@@rinreborn7364 ye in virtual there is only 2 extremes the girls have to choose who they wanna talk to and who to not answer and guys just get ignored at all anyway sure the side wich can choose got the better in this one ^^ i mean u literly saying its frustraiting u that ppl want to talk to u and get to know u i cant see the problem with it us guys would like to have that "problem" of urs there
I was super skeptical when she claimed no one would talk to her seeing as her mic was muted at the time. Video is poorly edited. Could have shown more actual conversation, less narration. Also, speaking as a dude, I think the main problem guys encounter with being ignored is they're just not that interesting and they aren't doing anything to set themselves apart. Girls get hammered with messages online from thirsty dudes and if you want to stand out from that noise, you need to up your game.
@@Cubee4 I mean it’s hard, if 500 guys wanna talk to one girl she can’t talk to all 500 so ofc she’s gonna narrow it down to people she relates to the most.
@@BubbleBunnyy See the problem here, you're making it a YOU thing when there are million of people struggling. This video was to show how MEN struggle, you just showed that you don't care much about it.
Pervert women put themselves in the place of guys online and IRL to catfish perv on and assault women all of the time. The hell makes you think this is something deserving of praise?
It was absolutely amazing working with you for this! The whole video was so well executed and the fact that no one clicked onto it until you told them shows just how convincing it really was. Thank you again so much! :D
@@TheVirtualRealityShow you could try a follow on experiment where you stick with a (different) female avatar. e.g. some generic anime type but keep the male voice mod and the assumed identity. See how that goes. Another to try would be being something like a hotdog or other random non-human thing/being, again, keep the voice/identity.
To anyone interested I'd definitely suggest looking into a woman named Norah Vincent who is a writer who did a social experiment where she spent 18 months as a guy and by the end of it was miserable from the lie and seeing what men go through. To quote her directly she said "I really like being a woman I like it more now because I think it's more of a privilege." and ultimately gained more sympathy for men and said "Men are suffering. They have different problems than women have but they don't have it better. They need our sympathy, they need our love, and they need each other more than anything else. They need to be together." It's a pretty fascinating subject seeing the opposite gender be able to see what issues are had on the other side.
I’m actually amazed you got Voicemod to work so well. I’ve been trying to go the other way around and I always get a robotic sounding voice no matter what voice I try.
Trans woman, and I have been using online to help cope with my dysphoria for years now while not able to do much otherwise. Little tips is don't rely on the voice changer so much. Practice your voice and learn the difference between pitch and weight. The voice changer is just used to help tune your voice to be more convincing. Try to avoid clichés aswell, just talk like you would normally but swap genders.
Not a bad voice morph, usually what people do wrong with a morph is just pitch shifting and not timbre formant shifting. For best results I'd use a voice morph that allows control of both formant and pitch shift adjusting for the most natural sound. I don't troll with voice morphs just mostly use for vocal tracks and acting. Looks like an enlightening experience just hope people don't play with others hearts.
Funny how u got the raw guy experience just being a weirdo and not knowing how to talk to strangers and feeling constantly out of place lol it's just how alot of guys r when they can't meet that masculine expectation
@@cinemaspinbest way I could explain it in my experience is it's the unspoken expectation to have specific personality traits like being the "confident, reliable, and funny stand up guy", regardless of the context of that person's life experience. I feel like the video explains it really well, fail to have that mask and u will be ignored by alot of people. U will face a large unspoken rejection, I'm impressed Phia managed to get a handle on it later on but this is not something that applies to everyone. Many males fail or feel restricted, hence it's why I think alot of guys actually will lean on female Avis, it breaks down that barrier of needing to be held to that rule. If u also think of popular Avi models in VRC, female Avis r much more diverse in body type and personality than guy Avis. I actually have a custom female Avi cuz I couldn't find a guy Avi that DIDNT have a 6 pack and just looked like a regular guy
@@gearturner9307 Norah Vincent "Self-Made Man" is the real life version of this. Sadly she ended up killing herself and if Phia keeps going down this route...well...
One thing I wondered about is in the early days of vrchat, when i wore male avatars no one really talked or interacted with me much, when i wore female avatars people were nicer and kinder, and typically more friendly. First time I also ever heard someone say they liked the sound of my voice. Also when i would be mute people seemed to be the kindest and nicest, but then once they heard I'm a guy, their interest and kindness goes way down.
This video made me realize that some things guys experience isn’t just normal. I don’t even use eboy models and all these things happen all the time. I’ve become so used to people just walking away that this video was a reality check.
Thanks I needed that. I wondered why people walked away from me, I felt insecure if I wasn't good looking enough or charismatic enough. Now I know most average guys have the same experience so I feel normal I guess. Doesn't mean I want it to be this way :/
This was a very cool concept to see what it’s like to be a guy within VRChat. It really puts a perspective on how some dudes feel/act within VRChat. As a dude, I had plenty of experiences like you experienced and it’s super cool that you used a tool to completely hide your voice. This video for sure will get you somewhere, I can feel it!
As a trans person, watching you experience this experiment was extremely fascinating. It's interesting to hear you refer to your presentation as a guy as a "lie" and how you dissociated once you became "comfortable with the lie" because that's how I feel IRL when I'm not presenting my preferred gender. However, when I'm in VRChat and I can inhabit the body of my preferred gender; it's incredibly validating and comfortable and my brain just clicks into being confident and happy and my dysphoria vanishes. VRChat is a incredibly validating tool and it's built my confidence and conviction up a lot towards my IRL transition progress. It's also interesting to see other people experiment with the gender they're not and get a taste of that dissociative feeling that trans people feel every day. Phia, I think what you felt was a taste of dypshoria; and that's a really eye opening experience. It also gives credit that dysphoria is a valid and real sensation that anyone can feel.
this but rec room. i mostly just find this funny because if i were to do something like this, i would feel the exact opposite and its kinda funny to compare what i feel to what she does, even if dysphoria isnt the same for everybody
This. I live my life and everything feels like a lie, and I don't have the luxury of being able to come out of that lie hearing her experience living in a gender not of her own resonated with me so well because that's the only thing I can experience be it out of safety or just a fear of being judged
I appreciate how you are pushing the boundaries of how people think about VR and what's possible, not just technologically, but socially. This was very well done, like all your videos, and you being so candid about how you felt is a big part of that.
In a game where you can literally be anything, from a pop cat to a bagel, there are still some very ingrained and strict gender norms at play. There are parts of VRC that are safe and welcoming for trans and non binary peeps, but there is also this space where if your voice or mannerisms don't match the eboy or egirl you're piloting, people lose their fricking minds. As someone who doesn't quite fit the binary in real life, it was actually difficult to find an avatar in VRC that felt "right" for me and how I wanted to express my gender identity in VR. So difficult, that I ended up just making one for myself. This of course doesn't mean that eboys and egirls don't have their place. I recognise how important some avatars are, especially for a trans person who might be dealing with gender dysphoria and how life saving VR can be. I also think VR is becoming this wonderful space where people can find joy in expressing themselves; regardless of what gender they might identify as in real life, and in ways that might not be possible due to cultural and social expectations. It is my hope that social games like VRC will continue to become a space where we not only gain a better understanding of other people and their lived experiences but where we are also given the opportunity to discover more about ourselves.
Yeah. I feel like a lot of people look over the gender norms when talking about VRChat. It is VERY much a thing, something that's harder to escape than even real life.
I always have this identity crisis when i pick out avatars in vrchat. There are either super masc males, or over sexualized females, and it gets really difficult to find a good avatar that is neither.
This reminds me a lot of a book I read in college, "Self-Made Man" - basically a lady tries your same experiment, but like 20+ years ago and IRL. It's a good read; she talks about some of the same mind-trips you do here.
@@crapool4486 that is interesting.. and sad too.. It appears she chose volunary assisted death because of chronic depression? It appears she spent a lot of mental energy dealving to the subject of depression and mental illness.. I suspect these were contributory. I have seen many people whom become what the spend the most thinking about.
I've actually done this before, was a girl in VR for a month on an alt account. Made a lot if friends, way more than on my main account. I felt terrible after honestly cuz I was lying bout my identity
@@carlinataylor93 really is like that, like I'm 28 and I have a few friends but not that many, I try my best to talk with others but it jus resolved to me jus sitting in a corner
@@MonstehDinosawr ima keep it real with you. Being a girl doesnt make you popular... It only increases the odds. Think of it like having a persuasion ring +2... You can have a super shitty pervasive state but the ring makes it slightly less shit. So if you got -20 but your a girl you now got -18. Just keep working hard at improving yourself and one day people will admire you for the grind your on and will befriend you. Just keep at it girl. You will always have a friend in me
This aspect of vrchat is so interesting to me. I am a Trans guy, not out in real life and feel miserable everyday. But when going into vrchat where all my friends know me as louca as a guy, I dont feel like I'm lying about my identity I just feel like I'm being myself, I feel more comfortable. It sucks when I start speaking though people immediately start doubting my gender identity
I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you're able to move out soon if necessary or start a new life as out of the closet. Homophobia and transphobia really sucks
This is a great video, I always wondered what it would be like seeing the world from the other side of gender. I wouldn’t be surprised if you could make an entire video series on Virtual perception and how it influences people in VR. Not just gender identity but several different inputs
I'm a trans guy and you have no idea how jealous this made me lol. I've tried the free voicemod ftm voice changer and it literally just makes the voice deeper so it just sounds like a girl with an unnaturally deep voice and it sucks. Your voice was so good! Seriously, how did you do it? I need that juice girl! I'm trying to be a UA-camr and live streamer and this would help SO MUCH on really dysphoric days until I can get voice training and or hormones.
Congrats you two! Being a couple while also both being independent UA-camrs and cross-promoting each other's content is probably quite a challenge, but I for sure wish you two the best! You're my favorite VR UA-camrs 🥰
This concept is absolutely insane! Very clever idea, I feel it would be cool to try this and see how it affect my brain. I saw the title and was immediately intrigued. Good work as always! Keep it up!!
Phia this was an awesome vid! As a trans person hearing your initial reaction to socializing as a guy was so interesting. I'm a trans man (guy assigned female at birth) and it reminded me of how I felt when I was successfully socializing with people as a girl. It felt nice to be accepted but I felt like I was lying and it put distance between me and others. Your feeling of dissociation kind of sounded like dysphoric dissociation though probably not exactly the same thing. Anyone ultimately I could never become comfortable interacting as a girl but I'm glad you were able to enjoy being both a girl and a boy :)
You werent assigned anything at birth. Youre a female. You will be female for your entire life. Making you either a girl or a woman. Anything else is psychological delusion. You anxiety issue around socialising is entirely normal and means nothing about your gender.
I'm sending you all my support ! I'm a transgirl and so yeah yeah exactly, it's very...strange, hard and uncomfortable at first.. I mean, Phia didn't had any problem with her body or her voice ( wich is almost the whole problem for us ) but it's interesting to see how people react, and in her case yeah it felt weird for her, but the other people had no idea and so wasn't bothered at all. I wish we will see the world and people like this, and that it is true, we're probably the most embarrassed haha. I feel like I said total non-sense so just ; I feel you, be brave and be happy everyday ! 🏳️⚧️🧁✨
Watching Phia get a taste of dysphoria was very interesting and validating. Dysphoria is an extremely difficult sensation to describe to people and a lot of people seem to think that it's not real; but as Phia has shown, cis people can experience dissociation and dysphoria too if they really try to inhabit the gender they aren't.
As a cis guy who plays as a girl in every game possible, including VR games, this was a super interesting video to me. It's always felt natural to me in the same way being a guy in real life has, although if asked about my gender I do always immediately say I'm male so that I'm not lying about it (obviously that would defeat the purpose of this experiment though). I've found playing as a woman in any online game to be way more freeing; while there are definitely some creeps, overall it's way easier to fit in and talk to people because so often when people see a guy the immediate reaction is some level of concern or fear that they're a creep (mainly when interacting with women). Basically I've found it way, way easier to have positive interactions when playing as a girl.
@@stormlord6549 Wouldn't be the first time lol, though it's amusing to me since when I first started doing this it was purely for sexual attraction reasons and later became the norm ("why play as a guy when I can watch a cute girl on my screen instead?"). The idea of being a woman irl does not appeal to me, but in a virtual space it's fun to explore the other side in a temporary way.
@@BlueSparxLPs that's a really interesting experience! It really goes to show how arbitrary the current notions of gender are. It's all fluid and weird. I love it.
Hi Phia, I'm a profession Dungeon Master for Dungeons & Dragons. I've spent over 4000 hours of session time being every single NPC every player has ever talked to. I've been the horrible villains, the homeless waif, the rich noble, the crazy cultist, the evil dragon... the good dragon... I've been character that were beloved, and characters that were despised by the players. I poured a part of my soul into each one, tried to imagine life as each one, what they want and what they feel. I know what you are feeling when you talk about disassociation. It can be uncomfortable, but as a Dungeon Master I'm creating worlds for my players-- I'm not lying about who I am-- if you enjoyed being someone else, and want to do it in a way that is fun and honest, try being a DM for a roleplaying game. :)
"To realize there might be certain perks you get from people solely based on the fact that you're a cute girl with no other reason." This is a surprise to people? How is this a surprise to people. There are entire movies based off this premise, books, comics. It's such an old premise it shows up in Shakespeare. This is why bars have ladies' nights. If they can attract the cute girls they know the guys will come. This is why mother's day is such a big deal but father's day barely gets mentioned. This one singular realization is massive, please don't overlook it as it helps shape a lot of western culture.
Yeah, no one cares for men as a group, no one talks about them in a positive way, men are only valuable as individuals, but only if they work for it in the first place of course. It might be a suprise for a good part of a half of the population because if one focuses solely on itself, then it's harder to see other ppls problems. It's sad but education will do some good I think and this video in a part is exactly this. It's a complicated topic tho.
I've always said that males have ALOT of social pressure and trauma, same as women, but its obv something that if you speak about either or, ppl start to invalidate the issues the other side has. We all need to be able to step back and see what the true issue is, men and woman are being judged not for individual merits, but on actions taken by the common assholes of both sides. Not all men are rapists or shits, not all women are sl%ts and b%tches, but each side treats it as such. The harassments I face weekly in the gaming world is very real, but I'm going to sympathize and respect harassments and trauma you may face as well. Also having a son I make sure he knows that he defines what he wants being a male to be. He doesn't have to listen to assholes at school that tell him he can only play sports, he he cant like purple ( his fav color ) and he cant like art ( he wants to draw manga and im giving him lessons ) F%ck men that pressure you guys to be a standard you dont want to be. Most men and woman, have a common ground, but media and loud idiots from both side make it seem worse then it is.
@@bunnyshade6112 And that's why just saying "btw. that's my perspective on this" on every occasion is valuable I think, because other ppl just don't know the struggles other gender has. Also I try to be civilized during this conversations and I think this is crucial as it is very polarising topic. As the second thing I'd mark that this video highlights a some widespread phenomeon (I'm not sure if it'a a issue or not), not the act of judging a group by the worst individuals, which is a problem too, just another one. Also sorry for my English, I'm not a native.
@@Morris-c8f Honestly, as a graphic designer, the idea of purple and pink being considered “feminine” colors is so stupid to me; purple is the easy one because it is LITERALLY a neutral color, it represents ambition, artistic and uniqueness. Those are GOOD things, and they sure as hell aren’t limited to only women and fem presenting people. Pink represents love, family, kindness, forgiveness, friendship etc. and those are things EVERYBODY wants; femininity isn’t even one of the main uses of the color, there’s so many ways to express femininity that the color has stopped being used in designs because the idea of pink = feminine has become quite frankly boring! My favorite colors are purple and pink, and part of the reason I became a graphic designer in the first place was so I could have the nuance necessary to explain to people that they aren’t feminine colors.
I was so excited for this video when you were talking about it on stream, loved hearing your thoughts then so I can't wait to watch this video to get really into it. Edit: Ayy nice sponsorship pog!
I absolutely love this. Midway through the video I just felt very validated in how a lot of your thoughts on the experiment are just an extension of the trans experience. Things like being disassociated, looking down and not being "you", starting to feel comfortable in your virtual skin after a while etc. Its really sombering!
I feel like convincing them is either going to be stupidly easy or extremely difficult based on how comfortable he or she feels. Like... If you asked a guy who is comfortable with who he is he will gladly change roles. But if you ask some guy who needs to be seen manly to feel good about themselves it will be impossible to get them to act girly for any reason
Maybe some day, we'll be able to switch bodies like we switch clothes and people can be happy with being whatever they wanna be for the day. The idea of such is the biggest reason I love an experience like this, showing us a small taste of what reality doesn't let us currently do at the moment.
Crazy cuz you just stumbled kinda into the life of a closeted trans person. That feeling of lying to ppl was a harsh reality for me personally before I came out. Very cool video and take on something like this, enjoyed it alot. To all my closeted trans folk your valid and loved. 😎👍🏾
I find it interesting that one would dissociate after only a couple days as the wrong gender. Being a trans woman has been difficult for me in many ways. And it is odd to see a cisgender person getting to see a small piece of it. Experiencing how easy it is to hide ones gender in social situations. And how potentially distressing it might be to do that long term. It isn't a comfortable thing to hide ones genuine self, and I think if more people understood that, they would be more kind when people come out as transgender.
I'm a guy who likes to role play as a girl in online games, not because I feel like a girl but because I like girls and seeing my character as a girl makes me happy. I completely behave as a girl in those games so people just asssume I'm a girl. If someone asks if I'm a girl I'm like nah man I'm a guy, and everyone completely accepts that. I've made very long lasting friendships in those games.
@@FAQUERETERMAX "it makes me happy to see my character as a girl." Is a common experience with feminine transgender people. A lot of roll play centered games are designed for you to experience things as your character. So depending on the game and how you play this could be an example of gender euphoria. Which isn't entirely unusual for people who identify as men. Society doesn't give men a lot of space to express their feminine side, so having an outlet for that often feels nice.
@@tentative_flora2690 I choose female characters over male characters whenever I get the chance. I don't identify with them, same as people who play a game where you become shark act as a shark but don't convince themselves the shark IS them. I imagine transgender people like to imagine themselves as that girl character which is fine too. Everyone should be able to express themselves and experiment different things
This video is definitely a good surface level look at the idea of gender being more of a social construct than anything else. Baby steps like this are what I think the world needs when going forward into a more accepting, and open society. Loved the video, keep up to good work!
Umm really? The world isn't going to a more accepting and open place, it's going to be quite the opposite. The USA, which is the one exporting all this extreme Liberalism, is an empire in decline and the unipolar world is coming to an end. Other countries like China, Russia, and Even Africa are going to gain more prominence on the global stage and begin exporting their culture and beliefs. One thing I can guarantee is that theirs will not be as open and accepting as the USA has been. Our future isn't Star trek, it's mad max.
@@miroslavbulldosex I know this is like a month late, but I only just saw this and figured it was still worth answering. Basically what I mean is that gender is not defined by the parts of our body, but rather a way for us to represent ourselves in society.
Honestly I really like this experiment, it’s something I never thought about while playing VRchat, especially when my avatar is a girl. I’m not trans and I don’t have gender dysphoria of any kind, I’m just a guy that likes stereotypically girly stuff so it just felt immediately natural to me to play a girl avatar. I keep my voice and mannerisms the exact same but just the feeling of being able to look at my hands or see myself in the mirror, as small and even to me as strange as it is, it genuinely made me really happy and while I’m perfectly happy and comfortable with my gender and irl body, it just feels like when I’m able to see my avatar it’s like it allows me to do things or have an appearance that my irl self can’t. I don’t know if it’s the same concept but even though I keep my mannerisms the same I do notice that while I’m usually very quiet and almost hide in a corner persay irl, I’m a lot more outgoing and happily willing to start conversations with people but I’m not sure if that’s due to my avatar feeling more natural to me than my irl self or if it’s due to something else entirely
This 7:21 part sums up my My entire VRChat experience every time I have tried this game for the past 3 years, I can count on 1 hand the amount of people that have actually spoken to me, and not for want of trying... I now just don't bother, seems as though if your not dressed as an Egirl, or part of a group already, your pretty much ignored on every level.
"it was also a slap in the face to me too to realize there might be some stuff you get from people solely based on the fact that you are a cute girl" My good and young Phia... that's the oldest trick in the book in any MMORPG game! Back in the 2000 I used to play in several servers of Neverwinter Nights as a young lady, a girl or whatever to get random stuff from other players, or even the game masters would say I was a "great role player". Bonus points if you add a tragic backstory to your female character. Cheff kiss.
It's rough out there sometimes when you're a guy, but there are always ways to manage. Just gotta keep your head up and remember that some people simply aren't worth your emotional energy.
The fact phia never knew about that previously means that just because she was a girl she never once ran into that problem in her entire life.... And it makes me sad knowing men are treated this way just for being men... And then women get away with pretty much anything as long as they are cute
11:27 I'm a girl who usually makes male characters in mmos. I've watched thirsty dudes give my guy friends (using female characters) tons of free expensive gear, help them level, spam friend requests...
I always love seeing another video by you Phia. Thank you for trying out this experiment. VR related content is still early, and it's nice seeing people trying to push boundaries
Hi! New VRChat user here, and I found the cheat code. If you can do a passable German accent, just go and grab a TF2 Medic avatar and head to a 2Fort server, and just hard RP the medic. Everyone will literally flock around you to the point where it can become overwhelming.
A few days is not enough, you can take this further. Fiction authors say "the characters write themselves" and this is true in writing, role playing or identity fluidity and that character will develop in unforseen ways
As a male myself I have experienced a lot of man hate from people when they find out I am a guy IRL, Like for example I was on a forum once but didn't have a gender selected in my profile and people was very nice and friendly and then later on when I went back and filled out my bio and selected male as my gender everyone's attitude changed and they started treating me like trash and they would even go as far as deleting my posts or muting me when I never had any problems before. they singled me out and eventually banned me. man hate is a real thing guys experience all the time, not just online but in real life also
@@chaosXP3RTis male a sex? Yes. Can you discriminate based on a sex? Yes. Is discrimination based on sex sexism? Yes. That’s all you need to know. And if you bring up the power thing. Do you think that homeless man people assume is a drugged out rapist when all he did was get financially destroyed by his cheating wife thinks of himself as having power for being a male? I bet they wish they were a female like their ex wife was and got to keep living a normal life for being one like she did 🤷🏾♂️. I’m hoping your comment was sarcastic lol
@@super8bitable how else am I suppose to say XY chromosome adult mammal of the human species? If I just said man, it could have meant the same thing but it also could have meant an XX chromosome adult mammal of the same species that decided they want to switch sides 48 hours ago sooo… to avoid confusion, I’ll use that. You’re allowed to think it’s a red flag too though I’m not stopping you. Sex and gender are different and this is a sex problem 🤷♂️. We are strictly talking about male men and female women…at least I think
I know I'm not transgender bc I feel very weird in a male avatar, but I feel great in the neutral ones. The hyper sexual ones are a bit of a disconnect because it's very far removed to how I look irl
It doesn't have to be about gender all the time. If you find a male avatar that you think looks cool and you'd like to show to people, just wear it. Avatars are like fashion articles, if nobody question people becoming goose or ugandan knuckles, it should be the same for reverse-gender avatars people keep just because they like those specific avatars. Still normal to feel the dissossiation, it never completely disappear. It's not a bad thing, you're just consious you're wearing a mask
Yeah there isn't a lot of variety in popular models it's different because it isn't just a costume it's like you in a way? Yeah you take it off but you're like living in it in game? It hurts looking at you in the mirror and like... Idk it almost feels like avatars aren't really meant for you and how you want to see yourself but how you want others to see you instead
This makes me think of that female writer who spent 18 months passing as a man (she wront "Self-Made Man"). Sadly she couldn't get over the trauma and took her own life. 😔 *Being male is hard.*
It's interesting cuz some of the stuff you described feeling was actually stuff I used to feel as a trans person before I came out. Heavy dissociation from my body, a feeling like I was lying to people around me, and especially guilt any time I connected with a new person because I felt like they were becoming friends with a version of me that wasn't really "real". A woman, someone by another name, someone who I was only very good at pretending to be. That's a lot of what dysphoria felt like to me, because I distanced myself enough from my body that it didn't affect me anymore. But I just felt so bad that I was "fooling" people into being my friend. Of course in the end, I didn't really change as a person when I came out and my friends didn't feel betrayed, so that was a nice thing that doesn't always get to happen for trans people. But it's kind of crazy that you experienced the same thing in the opposite direction!! It's maybe the closest way a cis person can experience dysphoria so I'm glad it was only temporary for you 😅
I'm a trans-woman, and going into VR has been life changing for me, i just choose not to talk because of my voice (VoiceMod should work on quest 2!) But your feeling of disassociation is similar to how I feel in real life instead of VR, mine is just the opposite of yours.
I get what you want to say with what you said about your disassociation is the opposite of hers, but how could you know that her experiment in an imaginary environment is the same as your experience in real-life? Isn't there a fundamental difference between a virtual avantar and a body that experience life with all its senses? Edit: I forgot to add experience, see comment below.
I just wanna say, this video was an incredible insight on how I found my identity (transgender tomboy). From femboy to tomboy, it's been an incredible journey. I'm one of the girls but I also often am throwing back drinks and partying with the boys. It's a duality that encapsulates my identity perfectly. There's so many layers to people and this experiment...feels comforting. Seeing your brain challenge itself and your feelings clash is what I believe many go through when trying to figure out their own identity, albeit with different circumstances for every person out there. Thank you for this video. VRChat has been a major stepping stone in finding my identity and the friends I've made who accept me for who I am, whether or not I'm hanging with the boys or if I'm one of the girls, it feels like home
Good video, as a trans woman still mid-transition, one of the biggest reasons I'm saving up for an Index at the moment is to be able to play around with this kind of expression, ESPECIALLY because I am competent enough with Blender to make my own personal models.
I'm almost exclusively rocking e-girl avatars as a dude and I absolutely love it. I'm not changing my voice, I just love the idea of being something else, like someone really beautiful and enticing to look at for other people, whilst completely unleashing my complex personality full of both masculine and feminine expressions and quirks. I can come home after a long day at work and just go to a beautiful lounge with beautiful people having amazing conversations, feeling like I'm actually home. It's incredible what is possible in VR. Feeling someone getting really close to your face and being right next to you with their voice projected directly into your ear, brings about closeness and bonds as strong as the ones you create with people in real life. I think I'm becoming addicted which is not the best sign lol
im non-binary and VRC was part of the reason i realized i wasnt cis. funnily enough it was because i was in an alphonse elric avatar and some people couldnt tell what gender i was due to my voice + the avi, so they referred to me as they/them and i was like "hol up that feels good..." so yippeee now im non-binary thanks VRC!! i wanna try and get my sister whos trans into VRC to help her feel gender euphoria
i just wanna note that one of my friends uses one of the models u used as his main for a long ass time and i always make fun of him for it bc the name of the avi is "bucket" (short for bucket hat) and the moment i saw it i immediately was like "OMG BUCKET MY FAVORITE BOI!!!!" i love both my friend and the avatar for that reason and that reason only.
4:04 - Nah, that's what I expect would happen to me too. As a man. Just naturally awkward and anxious; not needing to swap genders to not know how to interact with people naturally. - I feel that the experience of people finding you creepy is the most accurate aspect of the experience of being a male.
OMG Never knew you and Thrill were a couple but have I thought about it before, how two Random VR Celebs could become a couple hahah Especially after seeing you guys travel to VR Conventions together. Kudos! Love you both.
As someone who has a dissociative disorder, seeing someone who doesn’t experience some of the things I do because of this is both validating and fascinating to me. I think if I had to describe what it was like to live the way I do, it’d be… exactly like how you described from around 7:56 to 9:17. Especially the separation between yourself and Sasuke. In my case, of course, it’s not an act, but… A lot of the time, I live my life exactly like that. If another alter wants to befriend people, it gets complicated. They make friends with *that* alter, not me. And it becomes… messy. Oftentimes I wonder how I’m going to explain that the person these people talked to and befriended isn’t always there, and in a way, isn’t actually fully *real*. Knowing that person that these people made friends with could be gone in a day if something happened to line up like that and feeling grief and guilt at the thought of what might happen if/when that aspect disappears… It’s kind of interesting to know that it’s something that others can experience even without being mentally ill. This was a fantastic video. I love your content a lot. Thank you for performing an experiment like this. It’s enlightening, to say the least!
Honestly, I feel this was not explored close enough. This is a good expiroment on the deeply isolating and alienating social boundaries placed on men are. That we are just used to, which is just room temperature to us. I feel it is easier to take the cold shoulders and iffy posturing on just your mere presence, before you even say hi. When at the end of the day, it isn't your lived in experience. You can just take off the VR goggles and return to living a social life on relative easy mode. When that is in the back of your mind the whole time, that you can just "escape" this. But keep in mind, despite getting a taste of what it is like as a guy. You were still on a social application. That is the best case scenario for socializing in a male form. Meanwhile, guys put on the goggles to escape the reality of lowkey trying to sell people on being comfortable with thier presence. There is this unfair rep all guys face to being judged by our worst examples.There are negative connotation to the masculine gender. Like all the half joking preconcieved notions these people had about you. (9:58) Or how that guy got "teritorial" around his gf. You have to navigate all these mountians of anxieties of your mere presences before you even get your foot into the door. It is a constant and endless up hill battle to be accepted. So guys take on female avatars to experience what it is like have a warm reception to your presence for once. To have people care about your emotions, ACTUALLY care about your well being and if you are having a good time. It is so spiritaully healing as a dude. That such a superficial change in our appearance can change so much of how people interact, how they treat you, or even choose to engage with you. We are placed into this box when we're born. It is all we know. But once we taste it, it is unmistakable on what we've been deprieved of all our lives. A box, a life sentence, that we can only find repreive from in VRchat. Kinda feels like VRchat will always be that little more profound to guys for that reason.
I could never do this for the simple fact that I can’t wear a female avatar without feeling a weird sort of disgust towards myself, and the thought that always comes to mind is “this isn’t me”. A lot of the time I feel more comfortable with the body of a machine than that of a human
This has been me for the entire time I've been a VRChat user. Yumi came into being on 14th Jan 2019 and I always use this avatar. I'm a straight, 53 year old male. I often get asked if I'm trans but I'm not. I don't lie to anyone. I am a smol anime fox girl 'trap'. It's hilarious when I do the real voice reveal and no, I don't use Voicemod. But Yumi is Yumi. She's not me but she also is. And as a mental health supporter, people warm to her and open up to her much more easily than they might to with an old man. I'm very comfortable with my dual personality. Everyone should experiment with it. It's said that you can't know someone unless you've walked a mile in their shoes. How about walking a hundred miles in their body?
honestly, the bit you were saying after day 4 honestly sounds a lot like what its like to be trans and try to act like your assigned gender while in public
I agree, I feel like phia just unlocked gender dysphoria here. I think its amazing that she was able to connect to the parts of her that are masculine though, it took me a while as a trans girl to realize that my masculine personality traits don't make me any less of a woman.
In this video phia discovers being "1 of the boys" is fun People naturally give girls the benifit of the doubt And that lying about who you are is challenging on an emotional level and a technical level Overall.... Even in a world where you can be anyone and anything, people will still give you more shit if your girly and people will ignore you more if your more like a boy. In other words phia learned if your a boy YOU NEED THE BOYS to have any kind of social life or a cute girlfriend. A dude by himself will get nowhere just because he is a dude, a girl by herself will get a swarm of people in a matter of minutes wanting to talk and give them avatars
Can confirm, I became so tired of it I just keep the girl avatar on at all time. So many free pass it's digusting, and the worst part is that I don't act different nor even pretend I'm a girl. It got to the point some dudes proposed to me then got really confused after realising that, indeed they knew I'm not a girl but they SOMEHOW totally forgot about it! How does one even forget about such a thing?! xD Long story short, the self-expectations people create from the looks of others alone are insane...
This inspires me to explore my feminine side in VRChat. I get frustrated sometimes with trying to present in real life because of things beyond my control such as beard stubble, my voice, my hairline, my facial structure, etc. But VR is a whole other ballpark.
As a trans girl I have experienced a lot of this first hand, obviously in reverse but the differences of how you are treated is clear. I always hated being treated as a guy. I didn't know how to make friends like that, it seems hard.
"i didnt know how to make friends like that" That is entirely in your head. You let the way other people treat you make you believe there was something wrong with you and feel like you had to change to be happy. You are the boy you have always been, you'vr just convinced yourself that you're happier pretending you a girl whe you could have just been the exact same person as you are now, without having to lie to yourself. There was something about yourself you were unhappy about and rather than facing ot you put on a mask that allows you to ignore it. but it will always be there, eating away at you until you address whatever it actually is.
@Sasha Lemay wow what an obnoxious prick you are. I'll do whatever i want thanks. I'll continue to try to help people, you can fart out meaningless false niceties and garbage platitudes if you like. but don't try to tell me what to do with a smug "thank you in advance for being reasonable". you're not a good person. you're a abuser who puts on a smile and pats them self on the back. you'll reinforce peoples psychological issues and think you're helping them, but you might as well be stabbing them with a thousand cuts that you think is "being nice", like a sociopath you dont really care about others, you care about being seen as good. Put a few more smiley faces after your disgusting comment, it doesn't change the fact youre a terrible person.
@@ghosty0738 you people sure like to tell people what to do dont you. Sorry but yeah, i'm going to continue to tell people the truth and tell them they don't have to change, that they can accept themselves for who they are and will always be, and they can change their character to be whatever person they want. Sex is completely irrelevant, no one should feel happy or sad based on the reality of what the atoms in their body make their sex. Can you stop defending those who will push this ideological nonsense that is causing people to harm themselves? can you do that? You dont have to, you can do whatever you want. but one day youre going to look back at this like we look at lobotomies now, as barbaric. how we look back on shock treatment, and conversion therapy. No one is born in the wrong body. to convince someone their body is "wrong" is disgusting. But you do you.
Super interesting video, had the exact opposite outcome than I was expecting. Definitely not wise to lie to yourself, VRChat and VR avatars are an interesting psychological tool but can cause some unnecessary dissociation if you spend too much time in them. This might be your best video yet, really makes you think without forcing a particular narrative or viewpoint.
This was interesting! Fun seeing how your experiences kinda mirrored mine, to some extent, trying to get into the community. I kinda stopped playing VRchat because of the Day 1 and Day 4 experience you described. VRchat was one of the places I kinda tried experimenting really hard with being *myself* and what I’ve mainly found is people like me much more when I pretend not to be. It’s just another place where I’ve gotta put on a mask if I want people to like me, and I’ve got enough of that in the real world.
I’m a male, but I’ve been a woman in chat (non VR) once for the heck of it. What I found weird is Women get a lot more intrusive attention from strangers. I swapped back quick - definitely prefer being a dude lol.
i'm very fortunate to have this experience of "being one of the boys" most of the time with my friend group. They are all guys who are not interested in me romantically because i show them every part of me that is werid or disgusting and that no man would find cute or quirky lmao. This has brought us so close, we give dating advice to each other and we cheer each other up whenever depression gets the best of us. Im a fairly masculnie girl, not really attractive or anything but its nice having this sort of honest friendship. I've always struggled with making friends with other girls for some reason, no matter how hard i try. I use male avatars on vrchat and its when i feel the best, when i feel really like myself. (i think i might be nb so thats why). Anyway just needed to share my experience after seeing phia get emotional at 8:21
I used the male voice changer that made females sound like corpse pretty much, and within like the first day i already made 10 friends, which on the normal basis without the voice changer i can maybe make one or two friends if im lucky. voices mean a lot more in this game than they should
I don't know what I was expecting, but I definitely did not expect to see a lot of aspects of being trans... The dissociation, identity crises, feeling like you're lying, feeling like what people like of you is not *you*. I felt all this back when I was in the closet, and I still do. (Luckily I have some amazing friends who immediately accepted the "new" real me.) Looking into a mirror and seeing someone that is supposedly you, but doesn't feel like the real you is... well lets stop that sentence there. This was an amazing video and it was very interesting to see someone else's perspective of being someone else, and I'll probably refer to it when someone asks me what it's like "being trans".
This was certainly interesting. In normal games you can perform this same thing, but in VR Chat type systems it seems to be a more personal mirror of yourself. Voice changing is one thing, but movements (especially with full body trackers which I am so jealous of), attitude, etc. You aren't just typing or taking a moment to type, or even just voice changing in Discord/Teamspeak/Ventrillo/etc. Honestly, I never thought of VR as a bastion for trans and other groups, but it really makes sense. On a non-super thoughtful watching, I always find it interesting when people become "guys" and see life is weirder/harder. Like the one person who went undercover as a guy in real life and found out that all the guys she hung out with bragged about and loved their wives and were hard workers. Even something like this where it's found out that just nobody cares to talk to you most of the time (even in real life), or are hyper aggressive until they get to know you. Heck, in real life you might have approached that girl and gotten maced by her. :p But all in all, really, I'd be curious to see this same thing done in other VR communities. It also makes me curious about how LGBT folk handle VR in general. For those going for re-assignment surgery, VR could fill a gap in the processing and testing that is required. The social aspect, as a guy who is generally ignored in VR chat :p, never occurred to me that it could actually have honest therapy type situations.
This doesn't match my online experience at all... So, I'm a woman (shh, don't tell anyone), and on the older side. Years ago, once the internet became widespread, I started visiting forums and chats, picked myself a girly name and a girly avatar, as you do. My interlocutors would often misgender me as a male (it's much more noticeable in my language than in english, you can hardly have a dialogue with someone without putting a gender to them in a process). I would laugh the first couple of times, be angry the second, and then just be confused and sad as it continued, then accepted it as a thing that happens. Lineage 2 then came out, and I hopped in, curious on what's this online gaming all about. Created couple of cute girl characters with cute girl names. Misgendering continued there. No girls on the internet, you understand. At one point it became easier to just let people assume what they assume and not correct them. There were cases with people being annoyed at being corrected about my gender, even angry with me. Later I wanted to have a cool warrior character, and on a whim decided to create this new one as a guy. Aesthetics of my characters were always important to me, and in L2 if you wanted a warrior covered in armor, you could only go with a male, for them to be, you know, actually covered by that armor. And then the weirdest thing started to happen. So when playing as this new character, nothing about my presentation changed, I didn't change my speech patterns or cared to present more masculine, because my new character never was about what *other* people see me as, my characters are for me. And yet, for some reason, I started to get so much LESS random agression towards me. People were getting randomly pissed at me before, I started to think that's just the way of communicating in the internet. Not for my warrior guy! Everyone's fine with him! Everyone's okay with him being witty and joking around, as I always did. People would LISTEN to my instructions on how to defeat a hard boss and NOT go against them just to spite me! It was brilliant! I felt safe to start being FRIENDLY with strangers again without guys assuming I'm head over heels into them! Being treated like a human person, so rare before, that I started thinking it isn't there at all - oh no, it's there. Just not for my beatiful healer. But for cool warrior, who is in absolutely every way the same person, speaks the same, jokes the same, plays the same, but looks a guy. No wonder that I kept him through years. Playing him never felt like decieving. People already would think I'm a guy before, with a plus bonus of being agressive and condenseding, should I have felt like I was decieving them even then? It never in my life really meant much for me, being a girl or a guy, not much preference either way. But what did matter, is being treated like a human. My one character is seen as a human, and it is precious to me. And I am not pretending to be human, I actually am, and if there are other cosmetic ways through my avatar that would help strangers recognise me as a human person, I might probably add them to my avatar aswell. Now years later in VRChat I have a cute and cool androgynous anime teen as an avatar, and it feels just right. Audience changed from ye olden days of early Lineage 2, and there is generally more acceptance of any kind than before. So TL:DR is: • Girl, playing as a guy, • It doesn't feel weird or wrong • Never felt like I'm decieving • People generally treat my guy self better.
LOL what I had no idea it was you? hahahaha. I still got you on my friendslist from the day you joined Chroah and complimented my voice. You totally got me, Kudos to you I can't stop smiling, thank you for this!
It's like method acting, for me after playing a part it's like pull out apart of you. My hardest was playing a character that was opposite of my likes and personality. It took months to "fix" the thoughts and perceptions. I am glad I tried to be that character for musical and plays.
I really liked this video! Super interesting to see the difference, when I first started playing vrc I was most comfortable in guy avi’s, I actually wanted to get a voice changer just for the days I could really immerse myself in being a guy because I think it’s fun and fits my personality type more naturally. Seeing your reaction at 8:05 was super relatable. I remember getting pretty emotional at one point because of how much I enjoyed being the gender I unfortunately wasn’t born as so it can definitely be tough especially for people who are extremely uncomfortable in their own skin. Good job though, Overall great video!
Im genderfluid and tend to act sorta androgenous and act how I feel gender wise that day, it is humbling to have people interact with my eboy character and then I talk and sound sorta femme.. its funny to watch XD this entire video is so cool to watch though
One of the things I really hate about being a guy is that people who don't know you will literally see you as a potential threat by default. Sadly we live in a world where people just have no choice but be on their toes when you, a stranger guy is trying to approach them to strike up a conversation, or coincidentally walking in the same direction as someone else in a dark alley. I hate the real predators and the scumbags who made this a reality. And if you are in a heteronormative relationship, be your partner whatever gender, if you are the one perceived as the traditionally masculine one, and something's going down, an argument, whatever, it is just "probably your fault" or that you are the aggressor anyways and if there was a victim in that situation, it's your partner and it can never be you. I am a transguy by the way and I started coming out and transitioning at 21, so I have had my share of experiencing the world through female presenting people's eyes as well and over all, I feel like if everyone else had to spend some time (couple years) living as their opposite gender as well, and I mean by truly immersing themselves just like how Phia did in this video, the world would be much more empathetic and perhaps we could finally tear the beast that is the social constructed genders down for good and start treating people as individuals and not as the so-called-gender that they intentionally or unintentionally represent.
As someone who plays a lot of rollplaying games and table top rpg games I get what you where saying about the feeling comfortable being that other person and them feeling like a part of you. When you set yourself into a roll it can effect the way you think about stuff. It's one reason i have played several characters with different personalities and interests than me. I like to try and understand what it's like being that other person. This was fun to watch and im glad you got to have this experience.
Also want a voice-changer for VRChat & Discord? Use code "PHIABUNNY" fpr 5% off Voicemod:
x.la/l/Nos4XLvM
What avatar do you have with the bucket
I feel like we should do a reverse of this: I become a girl for a week. I absolutely love this concept.
YES.
YASSSS
Don’t most guys on VRChat do that anyway?
Sorry, had to 😅
PLEASE LOL
@@VRicken I was about to say it LOL
"Im getting so frustrated, why won't people talk to me?" - welcome to the life of an average guy
agreed
“Im getting so frustrated, why every guys are trying to slip into my dms” - an average girl
@@rinreborn7364 ye in virtual there is only 2 extremes the girls have to choose who they wanna talk to and who to not answer and guys just get ignored at all anyway sure the side wich can choose got the better in this one ^^ i mean u literly saying its frustraiting u that ppl want to talk to u and get to know u i cant see the problem with it us guys would like to have that "problem" of urs there
I was super skeptical when she claimed no one would talk to her seeing as her mic was muted at the time.
Video is poorly edited. Could have shown more actual conversation, less narration.
Also, speaking as a dude, I think the main problem guys encounter with being ignored is they're just not that interesting and they aren't doing anything to set themselves apart. Girls get hammered with messages online from thirsty dudes and if you want to stand out from that noise, you need to up your game.
@@Cubee4 I mean it’s hard, if 500 guys wanna talk to one girl she can’t talk to all 500 so ofc she’s gonna narrow it down to people she relates to the most.
Any girl who puts themselves in a guys shoes deserves respect, Norah was too good for this world, too pure
I feel like more women need the humbling experience of trying to socialize as a guy. xD It is so difficicult and awkward.
Rest in peace
@@crypticcorgi8280 I can tell you as a woman I am just as if not more awkward than most men.
@@BubbleBunnyy See the problem here, you're making it a YOU thing when there are million of people struggling. This video was to show how MEN struggle, you just showed that you don't care much about it.
Pervert women put themselves in the place of guys online and IRL to catfish perv on and assault women all of the time.
The hell makes you think this is something deserving of praise?
It was absolutely amazing working with you for this!
The whole video was so well executed and the fact that no one clicked onto it until you told them shows just how convincing it really was.
Thank you again so much! :D
Couldn't have done this without your/voicemod's help!! owe you a ton!!
@@TheVirtualRealityShow you could try a follow on experiment where you stick with a (different) female avatar. e.g. some generic anime type but keep the male voice mod and the assumed identity. See how that goes. Another to try would be being something like a hotdog or other random non-human thing/being, again, keep the voice/identity.
Really created a personality crisis for science. Great job as always, Phia.
3rd world problems if thats an actual "crisis" for someone just to be another gender in vr for some time.
Even funnier, not for science. Had a crisis for CONTENT.
@@baadlyrics8705”third world problems” are still problems it was generally interesting to see this reaction
To anyone interested I'd definitely suggest looking into a woman named Norah Vincent who is a writer who did a social experiment where she spent 18 months as a guy and by the end of it was miserable from the lie and seeing what men go through.
To quote her directly she said "I really like being a woman I like it more now because I think it's more of a privilege." and ultimately gained more sympathy for men and said "Men are suffering. They have different problems than women have but they don't have it better. They need our sympathy, they need our love, and they need each other more than anything else. They need to be together."
It's a pretty fascinating subject seeing the opposite gender be able to see what issues are had on the other side.
WOW thats amazing and so true... I make myself suffer so much tho its unreal lmao..
jus watched a video about it so glad u talked about this, and looking at interesting comments she was a feminist and yeah we defo need lovee
When most every guy has a phase of thinking about killing them selves you know its bad.
@@willcamick oh ya maane ikr ;'(
18 months? Woaaa! I couldn't handle two talks as a girl in textchat back in the days.. first it was funny, but then...
I’m actually amazed you got Voicemod to work so well. I’ve been trying to go the other way around and I always get a robotic sounding voice no matter what voice I try.
They were a big help in setting it up- I was totally surprised too! Seems that with some experimenting and fine-tuning you can really pull off a lot.
It may be because you're using the old pitch slider. They recently made a new option called PowerPitch that sounds way more natural
Trans woman, and I have been using online to help cope with my dysphoria for years now while not able to do much otherwise. Little tips is don't rely on the voice changer so much. Practice your voice and learn the difference between pitch and weight. The voice changer is just used to help tune your voice to be more convincing. Try to avoid clichés aswell, just talk like you would normally but swap genders.
Not a bad voice morph, usually what people do wrong with a morph is just pitch shifting and not timbre formant shifting. For best results I'd use a voice morph that allows control of both formant and pitch shift adjusting for the most natural sound. I don't troll with voice morphs just mostly use for vocal tracks and acting. Looks like an enlightening experience just hope people don't play with others hearts.
@@williamperkins4279 so which one allows both?
Funny how u got the raw guy experience just being a weirdo and not knowing how to talk to strangers and feeling constantly out of place lol it's just how alot of guys r when they can't meet that masculine expectation
What's the masculine expectation? Genuine curiosity
@@cinemaspinbest way I could explain it in my experience is it's the unspoken expectation to have specific personality traits like being the "confident, reliable, and funny stand up guy", regardless of the context of that person's life experience. I feel like the video explains it really well, fail to have that mask and u will be ignored by alot of people. U will face a large unspoken rejection, I'm impressed Phia managed to get a handle on it later on but this is not something that applies to everyone. Many males fail or feel restricted, hence it's why I think alot of guys actually will lean on female Avis, it breaks down that barrier of needing to be held to that rule.
If u also think of popular Avi models in VRC, female Avis r much more diverse in body type and personality than guy Avis. I actually have a custom female Avi cuz I couldn't find a guy Avi that DIDNT have a 6 pack and just looked like a regular guy
@@gearturner9307 couldnt have said it better myself. Very intuitive
@@gearturner9307 legit perfect explanation
@@gearturner9307 Norah Vincent "Self-Made Man" is the real life version of this. Sadly she ended up killing herself and if Phia keeps going down this route...well...
One thing I wondered about is in the early days of vrchat, when i wore male avatars no one really talked or interacted with me much, when i wore female avatars people were nicer and kinder, and typically more friendly. First time I also ever heard someone say they liked the sound of my voice. Also when i would be mute people seemed to be the kindest and nicest, but then once they heard I'm a guy, their interest and kindness goes way down.
Ive had the opposite experience 😢 hope ur ok
That's something WoW players took advantage of ages ago. They realised people were more helpful and kinder, and started using female avatars.
I think you’re just boring bro. I can talk to people regardless of the avatar I wear
It is proven that people are on average nicer to women regardless of their gender
I’m new to vrchat and when I picked a female model I got harassed immediately. I changed to a male model just so people would leave me alone. 😢
This video made me realize that some things guys experience isn’t just normal. I don’t even use eboy models and all these things happen all the time. I’ve become so used to people just walking away that this video was a reality check.
Thanks I needed that. I wondered why people walked away from me, I felt insecure if I wasn't good looking enough or charismatic enough. Now I know most average guys have the same experience so I feel normal I guess. Doesn't mean I want it to be this way :/
This was a very cool concept to see what it’s like to be a guy within VRChat. It really puts a perspective on how some dudes feel/act within VRChat. As a dude, I had plenty of experiences like you experienced and it’s super cool that you used a tool to completely hide your voice. This video for sure will get you somewhere, I can feel it!
1:40 An accurate description of 99.9% of the male player base.
🤭
Bro stop
It hurts too much hahahaha
As a trans person, watching you experience this experiment was extremely fascinating. It's interesting to hear you refer to your presentation as a guy as a "lie" and how you dissociated once you became "comfortable with the lie" because that's how I feel IRL when I'm not presenting my preferred gender. However, when I'm in VRChat and I can inhabit the body of my preferred gender; it's incredibly validating and comfortable and my brain just clicks into being confident and happy and my dysphoria vanishes. VRChat is a incredibly validating tool and it's built my confidence and conviction up a lot towards my IRL transition progress.
It's also interesting to see other people experiment with the gender they're not and get a taste of that dissociative feeling that trans people feel every day. Phia, I think what you felt was a taste of dypshoria; and that's a really eye opening experience. It also gives credit that dysphoria is a valid and real sensation that anyone can feel.
this but rec room. i mostly just find this funny because if i were to do something like this, i would feel the exact opposite and its kinda funny to compare what i feel to what she does, even if dysphoria isnt the same for everybody
This.
I live my life and everything feels like a lie, and I don't have the luxury of being able to come out of that lie hearing her experience living in a gender not of her own resonated with me so well because that's the only thing I can experience be it out of safety or just a fear of being judged
Some things are better not to
I appreciate how you are pushing the boundaries of how people think about VR and what's possible, not just technologically, but socially. This was very well done, like all your videos, and you being so candid about how you felt is a big part of that.
The industrial revolution and its consequences
In a game where you can literally be anything, from a pop cat to a bagel, there are still some very ingrained and strict gender norms at play. There are parts of VRC that are safe and welcoming for trans and non binary peeps, but there is also this space where if your voice or mannerisms don't match the eboy or egirl you're piloting, people lose their fricking minds. As someone who doesn't quite fit the binary in real life, it was actually difficult to find an avatar in VRC that felt "right" for me and how I wanted to express my gender identity in VR. So difficult, that I ended up just making one for myself. This of course doesn't mean that eboys and egirls don't have their place. I recognise how important some avatars are, especially for a trans person who might be dealing with gender dysphoria and how life saving VR can be. I also think VR is becoming this wonderful space where people can find joy in expressing themselves; regardless of what gender they might identify as in real life, and in ways that might not be possible due to cultural and social expectations. It is my hope that social games like VRC will continue to become a space where we not only gain a better understanding of other people and their lived experiences but where we are also given the opportunity to discover more about ourselves.
Yeah. I feel like a lot of people look over the gender norms when talking about VRChat. It is VERY much a thing, something that's harder to escape than even real life.
This is why the avatar I main is Yubel from Yugioh GX, lol
You mean the fact that half of VRChat regulars want to look like scantily clad anime e-girls with collars, prominent cleavage and huge nails?
perhaps because gender is a part of being human and not just some arbitrary made up idea
I always have this identity crisis when i pick out avatars in vrchat. There are either super masc males, or over sexualized females, and it gets really difficult to find a good avatar that is neither.
This reminds me a lot of a book I read in college, "Self-Made Man" - basically a lady tries your same experiment, but like 20+ years ago and IRL. It's a good read; she talks about some of the same mind-trips you do here.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-Made_Man_(book)
that same lady killed herself btw
@@crapool4486 that is interesting.. and sad too.. It appears she chose volunary assisted death because of chronic depression? It appears she spent a lot of mental energy dealving to the subject of depression and mental illness.. I suspect these were contributory. I have seen many people whom become what the spend the most thinking about.
@@manp1039 yeah it’s very unfortunate
@@crapool4486 That's because men go through this everyday. It's really interesting because this in VR, but it still applies.
HA! Take THAT Girls of VRChat! Now you know how the lads feel surrpounded by Gaifu's!
"Gaifu's" IM DEAD
@@TheVirtualRealityShow 💀
@@TheVirtualRealityShow would be great if you were
wats gaifus?
@@Poetry4Peace dudes in real life wearing anime girl avatars in VR
I've actually done this before, was a girl in VR for a month on an alt account. Made a lot if friends, way more than on my main account. I felt terrible after honestly cuz I was lying bout my identity
Funny how being a dude you struggle to make friends but as a girl making friends is easier then learning to walk and talk. Society sucks like that
@@carlinataylor93 really is like that, like I'm 28 and I have a few friends but not that many, I try my best to talk with others but it jus resolved to me jus sitting in a corner
@@carlinataylor93 I'm a cis female and struggle making friends in VR but I think that's because I'm socially awkward due to being autistic 💀💀
Many would have remove you in the friendlist after knowing you cheated
@@MonstehDinosawr ima keep it real with you. Being a girl doesnt make you popular... It only increases the odds. Think of it like having a persuasion ring +2... You can have a super shitty pervasive state but the ring makes it slightly less shit. So if you got -20 but your a girl you now got -18. Just keep working hard at improving yourself and one day people will admire you for the grind your on and will befriend you. Just keep at it girl. You will always have a friend in me
This aspect of vrchat is so interesting to me. I am a Trans guy, not out in real life and feel miserable everyday. But when going into vrchat where all my friends know me as louca as a guy, I dont feel like I'm lying about my identity I just feel like I'm being myself, I feel more comfortable. It sucks when I start speaking though people immediately start doubting my gender identity
I get told I sound like 12 lmao
I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you're able to move out soon if necessary or start a new life as out of the closet. Homophobia and transphobia really sucks
This is a great video, I always wondered what it would be like seeing the world from the other side of gender. I wouldn’t be surprised if you could make an entire video series on Virtual perception and how it influences people in VR. Not just gender identity but several different inputs
Go outside
@@walterrising4276 I do, often.
@@walterrising4276 Touch grass.
I'm a trans guy and you have no idea how jealous this made me lol. I've tried the free voicemod ftm voice changer and it literally just makes the voice deeper so it just sounds like a girl with an unnaturally deep voice and it sucks. Your voice was so good! Seriously, how did you do it? I need that juice girl! I'm trying to be a UA-camr and live streamer and this would help SO MUCH on really dysphoric days until I can get voice training and or hormones.
If you watched the video then buy the sponsored product because that’s how she was able to do it. Duh.
@@abeautifulrose Yeah I bought it but I still have no idea how to make a convincing voice and there's no tutorials so yeah
@@3v1l73ddy trying to do female voice lol to hard
@@3v1l73ddy pretty sure it's a mix of actually deepening your own voice and using the voicemod, pay around with it.
Same bro. I think practicing your resonance would help
Congrats you two! Being a couple while also both being independent UA-camrs and cross-promoting each other's content is probably quite a challenge, but I for sure wish you two the best! You're my favorite VR UA-camrs 🥰
Yeah its good to see that
Wholesome ending
This concept is absolutely insane! Very clever idea, I feel it would be cool to try this and see how it affect my brain.
I saw the title and was immediately intrigued. Good work as always! Keep it up!!
Phia this was an awesome vid! As a trans person hearing your initial reaction to socializing as a guy was so interesting. I'm a trans man (guy assigned female at birth) and it reminded me of how I felt when I was successfully socializing with people as a girl. It felt nice to be accepted but I felt like I was lying and it put distance between me and others. Your feeling of dissociation kind of sounded like dysphoric dissociation though probably not exactly the same thing. Anyone ultimately I could never become comfortable interacting as a girl but I'm glad you were able to enjoy being both a girl and a boy :)
You werent assigned anything at birth. Youre a female. You will be female for your entire life. Making you either a girl or a woman.
Anything else is psychological delusion. You anxiety issue around socialising is entirely normal and means nothing about your gender.
I'm sending you all my support ! I'm a transgirl and so yeah yeah exactly, it's very...strange, hard and uncomfortable at first.. I mean, Phia didn't had any problem with her body or her voice ( wich is almost the whole problem for us ) but it's interesting to see how people react, and in her case yeah it felt weird for her, but the other people had no idea and so wasn't bothered at all. I wish we will see the world and people like this, and that it is true, we're probably the most embarrassed haha.
I feel like I said total non-sense so just ; I feel you, be brave and be happy everyday ! 🏳️⚧️🧁✨
@@Enyl_Strayno it made sense haha and thank you!! same to you :)
@@Enyl_Stray "as a retard"
Tldr
Watching Phia get a taste of dysphoria was very interesting and validating. Dysphoria is an extremely difficult sensation to describe to people and a lot of people seem to think that it's not real; but as Phia has shown, cis people can experience dissociation and dysphoria too if they really try to inhabit the gender they aren't.
I love how vr gives us an opportunity to see the world from different perspectives in a very personal and intimate way
next time: "I spent a week as a bird, it resulted in a lot of out of bound exploration"
As a cis guy who plays as a girl in every game possible, including VR games, this was a super interesting video to me. It's always felt natural to me in the same way being a guy in real life has, although if asked about my gender I do always immediately say I'm male so that I'm not lying about it (obviously that would defeat the purpose of this experiment though). I've found playing as a woman in any online game to be way more freeing; while there are definitely some creeps, overall it's way easier to fit in and talk to people because so often when people see a guy the immediate reaction is some level of concern or fear that they're a creep (mainly when interacting with women). Basically I've found it way, way easier to have positive interactions when playing as a girl.
you may want to check out r/egg_irl
I had a similar experience before my egg cracked.
@@stormlord6549 Wouldn't be the first time lol, though it's amusing to me since when I first started doing this it was purely for sexual attraction reasons and later became the norm ("why play as a guy when I can watch a cute girl on my screen instead?"). The idea of being a woman irl does not appeal to me, but in a virtual space it's fun to explore the other side in a temporary way.
@@BlueSparxLPs that's a really interesting experience! It really goes to show how arbitrary the current notions of gender are. It's all fluid and weird. I love it.
no cis
@@MehdiMessani ?
Hi Phia, I'm a profession Dungeon Master for Dungeons & Dragons. I've spent over 4000 hours of session time being every single NPC every player has ever talked to. I've been the horrible villains, the homeless waif, the rich noble, the crazy cultist, the evil dragon... the good dragon... I've been character that were beloved, and characters that were despised by the players. I poured a part of my soul into each one, tried to imagine life as each one, what they want and what they feel. I know what you are feeling when you talk about disassociation. It can be uncomfortable, but as a Dungeon Master I'm creating worlds for my players-- I'm not lying about who I am-- if you enjoyed being someone else, and want to do it in a way that is fun and honest, try being a DM for a roleplaying game. :)
Dope
"To realize there might be certain perks you get from people solely based on the fact that you're a cute girl with no other reason."
This is a surprise to people? How is this a surprise to people. There are entire movies based off this premise, books, comics. It's such an old premise it shows up in Shakespeare. This is why bars have ladies' nights. If they can attract the cute girls they know the guys will come. This is why mother's day is such a big deal but father's day barely gets mentioned. This one singular realization is massive, please don't overlook it as it helps shape a lot of western culture.
Yeah, no one cares for men as a group, no one talks about them in a positive way, men are only valuable as individuals, but only if they work for it in the first place of course. It might be a suprise for a good part of a half of the population because if one focuses solely on itself, then it's harder to see other ppls problems. It's sad but education will do some good I think and this video in a part is exactly this. It's a complicated topic tho.
I've always said that males have ALOT of social pressure and trauma, same as women, but its obv something that if you speak about either or, ppl start to invalidate the issues the other side has. We all need to be able to step back and see what the true issue is, men and woman are being judged not for individual merits, but on actions taken by the common assholes of both sides. Not all men are rapists or shits, not all women are sl%ts and b%tches, but each side treats it as such. The harassments I face weekly in the gaming world is very real, but I'm going to sympathize and respect harassments and trauma you may face as well.
Also having a son I make sure he knows that he defines what he wants being a male to be. He doesn't have to listen to assholes at school that tell him he can only play sports, he he cant like purple ( his fav color ) and he cant like art ( he wants to draw manga and im giving him lessons ) F%ck men that pressure you guys to be a standard you dont want to be. Most men and woman, have a common ground, but media and loud idiots from both side make it seem worse then it is.
@@bunnyshade6112 And that's why just saying "btw. that's my perspective on this" on every occasion is valuable I think, because other ppl just don't know the struggles other gender has. Also I try to be civilized during this conversations and I think this is crucial as it is very polarising topic. As the second thing I'd mark that this video highlights a some widespread phenomeon (I'm not sure if it'a a issue or not), not the act of judging a group by the worst individuals, which is a problem too, just another one. Also sorry for my English, I'm not a native.
@@bunnyshade6112 your son is a Chad if he likes purple, it's the best colour.
@@Morris-c8f Honestly, as a graphic designer, the idea of purple and pink being considered “feminine” colors is so stupid to me; purple is the easy one because it is LITERALLY a neutral color, it represents ambition, artistic and uniqueness. Those are GOOD things, and they sure as hell aren’t limited to only women and fem presenting people. Pink represents love, family, kindness, forgiveness, friendship etc. and those are things EVERYBODY wants; femininity isn’t even one of the main uses of the color, there’s so many ways to express femininity that the color has stopped being used in designs because the idea of pink = feminine has become quite frankly boring! My favorite colors are purple and pink, and part of the reason I became a graphic designer in the first place was so I could have the nuance necessary to explain to people that they aren’t feminine colors.
I was so excited for this video when you were talking about it on stream, loved hearing your thoughts then so I can't wait to watch this video to get really into it.
Edit: Ayy nice sponsorship pog!
I absolutely love this. Midway through the video I just felt very validated in how a lot of your thoughts on the experiment are just an extension of the trans experience. Things like being disassociated, looking down and not being "you", starting to feel comfortable in your virtual skin after a while etc. Its really sombering!
"changing gender roles is a fun game all on its own" welp, time to convince my partner to do something lol
I feel like convincing them is either going to be stupidly easy or extremely difficult based on how comfortable he or she feels. Like... If you asked a guy who is comfortable with who he is he will gladly change roles. But if you ask some guy who needs to be seen manly to feel good about themselves it will be impossible to get them to act girly for any reason
...welp
Thats gonna end up on the crossdressing side of youtube
Maybe some day, we'll be able to switch bodies like we switch clothes and people can be happy with being whatever they wanna be for the day. The idea of such is the biggest reason I love an experience like this, showing us a small taste of what reality doesn't let us currently do at the moment.
Check out the Altered Carbon show. It gets into how that would work. Crazy story.
Crazy cuz you just stumbled kinda into the life of a closeted trans person. That feeling of lying to ppl was a harsh reality for me personally before I came out.
Very cool video and take on something like this, enjoyed it alot.
To all my closeted trans folk your valid and loved. 😎👍🏾
Its not bad for lying because you need to protect yourself
I felt the same way, it's wild huh
@@allyma3 oh for sure!
I find it interesting that one would dissociate after only a couple days as the wrong gender. Being a trans woman has been difficult for me in many ways. And it is odd to see a cisgender person getting to see a small piece of it. Experiencing how easy it is to hide ones gender in social situations. And how potentially distressing it might be to do that long term.
It isn't a comfortable thing to hide ones genuine self, and I think if more people understood that, they would be more kind when people come out as transgender.
I'm a guy who likes to role play as a girl in online games, not because I feel like a girl but because I like girls and seeing my character as a girl makes me happy. I completely behave as a girl in those games so people just asssume I'm a girl. If someone asks if I'm a girl I'm like nah man I'm a guy, and everyone completely accepts that. I've made very long lasting friendships in those games.
@@FAQUERETERMAX "it makes me happy to see my character as a girl." Is a common experience with feminine transgender people. A lot of roll play centered games are designed for you to experience things as your character. So depending on the game and how you play this could be an example of gender euphoria. Which isn't entirely unusual for people who identify as men. Society doesn't give men a lot of space to express their feminine side, so having an outlet for that often feels nice.
@@tentative_flora2690 I choose female characters over male characters whenever I get the chance. I don't identify with them, same as people who play a game where you become shark act as a shark but don't convince themselves the shark IS them. I imagine transgender people like to imagine themselves as that girl character which is fine too. Everyone should be able to express themselves and experiment different things
@@FAQUERETERMAX bro same with me but vise versa I feel exactly how you do
I think you might underestimate how much most people hide about themselves.
This video is definitely a good surface level look at the idea of gender being more of a social construct than anything else. Baby steps like this are what I think the world needs when going forward into a more accepting, and open society. Loved the video, keep up to good work!
TF ?? You mean LESS of a social construct than anything else ?
Umm really? The world isn't going to a more accepting and open place, it's going to be quite the opposite. The USA, which is the one exporting all this extreme Liberalism, is an empire in decline and the unipolar world is coming to an end. Other countries like China, Russia, and Even Africa are going to gain more prominence on the global stage and begin exporting their culture and beliefs. One thing I can guarantee is that theirs will not be as open and accepting as the USA has been. Our future isn't Star trek, it's mad max.
This proves gender is not a "social construct" its an integral aspect of being human.
please explain your point, i want to understand how this video can be a proof that gender is a social construct
@@miroslavbulldosex I know this is like a month late, but I only just saw this and figured it was still worth answering. Basically what I mean is that gender is not defined by the parts of our body, but rather a way for us to represent ourselves in society.
Honestly I really like this experiment, it’s something I never thought about while playing VRchat, especially when my avatar is a girl. I’m not trans and I don’t have gender dysphoria of any kind, I’m just a guy that likes stereotypically girly stuff so it just felt immediately natural to me to play a girl avatar. I keep my voice and mannerisms the exact same but just the feeling of being able to look at my hands or see myself in the mirror, as small and even to me as strange as it is, it genuinely made me really happy and while I’m perfectly happy and comfortable with my gender and irl body, it just feels like when I’m able to see my avatar it’s like it allows me to do things or have an appearance that my irl self can’t. I don’t know if it’s the same concept but even though I keep my mannerisms the same I do notice that while I’m usually very quiet and almost hide in a corner persay irl, I’m a lot more outgoing and happily willing to start conversations with people but I’m not sure if that’s due to my avatar feeling more natural to me than my irl self or if it’s due to something else entirely
This 7:21 part sums up my My entire VRChat experience every time I have tried this game for the past 3 years, I can count on 1 hand the amount of people that have actually spoken to me, and not for want of trying... I now just don't bother, seems as though if your not dressed as an Egirl, or part of a group already, your pretty much ignored on every level.
this has been my experience as well, i've never been able to just go public world hopping and suddenly meet a bunch of new people
I just walk up to the nearest mirror and start to dance. People will often come an chill :D
"it was also a slap in the face to me too to realize there might be some stuff you get from people solely based on the fact that you are a cute girl"
My good and young Phia... that's the oldest trick in the book in any MMORPG game! Back in the 2000 I used to play in several servers of Neverwinter Nights as a young lady, a girl or whatever to get random stuff from other players, or even the game masters would say I was a "great role player".
Bonus points if you add a tragic backstory to your female character. Cheff kiss.
It's rough out there sometimes when you're a guy, but there are always ways to manage. Just gotta keep your head up and remember that some people simply aren't worth your emotional energy.
The fact phia never knew about that previously means that just because she was a girl she never once ran into that problem in her entire life.... And it makes me sad knowing men are treated this way just for being men... And then women get away with pretty much anything as long as they are cute
Or stop being gay and actually have a life
@@carlinataylor93 nobody cares
@@walterrising4276 i do
@@walterrising4276 exactly
11:27 I'm a girl who usually makes male characters in mmos. I've watched thirsty dudes give my guy friends (using female characters) tons of free expensive gear, help them level, spam friend requests...
I always love seeing another video by you Phia. Thank you for trying out this experiment.
VR related content is still early, and it's nice seeing people trying to push boundaries
Nobody gives a shit about any regular man unless you are exceptionally social and funny.
VRchat is a reminder of that
You did a good job role playing him, found the soul of the character you were playing. I also love that you used majora mask day tracker it's amazing.
Hi! New VRChat user here, and I found the cheat code. If you can do a passable German accent, just go and grab a TF2 Medic avatar and head to a 2Fort server, and just hard RP the medic. Everyone will literally flock around you to the point where it can become overwhelming.
A few days is not enough, you can take this further. Fiction authors say "the characters write themselves" and this is true in writing, role playing or identity fluidity and that character will develop in unforseen ways
As a male myself I have experienced a lot of man hate from people when they find out I am a guy IRL, Like for example I was on a forum once but didn't have a gender selected in my profile and people was very nice and friendly and then later on when I went back and filled out my bio and selected male as my gender everyone's attitude changed and they started treating me like trash and they would even go as far as deleting my posts or muting me when I never had any problems before. they singled me out and eventually banned me. man hate is a real thing guys experience all the time, not just online but in real life also
What kind of forum is that? It sounds so sexist
@@am-ir2bxMen can't experience sexism
@@chaosXP3RTis male a sex? Yes. Can you discriminate based on a sex? Yes. Is discrimination based on sex sexism? Yes. That’s all you need to know. And if you bring up the power thing.
Do you think that homeless man people assume is a drugged out rapist when all he did was get financially destroyed by his cheating wife thinks of himself as having power for being a male?
I bet they wish they were a female like their ex wife was and got to keep living a normal life for being one like she did 🤷🏾♂️. I’m hoping your comment was sarcastic lol
@@SheikAshiiUsing “males” and “females” as a noun 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
@@super8bitable how else am I suppose to say XY chromosome adult mammal of the human species? If I just said man, it could have meant the same thing but it also could have meant an XX chromosome adult mammal of the same species that decided they want to switch sides 48 hours ago sooo… to avoid confusion, I’ll use that. You’re allowed to think it’s a red flag too though I’m not stopping you.
Sex and gender are different and this is a sex problem 🤷♂️. We are strictly talking about male men and female women…at least I think
I know I'm not transgender bc I feel very weird in a male avatar, but I feel great in the neutral ones. The hyper sexual ones are a bit of a disconnect because it's very far removed to how I look irl
It doesn't have to be about gender all the time.
If you find a male avatar that you think looks cool and you'd like to show to people, just wear it. Avatars are like fashion articles, if nobody question people becoming goose or ugandan knuckles, it should be the same for reverse-gender avatars people keep just because they like those specific avatars. Still normal to feel the dissossiation, it never completely disappear. It's not a bad thing, you're just consious you're wearing a mask
androgynous look is pretty cool, i support that.
Yeah there isn't a lot of variety in popular models it's different because it isn't just a costume it's like you in a way? Yeah you take it off but you're like living in it in game? It hurts looking at you in the mirror and like... Idk it almost feels like avatars aren't really meant for you and how you want to see yourself but how you want others to see you instead
As a guy it’s always getting into fights/arguments in vr chat lmao
This makes me think of that female writer who spent 18 months passing as a man (she wront "Self-Made Man"). Sadly she couldn't get over the trauma and took her own life. 😔
*Being male is hard.*
"I'm starting to get oddly comfortable with lying... And being someone I'm not..."
~Welcome to VRChat.
It's interesting cuz some of the stuff you described feeling was actually stuff I used to feel as a trans person before I came out. Heavy dissociation from my body, a feeling like I was lying to people around me, and especially guilt any time I connected with a new person because I felt like they were becoming friends with a version of me that wasn't really "real". A woman, someone by another name, someone who I was only very good at pretending to be. That's a lot of what dysphoria felt like to me, because I distanced myself enough from my body that it didn't affect me anymore. But I just felt so bad that I was "fooling" people into being my friend. Of course in the end, I didn't really change as a person when I came out and my friends didn't feel betrayed, so that was a nice thing that doesn't always get to happen for trans people. But it's kind of crazy that you experienced the same thing in the opposite direction!! It's maybe the closest way a cis person can experience dysphoria so I'm glad it was only temporary for you 😅
I'm a trans-woman, and going into VR has been life changing for me, i just choose not to talk because of my voice (VoiceMod should work on quest 2!) But your feeling of disassociation is similar to how I feel in real life instead of VR, mine is just the opposite of yours.
I get what you want to say with what you said about your disassociation is the opposite of hers, but how could you know that her experiment in an imaginary environment is the same as your experience in real-life? Isn't there a fundamental difference between a virtual avantar and a body that experience life with all its senses?
Edit: I forgot to add experience, see comment below.
Oh, I didn't want to say that you do an experiment in real life, I meant to say experience.
I just wanna say, this video was an incredible insight on how I found my identity (transgender tomboy). From femboy to tomboy, it's been an incredible journey. I'm one of the girls but I also often am throwing back drinks and partying with the boys. It's a duality that encapsulates my identity perfectly. There's so many layers to people and this experiment...feels comforting. Seeing your brain challenge itself and your feelings clash is what I believe many go through when trying to figure out their own identity, albeit with different circumstances for every person out there. Thank you for this video. VRChat has been a major stepping stone in finding my identity and the friends I've made who accept me for who I am, whether or not I'm hanging with the boys or if I'm one of the girls, it feels like home
That is insane and I totally support that
Good video, as a trans woman still mid-transition, one of the biggest reasons I'm saving up for an Index at the moment is to be able to play around with this kind of expression, ESPECIALLY because I am competent enough with Blender to make my own personal models.
4:50 Him roasting your eboy avatar when I've seen that eboy avatar several times over the weekend myself... Great video Phia.
I'm almost exclusively rocking e-girl avatars as a dude and I absolutely love it. I'm not changing my voice, I just love the idea of being something else, like someone really beautiful and enticing to look at for other people, whilst completely unleashing my complex personality full of both masculine and feminine expressions and quirks. I can come home after a long day at work and just go to a beautiful lounge with beautiful people having amazing conversations, feeling like I'm actually home. It's incredible what is possible in VR. Feeling someone getting really close to your face and being right next to you with their voice projected directly into your ear, brings about closeness and bonds as strong as the ones you create with people in real life. I think I'm becoming addicted which is not the best sign lol
Egg
This was an incredible video, really interesting how it can shift your sense of reality and start having some effects between vr and irl.
im non-binary and VRC was part of the reason i realized i wasnt cis. funnily enough it was because i was in an alphonse elric avatar and some people couldnt tell what gender i was due to my voice + the avi, so they referred to me as they/them and i was like "hol up that feels good..." so yippeee now im non-binary thanks VRC!! i wanna try and get my sister whos trans into VRC to help her feel gender euphoria
i just wanna note that one of my friends uses one of the models u used as his main for a long ass time and i always make fun of him for it bc the name of the avi is "bucket" (short for bucket hat) and the moment i saw it i immediately was like "OMG BUCKET MY FAVORITE BOI!!!!" i love both my friend and the avatar for that reason and that reason only.
4:04 - Nah, that's what I expect would happen to me too. As a man. Just naturally awkward and anxious; not needing to swap genders to not know how to interact with people naturally.
- I feel that the experience of people finding you creepy is the most accurate aspect of the experience of being a male.
Haha. Unable to find friends and people laugh at you. Accurate experience of being male.
vrchat has caused identity crisis for me so many times. we need more videos like this . thank you so much
OMG Never knew you and Thrill were a couple but have I thought about it before, how two Random VR Celebs could become a couple hahah Especially after seeing you guys travel to VR Conventions together. Kudos! Love you both.
Now you at least know how different people get treated based on gender alone
This is one reason why so many guys use female avatars, people will straight up ignore male avatars and walk away from them
sasuke gucciha is both one of the hardest names ever and the corniest things I've ever heard
Totally the vibe I was going for, thanks 😂
As someone who has a dissociative disorder, seeing someone who doesn’t experience some of the things I do because of this is both validating and fascinating to me.
I think if I had to describe what it was like to live the way I do, it’d be… exactly like how you described from around 7:56 to 9:17. Especially the separation between yourself and Sasuke. In my case, of course, it’s not an act, but…
A lot of the time, I live my life exactly like that. If another alter wants to befriend people, it gets complicated. They make friends with *that* alter, not me. And it becomes… messy. Oftentimes I wonder how I’m going to explain that the person these people talked to and befriended isn’t always there, and in a way, isn’t actually fully *real*. Knowing that person that these people made friends with could be gone in a day if something happened to line up like that and feeling grief and guilt at the thought of what might happen if/when that aspect disappears…
It’s kind of interesting to know that it’s something that others can experience even without being mentally ill.
This was a fantastic video. I love your content a lot. Thank you for performing an experiment like this. It’s enlightening, to say the least!
Honestly, I feel this was not explored close enough. This is a good expiroment on the deeply isolating and alienating social boundaries placed on men are. That we are just used to, which is just room temperature to us. I feel it is easier to take the cold shoulders and iffy posturing on just your mere presence, before you even say hi. When at the end of the day, it isn't your lived in experience. You can just take off the VR goggles and return to living a social life on relative easy mode. When that is in the back of your mind the whole time, that you can just "escape" this. But keep in mind, despite getting a taste of what it is like as a guy. You were still on a social application. That is the best case scenario for socializing in a male form. Meanwhile, guys put on the goggles to escape the reality of lowkey trying to sell people on being comfortable with thier presence.
There is this unfair rep all guys face to being judged by our worst examples.There are negative connotation to the masculine gender. Like all the half joking preconcieved notions these people had about you. (9:58) Or how that guy got "teritorial" around his gf. You have to navigate all these mountians of anxieties of your mere presences before you even get your foot into the door. It is a constant and endless up hill battle to be accepted. So guys take on female avatars to experience what it is like have a warm reception to your presence for once. To have people care about your emotions, ACTUALLY care about your well being and if you are having a good time. It is so spiritaully healing as a dude. That such a superficial change in our appearance can change so much of how people interact, how they treat you, or even choose to engage with you. We are placed into this box when we're born. It is all we know. But once we taste it, it is unmistakable on what we've been deprieved of all our lives. A box, a life sentence, that we can only find repreive from in VRchat.
Kinda feels like VRchat will always be that little more profound to guys for that reason.
Your boyfriend is like: "It takes a strong man to be best girl"
“When have you ever looked down and not been you?” Girl I’m trans that’s me every day for the past seventeen years this is nothing new.
You have been your self your whole life.
You just dont like something about yourself and someone lied to you about what that means.
@@ge2719 on god
my bad i meant on cap
@@ge2719 if we ain't real then stop being so obsessed with us. living in your simple mind rent free lmao
@@feykingjulian i also literally never even said anything about anything being "real" or not.
Seems like something is living rent free in your brain.
I could never do this for the simple fact that I can’t wear a female avatar without feeling a weird sort of disgust towards myself, and the thought that always comes to mind is “this isn’t me”. A lot of the time I feel more comfortable with the body of a machine than that of a human
Bro everyone on vr thinks I’m a boy but I’m a girl on vr 😭
It's the deep voice struggle! I feel you! 😢
Talk about rough... I'm terribly sorry that's happened to you.
4:44 ''bruv ive seen that avatar like 8 times today bro cmon'' - person with an avatar you see in literally every vrchat lobby lmao
This has been me for the entire time I've been a VRChat user. Yumi came into being on 14th Jan 2019 and I always use this avatar. I'm a straight, 53 year old male. I often get asked if I'm trans but I'm not. I don't lie to anyone. I am a smol anime fox girl 'trap'. It's hilarious when I do the real voice reveal and no, I don't use Voicemod. But Yumi is Yumi. She's not me but she also is. And as a mental health supporter, people warm to her and open up to her much more easily than they might to with an old man. I'm very comfortable with my dual personality. Everyone should experiment with it. It's said that you can't know someone unless you've walked a mile in their shoes. How about walking a hundred miles in their body?
honestly, the bit you were saying after day 4 honestly sounds a lot like what its like to be trans and try to act like your assigned gender while in public
I agree, I feel like phia just unlocked gender dysphoria here. I think its amazing that she was able to connect to the parts of her that are masculine though, it took me a while as a trans girl to realize that my masculine personality traits don't make me any less of a woman.
In this video phia discovers being "1 of the boys" is fun
People naturally give girls the benifit of the doubt
And that lying about who you are is challenging on an emotional level and a technical level
Overall.... Even in a world where you can be anyone and anything, people will still give you more shit if your girly and people will ignore you more if your more like a boy.
In other words phia learned if your a boy YOU NEED THE BOYS to have any kind of social life or a cute girlfriend. A dude by himself will get nowhere just because he is a dude, a girl by herself will get a swarm of people in a matter of minutes wanting to talk and give them avatars
Can confirm, I became so tired of it I just keep the girl avatar on at all time. So many free pass it's digusting, and the worst part is that I don't act different nor even pretend I'm a girl. It got to the point some dudes proposed to me then got really confused after realising that, indeed they knew I'm not a girl but they SOMEHOW totally forgot about it! How does one even forget about such a thing?! xD
Long story short, the self-expectations people create from the looks of others alone are insane...
This inspires me to explore my feminine side in VRChat. I get frustrated sometimes with trying to present in real life because of things beyond my control such as beard stubble, my voice, my hairline, my facial structure, etc. But VR is a whole other ballpark.
Laughs in "I've been a girl in VRchat since I made my account"
This mulan reboot is crazy (in all seriousness this was a very interesting experiment)
As a trans girl I have experienced a lot of this first hand, obviously in reverse but the differences of how you are treated is clear. I always hated being treated as a guy. I didn't know how to make friends like that, it seems hard.
"i didnt know how to make friends like that"
That is entirely in your head. You let the way other people treat you make you believe there was something wrong with you and feel like you had to change to be happy. You are the boy you have always been, you'vr just convinced yourself that you're happier pretending you a girl whe you could have just been the exact same person as you are now, without having to lie to yourself.
There was something about yourself you were unhappy about and rather than facing ot you put on a mask that allows you to ignore it. but it will always be there, eating away at you until you address whatever it actually is.
@@ge2719 So you've just gone through the comments section spamming hateful shit at random trans people? Please grow up.
@@ge2719 Can you not G E?
@Sasha Lemay wow what an obnoxious prick you are.
I'll do whatever i want thanks. I'll continue to try to help people, you can fart out meaningless false niceties and garbage platitudes if you like. but don't try to tell me what to do with a smug "thank you in advance for being reasonable".
you're not a good person. you're a abuser who puts on a smile and pats them self on the back. you'll reinforce peoples psychological issues and think you're helping them, but you might as well be stabbing them with a thousand cuts that you think is "being nice", like a sociopath you dont really care about others, you care about being seen as good. Put a few more smiley faces after your disgusting comment, it doesn't change the fact youre a terrible person.
@@ghosty0738 you people sure like to tell people what to do dont you. Sorry but yeah, i'm going to continue to tell people the truth and tell them they don't have to change, that they can accept themselves for who they are and will always be, and they can change their character to be whatever person they want. Sex is completely irrelevant, no one should feel happy or sad based on the reality of what the atoms in their body make their sex.
Can you stop defending those who will push this ideological nonsense that is causing people to harm themselves? can you do that? You dont have to, you can do whatever you want. but one day youre going to look back at this like we look at lobotomies now, as barbaric. how we look back on shock treatment, and conversion therapy. No one is born in the wrong body. to convince someone their body is "wrong" is disgusting. But you do you.
Super interesting video, had the exact opposite outcome than I was expecting. Definitely not wise to lie to yourself, VRChat and VR avatars are an interesting psychological tool but can cause some unnecessary dissociation if you spend too much time in them.
This might be your best video yet, really makes you think without forcing a particular narrative or viewpoint.
This was interesting! Fun seeing how your experiences kinda mirrored mine, to some extent, trying to get into the community. I kinda stopped playing VRchat because of the Day 1 and Day 4 experience you described. VRchat was one of the places I kinda tried experimenting really hard with being *myself* and what I’ve mainly found is people like me much more when I pretend not to be. It’s just another place where I’ve gotta put on a mask if I want people to like me, and I’ve got enough of that in the real world.
I’m a male, but I’ve been a woman in chat (non VR) once for the heck of it. What I found weird is Women get a lot more intrusive attention from strangers. I swapped back quick - definitely prefer being a dude lol.
i'm very fortunate to have this experience of "being one of the boys" most of the time with my friend group. They are all guys who are not interested in me romantically because i show them every part of me that is werid or disgusting and that no man would find cute or quirky lmao. This has brought us so close, we give dating advice to each other and we cheer each other up whenever depression gets the best of us. Im a fairly masculnie girl, not really attractive or anything but its nice having this sort of honest friendship. I've always struggled with making friends with other girls for some reason, no matter how hard i try. I use male avatars on vrchat and its when i feel the best, when i feel really like myself. (i think i might be nb so thats why). Anyway just needed to share my experience after seeing phia get emotional at 8:21
I used the male voice changer that made females sound like corpse pretty much, and within like the first day i already made 10 friends, which on the normal basis without the voice changer i can maybe make one or two friends if im lucky.
voices mean a lot more in this game than they should
I don't know what I was expecting, but I definitely did not expect to see a lot of aspects of being trans...
The dissociation, identity crises, feeling like you're lying, feeling like what people like of you is not *you*. I felt all this back when I was in the closet, and I still do. (Luckily I have some amazing friends who immediately accepted the "new" real me.)
Looking into a mirror and seeing someone that is supposedly you, but doesn't feel like the real you is... well lets stop that sentence there.
This was an amazing video and it was very interesting to see someone else's perspective of being someone else, and I'll probably refer to it when someone asks me what it's like "being trans".
I totally felt the same way!
“Why won’t people talk to me?” God I’d love for people to not talk to me where do I sign up lmao
This was certainly interesting. In normal games you can perform this same thing, but in VR Chat type systems it seems to be a more personal mirror of yourself. Voice changing is one thing, but movements (especially with full body trackers which I am so jealous of), attitude, etc. You aren't just typing or taking a moment to type, or even just voice changing in Discord/Teamspeak/Ventrillo/etc.
Honestly, I never thought of VR as a bastion for trans and other groups, but it really makes sense. On a non-super thoughtful watching, I always find it interesting when people become "guys" and see life is weirder/harder. Like the one person who went undercover as a guy in real life and found out that all the guys she hung out with bragged about and loved their wives and were hard workers. Even something like this where it's found out that just nobody cares to talk to you most of the time (even in real life), or are hyper aggressive until they get to know you. Heck, in real life you might have approached that girl and gotten maced by her. :p
But all in all, really, I'd be curious to see this same thing done in other VR communities. It also makes me curious about how LGBT folk handle VR in general. For those going for re-assignment surgery, VR could fill a gap in the processing and testing that is required. The social aspect, as a guy who is generally ignored in VR chat :p, never occurred to me that it could actually have honest therapy type situations.
This doesn't match my online experience at all...
So, I'm a woman (shh, don't tell anyone), and on the older side. Years ago, once the internet became widespread, I started visiting forums and chats, picked myself a girly name and a girly avatar, as you do. My interlocutors would often misgender me as a male (it's much more noticeable in my language than in english, you can hardly have a dialogue with someone without putting a gender to them in a process). I would laugh the first couple of times, be angry the second, and then just be confused and sad as it continued, then accepted it as a thing that happens. Lineage 2 then came out, and I hopped in, curious on what's this online gaming all about. Created couple of cute girl characters with cute girl names. Misgendering continued there. No girls on the internet, you understand. At one point it became easier to just let people assume what they assume and not correct them. There were cases with people being annoyed at being corrected about my gender, even angry with me.
Later I wanted to have a cool warrior character, and on a whim decided to create this new one as a guy. Aesthetics of my characters were always important to me, and in L2 if you wanted a warrior covered in armor, you could only go with a male, for them to be, you know, actually covered by that armor. And then the weirdest thing started to happen. So when playing as this new character, nothing about my presentation changed, I didn't change my speech patterns or cared to present more masculine, because my new character never was about what *other* people see me as, my characters are for me. And yet, for some reason, I started to get so much LESS random agression towards me. People were getting randomly pissed at me before, I started to think that's just the way of communicating in the internet. Not for my warrior guy! Everyone's fine with him! Everyone's okay with him being witty and joking around, as I always did. People would LISTEN to my instructions on how to defeat a hard boss and NOT go against them just to spite me! It was brilliant! I felt safe to start being FRIENDLY with strangers again without guys assuming I'm head over heels into them! Being treated like a human person, so rare before, that I started thinking it isn't there at all - oh no, it's there. Just not for my beatiful healer. But for cool warrior, who is in absolutely every way the same person, speaks the same, jokes the same, plays the same, but looks a guy.
No wonder that I kept him through years.
Playing him never felt like decieving. People already would think I'm a guy before, with a plus bonus of being agressive and condenseding, should I have felt like I was decieving them even then? It never in my life really meant much for me, being a girl or a guy, not much preference either way. But what did matter, is being treated like a human. My one character is seen as a human, and it is precious to me. And I am not pretending to be human, I actually am, and if there are other cosmetic ways through my avatar that would help strangers recognise me as a human person, I might probably add them to my avatar aswell.
Now years later in VRChat I have a cute and cool androgynous anime teen as an avatar, and it feels just right. Audience changed from ye olden days of early Lineage 2, and there is generally more acceptance of any kind than before.
So TL:DR is:
• Girl, playing as a guy,
• It doesn't feel weird or wrong
• Never felt like I'm decieving
• People generally treat my guy self better.
LOL what I had no idea it was you? hahahaha. I still got you on my friendslist from the day you joined Chroah and complimented my voice. You totally got me, Kudos to you I can't stop smiling, thank you for this!
It's like method acting, for me after playing a part it's like pull out apart of you. My hardest was playing a character that was opposite of my likes and personality. It took months to "fix" the thoughts and perceptions. I am glad I tried to be that character for musical and plays.
I really liked this video! Super interesting to see the difference, when I first started playing vrc I was most comfortable in guy avi’s, I actually wanted to get a voice changer just for the days I could really immerse myself in being a guy because I think it’s fun and fits my personality type more naturally. Seeing your reaction at 8:05 was super relatable. I remember getting pretty emotional at one point because of how much I enjoyed being the gender I unfortunately wasn’t born as so it can definitely be tough especially for people who are extremely uncomfortable in their own skin. Good job though, Overall great video!
Im genderfluid and tend to act sorta androgenous and act how I feel gender wise that day, it is humbling to have people interact with my eboy character and then I talk and sound sorta femme.. its funny to watch XD
this entire video is so cool to watch though
RIP that part where we were going to go ham as fellow eboys to my friends though.
RIP to what could have been 😭
that momento i see "why dont talk to me " is my existence on IRL
Dang, this is going to cause a massive wave of self-discovery. Awesome video! Glad you were able to see it through to the end.
8:08 Phia now one of the boys!
LETS GO LADS!!!
One of the things I really hate about being a guy is that people who don't know you will literally see you as a potential threat by default. Sadly we live in a world where people just have no choice but be on their toes when you, a stranger guy is trying to approach them to strike up a conversation, or coincidentally walking in the same direction as someone else in a dark alley. I hate the real predators and the scumbags who made this a reality. And if you are in a heteronormative relationship, be your partner whatever gender, if you are the one perceived as the traditionally masculine one, and something's going down, an argument, whatever, it is just "probably your fault" or that you are the aggressor anyways and if there was a victim in that situation, it's your partner and it can never be you. I am a transguy by the way and I started coming out and transitioning at 21, so I have had my share of experiencing the world through female presenting people's eyes as well and over all, I feel like if everyone else had to spend some time (couple years) living as their opposite gender as well, and I mean by truly immersing themselves just like how Phia did in this video, the world would be much more empathetic and perhaps we could finally tear the beast that is the social constructed genders down for good and start treating people as individuals and not as the so-called-gender that they intentionally or unintentionally represent.
As someone who plays a lot of rollplaying games and table top rpg games I get what you where saying about the feeling comfortable being that other person and them feeling like a part of you. When you set yourself into a roll it can effect the way you think about stuff. It's one reason i have played several characters with different personalities and interests than me. I like to try and understand what it's like being that other person.
This was fun to watch and im glad you got to have this experience.
Wow… I believe I actually met you randomly at one point as him… never knew