REJECTING WOMEN is a SKILL: wanting is free, giving is costly
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- Опубліковано 28 лют 2023
- There is an inherent asymmetry between wanting and giving: wanting is free, but giving is costly. This is why wanting is such a good interpersonal strategy, and why -- the more successful you become as a man -- the more you should expect more women to want more things from you. However, your time, energy, and money are limited quantities that cannot be doled out on request. So learning to reject women is a skill. In this episode, I discuss some of the beliefs that prevent men from doing this effectively.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#women #psychology #relationship
Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
There is an inherent asymmetry between wanting and giving: wanting is free, but giving is costly. This is why wanting is such a good interpersonal strategy, and why -- the more successful you become as a man -- the more you should expect more women to want more things from you. However, your time, energy, and money are limited quantities that cannot be doled out on request. So learning to reject women is a skill. In this episode, I discuss some of the beliefs that prevent men from doing this effectively.
Social Media
Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/
Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks
Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban
Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:
ua-cam.com/channels/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw.htmljoin
Book a paid consultation:
oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations
Sponsor an episode:
oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode
Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#women #psychology #relationship
After divorce, women try to eradicate the children (hah now we're doing a duet!)
Yes Sir! I have your link all over. This masterpiece of yours must be propagated to men. And I never married because of her just wanting and wanting and that was with every woman I accosted in my life. I see women as insolent evil entities who once showed up in my life they would screw everything up for me.
glad you are not my husband
@@1Sun111 Glad I am not a woman.
@@1Sun111 he seems like an impossible ai. He's actually real though. It's scary how much of the natives Andrew Jackson gave biblical names to. They were supposed to be like medals. And afterwards, he said he dueled all the natives and won. What a creep. Do you have any money? I can be your financial advisor and ...owner of your money if you Really want
Even our own mothers and female family members raise us to to become simps
You can't ask a fish how to catch a fish
We now have a simp society, ruled by female values, where their desires are the goal.
Very true
Absolutely. My sisters cannot stand that I see through female demands.
@@FergusHodgson exactly, loyalty to sisterhood always comes first even before fairness and justice
'Women generally don't stick around when you have nothing left to give'
Damn. That hit home hard.
Absolutely true
it's better not to give anything , no deed goes unpunished , that's for sure
Yeah man… the first time I heard OT say that I was like, jeez, women are harsh… the more I hear him say it though, the more I understand women for being like that
more painful is when you have everything they want but they dont want you .... but they want what you have because you dont have game
Hit home for a lot of us, I'm afraid...
I once rejected a girl and she asked my friend if i was gay. they simply cannot fathom rejection is not a part of their lexicon. its a true story.
Got the same treatment because I don't case or respond to sex like a carrot to a donkey. Sex is like the advertising not the product. Once you get what looks good your left baffled by how good it is not.
Did this with a long term girlfriend and she broke up with me the next day. They simply can't deal with it.
You must be gay because any man would want to be with her.
Let's correct that - Any SIMP would want to be with her.
@@mmmddd4366 Same here. If you take away needing what's between their legs they have actually nothing to bring to the table.
But you didn't say: were you gay?
Never feel guilty for rejecting a girl.
I never did feel guilty. Its my preference and that's it. There is no need to justify it. Especially you don't need to justify yourself now that we are called names for having preferences.
Women never fell guilty rejecting men, seems right to do the same.
@@Golden_Ghoul It is not true. Pls do not generalise. Woman.
@@karolink3684but women also say that man should know how to behave with a woman. Which means that all woman are the same because otherwise how do men know how to behave with woman which is uniq?
@@lpi3 It means I was wrong. I am not a woman. I do not expect what you've mentioned above. I believe in open comunication between people and that every man and woman has his/her personality
Regardless of whether rejecting women provides any future benefit in your romantic endeavors , it's important to keep your dignity. It's better not to have a woman than to have one that doesn't respect you. She will soon replace you. Or worse yet, to chase one that is not interested. That almost never works.
Never sell your values by an opportunity. If a proposal goes against it, be polite and reject it. Do not engage in any battle or in further talk around it. Some women are manipulative and opportunistic to her needs, assume the consequences of your actions while rejecting. Keep moving forward.
I've done the "chasing" thing one to many times. No more though.
Im super done with women. It always revolves around money.
I've always went the prostitutes route and when i tried to get involved in a non-transactional relationship she asks me for "rent" money.
No there's no such thing as "free sex" with women and therefore i am done.
@@theuncanspan 100%🎯
@robertfindley921 Get real, times and fems have CHANGED. Unless you have status, money or are jacked, you not gonna get hardly any Modern fems "CHASING" you!
Being single is far better than being in a relationship with a woman you can't say no to.
Maybe you need to man up and say NO
And much better is to be with women and be able say "no".
Because you love her too much it becomes spoiling and enabling toxicity. I learned and realized even at times we must be stern and say no and watch them breakdown all for the better good of a goal that benefit both in the long run
Why would you be with such woman in the first place!
Say no? It's a skill you will need if you ever have kids.
My wife regularly rejected my sexual advances. No big deal - I learned to redirect this energy in other avenues: work out, weed the garden, work in the shop, etc. But the handful of times - over a 17yr relationship - when she initiated but I wasn't feeling it? Holy shit! The browbeating, the gnashing of teeth, the incredible double-standard! Women simply cannot handle even the slightest of rejection - even after a decade of marriage.
How is it going? I’m really interested
I agree with that, woman don't follow soft rejection trick.
Get a side piece
She doesn’t respect you. That’s why she treats you poorly. And you accept it
@@derrick2181 This guy gets it. As a man, our only true power is the willingness to walk away. The moment a woman senses that you aren't, she loses all respect for you.
It took me a long time to learn this but rejections often were the best things that ever happened to me, in both business and relationships.
Why do you say so?
I built a business by being rejected by 90 percent of the prospects. In relationships rejections led to massive self improvement. The next woman was usually younger hotter and a better fit. Rejections create a space for growth and opportunity.
Good outlook
@@iacangelofinancialgroup1580 Rejections in business don't feel as personal though, but you are correct. It's best to have the same mindset for both.
The bald potato commentator is immensely rare. 😆🤣🤣
Whenever you start to feel bad for a woman, consider if she would do the same if you were in her position. 9 times out 10 your sympathy with instantly disappear.
This down to the T. Women are the biggest rejectors.
This is exactly how I keep my head straight whenever I begin to feel sympathy towards a woman. I ask myself “what if the roles were reversed?”. Works like a superpower…sympathy vanishes.
true; my so-called wife wouldn't do a tenth of what I've done for her over the years. And if I did a tenth to her what she has done to me, the relationship would have been over before it started. The training the Dr tells us about it absolutely true. I recall my mother telling me how badly my father treated her (justification for her infidelity) and silly movies in the 90s such as 'What Women Want.' My God.
She was diplomatic. They say diplomacy is the art of telling someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.
I am a master at rejecting women, I can do it without even opening my mouth.
Me too, they don't even approach me because they already know what is coming to them.
It took me decades to realize that seeing my mother so distraught over my father leaving when I was 7 was why I've stayed in relationships I didn't want to be in for YEARS after I should have left.
When you reject a woman she will get mad and tell all her friends you are a bad person. The last thing they want is to see their friend get with you. It's very hard to reject a woman with out her getting bent out of shape and then wanting to get back at you. I just pretend I didn't understand their advances as advances and walk away or say I have a girl I like. Be careful men.
A technique I thought of after no longer needing to use it (having done many bad rejections in my younger years).
Was:
"I find you really attractive, but I know our energies don't match. I can feel there is a mismatch."
If she is in to all the "energies" stuff it is a valid emotional argument that affirms her attractiveness but is a rejection.
If she doesn't believe in the "energies" nonsense then you appear feminine and odd and she will loose attraction immediately.
I haven't road tested this as I thought of it too late. But I could see it working with almost all the women I had to reject over the years.
Correct it must be covert, ignore, stonewall and ghost till they disappear. Or it might cost you.
Let them talk to their friends (competition) about how upset they are that you rejected them. It's free advertising. They will see through the tantrum and assume that you must have a lot of value for her to be so emotional over losing you. Next thing you know all those friends want to get closer to you
Good tactic chief
Boy is that true. I dated a gal for 2 years who often disrespected me when I showed too much affection and attention. Whenever I ignored her and started a breakup, she would first get angry and then breakdown and throw herself at me. She would offer all kinds of sex just to keep me from other women. Female nature is so tiresome.
If you can't reject anyone that just means you are lacking self-respect and not placing boundaries for yourself as well. It gives people power to always get what they want from you but if you learn to reject them when necessary the power balance shifts as you are holding on to yours and they are losing theirs; you do not rise above them but are again on equal terms.
Rejection is an art with women. It took me to my late 20's to start getting that right and his comments about 'options' was part of that. I was prior reluctant to 'lose the girl' even when my healthy boundaries were being crossed. Once I had my first house and things were coming together for me, I started enforcing my boundaries more. Although I was 'having more options', I was seeing nearing my 30's that a lot of divorced and women with children (from other men) started becoming some of those 'options' as well. Essentially women looking for a second chance or their 'next best option' until another comes along (aka: 'just your turn' women). In short, I had a lot more 'options' but a lot of them were bad options. Now that I had a house, I knew I needed to vet these women more effectively (as you don't often know her 'back story' up front). The 'best' rejection was the one for women, on the first date, who were 'feeling you out' for cohabitation. I'd say "I don't do 'live in' girlfriends" and continue the date... but some would argue to no effect... and just 'lose interest' which is what I wanted (rejecting their intentions). Then the 'time bandits' that wanted me to spend all my time with them and I wouldn't. Somewhere along the lines of "you're really fantastic but if I give you what you want, I'll be miserable and if I get what I want you'll be miserable and I simply can't see us both happy in this relationship and I think we both deserve happiness..." (seems to create enough 'confusion' to escape a 'win-lose' situation with a lady in a positive assertion). You can enforce your boundaries without it coming to conflict and drama. When it comes to money, I've always followed my father's advice: "Never loan more money than you can afford to lose". I've had ladies asking for money under the guise of 'help' (it's not help, that's code for 'aid' and often enabling them... which makes you part of the problem 'doing it' and enabling them). However, that healthy boundary is "I give to my church... but I may make a loan for you". Loaning a lady money is one of the best ways to reject them when they don't pay you back (or have the audacity to ask for more before paying you back). Never a large amount (maybe $50) but you'll see a grifter real quick and she'll stop calling you if you tell her every time she calls that you need that money and her credit is not good with you until she does (note: I discovered this 'trick' to get rid of gold diggers... money well spent as you're essentially paying them $50 to 'go away' and not eating your time with bs as that's less than I was making for an hour of my work as opposed to continued hours of having to deal with a lady like that). If you stick to no cohabitation, only 'loaning' money and letting the 'time bandits' know you both can't be happy and you don't want them miserable (as you aren't going to give up that time)... you'll filter out a lot of undesirables. One other item is don't do 'favors'. Make a 'deal' where they do something in return. Easy things like I'll help you move but you need to 'make me a dinner' or 'clean my house' or something. TINSTAFL. Only close friends and family get 'favors'. Church gets 'charity' (or wives). Everybody else 'makes a deal'. I found that, as I got older, I got a LOT more options _but_ a LOT more 'bad options' (aka: good options are in the minority so you have to sort through the garbage to find them).
Let me tell you brother, it’s always been like this throughout the entirey of Humanities existence. The point is, there is no right women. Every women is the wrong women.
As long as Chad appears most women are willing to give everything up. You could be Chad yourself but you can get out chadded by any bigger meaner manlier Chad.
The main point of this is if you invest on yourself there is going to be an absolute 100% return, no questions asked. If you invest in women you MIGHT get that 150% return, but with the HIGH risk of losing everything. Don’t take such chances. It is akin to gambling
@JamesJones-That’s a good strategy if you want only short term transactional “relationships”; and it’s even a good way to protect yourself early in a relationship that may (or may not) later become serious. But if you’re not open to sharing your life with the right person on a less adversarial basis-and you don’t communicate that you won’t act like this forever if she turns out to be “the one”-then you never WILL get that lifelong genuine partnership (and kids if you want them) with a quality woman.
If on the other hand all you want, for the rest of your life, is a series of transactional “situationships”-AND you make sure not to conceive any kids-go for it!
É muito trabalho para pouco retorno. Você deveria desistir logo.
Came to the comment section to read more examples of how the man can turn down a woman. James Jones was helpful.
@@terry9238
None of the women he mentioned in his scenario are good women. Any woman that isnt in a committed relationship with you and asks for money is not a quality woman...for you. She wants you to pay for her time. And women that want you totally enmeshed into their life probably has some BPD going on. And a man certainly doesnt want to cohabitate with a woman he hasnt completely vetted for several years. There are thousands of examples of women cohabitating, accusing the property owner of dv and he is out on the streets.
This dude is spitting straight facts!!! The more I learned to ignore women as well as reject them, the more attracted to me they became. Also, almost every time ice rejected a girl within a shared social circle, they started bashing due to the lack of that emotional callus.
He should spit on you! 😆😆😆
The reasons for dating women = basically so you can show off arm candy and have a pretty box for your climax otherwise everything else can be done with normal friends.
The reasons for *NOT* dating women = they cheat thus risk giving you STDs, they require lots of money plus lots more money as the relationship evolves, they may steal your money in divorce or without divorce, they drain time away from your career, goals and hobbies, they are sometimes emotionally unstable, statistically they are known for monkey_branching and breaking your heart, they might baby trap you thus at least 18 or more years of child support, the courts favor women for any scenario and when you really upset them or one of their female friends they can file a false police report then spam on social media which will cripple your future career and social circles.
Think with your correct head and you'll see there's MANY reasons to avoid women the same way you would avoid a grizzly bear.
Agreed. It's much easier to reject than have to walk away years later. I know from experience.
Yes. Don’t just marry the first one that comes your way
@@mark9294don't get married EVER.
My mother has held my family emotional hostage for decades because she’s a narcissist. If we don’t do everything to satisfy her insecurities she stonewalls, gaslights and snipes vicious comments to degrade and belittle us.
Men, this is what happens when you give into women and satisfy their every emotion. They turn into literal monsters. Protect yourself by setting healthy boundaries, and stay away if there’s no meaningful apology followed by a change of behaviour.
Your Father should be ashamed of himself for not checking her & nipping that in the bud.
I am really sad about life history, and for me it is hard to to mention how to grow up under a umepathic, abusive narcissist.
But a women is in most cases not a narcissist, even if they use narcisstic traits from time to time. It exist indeed more female narcissists than usually anticipated, but definitely in the 3-5 percent range.
Sounds like you and I could talk for hours, I have the same problem. Now, I just refuse to entertain any form of conversation when she turns into that monster.
@@marlonhengtgen3004 I hope you find a way to understand the situation and get help for the resulting damage from having this kind of relationship in early childhood. It affected me in ways I couldn’t even imagine but once I understood I could see the thread that attached everything together. It took me 5 years but I’ve changed my perspective completely, I hope the same for you friend.
@@sandwich-breath Hey thanks, I do appreciate that. It's nice to know other people fight through the same BS. Definitely a timely process, as you alluded to, but I'm beginning to piece it all together.
The easiest way to reject women without hurting their feelings is to act like a super boring nice guy towards them. Show weakness. They will lose interest in no time.
Tell em you're broke
Ask to borrow money, tell them you’re on pills, shave in a fake receding hairline. Also chew with your mouth open and blow cigarette smoke in their face whenever possible. Whenever you’re out and about, point at every guy that walks by and tell her how you could “totally take that guy out” if you wanted to. If she’s ever in your car, leave bottles of piss all over the passenger seat, when she tries to get in, tell her she can “just toss those in the back”. Drive extremely recklessly, offer to race every car that pulls up next to you at a stoplight. Make sure to play the weirdest songs on the stereo, the stuff you usually put on when nobody else is in the car. Everytime she looks at her phone, ask her what she’s doing, who’s she texting etc, and then wave your hand in front of the screen. Always take off your shirt whenever possible especially if you’re not in shape, then flex and tell her to feel your arms (bonus points if you’re really skinny or really fat). Talk about your interests with genuine passion, except whenever she tries to participate, cut her off and tell her you weren’t finished and continue to ramble. Start crying randomly, when she asks what’s wrong tell her you’re afraid she won’t like you. Put in white contacts and pretend to burn up in the sun like a vampire whenever you’re outside. If she asks what you do for a living, say “I do what I can” then stare out a window longingly.
If she is still interested in you after that you have to marry her out of principle. Sorry, I don’t make the rules
Just tell them you're moving back with your mother and the first thing that has to go are the drapes. You prefer taupe, not mustard yellow.
That is not rejection bro 😕
@@mechadonia this made me giggle hahahaha
Only 3 minutes in and I'm already taking lots of value from your content. My time and energy shouldn't be given away for nothing. Thank you for the reminder
I gotta play this one on repeat every day as a self reminder. The amount of time I’ve given to women over the years smh The return on investment was not worth it in hindsight. But that’s on me
Been there bro
Thanks for taking responsibility here, but i must disagree a bit. It is not entirely on you. We have ALL been conditioned this way! You were a victim of your conditioning as much as the rest of us ( not a fan of using the V word Victim, but its appropriate here)
I swear this happened to me😂
A girl I was dealing with told me she was using me for sex
I walked away feeling like a million dollars 😂
"So you admit that the sex was good?"
Congratulations on being used! LOL I have never been used for anything but my money . . . .
Why would you walk away from a deal like that? You're an imbecile. Sex with no other ties or commitments.........you had it good!
Consider her one among the harems, my friend. Sex seems more costly to women than men, so take it as your utility.
Gawd damn soooonnnnn
I've just turned turned 72 been married 4 times bivorced same and have only just got this message thank you for such a strong reinforcement of this realisation this social arrange ment has cost me my life and hundreds of thousands of dollars and watching my two daughters grow up ,it is absolute tirany
Married 4 times? Are you a masochist?
I’m 43 and its cost me my life (so far), life savings, and I’m currently missing out on watching my two young children grow up. It is something like tyranny.
I’m sorry for your pain. Until men consciously and collectively start withholding their fertility, women and government will continue to crush fathers like lemons for the juice.
@@childfreesingleandatheist8899 No, a perfectionist! LMAO
@@marshallthomas2239 Preach! Im right there with you, man! Good luck!
Yep, it's about time for a men's liberation movement, don't ya think?
If you truly want to end up loathing and despising a woman; all you have to do these days is marry one, try and do all the "right things" for her and just wait.
LOL sounds like my marriage! i worked my tail off to make her happy! Guess what: it didnt work!
I agree. I think women lose respect for men the moment men commit to them. Funny thing is: if you took a group of 18 year old boys and asked them to sit in the back of divorce court for a week, many men would consider marriage.
@@scottbriggs4960 you mean guys would reject marriage as an option if they ever sat in a divorce courts
Been there feeling it right now. So true
You decide to despise a woman, she doesn't make you despise the game but only your own...
Your reaction is more or less how I handled my ex breaking up with me. She even responded with something like "you're allowed to get upset and annoyed, you know...". I think she was expecting me to take it harder than I did since I'm a pretty sensitive soft-spoken guy, but I know better than to get too attached.
She said that cause she felt on a pedestal
Yes, you're likely right. Probably why she broke things off anyway. That was a decade ago though so I've learned my lesson.
Yes, never get too attached.
"But I know better than to get too attached."
Good luck with the healing. ALL relationships end, know when to hold and when to let go.
This is sad, what has the world done to us. I'm beginning to think no one is meant to be happy.
Getting rejected is a normal part of dating that everyone experiences at some point. Rejecting people is an essential life skill for everyone. We will regularly be put into situations where we need to say NO. This can be difficult at first but it takes practice. There are people who are more manipulative than others, and better at doing so successfully than others, and there are also people whose personalities make them more easily susceptible to manipulation. Thanks.
I have learned the hard way that being honest with women and saying why I don’t want to go any further with them or waste their time, causes them to hate me, and even spread lies about me in certain cases. I’ve also watched guys who are highly manipulative just ghost the same women or make them feel like they were the ones that were wrong and those same women adore those guys.
And i have seen the xact oppoaite. Ive seen wpmen get rejected and juat move on.
@@PolishBehemoth You have met the only unicorn in existence! cool story, Bro! LOL
It's true. For women and small minded men, perception is reality. Although I still prefer using the honest approach, I know there are certain women I've dated that I couldn't use that with because they would go nuts.
I would advise against the honest approach with rejection. I think this is a common misconception because from the male point of view, when we are rejected we want to know how we could improve. That is the number one question that eats away at a guy, even if 'what he did wrong' is something out of his control. We're raised to tackle problems and approach rejection with a problem-solving mindset.
Women by contrast just aren't. All people regardless of gender do not want advice when they don't want advice. What impact do you think telling an alcoholic to 'sober up' really has on them? It's arrogant to think it has any impact at all, even if it's preceded by you rejecting them/cutting them out of your life (say as a friend). The only time advice will help someone is when they ask for it.
Giving advice makes *you* feel good. It doesn't help someone who isn't ready and willing to hear it. And as you've found out, not only does it not help them in any way, it can backfire on you. Those guys who said nothing did not, in their minds, try to 'fix' or belittle them the way that you did by giving them unwanted advice.
That just sounds like verbal ju-jitsu and emotional intelligence. Adopt the strategy, it appears to work.
All people should master the art of rejecting others. It's part of being civil.
Beautiful advice. Not every relationship will work out. Don’t be hurtful about it.
After intense therapy, building up my single life again, embracing new projects and minding my own business, I've found myself rejecting girls I would have considered at the very least for open relationships some time ago.
Not by the dozens but, man, pre-Covid I wouldn't have rejected ANY girl.
It still feels new and unfamiliar, but the peace and focus it gives is HUGE.
When I was 13/14 years old my mom was rejected by a guy at a small party, all he did was say no thank you, and kinda give her a 2nd harder No with stiff hand 🤚 done politely without touching.
15 minutes later 2 big guys were beating him at this ultra upscale party.
She framed him and said he was a child molester and that he molested me by the back bathroom.
Nope, never happened.
She dug her nails into my arm and threatened me with both violence and loss of my cherished bicycle 🚴 which I needed to get to school and to have friends and do errands.
The poor guy was the kinda guy I wanted to be as far as smooth energy and attractiveness was concerned.
Kinda like Keanu Reeves vibe.
Reject women wisely or anything can happen, especially with the sun specials known as Feminas Americanas.
Yes my mother was psycho, and did other bad things, really bad, she was also hot, and well dressed.
He could detect her negative vibe! Poor guy!
Was she ever diagnosed as a sociopath?
That's why I have rejected women in front of other people. You never know what kind of hate they hide in their hearts.
Absolutely disgusting! Fems are EASILY MISLED by darkness ie. Chads, con men, snakes. Since the dawn of time they were Deceived. So its their nature to be DECEPTIVE to get what they want. It ALL goes back to Adam and Eve and the SERPENT fellas! 💃🍎🐍💯Don't be fooled.
Just this Saturday 5 March 2023, I said no to a girl who just wanted my money more than she wanted me. She than proceeded to set me up saying I should come pick her up.
A skill that was difficult for me to learn, but has been life changing since I did. Another good one!
Literally going to watch this every day for month... until it sinks in.
Why would I want to inflate her ego as I reject her though?
Like, if I'm rejecting her, 95% of the time it's because of her character flaws. I want her to know precisely why I'm rejecting her so when she gets the same responses from other men she can understand all men see the same problem with her.
The last thing if want is for her to have such an inflated self worth she thinks all men must be beneath her.
Because she WONT listen to you! Women are like children! They dont WANT to improve ( the way men do), they only want what they want and they dont care about why! So telling her the 'truth' wont hewlp anyone, and may hurt you, because they are allergic to the truth! This should not be your problem, but vindictive women will make it your problem. Just cut bait, and move on! Thats why he suggests it this way. Women are not logical like men are, they are emotional and volatile! Stop treating women like you would a man. It wont work.
You can do both. Give a real compliment followed by the reason she doesn't match what you're looking for. This isn't rocket science guys. Women are much simpler than guys think.
I see your point, but see it a bit differently. I look at from the viewpoint if we tell them what is wrong, we simply teach them how to better manipulate the next guy.
@@jerrybruckhart9134 bro playing 4D chess
@@Tushar_Talwar_09 Gotta learn how the female mind works bro, bros before hoes.
It's important for everyone (men and women) to remember to be kind when rejecting people in your life, be they family, friends or romantic partners. What you put out there comes back to you
Totally. You don't have to be an ass about it, to belittle or mock the person. That's just shows they were justified in not taking interest in the first place.
I agree with you in theory, and I'm able to just ease away from unwelcome advances without doing damage or harm, but I have little to no sympathy for women anymore. I know their true nature. They hate themselves for wanting a man, and so they disrespect us.
Just fuck your fist. 😅
Finally we have credible men like this having the courage to discuss these things.
A woman (romantic, family, friend) leaving your life because you won't do what they want isn't creating a "vacancy". It's shedding dead skin. As men, we have no responsibility for "making" them feel good about setting boundaries with them or saying no. Say what needs to be said, nothing more. After that, how they feel/respond is their responsibility.
Learning to reject them politely isn't about them, it's about you. Ask any guy who's worth his salt, and he'll tell you bluntly rejecting a woman will cause her to go bonkers.
@@griffferguson3039they don’t always go bonkers, but even if they do… that’s they’re problem not yours. I 100% agree that you should reject politely. Don’t embarrass her, don’t be a dick. But you should also have no problem being completely honest about why you rejected her and don’t lie or play games either. Again, if they throw a fit, that’s their problem not yours.
The easiest way to end a relationship is simply to let the woman reject you. I've never had a problem with getting women to reject me.
Weird flex but okay
What do you mean?
@@diegoorozcohernandez7287 Usually I have to make a pretty significant effort to be with a woman. If I ever get tired of the situation, all I have to do is to back it off a little bit - Say she wants me to pick her up somewhere. I show up but I'm a few minutes late. I'm giving her a subtle reminder her that I'm my own man, and I'm not completely under her control. That seems to do the trick. Next time I call she isn't available.
@@martymcfly1776 you're a fucking chad, thanks for the advice
@@muhammadyusuf8541 it's not that weird. I get what he's saying. Better to let the woman think she's won the relationship. Woman have more power these days then you could possible imagine. From child support to taking half your homes mortgage. As men the cards are stacked against us.
This is actually something I really needed to see. I have been thinking about this recently and was considering rejecting some women who have been kind of giving me signals. Thank you
My uncle divorced his first wife in the way she thinks he saved her by doing so. He later married 3 times on ladies 15-25 years younger. He passed away and his first wife still appreciates him he didn't make her a widow. This guy was a legend
Great advice...
If women ever actually want you. Kinda hard to learn to reject women when there is never any women to reject.
Really? Even these days? I am likely in the same boat as you, but even I am shocked by how many more opportunities I have gotten recently, than before? Do you gym? Definitely make good use of the gym, if you dont already! I am far from a chad, but i have an athletic (not muscular) build now, and i can get attention these days. I am average looks on my better days, so im certainly far from being a chad. Perhaps you dont recognize the attention you get AS attention because you arent used to having it. Good luck, bud!
@@inconnu4961 I go to the gym, and I've ended up looking quite a bit like Daniel Craig in Casino Royale, just not as tall. It's meant I get a lot more attention in recent years. The trouble is, none of it is sincere. They just want men to bait in order to give them free attention (ideally free MEAT - money, energy, attention, time). So I test them, and sure enough, they all try to bait. So I give them pretty much nothing, and they soon get the hint.
@@EE12CSVT yep, sad that for older men no attention from women is sincere, it's all about fulfilling their long list of wants.
How do you test them??
@@hillsideonly They usually ask me out, and I typically agree. They then stutter, come up with lengthy excuses, or just ghost me from then on.
@@EE12CSVT oh right not surprised, they assume you're some simp that'll serenade them and pay for dinners after asking you out.
As someone who has never had an issue with getting a woman, I can tell you that no matter how awesome you may be, women will become accustomed to everything you have to offer. It never ends until you reset them .
This video has the potential of saving the viewer from wasting very large amounts of time, money and energy on relationships with little or no real value. MUCH appreciated.
You have packed more succinct information and useful advice in 9:31 than most content creators on this subject spew out in 2 hours.
Such a great channel. Keep up the amazing work. The way you explain how male and female dynamics are on a psychological stand point is 100%
Block, ghost and avoid. These are the magical words. Also dont co habit and put rings on fingers because the moment she starts fking with your well being both financially or emotionally you have a easy and fast exit out of the situation. Also if you buy a house, a car or whatever make sure a womens name is not in the papers.
Binding Financial Agreements / Prenups are an absolute must.
This idea that if you reject women they will likely spread lies or try to taint your reputation is also the case at work. Some weeks ago I refused to do something for a female co-worker at the weekend after she asked me in a suspicious way (suspicious in the sense of being too nice with the intention of extracting more goodwill from me), and next time I met her at work she make kind of a big deal of it when talking to another female colleague when I was near them in the sense of "I'm sure he cursed me a lot on the weekend", which I didn't, I just responded to her request after quite some hours saying "next week I do that".
I am a chill guy so I just smiled at them when she was saying that.
You also have to learn to say no in work relationships too, this is something I had to learn the hard way some years ago after not refusing any extra work that people asked me, I ended up burnt out and now I take things more lightly.
I now say no to women just to test them. If they respond negatively then I never do anything for them but if they respect me saying no and act normal I'm more inclined to help them.
Great advice. For men who aren’t invisible. And for men who are simping
Keep grinding brother!
I remember you. I used to follow your channel until I realized how you would always make a point of mentioning the race of bad white women but would almost never mention the race of of the bad black or brown women. In other words, your racism was showing.
This video actually helps me as a lesbian. Especially the scarcity mentality. It’s hard to reject women. But I have been doing it lately. The result? They usually come back around in one way or another, wondering how I could have rejected them. I also get rejected. And I usually just go away. No begging or chasing. My main focus is me and my life. If a woman wants to be in my life and treat me respectfully… come on in. But as soon as I detect a red flag, they’re out
I could never imagine never rejecting. The women I would have been with give me the cold shivers.
How can you put up with never rejecting?
You gotta give everybody a fair chancw right? No!
People won't view you as straight nor lesbian. You said you were a lesbian right. So that means going on a red pill don't fit the theme of being a lesbian. At least get 1 romantic female partner and then you can reject other women just to stay faithful to your current romance female partner. Part of a skill in rejecting can also mean knowing how to stay in a committed relationship with just 1 partner. So you can have at least 1 woman in your life and if another woman attempts to seduce you, you say no to that other woman. So if you currently have 1 girlfriend, you say to that other woman like this. Sorry I have a girlfriend. That way, you can still be a lesbian and nobody else can override your decision. Think about this. Why is it a man with a girlfriend would say sorry I have a girlfriend? That same rule can apply to you right after you get at least 1 girlfriend.
Thank you for bringing up how having a tyrannical maternal experience can build the assumption that all relationships are, by default, exactly like that - tyrannical, judgmental, shaming, etc. Some of us feel (as you've described) locked in this belief without realizing there are alternative "formats" to exist within, regarding relationships with women. I'd be very appreciative to hear more on this! Thanks!
This man is a complete legend! Your content is very much appreciated sir
Granting 'less attention' & caring evokes the message.
But when you ask women what do they bring to the table they get pissed off.
Because saying "my body" is embarrasing for people who believe that worth can only be earned.
That’s why you don’t ask. You just observe
@@Wingedmagician I have observed for the past 5 years and I can tell you honestly that 99.9 % of women don't bring anything to the table. There is a very small minority that are worth the effort but for the most part they’re just entitled creatures
Because they automatically know the question is related to their pu$$ies. Strip away all the talk of stability, companionship, status, etc., and to them it comes down to the fact that women believe they are sitting on a gold mine. And it pisses them off because you know it, too.
@M Qui 🤡🤡 your shaming tactics don't work. Why don't you answer the question??
I believe that allowing yourself to reject, is connected to allowing to be rejected.
"Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip."
- Winston Churchill
Hey I had a situation similar to yours, I did not want to continue to the next step in a relationship because I was afraid of losing myself, so I told her and she understood. It took a lot of courage to tell her face to face but it turned out very good. Thanks for the affirmation.
Literally laughed out loud with the “Ok - thanks for letting me know”……perfect 😂
Just discovered your channel and for what its worth I think you’re striking a much needed tone and threading an important needle. Please keep the content coming.
Only now that this video started to click and make sense is it's fullest version
thanks for the wisdom you provide and you have all my support in your journey
This has happened to me many times. Usually it was a genuine friend that I respected that tried to elevate the relationship even though I was uninterested and they were able to turn on a dime when I politely suggested that maybe we should just stay friends. Nothing aggressive. Nothing crazy. But they'd get upset and hurt, especially since they were the ones making the move. Not all guys want "just anyone".
part of it is that women don't understand men. the guys who want "just anyone" don't want a long term relationship. as someone already in your friends group you already have a long term relationship with her, not the one she wants, but it means she is already disqualified from the pump and dump pool. for most women it is inconceivable that you could want sex with an individual, but not a relationship, or actively refuse to have a relationship with them.
Women HATE being rejected! Their egos are SO fragile!
Some key words to watch out for in the future: 'suggested' and 'maybe' - these words are weak; they lack confidence and conviction. If a server at a restaurant asks you what you want and you say 'maybe the grilled chicken' they are annoyed. It is not their job to figure out what you want, that is something you should communicate clearly and decisively- even more so when the stakes are higher than just what food you want that evening. If ordering *food* with those words from a *stranger* is disrespectful at such incredibly low stakes, imagine how disrespectful it is to treat someone approaching you for a serious relationship that way. It's both condescending (implying you don't care all that much about the outcome) and an attempt to divert responsibility away from yourself in a cowardly way.
Additionally: 'should stay just friends' nobody, man or woman, wants to hear this. I don't know why people do this. I mean, I do know why, but it's the epitome of selfishness and carelessness. Think through what you're saying: "I value having you in my life, I want to spend time with you, but I'm never going to give you what you want from me." That isn't something that anyone who worked up the courage to confess/pursue a more serious relationship wants to hear. Nor is it something you should be offering in the first place. Own your rejection and let them sort out their own feelings first. Anything else ("We can still be friends") is disingenuous and manipulative. It's the male way of stringing someone along- we might think it's more 'honest' because we make our intentions known, but by not being firm in the rejection you're leaving that door open for them.
@@inconnu4961that's why they hardly ever make the first move.
That is a nauseatingly disingenuous way to reject someone. "I don't think our interests or intentions are aligned" will remain my go to response. I want to leave people's future relationships better than when I found them. By focusing on interests and intentions it says that it's not personal, but that who we are as a whole won't work in unison. It teaches the other person to evaluate new facets of compatibility that could lead to a more fulfilling relationship in the future.
I agree
Wow this is nice and clean
Agreed. Every single point he’s making is 100% true and legit but his suggested method for rejection is just…so strange and FEMININE. It reeks of cowardice and some sort of odd callousness. Just be direct, don’t mince words, don’t play mind games. “This isn’t working/Im not interested because X/Y, no hard feelings.”
Like who gives a FUCK if a woman feels better after you reject them? Since when is a woman’s ever changing and fickle feelings our responsibility or a reason for me to not be forthright and honest? What is this crap
@@lewisgann280 By a show of hands, how many people here are psychologists? Any one? anyone at all? Speak to women in the only language they understand: Lying! The man makes a good point, even though I understand where you all are coming from. i have felt the same way as you, BUT . . . .women cant handle the truth! They WANT to be lied to! Thats how you got their attention in the first place, remember? Thats how you got them in bed with you? Why now, all of a sudden, do we have morals here? LOL Women do NOT mind being lied to because they are lying to everyone themselves and they KNOW it! It is their language, because women cant handle truth in their feminine social circles. Would you speak Russian to a person you knew didnt understand Russian? Why do that? Speak their language and they will understand & respect you ( as illogical as this sounds).
Most compelling video I've seen in a while.
I totally agree with everything you said, and will be following you from now on!
One time I was rejected by a super attractive man. He was polite but firm. I was hurt as hell. But I respected him because he had the guts to tell me the truth to my face. He didn't leave me second guessing myself or ghosting for no apparent reason. Men could save women a lot of time, if they were honest right from the beginning. There is no such thing as letting someone off softly. It is going to be painful. But being clear shows respect to the other person's time and mentality.
Glad you see the value in being the one to initiate because when you were rejected, you were ok with it and not making a big deal. You were not acting too entitled. Situation is like this. You asked him out and then he rejected you. Then you respected him for his honesty. You do know how to take responsibility because once you initiate asking someone out, you have to expect that person and that person do not owe you anything. Despite you feeling hurt by the rejection, you knew how to control your emotions around him. That is the way you earn his respect. Even if he did not give you a relationship, what is important is getting his respect which you got. At least it is better then being in enemy terms.
Yes, this ❤
i said so but she didn't listen so had to ghost her
I love this guy! He encompssses everything very intelligently, logically, and emotionally.
Great video! And I’m happy your are giving us this information
Keep going, Orion!
What a timely subject..just last night I squashed a relationship with a younger woman who had many wants but so limited time to spend..luckily I have options
Ah, the clarity. There's are so many resources explaining how to deal with women, but this one is a rare gem explains the why - economics. Thank you!
Very intense, helpful, often overlooked but important topic. Thank you.
I admire the millionaires who wear clothes from K-Mart.
They know that flaunting their wealth and resources is usually only an invitation for disaster.
What if they wear Macgregor, Spalding or Voit tennis shoes from the dollar store?
@@modickens1272 I suppose the type of modest clothes don't really matter.
Wearing fancy clothes clothes is fine. I'm just saying that flaunting your wealth may bring the type of attention you don't really want.
@@IanK369 agreed
So in my recent foray into online dating I noticed that women get very butthurt when you are not interested in pursuing them. I go on a lot of first dates just to check women out and often I am not interested and they get angry when I don’t follow up. I can say over the top borderline offensive stuff to them in the app but the only ones who unmatch with me are the ones I don’t pursue. They don’t have any problem sending dudes packing, seems like female entitlement.
Oh really? What “borderline offensive” sort of things do you say to them on the app? You seem rather proud of it.
@@annesmith9181 teasing, flirting, sexual innuendo, testing limits. Fun stuff.
Why don’t you follow up? Even if you don’t like them, the nice thing to do is follow up and let them know
@@SteveWKk "nice thing..."
Go read Robert Glover's book No More Mr Nice Guy ASAP.
Women who aren't interested in a guy just ghost/block them with no follow up. Why would men bother?
Just the way you present you're home says more than words it's a very good thing the fact that everything is organized means you have you're life organized
I'm learning so much that was never told to me growing up
Again very well said, Dr Taraban. I agree that the solution long-term be to support men more
Well that's a wonderful thing to know as I've been proposed to six times in my life to marry!...and I politely declined every time by offering compliments and my eternal love...but not with a ring on my finger!
Brilliant analysis and intelligent of how we can value mutual exchange between humans.
I am grateful...truly!
I didn't listen to a minute of this but I subscribed because I KNOW this man is talking facts
Great topic, rejection = trauma and spite so getting out of relationships unscathed is definitely a skill worth having.
Both men and women need to learn to reject and be rejected well. Unfortunately almost noone does.
And never will 💀
Thank you, Dr. Taraban. I've never thought of rejection that way. From a man's perspective, this soft rejection might come from a place of empathy, as you don't want to hurt someone's feelings. But from the woman's point of view, her smoothness might also come from a place of fear as she tries to appease the rejected man to avoid conflict or even a violent confrontation, especially if she's on her own. Now, try to get politely rejected by a girl but then insist again a few months later. Just wait for your phone to ring, and, on the other side, a guy who claims to be her new boyfriend, threatening and insulting you. Now she feels protected, so she doesn't need to give a damn about how you feel. Actually, we all know women don't care about men's feelings at all. So, guys, next time she says no to you with sugar and cream on top, watch your behavior, because she might saw you as a creep. lol
You've got the picture!
Anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die is not to be trusted.😂
I can barely believe the quality of this content dude. Beyond good, awesome or deep.
Really. You're singlehandedly untangling so many mental and emotional knots I've been struggling with, that I feel actually ashamed of not being able to reciprocate somehow (YET).
Cheers!!!
You are a kind, insightful, skillful person, sir.
Great video! I’d like to add that if you are a man willing to support a woman, then you’ll never know if she’s with you for the man you are.. or a lifestyle. Chances are the lifestyle you provide is a huge part of it. #💯/💯
This Is unbelievable that people reject women all I get Is rejected
I don't get rejected from women because I don't bother trying to get with them. Booyah!
Any ideas why? Have you ever heard of Rollo Tomassi or Rian Stone? They offer some good advice and insight into the twisted world of the female mind!
@@inconnu4961 must be closeted gay.
Just get to it sooner once you feel it coming from them
I fucking love you dude. I have followed and watched hours of psychology content, but for some reason, something about your videos just hit the spot and makes complete sense.
This is a beautiful and insightful video. I think a lot of men need to really learn this. Many men are okay with letting women manipulate them and then turn around and complain/act surprised when she doesn't treat them well.
I had to reject a woman who was a friend that I was not physically attracted to. Multiple times, she didn't take the hint. So the last time I told her the real reason why I didn't want to be in a relationship with her, and her friends and family turned on me. That's their fault and their problem that SHE would not take no for an answer. I wipe my hands from that responsibility of trying to be nice after FIVE TIMES!
“Being nice” was never the right move. All you did was send her mixed signals and then be mad she “didn’t take the hint.” Don’t act like you didn’t lead her on by not being up front from the beginning… I’m sure she would have much rather you be blunt and say you are not interested UP FRONT to spare her years of wondering and heartache.
@@unionunicorn6776 Fair enough, my fault for playing ignorant at the first time and what do you mean mixed signals when I said to her in a majority of my responses "I do not want to get into a relationship." And " I am not interested."
@@unionunicorn6776 she also kept asking why I did not want to be with her. Land whale as she was, but wanted to spare her the torment of saying "I do not find you attractive being fat and overweight" when I was blunt the last time she made a desperate plea asking why I wouldn't take her, boy did her family and friends crusade for her. One of them before that last confrontation took me aside and said to me "You know you could give this relationship a shot and maybe you might grow to love her." Which was one of the most disgusting and repulsive things I have heard, if it is not right to say that to a woman then it is not right to say it to a man. After the final rejection her sister sent me a message threatening to assault me for rejecting her sister. I want anyone to hear my story know that women are NOT the only victims of people not taking "No" for an answer when it comes to relationship dynamics. Mixed signals my ass.
@@ultimattprime2861 I assure you being straight forward and saying “I do not find you attractive” (especially in the beginning of a flirtatious exchange) is not the devastation you think it is. There is something you are not saying. How long was your relationship? Did you ever lead her to believe there was even a remote possibility? It is more devastating to be left with mixed signals for years. I’m sorry you got harassed by her family but if you had told her how you feel from the beginning you may have avoided becoming involved in the first place. Do you mind me asking why you even had a relationship with her at all if you did not find her attractive but knew she found you attractive? Why would you even be in any kind of relationship with someone who obviously has a crush on you? Be real and admit you kept her around for the ego boost and that you didn’t give a shit about hurting her feelings.
@@ultimattprime2861 She had used her family to act entitled for her so that right there gives you a power to find fault in her. She did not even defend you and giving her sister permission to act entitled on her behalf. If she resorts to sending people to act entitled and not cleaning up the mess by defending you, that is when you get to use fault against her. She had already behaved in an abusive way. So that should be a time to forget about her feelings. Think what happens if she tried that to another person. That other person is going to think of her as being creepy. Once she is rejected, she should not have any right to send in anyone to play matchmaker on her behalf. Look at this situation, her sister sucks at playing matchmaker and also cannot take a no answer for her. If anyone sends someone to act too entitled, I would already say to them I don't accept anyone who attempts to force a relationship. She had already proven she does not know how to make a good impression.
3:51 scarcity mentality. I currently have almost zero options with women, though I'm not ugly, fat, or unemployed. However, even after being completely alone for the last three years, it's still easy for me to reject ANYTHING that's below my standards. I'm not delusional, though. In fact, I'd be head over heels in love with a girl most guys would rate as 7, but these girls are just too hard to find. Unlike most desperate men, I can live with that. After all, a woman isn't and should never be an essential item like food, shelter, or transportation. Even in the worst-case scenario, we still can live without them.
You are 1000 percent correct brother.Keep doing such videos.
The power of saying "NO!"
I am pretty interested in watching you go live with men and women with these type of conversations.
If a woman leaves you because you say no for a good reason. Like he said it's a good riddance.
Well said. I like the example you gave, It made your point very clear.
That was a very good example of how to "reject" a person with kindness even though it was probably a line.. Good session Doc, thanks, as I had forgotten the kind "reject" story...
I tried that approach in the example rejection once. I ended up with a guy who begged for a bit to date, then threatened me. Was not the last psycho I encountered and I went on to encounter a few more. Man or a woman you can end up with some real psychos. Be careful out there y’all. Surround yourself with good people and always work on yourself. Never be complacent.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet! This is where you typically say I would love to get together for a date but I am just so busy. After a few times he will get the message and go away or you block him lol. Oddly when I go cold with women it increases your attraction. One got busy for a scheduled date so I deleted her number and profile off my dating app. She noticed and in 48 hours told me OK I am now available? SMH. I think she had no interest in dating me but was butt hurt and wanted to know why? As a woman what do you think is the reason?
While I am generally a fan of this channel, I think this "feel good" rejection is a terrible idea. I like it polite, plain, true and simple. Lies like "you're too good for me" only make me wonder what's the angle, is she just playing games, what was wrong?
@@fantasy9917I agree with you. I don't care to use this approach, it feels wrong.
Furthermore, women don't deserve kindness or courtesy.
So it's just, "no, but thank you."
She can sort it out, or not.
And if there is any trouble from her.... well, it's in her best interest to just move on. I won't tolerate any nonsense or BS from a child in an adult body.
The example rejection sounds crazy to me. You found the love of your life so you reject him?!
Sounds like planning to be a hot mess 304, and future cat lady.
i am glad you used the words most women because not all women are that way -- however i do know women like the ones you describe so thank u for this video
The most important video, I have ever seen on UA-cam around this information. This is a video and information which will help the deprograming out of the rat race of social manipulation.
Never thought about it this way, which is exactly why I subscribed to your videos. Thanks! ;)