How to Find Your Soulmate (As a Catholic)
Вставка
- Опубліковано 10 лис 2021
- But first, is there really such a thing as "a soulmate"? In this video, Elizabeth Busby offers a Catholic perspective on the idea of soulmates and finding "the one." She explains Catholic teaching on freewill as it relates to finding your future spouse and offers practical tips for discerning marriage.
---------------------
Click the link to join our Patron Community! Your monthly gift helps us continue to put out the message of Theology of the Body to the world. Thank you! tobpatron.com
Want to attend a course at the Theology of the Body Institute online or in person? Click the link to view our schedule: tobinstitute.org/programs/tob...
Check out our store! tobinstitute.shop
I always wanted to be a wife and a mother, and i really believe that a woman is beautifully design this way to be. Im 33 this year and I am waiting on God hands for me to be in this area. I always wants to be pursued.. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I’m praying for you girl! I pray that the lord sends someone deserving of you who is both honest and willing to ask for help🙏🏻
"The unmarried women and virgins are concerned about the things of God, and how they may please the Lord. The married woman is concerned about the things of the world, and how she can please her husband. And so her interests are divided."
@@hamilton9651 neither were a gift..
peace be with you..🙏🏻
@@chinitapink8074 As for me I want to refrain from both marriage and sexual intimacy! I am celibate now for life in order to serve our Lord Jesus Christ without distraction! While marriage is a blessing to most people it is not for me!
10 mo later. Have you found anyone yet? Anyone from church events, etc?
this is excellent advice. adopt the traits you want in your dream spouse, and in the process attract like-minded people. in other words, grow and develop as a person with your eyes on God and He will put the right people in your path
You believe in the law of attraction? Heritic. 👉🏻
I don’t know….I’d like my dream spouse to have nice long hair and great legs and have child bearing hips. I don’t think I could develop those traits very well 😑
I’ve fallen in love with a couple girls who didn’t love me, and I’ve had a couple girls fall in love with me that I didn’t love. I think too many people believe that you should only ever love one person. Life is messy, but the Lord is merciful.
Reading this I thought of C.S. Lewis's the four loves. I think you'd like it.
@@ReverendDr.Thomas Where does the text come from? Are you even Catholic? If not, why are you here giving advise to Catholics?
The thought that God doesn’t have a plan for who I am going to marry or a “soulmate” actually gives me less peace. Because I wouldn’t be worried about finding this person, I would know that God would have us meet. I am worried that whoever I am with, there would be someone out there better. But if God does have a plan for my life and a person that he wants me to marry, then I don’t have to have anxiety about being with the best because I know that we have been made for each other.
Yeah... This message isn't for everyone. Some marriages are very specific. Imagine the Lord not having a direct hand in choosing St. Joseph for our Lady. Or Rachel for Jacob, or Boaz for Ruth.
There are specific couples that are pre-planned for sure. They are set apart for specific work. It seems silly in this conversation about soulmates to not simultaneously acknowledge the way God orchestrates time and space very specifically for His purposes. With precision.
The wisdom in the video will only apply to some. Maybe the majority, but there are most certainly exceptions.
Love is also a daily choice with the one you "choose" to marry
totally agree! I think videos like these are giving advice for couples entering into null unions. Why? Because the thought that there might be another person who can fulfill the role God has designed to be an indissoluble union than that thought literally gives anxiety because it provides doubt rather than trust in God. She, Elizabeth, raises a straw man on nothing scriptural, and then gives the advice that will in fact create anxiety rather than peace. God unites, not man. Thus, our faculties ought to be prepared to notice what God is doing with regard to matrimony. If God is infallible, and God is the one who unites, that means there should nothing but peace when you meet the one.
After listening to your podcast for many months, it is a joy for me to see your joyful face in motion. You are such a gift. Thank you for all you do Elizabeth!
Very good advise. Never been married stopped dating when I turned 30. Am now reforming my worship and relationship with God, which while I was baptized at 21, never formed a true bond and became pagan/Wiccan a few years later. I came back to God last year. Right now, not sure if that is God will for me, but still learning
If you’re not in religious life or something like that, you should get your butt back into the dating world. Singleness in itself is not good or healthy
Appreciate this advice. Gives me hope and I can better myself meanwhile. Praying for all of those singles struggling in this season ❤
Thank you Elizabeth. Always love your video about love, marriage and dating. It's really helpful.
That is extraordinarily good and helpful, and practical. Thank you so much! ♥️
WOW! Where was this type of counsel in the late 80's? My Catholic course said 'What you see is what you get' Really helpful LOL
Suffering today big time! I would like to add to your story that IT is Absolutely essential to be prepared for marriage. I finally read three books last year about marriage and figured it out! I have hope now for my four children should they decide marriage is for them And yes it is a huge commitment. Looking forward to your next video. And yes, I have been for lots of counseling. Good advice.
I highly recommend watching Fr. Mike Schmitz videos about “soulmates exist?” Or the one, I can’t remember the name sorry, and then Jackie and Bobby, (both videos are with ascension presents) that also talk about similar thinsg
So true, my dad lacks both of those qualities you mentioned. Makes sense why my parents had a terrible marriage and are now divorced
Loved listening to this!
Beautiful insight shared.
Excellent perspective. Thanks for sharing. 🤗
Elizabeth, you're very interesting to listen to!
I'm 22, have never been in a relationship before, and these kind of things keep showing up
Thank you for your specific answers to some hard questions. 🌸
You're so welcome!
Thanks so much for this video!! It gave me a new perspective
Glad it was helpful!
My mother was a good friend of a minister's wife. She set me up on a blind date with a member of her congregation who was thinking about going to law school. While she didn't go to law school, we've been happily married for 25 years.
Haha nice ! Congrats! :)
Excellent work
I am 49 and still single!! 😂😂 this wasn’t a choice, I’ve always wanted to be a wife and a mother … I’ve got a lot going for me but haven’t found a husband.
😥I hope you eventually find someone soon.. I haven't lived that long yet and I'm still young.. but I really understand the loneliness, it just gets harder and harder to have faith that you will finally succeed in finding someone special, having a mental illness just makes it 10x worse also.. but only thing we can do is just keep telling ourselves to have faith.
@@dcruz3373I feel that if you have a mental illness you need a certain kind of person for you. I have mental illness as well. I need someone who is calming and who brings me peace and joy. Sometimes it's better not to be in a relationship if a person triggers your mental health in a bad way.
Believe it or not, there are men who are in the same situation as you are, and we also suffer to find the right person.
Am I the only Catholic girl longing to be loved and have my own family
Nope
You make the most sense.
However, all marriages requires hard work.
good advice
I've learned that the #1 thing to finding a Catholic mate is to be attractive.... #2... be Catholic......... I've noticed that even in the Trad Latin mass, people are still fallen and still want someone good looking. The unattractive don't get dates. I've noticed. It used to hurt but now I just accept it. It's a huge cross being married and especially with kids.
I’m 18 and am hoping to meet a nice catholic girl who I can have a family with, thanks anyway
Praying for your future bride!
This is a really great video, thank you. I feel I am God oriented and I don’t feel like I put relationships on a pedestal any more or idolize them. However I never really thought about looking for those two qualities. I feel I could do better in the honesty department.
We're so glad it blessed you! Please pray for us.
so true about having the Holy Spirit in you before dating. There is something about having the fathers love with you that can't be compared to any love of a spouse or partner (of course) but its also a window into yourself that God provides you with...he shows you how to loved by how much he loves you/us..which in turn makes it easier to distinguish if someone else is worthy for US....and how we should also treat them :D
I do believe in soulmates. It is in scripture. Read Tobias
Thank you.
You're welcome!
I think a lot of young Christians and Catholics idolize marriage and I find it annoying. It is scary thinking I could still be single at age 49. There is no opportunity for biological children and women are to be considered less attractive and desirable as they age. People can be judgmental and suspicious of people who are still single in later adulthood. People make marriage seem magical. It is hard for me to pray to God about the type of spouse I want because, to be honest, I am pretty shallow. Sometimes I feel like since I am saving myself for marriage that I should marry the first guy who is interested in me. People keep saying "do not care about looks" but it can be hard. I do not want to settle just because I am getting older.
Marriage and procreation is important and it's how God's created us. Marriage and having children teaches people important lessons about love, compromise and sacrifices. Even Erikson's theory mentioned about this in stage 7 of developmental psychology as the generativity versus stagnation and self-absorption (middle adulthood). I understand that marriage might not be for you personally. Though you might have a point about how the world views marriage, this is why the teachings of the theology of the body are very valid and important so that Christians get the right understanding.
It's true. If you aren't attractive, it'll be harder or not possible for anyone to be interested in dating you. That's just our fallen nature and natural selection. But I remind myself that marriage and parenthood is a huge cross. You are responsible for other souls. If I'm in my 50's, I'll just say "forget it".... most of Saints that we know of were not married.
@@catholicfemininity2126 How do you stay positive? Everywhere and within myself I see sin. The church's teaching on sexuality seems so old fashioned.
@@catholicfemininity2126 Gosh that’s a strange answer! …. I am 49 and look a lot younger than my age … still fit and pretty and have a good heart. There are many reasons that contributed to my still being single at this age that I won’t go into now. But I am certainly not going to give up on marriage when I turn 50! I may not have my own biological children but can still adopt or not have children. I just think it’s irresponsible to tell some one to “forget it” just because they reached a certain age without knowing anything about them and about their circumstance. I can still get married at 50, the trouble at this age is finding a single man especially when your social circle is limited and you have only a handful of men at work (who are either married or gay!)
God I see a lot of confusion in this thread. I would like to tell you gals how to let go of those prejudice towards us and to attract a good man, but I'm too young for that (24) and maybe I'm confused and have my own prejudice too.
What I know for sure is that the pride and the prejudice of modern world has permeated through even the most pure souls, which is really sad.
I agree with you that you don't necessarily have a single soul mate. Women do confide in me, but it's taking a long time in order to get my preferred soul mate and possible girlfriend. Between myself and this Catholic woman that I like, there's a lot of observation, but no direct communication. There's that line from a Supreme's song. "You can't hurry love ". That's my personal observation. I love your advice about relationships. I feel empowered as a celibate towards the woman of my choice. Thanks again. Valerio
Thank you for sharing!
I want to have Christian friends as well…
It gives me more anxiety thinking that I have to search for my soul mate amongst lots of people. I think that God is a specific God and He will bring me together with my hubby to be. God loves each of us more than we can possibly imagine and just as He wants me to do a specific apostolic work for Him (with the gifts that He has given me)- He has someone specific lined up for me too. As I keep my eyes on Him He will surely lead us to each other. This person will not be perfect. Whoever dies first- the other is free for God to do another miracle any time He wants. Discernment is key for knowing not only my vocation but with whom or which order etc I should be living out my vocation. Ruth and Boaz. Isaac and Rebecca. Our Lady and St. Joseph. Specific. God bless us all.
Where does it say in scripture or in catechism that God has a specific person for you?
Hilarious I literally just replied to someone's comment about this and used the same couples as an example 😂! High five! I totally agree. There are 100% couples that are designed by God and brought together to through meticulous and precise actions on the part of the Lord and his messengers.
@@chrisobrien6254 Maybe not for every person out there, but the examples given in this comment show exactly in scripture where this idea comes from. It's implied in the stories. Stories to tell you their lessons explicitly. And the bible isn't just made of epistles or wisdom literature. The big epic tales teach just as much but slightly more indirectly.
@@linden_e If that is in fact the case it is the exception and not the rule. The people in the Bible had extraordinary missions
Wish more Catholic women had this perspective. Was on the cusp of getting engaged to a woman for a year and a half. The whole time she was 98% sure I was the one but she couldn't be 100% sure because she refused to choose me. That isn't how love works you are not 100% sure you have to choose. She let her doubt destroy anything remotely close to love in her heart. There were other issues but this was one of the big ones and helped cause many of the other ones... I am glad I didn't mary her because despite her telling me 15 - 20 times a day that she loved me she had nothing resembling love for me because she refused to use her free will and choose. This is a real issue amoung Catholic women right now. You won't have someone who is 100% perfect or even 100% perfect for you if you think that means that there are not still issues. Often time it is the difficult aspects of marriage that actually help make us holy.
IT sucks, Catholics struggle with finding someone so bad that they are willing to settle, and that'll just cause more problems. You must pray about it and be 100% okay with marrying someone, if you even have a little bit of doubt, something is wrong.
I met someone at Church and I really thought we had a connection. But she is a narcissist and has a lot of inner turmoil. Despite going to Church every week and praying every day, God's message isn't getting through. She has not set herself apart from the world. It's very sad to realize this after 2 years of pursuing her. Apparently some women don't think going to Church means anything more than how we spend an hour a week. It's a hobby.
Respectfully calling this Nonsense. Singleness is a cross just like your spouse can be a cross - however the singleness is not a vocation - its a transitory state - hopefully that won't last long and you can wither settle in marriage or a consecrated life. If your desire is to have a family and the singleness is Unexpectedly long, the cross gets heavier- not idolized marriage but dealing with a sick heart where hopes are deferred. It's not fun.
Singleness can be a vocation. I'm pretty sure many saints were single and not nuns or priests.
@@beckydiaz4225 that's called a vocation to Celibacy. Singleness is a state in life, to define unattachment. Celibacy is a calling to be attached only to one - God.
I think singleness is a vocation for those with h0m0sexual desires, they're called to a consecrated single life since religious life is a temptation and obviously marriage is not an option........... and for those that are called to or prefer the single life, it is a vocation...... but for those poor souls that want marriage and can't find anyone, I think they're called to be single in the moment but it might not be their vocation. Who knows...
@@catholicfemininity2126 that's called celibacy ans consecrated life. That's not rhe same as singleness waiting for a spouse.
As per "the beginning" , what does "Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh", mean? If that is not soulmate language I don't know what is. Furthermore, in accordance with catholic cannon law, marriage is indissoluble. Hence, "What God has united, no man can separate". (Mathew 19:6) It is also clear in genesis that Adam isn't looking for his eve but rather it is God who does the entire job of finding Adam his bride. If there is no soulmate, then what is a soul? If there are more than one potential brides, come come God doesn't make that explicit in the Genesis story by giving Adam more than one bride? I mean, God didn't take three ribs create and three different eves for Adam. There is just the one.
Simple question: is Elizabeth married? If yes, is she 100% sure that her union has God as its cause and thus is indissoluble?
Ask for help. Got it
I'm 43 and single. Of course I'm feeling panicky! You call it idolatry? Whatever.
I’m 49 and still single. According to her I should go bury my head in the sand in shame or maybe just kill my self or something!! 😂😂😂 I am actually fine, living life in the best way I can and still hope to get married but it’s not an awful state to be in and there are many people my age still single here in the U.K.
But they do exist its a soul that loves electronic music and she does too, and out concidence yall both dress the same, and if one or the are believer or become believer they are more soulmates.
I want you to be honest
Yes i am realising i have an unhealthy attachment to women and relationships 😔
I'm praying so hard she is single 😭 Please pray for me. She is awfully pretty 😅
The thing I hear from married couples all the time is "I'm not happy". It's not always going to be God's will for you to be "happy" every day of your life. Every vocation requires sacrifice.
How to find my soul mate? I tell any woman I know that I don't date. I also tell them I am celibate. I also tell them I like living by myself. I also tell them that I don't want to be married!
Yeah, this wasn't thought out as well as it could be. It feels very woke ironically. The stories of the bible do not reflect this idea at all. Modern materialism does, and pop psychology - but the mystics know this is advice is narrow, a bit shallow, and one dimensional.
You certainly can't apply this teaching to St. Joseph and Our Lady, or Ruth and Boaz, or David and Bathsheba, or Rachel and Jacob, or Abraham and Sarah... I could go on. Just because something isn't written in the epistles or proverbs explicitly, doesn't mean it's not symbolized in the biblical epic narratives.
We need to rekindle the fire or romance in the Church...Disney tapped into a comic truth. They didn't sell us snake oil. We all bought it because embedded in our DNA.
The hero's journey for men in the King David/Aragorn/Luke Skywalker story. For women, it's Beauty and the Beast or rather the OG... Beatrice and Dante.
To deny this is to reject the way God has ordered the Cosmos. If you think you might have a specific person out there, you probably do. Trust God to orchestrate that. If they don't choose you back, God will still accomplish His purposes using someone else in the same vein.
I sorta disagree with a lot of the points. If you don't have a soul mate then why marry anyone. If you marry someone they are your soulmate end of story. I think also if someone can't imagine being 49 and single, really they must have a strong desire for marriage. Where would that desire come from? God gave us vocations. It's not "idolatry" to desire one. It's totally normal and natural.
Actually I find the way in which she made it sound that being 49 and still single to be this awful weird thing rather offensive. Wish I could find a genuinely helpful Catholic UA-cam channel.
I live in the Bay Area 50 miles north of San Francisco and my choices of women range from Non-Catholics to Non-Religious… There’s a shortage of young Catholic women who are serious about there faith here. Most of the women I’ve dated have had more sexual partners than the roster of an NFL football team and the other women are just not Catholic.
In God’s providence there by nature must be “the one” not to say there is one singular for the rest of your life (in the case of divorce/death) but to say reality is testament of God’s ordinance. Why did you marry this person instead of the other? Why did it work now when it didnt work then? Are these factors by your control? No.
We would waste less of our time on this world if we focus on seeking excelence, holiness, God himself, instead of 1950's artificial ideals of happiness.
The earlier we get rid of these foolish fantasies, the better.
I respectfully disagree with you! God knows who your soulmate is…for sure, with few exceptions in widowhood & remarriage. God has a perfect plan for us! Our freedom relies in choosing the person that God wants for us (if our vocation is marriage), rather than the one that fits our requirements. It may not be the perfect person, but it will be a sanctifying union that will take us to heaven. There are many lives of saints that back this view! God bless you! 🙏🏼
I was married for 33 years and now separated.four years..I am battling with having any relationship as still married in the eyes of the church...It is very lonely ...
@@teres469 go deeper in your relationship with Jesus and I assure you will not feel lonely. On the contrary! Jesus fills our hearts with the purest love you’ve ever imagined!!!…Try him and He is Love & will never disappoint you!
Keep praying for your husband. 🙏🏼
@@edalvarez4723 There isn’t just one person that each human will be happy with though. We have free will. That’s the point!
@@LadyK007
A question: do you think God would of wanted St Mary to be married with other than St Joseph? (Yes/No) Why?
Sacred family is our model of marriage/family & we should reflect on what their example means for our lives, don’t you think? Blessings 🙏🏼
I agree with you!
I don’t think that being scared of being single at age 49 means that you made an idol out of marriage; that’s actually a good fear to have. Unless someone is a religious priest or something, being single at age 49 is not a good thing. .I’m scared of being unemployed but that doesn’t mean I idolize my job.
God bless you sister but I do not agree with you. If God doesn’t have the one for us than that means we’re all just random; that means that my dad could’ve married someone else and me and my siblings wouldn’t even exist. If God knew about our existence at the moment he said, “let there be light”,to me that makes me feel special. I don’t want to think that man I’m glad my dad met my mom because otherwise I wouldn’t be here that’s not how it works. God had plans for me since the beginning of time!! In order for me to exist my dad would have to marry my mom.
Yes, but your dad had FREE WILL to choose your mom, and your mom had free will to say yes!
You're missing the fact that we all have free will. Just as God will never force us to love him. He will never force your parents to love one another. It was their own free choice, which makes it even more beautiful!
You lady spent half the video debunking the concept of a soulmate, which I think is just a matter of semantics.
YOUR SOULMATE IS THE PERSON YOU MARRY. Denying the concept exists is denying marriage.
Ok I appreciate joy and all, but it’s always unsettling when grown women act like little girls- interesting message, the messenger’s demeanour makes it seem much sillier than it is
I’d say being afraid to be still be single at age 49 is a good thing. What normal person would want that? 😒That doesn’t mean you idolize it; it just means you desire it, as you should
I am 49 and still single (not by choice). Perfectly “normal”, smart and very attractive. Try to think about your words before you comment.
@@aabc8141 Then why do you think you’re still single if you’re all those things? There’s gotta be a practical and traceable reason.
Just marry me.
If you’re scared of being single at age 49, that means you’ve made an idol out of marriage?? 😑🤣You lose me there. If I’m scared that my daughter is going to die by getting hit by a car does that mean my daughter is my idol?? If I’m scared to lose my job does that mean I idolize my job? If I’m scared to get evicted does that mean I idolize my house?
She’s too hype. Relax.
المرأة لا تخطب الرجل . الرجل هو من يتقدم لخطبة المرأة . المرأة عليها فقط الرفض او القبول . في أكثر الحالات تنخدع المرأة بالمظهر والمال
This actually makes me happy. There is a man that I've known for a long time. When we were young he came over to build a ramp for my grandfathers wheelchair. My mother quietly pulled me aside and said "That boy is in love with you. The way he watches you when you're not looking. Everything you do puts stars in his eyes." We have stayed friends for many years and he's always been there for me and my children. We even stayed friends while I was married. Yes, I am divorced. This was before I found catholicism. He was always respectful of my marriage and never did absolutely anything to contradict that. After my divorce he went down a very dark path. He fell into addiction and he even called me one night when he felt suicidal. I was there for him during that time as well. I always offered him love encouragement and acceptance. Then, there was radio silence. I hadn't heard from him for over a year. He recently contacted me though and it turns out he's sober, has been in therapy, and has started going to church again. He also made it clear that he's interested in me but wants to start out hanging out as friends again first. I said yes. Of course I've been struggling with if it would be a good idea to begin actually dating if and when I'm asked. The two qualities you mentioned are things he has in spades though. He is very honest, almost to a fault. He's also very able to ask for help when he needs it and always offers help to others. My resistance to the idea came from a lot of factors. However, your video makes me think it couldn't hurt to see where it goes and give it a chance.
If you read the Bible we are not suppose to get married again if our husband isn't dead yet. Holy matrimony forms a spiritual bond which is broken only if one of them dies. So don't date anyone.
@@michelleraginimukhia9026I think she said she was married BEFORE she found out about Jesus Christ. That means it wasn't an actual marriage (just civil). I think she can stay celibate until she actually gets married. But we definitely have to stay celibate.