Stop Waiting, Start Dating! w/ Cameron Fradd
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- Опубліковано 19 лют 2023
- 📺 Full Episode: • Dating, Marriage, and ...
Matt, Cameron, and Thrsdy call young men to ask young women out and not worry about marriage
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I'm a 20 year old. Watching this video convicted me, no less than an hour after seeing this I asked her on a date. Even if this doesn't work I feel like I've accomplished something because I haven't been on a date in 3 years.
How was it?
@@betrion7 Went out a couple of times and then lost interest. I'm still glad I was able to communicate both to express my interest in dating and later on to be honest that I lost interest.
@@joshc2501 congrats, yes - that's healthy.
20? You're so young. You've got more than a decade to find someone to marry, man. Good luck to you
@@kathyalex778 so if you dont find someone by the time you’re 30 you’re never getting married? Im 26 and a guy who’s never had a relationship despite being active and told I am attractive
I feel as if dating has become the new marriage, many people treat it that way.
My best friend had been engaged for _nine_ years, happens with a lot of atheists and "spiritual but not religious" types.
@JakeTheFakeReal Before I returned to Christianity I dated one girl for 5 years, after a while referring to one another as boyfriend and girlfriend just felt weird.
Yes. 100 years ago it would often go straight from friendship to engagement.
It is. Simply put, with the increase in cohabitation and sex out of wedlock, dating is the new marriage.
You can see this in how the word "cheating" has changed. Back in the day, cheating meant you were (doing stuff) with someone else AFTER you were married. Now it means you spoke to someone of the opposite sex.
Never thought I’d get the dating advice I needed from a Catholic Apologetics channel. That was legit. Thank you kindly.
@@OrthoLou I don’t mind. I used to be a Protestant, then I became an agnostic atheist, and now I am just an agnostic. A part of me believes in God, but a part of me disbelieves. At this point, I’d say that I’m looking for a way back to Christianity, but I’m tentative due to my fear of losing faith again.
@@OrthoLou Okay, thanks! I’ll check those out!
I still remember the time I got an unexpected call from a friend. After a brief greeting he said, "Would you like to go on a date?" -- no hedging, no ambiguity. I was so impressed. Forthrightness is an underrated - and very masculine - quality.
And what happened? Are you together? Lol
🎯💯
This is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you!!!!
I don’t know what it means to trust God in all this. This video actually discouraged me rather than encouraged me to be honest
I’m very jaded from two horrible relationships, and I can’t foresee when I’ll start to be a good candidate for marriage. Also, since I have wide social circles, I would be so embarrassed to be rejected by a woman and then her or her friends make it feel weird after. Asking someone out doesn’t just affect you and the other person, it changes the social dynamic of wherever you are
Then focus on healing and the Lord. It sounds like you should take a break from dating, but as followers we always need to be seeking out the Lord. Whatever comes from it, will follow
Thanks for making this video
Great advice especially as someone who is very marriage focused, it's important to slow down in your thinking. My mother told me you're not committed to anyone until you're committed and I think that's really true, it's nothing wrong with going out with someone even if you're not sure you're gonna marry them yet.
Great advice!
I wish a Catholic gentleman would ask me out on a date. I’m 29 and have only ever had success with online dating (meeting). Something about being asked out over a text just isn’t the same. I don’t think I’m that intimidating, but I must be doing something wrong 😂
I feel you on this! I’m 26 and I absolutely refuse to do online dating, but the men(Catholic or otherwise)in my city just don’t approach me. But I also think I give off strong “looking for marriage, not a casual fling.” signals so maybe it’s the Lord keeping trouble at bay😅.
@@ashleyhannahdavis1349 I will only date a girl/woman who gives the exact vibes that you mention. So atleast that's one thing you're doing right ;)
First you must ask yourself the question: could a Catholic gentleman find you? Cause I can tell you right now, the likelihood one attends your parish, shops at the same grocery store, and eats at the same restaurants alone as you are slim to none. No one told me this 10 years so I'm just making sure you don't wake up in your 40s like me wondering what went wrong!
Be careful with online dating my friend
@@ashleyhannahdavis1349 who can approach you? Please be as specific as possible.
Catholic Young Adult groups are filled to the brim with people that are discerning themselved to death. Standards are ridiculously high and it leads a lot of people into a pit of loneliness.
lol discerning themselves to death
I feel like it cut off too early! I want to hear the rant about CM!
Thrsdy is 10000000 percent right!! LOVE THAT!!! SO CORRECT!
That IQ comment was fire!
Lol
I’ve heard some Catholic UA-camrs say that dating isn’t the Catholic way and that “courting” is what we are supposed to do, I’m honestly a little confused, could someone help clarify the subject?
Edit: I don't know if anyone is going to see this all this time later, but I found an example of what I was talking about from Catholic speaker Ken Yasinski in his video "Dating Is NOT a Thing | Dating Apps, Courtship & Catholicism"
Courting... makes me think of a young man knocking at the door of the young woman he likes and asking her father if he can take her out!
Catholic UA-camrs say things. Courtship is for 18 year old 1950s homeschool kids.
@JMPStart. I think what they mean is that dating (a term which used to be courting in ye olden days, I think the two were interchangeable?) is just something one can do to get a “thrill”. In other words, there is no end goal to dating, there is no thought of marriage or a desire grow in Christ with boyfriend/girlfriend. Courting on the other hand is a well thought out process by both parties in the relationship. It has an end goal (marriage and Heaven!). So when Catholic UA-camrs say “don’t date, court instead”, they really mean date thoughtfully, don’t choose someone frivolously. They may just assume their viewers know that which is why they don’t clarify. If u ask me tho that’s a foolish move bc too many Catholics nowadays don’t know about the facets of their beliefs:/.
Anywho, our modern culture is the reason there now has to be a distinction between the two, which sucks but gotta take it as it is.
Pax Vobiscum:)
Lol "hangout"
There are men out there legitimately asking themselves whether or not to ask the girl out?! She’s a modern woman, she’s just going to say “no”, there’s no risk! Just ask
Accusation of sexual harassment, with potential jail time.
That is the risk of asking a girl out on a date.
Cynicism cope
But the problem arises that there is a cultural expectation that dating = sexual intimacy. I spent my youth on Catholic dating sites and soon learned that even guys who went to daily Mass, volunteered at Church, and did Eucharistic adoration expected that a woman who they were dating would be waking up with him in the morning
Holy crud if that doesn't make you deeply concerned about the state of our society than nothing will.
How strange.
This is insane.
That has to be in the states because in europe that is not true.
I'm so sorry you've experienced that. I assure you, that there are real young Catholic men who love God and are devoted to Him and do not expect such wicked nonsense.
What about if you’re a man over 30 who has basically been told you’re never gonna be good enough for a woman? That’s my situation which is why I don’t date. If you’re a man over 30, you’re never gonna find anyone that’s a fact.
Look, do not go on a "date" with a guy if you know you arent into him. The woman in the video led some poor guy on for a month going on "dates" when she knew the entire time it wasn't going to work out. Just let him be free.
Women do not know that right away. It takes women longer than men to decide.
@@Foxie770 women know of they like you almost instantly.
4:00 didn't they argue the opposite at the beginning of this clip ? "stop discerning" just go on a date with her
but he was nervous when asking me out "i'm not going out with you"
it's just one date you might lake him you never know
does he have a job, does he treat you well is he interested in you, is he healthy, does he seem like he is going to be a good father and husband and many other...
"was nervous when he asked you out" shouldn't even be on your priority list but it being first is crazy to me
it's not ok to discriminate except guys who are shy/nervous around girls
almost looked like she had irrational hatred for people who are like this and she was repulsive to me when i saw that
it's just a character trait and it's just him being himself should he try to pretend to be different but then isn't that lying in a way
why did they even make this into an issue i don't understand why is this so important to them some one explain that please
also another thing i disagree on the "date for fun" thing because the whole point of it is to find a spouse and if you had fun during the date that's just a bonus
and maybe it's different for other men but on my "fun things to do list" dating isn't on there it's a means to an end
like a job interview i have to convince the boss to hire me and if it didn't work it was a waste of time
because if i wanted to do something fun i would rather play some video games with friends.
Practice what you preach Mr Tuesday. Ask Brett out
Let's be real, men are getting the raw end of this deal and it's the leading cause of why they aren't asking women out as frequently or confidently. Couple that with fractured parishes that don't offer a lot in the way of young adults having an avenue to meet together and you've got a bad situation. Guys want to ask girls out, but constant rejection for stupid reasons and having to put in extra effort for something that will probably go unappreciated are reasons for them hesitating. Not saying that's good or to not push through that, but we have arrived at a point where a lot of good gutlys are going unmarried because women are picky, they aren't "chad"
This is a western problem not just an american one. Its very difficult to find a catholic spouse if youre over 35. Im 34 yo female and just got told by the priest at confession "to keep praying but accept that the Lord might have other plans". Basically im toast. I have a friend from the bizantine rite she was lucky to find a guy who is 8yrs younger than her...she just birthed a lovely baby girl at 39yo. But shes surely the exception.
@@etcwhatever Have thought of using Catholic dating apps? Or Christian dating apps like Upward?
@@user-mf9yl2pf3v yes i did. But there arent many people from my country or living here. And im not willing to move due to health reasons (the National Health System covers my medication). Thanks for the suggestion. I appreciate your concern.
Once I stop hearing of “catholic” men CHEATING ON THEIR WIVES maybe I’ll “stop discerning”.
What if there simply aren't any women that I'd be interested in? Although I do feel like having a family one day, I just don't have any desire to date, especially living in Southern California where the majority of young women aren't Catholic.
I also don't feel a calling to the priesthood or any other religious orders. What do I do?
Move out of southern California
I mean it depends. You say you're not interested in dating but are interested in raising a family. That sounds like saying "I'm interested in buying my groceries but not interested in driving to the grocery store" or "I'm interested in becoming a lawyer but not interested in taking the bar exam." Dating, or courtship of SOME kind, is a prerequisite to marriage, because y'all have to spend time together to make sure you actually like (not to mention love) each other.
So either you say "I'm staying single" or "I'm looking for a woman." And adjust your plans accordingly.
I live in an area where we Catholics are indeed minority, but there's still plenty of us. My internet tells me there's a lot of nominal Catholics in Southern California. The population of people in general is so gosh dang high over where you're at that there's got to be at least a handful of nice young Catholic ladies. You ought to be able to find a few.
Travel and gain new perspectives. Figure out why you have no drive to date. I'd also suggest making new friends and meeting new people. Sometimes we get stuck in social circles that don't inspire us and may even depress and drag us down.
I moved out of California for that reason. Head south young Man
Meet and connect with people, trust me there are good women in Southern California, I know a few
No thanks...modern dating is too transactional...am content being single and praying to my Lord.
lesssssssssssssssssss go
This video is completely wrong. The purpose of seeking a partner in catholicism is union through the sacarament of marriage. There are very few young men and women who are in a position to own a home and actually have enough income to raise children. There's literally no point to marriage at that age when you have nothing of substance to offer a partner. And most young men will be rejected if they even attempt to form a relationship by the current standards needed by women. In addition, many young men and women are unsatisfied with themsleves spiritually, emotionally, and physically, and will not be improved by failed attempts to form a relationship. It's better for young men and women to improve themselves spiritually, monetarily, and physically until they CAN support a family.
I love Neil/thursday
Wow she didn’t actually say that. And is married?
I'll date once I am financially stable and have my own house where I can bring my wife to. Not until then
It's not that serious
@@DavidMatias79 marriage and dating? I think it is very serious hahah
@@SwartzGunther you're conflating dating and marriage. Watch the video again.
@@DavidMatias79 Well, I don't think anyone would seriously date a guy who is living with his parents, so nope hah.
@@SwartzGunther actually, plenty of people would. It depends why
Putting the sacred Dating in Christ aside! I would Love if you could pull apart and pull out all that remains hidden of the relationship of Christ with Peter in Holy Scripture. Each interaction Peter had with The Christ and talk about it! I think we need to understand the hidden beauties of this so very so one- off unique relationship God had with one of His Creatures, even much more intimate than God was with Moses! Worth talking about to lead us deeper into this beautiful relationship ❤️ of weakness and Heavens intimate August power of God weaving His plan. The power of Saint Peter in today's Church and Times not yet tapped into! Could you Do this?
just don't date someone you wouldn't marry
Yeah I’m sure she is married. Pretty people deserve happiness right?
No. Most women who are single around my age(34) are single mothers. I don't want to ever be a stepdad to some guys kid.
I have a similar problem. That’s why I had to make the decision to date younger women.
It’s not “some guy’s kid.” It’s the woman’s kid. Your patriarchal conditioning is blinding you.
masculine energy from her
Beta
It she's not marriage material why date her!
What is marriage material? How will you ever know if someone's good at being in a relationship if you've never been in a relationship with them. If it turns out bad, theres this thing called breaking up where you stop associating with that person on a romantic level and boom, crisis marriage averted.
It's too late for me, cus I'm 33 going on 34 this year. I'm getting old as time goes on.
Everyone is getting older at exactly the same rate.
34 is not even remotely close to old. That's crazy talk.
It's only too late once you're dead.
Nonsense.
If you think 33 is old, just wait until you are 44 looking back regretting that you didn't try a decade ago. You should try.
Rubbish. Repent of your lack of Trust in God.
"God, may your holy will be done in my life."
Let me know when your ovaries start receiving their pension then come back to me, you're a man, you can marry whenever you want, don't worry, some men age like fine wine, others age like milk lol.
Don't rush, I know 33 year olds divorced with a child, the child then suffers. Both women and men. Do not allow pressure to lead you down a life of possible sin. Trust in God, be open to dating with intention to marry and if you don't want to marry but instead give your life to God and be single, St Paul approves.
Always enter marriage with God as the centre of your life, this means if you don't find that you could spend your life with someone because it will cause you to sin, do not go down that route.
We need to procreate to keep mankind going but everyone's pathway in life is different. Some Saints didn't marry. In Heaven no one is married.
Marriage is a sacrament that shouldn't be broken, it is a beautiful gift in which we can participate in the creation of God, especially when creating children. However, you have your special path, let the Holy Spirit guide you, have hope whether you end up single or married. Life will still be great if you're single and you can still honour God.
I'd say its vice versa. Chasity culture for women is devestating
That's a strong statement. Unpack that
I think misses Cameron is unfair to say that men who don't have the courage to say the word date look weak.
Many of the young Generation of Men have no experience with females and dating.
So if I ask a girl out for a dinner and she rejects me for not saying date, then shes just full of it. Maybe she should out for some "chad" like andrew tate lol.
I guess I understand where the women are coming from, wanting to see confidence in the guy, but it’s also super annoying to be judged on the details when the video is trying to encourage men to just ask girls out
Yea but the problem is that she doesn't understand the young generation of men. It's not that we don't have the courage to ask someone out. It's that there is no point in asking someone out, because we get 0 positive feedback from women and every effort seems to be met with rejection.
@@5000okok yeah for real. I think that most christian leaders don’t understand young men right now
Terrible advice. Short-term relationships are better for people who have no chance for a long term relationship, like me. If I didn't ever pay for prostitutes at 23, I'd still be a virgin. Some people will never have any chance for relationships because they're so undesirable and inept at social interaction, and sex workers become necessary, trying to hold to this ideal will only leave you lonely and abandoned. I tried chasing God, having faith, receiving the sacraments, and going to mass constantly. But ultimately, I only ended up more alone. It's better to enjoy the time you have rather than endure and be alone.