Milton Jones' GREATEST One-Liners | Stand-Up Comedy Compilation | Mock The Week

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  • Опубліковано 9 лют 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 83

  • @kathleensoule2024
    @kathleensoule2024 2 місяці тому +53

    Milton is one of the funniest people on this earth. I have literally laughed so much I got stomach cramps. Thanks ♥️

    • @charanjitsidhu4733
      @charanjitsidhu4733 2 місяці тому

      @kathleensoule2024 • 💯 % Agree.

    • @pud2.trade6
      @pud2.trade6 Місяць тому

      He is on his new tour sans Mock the week. It is so funny, and his new material is equal to all his past shows.

  • @competitionglen
    @competitionglen 2 місяці тому +32

    Milton and his grandfather jokes never get ol. Brilliant 😊

  • @AlfUckhamHall
    @AlfUckhamHall 23 дні тому +4

    There is and can only ever be one Milton Jones, this man's humour as it's own post code.

  • @pseudonayme7717
    @pseudonayme7717 2 місяці тому +23

    Seeing Milton always makes me think that there's probably a lab somewhere missing its slightly eccentric professor of mathematics.😊

  • @obtuse1291
    @obtuse1291 2 місяці тому +7

    His supply of jokes is endless.. 😂

  • @MrPsyJak
    @MrPsyJak 2 місяці тому +20

    He may do one-liners for stand-up, he may not use current events, but he makes people laugh, including his fellow comedians. Also, anyone who can pull a good pratfall in this day & age has my respect.

  • @Master_Petes_Theater
    @Master_Petes_Theater 2 місяці тому +29

    "How's your lucky pencil case, NOW?" and "Welcome to the bakery!" are some of the best punchlines. 🤣🤣

  • @keithheydenrych
    @keithheydenrych Місяць тому +5

    His Beatrice joke is still the best Milton line ever.

  • @pixelfrenzy
    @pixelfrenzy 2 місяці тому +20

    I've seen almost all of these posted multiple times but they all still make me laugh out loud!

  • @aeloswindrunner
    @aeloswindrunner 2 місяці тому +7

    I love all his "thanks, that doesn't usually work" bits xD

  • @FoldedCloak
    @FoldedCloak Місяць тому +5

    He's so wholesome in his comedy. Really appreciate it, for when i don't feel like rude stuff.

  • @SigmaWolf-in2mr
    @SigmaWolf-in2mr 20 днів тому +1

    Outstanding.

  • @jeffl.9633
    @jeffl.9633 2 місяці тому +10

    "...and that's why everyone calls him Loopy. My botanist grandfather died trying to create a radioactive giant sequoia, turns out he'd misunderstood the meaning of 'nuclear power plant'. My other grandfather invented time travel, but only went back to the beginning of this joke..."

  • @HousecoatHero
    @HousecoatHero 2 місяці тому +13

    God i miss this show

  • @_PJW_
    @_PJW_ 2 місяці тому +11

    Milton is the weird uncle everybody loves, and all parents dread.

  • @MrZee48
    @MrZee48 2 місяці тому +6

    Brilliant

  • @James-mu7gg
    @James-mu7gg 26 днів тому +2

    😂😂😂😂this is one funny man great one liners just kept me laughing 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @tonycharlton4296
    @tonycharlton4296 Місяць тому +2

    Just this evening seen him live in Taunton, Somerset. Utterly silly jokes but I still laughed.

  • @JoelDavies-bi5mp
    @JoelDavies-bi5mp 2 місяці тому +4

    I like all of his colourful shirts.

  • @kathleensoule2024
    @kathleensoule2024 10 днів тому

    I would like to hear about the lighthouse keeper. OMG sooo funny ♥️

  • @WithTwoFlakes
    @WithTwoFlakes 2 місяці тому +5

    " It turns out they're all Somali... " I'd forgotten that one. Still funny. Shame it ended, but I'm sure it'll still be on Dave for years to come. Milton is one of a kind. Was lucky enough to see him at the Edinburgh Fringe earlier in 2024.

  • @malcolmjohnston7873
    @malcolmjohnston7873 2 місяці тому +6

    Go to one of his live shows………brilliant!

  • @archstanton6102
    @archstanton6102 2 місяці тому +24

    Beatrice

    • @NeungView
      @NeungView 2 місяці тому

      What's your IQ?

    • @AdrianColley
      @AdrianColley 2 місяці тому +7

      @NeungView you didn't understand the reference to one of Milton's better jokes which somehow wasn't in this compilation.

    • @archstanton6102
      @archstanton6102 2 місяці тому +2

      @@NeungView Probably a lot higher than yours, but what does my IQ have to do with this video?

  • @Glasshouse-k9k
    @Glasshouse-k9k День тому

    Extremely funny! As an American I did not get some lines though.

  • @motorbike650
    @motorbike650 24 дні тому

    Milton is his own unique show..the
    ' me, X , I can joke is brilliant..thanks Milton..by the way, how is your ' other ' grandfather?😅

  • @lich2560
    @lich2560 2 місяці тому +4

    He just makes yer blooming day ….

  • @Meckiffe1976
    @Meckiffe1976 11 днів тому +1

    Echoes of Steven Wright in the USA!

  • @kevinmitchell4026
    @kevinmitchell4026 5 днів тому

    There's a sitcom waiting there, Pirates on a Canal

  • @LazarouDave
    @LazarouDave 29 днів тому +1

    Kinda hoping for a compilation of every time he made a joke that ended with "thanks, that doesn't normally work"

  • @mikesmith2905
    @mikesmith2905 Місяць тому +1

    I do miss this show

  • @SpartacusSPQ
    @SpartacusSPQ 2 місяці тому +8

    You can’t beat Milton… Sorry, I meant Rice.

  • @luqeprisecaru8507
    @luqeprisecaru8507 2 місяці тому +2

    this segment looks reposted, but i can watch it 10 times more nevertheless. I don't mind.

  • @robertmcdonald8342
    @robertmcdonald8342 2 місяці тому +2

    All i can think of is wĥenva british person says "cheerio" when they they leave.

  • @cjward_24
    @cjward_24 2 місяці тому +1

    35:22 LOLLLLLLLLL

  • @OliverRW1994
    @OliverRW1994 2 місяці тому +2

    You missed out Abba's greatest hits 😂

  • @iamdb1990
    @iamdb1990 2 місяці тому +8

    "from nearly every episode he's featured in"
    why not just add the rest?

  • @SimonLiddo
    @SimonLiddo 2 місяці тому +5

    Brilliant comedian, shame about the endless forced ads on this video

  • @eilsmile8732
    @eilsmile8732 2 місяці тому +60

    He’s a Christian and so that’s why he doesn’t swear…… nice change with no F words etc

    • @malcolmjohnston7873
      @malcolmjohnston7873 2 місяці тому +10

      On this programme the rest of the comedians are laughing so much at Milton, I understand they had to cut around 15 minutes from each programme just so they could recover.

    • @lmtetreau
      @lmtetreau 2 місяці тому +12

      Im not sure you can say that's the reason he doesn't swear ... a lot of non Christians don't swear either. Plus, you don't know what he does in his personal life, just what he does on TV

    • @malcolmjohnston7873
      @malcolmjohnston7873 Місяць тому +7

      @@lmtetreau It is one of the reasons he does not swear, he may give others. I have also watched interviews with him over several decades, and no sign whatsoever of such. He also used to act with my favourite York based Christian Drama Group, so definitely a positive indication of such.

    • @zorot3876
      @zorot3876 Місяць тому +9

      And unlike a lot of foul mouthed 'comics' he is actually funny.

    • @johnvoit9629
      @johnvoit9629 23 дні тому

      I heard he was Muslim.

  • @LakeFX
    @LakeFX 2 місяці тому +4

    Can someone please explain the "Jean" joke at 1:34? I'm American, so I apologize about being dumb up front.

    • @Lyo_syrup
      @Lyo_syrup 2 місяці тому +42

      I think it's a joke about how in high-end nightclubs you're generally not allowed to go in if you're wearing jeans, so the punchline is expected to be 'we don't allow Jeans', but he subverts it by using trainers instead (another thing you're not supposed to wear to nice clubs). I could be wrong, but that's what I took from it :)

    • @pseudonayme7717
      @pseudonayme7717 2 місяці тому +3

      Miltons jokes don't work when they are explained 😄

    • @guysmith9264
      @guysmith9264 2 місяці тому +3

      Sorry (implying won't let her in with Jeans), then "wearing trainers", subverting expectations for a bonus laugh.

    • @waynebasford9957
      @waynebasford9957 Місяць тому +1

      You can’t were jeans in a night club

    • @thefivepoints
      @thefivepoints Місяць тому

      A lot of nighclubs in the UK don't let you in if you're wearing jeans.

  • @robbaskerville253
    @robbaskerville253 2 місяці тому +1

    Can someone please explain "My Uncle was a security guard at the O2 arena". Im not British and not familiar with this arena.

    • @gchecosse
      @gchecosse 2 місяці тому +2

      A reference to another joke in the episode

    • @robbaskerville253
      @robbaskerville253 2 місяці тому +1

      @gchecosse oh, ok then. Thanks.

    • @davie8906
      @davie8906 20 днів тому

      You're not bwitish? You mean you're not englistani. No need to roundy-uppy to ewe-kay cause calling englaza england in negland is considered wacist there. You don't have to do that.

  • @breadandcircus-o2y
    @breadandcircus-o2y Місяць тому

    Is this extemporaneous, or is it scripted? If the former, he's brilliant.

  • @mse326
    @mse326 2 місяці тому +1

    I've never understood the cheerios joke. What makes that more poignant?

    • @v1e1r1g1e1
      @v1e1r1g1e1 2 місяці тому +5

      Maybe ''ironic'' would have been better, but 'poignant' works, too. The joke is that the British have an alternative expression for ''goodbye'', which is ''Cheerio''. The play on words occurs as Cheerios are brand of breakfast cereal.

    • @garyjones8387
      @garyjones8387 2 місяці тому +3

      ‘Cheerio’ is a way to say bye

    • @jeremyhowell8235
      @jeremyhowell8235 2 місяці тому +1

      Cheerio means goodbye in British English

  • @almilhouse9059
    @almilhouse9059 2 місяці тому +4

    Such a pity this show ended, once it went down the wokery road i knew it was coming to an end.....
    Miss it though

    • @TheDanEdwards
      @TheDanEdwards 2 місяці тому +13

      "once it went down the wokery road "

    • @v1e1r1g1e1
      @v1e1r1g1e1 2 місяці тому +3

      @@TheDanEdwards Oh. You enjoy Wokery, then? You know, accusing someone of whining is very mean. It hurts their feelings. Maybe you need some counselling on developing your emotional intelligence? Perhaps we need to talk to HR?

    • @SpartacusSPQ
      @SpartacusSPQ 2 місяці тому +1

      Please define woke. Then realize it means supporting equal human rights to everyone. Then ask yourself what sort of people oppose that. Then ask why those people Lied to you and betrayed you, trying to turn defending human rights into a slur.

    • @Traitorman.25th
      @Traitorman.25th 2 місяці тому

      Oh. You want to stay on the right wing fake christian road.

    • @TheCynicalJedi
      @TheCynicalJedi 18 днів тому

      @@v1e1r1g1e1 You do realize how thin skinned and pathetic this comment sounds right? You got that upset because someone said someone else was whining?
      All the more ironic considering you lot love calling "woke" people snowflakes
      And no, before the inevitable response calling me part of the woke brigade, I'm not, remember when kids were taught sticks and stones break bones but words can do no harm?
      Yeah, both sides are as bad as each other and could learn a lot from that old phrase lmao

  • @StorytellerDan
    @StorytellerDan Місяць тому

    God, I miss this show 😅

  • @77nahnah
    @77nahnah 2 місяці тому +1

    He’s so unfunny so this should be a short video