Understanding Trauma - Part 22 - Generational Trauma
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- Опубліковано 9 тра 2024
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Unhealed Trauma usually becomes generational. It creates Complex Trauma in the next generation. Tim explains why this is so, the characteristics of generational trauma and how to break the cycle.
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Where have you been all my life? You have confirmed my walk is on the right path and that you are indeed a secret friend of mine. I thank you so much.
As a Ukrainian, whose family had survived Holodomor, I can confirm every word
Estonian sister sending love and sitting in solidarity with you.
Thank you Tim. This video will be great to show the ones that are willfully blind to the plight of people of color and the aftershock waves we feel and deal with from racism still to this day.
My paternal grandfather was orphaned in the Spanish Flu epidemic in 1918. He survived as a 3 year old, "raised" by his 12 year old sister. The emotional trauma echoed down to my brother and his children.
It’s all true. Recovery is a gift.
I ❤️Friday Night with Tim.
Don’t give up.
This is an excellent explanation of what happens whenever trauma is experienced by an individual, a family, a culture, etc. My late mother suffered from petulant BPD. I did not discover the real damage done until she had been dead for almost 10 years. I am 67 years old and I'm still dealing with this madness. I never got married or had any children. To add insult to injury, I was raised in a deeply religious family. So, my late mother used God to shame and guilt-trip me. I have deep regrets that I didn't challenge my mother's actions during my developmental years. But, I was afraid of her. She was always interacting with me and the rest of my family of origin through some level of anger. My mental health has been deeply impacted. Thank you for sharing this deeply needed information about generational trauma.
I found this video to be incredibly accurate and helpful and I enjoyed it immensely! I hope to share it with my children so we can collectively understand what happened to us as a family - thank you sincerely Tim!
There are no words to describe the help you give to the planet Mr. Tim! You are a gift to the world! I am profoundly grateful to come across you!!! You are a humanity saver!!!
Millions of thanks!!!🙏🙏🙏
What a deeply insightful lecture! Thank you! 🙏 it can help to free yourself, not having to excuse nor forgive nor empathize with the abusers, but to break the cycle, stepping out of the painful dynamics, refuse to carry someone else’s scars and insist of creating the best possible life for yourself day by day, step by step, thought by thought, inch by inch of inner distance.
I am glad that I got this much detailed information but at the same time I feel since how long we are living in such toxic environments without even realizing. It is so painful to hear this it’s like cancer, caught up only at stage 4 when enough damages is already done. it won’t come under the radar.
Tim, through some wonder, ads on the Internet show me you’re IN MY TOWN this month! I discovered your talks quite late in my healing journey but the fact that you don’t simply intellectualise trauma experiences is very helpful. I wish you the best on your seminars and workshops. Gentle healing to all…
Tim, most if not all societies have been through collective trauma. I can mention the Highland clearances, Irish famine, Arab slave trade, Ottoman Empire, Soviet persecution and so, so many more. Currently, in many societies we have a problem of victimhood. People who have not experienced those traumas, but have a victim centred psychology, therefore seeing themselves as persecuted. We now live in a society, which rather than accept awful things happened to many groups, we have a desire to rank victimhood and blame people who had nothing to do with past terrible events. Mandela recognised with his truth and reconciliation initiative that you cannot right the wrongs of the past, but simply come to terms with them. If we are to learn from the past it is that all groups are capable of carrying out awful atrocities justified by past trauma. That said these traumas can be dealt with if we move people away from victimhood and to a place of honest acceptance of dysfunctional societies.
Trauma to me isn't all about what I experienced, but the way it made me feel and the PTSD it left. There is no "worse-than-you" trauma because we all have our own perception of the world. Victimhood is a touchy subject, but I know I can keep healing and there are trauma victims in the world, but at the same time, there are entitled people as well
My question to you is this: which group of people are the ones that have not experienced trauma. The ones you say are in victimhood? It seems from his talk and your listing of all of the atrocities combined with generational trauma, very few would be un-victimized.
Nothings changed. Everyone was ready to have antivaxers wiped out a couple years ago.
This lecture sounds like short history of Greece: 200 years being genocided and bullied. A chill runs down the spine when the bell door rings. At least Greeks act out no that bad: just over eating and over love making. Thank you, o thank you so much Tim for holding up such a precise mirror❤❤❤❤
Tim, great lecture. And, have you considered buying a microphone? Like those used in podcasts with a length arm so you can still be comfortable and also have good audio?
Thank you, Tim. I am so grateful for your insights. And I also thank you for opening your space up to everyone. Ex-Catholic here (born and bred) - I have vascillated between atheism and agnosticism ever since my first cognitive/emotional break from my upbringing (as a young parent in my early 20s).
Simple, clear... Just amazing. Thank you❤
I absolutely LOVW you and your lectures, insight, help!!! You have helped me immensely!!!! I'm so thankful for you and all of these videos/teachings. They havebeen EXTREMELY helpful.
Could you please record these in another location? The echo overpowers your message.
Grow up
Thank you 🙏
With each episode, not only do we learn a lot about ourselves we also get to know amazing books with life-changing lessons. I grew up in a drama/trauma-full community/generation and watching your lives has changed a lot in my life. Because of language differences, unfortunately, I cannot share your videos with my family or friends who I know need to hear your words. However, I've recently decided to share a summary of your talks (and the recommended books) on my Instagram and UA-cam accounts who knows someone who needs to hear may find you through my words 🙏🙏
fyi the echo goes away after a minute or so...
Thank you
Posting this here so I can come back to it later. Recommended reading @2:06.
Amazing information. Many thanks.
A super helpful video! It delved into things I've wondered about and is helping me join dots. Thankyou!
Thank you Tim, you videos are good for the soul.
I enjoyed this Fridays talk a lot because it considers how our soul can be damaged by group trauma.The recovery from holding these repressions is mentally healthy. The ghostly terror of generational trauma , can transform into generational healing. ❤️🩹
This is very insightful and confirms my recent assertions as to why we blacks in Africa and elsewhere have failed to overcome our struggles of development and perpetual corruption at all levels….religion, government, education,institutions, infrastructures etc. It’s not the skin color my people!!!!! It unresolved , continuously perpetuating trauma!!!! I am happy l recently had my epiphany…..a self discovery of my own trauma and how it has affected absolutely all areas of my life. I am on the road to a lifetime of healing. Thank you Tim for this great delivery as always. You are doing the Lord’s work!Who within ,will tell sub Saharan Africa why she is so sick ?
I find it interesting that as far back as I can remember I was suicidal like even at 5 clearly its coming from somewhere beyond what I can make sense of consciously
The band,Suicidal tendencies,from the 1990s,is an awesome band that got me through tough times.
This has been my conclusion about my complex childhood/trauma. On a spiritual aspect, it's been a spiritual curse that goes back to WW2 and probably even beyond. I named the curse to my mother's last name. From her I had the watered down version. The psychological abuse, exploitation, manipulation, gaslighting. We literaly got into fights over anything and we hated eachother with passion. Where it started is both not our fault. For me, this has only been the watered down version of an intergenerational trauma.
My mother had a psychopath as a father. By him, she was being abused, beaten, bullied, grabbed by her hair and thrown off the stairs. She probably got SA'd by her own father. Her mother, my grandmother was being abused by that man as well. I don't know exactly how my grandmother and my biological grandfather came together. It could have been an arranged marriage gone wrong.
The situation escalated and my mother and grandmother had to flee away from this psychopath. So, they ended up in homeless institutions and mental hospital for a while. There my mother and grandmother got divided. My mother ran away from those institutions. She met my 21 years old father when she was only 14 years old. However I was born when my mother was 23 and my father 30.
Back to her psychopath father, my biological grandfather. I never met the guy. But my grandmother once told me he was being called "The Jewman" by other locals.
Wich is a very striking nickname. Maybe my grandfather was born right after WW2. I don't know exactly how old he is, but he could have experienced the war as a child. Or he ended up in the post war era, where nazi supporters, female lovers, but also still the jews were being bullied with things like "they forgot to put you in the gaschamber".
This could be one of many reasons that clarifies the extreme psychopatic behaviour he had towards my mother. My grandfather was a severely traumatized man by the post war era.
I don't know exactly what went beyond my grandfather. His parents probably escaped the trains to concentration camps.
Problem is, I don't know my grandmothers exact story. To get to know this, I'm saving up money to meet her and her new husband (great guy, my real grandfather) later on.
Because when I get this story straight, my complex trauma childhood was only the watered down version of our intergenerational trauma. It becomes acceptable for what I went through.
Then I can properly break the curse.
Thank You 👍👍♥️
Thank you ao much Tim, ❤, this is so helpful.
Great content but I just wish he would buy a proper mic to improve the sound quality or use a room without an echo
Thank you so very much.
God, this was so overwhelming.
Do you have any videos about collective narcissism?
Did you mean Competitive Capitalism & pop/media culture? Just joking. Your question is totally valid.
I can’t believe I missed the live!
People who are writing comments like “blame it on others,”
I get your view, there is such thing as tough love, and some people may see that as harsh to a child, but when you’re being physically, sexually or verbally abused or neglected, that has a huge impact on them when they’re older.
Don’t look at it as blaming, it’s more like identifying the source of that anguish. I resent my parents for the trauma they caused me, but I’m actively choosing to better myself by learning some of the unhealthy behaviours that I unintentionally gained as a result of my child hood.
It’s healthy for people to grieve when they have that light bulbs moments and realize where all that pain originated from.
So rather than sit in front of your key board and judge others, you should try and put yourself In their shoes and try and understand what they are going through. If you still don’t understand, then maybe that’s a sign that you are stuck in your ways and refuse to learn any further.
Love it
I love your lectures but today I just can't listen to this. I feel so angry, sad, depressed and just do not give a single F about generational trauma. I don't care what my family went through. It's can and will never excuse the answer and how much damage they inflicted upon me since birth. I have been sick most of my life, the lastest being Leukemia. I have done so much work to heal not only mentally but physically. I don't give a single flip about what my mom or grandma went through because that's the same BS they tried to pull on me to excuse their shyte treatment of me. I love your work Tim and you have helped me tremendously. Today I just can't finish this video
You're allowed to feel angry. It's good that you are acknowledging the feelings that flare up inside you, even if they don't feel good to sit with. It is what it is and it's also understandable (and normal and healthy). I am sure Tim would understand that as well. Better to acknowledge what is there now than to let it bottle up and fester and distort. All the best 💛
I completely agree. I've received a lot of criticism/pushback on my views of this (because there are many abused people in denial or many who are abusers themselves), but I stand by it 100%. I consider it a gaslighting lie that trauma is generational, although technically I understand where they're coming from. There is NO excuse for child abuse. It baffles me, because for every excuse they come up with for child abuse, i genuinely see it the opposite way. For example, people say to me "oh your parents only abused you because they were abused by their parents." Having abusive parents made me hyper-aware of what that does to a child. I had two abusive, narcissistic and disturbed parents (and no support or enlightened witnesses) and I haven't abused any children (nor will I ever abuse or neglect children.) That's the same for many people. Abusing children is a choice they make and I can't believe that so many people (including a lot of these therapists) try to excuse it.
I know how it feels to not (yet) being able to listen to certain information. And that's ok. Than this information is not resonating with you (now). Be gentle with yourself. It is ok that some things don't resonate and some things do. Allow yourself that ❤. Just so you know: you're doing great ❤
Agree with you... Understandable 100 %. Forget them and think only about you. You are deserving a best healing and gretest life yet to come. As said in video talk with people that listen tou you don't hurt you is the way to healing. All the best
Generational trauma should only be an explanation , never a justification. Feel free to reject it and to experience your anger, it may heal you.
So the perpetrators of trauma deal with repression while perpetuating oppression and the oppresses are left to deal with the emotional trauma.
Powerful
tnx I went back to Manny past elders and forgiven them all wouw wat a release of negative energy
A great band ,"Suicidal Tendencies" from Venice California in the 1990s, has got me through some tough times.
Please correct me if I’m wrong but from my experience many who won’t talk about their trauma also won’t form connections or relationships with safe people. They self-sabotage.
Almost immediately after I posted this you mentioned that they seek out unsafe people to talk about it. Ok. That makes sense.
Wow! This has helped me feel less crazy! I've had ocd and depression since I was old enough to walk. I felt crazy....cause I didn't know why I felt or acted like I do. So much fear and anxiety foe no reason. I found out as an adult that my grandpop grew up in an orphanage and was beaten and sexually abused. My mom( his daughter) and her sisters were sexually abused. Her older sister was sent to an insane asylum when she tried to kill her father. I grew up terrified of men and afraid they would hurt me. I didn't know why I felt.this way......I just felt so much anxiety when men would approach me. I was abused as a teen.I spent years in therapy and left feeling like I would never feel whole. I feared, the shame and lack of trust, dissociation will be with me for life. Hopefully, working through generational issues will help me heal. thank you
We are going thru a collective trauma now and its only going to get worse, but not if you have protection from the highest solar master, christ, the kingdom of heaven is within, seek your heaven within, within your heart, love is the most powerful emotion and is everything that matters!❤❤❤❤Blessings! ❤️It is telepathically acted out by the parents, the kids read the minds and hearts and mannerisms of the parent!😂😂😂🎉🎉🎉
Can I possibly talk about it with you because there is nobody else in my life who I can talk about this to because it is too terrifying and would frighten others and I don't want to cause anyone to feel afraid. I may just have to find some other way to heal, and trust and have faith in God, its not stuff I can talk about to anyone, its too much, too overwhelming, too troubling, and confusing! 🙏
xvi Gaza, which echoes out into a global trauma
Good point actually.
A vicious case of echo.
Can it be an abused leader of a large group “bleeding” his/her “luggage” on the group they lead?
U make good content but please next time use close mic or record in different room. Its so uncomfortable to listen to so much reverb and echoes.
too much echoing in the room
The sound/audio is not good on this video.
Présent day Palestine
It’s just incredible how this specific trauma gets missed so easily! I was really disappointed this time.
Palestinians must have THE worst case of collective trauma. BTW 9/11 was the MOSSAD not al Quaida
Thank you for pointing out these important corrections!
Wonderful echo makes it sound like we are in a cave. Sorry. Can’t listen to such poor audio.
Oh Tim you seem so nice, too bad you don't exist. 😂
Meet, Tim Fletcher. 🙏
@@Thatsbannanas-d8c THE ONE WHO WRITES HERE IS THE GUY WHO UPLOADED, NOT THE GUY ON THE VIDEO. THE FACE ON THE VIDEO IS VIRTUAL PERSON. ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE
@@Louloute-h4x No. Take your meds.
Explain the "years" (12years ago) of youtube uploads he has. BEFORE ai was made public/ mainstream.
@@Louloute-h4xTim Is doing 2 Seminars in my town this May, 1 in another nearby town - if you send me an email address (you can generate one for this exact purpose) I can send you a picture of the event if I go. Tix are £40.
THOSE WHO CAN DO, DO ; THOSE WHO CAN'T DO, TEACH.