One frustrating thing about adhd is that people simply won’t believe you if you tell them how it affects you. They’ll think you’re just giving an excuse
A magnet for bullies. First other person than me who I have heard saying that.. I look and sound normal in every way buy the bullies always find me no matter what school, job, or age I'm currently in.
This is so relatable for me. I'm almost burst into tears. I have a phd, so you can get whatever grade you want and never let any one to tell you otherwise. But social life is the hardest part. I wish you the best luck there.
Stuart ❤ When you are talking about the interactions you've had with most males, it feels to me that you are constantly reliving the trauma caused by your father's neglective parenting?. Sending you lots of love and healing light. I was abused and emotionally neglected by both my parents, its caused me to not find a authentic loving connection with anyone until recently and the reason for me finding it easier now is because I have worked through a 12 step programme in CODA anon. In my opinion ADHD, Codendency and PTSD are all interlinked.
My primary issue with ADHD in relationships is when I lose interaction with the person and I end up not contacting them ever again even if we were decent enough friends. Ive lost all my irl childhood friends because I couldn't bring myself to contact them again.
I relate to almost every word you said. I was diagnosed at 43 years old (now 45 years old) and literally everything about all of my failures and struggles in life fell into place. When we were young, nobody even knew what ADD even was! Anyway, thank you for being so raw and vulnerable about your struggles. It helps so many of us feel like we are not alone, and helps more than you know! Bless you!
I really relate to this. In primary school and at the beginning of high school, I was typecast as the weird, quite kid. Finding lasting friendships can be difficult. You are doing the right thing concentrating on yourself and I’m sure genuine friendships will come from that. All the best :)
I'm starting to suspect I have ADHD-IP (not diagnosed!) and strongly relate. I have always been socially detached and had trouble making new friends. I feel lonely, but also I am bored by many people, who seem to unthinkingly coast through life.
this is/was totally my life at 28. in the last 2-3 years i've stopped giving so much of a fuck about other people and their thoughts. I've been myself (weirdness included), and i've ended up attracting friends on the same wavelength - who probably, also have ADHD. I no longer pretend to be interested, or stick around with people who I don't gel with. it's so freeing. I hope since then you've been able to accept yourself more
I honestly cannot put into words how much I’ve related to what you’ve explained in your video. ADHD-PI, parents divorcing at a young age, being diagnosed in my early twenties and discovering the wonder that is medication and research and using it to attempt to further my career... the confusion and frustration when it comes to social scenarios and conversation (that and throw in some hearing issues and it just gets even more annoying) You’ve definitely gained a new subscriber, I’ll keep my eyes peeled for more uploads! All the best
Great video! thank you so much for sharing....I completely resonated with everything you shared. and you are gorgeous man. I see your light within. Much love.
Thank you for this deeply personal video. For the longest time I always thought I was in the wrong for who I am. I'm glad to know that there are people out there like you who have the exact same struggles as well as personality traits as me, and your videos help give us and others insight on how things can run for the better! I may be 4 years late watching this, but this video certainly feels like a near-future experience I'll have. I guess the struggles of having ADHD in modern-society and co. issues just comes with the territory, but working together is what keeps us afloat :) Cheers!
Bingo, cheers mate for having the guts to describe all the difficulties, i can totally relate to every word that you said. Funnily enough when i rarely meet someone else with Adhd i tend to get on with them really well. I used to be popular in school but only as the funny, naughty kid, i was expelled from two schools because i did not recieve the proper help, inevitably that life leaves yoiu with not many friends in the end. I am 33 years old now and see things more clearly and dont blame myself anymore which makes a big difference. Same as you i am a 33 year old, now going back to College because i am sick of how you get treated in dead end jobs, having Adhd, and most other people on my course are betwwen 17 and 21 years of age. I think people with Adhd have alot to offer the world, but maybe not in the traditional sense. Cheers bro
Exactly the same issue with me, I think that I appear as a likeable person in general, but for whatever reason I don't possess that special ingredient that makes people want to have lasting relationships with me. When I worked jobs, I was often ignored when chatting in a group setting and colleagues would avoid one on one conversations with me when possible. While I don't think they disliked me, they wouldn't invite me to their social events outside of work like they did with other employees. I have no idea why I get treated like this. I wish I could see myself through their eyes!
Work place friendships are not really what they seem to be. I've been in a similar situation and questioned why am I not part of their group. I tried to befriend a colleague and on our way home she told me some unpleasant things about a member of that group and I realized that I'd be better off by myself than with people who gossip about each other behind their backs. Real friendship is hard to find nowadays.
You are the only ADHD content creator I can relate to. I am also an introvert which makes me appear different from a stereotypical ADHDer. I’m not loud or hyper, I process everything internally. I am a walking contradiction (I can be both empathetic and disinterested). I either confuse or irritate people so I’ve learned to keep my distance. I did have friends growing up, perhaps, due to being a female, but I was rarely taken seriously, which didn’t occur to me until adulthood. I feel my personality is similar to yours and my overall experience has been the same in workplaces, relationships, etc. Even my best friend is a male haha. Anyway, I hope you don’t stop making videos as they’ve been very helpful. And I wish you best of luck on your journey!
Really connect so much to this video and what you’ve said. Only recently spoken with my therapist about getting a diagnosis for ADD/ADHD. I was also the weird, lonely kid that would play alone and not really integrate socially and like typical lad things. Although I’ve had a few friends over the years, I’ve never really had anyone who I feel I properly connect with. I also feel like such a burden on my family because my siblings are always looking out for me and I feel like it’s made them resentful towards me. I know how to empathise with other people, it’s just not being remotely interested in anything beyond the raw emotion. I zone out and forget conversations so easily. Stay strong man.
Trust me Stuart, every single word you said, every single one of it, you have no idea of how much relatable it is to me ! When I listen to yiu I feel you are talking about my life, I too has always been a loner, have had friends but none lasted as they've always been at a different frequency and never really matched with anyone to have long lasting close friendship. I'm 27, AIl my life I've wondered what is wrong with me, they day I got to know I have ADHD, I was watching Dr Thomas Brown's video on ADHD on Understood channel, I had tears in my eyes, I could recall every experience of my life, that moment I was like, it explains everything, it explains all my life, all of me ! Watching your videos it makes makes me feel so good that I'm not alone and we're together ! Have a great day and a happy, successful and healthy life !
I am so glad I came across your channel! I know this is an older video but everything you said in this video resonates with me: feeling different, feeling like you are living a lie, isolation, very emotional, lack of friends, wanting to settle down and mature, difficulties with school and work...I definitely teared up feeling for you as you talked about your past and also teared up connecting your experiences to my own. I live in the States and have been working from home since March due to COVID-19. It’s been stressful times for many and the lack of structure compiled with my procrastination led me to fall behind at work and to almost collapse from just utter exhaustion and to seek mental health supports. Eventually, it also led to having a lightbulb go on that I had undiagnosed inattentive ADD/ADHD. I have spoken to counselors and nurses and I am now in the process of being finally diagnosed by a psychiatrist in October. I know 1000% now why I am the way I am. Currently, I going through the grief cycle. Some days I cry, others I feel angry, and others grateful knowing that I have the answers to my lifelong problems and can now focus on going forward and living up to the potential I have always felt I was missing. Thank you again and I am adding you to the channels I follow related to ADHD/ADD. :)
You know, there were many things that resonated with me throughout this. I was never tested for ADHD, I was never tested for Autism, however the more I learn, the more that makes sense. I've certainly been the odd one out. I've certainly been looked down upon. I've been the person that gets looked at as if you've said something wrong.
Your description of your childhood is similar in many ways. I had no close friends from 6th to 9th grade. It was really miserable. Also I have very little interest in football or other sports. It really puts me at a social disadvantage when trying to make friends.
This is so incredible to hear because you are very masculine, handsome and yes, I've seen other videos of you where you added some really funny bits that cracked me. Funny how our self-evaluation can be so different from what others really think of us, no? I really find it hard to believe what you are saying about yourself.. like I even doubt if it is even true because you are a super charming and interesting person!
😂 thanks for this bruv! It’s not just me then. 28 and felt like there’s not nearly enough time in the day to chat to people and be the best in life. Good luck with your degree bro!
I found the same with people and socializing. I see others connecting and wonder why I'm not included? I spend most time on my own and luckily have my dogs for company. 🙃
How you describe yourself is like how I’d describe myself. At last, I’ve found my people but we’d never hang out because most times I end up just being alone and I could never understand myself. I can not tolerate bullcrap either. I get accused of not engaging with people but they seem all shallow to me. They have no depth which I know is not true but they don’t open up like I’d do. Maybe I was over sharing.?
Hi Stuart, Thanks a lot for doing what you do. I think you are me, living somewhere else ☺️. I am 30 yr old. My parents seperated when I was 11. Even my father was a beta guy a covert narcissist type, who took no interest in me or my brother. I was raised by my mom. I am still picked on by bullies. Be it at the office or in my own family. Like you, I too tolerate a lot. I am kind of feminine in a lot of ways (even though I have many masculine interests too) and I feel kind of intimidated by guys in general. The list could go on for each and every word you said resonate with me. Atleast we are not incapable of feeling happiness. Lets try to be more happy and satisfied with life, as much as we can.. cheers.. ❤️
Exactly the same for me, but for some, it's the opposite. Female, (Bad) emotional dysregulation, more male friends than female, not into shopping, make-up, parties, drinking, fashion and clothes, never really fitting in (only with other people with ADHD or autism and 90% of them or smth were boys). Life really is chaotic and crazy with ADHD. And at first, I was glad to have such an adventurous life (in terms of being different), but nowadays, with 27, it's biting me in the butt since I'm still so different and stuck with feeling like a kid etc. Hoping to start meds again this year or smth after 17 years without them and hopefully finding the right fit and finally being able to take care of myself and charge of my life. Omg, the bully stuff is true for my whole family, btw. We ALL went through that. It was always one asshole (and not rarely, 10 other assholes chimed in etc.) Gave me and my brother (aside from my other brother) bad social anxiety and confidence issues etc. Struggling with it since 10 years now. Therapy etc. did nothing nor confrontation. I might need ADHD meds for it to get better D: And oof, I knew I was different from a young age also, my mom as well. And people always wanted me to push to others and those hated me, so I had to and wanted to sit alone. I'm ADHD-C or HI, btw x-x
Your words sting and pierce my soul and ring louder than my own thoughts, knowing I've experienced every one of these things and never realizing all this time that they were symptoms of ADD or ADHD. I completely believe in your drive and efforts to help others and help them navigate this difficult world through education. I wonder, do you have siblings that also experience the same things? You have come so far and I can only imagine what you go through to maintain and grow. Every post you make engages me and I can see how this video helped you not only share your thoughts and feelings, but to provide a platform for others and allow you an outlet. To know we are not alone and we have an opportunity to embrace what we have undergone and grow from it. I so agree with stages. I used to tell people it is hard because in our lives we have all gone through various stages and some of us are trying to make our lives work together but we just are not at the same stage...like a platform bot completely level and you're on wheels and that slight incline or decline you would need to take to be on their level or in their stage may not help you. Congratulation on graduation and all of your hardwork. I am currently working through my BEd myself and can imagine the challenges you've faced. I wonder if late start to attend college is common in ADD or ADHD? I've experienced the same, I only started college 3 years ago. Thank you for what you have established. You have made such a tremendous impact.
Im a bit late to finding your channel but I've only recently started to reach out to specialists for a diagnosis and testing, I just went my whole life, I'm 29 now, thinking I just, sucked at life and that I was just always the sore thumb in the room because that's who I am to come to realize there's an entire community out there that relates to me in everyway.. frustrating my symptoms weren't ever noticed in school but I'm beyond excited to what comes next.
I was diagnosed with being over active, this was about 1986-ish, the result was that I had to go to therapy and couldn't eat certain e numbers This video has related to me so much, and your experiences sound very similar to me, it's almost uncanny. I think i'll be going to the doctors for another diagnosis as it's been noticed by old managers and peers that i can 'zone out'; and also my concentration and ability to focus is terrible. And I am the king of procrastination. I'm 37 today, and although I realised a good while ago that something is a little different about me, it's only now that I'm looking to do something about it...still, better late than never! You're doing a good job with these vids, keep 'em coming!
It's wonderful that you have the strength to talk about all of this publicly. More power to you. Here's my two cents, try engaging in charitable works around you e.g. donating 10% of your salary to someone who needs it more than you. This will give you so much peace of mind. Good luck!
So nice to hear from you again. You have every possibility to be a superstar in your life, but yes it can be hard, and well I'm still struggling but just have to keep going. When it comes to "work bullies" I know the feeling, but just as any bullies it comes down to the extreme insecurity of the bully. They sense the sensitivity in someone and shoot at the target, throw up their own pain on others. Plus jealousy, you're gorgeous and come off as a very nice and pleasant person, it triggers people. Also I think when you meet someone interesting you should tell them you might "zone out" and it doesn't mean you're not interested in their stories but just unable to concentrate sometimes.
Man its sad but also amazing at the same time..... I can completely relate to what you're saying. My dad left when I was 5. Raised by my mom and grew up with a sister. Never really felt close to anybody. Same thing with being a loner from a young boy in school and not ever having many friends. Feeling like you have nothing but acquaintances. Feeling like people or even myself can't relate. Not being the stereotypical male into sports ..... its crazy how much your story hits home to my own.... just wow 😳
I relate so much to what you say it’s scary. It’s definitely a lonely existence when normal people can’t relate. I have very limited contact with people. 10:28 same - exact same experiences. I always knew I was different- . Thanks for video so that at least we know we aren’t completely alone on this planet.
Thanks, I appreciated this video a lot. I have just barely put two and two together about me potentially having ADHD. Which is weird since it seems like my whole family struggles with it to varying degrees. Social stuff has always been an anathema to me. I mean I do ok with small talk but I think that ADHD has really fucked over my ability to properly relate with other people. For the longest time I thought that it was normal because my whole family is the same way. But recently things have really been weighing on me so I have started to look for help. It is funny though, a lot of the tips and tricks that I have seen on youtube from great content creators like yourself I have already put into practice in some form. I have a meeting with a therapist for this coming week to find out more. If meds are an option, I hope that they help me more. I am also thinking about going back to school to get my masters. I am hoping the imposter syndrome will stop with the new way that I am going to be structuring my life. But, yeah... wanting to settle down with a guy and just have a "normal" life is all that I have ever wanted, sad how it seems like I have had to work so hard just to have such a simple life.
I really love your energy and am binging ur channel as I’m in kinda a similar place... only 21 but also not a lot of friends lol have so much difficulty focusing getting stuff done but it’s rly all I want at the moment... ur motivating me!!! Thank u so much!!!
It's so weird learning about ADHD affects so many different aspects of life, I always wondered my self why I always got along better with females than males, never did the blokey stuff. Thought it was just me.
Hi I’m binging your videos. I definitely relate to not having long standing friends and it’s getting harder to make friends the older I get. I’m definitely a lot of selective now
I don't feel that you appear as normal, but rather extra ordinary! 😇 Would love for you to reflect on this video and how far you've come since you filmed this ^^🌸
Same feelings today with my coworkers… i used to feel shame if i didnt “ entertain” Others like if its my responsibility … to make them feel better nowadays its the bare minimum effort to try to talk them , but I realized i wont get anywhere in life yet i dont want to force it so it feels that im putting too much into it sort of conundrum
I appreciate your honesty. You have much knowledge and soul & know this ,”you are an asset / a commodity to anyone’s life. I think you are young and have the rest of your thirties to get it all sorted. You will have that special other in your life , but now may not be the exact time. I feel you . I recall going through what you are going through. But I’m here to tell you , all your woes , “they too shall pass!”
DiTTo DaT! I ToTaLLy understand what your saying and can relate to "Feeling Lonely"🙄 HoWeVeR, after actions related to my ADD aused many of my friends to "back away from me"..I FiNaLLy came to the RealiZaTioN...🤔Im mY oWn BesT friend!" It's feels preTTy good knowing, I'm the "OnLy oNe" who Understands and accepts mE.. "just the way I aM!"😏😉
Great upload! I fully understood everything you said and could relate. Have you ever tried Vyvanse, also called Elvanse? It is said to be even better for those with ADD in particular.
I relate to you too Stuart ! I am a gay person plus ADHD :) ! Can you imagine Zero social life , plus I don’t relate to the stereotype of Gay people! I like sports and machismo life style ! But it’s always Alone and be myself unfortunately.
Hi, I’ve just commented for a first time in one of your more recent uploads. I felt so deeply when you said about feeling lonely. I feel the same way often. Perhaps you’d consider doing a meet up with your subscribers? We all seem to completely relate to your words. I’m in Dorset in the Uk and I’d be up for it 🙂 Also you mentioned you try to look online for friendships, have you tried www.meetup.com? Select the area you live and it has lots of groups you’d never even thought of to tag along to. Some good tips for conversations I’ve come across on this channel “charisma on command” but like you I enjoy more deep philosophical conversations than shallow small Talk/gossip. Anyway I hope since you’ve made this video you feel less lonely ! X
It would be awesome to do that! Yeah I have looked on meet up before but I was apprehensive about it because there's not much near me that has activities I'm actually interested in doing 🤷♂️ I keep myself much more occupied these days thankfully but it still does get lonely.
Get a pet so many pros and helps improve mental health. I'm 33 and the older i get the less friends i have lol i can't tolerate alot of people that sounds mean but what i mean is fake people, gossipers etc i don't have the time for it. I lost alot of so called friends when i was diagnosed with fibromyalgia 5yrs ago n i lost all but 1 friend lol just shows u who really cares. If only i lived in wales 🤔😂 😜💕
We are the strugglers , everyday is a battle, today i almost got in jail for screwing a transaction cost 25000000 million because i drifted while doing it , i lost all my credibility and my reputation went downhill as a teller in the best bank of my city , i lost all my bonuses that i should get at the end of the year maybe 5-6 salary with other bonuses, why my boss ask … i told him i wasn’t paying attention “ hope that thought worth 25 millions because you might go to prison “ i just got into this job 5 months ago i could learn but not so smoothly because difficulty in maths , i had the feeling that once i would get on top of it i would lose focus and it damn did , because im fucking impulsive when i do lose interest and feelings for the things i do and this fucking job require such numbness and dead feelings and persistence of a monk god
Dude.... I think you need to try Church. A modern church like Hillsong or the like. These are places where you can meet people who are not into all that crap that you mentioned. They accept people of any age and do their upmost to create meaningful community in small groups that share common interest during the week and want to do life together. Try it at least once and see what it's like. Might even find a good girl there too as these types are way more mature than the average.
I have ADHD too i got crippling depressed once anxiety drug use and finally i got in a phocosis at the end Here's the thing i know it can get hard actually life gets hard but it sounds like you made the video feeling shity cus that type of mind set can eather come from someone who's feeling shity or is going to feel shity you said memories build you which is true but it doesn't have to build u in a bad way shity things build u but only if you have the right mind set u have more female frindes not cus ur femniane maybe cus u know how to talk to them growing up with ur mom dosent necessarily make u femniane but it makes u understand Never lable your self in a way especially shity way and what happened before happened before if anything it should build u
One frustrating thing about adhd is that people simply won’t believe you if you tell them how it affects you. They’ll think you’re just giving an excuse
Words can't describe how much this resonates with me! Every word.
Same:-)
same...
Same!
Same!
Same.
A magnet for bullies. First other person than me who I have heard saying that.. I look and sound normal in every way buy the bullies always find me no matter what school, job, or age I'm currently in.
Man it’s so confident to talk so openly about your experiences and struggles and making ist accessible to literally the whole world! 😃
This is so relatable for me. I'm almost burst into tears. I have a phd, so you can get whatever grade you want and never let any one to tell you otherwise. But social life is the hardest part. I wish you the best luck there.
Stuart ❤ When you are talking about the interactions you've had with most males, it feels to me that you are constantly reliving the trauma caused by your father's neglective parenting?. Sending you lots of love and healing light.
I was abused and emotionally neglected by both my parents, its caused me to not find a authentic loving connection with anyone until recently and the reason for me finding it easier now is because I have worked through a 12 step programme in CODA anon.
In my opinion ADHD, Codendency and PTSD are all interlinked.
yes. i think you might be right.
the crappy childhood fairy on youtube rexplains this really well.
My primary issue with ADHD in relationships is when I lose interaction with the person and I end up not contacting them ever again even if we were decent enough friends. Ive lost all my irl childhood friends because I couldn't bring myself to contact them again.
I relate to almost every word you said. I was diagnosed at 43 years old (now 45 years old) and literally everything about all of my failures and struggles in life fell into place.
When we were young, nobody even knew what ADD even was! Anyway, thank you for being so raw and vulnerable about your struggles. It helps so many of us feel like we are not alone, and helps more than you know! Bless you!
I really relate to this. In primary school and at the beginning of high school, I was typecast as the weird, quite kid. Finding lasting friendships can be difficult. You are doing the right thing concentrating on yourself and I’m sure genuine friendships will come from that. All the best :)
I'm starting to suspect I have ADHD-IP (not diagnosed!) and strongly relate. I have always been socially detached and had trouble making new friends. I feel lonely, but also I am bored by many people, who seem to unthinkingly coast through life.
this is/was totally my life at 28. in the last 2-3 years i've stopped giving so much of a fuck about other people and their thoughts. I've been myself (weirdness included), and i've ended up attracting friends on the same wavelength - who probably, also have ADHD. I no longer pretend to be interested, or stick around with people who I don't gel with. it's so freeing. I hope since then you've been able to accept yourself more
Man you just told about my entire life! Can't begin to describe my loneliness..
OMG, I am crying now. You just described my life. So sad we had to grow up like this.
I know this video is 2 years old, but thank you so much for sharing. ❤️
I honestly cannot put into words how much I’ve related to what you’ve explained in your video. ADHD-PI, parents divorcing at a young age, being diagnosed in my early twenties and discovering the wonder that is medication and research and using it to attempt to further my career... the confusion and frustration when it comes to social scenarios and conversation (that and throw in some hearing issues and it just gets even more annoying)
You’ve definitely gained a new subscriber, I’ll keep my eyes peeled for more uploads!
All the best
It destroyed my education because of lack of focus. However I’m much more aware of current events because I can hyper focus.
Great video! thank you so much for sharing....I completely resonated with everything you shared. and you are gorgeous man. I see your light within. Much love.
Thank you for this deeply personal video. For the longest time I always thought I was in the wrong for who I am.
I'm glad to know that there are people out there like you who have the exact same struggles as well as personality traits as me, and your videos help give us and others insight on how things can run for the better!
I may be 4 years late watching this, but this video certainly feels like a near-future experience I'll have.
I guess the struggles of having ADHD in modern-society and co. issues just comes with the territory, but working together is what keeps us afloat :)
Cheers!
Hit the nail on the head mate. My life is a mirror image of what you just said.
Nothing is wrong with you
Bingo, cheers mate for having the guts to describe all the difficulties, i can totally relate to every word that you said. Funnily enough when i rarely meet someone else with Adhd i tend to get on with them really well. I used to be popular in school but only as the funny, naughty kid, i was expelled from two schools because i did not recieve the proper help, inevitably that life leaves yoiu with not many friends in the end. I am 33 years old now and see things more clearly and dont blame myself anymore which makes a big difference. Same as you i am a 33 year old, now going back to College because i am sick of how you get treated in dead end jobs, having Adhd, and most other people on my course are betwwen 17 and 21 years of age. I think people with Adhd have alot to offer the world, but maybe not in the traditional sense. Cheers bro
Exactly the same issue with me, I think that I appear as a likeable person in general, but for whatever reason I don't possess that special ingredient that makes people want to have lasting relationships with me.
When I worked jobs, I was often ignored when chatting in a group setting and colleagues would avoid one on one conversations with me when possible. While I don't think they disliked me, they wouldn't invite me to their social events outside of work like they did with other employees. I have no idea why I get treated like this. I wish I could see myself through their eyes!
Work place friendships are not really what they seem to be. I've been in a similar situation and questioned why am I not part of their group. I tried to befriend a colleague and on our way home she told me some unpleasant things about a member of that group and I realized that I'd be better off by myself than with people who gossip about each other behind their backs. Real friendship is hard to find nowadays.
My boyfriend & I REALLY relate to this and we just want to say thank you! We thought we were the only ones.
You are the only ADHD content creator I can relate to. I am also an introvert which makes me appear different from a stereotypical ADHDer. I’m not loud or hyper, I process everything internally. I am a walking contradiction (I can be both empathetic and disinterested). I either confuse or irritate people so I’ve learned to keep my distance. I did have friends growing up, perhaps, due to being a female, but I was rarely taken seriously, which didn’t occur to me until adulthood. I feel my personality is similar to yours and my overall experience has been the same in workplaces, relationships, etc. Even my best friend is a male haha.
Anyway, I hope you don’t stop making videos as they’ve been very helpful. And I wish you best of luck on your journey!
Really connect so much to this video and what you’ve said. Only recently spoken with my therapist about getting a diagnosis for ADD/ADHD. I was also the weird, lonely kid that would play alone and not really integrate socially and like typical lad things. Although I’ve had a few friends over the years, I’ve never really had anyone who I feel I properly connect with. I also feel like such a burden on my family because my siblings are always looking out for me and I feel like it’s made them resentful towards me. I know how to empathise with other people, it’s just not being remotely interested in anything beyond the raw emotion. I zone out and forget conversations so easily. Stay strong man.
the vulnerability in this is unparalleled .i surely can relate . never seem to fit into groups
Trust me Stuart, every single word you said, every single one of it, you have no idea of how much relatable it is to me ! When I listen to yiu I feel you are talking about my life, I too has always been a loner, have had friends but none lasted as they've always been at a different frequency and never really matched with anyone to have long lasting close friendship.
I'm 27, AIl my life I've wondered what is wrong with me, they day I got to know I have ADHD, I was watching Dr Thomas Brown's video on ADHD on Understood channel, I had tears in my eyes, I could recall every experience of my life, that moment I was like, it explains everything, it explains all my life, all of me !
Watching your videos it makes makes me feel so good that I'm not alone and we're together !
Have a great day and a happy, successful and healthy life !
I am so glad I came across your channel! I know this is an older video but everything you said in this video resonates with me: feeling different, feeling like you are living a lie, isolation, very emotional, lack of friends, wanting to settle down and mature, difficulties with school and work...I definitely teared up feeling for you as you talked about your past and also teared up connecting your experiences to my own. I live in the States and have been working from home since March due to COVID-19. It’s been stressful times for many and the lack of structure compiled with my procrastination led me to fall behind at work and to almost collapse from just utter exhaustion and to seek mental health supports. Eventually, it also led to having a lightbulb go on that I had undiagnosed inattentive ADD/ADHD. I have spoken to counselors and nurses and I am now in the process of being finally diagnosed by a psychiatrist in October. I know 1000% now why I am the way I am. Currently, I going through the grief cycle. Some days I cry, others I feel angry, and others grateful knowing that I have the answers to my lifelong problems and can now focus on going forward and living up to the potential I have always felt I was missing. Thank you again and I am adding you to the channels I follow related to ADHD/ADD. :)
You know, there were many things that resonated with me throughout this. I was never tested for ADHD, I was never tested for Autism, however the more I learn, the more that makes sense.
I've certainly been the odd one out. I've certainly been looked down upon. I've been the person that gets looked at as if you've said something wrong.
Your description of your childhood is similar in many ways. I had no close friends from 6th to 9th grade. It was really miserable. Also I have very little interest in football or other sports. It really puts me at a social disadvantage when trying to make friends.
:) you are so brave to speak your feelings out. Really
This is so incredible to hear because you are very masculine, handsome and yes, I've seen other videos of you where you added some really funny bits that cracked me. Funny how our self-evaluation can be so different from what others really think of us, no? I really find it hard to believe what you are saying about yourself.. like I even doubt if it is even true because you are a super charming and interesting person!
I resonated with everything you said! I'm so happy I'm not alone!!
I am also quite feminine I was raised by a single mother and 2 sisters I relate to this heavily
😂 thanks for this bruv! It’s not just me then. 28 and felt like there’s not nearly enough time in the day to chat to people and be the best in life. Good luck with your degree bro!
I found the same with people and socializing. I see others connecting and wonder why I'm not included? I spend most time on my own and luckily have my dogs for company. 🙃
How you describe yourself is like how I’d describe myself. At last, I’ve found my people but we’d never hang out because most times I end up just being alone and I could never understand myself. I can not tolerate bullcrap either. I get accused of not engaging with people but they seem all shallow to me. They have no depth which I know is not true but they don’t open up like I’d do. Maybe I was over sharing.?
Hi Stuart,
Thanks a lot for doing what you do.
I think you are me, living somewhere else ☺️.
I am 30 yr old. My parents seperated when I was 11. Even my father was a beta guy a covert narcissist type, who took no interest in me or my brother. I was raised by my mom.
I am still picked on by bullies. Be it at the office or in my own family. Like you, I too tolerate a lot.
I am kind of feminine in a lot of ways (even though I have many masculine interests too) and I feel kind of intimidated by guys in general.
The list could go on for each and every word you said resonate with me.
Atleast we are not incapable of feeling happiness. Lets try to be more happy and satisfied with life, as much as we can.. cheers.. ❤️
I get that !💖
I stay to myself mostly.
It's sometimes lonely
Exactly the same for me, but for some, it's the opposite. Female, (Bad) emotional dysregulation, more male friends than female, not into shopping, make-up, parties, drinking, fashion and clothes, never really fitting in (only with other people with ADHD or autism and 90% of them or smth were boys). Life really is chaotic and crazy with ADHD. And at first, I was glad to have such an adventurous life (in terms of being different), but nowadays, with 27, it's biting me in the butt since I'm still so different and stuck with feeling like a kid etc. Hoping to start meds again this year or smth after 17 years without them and hopefully finding the right fit and finally being able to take care of myself and charge of my life.
Omg, the bully stuff is true for my whole family, btw. We ALL went through that. It was always one asshole (and not rarely, 10 other assholes chimed in etc.) Gave me and my brother (aside from my other brother) bad social anxiety and confidence issues etc. Struggling with it since 10 years now. Therapy etc. did nothing nor confrontation. I might need ADHD meds for it to get better D:
And oof, I knew I was different from a young age also, my mom as well. And people always wanted me to push to others and those hated me, so I had to and wanted to sit alone. I'm ADHD-C or HI, btw x-x
Your words sting and pierce my soul and ring louder than my own thoughts, knowing I've experienced every one of these things and never realizing all this time that they were symptoms of ADD or ADHD. I completely believe in your drive and efforts to help others and help them navigate this difficult world through education.
I wonder, do you have siblings that also experience the same things? You have come so far and I can only imagine what you go through to maintain and grow.
Every post you make engages me and I can see how this video helped you not only share your thoughts and feelings, but to provide a platform for others and allow you an outlet.
To know we are not alone and we have an opportunity to embrace what we have undergone and grow from it.
I so agree with stages. I used to tell people it is hard because in our lives we have all gone through various stages and some of us are trying to make our lives work together but we just are not at the same stage...like a platform bot completely level and you're on wheels and that slight incline or decline you would need to take to be on their level or in their stage may not help you.
Congratulation on graduation and all of your hardwork. I am currently working through my BEd myself and can imagine the challenges you've faced. I wonder if late start to attend college is common in ADD or ADHD? I've experienced the same, I only started college 3 years ago.
Thank you for what you have established. You have made such a tremendous impact.
Thanks! Only child here and yes, it's a hell of a journey but I love doing this.
My passion is photography too!
I relate to everything you say! Love your videos!
Never related to someone so much! I have my first ADHD assessment tomorrow
Im a bit late to finding your channel but I've only recently started to reach out to specialists for a diagnosis and testing, I just went my whole life, I'm 29 now, thinking I just, sucked at life and that I was just always the sore thumb in the room because that's who I am to come to realize there's an entire community out there that relates to me in everyway.. frustrating my symptoms weren't ever noticed in school but I'm beyond excited to what comes next.
I was diagnosed with being over active, this was about 1986-ish, the result was that I had to go to therapy and couldn't eat certain e numbers
This video has related to me so much, and your experiences sound very similar to me, it's almost uncanny.
I think i'll be going to the doctors for another diagnosis as it's been noticed by old managers and peers that i can 'zone out'; and also my concentration and ability to focus is terrible. And I am the king of procrastination.
I'm 37 today, and although I realised a good while ago that something is a little different about me, it's only now that I'm looking to do something about it...still, better late than never!
You're doing a good job with these vids, keep 'em coming!
It's wonderful that you have the strength to talk about all of this publicly. More power to you. Here's my two cents, try engaging in charitable works around you e.g. donating 10% of your salary to someone who needs it more than you. This will give you so much peace of mind. Good luck!
So nice to hear from you again. You have every possibility to be a superstar in your life, but yes it can be hard, and well I'm still struggling but just have to keep going. When it comes to "work bullies" I know the feeling, but just as any bullies it comes down to the extreme insecurity of the bully. They sense the sensitivity in someone and shoot at the target, throw up their own pain on others. Plus jealousy, you're gorgeous and come off as a very nice and pleasant person, it triggers people. Also I think when you meet someone interesting you should tell them you might "zone out" and it doesn't mean you're not interested in their stories but just unable to concentrate sometimes.
Man its sad but also amazing at the same time..... I can completely relate to what you're saying. My dad left when I was 5. Raised by my mom and grew up with a sister. Never really felt close to anybody. Same thing with being a loner from a young boy in school and not ever having many friends. Feeling like you have nothing but acquaintances. Feeling like people or even myself can't relate. Not being the stereotypical male into sports ..... its crazy how much your story hits home to my own.... just wow 😳
Thanks for sharing, I can relate to this video very much.
I identify but much of the time I prefer being along except for a relationship.
I relate so much to what you say it’s scary. It’s definitely a lonely existence when normal people can’t relate. I have very limited contact with people. 10:28 same - exact same experiences. I always knew I was different- . Thanks for video so that at least we know we aren’t completely alone on this planet.
Thanks!
Mate... I cannot believe the accuracy of this video. Currently going through your whole channel hoping something can help 🙏🙏
Try the meet up for groups in your area.
Thanks, I appreciated this video a lot. I have just barely put two and two together about me potentially having ADHD. Which is weird since it seems like my whole family struggles with it to varying degrees. Social stuff has always been an anathema to me. I mean I do ok with small talk but I think that ADHD has really fucked over my ability to properly relate with other people. For the longest time I thought that it was normal because my whole family is the same way. But recently things have really been weighing on me so I have started to look for help. It is funny though, a lot of the tips and tricks that I have seen on youtube from great content creators like yourself I have already put into practice in some form. I have a meeting with a therapist for this coming week to find out more. If meds are an option, I hope that they help me more. I am also thinking about going back to school to get my masters. I am hoping the imposter syndrome will stop with the new way that I am going to be structuring my life. But, yeah... wanting to settle down with a guy and just have a "normal" life is all that I have ever wanted, sad how it seems like I have had to work so hard just to have such a simple life.
I relate to what you go through and you encouraged me to finally get a adhd evaluation. I get the evaluation tomorrow.
I really love your energy and am binging ur channel as I’m in kinda a similar place... only 21 but also not a lot of friends lol have so much difficulty focusing getting stuff done but it’s rly all I want at the moment... ur motivating me!!! Thank u so much!!!
That’s me still at 76. I got diagnosed at 70 but always knew it. I’m a total loner .
It's so weird learning about ADHD affects so many different aspects of life, I always wondered my self why I always got along better with females than males, never did the blokey stuff. Thought it was just me.
Hi I’m binging your videos. I definitely relate to not having long standing friends and it’s getting harder to make friends the older I get. I’m definitely a lot of selective now
I don't feel that you appear as normal, but rather extra ordinary! 😇
Would love for you to reflect on this video and how far you've come since you filmed this ^^🌸
Same feelings today with my coworkers… i used to feel shame if i didnt “ entertain”
Others like if its my responsibility … to make them feel better nowadays its the bare minimum effort to try to talk them , but I realized i wont get anywhere in life yet i dont want to force it so it feels that im putting too much into it sort of conundrum
I feel you.
I appreciate your honesty. You have much knowledge and soul & know this ,”you are an asset / a commodity to anyone’s life. I think you are young and have the rest of your thirties to get it all sorted. You will have that special other in your life , but now may not be the exact time. I feel you . I recall going through what you are going through. But I’m here to tell you , all your woes , “they too shall pass!”
DiTTo DaT! I ToTaLLy understand what your saying and can relate to "Feeling Lonely"🙄 HoWeVeR, after actions related to my ADD aused many of my friends to "back away from me"..I FiNaLLy came to the RealiZaTioN...🤔Im mY oWn BesT friend!"
It's feels preTTy good knowing, I'm the "OnLy oNe" who Understands and accepts mE..
"just the way I aM!"😏😉
New subscriber her! I feel every word you said in this video
Can relate a lot
Being the butt of the joke, wth is that about?
Happens universally in my life. Across the board, no exceptions
Thank you
Great upload! I fully understood everything you said and could relate. Have you ever tried Vyvanse, also called Elvanse? It is said to be even better for those with ADD in particular.
I can totally relate. Also your beard is nice
You and boyfriend would be amazing friends. He’s not into sports and it’s hard for him to connect with good people.
thanks for doing this
I relate to you too Stuart ! I am a gay person plus ADHD :) ! Can you imagine Zero social life , plus I don’t relate to the stereotype of Gay people! I like sports and machismo life style ! But it’s always Alone and be myself unfortunately.
3:20 Me speaking to my mirror, before I go outside.
❤
I discern a predominantly Masculine thought process in your reasoning.
Hi, I’ve just commented for a first time in one of your more recent uploads. I felt so deeply when you said about feeling lonely. I feel the same way often. Perhaps you’d consider doing a meet up with your subscribers? We all seem to completely relate to your words. I’m in Dorset in the Uk and I’d be up for it 🙂 Also you mentioned you try to look online for friendships, have you tried www.meetup.com? Select the area you live and it has lots of groups you’d never even thought of to tag along to. Some good tips for conversations I’ve come across on this channel “charisma on command” but like you I enjoy more deep philosophical conversations than shallow small Talk/gossip. Anyway I hope since you’ve made this video you feel less lonely ! X
It would be awesome to do that! Yeah I have looked on meet up before but I was apprehensive about it because there's not much near me that has activities I'm actually interested in doing 🤷♂️ I keep myself much more occupied these days thankfully but it still does get lonely.
Your deep and sensitive
Do you know ADHDer who fit in or learned to fit in ?
What kind of books did help you ?
Get a pet so many pros and helps improve mental health. I'm 33 and the older i get the less friends i have lol i can't tolerate alot of people that sounds mean but what i mean is fake people, gossipers etc i don't have the time for it. I lost alot of so called friends when i was diagnosed with fibromyalgia 5yrs ago n i lost all but 1 friend lol just shows u who really cares. If only i lived in wales 🤔😂 😜💕
it's literally me
We are the strugglers , everyday is a battle, today i almost got in jail for screwing a transaction cost 25000000 million because i drifted while doing it , i lost all my credibility and my reputation went downhill as a teller in the best bank of my city , i lost all my bonuses that i should get at the end of the year maybe 5-6 salary with other bonuses, why my boss ask … i told him i wasn’t paying attention “ hope that thought worth 25 millions because you might go to prison “ i just got into this job 5 months ago i could learn but not so smoothly because difficulty in maths , i had the feeling that once i would get on top of it i would lose focus and it damn did , because im fucking impulsive when i do lose interest and feelings for the things i do and this fucking job require such numbness and dead feelings and persistence of a monk god
Dude.... I think you need to try Church. A modern church like Hillsong or the like. These are places where you can meet people who are not into all that crap that you mentioned. They accept people of any age and do their upmost to create meaningful community in small groups that share common interest during the week and want to do life together. Try it at least once and see what it's like. Might even find a good girl there too as these types are way more mature than the average.
Frankly, I'm not going to do that if I don't believe in a god.
Christ, did we have the same childhoods?
I have ADHD too i got crippling depressed once anxiety drug use and finally i got in a phocosis at the end
Here's the thing i know it can get hard actually life gets hard but it sounds like you made the video feeling shity cus that type of mind set can eather come from someone who's feeling shity or is going to feel shity you said memories build you which is true but it doesn't have to build u in a bad way shity things build u but only if you have the right mind set u have more female frindes not cus ur femniane maybe cus u know how to talk to them growing up with ur mom dosent necessarily make u femniane but it makes u understand
Never lable your self in a way especially shity way and what happened before happened before if anything it should build u
😘💙🥰
No content on your channel? You made another one? I feel the same way you do in respect of lack of interest and sociability
You can be my friend i have autistic ocd . Aww you're so amazing
I like your i wish your my friend. X so cute you're or
you have more female friends because you are intelligent.
It's as if I'm looking in the mirror