Namskar sir Really heart touching practical behaviour of parents. Their ambitions never end,the son who achieved better'position with hard work has to support till he alive,the nalayak other sons expects financial support. The reality in the society, explained well.The points are to be discussed and forwarded to families Thanks sir
I strongly recommend to never reveal your entire salary to anyone, not even your spouse. If at all you wish to be honest, tell your monthly salary after tax deduction and EPF+VPF deduction and other tax savings methods you may use such as PPF or home/education loan. So if you get 1 lakh/month on paper, tell your salary as maybe 70,000 or 75,000 per month (after tax and tax saving deductions). Always underplay your salary. This becomes even more crucial when your parents have a habit of revealing your life to their relatives and friends.
It's very tough to hide income from wife as in digital age u get msg of every transaction but one thing you can do it invest your money in property gold sip stocks anywhere after keeping a lumsum money of at least 5 to 10 lakhs in bank for emergency, and always keep crying before your wife that you don't have money left after investment .
Is comment section m ek v ladki Nhi dekhige yhi problem h Jb EQUALITY ki bat ati h SALA EK LADKI KO UKRAINE NA CHODNE KA PAVANDI NHI LAGA HALA KI LADKE KM H LADKIO S .... BEST H SHADI MY KRO.....
I am female, working as Director in Govt. department. My in-laws and their other relatives never recognized me as an officer. Because they allwere group C . My father in law introduce me as 'she is assistant director' Why our society never admire strong woman as bahu. Now I am 54 . But still I get annoyed with their peculier attitude. All other female members of the family are housewives and although I am better in household duties and take male responsibilities , they admire mediocre bahus. What is this phenomena?? I wonder.
They are useless jealous people. Stay away from them and keep interactions to minimum. Many middle class people will not give any credit to working bahu but enjoy her income
Its jealousy ma'am ...........for happiness......ignore them.........don't give this thoughts place in memory.........ultimately life never promised it gone be fair...........
The video is amazing sir.. and great life lessons.. my life is also a very similar ...I am 45 and divorced now.. and my parents are no more..my advise to younger people , please take care of your life as a first priority.. don't be too good and try to make every one happy.. people will use you as a colour pencil to make their life colourful.. you must find a good paying career , a loving wife, have children , house and have connection with God.. you will find people who emotionally make you feel guilty , be very careful.. people you trust and love most will betray you..
@upworkprofileevideonoorula No loving wife in reality, girls simply select boy based on salary, property, height, professional status. Girls treat man ATM machine
This video should be circulated to all Indian families. It's so important that lot of youngsters gets into the trap of Seva. The life becomes so miserable that so many losses the conference and dumped by their own family.
Yup, but after sharing with anyone, most people with narrow minded will make comments to me like I'm being brainwashed with this or I'm getting away from Indian tradition and been influenced by western one. It's too complex bro
@@ygp47 I don't understand after getting married what's the role of parents. They should be only be in advisory role. After having 2 children and 17 years of marriage my mother still made me emotionally black mail to leave everything and take care of her. I emotional fool did it and now regretting. The damage has happened and no way I can fixed it.
👏👏👏👏 Nobody talks about these topics the way you do! I went through this scenario for around 20 years, got depressed, had many sessions for 10 months or so with a psychologist to learn to say “STOP I CANT DO MORE, I HAVE A PERSONAL AND FAMILY LIFE ALSO “ things got improved gradually…
Feeling lucky to be born in a good family. My father act harsh on me only to make me work more hard and become successful. He has already enough savings to live like king along with his govt. pension therefore he has no greed for money. Only thing he wants to see is me standing on my own feet.
I am 22 hailing from a small town in Bihar currently pursuing mbbs and brought up in lower middle class family..i hope I get the courage to send this video to my mother..your videos are such an eye opener
We all should understand parents r selfish. They don't care about future of their children. My sister is also falling in their trap n destroying her life.
My selfish cunning mom want me to work like serveht for her fav daughter she is brate now nothing no talent only fair and beautiful that everyone like. But i m dusky less beautiful but attractive highr iq level love studying highly ambitious and multi-talented. But got no support from faimly. She want me to be house wife stop being ambitious individuals and book warm . all those quality she want put in my young sister .i m happy and free from future responsibility i will never come home once i m succeed in life
@@shwetathakur4707 please try to stay away and keep some distance with her and don't leave your goal otherwise you'll lost yourself in her hands.. I'm also seeing these types of situations..
Yes I am a 35 year old female I am a chartered accountant I started working for good salary from the age of 25 My mom postponed my marriage till I was 32 with greed to swindle my income along with my younger brother While her son got married at 28 while he is 20% salary compared to me It is absolutely true
Are to aap love marriage kar lena tha. Par arrange marriage me to aapka shoshan hi hota. Job k sath bohot aur torture bhi bardaasht karna padta maa to phir bhi achhi hoti hai aap kanhi ja k dekho working women ki halat bhi bohot kharab hoti hai sasuraal mai torture zyada hota hai sasural ma compared to mauka. Kuch 10 %ko achhe family mile hai baaki ro rahe hai sab
Sad to hear that madam. That our own parents treat us like sona ka anda denewali murgi. Start your journey now. Believe in God and in you only. All the best. You will do well
True insights 👌. Some parents are pressurising their good boys even after more than 10 or 15 years of marriage of their sibling for monetary helping them. And they themselves are fully supporting their nikkama child by all power and will. What about the life of good boy?
Sangwanji should be a guest lecturer at various universities all over the country to impart these precious life lessons to students so that they can make this country and society a better place to live in
South Asian parents are almost alike. I am suffering from the same situation. All the burden of financial support to family is put on my shoulders as a punishment to my hard work. Even the education of siblings has to be bore by me. Thank you for your help ☺️🙏🏼 Love from Pakistan 🇵🇰
Exactly the story of my life … high earning of my husband is actually a curse … his parents are just after his money … hamare beech kabhi understanding unhone banne nahi di …. Most times I feel better hota ek normal earning wale se shaadi hoti … dono husband wife mil ke kamate aur achi life jeete
@@Jaihindurashtra1igh earning has no limit. Jitna high utna hi kaam lagta hain. But for benchmark like I think, you can be having 1year or more emergency fund, not worrying about electricity bill and stuffs, can alot 5%-10% of your income to buy things for fun or out of need without worrying about savings, 20-40k phone looks very normal budget to you. And many more.
This is why I isolated myself from everyone (family, friends, etc.) once I became rich and started maintaining a low profile and pretend like I am just making enough money to make ends meet. No parents, no siblings, no relatives, no friends, no wife, no partners, no children. I am enjoying everything myself as I earned it all by myself! ;)
I'm planning the same, don't want kids and wife, I'll just enjoy my life, travel, meet new people, try their culture, instead of being miserable with a boring sad life, investing all my money on kids.
I can relate this to my father's life. He dedicated large chunk of his life for taking care of parents and siblings, and later was thrown out by same peoole.
@@VikashSingh-vp6zl god had watched him. Dnt wry. God ll gve him 1k times more. Ache karmo ka fll jrur milta hai.. Chahe agle janam me shi.... Dnt wry
Sir In your 3 rd Happiness course I during query time asked u one question. It is very similar to my situation. I am very relieved from this guilt trip now. I face emotional blackmail of my parents with logic and my comments are more articulate. I will watch it atleast 10 times more. Your effort is very visionary.. its benefits can be seen in long term when sukoon and stability comes in life. Relations remain entact by following ur advice. Your video why beta bahu should not live with in laws was legendary in my opinion. I am thankful I found u before I turn age 30. My pressure of doing good in sarkari naukari is also relieved. Ckakki peasing aaraam sai aur aanch ko kam kar do has given ultimate sukoon to me. Your advice is doing more good in society than all other reforms, as you are addressing issues which no one is discussing but where actually the root cause of problems lie. Regards
I am from IIT and in the industry for 7 years. I can vouch that it's all true. Thanks to my father, he maintained a register. I used to hate him for that in the beginning but later that turned out to be a saviour from lot of disputes.
@@shrishri8898 bhai life ka koi hard and fast rule nahi hota aaj kal degree ki value nahi hai skills ki job hai.Mere sath ke pade hue bilkul low grade college se aaj 20 lakh ke package par hai
One thing i understood from this session is that never reveal your income , not even to your parents, if you're earning 30lakh pa tell them it's 20 and save the surplus.... As he said it all comes down to money, maintain a register for expenses of all sorts because only you are responsible for your future and happiness and no one else ....
especially not reveal to spouse, especially woman should take care of their finances, giving everything to husband landed my friend empty handed and divorced recently
whatever he said in the video is 100% true, one of my uncles is an aeronautical engineer he started earning at the age of 23 and got married at the age of 30 with my aunt, he has been earning for the last 7 years and had nothing in the name of savings, did not own a house, a car or any asset, his family especially his mother was milking his money and his other siblings were beneficiaries, his family told him that they do not have any money to spend on his wedding so he had to bear all the expenses, his family also took dowry but neither bride nor groom knows till date what happened to that cash. But after getting married to my aunt he was able to book a flat within 2 years of their marriage and they both were able to save enough money to go on 2-3 trips every year, they are now enjoying their life cuz my uncle could see what was right and what was wrong, very late but still understood. Boys never think that your parents can't take advantage of you.
Hi sir ..u logics are life changing material. Pls make a vedio where mother in law has done a job through out her whole life but now bahu she wants job less just to take care of child , her family n relatives. This is my real life issue ..now m having two kids but doing nothing. If I want to raise my life again on track then she again n again interferes my decision n tells my husband very humbly that my husband always belive his mother not me. Wahi ghisa pita excuse ki bache kon dekhega ..n she's very smart enough to cover her evil feelings for me.
If you desire to do job, work on getting it otherwise your life will be hell in regret and frustration ,Even can give you mental issues in future My sister had same situation but she resisted second child,and now his son is 10 and she has joined the job,it helps her socialise,and be happy otherwise life as housewife can be frustratingly boring for many
Uncle how can you be so right and to the point in all topics. I have seen my friend suffering as his wife who is also doctor and has no father, she is doing everything for her mother and siblings at the stake for her marriage. My friend doesn't ask her income but to start family as he is already 38 but she doesn't want to think of kids till she settles down her siblings and her family is emotionally controlling her. Another patient of mine is working 15 hours after domestic violence in marriage and divorce. But even after working so hard for mother and brother they dont care. So many times parents put emotions trap and the obedient kid suffers. Hopefully parents understand that kids are not their lottery.
This has blown my mind. Every sentence makes sence and is so practical. Yup in today's world, there are most of videos of about how to get successful.... How get to that last ladder of success but when people reach their, they have all knowledge about Professional stuff but never thought of what will happen to his social life when he gets along with it.
Same thing happened with my father who had started to earn at the age of 16 and made a house for the family . My other uncle's though haven't done much but they are taking equal shares in property and after doing so much he hasn't got anything other than criticism from all.
Bhai same mere dad ke saath hua hai my dad started and established gold silver jewellery business and he is gave many gold silver to my uncle and also gave to two elder brother of him and all three had never returned anything to my dad even uncle toh ghr ka kharcha bhi nhi uthate my dad had paid their kid's school fee upto 12th also and the properties my dad bought also my uncle's are demanding.. I'm seeing my dad's sacrifice for family and my both uncle are just enjoying life with my dad's Money
@millionaire bro then did you or your father tok cunsoltation or not? Exp and good Cunsoltants can change ur father life, do u know(sorry for that kind of english)
My husband is going through this I feel bad try not to fight but when I see injustice towards us from family I try to stop him 😢I love him and want him to be proud always .
I have experienced the same. But whenever I have tried to convey/explain the same as a son, I was always be seen as mean by others including the parents. Thanks for sharing the video.
As a first time would be mom, I always think, what is the the right way. Kaha galti hui hai? Kisse hui hai aur mai kaise us galti ko apne bacche ke saath hone se rok sakti hun. How can we break this cycle? Maine ye video dekhn start hi is intention se kiya ki I will learn how to not let being good a curse on my son (if I have a son). Very helpful. I absolutely agree. Bacche hume kucch owe nahi karte. Mai Aaj keh rahi hun. Aaj se 30 saal baad bhi kahungi. We bring them into this world, we spend on their studies or give them the best we can for our own selfish reasons. That selfish reason can be love for our blood or our own desire to look good parents in the eyes of the society. Koi bhi insaan kahi door kisi anjaan ke naam pe paisa bhej de, use padha likha de, aur fir ummid kare ki maine kiya toh mujhe milna chahiye, toh shayad fair hai. Aur tab nahi mil raha toh aapne invest karne se pehle offer documents thik se padhe nahi. Bacchon ko apne budhaape ki laathi banana chhorna parega. Nahi toh woh bas kaath ke hi ho ke reh jaayenge. Ye chaahte ho apne jigar ke tukde se toh fir karo. Lage raho.
Ek gyan yeh bhi De dein sabko ki package sabko batana obligation nahi hai. Initial bata bhi diya to aagei ke promotion etc par chup rehna seekhein. Parents or other relatives or friends don’t have to know ur package. Yeh india ki basic badatameez aadat hai to ask people’s packages. Yahan tak ki rah chalte driver, paanwale bhi pooch lete hain without a hitch . It’s an important confidential information. Please keep it to urself
True 👍 आपने बिल्कुल भी extreem नहीं बताया है, ऐसा लगा कि मेरे husband की ही story है, और बिल्कुल उन्होंने जॉब लगने के 10 साल तक शादी नहीं की,but शादी के बाद मेरे साथ हुए behaviour से एहसास हुआ कि घर वाले शादी नहीं करना चाहते थे, और हमारी शादी को 14 साल हो गए हैं husbsnd को आज भी एहसास नहीं है, उनके भाई बहनों की लाइन ही इतनी लंबी है कि खत्म ही नहीं होती
i agreed to your single word i am facing the same problem in my married life...i feel so so unsecured in my marriage....that make me feel very worried for my children's... .
Loved the topic sir ! Thouy i am not from a service class community, but can totally understand the complexity of this situation. As you always say - your topics are really interesting & true to life . They are preparing me for my future. Thank you so much.
I just love your straight forward talk... Keep it up sir 👍...yes it is true that no wife or mother fight for unemployed husband /son ...it is for the husband /son who is earning very well...even no husband and father fight for their wife/daughter because she is not earning.. Money play a bigger role in relationship.. It may be sounds Bitter but the harsh truth of relationship.....
I think we should set the limit for the monthly installment given to parents every month.....ki ye ek limit hai....me har month bas itne pese de skta hun.....jisse parents ko clear rahe...or vo utne he peson me apne kharche manage kr sake......pls share ur views on this🙏
101 % truth through which i have gone as a wife . Same happened. Now end he is 80 i sm 76 . AB PACHHATAYE HOT KYA JAB CHIDIYA CHUG GAYI KHET . BAS NAYE BACHHO YE PERFECT ADVICE HAI PL SUNO . SEVA JARUR KARO LEKIN KHUDAKO AAUR APANI JINDAGI BARBAD KARAKE NAHI . BE PRACTICAL AND LIVE HAPPILY FOR EVER .
Sir you are the only one hope to the emotional health of youth. Indian youth is actually reparenting themselves in adulthood because of the traumatized childhood we had. Everything is not fault of our parents because they are product of their upbringing but it is actually good that today's youth is trying not to take that trauma to next generation by reparenting themselves. Tbh my parents are very good. But I see such examples everywhere..in fact my own father is the example of this phenomenon. He was the topper, always successful one earning for us but my grandparents are closer to the sons who are living with them.
Thanks sir ji, each and every word is true.ur courageous sir. My son is studying iit patna, I understand what should not to do in future. Write book sir.
I am slightly over aged for his talks. I am 48. But I can't understand. He means that successful, highly earning & educated boys from middle income background should not marry non-working, meagerly earning girls. Lucidly he has given reasons for this. May be he is right in broader sense.
U r my favourite youtuber sir.. being a jaat I can understand what u are trying to highlight.. it's really painful being a bahoo and beta in jaat families.. u r such a blessing.. I know abhi kuch humara to hona Jana nahi hai .. but yes change to aaiga..
This same scenario happened to me. I somehow got out of this curse by accepting the society and shed my image of a good boy and lowered their expectations like hell. Now, I am at peace. Thanks for the video, Sir.
sir your videos are very insightful, you are only guru in my life so far, dint have anyone to give me advice or life lessons ever in life, you are the first person to provide these lessons, thanks to what you are doing, request to make a video guiding single persons in their life forward, we have no direction, no family for whom we need to earn, especially single woman have no security/support etc and life seems hell at times, but we want to find that one thing that keeeps going and gives motivation
Sir Each n every word of uor is bitter truth ....i faced the same situation ...had to left my job due to transferrable govt job of my good husband 🙄....same scenario in my inlaws family ...my brother in law is enjoying as he is Jobless ....n we r suffering till date .....Good boy suffered a lot ....my in laws also support him ...expectation r endless
Mushkil ye hai ki aise ache ladke apne ap ke khud hi dushman hote hai inko biwi samjhati hai ki apne paise sambhal ke do kisi ko to biwi hi inko dushman lagti hai villain lagti hai ki mere gharwalo ke liye aise bol rahi hai ,aur inke ma baap bhai behan in par hi sari responsibility dal dete hai ,inke apne bacho ke liye kuch bachta nahi ,jab kharab time ata hai inka tab koi inko nikal ke deta nahi
Though may sound a bit harsh to the majority but spot on sir!! The sooner both sides realize and take a practical view of things life would be better. Keep going with this lesser discussed topics. Best wishes.
The problem is not being good. The problem is not being strong. We have say no and communicate directly. No need to mind about their feelings when others intention is to hurt your feelings. No need to follow morality when they are immoral.
Yes this must be happening in NCR or any other part of India but my parents never ask for any financial or physical help till now to improve their living standards. Their age is more then 70 years and upto now they have very high moral & self respect. They are from Chamoli Uttarakhand 🙏 hope you understand my feelings. Otherwise video is very authentic and pathfinder but there must be some different aspects of any situation
You have the unique ability to make your deepest insight points with a sledgehammer yet making me split in laughter right through your discourse. Captain Shankar retd
Indians treat kids like a investment and cheap bonded labour. That's why we distribute sweets upon birth of boy as he will earn money later and serve as old age pension scheme, provider of life comforts. Girls are seen as burden as she will move out after marriage and won't provide for parents. Infact with girls earning, nowadays parents are trying to encash daughters too and expecting them to provide comforts for them. This is very wrong mindset. Kids are not supposed to be providers of parents. Children need to come out of this mindset as it's parents who produced them out of their will. Parents shall learn to survive out of own resources and not use kids as a ROI generating machine.
True that bad or less achiever boys get more love and attention from parents as compared to kids who listen to parents...Good boys are sensitive to parents feeling and small ones give a sh,,et all the time to parents n still parents care more of small ones then good boy.....Good boy gets confused and someday he becomes bad boy too .......
Sir I am currently in the same situation as you described but one thing i would like to correct in your situation that girl who is marrying a person is insecure moneywise,that not correct in my opinion.Since i got married i have been watching that my husband is getting exploited not only by his parents but by his sister & brother also.But my husband thinks this is only his responsibilty to take care of everything and he is always very happy with this.
Ma ke naam ki property ladki nhi le sakti, aur ladki apne naam ki hui property se nikal sakti hai sabko, so be careful. Not a sensible decision to take peoperty on girls name, buying property on girls name is not the gensture to show love
Hats off sir for exposing one of the most important but undervalued discussion in today's society. Being good boy us really very tough but still one must understand the implication of too good even in later parts of the life.
My husband is the good boy. I am also a doctor. My husband bought a land for hospital construction. My sasur ji insisted his name should be added as a owner. Ab aaga chalke shayad pati k bhai aur behen humse paise maangenge. This is very unfair. Bhai behen ka apne hi bhai ki kamai pe kaise haq ban sakta hai. And sasur ne hame jaan bujh k atka k rakha hai. Aur hamare naam pe karne bolenge to bahot bakheda kr denge. Loan leke husband ko padhaya tha usi ka gaana gaate rehte hai. Shaadi k liye bhi loan liya tha. Sab mere husband ne pay kiya. Mere ko to pata bhi nahi the k itna loan isko pay karna hai. Pata nahi aage kya hoga
Literally sir, you are great.. Itna dil dukha hai mera video dekh ke.. Bahot relatable hai..ma bap bahot use karte hai bachhe ko.. Mere husband ko dekh rahi hai.. Bura lagta hai
Sir you are bringing very genuine scenarios but the hard truth is many people will not even watch this and who will watch they will think that you are provoking against parents
Namskar sir
Really heart touching practical behaviour of parents.
Their ambitions never end,the son who achieved better'position with hard work has to support till he alive,the nalayak other sons expects financial support.
The reality in the society, explained well.The points are to be discussed and forwarded to families
Thanks sir
False dowry case daal kar chati ka dhoodh yaad dila sakti hai
Happiness
@@nationlove7738 phir toh ho liya.
Isss sentence ka aage koi court case nahi rukega
I strongly recommend to never reveal your entire salary to anyone, not even your spouse. If at all you wish to be honest, tell your monthly salary after tax deduction and EPF+VPF deduction and other tax savings methods you may use such as PPF or home/education loan. So if you get 1 lakh/month on paper, tell your salary as maybe 70,000 or 75,000 per month (after tax and tax saving deductions).
Always underplay your salary. This becomes even more crucial when your parents have a habit of revealing your life to their relatives and friends.
ur last line is so true
Hmmm.. baat to hai
It's very tough to hide income from wife as in digital age u get msg of every transaction but one thing you can do it invest your money in property gold sip stocks anywhere after keeping a lumsum money of at least 5 to 10 lakhs in bank for emergency, and always keep crying before your wife that you don't have money left after investment .
Very True...you said brother
Me and my husband have done the same...we never disclose our salary
high salary hogi to aadmi ki atma choosegi............sir you made me cry here.
That's reality
Is comment section m ek v ladki Nhi dekhige yhi problem h Jb EQUALITY ki bat ati h SALA EK LADKI KO UKRAINE NA CHODNE KA PAVANDI NHI LAGA HALA KI LADKE KM H LADKIO S ....
BEST H SHADI MY KRO.....
Iska mtlb kya he??
Matalab bhai aesa bhi hota Hain...kya😢
Kuch aur bhi choosegi😂
I am female, working as Director in Govt. department. My in-laws and their other relatives never recognized me as an officer. Because they allwere group C . My father in law introduce me as 'she is assistant director' Why our society never admire strong woman as bahu. Now I am 54 . But still I get annoyed with their peculier attitude. All other female members of the family are housewives and although I am better in household duties and take male responsibilities , they admire mediocre bahus. What is this phenomena?? I wonder.
They are useless jealous people. Stay away from them and keep interactions to minimum. Many middle class people will not give any credit to working bahu but enjoy her income
@@chandranem why do they admire secretly? Why can’t they say openly , why so much ego
Same
U must b arrogant
Its jealousy ma'am ...........for happiness......ignore them.........don't give this thoughts place in memory.........ultimately life never promised it gone be fair...........
Nikamme siblings ka life set karrna and sort out karrna is also the responsibility of the successful one. This is also one of the items :)
Yes you are absolutely right sir. And they never settle...
@@salimpasha1212 and makes life of the spouse/kids of successful one hell
@@salimpasha1212 well Said facing same issue
Aisa hi ho rha h mere sath b
Ohh..i thought ..m the only one have nikkama sibling
The video is amazing sir.. and great life lessons.. my life is also a very similar ...I am 45 and divorced now.. and my parents are no more..my advise to younger people , please take care of your life as a first priority.. don't be too good and try to make every one happy.. people will use you as a colour pencil to make their life colourful.. you must find a good paying career , a loving wife, have children , house and have connection with God.. you will find people who emotionally make you feel guilty , be very careful.. people you trust and love most will betray you..
@upworkprofileevideonoorula
No loving wife in reality, girls simply select boy based on salary, property, height, professional status. Girls treat man ATM machine
I have suffered s lot
My husband had been used as ATM
My in laws made my life Hell
Yes your content is very nice
Thanks Sir
@royshelly7982
Are you not husband as ATM?
Actual reality girls simply select boy based on salary, property, height, professional status.
@@raghunathreddybudda-hk1jc& girls are select on beauty ,stop crying & earn money.
How is it going now with your in-laws?
This video should be circulated to all Indian families. It's so important that lot of youngsters gets into the trap of Seva. The life becomes so miserable that so many losses the conference and dumped by their own family.
Yup, but after sharing with anyone, most people with narrow minded will make comments to me like I'm being brainwashed with this or I'm getting away from Indian tradition and been influenced by western one. It's too complex bro
@@ygp47 I don't understand after getting married what's the role of parents. They should be only be in advisory role. After having 2 children and 17 years of marriage my mother still made me emotionally black mail to leave everything and take care of her. I emotional fool did it and now regretting. The damage has happened and no way I can fixed it.
Bhai leave your toxic mother as soon as possible ....I did the same and now things are better for me ...
True .
I hv seen in practicality
@@rahuljagdale9113same
👏👏👏👏 Nobody talks about these topics the way you do! I went through this scenario for around 20 years, got depressed, had many sessions for 10 months or so with a psychologist to learn to say “STOP I CANT DO MORE, I HAVE A PERSONAL AND FAMILY LIFE ALSO “ things got improved gradually…
I am also suffering from same issue since last 5 year. Can you advice me?
Just amazing... I'm an IIT grad, happened with me in my initial years of my career. After 4-5 years I set up strict boundaries with my parents
Feeling lucky to be born in a good family. My father act harsh on me only to make me work more hard and become successful. He has already enough savings to live like king along with his govt. pension therefore he has no greed for money. Only thing he wants to see is me standing on my own feet.
I am 22 hailing from a small town in Bihar currently pursuing mbbs and brought up in lower middle class family..i hope I get the courage to send this video to my mother..your videos are such an eye opener
Atleast mbbs kar raha hai bhai tu
Bhai, agar tereko lag raha hai ki Dr ban kar tu aish karega, bhul ja
@@mrppsr4731 MBBS is long enough to realise that
Never do this. This man is misleading youths. He will not tell the same to his own son and daughter
@@triptydatta7540 can you please give some points bhai?
Very True Sir.Sometimes I feel nikamma hona hi sabse acha hai.No Tension No responsibilities No expectations
True
Your wisdom is earthy and definitely one of the best I have heard. Much, much better than the so-called, self-proclaimed influencers.
Not just good boys, even good girls nowadays fall into this trap. 😕. This is the story of my life.
I too agree, one of the two daughters , have been living under guilt for so many years to help them but it has been very painful
We all should understand parents r selfish. They don't care about future of their children. My sister is also falling in their trap n destroying her life.
My selfish cunning mom want me to work like serveht for her fav daughter she is brate now nothing no talent only fair and beautiful that everyone like. But i m dusky less beautiful but attractive highr iq level love studying highly ambitious and multi-talented. But got no support from faimly. She want me to be house wife stop being ambitious individuals and book warm . all those quality she want put in my young sister .i m happy and free from future responsibility i will never come home once i m succeed in life
@@shwetathakur4707 how can parents be so discriminating that too against their own child this is soooo sad and disheartening 😢
@@shwetathakur4707 please try to stay away and keep some distance with her and don't leave your goal otherwise you'll lost yourself in her hands.. I'm also seeing these types of situations..
Yes I am a 35 year old female
I am a chartered accountant I started working for good salary from the age of 25
My mom postponed my marriage till I was 32 with greed to swindle my income along with my younger brother
While her son got married at 28 while he is 20% salary compared to me
It is absolutely true
God bless you. Sad to hear
Are to aap love marriage kar lena tha. Par arrange marriage me to aapka shoshan hi hota. Job k sath bohot aur torture bhi bardaasht karna padta maa to phir bhi achhi hoti hai aap kanhi ja k dekho working women ki halat bhi bohot kharab hoti hai sasuraal mai torture zyada hota hai sasural ma compared to mauka. Kuch 10 %ko achhe family mile hai baaki ro rahe hai sab
Sad to hear that madam. That our own parents treat us like sona ka anda denewali murgi. Start your journey now. Believe in God and in you only. All the best. You will do well
Same thing for studious, obedient, working ladies. Arranged marriage is only option.
True insights 👌.
Some parents are pressurising their good boys even after more than 10 or 15 years of marriage of their sibling for monetary helping them. And they themselves are fully supporting their nikkama child by all power and will. What about the life of good boy?
The son should know to deal with it
Same happening with my husband.. 😑
Shame on you bro. Wo tera bhai ya teri behen hai. Tere jaise bewkoof ko samjhane ka man nhi tha lekin samjhana pada.
Sangwanji should be a guest lecturer at various universities all over the country to impart these precious life lessons to students so that they can make this country and society a better place to live in
Eye opening ! this kind of mirrors many living examples - simply great Sir
U always speack very practical truth which noboday dared to speak.
@speak
Shukriya sir ladko ki problem samajhne ke liye
Amir bante hi sab se pahle gharwale hi dushman Ban jate hain...
well said
South Asian parents are almost alike. I am suffering from the same situation. All the burden of financial support to family is put on my shoulders as a punishment to my hard work. Even the education of siblings has to be bore by me. Thank you for your help ☺️🙏🏼 Love from Pakistan 🇵🇰
Exactly the story of my life … high earning of my husband is actually a curse … his parents are just after his money … hamare beech kabhi understanding unhone banne nahi di …. Most times I feel better hota ek normal earning wale se shaadi hoti … dono husband wife mil ke kamate aur achi life jeete
Kisi or ladke se pyar search krna dekho
Mam high earning means like 1lakhs + or more than , that as I earn 1 L I don't know that is it high or medium
@@Jaihindurashtra1igh earning has no limit. Jitna high utna hi kaam lagta hain. But for benchmark like I think, you can be having 1year or more emergency fund, not worrying about electricity bill and stuffs, can alot 5%-10% of your income to buy things for fun or out of need without worrying about savings, 20-40k phone looks very normal budget to you. And many more.
@@Jaihindurashtra12 lac + minimum.
@@Jaihindurashtra1salaried people consider middle class except group 1 officer.
Sir, you told my life's story. Really, eye opening. Thank you.
सही कहा . जो अच्छा होगा उसका सब use करेँगे माँ बाप भाई बहन .
This is why I isolated myself from everyone (family, friends, etc.) once I became rich and started maintaining a low profile and pretend like I am just making enough money to make ends meet. No parents, no siblings, no relatives, no friends, no wife, no partners, no children. I am enjoying everything myself as I earned it all by myself! ;)
🤣🤣 sahi h yar!! Badhiya kiya..😃
@@tamannasingh5641 hii
Ah ...I wish I had such a beautiful life .
Shabash.....😂
I'm planning the same, don't want kids and wife, I'll just enjoy my life, travel, meet new people, try their culture, instead of being miserable with a boring sad life, investing all my money on kids.
I can relate this to my father's life. He dedicated large chunk of his life for taking care of parents and siblings, and later was thrown out by same peoole.
Poochna papaji se...a gaya swad
@@VikashSingh-vp6zl god had watched him. Dnt wry. God ll gve him 1k times more. Ache karmo ka fll jrur milta hai.. Chahe agle janam me shi.... Dnt wry
Sir In your 3 rd Happiness course I during query time asked u one question. It is very similar to my situation. I am very relieved from this guilt trip now. I face emotional blackmail of my parents with logic and my comments are more articulate. I will watch it atleast 10 times more.
Your effort is very visionary.. its benefits can be seen in long term when sukoon and stability comes in life. Relations remain entact by following ur advice. Your video why beta bahu should not live with in laws was legendary in my opinion. I am thankful I found u before I turn age 30. My pressure of doing good in sarkari naukari is also relieved. Ckakki peasing aaraam sai aur aanch ko kam kar do has given ultimate sukoon to me.
Your advice is doing more good in society than all other reforms, as you are addressing issues which no one is discussing but where actually the root cause of problems lie. Regards
I hope..one my husband will watch all his videos n read ur comment also😊
@@SHIVANEEZWORLDwahh yee choriyaan bahut tez h
@@PankajKumar-eu7oy 🤪🤪
My bad
It's Once my husband 😝
I am from IIT and in the industry for 7 years. I can vouch that it's all true. Thanks to my father, he maintained a register. I used to hate him for that in the beginning but later that turned out to be a saviour from lot of disputes.
@@maverick7323 true true. I know lot of people who earn a ton and have done simple graduation.
@@maverick7323 *some non-iitians are earning more than some iitians
@@shrishri8898 bhai iit ka bhokaal bus indian companies tak limited hai....get your fact updated
@@shrishri8898 bhai life ka koi hard and fast rule nahi hota aaj kal degree ki value nahi hai skills ki job hai.Mere sath ke pade hue bilkul low grade college se aaj 20 lakh ke package par hai
@@shrishri8898 nhi bhai bas branch C.S lelo
One thing i understood from this session is that never reveal your income , not even to your parents, if you're earning 30lakh pa tell them it's 20 and save the surplus.... As he said it all comes down to money, maintain a register for expenses of all sorts because only you are responsible for your future and happiness and no one else ....
especially not reveal to spouse, especially woman should take care of their finances, giving everything to husband landed my friend empty handed and divorced recently
@@bhadwamuhammad979 i love ur name lol 😜👌👍
I 100% agree on this. I've faced this in my life.
@@diauser3327 this is considered financial infidelity. The court can screw you real hard during the divorce.
@@aditya-ml6kmcan you name one thing the court will take side of male in case of marriage
whatever he said in the video is 100% true, one of my uncles is an aeronautical engineer he started earning at the age of 23 and got married at the age of 30 with my aunt, he has been earning for the last 7 years and had nothing in the name of savings, did not own a house, a car or any asset, his family especially his mother was milking his money and his other siblings were beneficiaries, his family told him that they do not have any money to spend on his wedding so he had to bear all the expenses, his family also took dowry but neither bride nor groom knows till date what happened to that cash. But after getting married to my aunt he was able to book a flat within 2 years of their marriage and they both were able to save enough money to go on 2-3 trips every year, they are now enjoying their life cuz my uncle could see what was right and what was wrong, very late but still understood. Boys never think that your parents can't take advantage of you.
Hi sir ..u logics are life changing material. Pls make a vedio where mother in law has done a job through out her whole life but now bahu she wants job less just to take care of child , her family n relatives. This is my real life issue ..now m having two kids but doing nothing. If I want to raise my life again on track then she again n again interferes my decision n tells my husband very humbly that my husband always belive his mother not me. Wahi ghisa pita excuse ki bache kon dekhega ..n she's very smart enough to cover her evil feelings for me.
If you desire to do job, work on getting it otherwise your life will be hell in regret and frustration
,Even can give you mental issues in future
My sister had same situation but she resisted second child,and now his son is 10 and she has joined the job,it helps her socialise,and be happy otherwise life as housewife can be frustratingly boring for many
@@sudhirchandra9790shakuni karwa de divorce Iska 😁
Uncle how can you be so right and to the point in all topics. I have seen my friend suffering as his wife who is also doctor and has no father, she is doing everything for her mother and siblings at the stake for her marriage. My friend doesn't ask her income but to start family as he is already 38 but she doesn't want to think of kids till she settles down her siblings and her family is emotionally controlling her.
Another patient of mine is working 15 hours after domestic violence in marriage and divorce. But even after working so hard for mother and brother they dont care.
So many times parents put emotions trap and the obedient kid suffers. Hopefully parents understand that kids are not their lottery.
This has blown my mind. Every sentence makes sence and is so practical. Yup in today's world, there are most of videos of about how to get successful.... How get to that last ladder of success but when people reach their, they have all knowledge about Professional stuff but never thought of what will happen to his social life when he gets along with it.
Same thing happened with my father who had started to earn at the age of 16 and made a house for the family . My other uncle's though haven't done much but they are taking equal shares in property and after doing so much he hasn't got anything other than criticism from all.
Bhai same mere dad ke saath hua hai my dad started and established gold silver jewellery business and he is gave many gold silver to my uncle and also gave to two elder brother of him and all three had never returned anything to my dad even uncle toh ghr ka kharcha bhi nhi uthate my dad had paid their kid's school fee upto 12th also and the properties my dad bought also my uncle's are demanding.. I'm seeing my dad's sacrifice for family and my both uncle are just enjoying life with my dad's Money
@@abhaysoni926 abhay same to same jaisa hai VAISE mere saath bhi ho raha hai 😢
@abhay @krish maf karna ek galti ho gyi thi. Vese can you elaborate, I can also give insta if you feel uncomfortable
Also, forgive for offense u both.
@millionaire bro then did you or your father tok cunsoltation or not? Exp and good Cunsoltants can change ur father life, do u know(sorry for that kind of english)
My husband is going through this I feel bad try not to fight but when I see injustice towards us from family I try to stop him 😢I love him and want him to be proud always .
Sir you helped a lot. You're consultation gives the most realistic image of Indian families and there Psychic.
This is the truth,
I have experienced the same. But whenever I have tried to convey/explain the same as a son, I was always be seen as mean by others including the parents. Thanks for sharing the video.
As a first time would be mom, I always think, what is the the right way. Kaha galti hui hai? Kisse hui hai aur mai kaise us galti ko apne bacche ke saath hone se rok sakti hun. How can we break this cycle? Maine ye video dekhn start hi is intention se kiya ki I will learn how to not let being good a curse on my son (if I have a son). Very helpful.
I absolutely agree. Bacche hume kucch owe nahi karte. Mai Aaj keh rahi hun. Aaj se 30 saal baad bhi kahungi. We bring them into this world, we spend on their studies or give them the best we can for our own selfish reasons. That selfish reason can be love for our blood or our own desire to look good parents in the eyes of the society.
Koi bhi insaan kahi door kisi anjaan ke naam pe paisa bhej de, use padha likha de, aur fir ummid kare ki maine kiya toh mujhe milna chahiye, toh shayad fair hai. Aur tab nahi mil raha toh aapne invest karne se pehle offer documents thik se padhe nahi. Bacchon ko apne budhaape ki laathi banana chhorna parega. Nahi toh woh bas kaath ke hi ho ke reh jaayenge. Ye chaahte ho apne jigar ke tukde se toh fir karo. Lage raho.
Well, this was extremely good explanation of a subtle but massive problem. Epic !
Learnings from this lesson: Good boy should be Strict, Logical and Fare.
Ek gyan yeh bhi De dein sabko ki package sabko batana obligation nahi hai. Initial bata bhi diya to aagei ke promotion etc par chup rehna seekhein. Parents or other relatives or friends don’t have to know ur package. Yeh india ki basic badatameez aadat hai to ask people’s packages. Yahan tak ki rah chalte driver, paanwale bhi pooch lete hain without a hitch . It’s an important confidential information. Please keep it to urself
Yes darling
Aurat ki umra or aadmi ki tanaqa kabhi ni puchna chayiye
True 👍 आपने बिल्कुल भी extreem नहीं बताया है, ऐसा लगा कि मेरे husband की ही story है, और बिल्कुल उन्होंने जॉब लगने के 10 साल तक शादी नहीं की,but शादी के बाद मेरे साथ हुए behaviour से एहसास हुआ कि घर वाले शादी नहीं करना चाहते थे, और हमारी शादी को 14 साल हो गए हैं husbsnd को आज भी एहसास नहीं है, उनके भाई बहनों की लाइन ही इतनी लंबी है कि खत्म ही नहीं होती
Same story😢😢
This is so true. I have faced this in my family. Your own family will drain out your money and your energy. Be strict with your money.
i agreed to your single word i am facing the same problem in my married life...i feel so so unsecured in my marriage....that make me feel very worried for my children's... .
Loved the topic sir ! Thouy i am not from a service class community, but can totally understand the complexity of this situation. As you always say - your topics are really interesting & true to life . They are preparing me for my future. Thank you so much.
I just love your straight forward talk... Keep it up sir 👍...yes it is true that no wife or mother fight for unemployed husband /son ...it is for the husband /son who is earning very well...even no husband and father fight for their wife/daughter because she is not earning.. Money play a bigger role in relationship.. It may be sounds Bitter but the harsh truth of relationship.....
Exactly it happens
My husband and I suffering from the same problem as you told sir well done to 🙏🙏🙏
I think we should set the limit for the monthly installment given to parents every month.....ki ye ek limit hai....me har month bas itne pese de skta hun.....jisse parents ko clear rahe...or vo utne he peson me apne kharche manage kr sake......pls share ur views on this🙏
Absolutely,this will help them also to plan the spendings properly
Financial discipline is very important
Aapne bhot achha analysis kiya hai....each hidden aspect of Indian society is well explored by you.
101 % truth through which i have gone as a wife . Same happened. Now end he is 80 i sm 76 . AB PACHHATAYE HOT KYA JAB CHIDIYA CHUG GAYI KHET . BAS NAYE BACHHO YE PERFECT ADVICE HAI PL SUNO . SEVA JARUR KARO LEKIN KHUDAKO AAUR APANI JINDAGI BARBAD KARAKE NAHI . BE PRACTICAL AND LIVE HAPPILY FOR EVER .
Sir you are the only one hope to the emotional health of youth. Indian youth is actually reparenting themselves in adulthood because of the traumatized childhood we had. Everything is not fault of our parents because they are product of their upbringing but it is actually good that today's youth is trying not to take that trauma to next generation by reparenting themselves.
Tbh my parents are very good. But I see such examples everywhere..in fact my own father is the example of this phenomenon. He was the topper, always successful one earning for us but my grandparents are closer to the sons who are living with them.
Thanks sir ji, each and every word is true.ur courageous sir. My son is studying iit patna, I understand what should not to do in future. Write book sir.
I recently started watching your UA-cam videos, they are practical, and the examples you give are real and practical. Keep doing the good work.
Pranaam guruji...aapke jaisa koi nahi hoga...etna gaharaise aapne bata diya har ghar ka kalesh ka karan.
What a wonderful guidance. This should be shown to all these good boys and their parents
Very practical and life changing videos sir, our society still needs to be educated not by degree but being practical which your telling
I am slightly over aged for his talks. I am 48. But I can't understand. He means that successful, highly earning & educated boys from middle income background should not marry non-working, meagerly earning girls. Lucidly he has given reasons for this. May be he is right in broader sense.
The title is just too accurate. I have never been a good boy and my father , mother family has been very happy with it.because things are very clear
You create so beautiful videos. You speak the truth & explain the realities of the Indian society
U r my favourite youtuber sir.. being a jaat I can understand what u are trying to highlight.. it's really painful being a bahoo and beta in jaat families.. u r such a blessing.. I know abhi kuch humara to hona Jana nahi hai .. but yes change to aaiga..
This same scenario happened to me. I somehow got out of this curse by accepting the society and shed my image of a good boy and lowered their expectations like hell. Now, I am at peace. Thanks for the video, Sir.
Bahut badhiya clarity session sir, thank you!
sir your videos are very insightful, you are only guru in my life so far,
dint have anyone to give me advice or life lessons ever in life, you are the first person to provide these lessons, thanks to what you are doing,
request to make a video guiding single persons in their life forward, we have no direction, no family for whom we need to earn, especially single woman have no security/support etc and life seems hell at times, but we want to find that one thing that keeeps going and gives motivation
Sir Each n every word of uor is bitter truth ....i faced the same situation ...had to left my job due to transferrable govt job of my good husband 🙄....same scenario in my inlaws family ...my brother in law is enjoying as he is Jobless ....n we r suffering till date .....Good boy suffered a lot ....my in laws also support him ...expectation r endless
Mushkil ye hai ki aise ache ladke apne ap ke khud hi dushman hote hai inko biwi samjhati hai ki apne paise sambhal ke do kisi ko to biwi hi inko dushman lagti hai villain lagti hai ki mere gharwalo ke liye aise bol rahi hai ,aur inke ma baap bhai behan in par hi sari responsibility dal dete hai ,inke apne bacho ke liye kuch bachta nahi ,jab kharab time ata hai inka tab koi inko nikal ke deta nahi
You are exactly expressing my opinion and words and feelings!!! Bravo for saying it out loud on a public platform!👏🏻👏🏻✅✅✅
Though may sound a bit harsh to the majority but spot on sir!! The sooner both sides realize and take a practical view of things life would be better. Keep going with this lesser discussed topics. Best wishes.
The problem is not being good. The problem is not being strong.
We have say no and communicate directly.
No need to mind about their feelings when others intention is to hurt your feelings.
No need to follow morality when they are immoral.
Yes this must be happening in NCR or any other part of India but my parents never ask for any financial or physical help till now to improve their living standards. Their age is more then 70 years and upto now they have very high moral & self respect. They are from Chamoli Uttarakhand 🙏 hope you understand my feelings. Otherwise video is very authentic and pathfinder but there must be some different aspects of any situation
In cities things are no good
You have the unique ability to make your deepest insight points with a sledgehammer yet making me split in laughter right through your discourse. Captain Shankar retd
Indians treat kids like a investment and cheap bonded labour. That's why we distribute sweets upon birth of boy as he will earn money later and serve as old age pension scheme, provider of life comforts.
Girls are seen as burden as she will move out after marriage and won't provide for parents. Infact with girls earning, nowadays parents are trying to encash daughters too and expecting them to provide comforts for them.
This is very wrong mindset. Kids are not supposed to be providers of parents. Children need to come out of this mindset as it's parents who produced them out of their will.
Parents shall learn to survive out of own resources and not use kids as a ROI generating machine.
Parents have a rights to demand from kids.
@@shyanimukherjee2043No they donot, did they ask children before giving them birth that they will be bonded labor.
True that bad or less achiever boys get more love and attention from parents as compared to kids who listen to parents...Good boys are sensitive to parents feeling and small ones give a sh,,et all the time to parents n still parents care more of small ones then good boy.....Good boy gets confused and someday he becomes bad boy too .......
Best solution is right from age 18 koi government college mein hi padhai karlo cheap mein and dissent a Lil bit from early age tab hi kuch hoga
nice video sir.... promoting more transparency in relations, and most importantly speak up everyone, keep your hearts out
Sirji,you understand the pulse of North India.
Hats off to this man..how he can be so right.. Thank you Sir for sharing this
Sir I am currently in the same situation as you described but one thing i would like to correct in your situation that girl who is marrying a person is insecure moneywise,that not correct in my opinion.Since i got married i have been watching that my husband is getting exploited not only by his parents but by his sister & brother also.But my husband thinks this is only his responsibilty to take care of everything and he is always very happy with this.
@@ygp47 She's Indian woman. Inka yahi rona rehta hai ki pati apne parents/siblings pe b pesa kharch krta hai.
Ma ke naam ki property ladki nhi le sakti, aur ladki apne naam ki hui property se nikal sakti hai sabko, so be careful. Not a sensible decision to take peoperty on girls name, buying property on girls name is not the gensture to show love
You are great sir..
I salute your experience and understanding
Amit Sangwan sir......practical n great social observer.
What a great prospective. Truth which is hard to speak. Thank you sir
Hats off sir for exposing one of the most important but undervalued discussion in today's society. Being good boy us really very tough but still one must understand the implication of too good even in later parts of the life.
Thank you Sir …. I have been on this guilt trip since my childhood
Your videos are very good
Sir u r gr8 gr8 gr8. What a explanation sir !!! I am sharing this video with my son he is just 16 years . Its worth to educate him early.
Truly said Sir. I am like this type. Being a good boy means to suffer somehow.😭
My husband is the good boy. I am also a doctor. My husband bought a land for hospital construction. My sasur ji insisted his name should be added as a owner. Ab aaga chalke shayad pati k bhai aur behen humse paise maangenge. This is very unfair. Bhai behen ka apne hi bhai ki kamai pe kaise haq ban sakta hai. And sasur ne hame jaan bujh k atka k rakha hai. Aur hamare naam pe karne bolenge to bahot bakheda kr denge. Loan leke husband ko padhaya tha usi ka gaana gaate rehte hai. Shaadi k liye bhi loan liya tha. Sab mere husband ne pay kiya. Mere ko to pata bhi nahi the k itna loan isko pay karna hai. Pata nahi aage kya hoga
Your husband should grow a pair of balls and buy land in only his and your name
Ya allah! Buy another land
behtreen video thi sir.
bot TASALL sy byth kr suna hy sb kuch.
Thank You so much for such GREAT Advices.♥
The bitter reality of this society....each and every single word is 100% true.
You are absolutely right …. Did everything to keep the parents happy, send them enough or more, but last they showed their nature… ….
Sirji excellent analysis and insightful speeches
Literally sir, you are great.. Itna dil dukha hai mera video dekh ke.. Bahot relatable hai..ma bap bahot use karte hai bachhe ko.. Mere husband ko dekh rahi hai.. Bura lagta hai
💯 as always 🙏🏻Thank you for sharing such eye opening information. I wish I had seen your videos 20 years back 😅
Seedhi baat...no bakwaas.....that's Amit Sangwan Sir!!
Sir you are bringing very genuine scenarios but the hard truth is many people will not even watch this and who will watch they will think that you are provoking against parents
Parents are becoming more selfish nowadays
Very well said sir....this is the hard reality. I m in corporate. Perfect example of what you said.
Sir, I have a huge respect for you😢 you just explained my situation. Trying to get out of this worst situation, hopefully I can do it soon😊
Great message, please continue the awesome work your doing sir
Before even watching this video am commenting this video is for me ..yes am going through good boy syndrome can't wait to watch it.
Thankyou Sir. Spot on analysis. 100% accurate.