I think it’s disrespectful for a man OR woman to be “ eying “ other people lustfully, especially when they are with their spouse/partner. Yes, we all have eyes. But, You don’t HAVE to do that. Its not even the point of being insecure, it’s just DISRESPECTFUL period.
Years ago he wouldn't look at a woman when I was with him. During the times just before our break up he'd look at every big booty, thick woman younger than me walk by. I said you looking while I'm here, he said "yeah, I'm gonna look"! As I play the mental tape, I saw warning signs I paid no attention because I never thought he'd ever do that me. Now I feel like such a fool to disregard the signs.
If a man or a woman has a habit of doing this, the relationship is in deep deep trouble. Regardless of people saying that's just how men are wired, I believe it's just an excuse used to allow them to make their partner feel like sh*t. His eyes should be front and centre whether he's by your side or alone. Every man I've known who had a roving eye was not fully committed to who they were with and later actions on his part proved it. Don't look for someone who likes you, demand someone who RESPECTS you.
Right! A brief look is not the problem - it's the turning the head to watch, smiling at them etc. makes a woman feel like she is some kind of consolation prize and he's still looking for someone better.
Absolutely Elizabeth. We've all had it done to us at one point or another and it feels horrible. If he's trying to catch their eye that would be automatic dumping for me.
I noticed no one in the comments is talking about how some women intentionally try to get attention from any and all man. They enjoy it even more if you are with them, because now they think they are better than you. I know men will look, men are visual. But some women with jezebel spirits need to be called out as well for purposely tempting.
This happened to me on this past Easter. My ex and I went to botanical gardens in Georgia for Easter . We were walking to see the flowers . Im 18 , turning 19 and he’s 20. As we were walking this tall beautiful chocolate girl was walking past us . I seen them lock eye contact as we were walking past eachother . He kept looking at her even when she started to look down and laugh . Once she walked all the way past , me and her looked back at eachother and watched eachother for a little then I finally loooked forward . Once we got around the corner from Her , he had the nerves to say “that girl was starring at me Like she wanted me right infront of you “ . But I seen him looking at her first . I couldn’t understand why she laughed and I brushed it off . There was nothing spectacular about her outfit or her shape (still beautiful ). She was a tall slim built girl that he gave INTIMATE eye contact with for a prolonged time as we walked past eachother . I questioned him and he made it seem like it was nothing . I let it go .days before that he went through my phone and in return I went through his (because he had a guilty conscious ) . He was texting his ex girlfriend and told Her to “call me anytime love “ he deleted the messages and only saved the last part that I just typed . That night was horrible . I called her from my Phone and asked myself she said she deleted the messages but I felt like she was protecting him . Haven’t heard from her since . After all of these altercations we went to Jamaica together . On April 18, 2021. That was when I was going to decide whether I was going to go with this or not . We had fun, but he still showed his ass . Even on the plane April 28 on the way back . So I decided to end it . Then we were on /off for 2 months .
But. I finally ended it last Monday because I couldn’t do it anymore .. even when I have the urge to contact him god intervened and now we can never talk again because of phone issues ONLY with his number .. it’s time for me to heal
I agree! I just ended it with a man after 6 months when this behavior didn’t stop. It was extreme and constant. You can’t have a healthy relationship with an oggler! Once I dropped that relationship, I instantly felt better. I never did that to any partner, they best not do it to me. It’s all about having code of conduct, maturity and integrity in a relationship. When people are serious about protecting the quality of a healthy relationship long-term they willingly guard their gaze and respect their partner. Mates who have a wandering eye is definitely linked to infidelity studies show. Partners who do this typically exhibit other micro-cheating and shifty behaviors. Cut your losses quick! Men who are high on the narcissistic scale keep oggling and tend not to care about how much distress it causes their partner- they gaslight, show no remorse and tend to be very self revolved. Peace is priceless!!! Trust your gut and cut off. You deserve better!
Staring at someone else while you’re with your significant other is a slap in the face to your self esteem. What’s the point? What does a look do for a man while with their woman?!? I don’t mind a if man glances a attractive woman approaching. But if you turn your head to the side, then turn your neck back.. it’s a wrap 😆 I don’t care how confident a woman is… a man lusting for another woman in front of your face is disrespectful and nobody can convince me otherwise.
My ex did this all the time and it was deeply hurtful and disrespectful. It made me feel really insecure and got to the point where I hated going anywhere together with him. If a relationship you should treat your spouse the way you want to be treated. This is why you have self-control. You may want to look, but you don't have to. I think I'll do a follow up UA-cam video on this. Thanks for starting the conversation Tony.
A man can look at an attractive woman, you don't have to lustfully stare her down. If he does, then do the same and see how insecure it makes him feel!
Yes I agree it's abusive and if it happens often and for a long period of time, like in my case, it's a constant undermining of a woman's feeling of confidence and safety in the relationship.
This is the absolute STRUGGLE when you’re an attractive single woman you get stared & lusted at by MARRIED & taken men everywhere smh and its not flattering and very awkward on my end because you don’t know how the wife/gf will react They sure don’t mind risking their marriage or relationship I see and even have the nerve to tell me out their own mouth they found me attractive but theyre married SMH like where is the respect for your significant other nowadays 😒🥴
So when men are staring at other women do they stop to think of all the other men staring at their wives. Men seem to think that there is always another woman that looks better. But did they stop to think that there is another man that we think is more handsome or more sexy?
We definitely all notice other attractive people. There’s a respectful way to be in the world and there’s a disrespectful way to be in the world. If you’re with someone who is ogling others, looking others up and down like they’re a piece of meat, turning their head to trail a behind down the sidewalk and just being creepy every time they see an attractive person…..No. You are not going to publicly disrespect me and the other person, potentially offend and embarrass the other person and think I’m going to be seen with your immature and creepy ass in public or private. I don’t give or take disrespect. End of.
I agree that men should be able to look but not stare. I was in a relationship like that and I eventually let him go. Women see it differently, you are looking at another woman while you are with me that is disrespectful. Just like I know he was looking at her, most likely she also saw, or feels him looking at her too. Depending on the woman she may feel like, "look at her man looking at me", why give the woman that satisfaction to think that when you are in a relationship.
I read in a book called ‘love & respect that most women have the need to feel that their husbands have ‘eyes for me only’, it was such a relief to read that, as I thought I had a jealousy issue because I was so sensitive to my husbands looking
Easiest solution: if you need to keep looking after you’ve made a commitment then you need to STAY single. If you stay single you can LOOK until you’re so old that nobody will want you. Point blank periooodt.
Women need to hear this a lot more. Even most "professionals" will gaslight women and tell them that this is normal behavior. As far as I'm concerned, it's predatory to the women who they are ogling and mentally abusive to the women that they are with. Run!!! It's like a drug, and they are never going to stop doing it. You will end up being an insecure shell of a human, and they will love it.
Tony and Shari are on vacation in the Maldives and Tony STILL took the time to record before hand and release a video for us. Shows a lot about his character! Thanks Tony
It's one thing to observe and mentally grade someone as beautiful or attractive because it's in our nature to notice all around us AND it's another thing to intentionally break your neck looking after someone else, to show your partner lack of respect by making them feel not special in your life, by showing them you are still considering other people even though you are in a relationship with them. When true feelings are involved, it will be natural that no matter how handsome or attractive someone else is, you will look and notice, but they cannot make you take your eyes off your relationship because you already have something special that is more important than their looks.
@@dublingirl1691 Thank you very much, i appreciate it ! Unfortunately some even have the audacity to think that is normal behaviour for a man but unacceptable for a woman. And women shouldn't even try to pay them back the same because when a man does that, he is not in love so it's not worth it if she wants true love. "Go where you are celebrated, not merely tolerated" - that quote also applies here. She needs to be with a man who is with her because he thinks she's the most beautiful, not one who thinks she is acceptable, is with her out of various needs and looks around to see what else is out there.
My child’s father has ruined our relationship. Anywhere we go together he continuously has this wandering eye. We recently took our son to a birthday party. I paid no one there any kind but started to notice the female staring at me. I started investigating and noticed he just wouldn’t stop looking at her. I held my composure but I wanted to flip that table over and leave. I at that point felt so low inside and I’m pregnant? Ladies and gents! Remember u don’t have to settle for a man who doesn’t love u enough to respect and not embarrass u.
God bless you I understand completely how you feel I deal with the same exact thing is total embarrassment is humiliating and he thinks that I want him after he does that what do you think I feel like it's completely repulsive and I don't want him near me I'm sure you feel the same way God bless you and protect you
I pray peace for us women (or men) struggling w this. God will grant us someone that will respect us and value us. In His timing🙌🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 I’m sick of guys being like dogs 💔
I remember my ex looking back at females and he really believed I didn't notice but it is very embarrassing. I saw many attractive people when I was walking with him but would purposely avoid eye contact with them out of respect for my man at the time, its not that hard to do I think it has a lot to do with greed if that makes sense
There are also some women out there who are so into their partner that they just no longer see other good looking men. They just don't notice how good looking the other guy is. And for those women, an indicator that the current relationship is going down the drain is when she DOES notice how good looking other guys are. Those women likely have a difficult time understanding that other people don't work like that.
So true! Preach all day! Thank you for someone with my kind of brain and speaking out with it. I get laughed at for saying this exact thing. I really thought I was a lone breed in this way of being and it hurt me to my souls core until now.
@@Stormy1984 It sucks you get laughed at for being different. There's no shame in that. And it doesn't mean that anything's wrong with you. I hope that one day you'll find your person that doesn't laugh at you for that.
Looking is okay, but I think staring is what drives some women up the wall.. Either way my ex didn’t look at any woman in public while with me, and he was for the streets..lol..
I feel like staring, especially when your partner is in your presence, is disrespectful. I’m not talking about a glance, I’m talking STARING. Lusting is def cheating in my opinion, idc. I see many men I personally know, who are married or engaged and will literally post a photo of a celebrity or influencer woman on social media, lusting after her. And their wives/fiancé’s be following them!!!! And majority of the women/men ppl publicly lust after look nothing like their partner. That’s a slap in the face.
I know it's wrong, but if my partner starts doing this around me I start reciprocating the gesture. I also make sure they look nothing like him as his eye candy is in comparison to me. I know it's wrong but it eases the pain for me.
It's not wrong though. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. If it's okay for him to check out eye candy, and he is the head and the role model, then he should be confident enough to be okay with you doing it too.
I caught my ex several times and the last time I caught him I was so over it. It turned into a huge fight especially after he told me, "her body was beautiful." 🤦🏽♀️
Its ok to acknowledge beauty but it becomes disrespectful when a man breaks his neck or goes out of their way to look at another woman and their significant other is walking next to them . Their has to be a little bit of boundaries there
@@aliciasmith5012 Yr very welcome. GOD BLESS US ALL! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! BLESSED TODAY!THANK U LORD!!
Hey Tony! 👋🏽This sounds like another good video. My dad used to always get in trouble with my mom for his wandering eyes. That used to start some deadly fights in my household. I just think ppl should be more respectful in relationships. U ain't gotta break ya neck and turn around to look at her. At least wait until I'm not around. Geez 🤦🏽♀️
My ability to rate how attractive someone is to me correlates with my relationship status. If I am single then when I look at a man I automatically rate his attractiveness. However, if I am in a committed relationship then I have tunnel vision.
But men will go out they way thinking they got all the sense to try to look at another woman. Let you walk in front of them, go to another ale in the store to get a look etc... And I'm just laughing inside because I know exactly every game they pulling and they get mad because your not going for what their talking about. It don't matter how cute, pretty, fine etc you are men will look at any and everybody. It's childish and disrespectful to your partner. It's ok to see someone and noticed they are nice looking and go on bout your business but to go all out your way braking your neck etc.. your crossing the line period. Half the time their with their partner when they're doing so that tells you when they by their self it's much worst
That is by far one of the worse things a man can do right in front of their spouse. I have not had that to happen to me, but I can imagine that it is Very disrespectful and irritating.
Women know when a man is looking at them even when a man is standing right next to his woman - Do men understand how hurtful it is to a woman to know her man is looking at another women while next to her ? It’s a terrible feeling for the spouse / significant other ! I will leave a relationship where I become invisible over other woman ! It’s disgusting and super disrespectful! But mostly hurtful! It’s a hard no for me !
I’m sorry Tony but I am a psychology major and I have a different perspective. In reference to your wife not tripping off of you and your interaction with women. I believe that it has nothing to do with confidence in herself. It has more to do with how secure you have made her feel based off of your values and your treatment of her. People don’t fear who they know is “into” them. The more a person is “into” us the more secure we feel with them PERIOD!. The issue of the wondering eyes has more to do with values and being totally 💯 “into” the person you are with (Man or Woman) the only reason why men justify it is because society has backed them on their behavior. If it is said that when a woman has tunnel vision when she is in love then the same can be said with a man. So if he is in love then it is possible that he can have tunnel vision as well. The problem is that most men are not with women that they are in love with (PERIOD). They may like her, enjoy her company and are comfortable with her but he is NOT in love with her. The reason why you are able to be with your wife and not look and feel a little jealousy when she is giving another man a little too much of her attention is because you are in love with her. It is a natural human emotion to feel a little threatened when the person you are IN LOVE with is too attentive and entertains the opposite sex a little too much for your taste. Again, understand that she doesn’t feel threatened because you’ve already exposed that you’re threatened. You being threatened is what has made her feel confident to the point of being too comfortable with the opposite sex in your presence along with being too unaffected with your dealings with other women. You’re also faithful because your wife Unaffected. It’s the greatest reverse psychology. So in all respect ✊🏾 I agree that the less threatened a woman acts with her man is what makes him behave better just like the less affected your wife is makes you behave better. The more affected we behave the more the person exhibits those behaviors. Over all, if a person is really IN LOVE they will not have a desire to look or cheat and as for the looking, it won’t happen in the presence of their partner. Being IN LOVE is the causality in this dilemma. Both men and women do different things and behave different with different partners. The more in love they are the better their behavior is with that individual. POINT BLANK. Your wife is unaffected because she knows you are 💯% IN LOVE with her - PERIOD those men that are looking in the presence of their women are not 💯% in love with that woman. I’m sorry but this is facts -
Omg I’m so glad a man wrote this too!!! This is exactly bang on. It’s not necessarily the looking, it’s the messages it conveys. “I’m just jot that into you enough to stop admiring other women aka potential life partners)
I was with one who looked at EVERY behind that walked past us, I mean EVERY woman’s behind while we were in conversation. Got so bad he started wearing sun glasses in the grocery store.
I think we all understand this Tony but there are limits . I had an ex that would just be eye locking and making the other girl smile she knew he was looking and would make her feel beautiful by doing this instead of having a good time with me there he was trying to eye lock with someone else. The girls where beautiful yes and I dont have any jealously I also looked at these girls but I would get sad because this was not acceptable what he was doing.
How you think all these extra-marital affairs/cheating situations started??? With a look. Although he may know his "innocent" intentions for looking/staring, he does not her intentions on the receiving end.
When a man look at me I sometimes look back but I break the stare. Cause I think some men use it as a fishing pole. Next thing you know that man walking up trying to holla and you gotta to turn him down. So if I can avoid that I will keep tunnel vision and keep it moving.
Staring is a behavior of cheaters and if he still looking he is still struggling with being out there. A man staring at another women is like a women actually speaking to another man. If your looking your still lusting.
Omg.... I have a male friend that looks at women and women's booty..all the time! I keep telling him that's why he is single 🤪🙄 cuz it's so obvious and most women will not be ok with his lack of self control.
Well said Tony, well said! When you're confident in yourself you don't stress on what your mate is doing, cause what's done in the dark will come to the light! 🙌👏🙌👏👏👏
@@sylviagaston9453 They may get away to the human eye, but my God sits high, looks low, & sees everything! God can give better vengeance than mankind, so trust they're not getting away with it.
Tony couldn't be more right!! Adding on, when men- single or not- stare at me, it's like they are using xray vision to take my clothes off. It's so uncomfortable if it's like a HARD stare! Even if ion even wanna look their way lol. Anyone else experience this?!
Looking becomes wrong when it goes from looking to staring. That's hugely disrespectful to your significant other. No one wants to be on the receiving end of that.
Sorry Tony, I understand the human aspect of relationships. However It sounds like you are trying to excuse this or at least make woman more tolerant of this disrespectful behavior. I have never seen a man casually look at a woman to acknowledge how pretty she is. He is typically doing the most especially if he knows it gets under your skin and cause insecurity in the relationship. If he's like this when I'm around what is he like when I'm not around? My experience, I couldn't continue being disrespected with the grunting sounds and licking lips when he saw a women then told I'm making it up. Yet he wouldn't look at an attractive woman that was with a man because he knew he had to respect him but the the man I'm with didn't have to respect me. Hmmmm.
That is what some will say because they want to lust and have you accept it, when it is unacceptable. A man will do only mostly what you allow them to do and get away with. Set your standards high and do not lower them for anything or anyone.
Usually the men that continue to look even after you say it hurts you don’t respect you or care to lose you. Watch their actions not their words. Get out of the relationship early bc they will do other things further down the line like lying and cheating. They only care for themselves. It has happened to me and I was naive not to get out early. Ended up he was cheating behind my back.
Bro Tony you have me laughing when you talk about your experience of the story of a set of Hams you see lol 🤣🤣🤣 . I've been enjoying these videos they been so on point . Continue to enjoy your time with your family 🌴⛱️🌺
I always peeped this but felt it was a insecurity to my self . But then at the same time I’m losing interest in my girl because I be catching her do this and it’s like damn is it me ? But yea man this disrespectful because when we out and when her friends and shitt around I don’t stare but I can’t say the same for her . It makes me wanna seek outside of the relationship no cap
My ex did it with purpose to enoy me or he tried to make me insecure with his narc games ! But i got him back, if we were in a bar, i started to look a bit further away behind him...he straightaway looked behind him to see what I was looking at !!!!🤣😉 it is very enoying if a man looking in such an eccesive way! It ís disrespectfull !! But as soon as you do it back as a woman, they are in distress! Not knowing what happens here???! I knew his 'game' !!
First of all, why is the Pastor even at a Casino? He should be at home studying God's word so he can be the epitome of what depicts God through his son Jesus. Yes, he can and should go somewhere other than church, but don't let it be the "boat" or gambling casinos.
I'm REALLY trying to get to that place of putting up with this cuz this has happened in all of my relationships and whenever I brought the conversation up respectfully, he'd say I was tripping or jealous and he'd start a fight. I don't feel like it's a matter of confidence because I am very confident but it's a matter of simply accepting this behavior and I'm having trouble with this. People should train themselves to look away. It may take some work but if you truly care about someone...just sayin'. Everyone recognizes people but when it gets to the point of staring to get eye contact or keep looking over at the person, it's more than a notice.
💯💯💯 wow yes so true going thru this now.. idk if I can accept the behavior and I’m tired of speaking on it so now I just say nothing makes me feel less
Totally relate to this one!!!! It's so True!!! I dealt with this with my ex for 9yrs. It actually started feeling like abuse!!!!! I was 100% faithful to her for 9yrs...
Bro I been married 11 years and with my partner 16 years. The year of my marriage Mt wife started staring at other men INFRONT of me ..i though it was done until 6 years later still the same. Lol. I'm.still married to same woman somehow
i understand noticing but to keep staring is another thing. Also no following online! i have had boyfriends stare too long and i have had boyfriends say i see how all these other men are looking at you and i see it too and it honestly makes me uncomfortable. i also see how some men i have dated will treat someone differently because they are pretty. you see the difference in the reaction between an average girl and a pretty girl. men treat me different all the time they will open the door for me but not for the average girl.. if you do that for everyone that's one thing we know that's who you are but if you don't normally do that for everyone and then the pretty one comes along and you do that's an issue. we can see we are not dumb or blind..also online i don't even have to post a provocative pic to get DMs so following random men i don't know is not necessary and they don't need to follow me. My man needs to follow those guidelines too. Social media should be respectfully controlled by the self. Why would you ever want to make your man or woman feel shitty if you love them? The only man i need to hear i am beautiful from is my man. I know just my selfies has caused relationship issues for others and i don't want to be a part of that. No man should keep hearting my selfie if they are with someone else and i don't want to post them if it is going to cause negative attention or problems in a relationship we can post the two of us together. It's not about trust either because you can trust your bf/gf but not others. people thing that the social media world is another world and it's not. if you wouldn't or shouldn't do it in the real world don't do it online. It's called common sense, respect, and loyalty.
Look me and my bf had a huge fight over this. He was lustful before me and he would stare at woman. He began doing it in front of me for months and my blood would boil! Eventually I had to say something and he said it was natural. I said, “Even though it may be natural doing it in front of your woman is unacceptable and disrespectful. If you want a strong woman in your life you must nurture that woman she’s turning into with your actions.” Don’t be surprised if she’s everything but that because of how you carried yourself around her. That was the last time I saw those eyes move. 🤣
The Word of The Most High says whoever looks on a man/woman to lust after her has already committed adultery in his/heart. It's a very fine line we all have to walk. However, it is hard not to look at beautiful people. A pastor at a church I attended said learn to have a neck up ministry when looking at people. 😁😆😄
If I point out to the person that I'm with, something that I feel is disrespectful and they keep doing it, then they're not the person for me. I should be able to rest in "my" person and they should be able to "rest" in me. My Father told me that the person that I'm with should always bring out the best in me, not the worst. So if you "tell" the person you're with what makes you feel disrespected and they willingly disrespect you....in the famous words of Tony Gaskins, "Go head bout ya business".
I've been going through this for awhile too ...Your right what do you do tho when you say tho its hurtful and disrespectful and youve already been doing what you can on your side by not trying to stirring the pot and by trying to be communicative and still giving a chance to let him prove himself even though there outcome is that they tell you they can look at them its not cheating and message them and watch too even when your out with him and he looks for so long but you dont .😢 I really liked how someone said you may want to look but you dont have too ... And that its about self control 😢these are all things ive been saying and im told im wrong but seeing all your answers really helped me out today i really want to thank everyone cuz ive been lost about this situation for quite some time i hope everyone has a good day but my days have been mentally hard and sad
Most days I feel that I’m better off being single than dealing w BS/stress of immature men. I will stay this way until Gods sends the right one. And I believe that He will❣️
I wouldn't be saying he's going home with me. I'd be like your going home alone because I'm going to dinner with the guy that noticed that I deserve better. True story, but you can only take so much. 🤷
The key to what was said was "look/notice and keep it moving" and "consider the person's track record" Either way, there is no problem with noticing or looking because I can appreciate beauty as well, it's blatantly staring and even pausing a conversation to look at another woman. That happened to me. In my opinion, it's super disrespectful and that's when it's time to have a discussion and re-evaluate the relationship.
Honestly, I'd expect him to look at a pretty woman. He didn't GO BLIND after we started dating. It's all in the way he does it. If he's stopping, and doing a 360-degree turn to look, or UNDRESSING her with his eyes, it's VERY DISRESPECTFUL. Better sleep with one eye 👁️ open after this ❗ 🤣🤣🤣
Sometimes you do get treated based on your attractiveness in life. It should be based on the outside as well the inside but it’s not. Sometimes the pretty people in heart are the ugliest and the ugliest people can be the prettiest in heart. Weird but true. That’s why I hate when You-tubers put people down based on looks. Do you know their heart? No you don’t. That’s the problem. It’s s okay to look at the cover of the book. But will you read it based on that!? If you don’t it’s your loss.
It’s one thing to look with admiration, I don’t mind that. LOOK because I’m looking too in admiration, it’s in our nature to do so. But when your staring in a flirty way trying to make eye contact opens up the possibility for the other women to think there’s a chance. It’s beyond disrespectful because depending on the type of women she is there’s one to two things she gonna think to herself and that’s 1. He likes me although he’s with his women and they start eye dancing. Or 2. She notices him in her peripheral never making eye contact while thinking he’s stupid to flirt with his women beside him because she’s smart enough to know that his woman sees his stupid ass but she dares not play that game with him because of the self respect she has for herself. Sorry not sorry, I will not stand to be disrespected AND made a fool of. I’m out!
Another man might not catch your eye but looking is a natural thing. I think that when it comes to lusting and looking these are obviously two different things altogether. Also, you will most likely know what they are staring at when you see them looking so hard, whether at the top, mid section or legs, etc...You will not have to guest you will instantly notice most times.
I pray for all people watching this please pray for me false doing the same thing it's heart-wrenching and I can't take much more I need God to intervene I pray he does for all of us in Jesus mighty name. Amen!
I'm right there with you. It has all come to a head this holiday. He wants to go where young women are scantily clad so that he can ogle. I've put up with it long enough. When I look at him, now all I can see is a gross old pervert. This man is sixty looking at girls young enough to be his granddaughters. I don't care about any excuses Tony is giving. This is disgusting abuse, and don't let anyone gaslight you into thinking that it isn't.
Not acceptable, respect women , don't wound them, we need to feel we have a safe space when we are with a MAN a real man wouldn't hurt the love if his life, a BOY will🙌
It is flattering at first when a man notices me but when they continue to glare it becomes very uncomfortable.. I notice attractive men and I tell myself turn away!!! Lol 😂
God presented Eve to Adam for a look over. Men and women can look without being disrespectful because the truth is we all have eyes to see. There's a difference between acknowledgement of beauty/handsomeness and "eye rape".
Yes!!! And I’m not even looking his way!! I work at the mall and get this ALL the time. It’s on the brink of the woman looking like they want to come in my store and fight me!
well some women are purposely trying to be provactive. Wearing the least, tightest, most sexual clothing. They want people to stare, especially your man. It gives her an ego boost that she can get your man. Women do brag about this.
@@Wholelottarosie-lc8ed That's exactly why a man shouldn't as he claims "innocently" look at a women. He has no clue what her intentions are. She could be evil but there he goes flirting with evil. So much for discernment. I care more about his lack of integrity than hers. There will always be women like that. Will he crumble at every woman that has on spandex or a tight top? If you don't have self control when we are together then what happens when we are not? For me this was a deal breaker.
Why would I submit to a man with a wandering eye? I've never had a wandering eye in a relationship. Acknowledging that someone is attractive in your mind is not the same thing as a wandering eye. Some people look around with the intention to find your replacement. I won't put a man in a position to wander if I want him or not. Impulse control works.
I feel like we all recognize beauty. Woman or Man. I am a female I acknowledge if a woman is beautiful and a man is handsome. I will say it before my boyfriend sometimes. If he looks that is fine by me….However, if your staring to the point your eyes about to pop out👀 and we are together then that is disrespectful.
Looking at a beautiful person is like someone who rarely drinks but a few times a year on holidays. It happens. But it has no power over you. But then you have the alcoholics!
It hurts 100000% more when you don’t even notice other men & you consistently see yours looking at other women 😅.
Thissss
Agree !!!
Going through this now.its painful
I am goin through this now. 😢. Evertime I call him on it he acts stupid and dumb like he didn't see the woman I'm talking about 🤷🏻♀️.
I agree!!
It's even worse when you catch him staring and then he lies and says he wasn't. Childish
Exactly!!
Then they throw it back calling you insecure or jealous
I know I've been there with my ex when I caught him looking and he lie about it.
That's what I'm dealing with for the first time ever! Smh
EXACTLY!!!! 🔥👏🏼👏🏼
Very childish, rude and disrespectful
If a man doesn't control his eyes he doesn't control his mind. If a man truly loves you he will control himself.
💯
Amen!💓
Agree
Why only men women does that also but i guess its okay for woman to do that
@@guy-lc5oi it’s not okay for women to do that but mostly men are prone to do that
Checking out other women is a great way to inspire your wife to have an affair
Boom!💥🔥
Boom
I know this post is old but wooooooo. That's the truth 🔥
👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻💯💯💯💯💯💯
Yeap
I think it’s disrespectful for a man OR woman to be “ eying “ other people lustfully, especially when they are with their spouse/partner. Yes, we all have eyes. But, You don’t HAVE to do that. Its not even the point of being insecure, it’s just DISRESPECTFUL period.
I agree 👍
Exactly!!!
Years ago he wouldn't look at a woman when I was with him. During the times just before our break up he'd look at every big booty, thick woman younger than me walk by. I said you looking while I'm here, he said "yeah, I'm gonna look"! As I play the mental tape, I saw warning signs I paid no attention because I never thought he'd ever do that me. Now I feel like such a fool to disregard the signs.
Agreed
It's ABSOLUTELY disrespectful for either spouse to do "eyeball other people."
If a man or a woman has a habit of doing this, the relationship is in deep deep trouble. Regardless of people saying that's just how men are wired, I believe it's just an excuse used to allow them to make their partner feel like sh*t. His eyes should be front and centre whether he's by your side or alone. Every man I've known who had a roving eye was not fully committed to who they were with and later actions on his part proved it. Don't look for someone who likes you, demand someone who RESPECTS you.
Right! A brief look is not the problem - it's the turning the head to watch, smiling at them etc. makes a woman feel like she is some kind of consolation prize and he's still looking for someone better.
Absolutely Elizabeth. We've all had it done to us at one point or another and it feels horrible. If he's trying to catch their eye that would be automatic dumping for me.
Right!!! My man looked a woman up and down in the restaurant I started to smack tf out of him ! Plus she couldn't touch me !
We are not robots
Front and center 🤣🤣🤣 that man covering every angle, his need to be aware is far more than your insecurity 😯
Mature and respectful men know how to see, and don't see. Wandering eyes have no self control. This is a turn off for me.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
YESSSSSSS!
If a man looks at other woman it's deeply disrespectful. And shows a truly immature heart and mind.
It’s women, did you listen to the whole video ?
Facts
I disagree
Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, Tumblr.... I hate them all. 😭😭😭😭
I noticed no one in the comments is talking about how some women intentionally try to get attention from any and all man. They enjoy it even more if you are with them, because now they think they are better than you. I know men will look, men are visual. But some women with jezebel spirits need to be called out as well for purposely tempting.
DON'T CONFUSE INSECURE WITH DISRESPECTFUL.....!!!
Thank you! This is just pure disrespect!
💣💣💣
Right! Like don't get it twisted!
💯
True
I think that staring is the problem. Especially if the woman being looked at notices. It's uncomfortable to see a woman's man staring at her.
Very true
This happened to me on this past Easter. My ex and I went to botanical gardens in Georgia for Easter . We were walking to see the flowers . Im 18 , turning 19 and he’s 20. As we were walking this tall beautiful chocolate girl was walking past us . I seen them lock eye contact as we were walking past eachother . He kept looking at her even when she started to look down and laugh . Once she walked all the way past , me and her looked back at eachother and watched eachother for a little then I finally loooked forward . Once we got around the corner from
Her , he had the nerves to say “that girl was starring at me Like she wanted me right infront of you “ . But I seen him looking at her first . I couldn’t understand why she laughed and I brushed it off . There was nothing spectacular about her outfit or her shape (still beautiful ). She was a tall slim built girl that he gave INTIMATE eye contact with for a prolonged time as we walked past eachother . I questioned him and he made it seem like it was nothing . I let it go .days before that he went through my phone and in return I went through his (because he had a guilty conscious ) . He was texting his ex girlfriend and told
Her to “call me anytime love “ he deleted the messages and only saved the last part that I just typed . That night was horrible . I called her from my
Phone and asked myself she said she deleted the messages but I felt like she was protecting him . Haven’t heard from her since . After all of these altercations we went to Jamaica together . On April 18, 2021. That was when I was going to decide whether I was going to go with this or not . We had fun, but he still showed his ass . Even on the plane April 28 on the way back . So I decided to end it . Then we were on /off for 2 months .
But. I finally ended it last Monday because I couldn’t do it anymore .. even when I have the urge to contact him god intervened and now we can never talk again because of phone issues ONLY with his number .. it’s time for me to heal
It's embarrassing.
This is facts!!!
I usually leave when the eyes wander to much. Ain't no body that special to me.
Whew Chile!! I'm in the process of that now.
Amennnnn
I agree! I just ended it with a man after 6 months when this behavior didn’t stop. It was extreme and constant. You can’t have a healthy relationship with an oggler! Once I dropped that relationship, I instantly felt better. I never did that to any partner, they best not do it to me. It’s all about having code of conduct, maturity and integrity in a relationship. When people are serious about protecting the quality of a healthy relationship long-term they willingly guard their gaze and respect their partner. Mates who have a wandering eye is definitely linked to infidelity studies show. Partners who do this typically exhibit other micro-cheating and shifty behaviors. Cut your losses quick! Men who are high on the narcissistic scale keep oggling and tend not to care about how much distress it causes their partner- they gaslight, show no remorse and tend to be very self revolved. Peace is priceless!!! Trust your gut and cut off. You deserve better!
@@coreyhabbasAMEN❤️🔥
Staring at someone else while you’re with your significant other is a slap in the face to your self esteem. What’s the point? What does a look do for a man while with their woman?!? I don’t mind a if man glances a attractive woman approaching. But if you turn your head to the side, then turn your neck back.. it’s a wrap 😆 I don’t care how confident a woman is… a man lusting for another woman in front of your face is disrespectful and nobody can convince me otherwise.
Totally!
@@missrose9795 very true and those men are carried away with their lust. One woman isn't enough for them.
💯
True! There is a slight glance where nobody noticed!! But they look sooo hard their neck almost snaps off!!!
My ex did this all the time and it was deeply hurtful and disrespectful. It made me feel really insecure and got to the point where I hated going anywhere together with him. If a relationship you should treat your spouse the way you want to be treated. This is why you have self-control. You may want to look, but you don't have to. I think I'll do a follow up UA-cam video on this. Thanks for starting the conversation Tony.
Was married 25 yrs to someone who did this...my insecurities increased To the point I didn't like looking in the mirror
Similar experience ladies! Glad 2 be done with that mess.
Yes please make a follow up video
A man can look at an attractive woman, you don't have to lustfully stare her down. If he does, then do the same and see how insecure it makes him feel!
We’ve been conditioned to think that it’s normal. To stick it through as long as he’s going home with you. Little things build onto bigger problems
When my eye meets the woman of a man who is staring at me, it always feel like telepathical communication saying to each other “You need to run, sis”
A man with a wondering eye is likely to cheat, this type of disrespect is a red flag and its also a form of abuse
Yes I agree it's abusive and if it happens often and for a long period of time, like in my case, it's a constant undermining of a woman's feeling of confidence and safety in the relationship.
If he looks or has wondering eyes in-front of you, wait til you are not around or he is out alone.
This is the absolute STRUGGLE when you’re an attractive single woman you get stared & lusted at by MARRIED & taken men everywhere smh and its not flattering and very awkward on my end because you don’t know how the wife/gf will react They sure don’t mind risking their marriage or relationship I see and even have the nerve to tell me out their own mouth they found me attractive but theyre married SMH like where is the respect for your significant other nowadays 😒🥴
They might find us attractive but most married out their to use young beautiful girls they wont break up with her to be with you.
So when men are staring at other women do they stop to think of all the other men staring at their wives. Men seem to think that there is always another woman that looks better. But did they stop to think that there is another man that we think is more handsome or more sexy?
Boom!
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! JULY2021
We definitely all notice other attractive people. There’s a respectful way to be in the world and there’s a disrespectful way to be in the world. If you’re with someone who is ogling others, looking others up and down like they’re a piece of meat, turning their head to trail a behind down the sidewalk and just being creepy every time they see an attractive person…..No. You are not going to publicly disrespect me and the other person, potentially offend and embarrass the other person and think I’m going to be seen with your immature and creepy ass in public or private. I don’t give or take disrespect. End of.
I agree that men should be able to look but not stare. I was in a relationship like that and I eventually let him go. Women see it differently, you are looking at another woman while you are with me that is disrespectful. Just like I know he was looking at her, most likely she also saw, or feels him looking at her too. Depending on the woman she may feel like, "look at her man looking at me", why give the woman that satisfaction to think that when you are in a relationship.
People do not do this in all relationships.. thank God ... I would say if a man is doing this run ...
It's so wrong and too disrespectful
I read in a book called ‘love & respect that most women have the need to feel that their husbands have ‘eyes for me only’, it was such a relief to read that, as I thought I had a jealousy issue because I was so sensitive to my husbands looking
Easiest solution: if you need to keep looking after you’ve made a commitment then you need to STAY single. If you stay single you can LOOK until you’re so old that nobody will want you. Point blank periooodt.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
💯
Yesss lol!
Thank you for that👏🏾
Women need to hear this a lot more. Even most "professionals" will gaslight women and tell them that this is normal behavior. As far as I'm concerned, it's predatory to the women who they are ogling and mentally abusive to the women that they are with. Run!!! It's like a drug, and they are never going to stop doing it. You will end up being an insecure shell of a human, and they will love it.
Tony and Shari are on vacation in the Maldives and Tony STILL took the time to record before hand and release a video for us. Shows a lot about his character! Thanks Tony
Dedication! Point blank periyod!
I’m sooooooo motivated by this!!! He’s walks it like he talks it!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥
It's one thing to observe and mentally grade someone as beautiful or attractive because it's in our nature to notice all around us AND it's another thing to intentionally break your neck looking after someone else, to show your partner lack of respect by making them feel not special in your life, by showing them you are still considering other people even though you are in a relationship with them. When true feelings are involved, it will be natural that no matter how handsome or attractive someone else is, you will look and notice, but they cannot make you take your eyes off your relationship because you already have something special that is more important than their looks.
💯
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! JULY2021
@@socialdistancingon8333 Thank you !
@@dublingirl1691 Thank you very much, i appreciate it ! Unfortunately some even have the audacity to think that is normal behaviour for a man but unacceptable for a woman. And women shouldn't even try to pay them back the same because when a man does that, he is not in love so it's not worth it if she wants true love. "Go where you are celebrated, not merely tolerated" - that quote also applies here. She needs to be with a man who is with her because he thinks she's the most beautiful, not one who thinks she is acceptable, is with her out of various needs and looks around to see what else is out there.
@Cherish God Thank you !
18:18 Tony is right. Know your worth. "If somebody shows you who they are, believe them...". -Maya Angelou
My child’s father has ruined our relationship. Anywhere we go together he continuously has this wandering eye. We recently took our son to a birthday party. I paid no one there any kind but started to notice the female staring at me. I started investigating and noticed he just wouldn’t stop looking at her. I held my composure but I wanted to flip that table over and leave. I at that point felt so low inside and I’m pregnant? Ladies and gents! Remember u don’t have to settle for a man who doesn’t love u enough to respect and not embarrass u.
God bless you I understand completely how you feel I deal with the same exact thing is total embarrassment is humiliating and he thinks that I want him after he does that what do you think I feel like it's completely repulsive and I don't want him near me I'm sure you feel the same way God bless you and protect you
I pray peace for us women (or men) struggling w this. God will grant us someone that will respect us and value us. In His timing🙌🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
I’m sick of guys being like dogs 💔
A glance or noticing is ok imo. Staring and breaking your neck to watch a girl walk by, then turn and watch her walk away is a total deal breaker!
I remember my ex looking back at females and he really believed I didn't notice but it is very embarrassing. I saw many attractive people when I was walking with him but would purposely avoid eye contact with them out of respect for my man at the time, its not that hard to do I think it has a lot to do with greed if that makes sense
💯
I agree. It should not be that hard to do if you want to please your man/woman. Be Loyal. Don’t lust. Have respect. God help us be better🙏🏼
There are also some women out there who are so into their partner that they just no longer see other good looking men. They just don't notice how good looking the other guy is.
And for those women, an indicator that the current relationship is going down the drain is when she DOES notice how good looking other guys are.
Those women likely have a difficult time understanding that other people don't work like that.
Truth
I like the way you framed that!
@@brittanymitchell5382 thank you.
So true! Preach all day! Thank you for someone with my kind of brain and speaking out with it. I get laughed at for saying this exact thing. I really thought I was a lone breed in this way of being and it hurt me to my souls core until now.
@@Stormy1984 It sucks you get laughed at for being different. There's no shame in that. And it doesn't mean that anything's wrong with you.
I hope that one day you'll find your person that doesn't laugh at you for that.
Looking is okay, but I think staring is what drives some women up the wall.. Either way my ex didn’t look at any woman in public while with me, and he was for the streets..lol..
I feel like staring, especially when your partner is in your presence, is disrespectful. I’m not talking about a glance, I’m talking STARING. Lusting is def cheating in my opinion, idc. I see many men I personally know, who are married or engaged and will literally post a photo of a celebrity or influencer woman on social media, lusting after her. And their wives/fiancé’s be following them!!!! And majority of the women/men ppl publicly lust after look nothing like their partner. That’s a slap in the face.
@@RoycesRant why are you trolling the comment section sir. Just leave you weren't invited to the party. Wander on....
That's true she's right
Yes. If I look nothing like my man gawks at, how can I feel pretty enough for him?! I will never feel good enough, so I know that he’s not for me.
I know it's wrong, but if my partner starts doing this around me I start reciprocating the gesture. I also make sure they look nothing like him as his eye candy is in comparison to me.
I know it's wrong but it eases the pain for me.
It's not wrong though. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. If it's okay for him to check out eye candy, and he is the head and the role model, then he should be confident enough to be okay with you doing it too.
@@socialdistancingon8333
Thank you
@@missybella9046 you're welcome.
Me too. 😅
Now both of you are wrong.
“Is your name Kevin?” 💀💀💀💀😂😂😂😂
Girl!!!!!!
“Kevin? Kevin Heart??”😂🤣
I caught my ex several times and the last time I caught him I was so over it. It turned into a huge fight especially after he told me, "her body was beautiful." 🤦🏽♀️
He said, “Ol’ set of Hams walkin’ by”- Omgeee-uhhh🤣😂🤣😂 I can’t with this one-uhhh!!! ☠️☠️☠️☠️
😂😂😂😂😂 I can never with him!!!!!😂😂😂😂
Its ok to acknowledge beauty but it becomes disrespectful when a man breaks his neck or goes out of their way to look at another woman and their significant other is walking next to them . Their has to be a little bit of boundaries there
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! JULY2021
@@micheleprice9771 Thank you for acknowledging this🙌
@@aliciasmith5012 Yr very welcome. GOD BLESS US ALL! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! BLESSED TODAY!THANK U LORD!!
@@micheleprice9771 Agreed and amen🙏
Exactly
Hey Tony! 👋🏽This sounds like another good video. My dad used to always get in trouble with my mom for his wandering eyes. That used to start some deadly fights in my household. I just think ppl should be more respectful in relationships. U ain't gotta break ya neck and turn around to look at her. At least wait until I'm not around. Geez 🤦🏽♀️
How about not doing it at all, whether around or not. Self discipline is what is needed…
@@Demetha_KhubaAgreed. Why cause so much pain over something so gross and immature. Just don't do it.
My ability to rate how attractive someone is to me correlates with my relationship status. If I am single then when I look at a man I automatically rate his attractiveness. However, if I am in a committed relationship then I have tunnel vision.
Same here
Speak!!!
Love when you bring the Word in along with your word, brother. God bless you! 🙏🏽
A light for our paths 🙌🏼
For me when I’m in love I see nobody else so wandering eyes is not hard for me. I can recognize a good looking man but not lust
When you said women look at other men, I agree. We are humans and we all acknowledge beauty/handsomeness
But men will go out they way thinking they got all the sense to try to look at another woman. Let you walk in front of them, go to another ale in the store to get a look etc... And I'm just laughing inside because I know exactly every game they pulling and they get mad because your not going for what their talking about. It don't matter how cute, pretty, fine etc you are men will look at any and everybody. It's childish and disrespectful to your partner. It's ok to see someone and noticed they are nice looking and go on bout your business but to go all out your way braking your neck etc.. your crossing the line period. Half the time their with their partner when they're doing so that tells you when they by their self it's much worst
It’s actually much less. The ones who stare into nothingness are the ones who break they neck when you gone🤷🏽♂️
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! JULY2021
True and straight to the point. I agree and I get it. Years ago, my ex husband would look at women’s upper body and make comments. It was irritating!!
That is by far one of the worse things a man can do right in front of their spouse. I have not had that to happen to me, but I can imagine that it is Very disrespectful and irritating.
Women know when a man is looking at them even when a man is standing right next to his woman - Do men understand how hurtful it is to a woman to know her man is looking at another women while next to her ? It’s a terrible feeling for the spouse / significant other ! I will leave a relationship where I become invisible over other woman ! It’s disgusting and super disrespectful! But mostly hurtful! It’s a hard no for me !
"Come here, you going to the office." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I’m sorry Tony but I am a psychology major and I have a different perspective. In reference to your wife not tripping off of you and your interaction with women. I believe that it has nothing to do with confidence in herself. It has more to do with how secure you have made her feel based off of your values and your treatment of her. People don’t fear who they know is “into” them. The more a person is “into” us the more secure we feel with them PERIOD!. The issue of the wondering eyes has more to do with values and being totally 💯 “into” the person you are with (Man or Woman) the only reason why men justify it is because society has backed them on their behavior. If it is said that when a woman has tunnel vision when she is in love then the same can be said with a man. So if he is in love then it is possible that he can have tunnel vision as well. The problem is that most men are not with women that they are in love with (PERIOD). They may like her, enjoy her company and are comfortable with her but he is NOT in love with her. The reason why you are able to be with your wife and not look and feel a little jealousy when she is giving another man a little too much of her attention is because you are in love with her. It is a natural human emotion to feel a little threatened when the person you are IN LOVE with is too attentive and entertains the opposite sex a little too much for your taste. Again, understand that she doesn’t feel threatened because you’ve already exposed that you’re threatened. You being threatened is what has made her feel confident to the point of being too comfortable with the opposite sex in your presence along with being too unaffected with your dealings with other women. You’re also faithful because your wife Unaffected. It’s the greatest reverse psychology. So in all respect ✊🏾 I agree that the less threatened a woman acts with her man is what makes him behave better just like the less affected your wife is makes you behave better. The more affected we behave the more the person exhibits those behaviors. Over all, if a person is really IN LOVE they will not have a desire to look or cheat and as for the looking, it won’t happen in the presence of their partner. Being IN LOVE is the causality in this dilemma. Both men and women do different things and behave different with different partners. The more in love they are the better their behavior is with that individual. POINT BLANK. Your wife is unaffected because she knows you are 💯% IN LOVE with her - PERIOD those men that are looking in the presence of their women are not 💯% in love with that woman. I’m sorry but this is facts -
Omg you are spot on?💯
Omg I’m so glad a man wrote this too!!! This is exactly bang on. It’s not necessarily the looking, it’s the messages it conveys. “I’m just jot that into you enough to stop admiring other women aka potential life partners)
Spot on
Thank you 🙌🏼
I was with one who looked at EVERY behind that walked past us, I mean EVERY woman’s behind while we were in conversation. Got so bad he started wearing sun glasses in the grocery store.
I think we all understand this Tony but there are limits . I had an ex that would just be eye locking and making the other girl smile she knew he was looking and would make her feel beautiful by doing this instead of having a good time with me there he was trying to eye lock with someone else. The girls where beautiful yes and I dont have any jealously I also looked at these girls but I would get sad because this was not acceptable what he was doing.
How you think all these extra-marital affairs/cheating situations started??? With a look.
Although he may know his "innocent" intentions for looking/staring, he does not her intentions on the receiving end.
When a man look at me I sometimes look back but I break the stare. Cause I think some men use it as a fishing pole. Next thing you know that man walking up trying to holla and you gotta to turn him down. So if I can avoid that I will keep tunnel vision and keep it moving.
Staring is a behavior of cheaters and if he still looking he is still struggling with being out there. A man staring at another women is like a women actually speaking to another man. If your looking your still lusting.
Confidence makes you secure in YOU!!
Sounds great, but if a man do this all the time, no matter how secure ,and confident you are, your man doing that will affect you.
@@greatt.5131 confidence will also make you leave a person who disrespects you!! 💖
So true
@@officialwatchamber 👏🏾👏🏾
@@officialwatchamber 💯
Thank you tony for your wonderful videos! May you and your beautiful wife have fun at the Maldives🌴🌺
Omg.... I have a male friend that looks at women and women's booty..all the time! I keep telling him that's why he is single 🤪🙄 cuz it's so obvious and most women will not be ok with his lack of self control.
Well said Tony, well said! When you're confident in yourself you don't stress on what your mate is doing, cause what's done in the dark will come to the light! 🙌👏🙌👏👏👏
Not always...some creeps get away with it.
@@sylviagaston9453 They may get away to the human eye, but my God sits high, looks low, & sees everything! God can give better vengeance than mankind, so trust they're not getting away with it.
@@shereewhite4828 Yes you are so right!
Tony couldn't be more right!! Adding on, when men- single or not- stare at me, it's like they are using xray vision to take my clothes off. It's so uncomfortable if it's like a HARD stare! Even if ion even wanna look their way lol. Anyone else experience this?!
Looking becomes wrong when it goes from looking to staring. That's hugely disrespectful to your significant other. No one wants to be on the receiving end of that.
Your Dad is a wonderful man of God. So are you. We all are BLESSED with both of you living out your calling, Ty 💗
Sorry Tony, I understand the human aspect of relationships. However It sounds like you are trying to excuse this or at least make woman more tolerant of this disrespectful behavior. I have never seen a man casually look at a woman to acknowledge how pretty she is. He is typically doing the most especially if he knows it gets under your skin and cause insecurity in the relationship. If he's like this when I'm around what is he like when I'm not around?
My experience, I couldn't continue being disrespected with the grunting sounds and licking lips when he saw a women then told I'm making it up.
Yet he wouldn't look at an attractive woman that was with a man because he knew he had to respect him but the the man I'm with didn't have to respect me. Hmmmm.
Woah that last past! Ouch...
I agree. I get sick of men making excuses for other men. It's downright disturbing and disrespectful. Gross Tony!
My ex did the exact same things. It really screwed with my head! He told me I was insecure. He began to enjoy hurting me
That's the intention. Especially if you are very confident in other areas of the relationship. Perhaps he was looking for a way to humiliate you.
That is what some will say because they want to lust and have you accept it, when it is unacceptable. A man will do only mostly what you allow them to do and get away with. Set your standards high and do not lower them for anything or anyone.
Usually the men that continue to look even after you say it hurts you don’t respect you or care to lose you. Watch their actions not their words. Get out of the relationship early bc they will do other things further down the line like lying and cheating. They only care for themselves. It has happened to me and I was naive not to get out early. Ended up he was cheating behind my back.
@@rosettajones1161truth ❤️🔥
I enjoy looking at beautiful things. Staring and turning my head is something different.
Bro Tony you have me laughing when you talk about your experience of the story of a set of Hams you see lol 🤣🤣🤣 . I've been enjoying these videos they been so on point . Continue to enjoy your time with your family 🌴⛱️🌺
@@dublingirl1691 Ikr, yesss he does 😂😂
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I always peeped this but felt it was a insecurity to my self . But then at the same time I’m losing interest in my girl because I be catching her do this and it’s like damn is it me ? But yea man this disrespectful because when we out and when her friends and shitt around I don’t stare but I can’t say the same for her . It makes me wanna seek outside of the relationship no cap
My ex did it with purpose to enoy me or he tried to make me insecure with his narc games ! But i got him back, if we were in a bar, i started to look a bit further away behind him...he straightaway looked behind him to see what I was looking at !!!!🤣😉 it is very enoying if a man looking in such an eccesive way! It ís disrespectfull !! But as soon as you do it back as a woman, they are in distress! Not knowing what happens here???! I knew his 'game' !!
Funny that you mentioned that cuz I met a Pastor at the Casino yesterday. He would just stare and talk about people. Grown boy in his full glory.
First of all, why is the Pastor even at a Casino? He should be at home studying God's word so he can be the epitome of what depicts God through his son Jesus. Yes, he can and should go somewhere other than church, but don't let it be the "boat" or gambling casinos.
@@rosettajones1161 that's what I'm saying. Thank God that Tony is showing me how to handle these grown boys.
I'm REALLY trying to get to that place of putting up with this cuz this has happened in all of my relationships and whenever I brought the conversation up respectfully, he'd say I was tripping or jealous and he'd start a fight. I don't feel like it's a matter of confidence because I am very confident but it's a matter of simply accepting this behavior and I'm having trouble with this. People should train themselves to look away. It may take some work but if you truly care about someone...just sayin'. Everyone recognizes people but when it gets to the point of staring to get eye contact or keep looking over at the person, it's more than a notice.
💯💯💯 wow yes so true going thru this now.. idk if I can accept the behavior and I’m tired of speaking on it so now I just say nothing makes me feel less
Totally relate to this one!!!! It's so True!!! I dealt with this with my ex for 9yrs. It actually started feeling like abuse!!!!! I was 100% faithful to her for 9yrs...
It felt like abuse because that’s what it was.
Well said!
@@patwilson1257 💯
Bro I been married 11 years and with my partner 16 years. The year of my marriage Mt wife started staring at other men INFRONT of me ..i though it was done until 6 years later still the same. Lol. I'm.still married to same woman somehow
@@bronkysboxing6273 my fiancé has the same problem and just to throw the cherry on top…she always singing these songs about sex
Thank you for explaining it. I've wanted to know about that so much. I really needed fo hear this. Love how your wife said those to you.. 💖
i understand noticing but to keep staring is another thing. Also no following online! i have had boyfriends stare too long and i have had boyfriends say i see how all these other men are looking at you and i see it too and it honestly makes me uncomfortable. i also see how some men i have dated will treat someone differently because they are pretty. you see the difference in the reaction between an average girl and a pretty girl. men treat me different all the time they will open the door for me but not for the average girl.. if you do that for everyone that's one thing we know that's who you are but if you don't normally do that for everyone and then the pretty one comes along and you do that's an issue. we can see we are not dumb or blind..also online i don't even have to post a provocative pic to get DMs so following random men i don't know is not necessary and they don't need to follow me. My man needs to follow those guidelines too. Social media should be respectfully controlled by the self. Why would you ever want to make your man or woman feel shitty if you love them? The only man i need to hear i am beautiful from is my man. I know just my selfies has caused relationship issues for others and i don't want to be a part of that. No man should keep hearting my selfie if they are with someone else and i don't want to post them if it is going to cause negative attention or problems in a relationship we can post the two of us together. It's not about trust either because you can trust your bf/gf but not others. people thing that the social media world is another world and it's not. if you wouldn't or shouldn't do it in the real world don't do it online. It's called common sense, respect, and loyalty.
Look me and my bf had a huge fight over this. He was lustful before me and he would stare at woman. He began doing it in front of me for months and my blood would boil! Eventually I had to say something and he said it was natural. I said, “Even though it may be natural doing it in front of your woman is unacceptable and disrespectful. If you want a strong woman in your life you must nurture that woman she’s turning into with your actions.” Don’t be surprised if she’s everything but that because of how you carried yourself around her. That was the last time I saw those eyes move. 🤣
The Word of The Most High says whoever looks on a man/woman to lust after her has already committed adultery in his/heart. It's a very fine line we all have to walk. However, it is hard not to look at beautiful people. A pastor at a church I attended said learn to have a neck up ministry when looking at people. 😁😆😄
If I point out to the person that I'm with, something that I feel is disrespectful and they keep doing it, then they're not the person for me. I should be able to rest in "my" person and they should be able to "rest" in me.
My Father told me that the person that I'm with should always bring out the best in me, not the worst. So if you "tell" the person you're with what makes you feel disrespected and they willingly disrespect you....in the famous words of Tony Gaskins, "Go head bout ya business".
Yes, we should have a peace about our relationship. I’m praying for that. And definitely bring out the best in each other 🙌🏼🙏🏼💖🙏🏼
Thank you for this man of God! My man having wandering eyes is hurtful, but hearing your spin on things makes it easier to stomach.
I've been going through this for awhile too ...Your right what do you do tho when you say tho its hurtful and disrespectful and youve already been doing what you can on your side by not trying to stirring the pot and by trying to be communicative and still giving a chance to let him prove himself even though there outcome is that they tell you they can look at them its not cheating and message them and watch too even when your out with him and he looks for so long but you dont .😢
I really liked how someone said you may want to look but you dont have too ... And that its about self control 😢these are all things ive been saying and im told im wrong but seeing all your answers really helped me out today i really want to thank everyone cuz ive been lost about this situation for quite some time i hope everyone has a good day but my days have been mentally hard and sad
Yes. We need to stay hopeful in finding our person that will cherish us and doesn’t want to harm us💗🙌🏼 God is listening to
Most days I feel that I’m better off being single than dealing w BS/stress of immature men. I will stay this way until Gods sends the right one. And I believe that He will❣️
Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, Tumblr.... I hate them all. 😭😭
I wouldn't be saying he's going home with me. I'd be like your going home alone because I'm going to dinner with the guy that noticed that I deserve better. True story, but you can only take so much. 🤷
The key to what was said was "look/notice and keep it moving" and "consider the person's track record"
Either way, there is no problem with noticing or looking because I can appreciate beauty as well, it's blatantly staring and even pausing a conversation to look at another woman. That happened to me. In my opinion, it's super disrespectful and that's when it's time to have a discussion and re-evaluate the relationship.
Honestly, I'd expect him to look at a pretty woman. He didn't GO BLIND after we started dating. It's all in the way he does it. If he's stopping, and doing a 360-degree turn to look, or UNDRESSING her with his eyes, it's VERY DISRESPECTFUL. Better sleep with one eye 👁️ open after this ❗ 🤣🤣🤣
your realness is what keeps me subscribed. Appreciate your lessons💎🙏
Sometimes you do get treated based on your attractiveness in life. It should be based on the outside as well the inside but it’s not. Sometimes the pretty people in heart are the ugliest and the ugliest people can be the prettiest in heart. Weird but true. That’s why I hate when You-tubers put people down based on looks. Do you know their heart? No you don’t. That’s the problem. It’s s okay to look at the cover of the book. But will you read it based on that!? If you don’t it’s your loss.
He said, “comea’ you goin’ to the office” -😂🤣😂☠️☠️☠️ I’m deaddd-uhh!!!
It’s one thing to look with admiration, I don’t mind that. LOOK because I’m looking too in admiration, it’s in our nature to do so. But when your staring in a flirty way trying to make eye contact opens up the possibility for the other women to think there’s a chance. It’s beyond disrespectful because depending on the type of women she is there’s one to two things she gonna think to herself and that’s 1. He likes me although he’s with his women and they start eye dancing. Or 2. She notices him in her peripheral never making eye contact while thinking he’s stupid to flirt with his women beside him because she’s smart enough to know that his woman sees his stupid ass but she dares not play that game with him because of the self respect she has for herself. Sorry not sorry, I will not stand to be disrespected AND made a fool of. I’m out!
to me it's how you look;when I was younger I had a boyfriend look at other women and when I saw it I would hit him in back of his head lol
The Bible says to keep your eyes looking forward, if you don’t stare you can’t be tempted.
I am very proud of you that you recognize what God has said about lusting. If many men did, a lot of divorces would never happen.
“Is your name Kevin…?!” 👀👀👀🥴🥴🥴🥴 WRONG GUY 🥲🥲🥲 That man sitting in the dark.. COULD NEVER ❗️❗️❗️😅
"Let a man do what he want to do , so you can see what he rather do".
It IS easy to not look. I tried it, it just takes awareness and being conscious of your behavour.
My favorite Tonyism is "Medicine in the glasses"! 👓 😂😂
My opinion those are lustful eyes! If you don't know that person why are you staring at them 🤷🏽♀️ another man can't catch my eye.
Another man might not catch your eye but looking is a natural thing. I think that when it comes to lusting and looking these are obviously two different things altogether. Also, you will most likely know what they are staring at when you see them looking so hard, whether at the top, mid section or legs, etc...You will not have to guest you will instantly notice most times.
I pray for all people watching this please pray for me false doing the same thing it's heart-wrenching and I can't take much more I need God to intervene I pray he does for all of us in Jesus mighty name. Amen!
I'm right there with you. It has all come to a head this holiday. He wants to go where young women are scantily clad so that he can ogle. I've put up with it long enough. When I look at him, now all I can see is a gross old pervert. This man is sixty looking at girls young enough to be his granddaughters. I don't care about any excuses Tony is giving. This is disgusting abuse, and don't let anyone gaslight you into thinking that it isn't.
Amen 🙏🏼
Not acceptable, respect women , don't wound them, we need to feel we have a safe space when we are with a MAN a real man wouldn't hurt the love if his life, a BOY will🙌
Kevin Hart in the house or Jamaica 🇯🇲!!!😂🤣😂☠️☠️☠️
It is flattering at first when a man notices me but when they continue to glare it becomes very uncomfortable.. I notice attractive men and I tell myself turn away!!! Lol 😂
Yes, it has to be intentional- for us to turn away and redirect our brain/ thoughts. We have to think pure if we want to be pure.
God presented Eve to Adam for a look over. Men and women can look without being disrespectful because the truth is we all have eyes to see. There's a difference between acknowledgement of beauty/handsomeness and "eye rape".
I've witnessed Women getting Mad at the other Woman because her Mad looking 🙄 just Crazy
Yes!!! And I’m not even looking his way!! I work at the mall and get this ALL the time. It’s on the brink of the woman looking like they want to come in my store and fight me!
Now that's ridiculous but it's tactic the man uses. He's never responsible for what happens in their situationship.
@@wandamajette5000 I Agree
well some women are purposely trying to be provactive. Wearing the least, tightest, most sexual clothing. They want people to stare, especially your man. It gives her an ego boost that she can get your man. Women do brag about this.
@@Wholelottarosie-lc8ed
That's exactly why a man shouldn't as he claims "innocently" look at a women. He has no clue what her intentions are. She could be evil but there he goes flirting with evil. So much for discernment.
I care more about his lack of integrity than hers. There will always be women like that. Will he crumble at every woman that has on spandex or a tight top?
If you don't have self control when we are together then what happens when we are not?
For me this was a deal breaker.
Why would I submit to a man with a wandering eye? I've never had a wandering eye in a relationship. Acknowledging that someone is attractive in your mind is not the same thing as a wandering eye. Some people look around with the intention to find your replacement. I won't put a man in a position to wander if I want him or not. Impulse control works.
I feel like we all recognize beauty. Woman or Man. I am a female I acknowledge if a woman is beautiful and a man is handsome. I will say it before my boyfriend sometimes. If he looks that is fine by me….However, if your staring to the point your eyes about to pop out👀 and we are together then that is disrespectful.
Looking at a beautiful person is like someone who rarely drinks but a few times a year on holidays. It happens. But it has no power over you. But then you have the alcoholics!
Shared this message immediately! I guess it's easier to aspect concepts like this 1 when it comes from a man 💯💯💯
Encore 👏🏽
Also when you evolve not to many people you use to find attractive & 👀in the same way. Your overview changes.
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