never thought about while playing VRchat, especially when my avatar is a girl. I’m not trans and I don’t have gender dysphoria of any kind, I’m just a guy that likes stereotypically girly stuff so it just felt immediately natural to me to play a girl avatar. I keep my voice and mannerisms the exact same but just the feeling of being able to look at my hands or see myself in the mirror, as small and even to me as strange as it is, it genuinely made me really happy and while I’m perfectly happy and comfortable with my gender and irl body, it just feels like when I’m able to see my avatar it’s like it allows me to do things or have an appearance that my irl self can’t. I don’t know if it’s the same concept but even though I keep my mannerisms the same I do notice that while I’m usually very quiet and almost hide in a corner persay irl, I’m a lot more outgoing and happily willing to start conversations with people but I’m not sure if that’s due to my avatar feeling more natural to me than my irl self or if it’s due to something else entirely
This makes me think of that female writer who spent 18 months passing as a man (she wront "Self-Made Man"). Sadly she couldn't get over the trauma and took her own life. 😔 *Being male is hard.*
As a male myself I have experienced a lot of man hate from people when they find out I am a guy IRL, Like for example I was on a forum once but didn't have a gender selected in my profile and people was very nice and friendly and then later on when I went back and filled out my bio and selected male as my gender everyone's attitude changed and they started treating me like trash and they would even go as far as deleting my posts or muting me when I never had any problems before. they singled me out and eventually banned me. man hate is a real thing guys experience all the time, not just online but in real life also
@@chaosXP3RTis male a sex? Yes. Can you discriminate based on a sex? Yes. Is discrimination based on sex sexism? Yes. That’s all you need to know. And if you bring up the power thing. Do you think that homeless man people assume is a drugged out rapist when all he did was get financially destroyed by his cheating wife thinks of himself as having power for being a male? I bet they wish they were a female like their ex wife was and got to keep living a normal life for being one like she did 🤷🏾♂️. I’m hoping your comment was sarcastic lol
@@super8bitable how else am I suppose to say XY chromosome adult mammal of the human species? If I just said man, it could have meant the same thing but it also could have meant an XX chromosome adult mammal of the same species that decided they want to switch sides 48 hours ago sooo… to avoid confusion, I’ll use that. You’re allowed to think it’s a red flag too though I’m not stopping you. Sex and gender are different and this is a sex problem 🤷♂️. We are strictly talking about male men and female women…at least I think
Crazy cuz you just stumbled kinda into the life of a closeted trans person. That feeling of lying to ppl was a harsh reality for me personally before I came out. Very cool video and take on something like this, enjoyed it alot. To all my closeted trans folk your valid and loved. 😎👍🏾
I absolutely love this. Midway through the video I just felt very validated in how a lot of your thoughts on the experiment are just an extension of the trans experience. Things like being disassociated, looking down and not being "you", starting to feel comfortable in your virtual skin after a while etc. Its really sombering!
I was so excited for this video when you were talking about it on stream, loved hearing your thoughts then so I can't wait to watch this video to get really into it. Edit: Ayy nice sponsorship pog!
This video is definitely a good surface level look at the idea of gender being more of a social construct than anything else. Baby steps like this are what I think the world needs when going forward into a more accepting, and open society. Loved the video, keep up to good work!
Umm really? The world isn't going to a more accepting and open place, it's going to be quite the opposite. The USA, which is the one exporting all this extreme Liberalism, is an empire in decline and the unipolar world is coming to an end. Other countries like China, Russia, and Even Africa are going to gain more prominence on the global stage and begin exporting their culture and beliefs. One thing I can guarantee is that theirs will not be as open and accepting as the USA has been. Our future isn't Star trek, it's mad max.
@@miroslavbulldosex I know this is like a month late, but I only just saw this and figured it was still worth answering. Basically what I mean is that gender is not defined by the parts of our body, but rather a way for us to represent ourselves in society.
It's rough out there sometimes when you're a guy, but there are always ways to manage. Just gotta keep your head up and remember that some people simply aren't worth your emotional energy.
The fact phia never knew about that previously means that just because she was a girl she never once ran into that problem in her entire life.... And it makes me sad knowing men are treated this way just for being men... And then women get away with pretty much anything as long as they are cute
Grats on you for doing this, especially as a cis person. You didn't have to open yourself up to gender stress but you did anyway and that's admirable. It's a great test of both dysphoria and sexism. A lot of people aren't capable of talking about this without turning it into misogyny, but automatic hatred/distrust of men and automatic favoring/trust towards women is definitely real. I'm a trans guy, I grew up 22 years living as female, and when I socially transitioned, the entire world got cold towards me. At first I was happy I was no longer getting unwanted creepy and patronizing attention, but I also lost out on a lot of normal positive attention too. There is a healthy middle ground that neither men nor women are allowed to stand on. We should be working towards that. As they say, don't judge a book by its cover. People are people first, men and women second.
OK, but working towards -- how? There has to be a theory. There has to be a picture of what that means. There has to be a strategy. Something intelligible and practicable, and in a way that is accessible to the motivation circuits of public engagement. Otherwise, we're just hoping and praying like guns-rights advocates whenever there's a school shooting.
@@LionKimbro well, I mean, if you've consise plan to unravel gender roles that were built over thousands of years and have immense social momentum behind them I'm all ears. For me I'm just working on creating safe spaces for people who don't fit neatly into societal expectations and exposing other people to expressions outside the accepted bubble as well.
It's interesting cuz some of the stuff you described feeling was actually stuff I used to feel as a trans person before I came out. Heavy dissociation from my body, a feeling like I was lying to people around me, and especially guilt any time I connected with a new person because I felt like they were becoming friends with a version of me that wasn't really "real". A woman, someone by another name, someone who I was only very good at pretending to be. That's a lot of what dysphoria felt like to me, because I distanced myself enough from my body that it didn't affect me anymore. But I just felt so bad that I was "fooling" people into being my friend. Of course in the end, I didn't really change as a person when I came out and my friends didn't feel betrayed, so that was a nice thing that doesn't always get to happen for trans people. But it's kind of crazy that you experienced the same thing in the opposite direction!! It's maybe the closest way a cis person can experience dysphoria so I'm glad it was only temporary for you 😅
11:27 I'm a girl who usually makes male characters in mmos. I've watched thirsty dudes give my guy friends (using female characters) tons of free expensive gear, help them level, spam friend requests...
Good video, as a trans woman still mid-transition, one of the biggest reasons I'm saving up for an Index at the moment is to be able to play around with this kind of expression, ESPECIALLY because I am competent enough with Blender to make my own personal models.
This has been me for the entire time I've been a VRChat user. Yumi came into being on 14th Jan 2019 and I always use this avatar. I'm a straight, 53 year old male. I often get asked if I'm trans but I'm not. I don't lie to anyone. I am a smol anime fox girl 'trap'. It's hilarious when I do the real voice reveal and no, I don't use Voicemod. But Yumi is Yumi. She's not me but she also is. And as a mental health supporter, people warm to her and open up to her much more easily than they might to with an old man. I'm very comfortable with my dual personality. Everyone should experiment with it. It's said that you can't know someone unless you've walked a mile in their shoes. How about walking a hundred miles in their body?
Hi! New VRChat user here, and I found the cheat code. If you can do a passable German accent, just go and grab a TF2 Medic avatar and head to a 2Fort server, and just hard RP the medic. Everyone will literally flock around you to the point where it can become overwhelming.
i just wanna note that one of my friends uses one of the models u used as his main for a long ass time and i always make fun of him for it bc the name of the avi is "bucket" (short for bucket hat) and the moment i saw it i immediately was like "OMG BUCKET MY FAVORITE BOI!!!!" i love both my friend and the avatar for that reason and that reason only.
One of the things I really hate about being a guy is that people who don't know you will literally see you as a potential threat by default. Sadly we live in a world where people just have no choice but be on their toes when you, a stranger guy is trying to approach them to strike up a conversation, or coincidentally walking in the same direction as someone else in a dark alley. I hate the real predators and the scumbags who made this a reality. And if you are in a heteronormative relationship, be your partner whatever gender, if you are the one perceived as the traditionally masculine one, and something's going down, an argument, whatever, it is just "probably your fault" or that you are the aggressor anyways and if there was a victim in that situation, it's your partner and it can never be you. I am a transguy by the way and I started coming out and transitioning at 21, so I have had my share of experiencing the world through female presenting people's eyes as well and over all, I feel like if everyone else had to spend some time (couple years) living as their opposite gender as well, and I mean by truly immersing themselves just like how Phia did in this video, the world would be much more empathetic and perhaps we could finally tear the beast that is the social constructed genders down for good and start treating people as individuals and not as the so-called-gender that they intentionally or unintentionally represent.
4:04 - Nah, that's what I expect would happen to me too. As a man. Just naturally awkward and anxious; not needing to swap genders to not know how to interact with people naturally. - I feel that the experience of people finding you creepy is the most accurate aspect of the experience of being a male.
I, (14 male), got an oculus about nine months ago. I made an alt account that has a girl name. For the past nine months I have pretended to be a female in vr. I have let it go so far I actually don’t know how to stop it without breaking many hearts. Please give me advice. Edit: I don’t use a voice changer, I have a natural voice.
Y'know, Ive "pretended" to be a girl in mmo games ever since I was a young teenager, and I do feel guilty I was lying to friends I've made online. It felt more natural to me being percieved as female, and I just never corrected any of my online friends. If the feeling of lying to them gets worse and worse as time goes on, you can just come out to them 1 on 1 privately, and maybe some of them would totally understand. Real friends forgive and stick around. I never did that though. Because I learned I actually am a trans girl eventually and being a girl online was not a lie, but my truth.
I don't know what I was expecting, but I definitely did not expect to see a lot of aspects of being trans... The dissociation, identity crises, feeling like you're lying, feeling like what people like of you is not *you*. I felt all this back when I was in the closet, and I still do. (Luckily I have some amazing friends who immediately accepted the "new" real me.) Looking into a mirror and seeing someone that is supposedly you, but doesn't feel like the real you is... well lets stop that sentence there. This was an amazing video and it was very interesting to see someone else's perspective of being someone else, and I'll probably refer to it when someone asks me what it's like "being trans".
I'm a trans-woman, and going into VR has been life changing for me, i just choose not to talk because of my voice (VoiceMod should work on quest 2!) But your feeling of disassociation is similar to how I feel in real life instead of VR, mine is just the opposite of yours.
I get what you want to say with what you said about your disassociation is the opposite of hers, but how could you know that her experiment in an imaginary environment is the same as your experience in real-life? Isn't there a fundamental difference between a virtual avantar and a body that experience life with all its senses? Edit: I forgot to add experience, see comment below.
As a trans girl I have experienced a lot of this first hand, obviously in reverse but the differences of how you are treated is clear. I always hated being treated as a guy. I didn't know how to make friends like that, it seems hard.
"i didnt know how to make friends like that" That is entirely in your head. You let the way other people treat you make you believe there was something wrong with you and feel like you had to change to be happy. You are the boy you have always been, you'vr just convinced yourself that you're happier pretending you a girl whe you could have just been the exact same person as you are now, without having to lie to yourself. There was something about yourself you were unhappy about and rather than facing ot you put on a mask that allows you to ignore it. but it will always be there, eating away at you until you address whatever it actually is.
@Sasha Lemay wow what an obnoxious prick you are. I'll do whatever i want thanks. I'll continue to try to help people, you can fart out meaningless false niceties and garbage platitudes if you like. but don't try to tell me what to do with a smug "thank you in advance for being reasonable". you're not a good person. you're a abuser who puts on a smile and pats them self on the back. you'll reinforce peoples psychological issues and think you're helping them, but you might as well be stabbing them with a thousand cuts that you think is "being nice", like a sociopath you dont really care about others, you care about being seen as good. Put a few more smiley faces after your disgusting comment, it doesn't change the fact youre a terrible person.
@@ghosty0738 you people sure like to tell people what to do dont you. Sorry but yeah, i'm going to continue to tell people the truth and tell them they don't have to change, that they can accept themselves for who they are and will always be, and they can change their character to be whatever person they want. Sex is completely irrelevant, no one should feel happy or sad based on the reality of what the atoms in their body make their sex. Can you stop defending those who will push this ideological nonsense that is causing people to harm themselves? can you do that? You dont have to, you can do whatever you want. but one day youre going to look back at this like we look at lobotomies now, as barbaric. how we look back on shock treatment, and conversion therapy. No one is born in the wrong body. to convince someone their body is "wrong" is disgusting. But you do you.
I could never do this for the simple fact that I can’t wear a female avatar without feeling a weird sort of disgust towards myself, and the thought that always comes to mind is “this isn’t me”. A lot of the time I feel more comfortable with the body of a machine than that of a human
but thats the thing about vr chat... you can be yourself... and this "you" doesnt have to be like you irl at all. keep in mind many of the people that are "real" just wear a mask while they are in irl... because they wouldnt be accepted the way they are... your a girl irl but hate it? just be a male online! why is this version of "you" less you then you actually are. yes you played a role in this experiment... but for those that play the role of for example a girl irl while feeling like a dude... thats the reality
"thats the reality" Thats their delusion. Theres a difference. Star meome believing they "feel lile a dude" is the result of incorrectly linking that thought to some form of self hatred. They do t like their body, TV ey are afraid of puberty, they have anxiety. Whatever it is, the human brain can link things when there is no real link. A girl who doesnt like the sound of her voice, being told that makes her trans, isnt real. Nearly every si gle person on the planet doesnt like to hear their owm voice heard back, its entirely normal, yet one lie combined with anxiety, in a moment of weak ess explaited by someome with an ideological motive, results in a psychologist cal delusion that can lead to them self harming. All based on lies. The reality is all anyone can do is accept their sex, they cant change it, no one is born in the wrong body. All amyome can do is accept their sex and realise they can have whatever character they want, they can be a talkative, outgoing, dominant woman if they want. It doesnt make them a guy.
@@ge2719 But it just simply doesn't work like that. You can't feel like the opposite gender and just tell yourself "I should accept myself the way I am" and that'll make the feelings go away. Trust me, I've tried for a very long time, just hoping it's some phase I'll get over when I'm older. I try to forget about it. But like any issue you try to ignore, it won't just go away. Like you've said, I thought maybe I'm just a very masculine dominant woman. But why is when people see me as a man, it makes me happy? I never hated my body, I'm indifferent to it. But if I could look, sound, and encapsulate what makes a man I would be so much happier. My advice, just let people be what they want, if it makes them happier or maybe even saves their life, doesn't affect anyone else, then what's so wrong about it?
@@TheWackiestDemon where did i say ignoring it or wishing it to go away was the way to solve the issue? I never said its easy. But if you think it can just go away be willing it to, its no wonder that didnt work. Do you think anorexic people can just wish they weren't anorexic any more? You cannot "be whattever you want" You are a woman. Eople seeing you as a man makes you happy? Thats entirely psychological. Giventime i could find out why you feel happy when you get that response and it will more thab likely be linked to some deep issue you have. That doesnt mean you are a man. Other people making you feel happy is never a healthy basis for your identity. Yoi are a dominant woman, thats fine. THAT is you "being whatever you want". Because you can have whatever character traits you want, yoi cant change you bioogy. No amount of hormones or surgery can do that, no matter howhappy you may think they make you feep they are yet another external stimulus sparking an emotional response that then controls your beliefs You can be whatever woman you want to be, and you can be happy. But you cant just ignore your issues and just hope they will go away. And i dont k ow what to tell you because now it seems even psychologists will just tell you to start taking hormones as "treatment" and wont try to help you address your feelings at all and wont try to help you be happy with who you are, they will convince you that you will only be happy if you pretend to be something you arent. The best thing you can do is detach your identity from your feelings and love yourself for who you are without even having to use the word man/woman.
@@TheWackiestDemon also your statement "if i could encapsulate what it is to be a man i would be happier". What does that even mean? Thats entirepy your perception of what a "man" is. Likely an extremely stereotypical view of "men". And because you have a stereotypical view of what a "woman" is, you think you cant be those characteristics as a woman, so you think you need to be a "man". But thats nonsense. You can be whatever you want, as a woman. List all the character traits you think men have and that you want to embody. There is nothing you can list that you cant be as a woman.
This was interesting! Fun seeing how your experiences kinda mirrored mine, to some extent, trying to get into the community. I kinda stopped playing VRchat because of the Day 1 and Day 4 experience you described. VRchat was one of the places I kinda tried experimenting really hard with being *myself* and what I’ve mainly found is people like me much more when I pretend not to be. It’s just another place where I’ve gotta put on a mask if I want people to like me, and I’ve got enough of that in the real world.
This was certainly interesting. In normal games you can perform this same thing, but in VR Chat type systems it seems to be a more personal mirror of yourself. Voice changing is one thing, but movements (especially with full body trackers which I am so jealous of), attitude, etc. You aren't just typing or taking a moment to type, or even just voice changing in Discord/Teamspeak/Ventrillo/etc. Honestly, I never thought of VR as a bastion for trans and other groups, but it really makes sense. On a non-super thoughtful watching, I always find it interesting when people become "guys" and see life is weirder/harder. Like the one person who went undercover as a guy in real life and found out that all the guys she hung out with bragged about and loved their wives and were hard workers. Even something like this where it's found out that just nobody cares to talk to you most of the time (even in real life), or are hyper aggressive until they get to know you. Heck, in real life you might have approached that girl and gotten maced by her. :p But all in all, really, I'd be curious to see this same thing done in other VR communities. It also makes me curious about how LGBT folk handle VR in general. For those going for re-assignment surgery, VR could fill a gap in the processing and testing that is required. The social aspect, as a guy who is generally ignored in VR chat :p, never occurred to me that it could actually have honest therapy type situations.
This inspires me to explore my feminine side in VRChat. I get frustrated sometimes with trying to present in real life because of things beyond my control such as beard stubble, my voice, my hairline, my facial structure, etc. But VR is a whole other ballpark.
Honestly, I feel this was not explored close enough. This is a good expiroment on the deeply isolating and alienating social boundaries placed on men are. That we are just used to, which is just room temperature to us. I feel it is easier to take the cold shoulders and iffy posturing on just your mere presence, before you even say hi. When at the end of the day, it isn't your lived in experience. You can just take off the VR goggles and return to living a social life on relative easy mode. When that is in the back of your mind the whole time, that you can just "escape" this. But keep in mind, despite getting a taste of what it is like as a guy. You were still on a social application. That is the best case scenario for socializing in a male form. Meanwhile, guys put on the goggles to escape the reality of lowkey trying to sell people on being comfortable with thier presence. There is this unfair rep all guys face to being judged by our worst examples.There are negative connotation to the masculine gender. Like all the half joking preconcieved notions these people had about you. (9:58) Or how that guy got "teritorial" around his gf. You have to navigate all these mountians of anxieties of your mere presences before you even get your foot into the door. It is a constant and endless up hill battle to be accepted. So guys take on female avatars to experience what it is like have a warm reception to your presence for once. To have people care about your emotions, ACTUALLY care about your well being and if you are having a good time. It is so spiritaully healing as a dude. That such a superficial change in our appearance can change so much of how people interact, how they treat you, or even choose to engage with you. We are placed into this box when we're born. It is all we know. But once we taste it, it is unmistakable on what we've been deprieved of all our lives. A box, a life sentence, that we can only find repreive from in VRchat. Kinda feels like VRchat will always be that little more profound to guys for that reason.
im non-binary and VRC was part of the reason i realized i wasnt cis. funnily enough it was because i was in an alphonse elric avatar and some people couldnt tell what gender i was due to my voice + the avi, so they referred to me as they/them and i was like "hol up that feels good..." so yippeee now im non-binary thanks VRC!! i wanna try and get my sister whos trans into VRC to help her feel gender euphoria
I see a lot of people saying they want to see the reverse of this video. Guy becomes girl. And then a swarm of people saying thats normal vrchat.... And the fact most guys would rather be seen as women really tells you a lot by itself about how society treats men and women so differently that almost unanimously by all men can agree women have it better socially just because there girls
Yeah, not even a surprise the "perfect escapism" for men is just to not be one. It even goes beyond that, I first started using girl avatar because I was tired of the difference of how people treated me compared with male avatar (path of less resistance, no gender identity exploration or escapism) but now friends tells me "please go back to your girl avatar, it feels weird" and some VRchat dudes even forgot I'm a man to the point they proposed to me...At this point, it's not just about escapism, people are just mad and have a hard time accepting the concept of male as soon as an opportunity arise to forget about it.
LOL what I had no idea it was you? hahahaha. I still got you on my friendslist from the day you joined Chroah and complimented my voice. You totally got me, Kudos to you I can't stop smiling, thank you for this!
It's like method acting, for me after playing a part it's like pull out apart of you. My hardest was playing a character that was opposite of my likes and personality. It took months to "fix" the thoughts and perceptions. I am glad I tried to be that character for musical and plays.
As a Trans Person i've been struggling with this alot. The Thing is my voice isnt convincing I Sound and act like a Girl.I am me and I am a Guy but I feel sad because evereyone thinks I am a Girl :/
hm... i am trans myself and yes i do know about the "sound problem" but personally i think its not really about the way you act... its more about the way you express what your saying... i noticed that myself a while ago... maybe talk with this with your closer friends and try to notice and remeber their speaking patterns
Welcome to the wonderful world of being a modern man. Would you like soul crushing societal expectations or absolutely destroying toxic masculinity and bullying today? The current system ain't great, and you get called a pussy for trying to stand up to it. Also bonus emotional damage points depending on where you work and what atmosphere is built up by your coworkers. *Construction comes to mind.* Welcome to the team! 😎👍🏳️🌈
There is nothing wrong with your voice. You have YOUR voice. You are a girl. Whatever characteristic it is you think that makes you a boy, you can be that as what you are, a girl. Whatever it is you've read or been told about your voice is lies. Someone telling you that being happy about your voice makes you trans, is lying to you.
@@Draax17 telling someone they are them self, thats theres nothing wrong with them and they dont need to change to feel happy, and they can be whatever they want, is bullying? you have been so manipulated about this that you are completely detached from reality.
OMG Never knew you and Thrill were a couple but have I thought about it before, how two Random VR Celebs could become a couple hahah Especially after seeing you guys travel to VR Conventions together. Kudos! Love you both.
Interesting topic. Not unique to VR, but VR significantly strengthens the effects. First time I ever experienced this was when I wanted to go surprise a close friend with joke account on an old MMORPG. Thinking of ways to surprise them, I decided to make a female character since I never did that. So upon trying to level it up to get to my friend's level before I start chatting with my friend. People kept on showering me with compliments, and almost every guy I ran into was giving me free items. This just blew my mind when this happened. Stuff like this would happen in future games. Usually by playing classes in games where you can only be one gender. Of course, even before video games, anyone that heard my voice on the phone always assumed I was a girl, so I do feel that people legitimately thought I was a girl whenever people thought I was a girl online. I have not tried to be a girl in VR yet so maybe that'll be something to try for fun sometime. Though uh, a few people have mistaken me for a girl already anyways, sooooo might not be as big of a change as it would be for other people. I gotta get back into voice acting stuffs though so I can pull it off more easily. (Also while my voice is kinda soft now, it used to be soooo much softer and I miss it being super soft.) Just being the avatar and your perception of what the avatar is can influence how you behave. Here's some things other people or myself have noticed about when I use certain avatars since I'm incredibly sensitive to VR stuff. I don't generally use human avatars because for some reason a lot of them trigger the uncanny valley for me because my subconscious mind is like "this is human, but it doesn't look like human in real life, but we are in a world that acts like real world, something isn't right!". So I tend to use robots and furry avatars: Protogens usually make me more energetic. Also I tend to smile a lot. Maybe because they are always smiling, or I just really like the way their face looks. I will say I've noticed that my face usually subconsciously tries to mimic whatever avatar I'm using. Midnight Lycanroc or Hobkins make me be a bit more sassy Rikkors (big fluffy bird things) usually make me more relaxed and calm. Of course, I'm generally a relaxed and calm person in general, all of these avatars just influence me to be a little different. So when I am the rikkor, I'm generally at my most calm/relaxed. I'm sure there's other examples, but that's just off the top of my head and there's probably other things that happen that I'm not noticing. First time I ever noticed myself doing things differently based on avatars was getting into a very pink avatar and it effected my emotions strongly and for some reason I felt like flirting which I never do. I don't think I ever had that strong of a change ever since, but I did find that very interesting. So yeah, avatars can influence how you behave and such. I've also seen people go through changes of how they view their gender when they try using avatars of the opposite gender. However, for most people I attribute that more to them looking for a change, rather then letting the avatars influence them to come to that conclusion. Gotta remember correlation does not always equal causation after all. Once again, don't need VR for this to happen but it makes it significantly stronger. I did say perception of an avatar for a reason because there are some studies about giving someone a white lab coat. One group of people being told they are scientists, the other half being told they are artists. Then they go about solving their problems in very different ways. So even if you have the same avatar as someone else, it could influence you in a different way than someone else. I've taught people how to play video games enough to definitely know that people are very much influenced by how a character looks. It always amuses me when someone picks a character, fails with them, then picks "another characters' and does well. This other character being identical in gameplay because they are a skin. However, because the character seems more aggressive/defensive or whatever to fit how you are supposed to play the game made them play the way they are supposed to because they were trying to do what they perceive the character should be doing.
You seem to know more about how avatars play on the human psyche & the performativity of the avatars. While I haven't played Vr with a female avatar (nor do I want to), I've had a personal experience with an modified Kobodal dragon avatar which gave very different feelings compared to every other avatar and I have no idea what they mean.
@@Joshlama A little vague, but with information given and experiences I've had with other people, I just gotta say go explore those feelings in case they turn into something that might just interest you. I can see it going a few different ways, but that'd be the reply for all of the most common reasons. Sometimes feelings just give you a sample of something, but you don't know enough or have experienced enough for your brain to make a decision about how it should feel. As to why there's a unique feeling, I want to look into that a bit more. Brain getting mixed signals so it makes something up? A strange mixture of different feelings combining into one new unique feeling? I feel like I would have to look more into how the chemicals in the brain interact with each other to make emotions as well and that's something that'll require reading multiple books on to just get a general idea. Neurology be confusing. Whatever the case, I'm still going to enjoy trying out different avatars and see how my emotions react to them. As long as it's not a friend's avatar, because when that happens my brain is like "but wait, this is my friends avatar, but I'm not them, WHAT IS HAPPENING!?" and makes my emotions all weirded out. Similarly, same thing happens if someone uses the purple rikkor around me. I'm the only one that uses the purple rikkor so my brain gets freaked out when someone else uses it. So I basically have to try out avatars I haven't seen people using for a long period of time. (all while being teased by my closest friends for testing things with phantom sense for whatever avatar it is)
@@keeshuunedited5678 I was quite vague in my original comment. Apologies. I'm probably still going to be a bit vague due to my personality and the way I don't want to reveal to much of me online. My YT avatar probably doesn't show this, but I largely use VRChat to hang out with furries. In the short time in playing, the public avatars I'm most comfortable in playing are "generic crows", Nardoragons & avali's. Largely the thing I like doing is giving avatars headpats or being patted, and so each of these species give that feel in each way. The Nardoragon I usually pick is more a comfy avatar than anything and the phys bones are fun to play with. The Avali's are just small and so I either get headpatted or do other forms of safe-for-everyone virtual massages (legs, feet etc.). Picking this Kobodal dragon could be related to some personal history; I did have a dragon-sona during Uni and always liked dragons. But going in to a virtual world with a vr friend on a whim and wasn't seeking this out myself, when I first put on this avatar I behaved very differently. Usually I might look at myself for a moment, and then move on, but this one I couldn't stop grooming myself, playing with the ears, hair and hands. The shader had made the avatar glow and made the skin and scales shiny. I didn't get phantom touch, but it did feel nice. Usually I would only play VRC on set days but I spent each night for the next couple of nights after that first encounter in VRC for 30 minutes just to be this avatar alone in different worlds. My vr friend on that first encounter last week described it as finding an avatar that suits you best. Today, I showed the avatar off with other trusted users, who described it as "finding you in the sea of public avatars." I'm not fully convinced of that; largely due to the fact that our gazes and biases can cloud our senses of identity, and I'm not sure how the avatar could be seen has harmful or unhelpful. Maybe I'm overthinking it.
@@Joshlama Honestly just sounds like a case of your emotions liking the unique little things about the avatar in just the right way. So maybe it is overthinking it and it happens to everyone that is in VR chat long enough. I mean, there's a reason why people love joking about VRChat being mirror simulator after all. Just don't let it get to the point of being 5+hours like some people, and if the subconscious brain ever gets to the point of "This is what my body is supposed to be!" just take a little break from VR and get some sleep =p I was overthinking it too, I was thinking it was something else, but nah, super normally normal stuff. I enjoy overthinking things though :3 "Today, I showed the avatar off with other trusted users, who described it as "finding you in the sea of public avatars." I'm not fully convinced of that; largely due to the fact that our gazes and biases can cloud our senses of identity" I am a bit curious about what you mean here. Like you don't think it's possible/likely to find an avatar that fits you well? Or what you perceive/feel from an avatar is making you feel something that you are not? Or something else that I'm not thinking about? " I'm not sure how the avatar could be seen has harmful or unhelpful" I'm curious as to why you'd even think about it enough to bring it up that it could be harmful. Only way I could see that is if you start loving it so much that you start prioritizing the virtual life instead of real life. Which I have to get on a few people's cases about. Not as bad as alcoholism and other expensive habits that damage the body of course, but they still gotta get their life in order so their life doesn't stagnate/decay.
Near the end of your experience of you saying you feel so disassociated with being a guy, that's how I pretty much feel, or anyone who isn't out of the closet feels like everyday, its uncomfortable and dysphoric knowing that people won't treat you the way you'd want to be treated just because of your assigned gender, I know this is unrelated but I completely understood how you felt at the end saying that you feel like your pretending to be someone your not, which is what I do most of the time because I'm scared of telling my friends my identity, and being made fun of for it
> When have you looked down and not been you, never Dreams tho. In fact those dreams were always my favorite. Especially when my memories were different.
Every time she says sasuke guchiha i start laughing...even tho a sad or chill music is playing and she's like this character is a real character with thoughts and emotions...i'm laughing my ass off
Yo! I also have a 'Guy' account, and I use 'The doctor' voice on voice mod. But I don't really go through the body thing, or worry about it. Just saying 'dude' and 'bro' more makes people really think you are a dude. Usually if I'm talking to someone long enough I turn off voice mod and let them know I'm a chick. I made the account BECAUSE being a girl in VRChat can be annoying. I don't like people rushing to me because I am a girl, I don't like people pretending to be 'nice' to me because I'm a girl. I want people to actually connect to me as a person, and I feel like guys can have that. So yes it's a lie, but being a guy or a girl shouldn't matter if you are wanting to just talk and make friends. I was really excited to see someone else do this, I'm glad that you went through with it honestly. Good video all around!
Hiya, I'm a trans woman and the feeling you feel about Sasuke on day 4 when you're comfortable but it feels like you're lying is EXACTLY the feeling a trans individual feels in real life everyday when their body doesn't match their mind. You perfectly described it without really knowing. So VR Chat and now after medically transitioning as well, things line up and I can be myself and it's beautiful but yeah. I'm glad that through VR you kinda felt what it's like.
"first day I was seen as a creep'o and people left mid-conversation" It's not you being bad at acting as a dude, happens all the time...looks like day 3 confirms that, you're not bad at it at all. Day 4, being ignored all the time while others guys gets "territorial" (until you're deemed "not a threat") yup, totally normal day in "a dude who's a stranger" life. Pfft, that hard no that becomes a yes in your back...Yup, a normal day in "I'm a cute Egirl" life no matter if they got a boyfriend or not. xD Being in the oppisite side, wearing girl avatar beacause I was so tired of how badly people reacted to me as a guy, I can assure you that the dissossiation stays no matter how confident you are in your new persona. It's not always about gender, I for exemple act the exact same way I would normally but people's reactions are day and night. With a male voice TTS people were agressive if not vote-to-kick me as soon as I said hello, most of the time. As a girl-voice TTS? They makes a Siri joke then the day is back to headpats and being friendly. People's expactations plays A LOT in why some "keep the lie alive". Nowdays, around friends who knows I am sometimes told "please go back to the girl, it just feels wrong like if voice actors swapped places in middle of the show" so I just keep it even if it feels akward. I am myself, but the definition of "me" became this different to them... And around strangers I prefer to say "assume what you want, I'm fine you go by my avatar" because people's reaction to learning I'm a guy by my own words resulted more than once in said persons following me around telling I'm "a trap trying to make people gay" and other shit like this till I blocked them former good friends. Again, my catch phrase should be a dead give-away yet people prefer to believe in the lie they create in their head, so I just take the path of less drama and resistance. All that to say, you may have discovered another part of you, but it's still you. It's just that "because it's more socially acceptable to do these things as a guy" you had less self imposed pressure under that persona. Now try the experiment of acting the same way as yourself, you'll see that was not something so special but just that acting differently than how people expect you to is easier when you put on a mask. The problem is the price to pay when you remove said mask in front of people whose definition of "you" relies on it...I hope your new friends will be undertanding. Being a public figure may help a lot in that aspect, the whole "you're famous? That's awesome! And what a daring social experiment you did" side of it, even if you could just wanted to try just because why not. I wish you best of luck!
The fact that we can be anyone in VR Chat, is definitely right up my alley. I love playing as female in-game. But I know how you feel, Phia. After a few weeks, I felt comfortable and made friends.
Im genderfluid and tend to act sorta androgenous and act how I feel gender wise that day, it is humbling to have people interact with my eboy character and then I talk and sound sorta femme.. its funny to watch XD this entire video is so cool to watch though
Also want a voice-changer for VRChat & Discord? Use code "PHIABUNNY" fpr 5% off Voicemod:
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What avatar do you have with the bucket
I feel like we should do a reverse of this: I become a girl for a week. I absolutely love this concept.
YES.
YASSSS
Don’t most guys on VRChat do that anyway?
Sorry, had to 😅
PLEASE LOL
@@VRicken I was about to say it LOL
"Im getting so frustrated, why won't people talk to me?" - welcome to the life of an average guy
agreed
“Im getting so frustrated, why every guys are trying to slip into my dms” - an average girl
@@rinreborn7364 ye in virtual there is only 2 extremes the girls have to choose who they wanna talk to and who to not answer and guys just get ignored at all anyway sure the side wich can choose got the better in this one ^^ i mean u literly saying its frustraiting u that ppl want to talk to u and get to know u i cant see the problem with it us guys would like to have that "problem" of urs there
I was super skeptical when she claimed no one would talk to her seeing as her mic was muted at the time.
Video is poorly edited. Could have shown more actual conversation, less narration.
Also, speaking as a dude, I think the main problem guys encounter with being ignored is they're just not that interesting and they aren't doing anything to set themselves apart. Girls get hammered with messages online from thirsty dudes and if you want to stand out from that noise, you need to up your game.
@@Cubee4 I mean it’s hard, if 500 guys wanna talk to one girl she can’t talk to all 500 so ofc she’s gonna narrow it down to people she relates to the most.
Any girl who puts themselves in a guys shoes deserves respect, Norah was too good for this world, too pure
I feel like more women need the humbling experience of trying to socialize as a guy. xD It is so difficicult and awkward.
Rest in peace
@@crypticcorgi8280 I can tell you as a woman I am just as if not more awkward than most men.
@@BubbleBunnyy See the problem here, you're making it a YOU thing when there are million of people struggling. This video was to show how MEN struggle, you just showed that you don't care much about it.
Pervert women put themselves in the place of guys online and IRL to catfish perv on and assault women all of the time.
The hell makes you think this is something deserving of praise?
Really created a personality crisis for science. Great job as always, Phia.
3rd world problems if thats an actual "crisis" for someone just to be another gender in vr for some time.
Even funnier, not for science. Had a crisis for CONTENT.
@@baadlyrics8705”third world problems” are still problems it was generally interesting to see this reaction
Funny how u got the raw guy experience just being a weirdo and not knowing how to talk to strangers and feeling constantly out of place lol it's just how alot of guys r when they can't meet that masculine expectation
What's the masculine expectation? Genuine curiosity
@@cinemaspinbest way I could explain it in my experience is it's the unspoken expectation to have specific personality traits like being the "confident, reliable, and funny stand up guy", regardless of the context of that person's life experience. I feel like the video explains it really well, fail to have that mask and u will be ignored by alot of people. U will face a large unspoken rejection, I'm impressed Phia managed to get a handle on it later on but this is not something that applies to everyone. Many males fail or feel restricted, hence it's why I think alot of guys actually will lean on female Avis, it breaks down that barrier of needing to be held to that rule.
If u also think of popular Avi models in VRC, female Avis r much more diverse in body type and personality than guy Avis. I actually have a custom female Avi cuz I couldn't find a guy Avi that DIDNT have a 6 pack and just looked like a regular guy
@@gearturner9307 couldnt have said it better myself. Very intuitive
@@gearturner9307 legit perfect explanation
@@gearturner9307 Norah Vincent "Self-Made Man" is the real life version of this. Sadly she ended up killing herself and if Phia keeps going down this route...well...
To anyone interested I'd definitely suggest looking into a woman named Norah Vincent who is a writer who did a social experiment where she spent 18 months as a guy and by the end of it was miserable from the lie and seeing what men go through.
To quote her directly she said "I really like being a woman I like it more now because I think it's more of a privilege." and ultimately gained more sympathy for men and said "Men are suffering. They have different problems than women have but they don't have it better. They need our sympathy, they need our love, and they need each other more than anything else. They need to be together."
It's a pretty fascinating subject seeing the opposite gender be able to see what issues are had on the other side.
WOW thats amazing and so true... I make myself suffer so much tho its unreal lmao..
jus watched a video about it so glad u talked about this, and looking at interesting comments she was a feminist and yeah we defo need lovee
When most every guy has a phase of thinking about killing them selves you know its bad.
@@willcamick oh ya maane ikr ;'(
18 months? Woaaa! I couldn't handle two talks as a girl in textchat back in the days.. first it was funny, but then...
One thing I wondered about is in the early days of vrchat, when i wore male avatars no one really talked or interacted with me much, when i wore female avatars people were nicer and kinder, and typically more friendly. First time I also ever heard someone say they liked the sound of my voice. Also when i would be mute people seemed to be the kindest and nicest, but then once they heard I'm a guy, their interest and kindness goes way down.
Ive had the opposite experience 😢 hope ur ok
That's something WoW players took advantage of ages ago. They realised people were more helpful and kinder, and started using female avatars.
I think you’re just boring bro. I can talk to people regardless of the avatar I wear
It is proven that people are on average nicer to women regardless of their gender
I’m new to vrchat and when I picked a female model I got harassed immediately. I changed to a male model just so people would leave me alone. 😢
It was absolutely amazing working with you for this!
The whole video was so well executed and the fact that no one clicked onto it until you told them shows just how convincing it really was.
Thank you again so much! :D
Couldn't have done this without your/voicemod's help!! owe you a ton!!
@@TheVirtualRealityShow you could try a follow on experiment where you stick with a (different) female avatar. e.g. some generic anime type but keep the male voice mod and the assumed identity. See how that goes. Another to try would be being something like a hotdog or other random non-human thing/being, again, keep the voice/identity.
I’m actually amazed you got Voicemod to work so well. I’ve been trying to go the other way around and I always get a robotic sounding voice no matter what voice I try.
They were a big help in setting it up- I was totally surprised too! Seems that with some experimenting and fine-tuning you can really pull off a lot.
It may be because you're using the old pitch slider. They recently made a new option called PowerPitch that sounds way more natural
Trans woman, and I have been using online to help cope with my dysphoria for years now while not able to do much otherwise. Little tips is don't rely on the voice changer so much. Practice your voice and learn the difference between pitch and weight. The voice changer is just used to help tune your voice to be more convincing. Try to avoid clichés aswell, just talk like you would normally but swap genders.
Not a bad voice morph, usually what people do wrong with a morph is just pitch shifting and not timbre formant shifting. For best results I'd use a voice morph that allows control of both formant and pitch shift adjusting for the most natural sound. I don't troll with voice morphs just mostly use for vocal tracks and acting. Looks like an enlightening experience just hope people don't play with others hearts.
@@williamperkins4279 so which one allows both?
This video made me realize that some things guys experience isn’t just normal. I don’t even use eboy models and all these things happen all the time. I’ve become so used to people just walking away that this video was a reality check.
Thanks I needed that. I wondered why people walked away from me, I felt insecure if I wasn't good looking enough or charismatic enough. Now I know most average guys have the same experience so I feel normal I guess. Doesn't mean I want it to be this way :/
This was a very cool concept to see what it’s like to be a guy within VRChat. It really puts a perspective on how some dudes feel/act within VRChat. As a dude, I had plenty of experiences like you experienced and it’s super cool that you used a tool to completely hide your voice. This video for sure will get you somewhere, I can feel it!
HA! Take THAT Girls of VRChat! Now you know how the lads feel surrpounded by Gaifu's!
"Gaifu's" IM DEAD
@@TheVirtualRealityShow 💀
@@TheVirtualRealityShow would be great if you were
wats gaifus?
@@Poetry4Peace dudes in real life wearing anime girl avatars in VR
In a game where you can literally be anything, from a pop cat to a bagel, there are still some very ingrained and strict gender norms at play. There are parts of VRC that are safe and welcoming for trans and non binary peeps, but there is also this space where if your voice or mannerisms don't match the eboy or egirl you're piloting, people lose their fricking minds. As someone who doesn't quite fit the binary in real life, it was actually difficult to find an avatar in VRC that felt "right" for me and how I wanted to express my gender identity in VR. So difficult, that I ended up just making one for myself. This of course doesn't mean that eboys and egirls don't have their place. I recognise how important some avatars are, especially for a trans person who might be dealing with gender dysphoria and how life saving VR can be. I also think VR is becoming this wonderful space where people can find joy in expressing themselves; regardless of what gender they might identify as in real life, and in ways that might not be possible due to cultural and social expectations. It is my hope that social games like VRC will continue to become a space where we not only gain a better understanding of other people and their lived experiences but where we are also given the opportunity to discover more about ourselves.
Yeah. I feel like a lot of people look over the gender norms when talking about VRChat. It is VERY much a thing, something that's harder to escape than even real life.
This is why the avatar I main is Yubel from Yugioh GX, lol
You mean the fact that half of VRChat regulars want to look like scantily clad anime e-girls with collars, prominent cleavage and huge nails?
perhaps because gender is a part of being human and not just some arbitrary made up idea
I always have this identity crisis when i pick out avatars in vrchat. There are either super masc males, or over sexualized females, and it gets really difficult to find a good avatar that is neither.
This reminds me a lot of a book I read in college, "Self-Made Man" - basically a lady tries your same experiment, but like 20+ years ago and IRL. It's a good read; she talks about some of the same mind-trips you do here.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-Made_Man_(book)
that same lady killed herself btw
@@crapool4486 that is interesting.. and sad too.. It appears she chose volunary assisted death because of chronic depression? It appears she spent a lot of mental energy dealving to the subject of depression and mental illness.. I suspect these were contributory. I have seen many people whom become what the spend the most thinking about.
@@manp1039 yeah it’s very unfortunate
@@crapool4486 That's because men go through this everyday. It's really interesting because this in VR, but it still applies.
I appreciate how you are pushing the boundaries of how people think about VR and what's possible, not just technologically, but socially. This was very well done, like all your videos, and you being so candid about how you felt is a big part of that.
The industrial revolution and its consequences
As a trans person, watching you experience this experiment was extremely fascinating. It's interesting to hear you refer to your presentation as a guy as a "lie" and how you dissociated once you became "comfortable with the lie" because that's how I feel IRL when I'm not presenting my preferred gender. However, when I'm in VRChat and I can inhabit the body of my preferred gender; it's incredibly validating and comfortable and my brain just clicks into being confident and happy and my dysphoria vanishes. VRChat is a incredibly validating tool and it's built my confidence and conviction up a lot towards my IRL transition progress.
It's also interesting to see other people experiment with the gender they're not and get a taste of that dissociative feeling that trans people feel every day. Phia, I think what you felt was a taste of dypshoria; and that's a really eye opening experience. It also gives credit that dysphoria is a valid and real sensation that anyone can feel.
this but rec room. i mostly just find this funny because if i were to do something like this, i would feel the exact opposite and its kinda funny to compare what i feel to what she does, even if dysphoria isnt the same for everybody
This.
I live my life and everything feels like a lie, and I don't have the luxury of being able to come out of that lie hearing her experience living in a gender not of her own resonated with me so well because that's the only thing I can experience be it out of safety or just a fear of being judged
Some things are better not to
This aspect of vrchat is so interesting to me. I am a Trans guy, not out in real life and feel miserable everyday. But when going into vrchat where all my friends know me as louca as a guy, I dont feel like I'm lying about my identity I just feel like I'm being myself, I feel more comfortable. It sucks when I start speaking though people immediately start doubting my gender identity
I get told I sound like 12 lmao
I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you're able to move out soon if necessary or start a new life as out of the closet. Homophobia and transphobia really sucks
Congrats you two! Being a couple while also both being independent UA-camrs and cross-promoting each other's content is probably quite a challenge, but I for sure wish you two the best! You're my favorite VR UA-camrs 🥰
Yeah its good to see that
Wholesome ending
This is a great video, I always wondered what it would be like seeing the world from the other side of gender. I wouldn’t be surprised if you could make an entire video series on Virtual perception and how it influences people in VR. Not just gender identity but several different inputs
Go outside
@@walterrising4276 I do, often.
@@walterrising4276 Touch grass.
I love how vr gives us an opportunity to see the world from different perspectives in a very personal and intimate way
next time: "I spent a week as a bird, it resulted in a lot of out of bound exploration"
I find it interesting that one would dissociate after only a couple days as the wrong gender. Being a trans woman has been difficult for me in many ways. And it is odd to see a cisgender person getting to see a small piece of it. Experiencing how easy it is to hide ones gender in social situations. And how potentially distressing it might be to do that long term.
It isn't a comfortable thing to hide ones genuine self, and I think if more people understood that, they would be more kind when people come out as transgender.
I'm a guy who likes to role play as a girl in online games, not because I feel like a girl but because I like girls and seeing my character as a girl makes me happy. I completely behave as a girl in those games so people just asssume I'm a girl. If someone asks if I'm a girl I'm like nah man I'm a guy, and everyone completely accepts that. I've made very long lasting friendships in those games.
@@FAQUERETERMAX "it makes me happy to see my character as a girl." Is a common experience with feminine transgender people. A lot of roll play centered games are designed for you to experience things as your character. So depending on the game and how you play this could be an example of gender euphoria. Which isn't entirely unusual for people who identify as men. Society doesn't give men a lot of space to express their feminine side, so having an outlet for that often feels nice.
@@tentative_flora2690 I choose female characters over male characters whenever I get the chance. I don't identify with them, same as people who play a game where you become shark act as a shark but don't convince themselves the shark IS them. I imagine transgender people like to imagine themselves as that girl character which is fine too. Everyone should be able to express themselves and experiment different things
@@FAQUERETERMAX bro same with me but vise versa I feel exactly how you do
I think you might underestimate how much most people hide about themselves.
I'm a trans guy and you have no idea how jealous this made me lol. I've tried the free voicemod ftm voice changer and it literally just makes the voice deeper so it just sounds like a girl with an unnaturally deep voice and it sucks. Your voice was so good! Seriously, how did you do it? I need that juice girl! I'm trying to be a UA-camr and live streamer and this would help SO MUCH on really dysphoric days until I can get voice training and or hormones.
If you watched the video then buy the sponsored product because that’s how she was able to do it. Duh.
@@abeautifulrose Yeah I bought it but I still have no idea how to make a convincing voice and there's no tutorials so yeah
@@3v1l73ddy trying to do female voice lol to hard
@@3v1l73ddy pretty sure it's a mix of actually deepening your own voice and using the voicemod, pay around with it.
Same bro. I think practicing your resonance would help
"changing gender roles is a fun game all on its own" welp, time to convince my partner to do something lol
I feel like convincing them is either going to be stupidly easy or extremely difficult based on how comfortable he or she feels. Like... If you asked a guy who is comfortable with who he is he will gladly change roles. But if you ask some guy who needs to be seen manly to feel good about themselves it will be impossible to get them to act girly for any reason
...welp
Thats gonna end up on the crossdressing side of youtube
Phia this was an awesome vid! As a trans person hearing your initial reaction to socializing as a guy was so interesting. I'm a trans man (guy assigned female at birth) and it reminded me of how I felt when I was successfully socializing with people as a girl. It felt nice to be accepted but I felt like I was lying and it put distance between me and others. Your feeling of dissociation kind of sounded like dysphoric dissociation though probably not exactly the same thing. Anyone ultimately I could never become comfortable interacting as a girl but I'm glad you were able to enjoy being both a girl and a boy :)
You werent assigned anything at birth. Youre a female. You will be female for your entire life. Making you either a girl or a woman.
Anything else is psychological delusion. You anxiety issue around socialising is entirely normal and means nothing about your gender.
I'm sending you all my support ! I'm a transgirl and so yeah yeah exactly, it's very...strange, hard and uncomfortable at first.. I mean, Phia didn't had any problem with her body or her voice ( wich is almost the whole problem for us ) but it's interesting to see how people react, and in her case yeah it felt weird for her, but the other people had no idea and so wasn't bothered at all. I wish we will see the world and people like this, and that it is true, we're probably the most embarrassed haha.
I feel like I said total non-sense so just ; I feel you, be brave and be happy everyday ! 🏳️⚧️🧁✨
@@Enyl_Strayno it made sense haha and thank you!! same to you :)
@@Enyl_Stray "as a retard"
Tldr
Watching Phia get a taste of dysphoria was very interesting and validating. Dysphoria is an extremely difficult sensation to describe to people and a lot of people seem to think that it's not real; but as Phia has shown, cis people can experience dissociation and dysphoria too if they really try to inhabit the gender they aren't.
Hi Phia, I'm a profession Dungeon Master for Dungeons & Dragons. I've spent over 4000 hours of session time being every single NPC every player has ever talked to. I've been the horrible villains, the homeless waif, the rich noble, the crazy cultist, the evil dragon... the good dragon... I've been character that were beloved, and characters that were despised by the players. I poured a part of my soul into each one, tried to imagine life as each one, what they want and what they feel. I know what you are feeling when you talk about disassociation. It can be uncomfortable, but as a Dungeon Master I'm creating worlds for my players-- I'm not lying about who I am-- if you enjoyed being someone else, and want to do it in a way that is fun and honest, try being a DM for a roleplaying game. :)
Dope
As a cis guy who plays as a girl in every game possible, including VR games, this was a super interesting video to me. It's always felt natural to me in the same way being a guy in real life has, although if asked about my gender I do always immediately say I'm male so that I'm not lying about it (obviously that would defeat the purpose of this experiment though). I've found playing as a woman in any online game to be way more freeing; while there are definitely some creeps, overall it's way easier to fit in and talk to people because so often when people see a guy the immediate reaction is some level of concern or fear that they're a creep (mainly when interacting with women). Basically I've found it way, way easier to have positive interactions when playing as a girl.
you may want to check out r/egg_irl
I had a similar experience before my egg cracked.
@@stormlord6549 Wouldn't be the first time lol, though it's amusing to me since when I first started doing this it was purely for sexual attraction reasons and later became the norm ("why play as a guy when I can watch a cute girl on my screen instead?"). The idea of being a woman irl does not appeal to me, but in a virtual space it's fun to explore the other side in a temporary way.
@@BlueSparxLPs that's a really interesting experience! It really goes to show how arbitrary the current notions of gender are. It's all fluid and weird. I love it.
no cis
@@MehdiMessani ?
Honestly I really like this experiment, it’s something I never thought about while playing VRchat, especially when my avatar is a girl. I’m not trans and I don’t have gender dysphoria of any kind, I’m just a guy that likes stereotypically girly stuff so it just felt immediately natural to me to play a girl avatar. I keep my voice and mannerisms the exact same but just the feeling of being able to look at my hands or see myself in the mirror, as small and even to me as strange as it is, it genuinely made me really happy and while I’m perfectly happy and comfortable with my gender and irl body, it just feels like when I’m able to see my avatar it’s like it allows me to do things or have an appearance that my irl self can’t. I don’t know if it’s the same concept but even though I keep my mannerisms the same I do notice that while I’m usually very quiet and almost hide in a corner persay irl, I’m a lot more outgoing and happily willing to start conversations with people but I’m not sure if that’s due to my avatar feeling more natural to me than my irl self or if it’s due to something else entirely
This makes me think of that female writer who spent 18 months passing as a man (she wront "Self-Made Man"). Sadly she couldn't get over the trauma and took her own life. 😔
*Being male is hard.*
As a male myself I have experienced a lot of man hate from people when they find out I am a guy IRL, Like for example I was on a forum once but didn't have a gender selected in my profile and people was very nice and friendly and then later on when I went back and filled out my bio and selected male as my gender everyone's attitude changed and they started treating me like trash and they would even go as far as deleting my posts or muting me when I never had any problems before. they singled me out and eventually banned me. man hate is a real thing guys experience all the time, not just online but in real life also
What kind of forum is that? It sounds so sexist
@@am-ir2bxMen can't experience sexism
@@chaosXP3RTis male a sex? Yes. Can you discriminate based on a sex? Yes. Is discrimination based on sex sexism? Yes. That’s all you need to know. And if you bring up the power thing.
Do you think that homeless man people assume is a drugged out rapist when all he did was get financially destroyed by his cheating wife thinks of himself as having power for being a male?
I bet they wish they were a female like their ex wife was and got to keep living a normal life for being one like she did 🤷🏾♂️. I’m hoping your comment was sarcastic lol
@@SheikAshiiUsing “males” and “females” as a noun 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
@@super8bitable how else am I suppose to say XY chromosome adult mammal of the human species? If I just said man, it could have meant the same thing but it also could have meant an XX chromosome adult mammal of the same species that decided they want to switch sides 48 hours ago sooo… to avoid confusion, I’ll use that. You’re allowed to think it’s a red flag too though I’m not stopping you.
Sex and gender are different and this is a sex problem 🤷♂️. We are strictly talking about male men and female women…at least I think
Crazy cuz you just stumbled kinda into the life of a closeted trans person. That feeling of lying to ppl was a harsh reality for me personally before I came out.
Very cool video and take on something like this, enjoyed it alot.
To all my closeted trans folk your valid and loved. 😎👍🏾
Its not bad for lying because you need to protect yourself
I felt the same way, it's wild huh
@@allyma3 oh for sure!
I absolutely love this. Midway through the video I just felt very validated in how a lot of your thoughts on the experiment are just an extension of the trans experience. Things like being disassociated, looking down and not being "you", starting to feel comfortable in your virtual skin after a while etc. Its really sombering!
I was so excited for this video when you were talking about it on stream, loved hearing your thoughts then so I can't wait to watch this video to get really into it.
Edit: Ayy nice sponsorship pog!
This video is definitely a good surface level look at the idea of gender being more of a social construct than anything else. Baby steps like this are what I think the world needs when going forward into a more accepting, and open society. Loved the video, keep up to good work!
TF ?? You mean LESS of a social construct than anything else ?
Umm really? The world isn't going to a more accepting and open place, it's going to be quite the opposite. The USA, which is the one exporting all this extreme Liberalism, is an empire in decline and the unipolar world is coming to an end. Other countries like China, Russia, and Even Africa are going to gain more prominence on the global stage and begin exporting their culture and beliefs. One thing I can guarantee is that theirs will not be as open and accepting as the USA has been. Our future isn't Star trek, it's mad max.
This proves gender is not a "social construct" its an integral aspect of being human.
please explain your point, i want to understand how this video can be a proof that gender is a social construct
@@miroslavbulldosex I know this is like a month late, but I only just saw this and figured it was still worth answering. Basically what I mean is that gender is not defined by the parts of our body, but rather a way for us to represent ourselves in society.
It's rough out there sometimes when you're a guy, but there are always ways to manage. Just gotta keep your head up and remember that some people simply aren't worth your emotional energy.
The fact phia never knew about that previously means that just because she was a girl she never once ran into that problem in her entire life.... And it makes me sad knowing men are treated this way just for being men... And then women get away with pretty much anything as long as they are cute
Or stop being gay and actually have a life
@@carlinataylor93 nobody cares
@@walterrising4276 i do
@@walterrising4276 exactly
Grats on you for doing this, especially as a cis person. You didn't have to open yourself up to gender stress but you did anyway and that's admirable. It's a great test of both dysphoria and sexism. A lot of people aren't capable of talking about this without turning it into misogyny, but automatic hatred/distrust of men and automatic favoring/trust towards women is definitely real. I'm a trans guy, I grew up 22 years living as female, and when I socially transitioned, the entire world got cold towards me. At first I was happy I was no longer getting unwanted creepy and patronizing attention, but I also lost out on a lot of normal positive attention too. There is a healthy middle ground that neither men nor women are allowed to stand on. We should be working towards that. As they say, don't judge a book by its cover. People are people first, men and women second.
This comment. Yes.
(also hiiii fellow trans person!!!)
@@snjert8406 Hello :D
OK, but working towards -- how? There has to be a theory. There has to be a picture of what that means. There has to be a strategy. Something intelligible and practicable, and in a way that is accessible to the motivation circuits of public engagement. Otherwise, we're just hoping and praying like guns-rights advocates whenever there's a school shooting.
Kinda feels like you skirted around the casual misandry present in men's daily lives. But I appreciate the sentiment all the same.
@@LionKimbro well, I mean, if you've consise plan to unravel gender roles that were built over thousands of years and have immense social momentum behind them I'm all ears.
For me I'm just working on creating safe spaces for people who don't fit neatly into societal expectations and exposing other people to expressions outside the accepted bubble as well.
It's interesting cuz some of the stuff you described feeling was actually stuff I used to feel as a trans person before I came out. Heavy dissociation from my body, a feeling like I was lying to people around me, and especially guilt any time I connected with a new person because I felt like they were becoming friends with a version of me that wasn't really "real". A woman, someone by another name, someone who I was only very good at pretending to be. That's a lot of what dysphoria felt like to me, because I distanced myself enough from my body that it didn't affect me anymore. But I just felt so bad that I was "fooling" people into being my friend. Of course in the end, I didn't really change as a person when I came out and my friends didn't feel betrayed, so that was a nice thing that doesn't always get to happen for trans people. But it's kind of crazy that you experienced the same thing in the opposite direction!! It's maybe the closest way a cis person can experience dysphoria so I'm glad it was only temporary for you 😅
You did a good job role playing him, found the soul of the character you were playing. I also love that you used majora mask day tracker it's amazing.
11:27 I'm a girl who usually makes male characters in mmos. I've watched thirsty dudes give my guy friends (using female characters) tons of free expensive gear, help them level, spam friend requests...
"I'm starting to get oddly comfortable with lying... And being someone I'm not..."
~Welcome to VRChat.
Now you at least know how different people get treated based on gender alone
Good video, as a trans woman still mid-transition, one of the biggest reasons I'm saving up for an Index at the moment is to be able to play around with this kind of expression, ESPECIALLY because I am competent enough with Blender to make my own personal models.
the 3 girls that said u gaslight say hi
hi 3 girls who said i gaslight, thanks for making my video intro a banger
This has been me for the entire time I've been a VRChat user. Yumi came into being on 14th Jan 2019 and I always use this avatar. I'm a straight, 53 year old male. I often get asked if I'm trans but I'm not. I don't lie to anyone. I am a smol anime fox girl 'trap'. It's hilarious when I do the real voice reveal and no, I don't use Voicemod. But Yumi is Yumi. She's not me but she also is. And as a mental health supporter, people warm to her and open up to her much more easily than they might to with an old man. I'm very comfortable with my dual personality. Everyone should experiment with it. It's said that you can't know someone unless you've walked a mile in their shoes. How about walking a hundred miles in their body?
Hi! New VRChat user here, and I found the cheat code. If you can do a passable German accent, just go and grab a TF2 Medic avatar and head to a 2Fort server, and just hard RP the medic. Everyone will literally flock around you to the point where it can become overwhelming.
i just wanna note that one of my friends uses one of the models u used as his main for a long ass time and i always make fun of him for it bc the name of the avi is "bucket" (short for bucket hat) and the moment i saw it i immediately was like "OMG BUCKET MY FAVORITE BOI!!!!" i love both my friend and the avatar for that reason and that reason only.
4:50 Him roasting your eboy avatar when I've seen that eboy avatar several times over the weekend myself... Great video Phia.
One of the things I really hate about being a guy is that people who don't know you will literally see you as a potential threat by default. Sadly we live in a world where people just have no choice but be on their toes when you, a stranger guy is trying to approach them to strike up a conversation, or coincidentally walking in the same direction as someone else in a dark alley. I hate the real predators and the scumbags who made this a reality. And if you are in a heteronormative relationship, be your partner whatever gender, if you are the one perceived as the traditionally masculine one, and something's going down, an argument, whatever, it is just "probably your fault" or that you are the aggressor anyways and if there was a victim in that situation, it's your partner and it can never be you. I am a transguy by the way and I started coming out and transitioning at 21, so I have had my share of experiencing the world through female presenting people's eyes as well and over all, I feel like if everyone else had to spend some time (couple years) living as their opposite gender as well, and I mean by truly immersing themselves just like how Phia did in this video, the world would be much more empathetic and perhaps we could finally tear the beast that is the social constructed genders down for good and start treating people as individuals and not as the so-called-gender that they intentionally or unintentionally represent.
4:04 - Nah, that's what I expect would happen to me too. As a man. Just naturally awkward and anxious; not needing to swap genders to not know how to interact with people naturally.
- I feel that the experience of people finding you creepy is the most accurate aspect of the experience of being a male.
Haha. Unable to find friends and people laugh at you. Accurate experience of being male.
I, (14 male), got an oculus about nine months ago. I made an alt account that has a girl name. For the past nine months I have pretended to be a female in vr. I have let it go so far I actually don’t know how to stop it without breaking many hearts. Please give me advice.
Edit: I don’t use a voice changer, I have a natural voice.
Y'know, Ive "pretended" to be a girl in mmo games ever since I was a young teenager, and I do feel guilty I was lying to friends I've made online.
It felt more natural to me being percieved as female, and I just never corrected any of my online friends.
If the feeling of lying to them gets worse and worse as time goes on, you can just come out to them 1 on 1 privately, and maybe some of them would totally understand. Real friends forgive and stick around.
I never did that though. Because I learned I actually am a trans girl eventually and being a girl online was not a lie, but my truth.
@@Squigi Thank you for your input. I appreciate it more than you know! 😇
Bro everyone on vr thinks I’m a boy but I’m a girl on vr 😭
It's the deep voice struggle! I feel you! 😢
Talk about rough... I'm terribly sorry that's happened to you.
I don't know what I was expecting, but I definitely did not expect to see a lot of aspects of being trans...
The dissociation, identity crises, feeling like you're lying, feeling like what people like of you is not *you*. I felt all this back when I was in the closet, and I still do. (Luckily I have some amazing friends who immediately accepted the "new" real me.)
Looking into a mirror and seeing someone that is supposedly you, but doesn't feel like the real you is... well lets stop that sentence there.
This was an amazing video and it was very interesting to see someone else's perspective of being someone else, and I'll probably refer to it when someone asks me what it's like "being trans".
I totally felt the same way!
I'm a trans-woman, and going into VR has been life changing for me, i just choose not to talk because of my voice (VoiceMod should work on quest 2!) But your feeling of disassociation is similar to how I feel in real life instead of VR, mine is just the opposite of yours.
I get what you want to say with what you said about your disassociation is the opposite of hers, but how could you know that her experiment in an imaginary environment is the same as your experience in real-life? Isn't there a fundamental difference between a virtual avantar and a body that experience life with all its senses?
Edit: I forgot to add experience, see comment below.
Oh, I didn't want to say that you do an experiment in real life, I meant to say experience.
Nobody gives a shit about any regular man unless you are exceptionally social and funny.
VRchat is a reminder of that
As a trans girl I have experienced a lot of this first hand, obviously in reverse but the differences of how you are treated is clear. I always hated being treated as a guy. I didn't know how to make friends like that, it seems hard.
"i didnt know how to make friends like that"
That is entirely in your head. You let the way other people treat you make you believe there was something wrong with you and feel like you had to change to be happy. You are the boy you have always been, you'vr just convinced yourself that you're happier pretending you a girl whe you could have just been the exact same person as you are now, without having to lie to yourself.
There was something about yourself you were unhappy about and rather than facing ot you put on a mask that allows you to ignore it. but it will always be there, eating away at you until you address whatever it actually is.
@@ge2719 So you've just gone through the comments section spamming hateful shit at random trans people? Please grow up.
@@ge2719 Can you not G E?
@Sasha Lemay wow what an obnoxious prick you are.
I'll do whatever i want thanks. I'll continue to try to help people, you can fart out meaningless false niceties and garbage platitudes if you like. but don't try to tell me what to do with a smug "thank you in advance for being reasonable".
you're not a good person. you're a abuser who puts on a smile and pats them self on the back. you'll reinforce peoples psychological issues and think you're helping them, but you might as well be stabbing them with a thousand cuts that you think is "being nice", like a sociopath you dont really care about others, you care about being seen as good. Put a few more smiley faces after your disgusting comment, it doesn't change the fact youre a terrible person.
@@ghosty0738 you people sure like to tell people what to do dont you. Sorry but yeah, i'm going to continue to tell people the truth and tell them they don't have to change, that they can accept themselves for who they are and will always be, and they can change their character to be whatever person they want. Sex is completely irrelevant, no one should feel happy or sad based on the reality of what the atoms in their body make their sex.
Can you stop defending those who will push this ideological nonsense that is causing people to harm themselves? can you do that? You dont have to, you can do whatever you want. but one day youre going to look back at this like we look at lobotomies now, as barbaric. how we look back on shock treatment, and conversion therapy. No one is born in the wrong body. to convince someone their body is "wrong" is disgusting. But you do you.
sasuke gucciha is both one of the hardest names ever and the corniest things I've ever heard
Totally the vibe I was going for, thanks 😂
I could never do this for the simple fact that I can’t wear a female avatar without feeling a weird sort of disgust towards myself, and the thought that always comes to mind is “this isn’t me”. A lot of the time I feel more comfortable with the body of a machine than that of a human
but thats the thing about vr chat... you can be yourself... and this "you" doesnt have to be like you irl at all. keep in mind many of the people that are "real" just wear a mask while they are in irl... because they wouldnt be accepted the way they are... your a girl irl but hate it? just be a male online! why is this version of "you" less you then you actually are. yes you played a role in this experiment... but for those that play the role of for example a girl irl while feeling like a dude... thats the reality
"thats the reality"
Thats their delusion. Theres a difference.
Star meome believing they "feel lile a dude" is the result of incorrectly linking that thought to some form of self hatred. They do t like their body, TV ey are afraid of puberty, they have anxiety. Whatever it is, the human brain can link things when there is no real link. A girl who doesnt like the sound of her voice, being told that makes her trans, isnt real. Nearly every si gle person on the planet doesnt like to hear their owm voice heard back, its entirely normal, yet one lie combined with anxiety, in a moment of weak ess explaited by someome with an ideological motive, results in a psychologist cal delusion that can lead to them self harming. All based on lies.
The reality is all anyone can do is accept their sex, they cant change it, no one is born in the wrong body. All amyome can do is accept their sex and realise they can have whatever character they want, they can be a talkative, outgoing, dominant woman if they want. It doesnt make them a guy.
@@ge2719 shut up. you have no clue what you're talking about and are repeating things that people who are intentionally misleading you have said.
@@ge2719 But it just simply doesn't work like that. You can't feel like the opposite gender and just tell yourself "I should accept myself the way I am" and that'll make the feelings go away. Trust me, I've tried for a very long time, just hoping it's some phase I'll get over when I'm older. I try to forget about it. But like any issue you try to ignore, it won't just go away. Like you've said, I thought maybe I'm just a very masculine dominant woman. But why is when people see me as a man, it makes me happy? I never hated my body, I'm indifferent to it. But if I could look, sound, and encapsulate what makes a man I would be so much happier. My advice, just let people be what they want, if it makes them happier or maybe even saves their life, doesn't affect anyone else, then what's so wrong about it?
@@TheWackiestDemon where did i say ignoring it or wishing it to go away was the way to solve the issue?
I never said its easy. But if you think it can just go away be willing it to, its no wonder that didnt work.
Do you think anorexic people can just wish they weren't anorexic any more?
You cannot "be whattever you want"
You are a woman. Eople seeing you as a man makes you happy? Thats entirely psychological. Giventime i could find out why you feel happy when you get that response and it will more thab likely be linked to some deep issue you have. That doesnt mean you are a man. Other people making you feel happy is never a healthy basis for your identity.
Yoi are a dominant woman, thats fine. THAT is you "being whatever you want". Because you can have whatever character traits you want, yoi cant change you bioogy. No amount of hormones or surgery can do that, no matter howhappy you may think they make you feep they are yet another external stimulus sparking an emotional response that then controls your beliefs
You can be whatever woman you want to be, and you can be happy. But you cant just ignore your issues and just hope they will go away. And i dont k ow what to tell you because now it seems even psychologists will just tell you to start taking hormones as "treatment" and wont try to help you address your feelings at all and wont try to help you be happy with who you are, they will convince you that you will only be happy if you pretend to be something you arent.
The best thing you can do is detach your identity from your feelings and love yourself for who you are without even having to use the word man/woman.
@@TheWackiestDemon also your statement "if i could encapsulate what it is to be a man i would be happier". What does that even mean?
Thats entirepy your perception of what a "man" is. Likely an extremely stereotypical view of "men". And because you have a stereotypical view of what a "woman" is, you think you cant be those characteristics as a woman, so you think you need to be a "man".
But thats nonsense. You can be whatever you want, as a woman. List all the character traits you think men have and that you want to embody. There is nothing you can list that you cant be as a woman.
RIP that part where we were going to go ham as fellow eboys to my friends though.
RIP to what could have been 😭
Laughs in "I've been a girl in VRchat since I made my account"
This was interesting! Fun seeing how your experiences kinda mirrored mine, to some extent, trying to get into the community. I kinda stopped playing VRchat because of the Day 1 and Day 4 experience you described. VRchat was one of the places I kinda tried experimenting really hard with being *myself* and what I’ve mainly found is people like me much more when I pretend not to be. It’s just another place where I’ve gotta put on a mask if I want people to like me, and I’ve got enough of that in the real world.
This was certainly interesting. In normal games you can perform this same thing, but in VR Chat type systems it seems to be a more personal mirror of yourself. Voice changing is one thing, but movements (especially with full body trackers which I am so jealous of), attitude, etc. You aren't just typing or taking a moment to type, or even just voice changing in Discord/Teamspeak/Ventrillo/etc.
Honestly, I never thought of VR as a bastion for trans and other groups, but it really makes sense. On a non-super thoughtful watching, I always find it interesting when people become "guys" and see life is weirder/harder. Like the one person who went undercover as a guy in real life and found out that all the guys she hung out with bragged about and loved their wives and were hard workers. Even something like this where it's found out that just nobody cares to talk to you most of the time (even in real life), or are hyper aggressive until they get to know you. Heck, in real life you might have approached that girl and gotten maced by her. :p
But all in all, really, I'd be curious to see this same thing done in other VR communities. It also makes me curious about how LGBT folk handle VR in general. For those going for re-assignment surgery, VR could fill a gap in the processing and testing that is required. The social aspect, as a guy who is generally ignored in VR chat :p, never occurred to me that it could actually have honest therapy type situations.
This inspires me to explore my feminine side in VRChat. I get frustrated sometimes with trying to present in real life because of things beyond my control such as beard stubble, my voice, my hairline, my facial structure, etc. But VR is a whole other ballpark.
Honestly, I feel this was not explored close enough. This is a good expiroment on the deeply isolating and alienating social boundaries placed on men are. That we are just used to, which is just room temperature to us. I feel it is easier to take the cold shoulders and iffy posturing on just your mere presence, before you even say hi. When at the end of the day, it isn't your lived in experience. You can just take off the VR goggles and return to living a social life on relative easy mode. When that is in the back of your mind the whole time, that you can just "escape" this. But keep in mind, despite getting a taste of what it is like as a guy. You were still on a social application. That is the best case scenario for socializing in a male form. Meanwhile, guys put on the goggles to escape the reality of lowkey trying to sell people on being comfortable with thier presence.
There is this unfair rep all guys face to being judged by our worst examples.There are negative connotation to the masculine gender. Like all the half joking preconcieved notions these people had about you. (9:58) Or how that guy got "teritorial" around his gf. You have to navigate all these mountians of anxieties of your mere presences before you even get your foot into the door. It is a constant and endless up hill battle to be accepted. So guys take on female avatars to experience what it is like have a warm reception to your presence for once. To have people care about your emotions, ACTUALLY care about your well being and if you are having a good time. It is so spiritaully healing as a dude. That such a superficial change in our appearance can change so much of how people interact, how they treat you, or even choose to engage with you. We are placed into this box when we're born. It is all we know. But once we taste it, it is unmistakable on what we've been deprieved of all our lives. A box, a life sentence, that we can only find repreive from in VRchat.
Kinda feels like VRchat will always be that little more profound to guys for that reason.
Wow… I believe I actually met you randomly at one point as him… never knew
As a guy it’s always getting into fights/arguments in vr chat lmao
im non-binary and VRC was part of the reason i realized i wasnt cis. funnily enough it was because i was in an alphonse elric avatar and some people couldnt tell what gender i was due to my voice + the avi, so they referred to me as they/them and i was like "hol up that feels good..." so yippeee now im non-binary thanks VRC!! i wanna try and get my sister whos trans into VRC to help her feel gender euphoria
I see a lot of people saying they want to see the reverse of this video. Guy becomes girl. And then a swarm of people saying thats normal vrchat.... And the fact most guys would rather be seen as women really tells you a lot by itself about how society treats men and women so differently that almost unanimously by all men can agree women have it better socially just because there girls
Yeah, not even a surprise the "perfect escapism" for men is just to not be one. It even goes beyond that, I first started using girl avatar because I was tired of the difference of how people treated me compared with male avatar (path of less resistance, no gender identity exploration or escapism) but now friends tells me "please go back to your girl avatar, it feels weird" and some VRchat dudes even forgot I'm a man to the point they proposed to me...At this point, it's not just about escapism, people are just mad and have a hard time accepting the concept of male as soon as an opportunity arise to forget about it.
LOL what I had no idea it was you? hahahaha. I still got you on my friendslist from the day you joined Chroah and complimented my voice. You totally got me, Kudos to you I can't stop smiling, thank you for this!
It's like method acting, for me after playing a part it's like pull out apart of you. My hardest was playing a character that was opposite of my likes and personality. It took months to "fix" the thoughts and perceptions. I am glad I tried to be that character for musical and plays.
“Why won’t people talk to me?” God I’d love for people to not talk to me where do I sign up lmao
As a Trans Person i've been struggling with this alot. The Thing is my voice isnt convincing I Sound and act like a Girl.I am me and I am a Guy but I feel sad because evereyone thinks I am a Girl :/
hm... i am trans myself and yes i do know about the "sound problem" but personally i think its not really about the way you act... its more about the way you express what your saying... i noticed that myself a while ago... maybe talk with this with your closer friends and try to notice and remeber their speaking patterns
Welcome to the wonderful world of being a modern man. Would you like soul crushing societal expectations or absolutely destroying toxic masculinity and bullying today?
The current system ain't great, and you get called a pussy for trying to stand up to it. Also bonus emotional damage points depending on where you work and what atmosphere is built up by your coworkers. *Construction comes to mind.*
Welcome to the team! 😎👍🏳️🌈
There is nothing wrong with your voice.
You have YOUR voice.
You are a girl. Whatever characteristic it is you think that makes you a boy, you can be that as what you are, a girl.
Whatever it is you've read or been told about your voice is lies. Someone telling you that being happy about your voice makes you trans, is lying to you.
@@ge2719 Don't bully people. It's not cool
@@Draax17 telling someone they are them self, thats theres nothing wrong with them and they dont need to change to feel happy, and they can be whatever they want, is bullying?
you have been so manipulated about this that you are completely detached from reality.
OMG Never knew you and Thrill were a couple but have I thought about it before, how two Random VR Celebs could become a couple hahah Especially after seeing you guys travel to VR Conventions together. Kudos! Love you both.
Interesting topic. Not unique to VR, but VR significantly strengthens the effects.
First time I ever experienced this was when I wanted to go surprise a close friend with joke account on an old MMORPG. Thinking of ways to surprise them, I decided to make a female character since I never did that. So upon trying to level it up to get to my friend's level before I start chatting with my friend. People kept on showering me with compliments, and almost every guy I ran into was giving me free items. This just blew my mind when this happened.
Stuff like this would happen in future games. Usually by playing classes in games where you can only be one gender. Of course, even before video games, anyone that heard my voice on the phone always assumed I was a girl, so I do feel that people legitimately thought I was a girl whenever people thought I was a girl online.
I have not tried to be a girl in VR yet so maybe that'll be something to try for fun sometime. Though uh, a few people have mistaken me for a girl already anyways, sooooo might not be as big of a change as it would be for other people. I gotta get back into voice acting stuffs though so I can pull it off more easily. (Also while my voice is kinda soft now, it used to be soooo much softer and I miss it being super soft.)
Just being the avatar and your perception of what the avatar is can influence how you behave.
Here's some things other people or myself have noticed about when I use certain avatars since I'm incredibly sensitive to VR stuff. I don't generally use human avatars because for some reason a lot of them trigger the uncanny valley for me because my subconscious mind is like "this is human, but it doesn't look like human in real life, but we are in a world that acts like real world, something isn't right!". So I tend to use robots and furry avatars:
Protogens usually make me more energetic. Also I tend to smile a lot. Maybe because they are always smiling, or I just really like the way their face looks. I will say I've noticed that my face usually subconsciously tries to mimic whatever avatar I'm using.
Midnight Lycanroc or Hobkins make me be a bit more sassy
Rikkors (big fluffy bird things) usually make me more relaxed and calm. Of course, I'm generally a relaxed and calm person in general, all of these avatars just influence me to be a little different. So when I am the rikkor, I'm generally at my most calm/relaxed.
I'm sure there's other examples, but that's just off the top of my head and there's probably other things that happen that I'm not noticing.
First time I ever noticed myself doing things differently based on avatars was getting into a very pink avatar and it effected my emotions strongly and for some reason I felt like flirting which I never do. I don't think I ever had that strong of a change ever since, but I did find that very interesting.
So yeah, avatars can influence how you behave and such. I've also seen people go through changes of how they view their gender when they try using avatars of the opposite gender. However, for most people I attribute that more to them looking for a change, rather then letting the avatars influence them to come to that conclusion. Gotta remember correlation does not always equal causation after all.
Once again, don't need VR for this to happen but it makes it significantly stronger. I did say perception of an avatar for a reason because there are some studies about giving someone a white lab coat. One group of people being told they are scientists, the other half being told they are artists. Then they go about solving their problems in very different ways. So even if you have the same avatar as someone else, it could influence you in a different way than someone else.
I've taught people how to play video games enough to definitely know that people are very much influenced by how a character looks. It always amuses me when someone picks a character, fails with them, then picks "another characters' and does well. This other character being identical in gameplay because they are a skin. However, because the character seems more aggressive/defensive or whatever to fit how you are supposed to play the game made them play the way they are supposed to because they were trying to do what they perceive the character should be doing.
You seem to know more about how avatars play on the human psyche & the performativity of the avatars. While I haven't played Vr with a female avatar (nor do I want to), I've had a personal experience with an modified Kobodal dragon avatar which gave very different feelings compared to every other avatar and I have no idea what they mean.
@@Joshlama A little vague, but with information given and experiences I've had with other people, I just gotta say go explore those feelings in case they turn into something that might just interest you. I can see it going a few different ways, but that'd be the reply for all of the most common reasons. Sometimes feelings just give you a sample of something, but you don't know enough or have experienced enough for your brain to make a decision about how it should feel.
As to why there's a unique feeling, I want to look into that a bit more. Brain getting mixed signals so it makes something up? A strange mixture of different feelings combining into one new unique feeling? I feel like I would have to look more into how the chemicals in the brain interact with each other to make emotions as well and that's something that'll require reading multiple books on to just get a general idea. Neurology be confusing.
Whatever the case, I'm still going to enjoy trying out different avatars and see how my emotions react to them. As long as it's not a friend's avatar, because when that happens my brain is like "but wait, this is my friends avatar, but I'm not them, WHAT IS HAPPENING!?" and makes my emotions all weirded out. Similarly, same thing happens if someone uses the purple rikkor around me. I'm the only one that uses the purple rikkor so my brain gets freaked out when someone else uses it. So I basically have to try out avatars I haven't seen people using for a long period of time. (all while being teased by my closest friends for testing things with phantom sense for whatever avatar it is)
@@keeshuunedited5678 I was quite vague in my original comment. Apologies. I'm probably still going to be a bit vague due to my personality and the way I don't want to reveal to much of me online.
My YT avatar probably doesn't show this, but I largely use VRChat to hang out with furries. In the short time in playing, the public avatars I'm most comfortable in playing are "generic crows", Nardoragons & avali's. Largely the thing I like doing is giving avatars headpats or being patted, and so each of these species give that feel in each way. The Nardoragon I usually pick is more a comfy avatar than anything and the phys bones are fun to play with. The Avali's are just small and so I either get headpatted or do other forms of safe-for-everyone virtual massages (legs, feet etc.).
Picking this Kobodal dragon could be related to some personal history; I did have a dragon-sona during Uni and always liked dragons. But going in to a virtual world with a vr friend on a whim and wasn't seeking this out myself, when I first put on this avatar I behaved very differently. Usually I might look at myself for a moment, and then move on, but this one I couldn't stop grooming myself, playing with the ears, hair and hands. The shader had made the avatar glow and made the skin and scales shiny. I didn't get phantom touch, but it did feel nice. Usually I would only play VRC on set days but I spent each night for the next couple of nights after that first encounter in VRC for 30 minutes just to be this avatar alone in different worlds.
My vr friend on that first encounter last week described it as finding an avatar that suits you best. Today, I showed the avatar off with other trusted users, who described it as "finding you in the sea of public avatars." I'm not fully convinced of that; largely due to the fact that our gazes and biases can cloud our senses of identity, and I'm not sure how the avatar could be seen has harmful or unhelpful. Maybe I'm overthinking it.
@@Joshlama Honestly just sounds like a case of your emotions liking the unique little things about the avatar in just the right way. So maybe it is overthinking it and it happens to everyone that is in VR chat long enough. I mean, there's a reason why people love joking about VRChat being mirror simulator after all. Just don't let it get to the point of being 5+hours like some people, and if the subconscious brain ever gets to the point of "This is what my body is supposed to be!" just take a little break from VR and get some sleep =p
I was overthinking it too, I was thinking it was something else, but nah, super normally normal stuff. I enjoy overthinking things though :3
"Today, I showed the avatar off with other trusted users, who described it as "finding you in the sea of public avatars." I'm not fully convinced of that; largely due to the fact that our gazes and biases can cloud our senses of identity"
I am a bit curious about what you mean here. Like you don't think it's possible/likely to find an avatar that fits you well? Or what you perceive/feel from an avatar is making you feel something that you are not? Or something else that I'm not thinking about?
" I'm not sure how the avatar could be seen has harmful or unhelpful" I'm curious as to why you'd even think about it enough to bring it up that it could be harmful. Only way I could see that is if you start loving it so much that you start prioritizing the virtual life instead of real life. Which I have to get on a few people's cases about. Not as bad as alcoholism and other expensive habits that damage the body of course, but they still gotta get their life in order so their life doesn't stagnate/decay.
Near the end of your experience of you saying you feel so disassociated with being a guy, that's how I pretty much feel, or anyone who isn't out of the closet feels like everyday, its uncomfortable and dysphoric knowing that people won't treat you the way you'd want to be treated just because of your assigned gender, I know this is unrelated but I completely understood how you felt at the end saying that you feel like your pretending to be someone your not, which is what I do most of the time because I'm scared of telling my friends my identity, and being made fun of for it
this my favorite video from this channel its very interesting
This mulan reboot is crazy (in all seriousness this was a very interesting experiment)
8:52 the longer you wear a mask the harder it becomes to remember your own face.
Yes being a girl has a lot of perks on vr and irl
Dang, this is going to cause a massive wave of self-discovery. Awesome video! Glad you were able to see it through to the end.
> When have you looked down and not been you, never
Dreams tho. In fact those dreams were always my favorite. Especially when my memories were different.
Every time she says sasuke guchiha i start laughing...even tho a sad or chill music is playing and she's like this character is a real character with thoughts and emotions...i'm laughing my ass off
Yo! I also have a 'Guy' account, and I use 'The doctor' voice on voice mod. But I don't really go through the body thing, or worry about it. Just saying 'dude' and 'bro' more makes people really think you are a dude. Usually if I'm talking to someone long enough I turn off voice mod and let them know I'm a chick. I made the account BECAUSE being a girl in VRChat can be annoying. I don't like people rushing to me because I am a girl, I don't like people pretending to be 'nice' to me because I'm a girl. I want people to actually connect to me as a person, and I feel like guys can have that. So yes it's a lie, but being a guy or a girl shouldn't matter if you are wanting to just talk and make friends. I was really excited to see someone else do this, I'm glad that you went through with it honestly. Good video all around!
Hiya, I'm a trans woman and the feeling you feel about Sasuke on day 4 when you're comfortable but it feels like you're lying is EXACTLY the feeling a trans individual feels in real life everyday when their body doesn't match their mind. You perfectly described it without really knowing. So VR Chat and now after medically transitioning as well, things line up and I can be myself and it's beautiful but yeah. I'm glad that through VR you kinda felt what it's like.
Shout out to the .Hack Kite avatar! I see you!
Thanks! It took a while to find but it fits being Kite in VR doesn’t it?
@@kazeryu4834 It does! Hopefully one day we'll get an actual "World"
5:38 Haha a little spill over into Phia.
5:32 litterally me right there with any situation
I have noticed a lot of guys pretend to have a voice like Corpse Husband to get attention from girls lol.
god the cringe
This is one reason why so many guys use female avatars, people will straight up ignore male avatars and walk away from them
the production quality really improved !! i love it!
The coolest thing about you, is that you're pretty much like your avatar! So cool! So cute! (But after my wife, of course.)
"first day I was seen as a creep'o and people left mid-conversation"
It's not you being bad at acting as a dude, happens all the time...looks like day 3 confirms that, you're not bad at it at all.
Day 4, being ignored all the time while others guys gets "territorial" (until you're deemed "not a threat") yup, totally normal day in "a dude who's a stranger" life.
Pfft, that hard no that becomes a yes in your back...Yup, a normal day in "I'm a cute Egirl" life no matter if they got a boyfriend or not. xD
Being in the oppisite side, wearing girl avatar beacause I was so tired of how badly people reacted to me as a guy, I can assure you that the dissossiation stays no matter how confident you are in your new persona. It's not always about gender, I for exemple act the exact same way I would normally but people's reactions are day and night.
With a male voice TTS people were agressive if not vote-to-kick me as soon as I said hello, most of the time.
As a girl-voice TTS? They makes a Siri joke then the day is back to headpats and being friendly.
People's expactations plays A LOT in why some "keep the lie alive".
Nowdays, around friends who knows I am sometimes told "please go back to the girl, it just feels wrong like if voice actors swapped places in middle of the show" so I just keep it even if it feels akward. I am myself, but the definition of "me" became this different to them...
And around strangers I prefer to say "assume what you want, I'm fine you go by my avatar" because people's reaction to learning I'm a guy by my own words resulted more than once in said persons following me around telling I'm "a trap trying to make people gay" and other shit like this till I blocked them former good friends. Again, my catch phrase should be a dead give-away yet people prefer to believe in the lie they create in their head, so I just take the path of less drama and resistance.
All that to say, you may have discovered another part of you, but it's still you. It's just that "because it's more socially acceptable to do these things as a guy" you had less self imposed pressure under that persona. Now try the experiment of acting the same way as yourself, you'll see that was not something so special but just that acting differently than how people expect you to is easier when you put on a mask.
The problem is the price to pay when you remove said mask in front of people whose definition of "you" relies on it...I hope your new friends will be undertanding. Being a public figure may help a lot in that aspect, the whole "you're famous? That's awesome! And what a daring social experiment you did" side of it, even if you could just wanted to try just because why not. I wish you best of luck!
that momento i see "why dont talk to me " is my existence on IRL
this is by far the best vrc yt vid ive ever seen
The fact that we can be anyone in VR Chat, is definitely right up my alley. I love playing as female in-game. But I know how you feel, Phia. After a few weeks, I felt comfortable and made friends.
Looking forward to "I spent seven days as a FURRY in Vr"
Honestly, this isn't a bad idea. Keep an eye out now LOL.
🤨
I feel nothing but pride for causing half of the pictures PHIA showed of the Patreon meetups
Your evil plans have worked... LOL
This was definitely an interesting video, not gonna lie. Well done Phia, you nailed it!
Oh yeah, THIS part was hilarious XDDD 3:56
Im genderfluid and tend to act sorta androgenous and act how I feel gender wise that day, it is humbling to have people interact with my eboy character and then I talk and sound sorta femme.. its funny to watch XD
this entire video is so cool to watch though
The voice charger is kinda convincing