*I never participated in causal relationships and hookup culture.* I’m 6’4, handsome according to most women. I was a star basketball player on my HS and College bball team (D2). I had my reasons for avoiding hookup culture but it’s crazy how you get scrutinized by your peers, both women and men for wanting a serious relationship; and waiting for it. My wife is the only person I’ve been with and being married means nothing to some women. I work in the corporate world and women will ask me about my wife and children and still make multiple passes of wanting me to sleep with them.
It’s not just hockup culture, but it’s also a dating culture. Simple truth is that we shouldn’t date. We should courtship. Difference is that dating is just messing around to figure it out while courtship is people making long term choices to start families.
Intimacy traditionally was a sacrament to marriage and in reality is making a biological statement about the person your giving yourself to. “I’m willing to mix and carry on my bloodline with you” that’s what intimacy is inherently. People have totally glossed over that reality for the sake of impulse and convenience
We all feel the reality and weight of that biological statement. That’s why body count bothers people. The person you’re with has made that biological statement with multiple people, even if they didn’t mean it. It’s inherently devaluing, maybe embarrassing, and implies they don’t take themselves seriously to have made such a serious statement with people they weren’t taking seriously.
@@TheBlazingEagleHigh body counts for women have much worse implications. The loss of the ability to pair bond, fracturing of the psyche, low self esteem, conditioning compulsion, micro chimerism and telegony and the list goes on.
If you aren’t interested in having children, assumptions about carrying on bloodlines would be wrong. Willingness to be intimate can be totally decoupled from reproduction and bloodline bullshit. The advent of birth control moved that decoupling from theoretical to actual. We are human beings first and gendered human beings second. Practicalities of biology, not biology itself dictate culture. Change the practical situation and you can at least theoretically, change the culture. What impedes change is not biological reality, but the vast amounts of art, literature, religious practice , etc. that ingrain older practices and that is nearly impossible to avoid exposure to.
@@focm888that’s nonsense. “Till death do us part” is also why abusers feel emboldened, victims refuse to leave, and people who may not be a good fit for each other persist a relationship that’s potentially bad for both parties. People waste their entire lives, some even actually die, trying to stubbornly commit to the idea that got them killed. There are plenty of negatives.
There's an important gendered difference here, which is that any woman can choose to engage in hookup culture, but most men cannot, even if they have the desire. There's only a very small cohort of men with the capacity to sleep around (
"There's an important gendered difference here, which is that any woman can choose to engage in hookup culture, but most men cannot, even if they have the desire. " What a stupid lie! Men are the ones more attracted by the visual. That's why you see old men with women young enough to be their granddaughters, but you rarely see things the other way around! PRETTY women can "choose to engage in hookup culture!"
Jordan and his daughter discussed that most normal average women actually dont feel good after hooking up because there is no emotional connection, its obvious...so they dont continue with such habit because they crave the connection or also the expert Sarah Hill also confiurmed from psychological point women regeret much more often sleeping with random guy. In comments there are often comments from women saying that they gave sex to a man, thinking he will be her boyfriend, but usually these guys dont wanmt commitment, if she gave him sex early....Because psychologically it doesnt work that way and coaches say the same. They say dont give the man sex early....because even the best men, are not motivated to build a relationship if you give him sex early. Its probably a psychological and hormonal thing...They say it is like when some website gives you movies for free, and after 3 months they wannt you to pay 15 dollars a month. Most people refuse because they watched it for fvree before......The same way good men refuse commitment, because she hoped that after giving him sex he will be motivated to build a relationhip.... coaches explkain because women fall in love early on during first sex....men fall in love much later because men have different hormones , so he falls in love after month or so after building the true intimacy and emotional connection. so she is supposed to give him the sex after few weeks. It seems those women who do hook up are brainwashed by the culture, and some suggest they dont do it for pleasure but money or also lack of role models in their family. other wise they wouldnt...then they realise the money isnt ok anyway.
I am a woman who was, not hated, but regretted by my mother, (my siblings were/are treated as blessings) I have one adult child and miscarried four other children. I can not and will never understand parents who regret their children. It is unforgivable and grotesque to me.
It's hard to say that regret is a chosen feeling. If they have no control over their honest reflection of the situation, how can it be unforgivable? I very much doubt many parents want to regret their children.
@@auburn.JoaoDuarte It might be about how unstable we become under the effects of oxytocin. There's a way our own biology dooms us to failure in most relationships, the feelings appear too early and the first phase (knowing each other) happens in a context of hormonal love, which makes our judgement a lot less accurate and tends to accelerate the process, process which in my opinion should last longer. Our biology is wired for bonding and reproduction, and it can overlook the nuance our minds have evolved, making this cycle likely to derive in an unsolvable incompatibility
I an ALL for family matching marriages. Myself I was extremely family oriented and wanted to be a mom and got married. And we has 4 children. The longer in marriage the more he wanted to be stepping out. Always flirting always sneaky. I was soooo overwhelmed and hated myself for being cheated on always yet was caring for our babies. Eventually we divorced and today I understand I didn't know how to vet a proper man. I really needed help. I was pure with good intentions and he turned me into sharp and distanced person. I still care for my teens nowadays and wonder how my kids will make families. I so much wish they chose wisely and the person they chose will not change overtime....bc that also happens. I know men sometimes have it difficult but in my case I was the one at home and overwhelmed also had to always work to support finances and he was the one into casual relations meantime. It was heartbreaking. It is much easier to be alone than be cheated on. Whoever cheat they cheat on the spouse but also they cheat on the children too. Avoid ppl who are into casual relations no matter the gender!
Find a true Christian man who will love you for who you are. They are out there and are willing to support you and your children! I can’t say enough about faith, as a man without faith in God is much more likely to be unfaithful to you! If he/she is a true Christian, which doesn’t mean they are flawless but much more reliable as a partner and parent!
Women are generally not great at picking men, and when left to their own devices will gravitate towards the highest strata (in terms of looks, status , etc., aka, hypergamy) of men who most display what JP refers to as 'dark tetrad' personality traits which they mistake for things like charisma charm etc. Men understand men, which is why having a guy who has no intention of pursuing you romantically (eg a family member) help with the selecting or vetting process makes so much sense
The whole way we live our lives with technology is absolutely cultivating this type of behavior. Traditional will never be a thing again just because of the technology itself existing
I've hooked up with women I don't really care about before and it feels dishonest and animalistic. I don't feel like I'm doing them or myself any favors playing in the game of separating intimacy from love I kinda consider it below my credentials now
If you truly begin with the understanding that every human life - within it - holds a spark of the divine, and we are made in the image of God, (as did many of our progenitors), it changes the mode of being - ie we operate our lives differently, simply by virtue of our worldview representing the fact that we know we are divine vessels. It's a completely different conversation with someone, when you operate (in discussion) with others, in an understanding that we are not just interacting with them, but interacting with the spirit of that person (who is simply occupying their physical body) - that all persons are intrinsically valuable, rather than just a clump of cells (which "science" wants us to believe). No wonder the world is such a screwed up place.
I'm a Single 31 year old man who has been chatting with women online since 11. And online dating since about 19/20. It's become catastrophic since about the mid 2010s. Social media has really destroyed women. They all go for the hottest guys. But don't realize they are NOT the hottest girls because of how much attention they get. It's really ruining dating. I'm terrified for the future because I know societies burn to the ground when men can't have wives.
@@ohnoohnonoyou seem to forget you’re the product of two humans connecting. that’s what keeps humanity alive, not MGTOW or “loving yourself & your friends instead of a partner”
what do y'all think of this: recently I was in my favorite bar on Saturday night...a great 150yr old building w a saddle up to the bar feeling. There were a group of 4 young ladies..one of whom had a stroller with the shade guard pulled down so far i didn't know exactly who/what was in it except for a couple of tiny human feet extending from the bottom. The child appeared to be around toddler age. As I watched the "mother" would occasionally nudge the stroller, but did not interact w the child in any way. Soon I noticed that the child had an iPhone in hand and was moving it around as a light or viewing something, but not typing on it. I must of watched for around 20 minutes while this was happening and felt increasingly uncomfortable....I wanted to go over and play peek a boo or something just to ...what??....connect on some level with this little human. What is going on w mothering these days....? יוי
bro didn't you know get them on man made drugs you say that they have adhd the doctor prescribes them with speed based pills that's right speed. then you proceed to sitt that child infront of a phone an ipad or tv and let the machine raise the child then you get a pension because your looking after what the government deems as an unfit child but the child was crafted by the mother.
wait untill you meet one that is 18 years or older and has only ever known this life you will spin out. and doctors governments and mothers all do this to their children and no one blinks an eyelid.
The fact that short term "relationship" exists means that people don't understand the importance of family. They often say something like "Oh, I like casual sex and I want a family in the future". This "in the future" starts always now. Casual sex is not fun, especially for me, because I am a woman. It feels empty, meaningless. There are plenty other things that can be fun
As a gay man, I at first bought into the casual sex lie. I came to realize that sex without intimacy or responsibility devalues everyone. Some of us don't buy into selfish, narcissistic attitudes toward sex, our partner, or the privilege of raising a happy family.
Um, Sir, sodomozing other men is inherently devaluing. Emasculating yourself and other men, is inherently degrading. Engaging in unnatural sexual acts-putting things in holes which are not made for such-is inherently irresponsible, causing physical harm and disease.
“Sex without intimacy or responsibility devalues everyone”- that is a good way of saying it. The act itself seems to become more devalued and casual too.
From Middle French casuel, from Late Latin cāsuālis (“happening by chance”), from Latin cāsus (“event”) (English case), from cadere (“to fall”) (whence English cadence). for example the alteration of the meaning of the word 'casual' as it is currently understood by those who speak your specific fallen subdialect of english.
Honestly romantic relationships have always been problematic because they dominate over every other type of relationship: friendship, parenthood, family relations, community, etc
There can be good and bad consequences to short term/casual relationships, just as there are good and bad consequences to committed relationships. Choose wisely which you engage in and with whom. Unfortunately, I have several friends - middle aged men - in long-term loveless and sexless marriages and they're miserable...choose wisely.
The problem arises when people who are willing and able to do high investments meet people who mostly are low investors! Does Mr. Peterson has solution for that?
there needs to be intervention at the grade school levels at this point. curriculums need to incorporate education regarding self-esteem, values and character development. history classes are largely devoted to teaching about past events, which is important to some extent, but maybe by including implications for building a better future we can make a huge difference. i believe to a large extent these issues are so systemic at this point and reflective of societal values.
Will never happen since schools aren’t for that purpose. They do not have every students’ best interest in mind. It used to be religion, community and family that did those things. Elites destroyed these.
Accepting another person in one’s life, both for man or woman, after having a previous one is endorsing that people are disposable. How can this be good for a person and the society? People neglect that engaging in that, instead of fixing a relationship, makes them accept by themselves that in a new relationship they can be replaced. What is then logical to stand for?
Approx 1% of the population are truly pyschopathic and about 38% are promiscuous. What accounts for this disparity. Is it possible that there are other factors like high testosterone in the case of men, a reluctance to commit financial resources , wanting to avoid a broken heart, or simply sheer hedonism that is not necessarily correlated with dark triad traits
Yeah you used the keyword: _truly_. It is a continuum and towards the extreme end (the 1% you mentioned) there is a bunch of individuals, who can be diagnosed as having antisocial personality disorder. Most of them presumably have innate basis for lack of empathy. It does not mean that there is no grey zone psychopathy or there are no individuals with a decreased ability to feel empathy. Certain life experiences can result in such an outcome (and probably there are also genetic causes for this, but it is not the topic of question).
@@TeleolutionOK what about people who are monogamish or have an open relationship, do they possess 'grey area' pychopathic traits with some degree of impaired empathy? While I'd agree that almost all hardcore psychopaths are promiscuous by necessity, the rest of the population who may have varying degrees of sexual preferences from monogamy to multiple partners are not necessarily suffering from antisocial disorders. Age is a factor, are young people more psychopathic because they have more promiscuous sex, likewise the lgtbq community is more promiscuous but not necessarily lacking in empathy as many vote liberal
@@TeleolutionAround 50% of the population have high to moderate character trait openess which corresponds with willingness to try new experiences and high creativity. This could account for some promiscuity in healthy personality types
I’ve been going out with a lot of woman lately and I’m a good man trying to find a good woman and it’s pretty fucking hard. I’m constantly ending these relationships quickly because I see the red flags and I’m not putting up with this shit. Either they have trauma or not in a place to receive. It’s fucking exhausting man… I’m trying my best not to just become a whore again but at this point it just feels like I’m heading down that horrendous path again.
Take the monk pill No need for marriage/ long term relationships, no need for casual intercourse either Marriage most likely destroys men financially and mentally Casual s3x most likely destroys men spiritually and physically
I dont understand the idea that dating for “marriage” is too much pressure. Where I come from, once we start dating (usually from age 19), there is an understanding that the couple is dating for marriage. Most people marry their 1st or 2nd boyfriend/girlfriend in my culture and we spend a good amount of time getting to know them before getting into a relationship (no sex). I dont understand the multiple different dates and numerous flings n partners and women pretending not to want something solid and committed.
I was one of those men, but I think there's a spectrum there. I had a lot of bad sides but I wasn't sadistic, it was more a thing of proving self worth (which of course it does the opposite of). It's not a good way to live life as a young person though.
This might sound graphic, but woman do not understand what "post nut clarity" is, that men can only do. Woman get a lingering of "what if's?" after sex happens from brain chemical interplays, where at that point a man can be "like what the F" did i just do, since the urge and tension has been released? Can you see how it's important to understand there is a middle point from where men and woman, meet and in that polarity of behavior we have mechanisms that are different but draw each other in and keep each other there. Woman can get hung up on a guy that legit, just thinks the worst of her after sex happens and wondering why trauma surrounds relationships. Find people who want to be around you and match your personality and you won't hold a grudge towards relationships.
Not all women, some of us do think wtf did i just do? And the clear path is away! And some men ( i know some are just like the way you describe women . We need to quit generalizing.
😹😹😹😹😹😹😹hilarious that men don’t think women get post nut clarity too. Men think they know everything, even the inside of a woman’s brain. You’re telling me I don’t know how I feel? Hilarious
the difference betweem mosquitos/fish…and humans is those animals mate exclusively and instinctively to produce outsprings while the people he described do it purely for pleasure. however, I suppose some unexpected emotional reactions may get triggered and mess things up.
6:35 THAT IS SO FCKNG TRUE!!! Sorry for the all caps but thats what happened with all of my sibblings and me. None of us have a partner or sexual relationships. Even in highschool i used to say that its not worth the headache and hastle, having a girlfriend. Also i didnt feel worthy enough for that and im not attractive so no woman for me 🤷♂️
Ik its hard but a healthy relationship with a good woman is possible. You can definitely do it bro. Just a challenge to achieve. But nothing worth having comes easy.
@@lavieenrose7925 Im not giving up per se but im not really interested in most of the women out there because i see how many of them talk about their boyfriends (they are scared of men or just dont leave them yet because they get free stuff from them etc..) and im shure as hell am not going to be a freaking atm for them. Women will never be able to love you they will only stay as long as they are shure you are the best they can do and you would be able to find another girl quickly. As soon as the rich chad comes they will leave you for a short adventure and all your future planning is just out the window. How tf are you supposed to deal with these modern women? You will be the dumb fck who looses half of his sh!t to a girl thats gone on the chad carousel and wants a divorce... I heard about a story of a very successful (real estate developer) who bought a giant villa and because he loved his wife very much he gifted it to her... and what did she do?... ... ... she left him divorced him and threw him out of his own home... i would rather be alone than having to deal with sh!t like this. Im not giving up i just decided what i want and thats not having a woman. Is that hard for you to understand? There is so much stuff to by myself and im not so bored that i need this kind of drama in my life.
I think casual affairs are so harmful, for your wellbeing.. Looking at it as a woman, I think there is nothing to gain from a guy who is not prepared to have one and only serious relationship with you. Of course woman also needs to be worth of the effort. 😀
@ at one point in my life, yes until I got caught and karma started me on a path accelerated by the lockdowns. I have not dated in years. But I still remember my time as a local Lothario. I’m thankful that era was short.
I never really thought about it but how sympathetic we are with animals kind of lines with how much the animal cares for its offspring. No cares about killing a mosquito compared to a dog
How did it change once you're beyond having kids? I had a, vasectomy at 41, partly after an ex had gotten pregnant under false pretenses a few years earlier and I didn't want to be raising kids past 60.
@@gersondacunha4494 when you’re looking to settle down in a serious relationship, you’ll probably wonder about her body count. You’ll have just contributed to who knows how many woman’s body counts that their husbands are gonna be eternally pissed about. Congratulations, what did your hookup actually achieve? You just made the problem worse.
I've been single for 4 years and dating. I would say that most men want to be in a long-term relationship. BUT a small number of them are willing to make a real effort to do so. Willingness alone is not enough
By real effort you mean either wooing or simping. But If a girl likes a guy, the guys don't need to put in extra effort. Personally I have never got the woman whom I woo or simp but the woman who liked me already and made my approach easy. My anecdotal experience says almost all women like serious relationships but once they find a hot guy they somehow agree with the short term. My friend is a married monogamous hot guy. He is approached by his colleagues for ons a lot. People think these girls are not common but these girls are the common girls who look innocent and good girls outside to others.
7:10 it's important to understand that it isn't all doom and gloom, and that there is a significant cultural divergence underway. While there are people who swear off parenthood because it strikes them as so terrible, there are also people who commit to being a better parent than their own parents were. Millenial dads spend 3x more time with their children than prior generations.
Jordan- do not overlook the women who are like this. My mom has 4 kids with 4 different men and has never been married! Has had many short term relationships over the years
Hedonistic and self restraint are the diametrically opposing political or world views some or many people identify with likely because of upbringing. Sticking to either or Ieither 100% can be the cause of discord common amongst accordion players. Right or left leaning can learn through practice workable ambidextrous action that excites and invites incisiveness that cuts hanging threads with the razors edge.
I hear and understand everything that has been said here. One comment, though. Much of this, including personality pathology always existed, but it wasn't studied much or talked about openly. I have 60 and 80 year old friends who were told in the 1950s and 1960s they were regretted children. It was a shameful thing to say and wasn't said openly. The dark triad and psychopathy was alive and well in the past also. The movements you are talking about are the most extreme, open, boastful forms of it being celebrated and encouraged but just represent the most extreme form of it on a spectrum, on a continuum. There are many more subtle and less egregious forms of this in families. Still as lethal and egregious and scarring. I know. As Solomon would say, nothing new under the sun, not really. Birth control cut down on the unwanted pregnancies also. Good video.
Please jordan have Dr. Orion taraban from the psychacks youtube channel on your podcast. He specializes in human relationships and would disagree with you on a lot of your beliefs
I always wanted a family, im the only male grandson, im a Romani Gypsy Jew ( my fam is Christian Catholic, the combination I am the Gypsy Jew parts dads dad and noms mom but Christians, this is only by blood, my dad's waz from our slavery as hus grandfather was being released from it was late 1880s, well all his immediate family waz and he luckily wasn't the village, so eastern Europe he came as 1893 was Chicago world Fair.. our slavery in ways that we were musicians assassins knew witchcraft curseaall divination that i hate as ive seen the results and concluded obviously Father is much more mighty,but Gypsies aren't big on murder and rape, it was long ago that if u killed an innocent u were killed. and imagine the same thing applies w rape yea the leaders of the families w a " king" of us would use an object to do to him what he did " do unto others as u would have them do to u, .. its not just do unto u but what would u have them do to u and they that did there was ab example made bur they like to fight in all out brawls ir bare knuckle boxing but none to the death,) anyway i was engaged to someone mayve 8 montha older for us to bw married at 16 and yea we liked each other got along we were able to and there's a chaperone, so no renting each other to devirgenize one another but our families had trouble qel ut didnt and alot of drama and then nothing was arranged again so i started to date i didn't w any girls but grown women and they ended being married and i gueaa because dead end relationships nothing tru blossomes and when it did i did the best i could and then divorced and i gueaa whoremonger adulterer. Then i meet the last who not broke what was left as i knew her pretty much all her the relationship was a lie as she was told to do this to hurt by her mom as her told her that my mother contributed to death of her dad but she didn't but her life was to be 30 days of his death but i came and just got the medics and i was learning emergency med and all kind of things someone who wanted to be a doctor would know, so she's still alive anyway this did me in so much w all facets u can think to hurr someone legally economically character assassination then after each thing fight to have me back but seduce me it was idk i don't even n care i lost my motivation to do anything nt gpa in college was 3.7 now under 2... Told my college i had drugs and yea thinga i didn't know o gad in me .. um truch gone license went to cook county a slewof compounding of retail thefts that like someone was telling them everything to put me there.. yea im 38 now and i don't have Inside me what i had before .. i never been so lonelt i don't kno engage anyone I like anymore im like way to honest too pleasing became dumber idk it sucks
jordan i have a serious question man. if god is real and is this god that can create the whole universe with a single word why does he let bad people do bad things to good people why does he not come down from out of the sky and smite those down that would harm his beloved mankind?
God didn't create a bunch of robots. He gave mankind free will to choose to do either right or wrong. Because of sin, this is a fallen world where bad things happen. I believe that God does intervene in some situations through divine providence. Sometimes tragedy brings people closer to faith. The devil also exists and there truly is a battle between good and evil.
He did IT Once 2000 years Ago and instead being the punisher He in his free will and salavation plan chose to rather die to save All inclusing Bad people. Since there IS still chance for Bad people to change they life better said to be sorry for All Bad they did and so be saved and earn eternal life with God. So He IS, his greatest Mercy with us.
@@sharoncochran8508 so you believe in manifestation? do you believe that because people believe there is a god and a devil that they manifested unknowingly the god and the devil dynamic? in return created all of the bad that happens ?
This legitimises restrictions on the right to vote. No one wants leaders or a social development based on the psychic characteristics you describe here belong to people who behave in line with reproduction with low investment. At the same time, we know that people make decisions based on what the individual thinks best serves his or her own situation. Consequently, the right to vote must be limited to adults with ten years' work experience outside government-owned enterprises who live and work with a partner with whom they have two or more children together.
Hooking up makes you a narcissist?... Sounds like a huge leap. I get what he is trying to say but he is a doctor and should be using the terms more appropriately.
Treating other people in a negative way for your own short term gain is narcissistic behavior. No huge leap whatsoever, totally accurate. When both parties have informed consent about the situation, that's different.
I'm sure you will labe this as "self-oriented" but can you present a logical argument for why one SHOULD sublimate their particular tastes for what you consider the wholesomeness of society as a whole? Or leaving "should" and morality out of it, why is it more "mature" to sacrifice your wishes for the stability of society? Even if you accept that casual sex IS bad for society and society is better when people pair off into monogamous couples, I have never really noticed any connection between age and altruism. 🤷🏽♀️. We considet extremely young children more "selfish" than adults... No, adults are just as selfish, it's just more latent because most adults have learned that it isn't a great strategy to make everyone else in the world aware of the fact that you care more about yourself and your needs than everyone else. Children don't try to cover up their natural urges.
@@Bluesmoke4200 What tastes are you referring to? If your tastes involve another human it needs to sublimated inherently unless you plan to dominate them. Treat others as you want to be treated, would you want someone to assume their desire and wants trump yours? How is that productive, to assume you only have yourself to worry about? It’s a psychopathic perspective you seem to be arguing for.
I think it’s normal to go through a period of casual intimacy. I personally have always been in a relationship and never have had a one night stand but I’ve met loads of people who have had casual sexual interactions and then later in life finally settled down with someone for the long term. I think a benefit to having casual intimacy with people helps you identify more precisely what it is you’re looking for in a person. Because of your past intimate experiences you learn more about what you want and want you don’t want from a relationship.
I completely agree. I also dont understand how jordan makes the conclusion that engaging in short term casual relationships = the dark tetrad. I think its a bad thing to influence people to see those who engage in these relationships at any time for any reason to automatically = such horrible character traits. I think Jordan lacks nuance in this idea or maybe has a fundamental misunderstanding
I can't help but disagree. I understand many people believe they have to "try it out" and see what they like --nope, the consequences of practicing 'sex with the intention to break up when you're "done" or it gets boring' leads people to develop a chronic state of seeking out a new/better mate EVEN when they're taken or satisfied with the relationship. Humans are ruled by habits, sure some can break free or retrain their subconscious, but when you act out the habit of being with someone and then leaving you're not only fucking up your oxytocin receptors but also reinforcing the neural pathways that will dictate your future behavior. And then people wonder why they can't settle down after having slept with many or had countless relationships --and when they do it's usually due to desperate complacency, not satisfaction. A great alternative is to only seek out extremely serious relationships, try premarital counseling and question each other's goals/morals/personality/preferences and plan to commit and truly commit. I'm aware this is rare and hard to come by but if you stick to it and go to places that most likely have people with these values, it's possible. "Till death do us part" literally means nothing these days cuz before you both practiced the act of being with other people and then eventually (or really soon after) leaving them, what do you expect your brain to do now, keep you together just cuz you said you would?? Once the entactogens (honeymoon phase chemicals) run out at 3-6 months you'll immediately begin to seek someone better or an excuse to get out.
This is a misunderstanding and conflating between casual sex and multiple dates. From the origination stand point, casual sex comes from short term gratification with a short term goal: dopamine; while dating someone for a while - with sex - requires emotional investments and effort to get to know the person. Long term practicing casual sex pushes the person toward negative emotions, and ultimately unable to establish trust in their dating partner. Or they simply just stop dating. Or starting to lower the value of marriage to validate their feelings of being single (yes, this trend is already there). On the other hand, multiple dates (not on multiple partners at the same time) eventually lead to multiple breakups, that's bad news. However, through learning from experiences the person will find a compatible partner and will be able to build a long term relationship with them. Not all casual sex chasers will be single forever, [some] of them will be able to break out and have a functional relationship. Not all long term relationships last forever, [some] of them will break and one of the partners fall into the sex chasing cycle. I don't condemn all casual sex chasers, I don't believe all relationships will last. Regardless, to stay as a good person - for you and for your loved one - you must aim up, for long term investments. Only then, you'll find the responsibility, accountability and ultimately, meaning of life. If you aim for short term gratification, you'll also become an object for others to find gratification on you, and will lose your way in the process.
I like Peterson, but I don’t like the other dude. Also I don’t like “The Wire” which seems to be a platform for the conservative right. It seems to be so that what Peterson has to say alligns a lot with the conservative right’s agenda. I took a membership with the wire to see the videos they offer of dr. Peterson. But the rest of what’s on the wire is just appaling. They come with “facts” which all fit in with their agenda. Their “facts” show how bad the left is and their “facts” support gun the current laws etc. It’s so ridiculous to see this as a Dutch citizen, living in a social democratic country where guns have been banned for god knows how long. I wonder why Peterson would lend his name to a platform like the Wire.
Pretty sure he's not working at all, being a deceased mortal. Congratulations on lowering from the "blind leading the blind" into the blind rummaging around a graveyard.
I'll be a bit of a devil's advocate, I can see that people who reject short-term relationships out of principle are not really ready for a long-term relationship because they don't really know themselves. They live in a fantasy of what a relationship should look like, but they've never experienced a real relationship with a live person.
The implication you’re making is people that are open to short term relationships are ready for long term relationships? That’s not making sense to me. Though, sure. People that haven’t been in relationships idealize what they could/should be, naturally. It’s probably why they haven’t been in a relationship because the reality of modern people is extremely disappointing as far as good prospects for long term relationships.
I think Jordan is missing how casual sex works. Usually how it happens is a guy lowers his standards to have sex, so it stays casual because the guy doesn't' want to be exclusive with a woman below his standards. Women go for it because maybe the guys a little out of their league and they want him and this is a way to sort of get him. Its a game really where each sex is trying to get the absolute best partner they can get. Women end up in hoe_math's three categories: keepers sleepers and sweepers. I'm sure men fall into categories as well, but women haven't named those categories yet or I just don't know what those categories are yet. Boyfriend, Fucboi, Niceguy maybe? Or maybe Chad, Boyfriend, Niceguy?
I don't think he was (interested in) explaining how the casual sex chasers pick their sex partners. That's not the point. The point is what casual sex chasers will most likely BECOME when they participate in that "game" for a long time. There are multiple ways and reasons to choose casual sex partners, but output - what the chasers will be - are likely the same; and this is the point.
Peterson seems unable to break groups on his own. 5% a 10% men that hypergamy woman go to cannot be 100% narcist. He just talks around it without seeing he talking around it. There X% no narcist and Y% narcist in top 5% a 10% the hypergamy woman want.
The male biological strategy is to spread genes as far and wide as possible, theoretically. The female pays the higher price for reproduction, so by default is the one who 'sets the standard'. This concept is described as Mate Choice Theory. Modern women having access to birth control abortions and casual hookup culture upends the natural order.
There are plenty of longterm couples raising children in gay relationships (your friend Dave Rubin is an example,) who are not hedonistic. Calling all Pride people psychopaths, is not quite fair Jordan.
Do not conflate the "Pride" movement with homosexuals generally. "Pride" are the flamboyant, left-wing, flag-waving miscreants _specifically_ and should not be construed to be representative of the general lesbian/gay/bisexual population in general, some of whom might take offense to being associated with "Pride".
Wow, my comment got eaten. Fuck the AI. Do not conflate "pride" with the general population of non-heterosexual persons. It refers to a specific subset of leftwing authoritarians.
So as a gay guy who does appreciate Matt and Jordan, Matt - with regard to the gay guy who doesn't divulge his HIV status, things are different in 2024. An HIV positive guy who has an undetectable viral load is not able to transmit HIV to others. This has been the case for about 11 years now.
Still, by not disclosing your status you are denying your partner vital information they need to make an informed decision about the relationship. Not cool
I also dont understand how jordan makes the conclusion that engaging in short term casual relationships = the dark tetrad. I think its a bad thing to influence people to see those who engage in these relationships at any time for any reason to automatically = such horrible character traits. I think Jordan lacks nuance in this idea or maybe has a fundamental misunderstanding. I think it would be benificial for Jordan to have Dr. Orion taraban from the youtube channel psychacks to share his perspective on jordan's ideas on relationships since he actually specializes in it and could push back on a lot og Jordans ideas and provide more researched and accurate perspectives with the backing of a lot more personal and professional experince in this subject
You all make the mistake of assuming there’s nuance here. There’s not, our culture has overcomplicated and convoluted this topic to create confusion and no real sense of boundaries. When you sleep with someone you’re making a biological statement, flat out. “I’ll have your kids” or “you’ll have my kids”. That’s not a trivial thing. Now that we have birth control and condoms people have completely stolen the biological weight and reality of what intimacy is.
And now... 2 fellas who know casual relationships about as much as a fish knows about flying - will lecture you on casual relationships. **SPOILER ALERT** They don't like them. News at 11.
Never heard of "Flying Fish"? Do you have to be a mason to know that a block wall is stronger than a paper one. Any "pack" animal that prioritizes self over family, group, or tribe, will inevitably cause a lessening of cohesive structure and ultimately the collapse of that society... human or otherwise! Funny how many "socialists" are such hedonists. Apparently having learned nothing from true communal societies... bees, ants, and termites come to mind. 99 self sacrifice so that 1 might live to continue the community. Now with leftists, everyone wants to be "the one"!
I am 38 years old and have only had casual sexual partners my entire life. My parents are caring and loving. I don’t think I am an individual narcissist, I don’t care what people do. I just pull out.
I personally would rather see 2 involved and caring gay parents than 2 indifferent, uninvolved straight ones and I suspect the kids would think the same too. 😕
I'm mgtow now but historically leaned hard towards ONSs. I have a very high conscientiousness and a strong sense of empathy. I've had a wonderful life and I'm pretty sure most of the women I've been with would have me back.
Our culture is revolting against maturity but complain at the consequences.
Yep
Yes exactly
🎯🎯🎯
This is a well written description of what's going on. I was undoubtably like this for a while and now I'm working to reverse it
Like school children against their teacher, it will cost them dearly
*I never participated in causal relationships and hookup culture.* I’m 6’4, handsome according to most women. I was a star basketball player on my HS and College bball team (D2). I had my reasons for avoiding hookup culture but it’s crazy how you get scrutinized by your peers, both women and men for wanting a serious relationship; and waiting for it. My wife is the only person I’ve been with and being married means nothing to some women. I work in the corporate world and women will ask me about my wife and children and still make multiple passes of wanting me to sleep with them.
I respect people like you man, you are not going unnoticed 🤝 you chose integrity in a world where everyone is giving up
They want to drag you into their world and ruin your life. Trust me.
Poor guy
It’s not just hockup culture, but it’s also a dating culture. Simple truth is that we shouldn’t date. We should courtship. Difference is that dating is just messing around to figure it out while courtship is people making long term choices to start families.
the question is sir, if your wife only been with u through the marriege ahaha
Intimacy traditionally was a sacrament to marriage and in reality is making a biological statement about the person your giving yourself to. “I’m willing to mix and carry on my bloodline with you” that’s what intimacy is inherently. People have totally glossed over that reality for the sake of impulse and convenience
We all feel the reality and weight of that biological statement. That’s why body count bothers people. The person you’re with has made that biological statement with multiple people, even if they didn’t mean it. It’s inherently devaluing, maybe embarrassing, and implies they don’t take themselves seriously to have made such a serious statement with people they weren’t taking seriously.
@@TheBlazingEagleHigh body counts for women have much worse implications. The loss of the ability to pair bond, fracturing of the psyche, low self esteem, conditioning compulsion, micro chimerism and telegony and the list goes on.
If you aren’t interested in having children, assumptions about carrying on bloodlines would be wrong. Willingness to be intimate can be totally decoupled from reproduction and bloodline bullshit. The advent of birth control moved that decoupling from theoretical to actual. We are human beings first and gendered human beings second. Practicalities of biology, not biology itself dictate culture. Change the practical situation and you can at least theoretically, change the culture. What impedes change is not biological reality, but the vast amounts of art, literature, religious practice , etc. that ingrain older practices and that is nearly impossible to avoid exposure to.
@@TheBlazingEagleI just don't want to eat a sandwich that has had many hands on it.
@@TheBlazingEagleThis is a well-written thought. The same goes for gay men but that is another can of worms.
There are bad consequences to short term relationships. True information.
There are also bad consequences to long term relationships lol. There are positives and negatives in everything
@@donatello9482 No. Long term relationships. Till death do us apart is how it goes. Just positive.
@@donatello9482literally !!!!!
@@focm888that’s nonsense. “Till death do us part” is also why abusers feel emboldened, victims refuse to leave, and people who may not be a good fit for each other persist a relationship that’s potentially bad for both parties.
People waste their entire lives, some even actually die, trying to stubbornly commit to the idea that got them killed. There are plenty of negatives.
There's an important gendered difference here, which is that any woman can choose to engage in hookup culture, but most men cannot, even if they have the desire. There's only a very small cohort of men with the capacity to sleep around (
"There's an important gendered difference here, which is that any woman can choose to engage in hookup culture, but most men cannot, even if they have the desire. "
What a stupid lie! Men are the ones more attracted by the visual. That's why you see old men with women young enough to be their granddaughters, but you rarely see things the other way around! PRETTY women can "choose to engage in hookup culture!"
Or the 5% of hyper sexually succesful males. You can’t really put it only on women.
Must be kidding men are bigger slUts than women. Who do you think keeps strippers and ladies of the night well employed give me a break.
Not true. Many men lie into a woman's pants
Jordan and his daughter discussed that most normal average women actually dont feel good after hooking up
because there is no emotional connection, its obvious...so they dont continue with such habit because they crave the connection
or also the expert Sarah Hill also confiurmed from psychological point women regeret much more often sleeping with random guy.
In comments there are often comments from women saying that they gave sex to a man, thinking he will be her boyfriend,
but usually these guys dont wanmt commitment, if she gave him sex early....Because psychologically it doesnt work that way and coaches say the same.
They say dont give the man sex early....because even the best men, are not motivated to build a relationship if you give him sex early.
Its probably a psychological and hormonal thing...They say it is like when some website gives you movies for free, and after 3 months they wannt you to pay 15 dollars a month. Most people refuse because they watched it for fvree before......The same way good men refuse commitment, because she hoped that after giving him sex he will be motivated to build a relationhip.... coaches explkain because women fall in love early on during first sex....men fall in love much later because men have different hormones , so he falls in love after month or so after building the true intimacy and emotional connection.
so she is supposed to give him the sex after few weeks.
It seems those women who do hook up are brainwashed by the culture, and some suggest they dont do it for pleasure but money or also lack of role models in their family.
other wise they wouldnt...then they realise the money isnt ok anyway.
I am a woman who was, not hated, but regretted by my mother, (my siblings were/are treated as blessings) I have one adult child and miscarried four other children. I can not and will never understand parents who regret their children. It is unforgivable and grotesque to me.
obviously it's a defect with the parent not the child
It's hard to say that regret is a chosen feeling. If they have no control over their honest reflection of the situation, how can it be unforgivable? I very much doubt many parents want to regret their children.
Sounds like you need therapy. Its there anything you might have done to have contributed to your mother feeling that way?
You're seriously blaming a child for their parent not wanting them?
@@m.m4982this question is WILD!!
Oxytocin should not be taken lightly.
Care to explain?
@@auburn.JoaoDuarteyeah, I wonder what he means by that.😅
@@auburn.JoaoDuarte it's the hormone of love and bonding.
@@DavidPereiraLima123 lol I know that... But Im dying to know what OP hás to say about his og statement
@@auburn.JoaoDuarte It might be about how unstable we become under the effects of oxytocin. There's a way our own biology dooms us to failure in most relationships, the feelings appear too early and the first phase (knowing each other) happens in a context of hormonal love, which makes our judgement a lot less accurate and tends to accelerate the process, process which in my opinion should last longer. Our biology is wired for bonding and reproduction, and it can overlook the nuance our minds have evolved, making this cycle likely to derive in an unsolvable incompatibility
I an ALL for family matching marriages. Myself I was extremely family oriented and wanted to be a mom and got married. And we has 4 children. The longer in marriage the more he wanted to be stepping out. Always flirting always sneaky. I was soooo overwhelmed and hated myself for being cheated on always yet was caring for our babies. Eventually we divorced and today I understand I didn't know how to vet a proper man. I really needed help. I was pure with good intentions and he turned me into sharp and distanced person. I still care for my teens nowadays and wonder how my kids will make families. I so much wish they chose wisely and the person they chose will not change overtime....bc that also happens.
I know men sometimes have it difficult but in my case I was the one at home and overwhelmed also had to always work to support finances and he was the one into casual relations meantime. It was heartbreaking. It is much easier to be alone than be cheated on. Whoever cheat they cheat on the spouse but also they cheat on the children too.
Avoid ppl who are into casual relations no matter the gender!
Find a true Christian man who will love you for who you are. They are out there and are willing to support you and your children! I can’t say enough about faith, as a man without faith in God is much more likely to be unfaithful to you! If he/she is a true Christian, which doesn’t mean they are flawless but much more reliable as a partner and parent!
@@1ron0xide if you cannot read to understand then why bother
Women are generally not great at picking men, and when left to their own devices will gravitate towards the highest strata (in terms of looks, status , etc., aka, hypergamy) of men who most display what JP refers to as 'dark tetrad' personality traits which they mistake for things like charisma charm etc. Men understand men, which is why having a guy who has no intention of pursuing you romantically (eg a family member) help with the selecting or vetting process makes so much sense
You're expecting a guy to help raise 4 kids? (Stepdad)
@@GUITARTIME2024nope. 2 are adults 2 are teens. No need for step this or dad
The whole way we live our lives with technology is absolutely cultivating this type of behavior. Traditional will never be a thing again just because of the technology itself existing
I've hooked up with women I don't really care about before and it feels dishonest and animalistic. I don't feel like I'm doing them or myself any favors playing in the game of separating intimacy from love
I kinda consider it below my credentials now
I’m glad you’ve stopped
Good for you.
You leveled up. Keep it up!
If you truly begin with the understanding that every human life - within it - holds a spark of the divine, and we are made in the image of God, (as did many of our progenitors), it changes the mode of being - ie we operate our lives differently, simply by virtue of our worldview representing the fact that we know we are divine vessels. It's a completely different conversation with someone, when you operate (in discussion) with others, in an understanding that we are not just interacting with them, but interacting with the spirit of that person (who is simply occupying their physical body) - that all persons are intrinsically valuable, rather than just a clump of cells (which "science" wants us to believe). No wonder the world is such a screwed up place.
I'm a Single 31 year old man who has been chatting with women online since 11. And online dating since about 19/20. It's become catastrophic since about the mid 2010s. Social media has really destroyed women. They all go for the hottest guys. But don't realize they are NOT the hottest girls because of how much attention they get. It's really ruining dating. I'm terrified for the future because I know societies burn to the ground when men can't have wives.
Eh, time to get a personality outside wives then
@@ohnoohnonoZero descendants = zero personalities after you die.
@@mudblood9699 ok
@@ohnoohnonoyou seem to forget you’re the product of two humans connecting. that’s what keeps humanity alive, not MGTOW or “loving yourself & your friends instead of a partner”
@@gx3079.. And? Some people have children, others don't. It has always been like this..
what do y'all think of this: recently I was in my favorite bar on Saturday night...a great 150yr old building w a saddle up to the bar feeling. There were a group of 4 young ladies..one of whom had a stroller with the shade guard pulled down so far i didn't know exactly who/what was in it except for a couple of tiny human feet extending from the bottom. The child appeared to be around toddler age. As I watched the "mother" would occasionally nudge the stroller, but did not interact w the child in any way. Soon I noticed that the child had an iPhone in hand and was moving it around as a light or viewing something, but not typing on it. I must of watched for around 20 minutes while this was happening and felt increasingly uncomfortable....I wanted to go over and play peek a boo or something just to ...what??....connect on some level with this little human.
What is going on w mothering these days....?
יוי
lazy pos's are gonna be lazy pos's, whether or not they are parents.
bro didn't you know get them on man made drugs you say that they have adhd the doctor prescribes them with speed based pills that's right speed. then you proceed to sitt that child infront of a phone an ipad or tv and let the machine raise the child then you get a pension because your looking after what the government deems as an unfit child but the child was crafted by the mother.
wait untill you meet one that is 18 years or older and has only ever known this life you will spin out. and doctors governments and mothers all do this to their children and no one blinks an eyelid.
Having children interact with phones, computers, and video games is neglect
@@Ruminatinghafez Yes, exactly....And neglect is abuse. Many don't see that, and the damage done from this.
The fact that short term "relationship" exists means that people don't understand the importance of family. They often say something like "Oh, I like casual sex and I want a family in the future". This "in the future" starts always now. Casual sex is not fun, especially for me, because I am a woman. It feels empty, meaningless. There are plenty other things that can be fun
As a gay man, I at first bought into the casual sex lie. I came to realize that sex without intimacy or responsibility devalues everyone. Some of us don't buy into selfish, narcissistic attitudes toward sex, our partner, or the privilege of raising a happy family.
Um, Sir, sodomozing other men is inherently devaluing. Emasculating yourself and other men, is inherently degrading. Engaging in unnatural sexual acts-putting things in holes which are not made for such-is inherently irresponsible, causing physical harm and disease.
“Sex without intimacy or responsibility devalues everyone”- that is a good way of saying it. The act itself seems to become more devalued and casual too.
@@buckrogers4174 I think that is part of the empty feeling that flings leave you with.
Repent from 🌈 lifestyle
Gay sex is still sex without accountability, responsibility or productivity.
From Middle French casuel, from Late Latin cāsuālis (“happening by chance”), from Latin cāsus (“event”) (English case), from cadere (“to fall”) (whence English cadence).
for example the alteration of the meaning of the word 'casual' as it is currently understood by those who speak your specific fallen subdialect of english.
Honestly romantic relationships have always been problematic because they dominate over every other type of relationship: friendship, parenthood, family relations, community, etc
There can be good and bad consequences to short term/casual relationships, just as there are good and bad consequences to committed relationships.
Choose wisely which you engage in and with whom.
Unfortunately, I have several friends - middle aged men - in long-term loveless and sexless marriages and they're miserable...choose wisely.
The problem arises when people who are willing and able to do high investments
meet people who mostly are low investors!
Does Mr. Peterson has solution for that?
always offended and never ashamed
Jordan hits this right on target! More factual than most want to admit. So sad, but true. Thanks, sir. 😉👍❤
there needs to be intervention at the grade school levels at this point. curriculums need to incorporate education regarding self-esteem, values and character development. history classes are largely devoted to teaching about past events, which is important to some extent, but maybe by including implications for building a better future we can make a huge difference. i believe to a large extent these issues are so systemic at this point and reflective of societal values.
Will never happen since schools aren’t for that purpose. They do not have every students’ best interest in mind. It used to be religion, community and family that did those things. Elites destroyed these.
Accepting another person in one’s life, both for man or woman, after having a previous one is endorsing that people are disposable.
How can this be good for a person and the society?
People neglect that engaging in that, instead of fixing a relationship, makes them accept by themselves that in a new relationship they can be replaced. What is then logical to stand for?
I totally agree. Two of my kids are like this. They have really destroyed a good family. Its disgusting.
Approx 1% of the population are truly pyschopathic and about 38% are promiscuous. What accounts for this disparity. Is it possible that there are other factors like high testosterone in the case of men, a reluctance to commit financial resources , wanting to avoid a broken heart, or simply sheer hedonism that is not necessarily correlated with dark triad traits
Yeah you used the keyword: _truly_. It is a continuum and towards the extreme end (the 1% you mentioned) there is a bunch of individuals, who can be diagnosed as having antisocial personality disorder. Most of them presumably have innate basis for lack of empathy. It does not mean that there is no grey zone psychopathy or there are no individuals with a decreased ability to feel empathy. Certain life experiences can result in such an outcome (and probably there are also genetic causes for this, but it is not the topic of question).
@@TeleolutionOK what about people who are monogamish or have an open relationship, do they possess 'grey area' pychopathic traits with some degree of impaired empathy? While I'd agree that almost all hardcore psychopaths are promiscuous by necessity, the rest of the population who may have varying degrees of sexual preferences from monogamy to multiple partners are not necessarily suffering from antisocial disorders. Age is a factor, are young people more psychopathic because they have more promiscuous sex, likewise the lgtbq community is more promiscuous but not necessarily lacking in empathy as many vote liberal
@@TeleolutionAround 50% of the population have high to moderate character trait openess which corresponds with willingness to try new experiences and high creativity. This could account for some promiscuity in healthy personality types
What you just described is pretty antisocial. smh
Sorry, please explain what is antisocial?@karleykathleen4945
I’ve been going out with a lot of woman lately and I’m a good man trying to find a good woman and it’s pretty fucking hard. I’m constantly ending these relationships quickly because I see the red flags and I’m not putting up with this shit. Either they have trauma or not in a place to receive. It’s fucking exhausting man… I’m trying my best not to just become a whore again but at this point it just feels like I’m heading down that horrendous path again.
You don't have a choice, it's either harem of side chick's or celibacy these days.
Don't give up.
Us loyal women are out there waiting for y'all to come find us.
There is a reason why YOU keep attracting low value women with red flags! Look in the mirror. You are, who you attract!
Take the monk pill
No need for marriage/ long term relationships, no need for casual intercourse either
Marriage most likely destroys men financially and mentally
Casual s3x most likely destroys men spiritually and physically
I dont understand the idea that dating for “marriage” is too much pressure. Where I come from, once we start dating (usually from age 19), there is an understanding that the couple is dating for marriage. Most people marry their 1st or 2nd boyfriend/girlfriend in my culture and we spend a good amount of time getting to know them before getting into a relationship (no sex). I dont understand the multiple different dates and numerous flings n partners and women pretending not to want something solid and committed.
Culture in the west is terrible. That’s why.
I was one of those men, but I think there's a spectrum there. I had a lot of bad sides but I wasn't sadistic, it was more a thing of proving self worth (which of course it does the opposite of).
It's not a good way to live life as a young person though.
It’s narcisstic and immature, but I also did narcissistic and immature things at 21
Gross
This might sound graphic, but woman do not understand what "post nut clarity" is, that men can only do. Woman get a lingering of "what if's?" after sex happens from brain chemical interplays, where at that point a man can be "like what the F" did i just do, since the urge and tension has been released? Can you see how it's important to understand there is a middle point from where men and woman, meet and in that polarity of behavior we have mechanisms that are different but draw each other in and keep each other there.
Woman can get hung up on a guy that legit, just thinks the worst of her after sex happens and wondering why trauma surrounds relationships. Find people who want to be around you and match your personality and you won't hold a grudge towards relationships.
Not all women, some of us do think wtf did i just do? And the clear path is away! And some men ( i know some are just like the way you describe women . We need to quit generalizing.
😹😹😹😹😹😹😹hilarious that men don’t think women get post nut clarity too. Men think they know everything, even the inside of a woman’s brain. You’re telling me I don’t know how I feel? Hilarious
Why do men hook up like dogs if then they feel disgusted by themselves or project it onto the woman? Lol
They want to be the top percent of men that sleep around 🤮 but then they go lying about their number 🤔🤔🤔
@@zaq1337 they desperately do. Lol. Well maybe through Dropshipping business they become hot strong masculine and rich
Shared memories should be considered.
I love when Jordan breaks out his falsetto voice😂😂
the difference betweem mosquitos/fish…and humans is those animals mate exclusively and instinctively to produce outsprings while the people he described do it purely for pleasure. however, I suppose some unexpected emotional reactions may get triggered and mess things up.
6:35 THAT IS SO FCKNG TRUE!!! Sorry for the all caps but thats what happened with all of my sibblings and me. None of us have a partner or sexual relationships. Even in highschool i used to say that its not worth the headache and hastle, having a girlfriend. Also i didnt feel worthy enough for that and im not attractive so no woman for me 🤷♂️
Ik its hard but a healthy relationship with a good woman is possible. You can definitely do it bro. Just a challenge to achieve. But nothing worth having comes easy.
Yes just give up and never try for a good relationship... fantastic stradegy you got there
@@lavieenrose7925 Im not giving up per se but im not really interested in most of the women out there because i see how many of them talk about their boyfriends (they are scared of men or just dont leave them yet because they get free stuff from them etc..) and im shure as hell am not going to be a freaking atm for them. Women will never be able to love you they will only stay as long as they are shure you are the best they can do and you would be able to find another girl quickly. As soon as the rich chad comes they will leave you for a short adventure and all your future planning is just out the window. How tf are you supposed to deal with these modern women? You will be the dumb fck who looses half of his sh!t to a girl thats gone on the chad carousel and wants a divorce... I heard about a story of a very successful (real estate developer) who bought a giant villa and because he loved his wife very much he gifted it to her... and what did she do?... ... ... she left him divorced him and threw him out of his own home... i would rather be alone than having to deal with sh!t like this. Im not giving up i just decided what i want and thats not having a woman. Is that hard for you to understand? There is so much stuff to by myself and im not so bored that i need this kind of drama in my life.
@@lavieenrose7925 Frankly i dont have time to even look for a girlfriend. I have other shit to do, i dont have time for stupid dating apps.
Thank you 💯
Good food for thought Mr Peterson
Both men and women who are not serious are waste of time 🧐
So 4.5% of men and most women?
@@SubvertTheState Haha I dont think its so asimmetrical.
Some children are more logical and down to earth then those type of parents!
I think casual affairs are so harmful, for your wellbeing.. Looking at it as a woman, I think there is nothing to gain from a guy who is not prepared to have one and only serious relationship with you. Of course woman also needs to be worth of the effort. 😀
awesome vid g
I am the type of man you are describing and I agree with you.
Is it because of seeking instant gratification? The thrill of chasing new women? Or both?
@ at one point in my life, yes until I got caught and karma started me on a path accelerated by the lockdowns. I have not dated in years. But I still remember my time as a local Lothario. I’m thankful that era was short.
this format really suits me
I never really thought about it but how sympathetic we are with animals kind of lines with how much the animal cares for its offspring. No cares about killing a mosquito compared to a dog
Spot on.
On point! 👍💫👌✌️ Thanks for this
How did it change once you're beyond having kids? I had a, vasectomy at 41, partly after an ex had gotten pregnant under false pretenses a few years earlier and I didn't want to be raising kids past 60.
I got caught in this dilemma which I don’t like but I am not a monster because I sometimes do casual because there’s no option almost
@@gersondacunha4494 when you’re looking to settle down in a serious relationship, you’ll probably wonder about her body count. You’ll have just contributed to who knows how many woman’s body counts that their husbands are gonna be eternally pissed about. Congratulations, what did your hookup actually achieve? You just made the problem worse.
I've been single for 4 years and dating. I would say that most men want to be in a long-term relationship. BUT a small number of them are willing to make a real effort to do so. Willingness alone is not enough
By real effort you mean either wooing or simping. But If a girl likes a guy, the guys don't need to put in extra effort. Personally I have never got the woman whom I woo or simp but the woman who liked me already and made my approach easy.
My anecdotal experience says almost all women like serious relationships but once they find a hot guy they somehow agree with the short term. My friend is a married monogamous hot guy. He is approached by his colleagues for ons a lot. People think these girls are not common but these girls are the common girls who look innocent and good girls outside to others.
7:10 it's important to understand that it isn't all doom and gloom, and that there is a significant cultural divergence underway.
While there are people who swear off parenthood because it strikes them as so terrible, there are also people who commit to being a better parent than their own parents were. Millenial dads spend 3x more time with their children than prior generations.
That's a heartening statistic for a change.
love this
Thats just a symptom of how many narcissistic people are outhere
Jordan- do not overlook the women who are like this. My mom has 4 kids with 4 different men and has never been married! Has had many short term relationships over the years
Why did the thumbnail look like an Epic Rap Battles video for a min?
Hedonistic and self restraint are the diametrically opposing political or world views some or many people identify with likely because of upbringing.
Sticking to either or Ieither 100% can be the cause of discord common amongst accordion players.
Right or left leaning can learn through practice workable ambidextrous action that excites and invites incisiveness that cuts hanging threads with the razors edge.
I hear and understand everything that has been said here. One comment, though. Much of this, including personality pathology always existed, but it wasn't studied much or talked about openly. I have 60 and 80 year old friends who were told in the 1950s and 1960s they were regretted children. It was a shameful thing to say and wasn't said openly. The dark triad and psychopathy was alive and well in the past also. The movements you are talking about are the most extreme, open, boastful forms of it being celebrated and encouraged but just represent the most extreme form of it on a spectrum, on a continuum. There are many more subtle and less egregious forms of this in families. Still as lethal and egregious and scarring. I know. As Solomon would say, nothing new under the sun, not really. Birth control cut down on the unwanted pregnancies also. Good video.
Currently hunting and old school wife lmao. Equally simple and fun
the boomer generation as the first ME generation and now we see the consequences in society
I've had my time as a bit of player, the idea that every guy who has that is a psychopath is just ridiculous
Every ex boyfriend is a narcissist huh , 🤣
All ex girlfriends though are...
My last girlfriend spent 18 months on social media spreading some vile lies about me.
I'm not at all convinced the costs are worth the convenience.
@Owen Cook response?
I propose we need Etiquette Schools again. Run by God Fearing Christian Conservatives.
Yes and bring God back into schools.
I agree
best!!!
Please jordan have Dr. Orion taraban from the psychacks youtube channel on your podcast. He specializes in human relationships and would disagree with you on a lot of your beliefs
Not as much as you think. I think it would be an interesting conversation though.
Hard time ahead
I swore off marriage in my 20s because of my experience with my parents
were they boomers?
I should have
@@FourthExileThey had to be; they were still married
@@FourthExile yep, of course
Other people failed at something so you're never going to try? That's incredibly pathetic.
Women line up for it. Well the ones ya likely to meet when going to gigs, playing in bands and out on the town drunk.
There is a difference between women and horrs.
You don’t have to be like this
Uhhh theres women who do this too. It’s not just dark triad men.
We have 51 species of mosquitoes where I live.
And then, it’s the end of an entire bloodline, before you even notice it.
Better than the cost of divorce
Lol i think the cost of not having any is far greater than having a hookup here and there
I always wanted a family, im the only male grandson, im a Romani Gypsy Jew ( my fam is Christian Catholic, the combination I am the Gypsy Jew parts dads dad and noms mom but Christians, this is only by blood, my dad's waz from our slavery as hus grandfather was being released from it was late 1880s, well all his immediate family waz and he luckily wasn't the village, so eastern Europe he came as 1893 was Chicago world Fair.. our slavery in ways that we were musicians assassins knew witchcraft curseaall divination that i hate as ive seen the results and concluded obviously Father is much more mighty,but Gypsies aren't big on murder and rape, it was long ago that if u killed an innocent u were killed. and imagine the same thing applies w rape yea the leaders of the families w a " king" of us would use an object to do to him what he did " do unto others as u would have them do to u, .. its not just do unto u but what would u have them do to u and they that did there was ab example made bur they like to fight in all out brawls ir bare knuckle boxing but none to the death,) anyway i was engaged to someone mayve 8 montha older for us to bw married at 16 and yea we liked each other got along we were able to and there's a chaperone, so no renting each other to devirgenize one another but our families had trouble qel ut didnt and alot of drama and then nothing was arranged again so i started to date i didn't w any girls but grown women and they ended being married and i gueaa because dead end relationships nothing tru blossomes and when it did i did the best i could and then divorced and i gueaa whoremonger adulterer. Then i meet the last who not broke what was left as i knew her pretty much all her the relationship was a lie as she was told to do this to hurt by her mom as her told her that my mother contributed to death of her dad but she didn't but her life was to be 30 days of his death but i came and just got the medics and i was learning emergency med and all kind of things someone who wanted to be a doctor would know, so she's still alive anyway this did me in so much w all facets u can think to hurr someone legally economically character assassination then after each thing fight to have me back but seduce me it was idk i don't even n care i lost my motivation to do anything nt gpa in college was 3.7 now under 2... Told my college i had drugs and yea thinga i didn't know o gad in me .. um truch gone license went to cook county a slewof compounding of retail thefts that like someone was telling them everything to put me there.. yea im 38 now and i don't have Inside me what i had before .. i never been so lonelt i don't kno engage anyone I like anymore im like way to honest too pleasing became dumber idk it sucks
jordan i have a serious question man. if god is real and is this god that can create the whole universe with a single word why does he let bad people do bad things to good people why does he not come down from out of the sky and smite those down that would harm his beloved mankind?
Don't you really have any remote idea of why that could be the case?
@@v1kt0u5 trying to understand why people believe in a fairytale story book
God didn't create a bunch of robots. He gave mankind free will to choose to do either right or wrong. Because of sin, this is a fallen world where bad things happen. I believe that God does intervene in some situations through divine providence. Sometimes tragedy brings people closer to faith. The devil also exists and there truly is a battle between good and evil.
He did IT Once 2000 years Ago and instead being the punisher He in his free will and salavation plan chose to rather die to save All inclusing Bad people. Since there IS still chance for Bad people to change they life better said to be sorry for All Bad they did and so be saved and earn eternal life with God. So He IS, his greatest Mercy with us.
@@sharoncochran8508 so you believe in manifestation? do you believe that because people believe there is a god and a devil that they manifested unknowingly the god and the devil dynamic? in return created all of the bad that happens ?
This legitimises restrictions on the right to vote. No one wants leaders or a social development based on the psychic characteristics you describe here belong to people who behave in line with reproduction with low investment. At the same time, we know that people make decisions based on what the individual thinks best serves his or her own situation. Consequently, the right to vote must be limited to adults with ten years' work experience outside government-owned enterprises who live and work with a partner with whom they have two or more children together.
Women's suffrage was a mistake
Yes, and veterans should get three votes.
@@3Mudbone1 At least.
❤❤❤❤
Hooking up makes you a narcissist?... Sounds like a huge leap. I get what he is trying to say but he is a doctor and should be using the terms more appropriately.
Treating other people in a negative way for your own short term gain is narcissistic behavior. No huge leap whatsoever, totally accurate. When both parties have informed consent about the situation, that's different.
Under 40$
I'm sure you will labe this as "self-oriented" but can you present a logical argument for why one SHOULD sublimate their particular tastes for what you consider the wholesomeness of society as a whole? Or leaving "should" and morality out of it, why is it more "mature" to sacrifice your wishes for the stability of society? Even if you accept that casual sex IS bad for society and society is better when people pair off into monogamous couples, I have never really noticed any connection between age and altruism. 🤷🏽♀️. We considet extremely young children more "selfish" than adults... No, adults are just as selfish, it's just more latent because most adults have learned that it isn't a great strategy to make everyone else in the world aware of the fact that you care more about yourself and your needs than everyone else. Children don't try to cover up their natural urges.
@@Bluesmoke4200 What tastes are you referring to? If your tastes involve another human it needs to sublimated inherently unless you plan to dominate them. Treat others as you want to be treated, would you want someone to assume their desire and wants trump yours? How is that productive, to assume you only have yourself to worry about? It’s a psychopathic perspective you seem to be arguing for.
I'd love to see a video titled "The cost of Marriage"
Sounds like capitalism in a nutshell, only care about yourself
Wow, interviewer talked for 5 minutes straight, the interviewee barely 3🙃
Right? 😂
I think it’s normal to go through a period of casual intimacy. I personally have always been in a relationship and never have had a one night stand but I’ve met loads of people who have had casual sexual interactions and then later in life finally settled down with someone for the long term. I think a benefit to having casual intimacy with people helps you identify more precisely what it is you’re looking for in a person. Because of your past intimate experiences you learn more about what you want and want you don’t want from a relationship.
I completely agree. I also dont understand how jordan makes the conclusion that engaging in short term casual relationships = the dark tetrad. I think its a bad thing to influence people to see those who engage in these relationships at any time for any reason to automatically = such horrible character traits. I think Jordan lacks nuance in this idea or maybe has a fundamental misunderstanding
I completely disagree. The more you sleep around the more chances of you monkey branching in a serious relationship.
I can't help but disagree. I understand many people believe they have to "try it out" and see what they like --nope, the consequences of practicing 'sex with the intention to break up when you're "done" or it gets boring' leads people to develop a chronic state of seeking out a new/better mate EVEN when they're taken or satisfied with the relationship. Humans are ruled by habits, sure some can break free or retrain their subconscious, but when you act out the habit of being with someone and then leaving you're not only fucking up your oxytocin receptors but also reinforcing the neural pathways that will dictate your future behavior. And then people wonder why they can't settle down after having slept with many or had countless relationships --and when they do it's usually due to desperate complacency, not satisfaction.
A great alternative is to only seek out extremely serious relationships, try premarital counseling and question each other's goals/morals/personality/preferences and plan to commit and truly commit. I'm aware this is rare and hard to come by but if you stick to it and go to places that most likely have people with these values, it's possible. "Till death do us part" literally means nothing these days cuz before you both practiced the act of being with other people and then eventually (or really soon after) leaving them, what do you expect your brain to do now, keep you together just cuz you said you would?? Once the entactogens (honeymoon phase chemicals) run out at 3-6 months you'll immediately begin to seek someone better or an excuse to get out.
This is a misunderstanding and conflating between casual sex and multiple dates.
From the origination stand point, casual sex comes from short term gratification with a short term goal: dopamine; while dating someone for a while - with sex - requires emotional investments and effort to get to know the person.
Long term practicing casual sex pushes the person toward negative emotions, and ultimately unable to establish trust in their dating partner. Or they simply just stop dating. Or starting to lower the value of marriage to validate their feelings of being single (yes, this trend is already there).
On the other hand, multiple dates (not on multiple partners at the same time) eventually lead to multiple breakups, that's bad news. However, through learning from experiences the person will find a compatible partner and will be able to build a long term relationship with them.
Not all casual sex chasers will be single forever, [some] of them will be able to break out and have a functional relationship. Not all long term relationships last forever, [some] of them will break and one of the partners fall into the sex chasing cycle. I don't condemn all casual sex chasers, I don't believe all relationships will last.
Regardless, to stay as a good person - for you and for your loved one - you must aim up, for long term investments. Only then, you'll find the responsibility, accountability and ultimately, meaning of life. If you aim for short term gratification, you'll also become an object for others to find gratification on you, and will lose your way in the process.
@@yusufhousini if you dont mind me asking, how did you come to have these beliefs?
I like Peterson, but I don’t like the other dude. Also I don’t like “The Wire” which seems to be a platform for the conservative right. It seems to be so that what Peterson has to say alligns a lot with the conservative right’s agenda. I took a membership with the wire to see the videos they offer of dr. Peterson. But the rest of what’s on the wire is just appaling. They come with “facts” which all fit in with their agenda. Their “facts” show how bad the left is and their “facts” support gun the current laws etc. It’s so ridiculous to see this as a Dutch citizen, living in a social democratic country where guns have been banned for god knows how long. I wonder why Peterson would lend his name to a platform like the Wire.
XD
Darwin works in mysterious ways.
Pretty sure he's not working at all, being a deceased mortal.
Congratulations on lowering from the "blind leading the blind" into the blind rummaging around a graveyard.
@@Nonplused Elite comment
I'll be a bit of a devil's advocate, I can see that people who reject short-term relationships out of principle are not really ready for a long-term relationship because they don't really know themselves. They live in a fantasy of what a relationship should look like, but they've never experienced a real relationship with a live person.
The implication you’re making is people that are open to short term relationships are ready for long term relationships? That’s not making sense to me. Though, sure. People that haven’t been in relationships idealize what they could/should be, naturally. It’s probably why they haven’t been in a relationship because the reality of modern people is extremely disappointing as far as good prospects for long term relationships.
Whenever men rail about the supposed evils of casual sex, it means they never had the option of it and resent everyone else who does.
Listen again to the tetrad, you fool. 😒
Bitter alpha male incel alert
Found the sociopath :-/
@@user-lt1jd1ye3v You mean the guy who's getting some.
"Supposed evils" you did NOT watch the video 🙏
Dude has completely gone off the rails.
Which rails do you speak of?
@@crazyjacobins305 comparing humans who engage in casual sex to mosquitos. Maybe he should research the bonobo
That sounds right
🌿🙏❤️🤲🙂🌿
The plagiarist Walsh speaks
I think Jordan is missing how casual sex works. Usually how it happens is a guy lowers his standards to have sex, so it stays casual because the guy doesn't' want to be exclusive with a woman below his standards. Women go for it because maybe the guys a little out of their league and they want him and this is a way to sort of get him. Its a game really where each sex is trying to get the absolute best partner they can get. Women end up in hoe_math's three categories: keepers sleepers and sweepers. I'm sure men fall into categories as well, but women haven't named those categories yet or I just don't know what those categories are yet. Boyfriend, Fucboi, Niceguy maybe? Or maybe Chad, Boyfriend, Niceguy?
I don't think he was (interested in) explaining how the casual sex chasers pick their sex partners. That's not the point. The point is what casual sex chasers will most likely BECOME when they participate in that "game" for a long time. There are multiple ways and reasons to choose casual sex partners, but output - what the chasers will be - are likely the same; and this is the point.
Peterson seems unable to break groups on his own. 5% a 10% men that hypergamy woman go to cannot be 100% narcist. He just talks around it without seeing he talking around it. There X% no narcist and Y% narcist in top 5% a 10% the hypergamy woman want.
The male biological strategy is to spread genes as far and wide as possible, theoretically. The female pays the higher price for reproduction, so by default is the one who 'sets the standard'. This concept is described as Mate Choice Theory. Modern women having access to birth control abortions and casual hookup culture upends the natural order.
He’s just highlighting how casual sex activities is moral and ethical deviance that has led to the decay of our society.
I think you’re 13 years old. You sound 13
There are plenty of longterm couples raising children in gay relationships (your friend Dave Rubin is an example,) who are not hedonistic. Calling all Pride people psychopaths, is not quite fair Jordan.
I met gay couple with religious beliefs and very, very conservative mindset.
Even the term "pride" is very problematic to say the least. Jordan has a video on that. Maybe you should Check it out.😊
Do not conflate the "Pride" movement with homosexuals generally. "Pride" are the flamboyant, left-wing, flag-waving miscreants _specifically_ and should not be construed to be representative of the general lesbian/gay/bisexual population in general, some of whom might take offense to being associated with "Pride".
Wow, my comment got eaten. Fuck the AI.
Do not conflate "pride" with the general population of non-heterosexual persons. It refers to a specific subset of leftwing authoritarians.
There are stats you can look up which shows it happens far more often than society at large.
So as a gay guy who does appreciate Matt and Jordan, Matt - with regard to the gay guy who doesn't divulge his HIV status, things are different in 2024. An HIV positive guy who has an undetectable viral load is not able to transmit HIV to others. This has been the case for about 11 years now.
Still, by not disclosing your status you are denying your partner vital information they need to make an informed decision about the relationship. Not cool
You clearly dont know Cichlids Dr.
The cost of casual relationship?
A few dollars in gas money and hotel bills. I can live with that.
I also dont understand how jordan makes the conclusion that engaging in short term casual relationships = the dark tetrad. I think its a bad thing to influence people to see those who engage in these relationships at any time for any reason to automatically = such horrible character traits. I think Jordan lacks nuance in this idea or maybe has a fundamental misunderstanding.
I think it would be benificial for Jordan to have Dr. Orion taraban from the youtube channel psychacks to share his perspective on jordan's ideas on relationships since he actually specializes in it and could push back on a lot og Jordans ideas and provide more researched and accurate perspectives with the backing of a lot more personal and professional experince in this subject
No, he's entirely correct. No amount of rationalizing poor behavior will improve the results, nor does fraudulent research alter reality.
You all make the mistake of assuming there’s nuance here. There’s not, our culture has overcomplicated and convoluted this topic to create confusion and no real sense of boundaries. When you sleep with someone you’re making a biological statement, flat out. “I’ll have your kids” or “you’ll have my kids”. That’s not a trivial thing. Now that we have birth control and condoms people have completely stolen the biological weight and reality of what intimacy is.
And now... 2 fellas who know casual relationships about as much as a fish knows about flying - will lecture you on casual relationships.
**SPOILER ALERT**
They don't like them.
News at 11.
Never heard of "Flying Fish"?
Do you have to be a mason to know that a block wall is stronger than a paper one.
Any "pack" animal that prioritizes self over family, group, or tribe, will inevitably cause a lessening of cohesive structure and ultimately the collapse of that society... human or otherwise!
Funny how many "socialists" are such hedonists. Apparently having learned nothing from true communal societies... bees, ants, and termites come to mind. 99 self sacrifice so that 1 might live to continue the community. Now with leftists, everyone wants to be "the one"!
I am 38 years old and have only had casual sexual partners my entire life. My parents are caring and loving. I don’t think I am an individual narcissist, I don’t care what people do. I just pull out.
I personally would rather see 2 involved and caring gay parents than 2 indifferent, uninvolved straight ones and I suspect the kids would think the same too. 😕
No.
No.
@@016Jackal let me guess. You like insanity. Except you don't even know what it looks because it's 'normal.' Normal will be your nemesis Jackal.
@@omnamahshivaya6299 no worries. Neither parent probably wanted you do you're safe from both sides. 😂
I'm mgtow now but historically leaned hard towards ONSs. I have a very high conscientiousness and a strong sense of empathy. I've had a wonderful life and I'm pretty sure most of the women I've been with would have me back.