I read this book, watched all of the videos, and each time I think I’m ok, something triggers me. I even met a nice guy and went on a couple dates, but I feel stuck. I blocked my ex on FB bc he kept telling me how much he loves me. Then I unblocked him. It’s been 5 months. How long will it take for me to heal And move on?
I broke into tears when you brought up that you invested so much time and energy into him. I made many sacrifices and was always there for him, and hurts when they do you wrong. Had nothing but genuine love for him
I went thru same thing last year and he came back he basically cheated and came back and still continues to hide his relationship till i exposed him to his gf he cheated me on ... well she is still with him. But what he put me thru has caused me to hate him so much
Girl it HAPPENS TO ALL GOOD WOMEN... LIVE AND LEARN.... I MARRIED A NARRSISTICS LEARNED IT OVER COVID 19 LOCK DOWN...... I KNEW I WAS CRAZY..... IT WAS A HARD PILL TO SWALLOW... BUT IM A NEW WOMAN AND ITS BEEN MONTHS NO CONTACT AND ITS STAYING LIKE THAT.... HE WEARS OLD SHOES FOR WHORES...IM WEARING New SHOES WITH CLASS AND I WAS BLIND AND STUPID IN LOVE WITH THE DEVIL.... BE STRONG AND GOOOOO BC YOUR WASTING TIME AND YEARS... KNOW UR WORTH AND PLACE.... NARRSISTICS READ ABOUT IT ON UA-cam... YOUR NOT CRAZY..XXOO AMG
Completely understand. Going through the same thing. It hurts bad. It's been 4 months and it's still crushing. We were supposed to get married and left me cold...for somebody else. Shit is gut wrenching.
The pain from letting go is a blessing, why the hell you want someone who doesn't give a damn about you or your feelings, dont let that person use you. STAY AWAY FROM USERS!
Yes Lord!! Especially, as an independent woman. They want women that need them. As a woman, if I’m in love with a man, I don’t mind helping him to meet his goals also. However, it 100% turns into the nxgga that just wants to USE ME UP! Since then, I’ve enjoyed celibacy and inner solace and peace that I don’t want to ever risk losing again. I’ll wait until God leads my HUSBAND to (ME). 🙏🏾
Notes: The 7 reasons you can’t get over him are: 1. You haven’t gotten over the fantasy to face your reality 2. You've invested so much time and energy into this man 3. You’re afraid to start all over 4. You’ve developed a sexual attachment 5. You don’t believe better exists 6. You are fighting how you feel and not resolving it 7. You do have a genuine connection
Are these reasons also responsible for feeling jealous all the time? Even though it was not the best relationship and we both agreed on breaking up, I sometimes feel deeply jealous when thinking of her with someone else or moving on. Heck, even the thought about her body makes me jealous.
Ladies, always always ASK what a guy is looking for before you invest time, effort and feelings into him. If he is not on the same page as you, stop it immediately no matter how much you like him. There should be zero tolerance for ambivalence✌🏿
Men will rarely admit in the beginning that they want an exclusive long term relationship. They don't want to give the woman hope, when he doesn't even know how he feels about her yet. Men also rarely start out wanting to get married or live with a partner. So you have to go out with them a while and try to tell what he wants through his behavior, offhand comments. Later you can ask and expect an answer, when he has an idea whether you'd be the sort of woman he'd want a long term relationship with. If he doesn't have an answer at that point, it's best not to waste more time on him.
It’s the worst when they say they are looking for something serious and are saying they want to live with you in the future after 6 months of relationship and then they do not act accordingly. I’m done with missing anyone…
Idk.. I think that when we find ourselves stuck in a committed relationship, especially with children, we can make it all about great sex. After numbing myself out to how bad it was and failed attempts to leave, I decided to make the best of sex…It’s called disassociation and even that gave way. Funny and not funny. In a relationship, the lack of a love/soul connection is a sad, empty existence and takes its toll. Get out sooner than later. Save your heart! Save your soul! Save yourself! The longer you stay the more beaten down your self-respect will become , making it more difficult. It takes a lot of Faith and Strength to put your life back together. Don’t let distractions cost you years of your life.
How many times does a person start over though? How many heart breaks does a person go through to find the right one? I've prayed so many times asking God to bring the right person HE feels I deserve. When this guy came into my life, I honestly felt like he was the one. He did everything right( at least that's what I thought). Our issue was communication, which is why I chose to let go. If we couldn't communicate about our problems, how could our relationship grow? I was single 7 years before this recent relationship. I gave myself 7 years to heal, focus and pray for the right guy and the outcome was still bad. Sometimes I even questioned myself like " what did I do"? Dating and relationships are so bad this day in age and it's sad. One thing I do know is if GOD is not 1st, nothing in your relationship will succeed.
Stephan says we always know when something isn't right. We need to trust our intuition and end things before we get this attached. I wear my heart on my sleeve and get attached quickly, but we need to move on faster to prevent ourselves from getting so devastated when things don't work out.
@brandi I feel you. I had 9.5 years and we met in church dated 11months of absolute bliss before he cheated on me with and left me for a woman old enough to be his grandmother whom he made official 2 weeks after we broke up. Broke up with me 2 days after we "celebrated" our 1 year anniversary. Been 4 months since the breakup. I feel like I am just done.
He wasn’t truly pouring into me, he wasn’t truly making me happy. This is not for me. This won’t truly work. It’s not sustainable. He is not the right guy for me. I will keep reminding myself until I get over him. Thank you so much Stephan Speaks.
This hit home. I lowered my standards ,because I was hungry for love. But from the beginning , I should have left it at hello and good bye. Our lifestyles, upbringing, values were so opposite... smh but he did say all the beautiful things my heart was hungry for. Live and learn. At the end of it all the saddest thing, getting dumped after I lowered my standards. Go figure
The pain from letting go of someone who's toxic is the worst😔 There are days that are harder than others but The Lord is near to the broken-hearted🙏 Have a blessed weekend Stephan❤
Yes,it is hard cause brain got used to the uncertainty and unpredictability and it behaves like on addiction,but it WILL get better with time,just keep no contact,none whatsoever.God bless🙏
I d k but atleast for last two times i blown up the phone with worst words what else do u call mfs as? babyy? naah! bitch is a bitch and he better know that i k he's one
Awwww....Im sorry....yes, don't let your mental health decline....there is something better....I was in a horrible marriage....it got so bad it was making me sick....I was breaking out in hives....I lost so much weight I didn't want to come outside.....get out early sis....its not worth it ....be blessed 🙏
Your body tells you when your mind doesn't want to believe it. I know mine did. When he would do things that he knew would bother me my insides would vibrate. That was something that never happened before.
I felt THIS SO MUCH!!!!!! This is hitting me so hard.....I need to let go. I'm still attached but pretending to be ready to move on. I'm holding on to the fantasy....the situationship was great for him. I never got the commitment but he got all the wifey benefits. I feel foolish for giving my love.
Well, I'm still having some bad days. More good than bad, but what I did was NO CONTACT. It's horrible. It goes against everything my heart wanted to do, but if I were to contact him, he'd push further away.....and I'd look desperate, which is not what I am. I cried when I felt like crying. I entertained EVERY THOUGHT & MEMORY until I was numb to them. That way, if something popped up that reminded me of him, I felt a little less hurt. I talked to people about how I was feeling.....anyone who would listen. I made a journal/slam book about the situation. I accepted dates from other men....which helps with self-esteem and loneliness. None of it is easy, but eventually, acceptance comes around and you'll begin to feel more like yourself again. It took exactly a month after my 10 month situationship came to an end. Its gonna be okay. Hang in there.
Me too. I knew it and still tried to make it work. What a waste of time. I was discarded and it was the best thing that ever happened to me becuase I was fully invested in making it work so I would had not initiated a break up. So he did me a favor because I wouldn't have left him, I loved him and cared for him and gave so much into him in every way. Waste of time. He didn't realize what he had and he was an unhappy person with unresolved issues with women and had no friends.
Really good timing i needed to hear this! It’s been 3 months since I broke it with him and it seems like everyday gets even harder than the day before. I miss him soo much😔 we’ve had such an amazing connection💔 I’m hurting so bad I don’t know what to do. Sometimes i wish I didn’t meet him so I don’t have to go through this pain💔 I’ve never loved someone like this before and it hurts soo bad😭
I started crying while listening to this...you were truly speaking to me today. I've been having sex with a man that doesn't pour into me at all, on top of that the sex was just average at best. I recently let him go and this video is confirmation that I did the right thing. Thank you🙏🙏🙏
I'm over him I'm more pissed at myself for allowing myself to let it go on for so long. But no im not still inlove with him don't even want him. Wishing him the best for him. Im trying to fix me
It's not necessarily a fantasy but a feeling he created, you both created that is so hard to let go. That feeling remains even after the fantasy crumbles
6 years of being single. When I thought I found someone special I was feeling good finally. Then bull shyt happened and I’m back to square one. Dating sucks.
That's why now I do not even thing I need long breaks like that anymore because it doesn't change the outcome! I'm not going to jump around, but I won't take years off anymore.... I'm going to heal and move on this time.... its been almost 2 months and its getting better
Man! This hit home for me! Not only did I "over invest" in a "masked man" I stayed because I didn't want to take the loss. Thats important. I should've left a long time ago. I kept giving what was already not being reciprocated. I won't trash my ex but I will say this, im glad to finally be free physically of him- now I'll emotionally detatch myself. Moving forward is exciting! I'm ready to treat me right! Im ready to move past the pain and heartbreak of the lies I accepted. Im ready to heal!
I think one of the biggest struggle is separating the emotion and the memory as one can trigger the other. Knowing how to extract the lesson learned from the previous relationship without getting attached to the person and always thinking about them can get difficult.
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! GREAT INSPIRING AMAZING ENLIGHTENING WORDS OF WISDOM! YES INDEED! GOD BLESS US ALL! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! GOD IS WORKIN IT OUT! ON HIS GOD GIVEN RIGHT TIME! HOLD ON TO GOD ALWAYS! PRAY OFTEN AND DAILY TO GOD ALWAYS! GOD IS OUR EVERYTHING! GOD CAN HANDLE ANYTHING! GOD HAS US COVERED! GOD IS ALWAYS WITH US! GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE U NOR FORSAKE U! GOD WILL SEE US THRU ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GLORY TO GOD ALMIGHTY! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR THIS BLESSED TODAY! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! BE GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR ALL THINGS AND FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE U NOR FORSAKE U! PEACE AND HARMONY TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! SEPT 2021
The best feeling is when you healed and you run into an ex . Free from that hurt , and you can keep it pushing . It’s beautiful . Thank you 🙏 for class and the video.
Hello there fo you need help to fix all kinds of problems in your relationship including getting your ex husband, girlfriend, boyfriend crush within 3 days ???
💯💯 it happen before I ran into a ex I was fully healed praise God he wanted to get back together only thing I could tell him that I forgive him for everything that he did to me and we move on from there in life but not be back together just friends
This kind of pain is one the hardest to get through. I feel like am worse today than I was yesterday. It’s such an uphill battle. One step forward, 15 backwards. So damn hard 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
This is freeing. This message allows me to escape the confinement of my own thoughts. The feelings are real, the thoughts created were fantasies. Just fantasies.
Some may question how do you know that you've healed from the past and/or past hurt ? ....how does that look and feel??? ...I would say that you're no longer triggered by the person, their actions, their words... You don't continue to talk about them or how they hurt you... You've fallen back in love with you - doing things that align with your purpose, passion, and goals. God bless all who are experiencing the pain of a breakup. May He bind the broken 💔 & grant a peace that surpasses understanding 🙏🏾
This to me is the hardest part is letting go of a toxic man, I have been in a situationship for the past 2 years, and I guess my "place" is this off and on, trying to break free, but wont let me go, but wants to see other people and me be their whens hes done playing, come back and me living in "hope" mode that things will get different and this man will change, but in reality it will never change and like you said, I struggle emotionally inside not moving on.... I know that I need to move on and look for better but my attachment inside me wont let me do so....I struggle with letting go and accepting things for what it is and not what I want it to be...... and threw listening to your messages over the past 3 years is that if a man truley wants to be with you and be committed to you, he would do so, you would not haft to wait for him to "come around," or " see your worth or value," because in reality hes already "categorized" you in a department in his mind and its not the department of being your man and being their for you..... accepting you are a form of "convenience," because he knows you have feelings for him and he uses that to his advantage...because in his mind , you have been here this long, putting u with his behaviors, why would you stop.....
me crying knowing i did his resume lol, We’ve been together 5 yrs and your videos have helped me accept that you cant always get what you give. Sometimes its a blessing in disguise to leave. Time to invest in myself
It's truly frustrating and heartbreaking. But this woman here, isn't going to fall again in the toxic cycle . We deserve better. I've learned that most of the time a relationship goes sour and you have to invest your energy is someone that only puts you down , the best thing you can do , is to walk away. Remember discernment never fails, if you feel something is not right, it ain't. Be grateful that you'll have the opportunity to find the right man and be happy. Sending positive energy, and remember that you are not alone. 💕
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! VERY INSPIRING AMAZING ENLIGHTENING WORDS OF WISDOM! GOD BLESS US ALL! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! HOLD ON TO GOD ALWAYS! PRAY OFTEN AND DAILY TO GOD ALWAYS! GOD IS OUR EVERYTHING! GOD CAN HANDLE ANYTHING! GOD HAS US COVERED! GOD IS ALWAYS WITH US! GLORY TO GOD ALMIGHTY! GOD WILL SEE US THRU ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE U NOR FORSAKE U! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR THIS BLESSED TODAY! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! BE GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR ALL THINGS AND EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS!
I needed to hear this! My struggle is getting over him. It's so hard. He didn't see my value at all. I gave it a year and gave him somewhat of an option he choose to walk away. That spoke volumes. He never wanted me nor saw me in that light. I was his experiment making ready for his next relationship
@@aprilyavon4886 I can recommend you to (Mr Ose )who was able to bring back my ex husband and it works, I believe he can solve your relationship problems.......
This! I used to take years off out of fear... but with this relationship we did love each other, I knew he did.... we just wasn't good for one another... we trauma bonded.... I'm ready to move on! He showed me I can have love and move forward
When you feel that spiritual connection it’s real it’s like losing your other half and you can’t have them anymore. I don’t know I felt like I did everything I could to make him happy but we were both going through a difficult time there was just no open discussions in the house. I just want us both to heal from our traumas and maybe it is right person wrong timing. 😢💔
I was with my ex for about 8 months. Our families loved us togeter . I ignored the red flags in the beginning . He was in his 30s, still lived in his childhood bedroom, had no car, only worked part time, yet went out everyweekend! I made him feel like the man of my house , let him use my car whenever he needed , paid for dates so he wouldnt use his money, paid for us to go to Universal studios . Did all of this all for him to break up with me ! Im like wait what’!? I got closer to God and honestly this had to happen because i wouldnt have walked away unfortunately. This relationship was an eye opener ! I was going broke being with him
I carried the majority of my 8 year relationship and now I realize he wasn't pouring into me at all. I was just taking care of him. I didn't think the red flags were that big of a deal, but they never got better and ended up being the reason I ended things. My relationship was an eye opener too. I'm glad we both got out so that we can find better.
Point 5 resonates so much with me. "He treated me so much better than the others...but the bar was set low! Ouch. Praying God for discernement to avoid misinterpreting Point 7. Thank you Stephan. Stay blessed 🙌
I feel ya Christine. Its been since April for me and I could cry at the drop of a hat. Not sure if its because of him or my hormones. Lol.. Think its the fact of everything I put in it. I didn't get it back not all anyway. Like Stephan said it wasn't even about the sex because it wasnt great I must say. All about him. 🙄
@@ambiecats6189 yeah it’s honestly the most difficult breakup. We definitely had a spiritual connection and even tho it’s over I’ll always love him. I do wish him well with everything. I’m ready for my peace so I can find my true love.
I cant stop thinking about him bc at the end of the day we were friends. Talked every day but he projected his interturmoil onto me. He broke me emotionally. Letting go and walking away was necessary
"In your Spirit you know you don't belong there." I DON'T WANT A "SPIRITUAL" Connection with anyone again. My "Spiritual" Connection is for me. Anything that my Spiritual "eyes" come in to play lets me know something is wrong.
This message was meant for me. I'm having a harder time than most, because my ex and I work for the same employer; different departments. He comes to my department on his lunch break to workout. When I run into him...lord help me.🤦♀️
I went through a similar situation. Trust me I have learned my lesson. It was so hard remaining professional and even when I just wanted to cry. I managed somehow with the help of God.
WOW WOW WOW!! CONFIRMATION! I know GOD is using you to teach me! Just yesterday I said in conversation with THE LORD I do deserve better and I will receive better if it’s from GOD. I instantly became nervous and overwhelmed! All I ever wanted and still want is to feel loved. I DON’T care about material things.💯
I think thats what most of us want. I could care less about stuff either. Just want the feeling of being loved and safe. Not too much to ask I don't think. 💐
@@ambiecats6189 AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! GREAT INSPIRING AMAZING ENLIGHTENING WORDS OF WISDOM! GOD BLESS US ALL! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! GOD IS WORKIN IT OUT! ON HIS GOD GIVEN RIGHT TIME! HOLD ON TO GOD ALWAYS! PRAY OFTEN AND DAILY TO GOD ALWAYS! GOD IS OUR EVERYTHING! GOD CAN HANDLE ANYTHING! GOD HAS US COVERED! GOD IS ALWAYS WITH US! GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE U NOR FORSAKE U! GLORY TO GOD ALMIGHTY! GOD WILL SEE US THRU ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR THIS BLESSED TODAY! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! BE GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE AND FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! SMILE ALWAYS!( EVEN IN STORMS THAT U GO THRU!) PEACE AND HARMONY TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! SEPT 2021
It's been a week from a 10 year relationship...moving on so I can get who is really for me is the best thing you said. You were on point about everything thank you!
I'm sorry to hear about your breakup and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and receive the man who is truly best for you, the man God has for you!
My God Stephan! What are you? Psychic? This hits different. How are you able to tell my truth? God bless you 🙏 I always knew why but having someone else explain it and be so spot-on, is everything! Thank you 😊
I liked point 7, he has cross your path so you can see what out there waiting for you! He was everything I loved, hard working man, good morals, love family, loved his mother, love taking care of his home and I loved his funny looking face, true connection but it wasn't our time 😢 💔 thank you LORD for decerment
So thankful for this video. I’m not even finished but it’s spoken so much truth to me already. Literally would cook every day in hopes he sees I’m good for him but like I never thought about it he was good for me. I thought he liked me a lot and valued me but he didn’t. I let the bare minimum reel me in. We live and we learn I guess.
@UCRZ_o5ilqAK8oZs54GM%F0%9F%99%8FH24g I hope it will give you the clarity that you need and you will be able to heal from all that you have been through!
I really needed this 🙏 i run his business that i helped him start up. Having to be the one thats in constant communication with him kills me. Watching him move on so easily while im still struggling. But i agree that what hurts the most is the attachment to him and everything i put into the relationship (and the business, with hopes of it being "ours" in the future), not really about him cause in all honesty i knew he wouldn't be the one for a while but kept holding on. When i tell you this man hit every single point on im going through, this man seriously hit every single point of what im going through.
You are stronger than you realize! I couldn't imagine not being about to cut an ex off to help get over them. Stephan nailed this list. It was hard to hear but it was needed.
@@Younggal1 maybe cause im weak 😂 ...but for real no one out there will pay me what im currently making with him. And im investing most of my income on something til the end of the year. So ywah im trying to set myself up so i can leave. Its been so many times that i will judt break down cause i cant just up and leave.
This gave me a moment of clarity. 🙏 The investment, the fantasy, the desire, the hope. Jeez. I give so much. Because that’s how I feel a relationship should be. All in, love, commitment, support, showing up. It’s how my 15 year relationship was before him. Our attachment styles are repelling each other.
Greetings from India 🇮🇳 I'm so glad I found your channel. I broke up recently with my boyfriend of almost three years and he was my best friend for three years before the relationship. Need less to say I'm heartbroken however your videos are a God send. Thank you for talking facts in such a detailed manner. You have been a great source of comfort and wisdom for me at this unhappy time of my life. I can't get enough of your videos.
I really needed to hear this today. God does not want me to settle and who he sends may not be in the package I want but he will be everything I need🙏🏾
I watched this twice so that it wouldn't sting so much to hear it the second time. I needed to hear this today and it addressed all of the reasons I have ever struggled to get over someone and why I'm currently struggling. It also helped me understand why unhealthy attachments develop and why situationships are bad ideas. Thank you ❤ You were made for this. Thanks for helping me so much over the past year. I know he's out there, I just need to pour into myself first and prepare.
This video was much needed and came right on time. You are right, Stephan. For me, the challenge with moving forward was that I kept holding onto hope. Because I kept believing that he would change and value me and rebuild things to be more positive. But I realized the reality was that he did not treat me the way I deserve. As a result, I have to remember the bad, and remember why I have to walk away
I was there too. I kept trying to forgive all the while hoping he would return to the man I fell in love with. The truth is I fell in love with his representative and after a while the waters became so muddy, I could not find me anymore. After years of investing I finally walked away. It was not an easy decision, but I had to finally start loving me more than him.
The timing!!! This message was literally for me. Thank you, Stephan. Just yesterday, I was talking to my therapist, trying to figure out why I can't seem to let men go, even after I find out they are not what I want for me. I'll tell them I don't want this but will think about them every day, crave their attention, etc. We could not come up with an answer, but some of what you mentioned here makes sooo much sense. You are a blessing
You nailed it 🤦🏽♀️sad part I ignore all the red flags & my gut feelings 🤨every time he hurt me giving his ex’ so much attention when she was using their kid’s for a excuse why she always needed to talk… I got toxic & use to be cussing 🤬 him out bad & very disrespectful stressing ..how much respect & loyalty love i give him trying to make him recognize I’m truly a team player I’m cooking working cleaning house whole shopping ect….doing everything right we both supported each other but he didn’t respect my feelings 💔
It's painful to hear but so true, I blindly invested so much time into this dude but got absolutely nothing in return, the sex was sporadic and very few and far between with no intimacy or affection but I stupidly carried on for many years in the hope that a change was going to come but it never did, the red flags were there but I ignored them, we have a child together and he was not really there for her either, I can't comment on the whole story because it would probably take months to complete, just recently I walked away from the toxicity and the disrespect, I am watching your videos as part of my healing process, and when I'm listening it's almost as if you are talking to me and you know you story, I'm nodding my head as you speak, it's heartbreaking but I'm ploughing through all the emotions and trying to move forward with my life.
This literally planted my feet on the path to be free! Thank you Stephan. Thank you God for using him as a vessel. I feel so much lighter when I understand the root cause of life’s situations… Thanks again 🙏🏽❤️
I absolutely have mad respect for your candor and sincerity. I came across this and I really needed to hear this today. 😢 It does hurt. Thank you for all you do
Freedom… I’ve honestly been through enough hurt with my past that I just wanted him to change. I wanted him to be this fairytale guy that never happen. I wanted a prefect guy but he was never perfect and I do know there’s no such thing as a perfect person. We are all flawed but can be fixed. I had to let go and I’m loving me at this point. I am content being single and living life.
Wow, this hit home for me. The moment you said, You’ve invested all these years it’s hard to let go, it’s not the love for him it’s the time invested. For me is the idea of him. The memories of those few good memories but looking back I evaded them red flags. A 15 year marriage. 17 years invested. Thank you so much for these words. Also the sex talk wow, spot on in everything you said. Sexual attachment not because of the act but the intimacy/ sacrifice. Praise God for coming across your channel.
You can't imagine how much your clips, also this one, about break ups and getting over break ups resonates and helps me. It's such a huge support to have something like this on my side, when during a break up or after sometimes you're so overwhelmed and really unsure and insecure if you're doing the right thing for being happy in the long run. Being healthy in all aspects. I am struggling to step back from a real connection, but the timing ain't right. There is so much commitment and live bit we both need to work on aspects of our life's on our own. And still I am attached and grieving for the break up... Trying to find the right balance to stay connected and also healing. It's a trial and error thing.. It's hard and there's a lot of hope that I will find the right way. And your clips help me a lot with That. Thank you so much
I’ve been watching u for about 2 yrs Stephan. Didn’t know that u were divinely guided until now. It explains why the advice is so good. I’m glad that you’re a believer & using your gift to help heal the world. Thx U.
You took me with the last one. Because I need to let go, I’m struggling with recognizing if it really was a genuine connection. On another note, I felt when you said that I may not have what I want, but I may have what I need. Made me reanalyze myself!
It's been six years since my ex, never have I ever heard of anything like what you've said in this video. Your words are profoundly impactful and bathed in wisdom. Thank you for helping to provide insight as to why this past situation has been so difficult to move on from.
You have nailed it. After 31 years I have asked for a divorce and I was replaced in two weeks. No engery left, invested way to much with no return emotionally or in any other way. Hurts but I will be fine as long as I stay real about the life we had together. I have great kids, my blessings. Thank you so much.
You weren't replaced- he moved to a new supply- if he moved on that quick, the reality is he moved on a long time ago. Good news is now you can move on too!
Brotha.... Your 🎁 is a blessing.. The big Brotha I know I need. I pray as much as you pour out, you are being poured into. #4 is my true battle.. The struggle is real.
Wow! I feel so heard! I felt like you read my thoughts throughout the whole video. You just touched every single detail that's been going on on my mind with great advice. My husband recently left me out of the blue, despite me sacrificing a lot and giving lots of time and energy, so both in shock and despair, i still try to get over the trauma and this video is really helpful!
He hurt me deeply and yet he gave me nothing. I keep thinking about what might have been. I have been holding myself back. I don't want to cry. But, I don't want to be strong either. I am really trying to hold it together. I am really trying. I know that i can't hold on to any fantasy. I choose move on. I have love myself first. That's my closure, loving me more
This guy is the best one out there with advice 👏. He is so genuine and honest he delivers it you in a way that says I am here for you and want you to heal. His not interested in money he really wants to help you out. Thank you and may Hashem bless you xxxx
I just can’t let go of my ex🥺, I have never love that deep before. I have never had an issue to get over an ex, it’s been months. I don’t want to accept the fact that it’s over even if I was the one who initiated the break up. He played so many mind games, he put me into depression. I had to walk away for my own sake. I’m so glad that I have found this video.
I really needed this! God led me to your channel and all your videos have blessed me but this one came at a time when I really needed this. Please keep letting the Lord use you 🙏🏽
You are so insightful and healing especially about when you know you broke up with somebody and you knew he was a good guy but he wasn't for you in the end and trying to keep him out of the Forefront of my mind thinking there's nothing better when I should be focusing on improving myself loving myself more and learning how to love myself enough to say goodbye which I did and he had tears in his eyes but we weren't connected we met during covid and nothing was distracting and then when covid opened up the world again I saw a different side and his vision wasn't my vision and purpose the hardest part is my heart really is broken because I loved him and I know he loved me as well he said I don't understand why you're doing this but I said because where you're going and the things that distract you are taking away from our relationship he's a wonderful man I even told him I hope you find some someone that would love you like you deserve but there's just some things that we don't mesh on and I know that is it always a great reason but I love myself enough to know when to cut it off quick and do it like a lady and Say Goodbye with no hard feelings I'm just struggling with thinking there's nothing better but I also need to heal from past relationships before this one that I just broke up with and that's what was revealed to me with this message thank you
I ended it and this time last week I didn't even feel like getting out of bed in the morning. Then it came time for some deep cleaning. Some revelations 1. I was hooked on his future faking and found it hard to admit to myself that's all it was. Faking. 2. On a deeper level, I'd always known that he isn't even half the person I am, in terms of sincerity, integrity, honesty etc (not even talking other materialistic abilities and talents). On some level I thought, if someone like this doesn't see me as good enough to take me seriously, then what hope do I have? Anyway realising the truth of who he is jolted my feelings so strongly that my feelings for him just evaporated overnight. As for problem no. 2, I realised that this is victim mentality (my previous relationship was abusive and that lowered my benchmark) and if I don't believe I deserve better, I will never find better. Also that Queen song comes to mind - I need somebody to love. When I realised that the somebody has to deserve it first. That was my final release Thank u Stephan. Your talks helped me make sense of the process.
Hello there contact him now to get your ex back for all kinds of problems including saving your marriage banishing third party or relationship from divorce within 48 hours???
Lord! Stephan….I needed this! It’s 4:15 am my time. Although I need to be asleep 😊, I’m so thankful I listened to this video. All I can think of is if my dad, or hell anyone that I was close to had explained this to me I could have prevented a lot of loss time and heart ache. I get it now! Thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I prayed that God would help me get over a friend that I have a connection with but I need to move on.
Thank you very much for this helpful and insightful video and I'm aware that it's an old one, but want to mention that it's extremely important to grieve, which involves feeling pain and crying a lot at first, hence why many prefer to use distraction instead. I've noticed that people are often advised to keep busy by well-meaning friends etc too! I've also found that doing healing work on childhood wounds assists in the process, which is the main reason why I'm at the stage where it doesn't matter if I never see the last highly narcissistic man I got caught up with ever again. I've learnt that I didn't love him like I thought either, as he wasn't genuine and admitted that he was only using me and didn't love me in the end. I'd been able to clearly see that he wasn't capable of loving anyone, including himself, when he stayed at my place and didn't have anything to give anyway, so it wasn't personal, even though it sure felt like it. ❤
❤️ Get your copy of "Love After Heartbreak" here 👉www.loveafterheartbreak.com 👈 this book will lead you to finding peace and happiness in your life.
Yes. There is NOTHING worse than feeling your time wasted
@@lorettatripodi4440 the same 88yiy
What if you work with him?
I read this book, watched all of the videos, and each time I think I’m ok, something triggers me. I even met a nice guy and went on a couple dates, but I feel stuck. I blocked my ex on FB bc he kept telling me how much he loves me. Then I unblocked him. It’s been 5 months. How long will it take for me to heal
And move on?
I'm. Finding. Trusting. God. Helps my. Reality
“New beginnings are disguised as painful ending.”
❤
Yes. So true
I pray for everyone to break the soul ties and find love in yourselves
Love in Jesus Christ is always the best foundation for a successful relationship! :)
Thank you so much!!
I really need the prayers
thank you@@oliviadimock8202
I broke into tears when you brought up that you invested so much time and energy into him. I made many sacrifices and was always there for him, and hurts when they do you wrong. Had nothing but genuine love for him
I feel you, it definitely isn't an easy situation, but we need to focus on doing what is truly best!
I went thru same thing last year and he came back he basically cheated and came back and still continues to hide his relationship till i exposed him to his gf he cheated me on ... well she is still with him. But what he put me thru has caused me to hate him so much
Girl it HAPPENS TO ALL GOOD WOMEN... LIVE AND LEARN.... I MARRIED A NARRSISTICS LEARNED IT OVER COVID 19 LOCK DOWN...... I KNEW I WAS CRAZY..... IT WAS A HARD PILL TO SWALLOW... BUT IM A NEW WOMAN AND ITS BEEN MONTHS NO CONTACT AND ITS STAYING LIKE THAT.... HE WEARS OLD SHOES FOR WHORES...IM WEARING New SHOES WITH CLASS AND I WAS BLIND AND STUPID IN LOVE WITH THE DEVIL.... BE STRONG AND GOOOOO BC YOUR WASTING TIME AND YEARS... KNOW UR WORTH AND PLACE.... NARRSISTICS READ ABOUT IT ON UA-cam... YOUR NOT CRAZY..XXOO AMG
@@divyaramani9983 same and this dude tried to record me when we had sex , it’s been 4 years and it still hurts
Completely understand. Going through the same thing. It hurts bad. It's been 4 months and it's still crushing. We were supposed to get married and left me cold...for somebody else. Shit is gut wrenching.
The pain from letting go is a blessing, why the hell you want someone who doesn't give a damn about you or your feelings, dont let that person use you. STAY AWAY FROM USERS!
I have not had many men in my life a handful I was married for many years
Correct!!
Yes Lord!! Especially, as an independent woman. They want women that need them. As a woman, if I’m in love with a man, I don’t mind helping him to meet his goals also. However, it 100% turns into the nxgga that just wants to USE ME UP! Since then, I’ve enjoyed celibacy and inner solace and peace that I don’t want to ever risk losing again. I’ll wait until God leads my HUSBAND to (ME). 🙏🏾
That part!!
It's not easy to identify a user when one is in love
Notes: The 7 reasons you can’t get over him are:
1. You haven’t gotten over the fantasy to face your reality
2. You've invested so much time and energy into this man
3. You’re afraid to start all over
4. You’ve developed a sexual attachment
5. You don’t believe better exists
6. You are fighting how you feel and not resolving it
7. You do have a genuine connection
Truth.
Are these reasons also responsible for feeling jealous all the time? Even though it was not the best relationship and we both agreed on breaking up, I sometimes feel deeply jealous when thinking of her with someone else or moving on. Heck, even the thought about her body makes me jealous.
is it any better now?@@KedKexKevin
Believing better is out there is a real fear.
Ladies, always always ASK what a guy is looking for before you invest time, effort and feelings into him. If he is not on the same page as you, stop it immediately no matter how much you like him. There should be zero tolerance for ambivalence✌🏿
I can recommend you to (Mr Ose )who was able to bring back my ex husband and it works, I believe he can solve your relationship problems....
Men will rarely admit in the beginning that they want an exclusive long term relationship. They don't want to give the woman hope, when he doesn't even know how he feels about her yet. Men also rarely start out wanting to get married or live with a partner. So you have to go out with them a while and try to tell what he wants through his behavior, offhand comments. Later you can ask and expect an answer, when he has an idea whether you'd be the sort of woman he'd want a long term relationship with. If he doesn't have an answer at that point, it's best not to waste more time on him.
It’s the worst when they say they are looking for something serious and are saying they want to live with you in the future after 6 months of relationship and then they do not act accordingly. I’m done with missing anyone…
Yeah, like they will tell you the truth at the beginning or not change their mind during the relationship
@@Anna-fm7hh and you changed it by walking away
"The sex will be better, when you align yourself with the person that you should be with" 🧘🏽♀️ Repeat! 🤭
I can recommend you to (Mr Ose )who was able to bring back my ex husband and it works, I believe he can solve your relationship problems.......
Whatsazzz him👇👇👇
True 🥰
Idk.. I think that when we find ourselves stuck in a committed relationship, especially with children, we can make it all about great sex. After numbing myself out to how bad it was and failed attempts to leave, I decided to make the best of sex…It’s called disassociation and even that gave way. Funny and not funny. In a relationship, the lack of a love/soul connection is a sad, empty existence and takes its toll. Get out sooner than later. Save your heart! Save your soul! Save yourself! The longer you stay the more beaten down your self-respect will become , making it more difficult. It takes a lot of Faith and Strength to put your life back together. Don’t let distractions cost you years of your life.
I hate all the ads. Literally balling my eyes out and a fricken insurance ad pops up.
How many times does a person start over though? How many heart breaks does a person go through to find the right one? I've prayed so many times asking God to bring the right person HE feels I deserve. When this guy came into my life, I honestly felt like he was the one. He did everything right( at least that's what I thought). Our issue was communication, which is why I chose to let go. If we couldn't communicate about our problems, how could our relationship grow? I was single 7 years before this recent relationship. I gave myself 7 years to heal, focus and pray for the right guy and the outcome was still bad. Sometimes I even questioned myself like " what did I do"? Dating and relationships are so bad this day in age and it's sad. One thing I do know is if GOD is not 1st, nothing in your relationship will succeed.
If you want your lover to come back to you and stay forever💯💯
Wh'stapp me💯💯
Stephan says we always know when something isn't right. We need to trust our intuition and end things before we get this attached. I wear my heart on my sleeve and get attached quickly, but we need to move on faster to prevent ourselves from getting so devastated when things don't work out.
@brandi I feel you. I had 9.5 years and we met in church dated 11months of absolute bliss before he cheated on me with and left me for a woman old enough to be his grandmother whom he made official 2 weeks after we broke up. Broke up with me 2 days after we "celebrated" our 1 year anniversary. Been 4 months since the breakup. I feel like I am just done.
All what you said is how i feel too
He wasn’t truly pouring into me, he wasn’t truly making me happy. This is not for me. This won’t truly work. It’s not sustainable. He is not the right guy for me. I will keep reminding myself until I get over him. Thank you so much Stephan Speaks.
This hit home. I lowered my standards ,because I was hungry for love. But from the beginning , I should have left it at hello and good bye. Our lifestyles, upbringing, values were so opposite... smh but he did say all the beautiful things my heart was hungry for. Live and learn. At the end of it all the saddest thing, getting dumped after I lowered my standards. Go figure
This i can relate I have two kids with them own a home and he went back to his dads and mom house
Understand
I can recommend you to (Mr Ose )who was able to bring back my ex husband and it works, I believe he can solve your relationship problems.......
Whatsazzz him👇👇👇
ouch!!... cold-blooded
Its not the good times, its the loneliness, the fact that you lost your bestfriend and someone to talk to each day...
Yes. I missed the conversation and it’s hard. 😢
I just want to know what true love feels like
It consistently feels good....it doesn't hurt 👍🌹
Fall in love with God give him your heart completely. You do that you definitely will know what true love is.
Me too
Start looking in the mirror
@@latoyadavis8542 amen
The pain from letting go of someone who's toxic is the worst😔 There are days that are harder than others but The Lord is near to the broken-hearted🙏 Have a blessed weekend Stephan❤
Thank you I appreciate that!
Yes,it is hard cause brain got used to the uncertainty and unpredictability and it behaves like on addiction,but it WILL get better with time,just keep no contact,none whatsoever.God bless🙏
@@tanyatanya9492 so true
Wow...I love everything you said
yep trained the good bye with 2 children and 10 yrs ... I had to end the chaos
Nope he never loved me. And i can accept that now
I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
One thing I love most is time, it heals everything. Take you time working on healing you self.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks my pleasure brother
Truth
@@gabriellove8488 yes dear
@@biruruth5956 Well excuse me, how much time do I need? It’s been a year and a half. I’m sick of feeling this way!
"Embrace the process of getting over him...ACCEPT how you feel but don't react to it....DON'T CALL HIM OR SHOW UP AT HIS JOB!!!"🤣🤣🤣🤣
Lol 😚😃🤣 so true because pain can cause you to lose yourself..sometimes...
I might get him fired from his job
@@sdmims1 totally 😂
I d k but atleast for last two times i blown up the phone with worst words
what else do u call mfs as? babyy? naah! bitch is a bitch and he better know that i k he's one
😂😂Don’t stalk him on social media
“Holding on to what you wanted to believe it was “ 😩💔 I’m going through this now , very painful 😓
I'm sorry to hear about that. I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
This relationship has been so stressful. It’s draining me it’s time to let Go.
I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
Awwww....Im sorry....yes, don't let your mental health decline....there is something better....I was in a horrible marriage....it got so bad it was making me sick....I was breaking out in hives....I lost so much weight I didn't want to come outside.....get out early sis....its not worth it ....be blessed 🙏
@@beefaye6861 thank you, yeah call myself dating a busy man. Always to busy for me. I just want better. Thank you, we got this sis❤️
@@nella116 Yes.....you deserve better ❤
Your body tells you when your mind doesn't want to believe it. I know mine did. When he would do things that he knew would bother me my insides would vibrate. That was something that never happened before.
I felt THIS SO MUCH!!!!!! This is hitting me so hard.....I need to let go. I'm still attached but pretending to be ready to move on. I'm holding on to the fantasy....the situationship was great for him. I never got the commitment but he got all the wifey benefits. I feel foolish for giving my love.
So how u got out please tell me
How did u get over please tell
Well, I'm still having some bad days. More good than bad, but what I did was NO CONTACT. It's horrible. It goes against everything my heart wanted to do, but if I were to contact him, he'd push further away.....and I'd look desperate, which is not what I am. I cried when I felt like crying. I entertained EVERY THOUGHT & MEMORY until I was numb to them. That way, if something popped up that reminded me of him, I felt a little less hurt. I talked to people about how I was feeling.....anyone who would listen. I made a journal/slam book about the situation. I accepted dates from other men....which helps with self-esteem and loneliness. None of it is easy, but eventually, acceptance comes around and you'll begin to feel more like yourself again. It took exactly a month after my 10 month situationship came to an end. Its gonna be okay. Hang in there.
I know what you going through
When you recognize he isn’t for you, you have to end it then. This hit me hard. I saw so many flags initially, glad I have moved on. Thank you
Thank you for sharing and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
Me too. I knew it and still tried to make it work. What a waste of time. I was discarded and it was the best thing that ever happened to me becuase I was fully invested in making it work so I would had not initiated a break up. So he did me a favor because I wouldn't have left him, I loved him and cared for him and gave so much into him in every way. Waste of time. He didn't realize what he had and he was an unhappy person with unresolved issues with women and had no friends.
Really good timing i needed to hear this! It’s been 3 months since I broke it with him and it seems like everyday gets even harder than the day before. I miss him soo much😔 we’ve had such an amazing connection💔 I’m hurting so bad I don’t know what to do. Sometimes i wish I didn’t meet him so I don’t have to go through this pain💔 I’ve never loved someone like this before and it hurts soo bad😭
We are going to be ok
I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
You're not alone
I feel you when you say that you wish you didn’t meet him..I be feeling the same..it’s hard getting over someone..I hope for healing hun ❤️🩹
Im going thru the same thing! Praying it gets better.
I started crying while listening to this...you were truly speaking to me today. I've been having sex with a man that doesn't pour into me at all, on top of that the sex was just average at best. I recently let him go and this video is confirmation that I did the right thing. Thank you🙏🙏🙏
I'm happy this has been helpful to you and I pray that you heal all you have been through 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Thank you so much!
My pleasure ❤
I’m going through the same thing right now too. Attempted to break up with him last week and he roped me back in with false promises to change smh.
Omggg this is what I'm going through right now , I'm going to break it off
Ladies my heart goes out to you all
May we all find peace & healing
I'm over him I'm more pissed at myself for allowing myself to let it go on for so long. But no im not still inlove with him don't even want him. Wishing him the best for him. Im trying to fix me
You have to forgive yourself so that you can fully set yourself free 🙏❤️
I pray that you heal from all that you have been through!
I stayed too long too. I think by the end I was just looking for a return on my investment.
Yes me too. I am so mad and angry with myself for getting so prone to something I had no business doing from the get go.
I DON'T CARE IF IT HURTS....WE NEED THE HARD TRUTH.... 😵😖
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
It's not necessarily a fantasy but a feeling he created, you both created that is so hard to let go. That feeling remains even after the fantasy crumbles
Thank you for sharing I appreciate that ❤
6 years of being single. When I thought I found someone special I was feeling good finally. Then bull shyt happened and I’m back to square one. Dating sucks.
That's why now I do not even thing I need long breaks like that anymore because it doesn't change the outcome! I'm not going to jump around, but I won't take years off anymore.... I'm going to heal and move on this time.... its been almost 2 months and its getting better
same i stayed single let someone who was everything i wanted recently but he’s still messing with his ex lowkey so im out 😞 sadness
Sometimes it's how they made you feel alive again, even if deep down you knew it wasn't real. It's difficult to sit with the pain of losing that.
Thank you for putting it like that. It makes sense now.
I can recommend you to (Mr Ose )who was able to bring back my ex husband and it works, I believe he can solve your relationship problems.......
Whatsazzz him👇👇👇
Thissss‼️‼️🙌🏾
Man! This hit home for me! Not only did I "over invest" in a "masked man" I stayed because I didn't want to take the loss. Thats important. I should've left a long time ago. I kept giving what was already not being reciprocated. I won't trash my ex but I will say this, im glad to finally be free physically of him- now I'll emotionally detatch myself. Moving forward is exciting! I'm ready to treat me right! Im ready to move past the pain and heartbreak of the lies I accepted. Im ready to heal!
Girl, how are things for you now?
I think one of the biggest struggle is separating the emotion and the memory as one can trigger the other. Knowing how to extract the lesson learned from the previous relationship without getting attached to the person and always thinking about them can get difficult.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! GREAT INSPIRING AMAZING ENLIGHTENING WORDS OF WISDOM! YES INDEED! GOD BLESS US ALL! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! GOD IS WORKIN IT OUT! ON HIS GOD GIVEN RIGHT TIME! HOLD ON TO GOD ALWAYS! PRAY OFTEN AND DAILY TO GOD ALWAYS! GOD IS OUR EVERYTHING! GOD CAN HANDLE ANYTHING! GOD HAS US COVERED! GOD IS ALWAYS WITH US! GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE U NOR FORSAKE U! GOD WILL SEE US THRU ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GLORY TO GOD ALMIGHTY! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR THIS BLESSED TODAY! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! BE GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR ALL THINGS AND FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE U NOR FORSAKE U! PEACE AND HARMONY TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! SEPT 2021
The best feeling is when you healed and you run into an ex . Free from that hurt , and you can keep it pushing . It’s beautiful . Thank you 🙏 for class and the video.
Glad I could help!
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💯💯 it happen before I ran into a ex I was fully healed praise God he wanted to get back together only thing I could tell him that I forgive him for everything that he did to me and we move on from there in life but not be back together just friends
This kind of pain is one the hardest to get through. I feel like am worse today than I was yesterday. It’s such an uphill battle. One step forward, 15 backwards. So damn hard 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
I can relate sis
Just gone through a break up, it’s been 4 months now and I swear I come back to this video each month
This is freeing. This message allows me to escape the confinement of my own thoughts. The feelings are real, the thoughts created were fantasies. Just fantasies.
I'm happy this has been helpful to you, be sure to share so that others can receive love and healing!
Some may question how do you know that you've healed from the past and/or past hurt ? ....how does that look and feel??? ...I would say that you're no longer triggered by the person, their actions, their words... You don't continue to talk about them or how they hurt you... You've fallen back in love with you - doing things that align with your purpose, passion, and goals. God bless all who are experiencing the pain of a breakup. May He bind the broken 💔 & grant a peace that surpasses understanding 🙏🏾
This to me is the hardest part is letting go of a toxic man, I have been in a situationship for the past 2 years, and I guess my "place" is this off and on, trying to break free, but wont let me go, but wants to see other people and me be their whens hes done playing, come back and me living in "hope" mode that things will get different and this man will change, but in reality it will never change and like you said, I struggle emotionally inside not moving on.... I know that I need to move on and look for better but my attachment inside me wont let me do so....I struggle with letting go and accepting things for what it is and not what I want it to be...... and threw listening to your messages over the past 3 years is that if a man truley wants to be with you and be committed to you, he would do so, you would not haft to wait for him to "come around," or " see your worth or value," because in reality hes already "categorized" you in a department in his mind and its not the department of being your man and being their for you..... accepting you are a form of "convenience," because he knows you have feelings for him and he uses that to his advantage...because in his mind , you have been here this long, putting u with his behaviors, why would you stop.....
me crying knowing i did his resume lol, We’ve been together 5 yrs and your videos have helped me accept that you cant always get what you give. Sometimes its a blessing in disguise to leave. Time to invest in myself
It's truly frustrating and heartbreaking. But this woman here, isn't going to fall again in the toxic cycle . We deserve better. I've learned that most of the time a relationship goes sour and you have to invest your energy is someone that only puts you down , the best thing you can do , is to walk away. Remember discernment never fails, if you feel something is not right, it ain't. Be grateful that you'll have the opportunity to find the right man and be happy.
Sending positive energy, and remember that you are not alone. 💕
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that!
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Keep busy. Meditate. Get a daily routine going. Self care. Manifest your healing.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! VERY INSPIRING AMAZING ENLIGHTENING WORDS OF WISDOM! GOD BLESS US ALL! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! HOLD ON TO GOD ALWAYS! PRAY OFTEN AND DAILY TO GOD ALWAYS! GOD IS OUR EVERYTHING! GOD CAN HANDLE ANYTHING! GOD HAS US COVERED! GOD IS ALWAYS WITH US! GLORY TO GOD ALMIGHTY! GOD WILL SEE US THRU ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE U NOR FORSAKE U! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR THIS BLESSED TODAY! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! BE GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR ALL THINGS AND EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS!
I love that. That's what I do. I get into a daily routine. Walking, studying, go be the water, go to an outside restaurant. Just to regain peace
I needed to hear this! My struggle is getting over him. It's so hard. He didn't see my value at all. I gave it a year and gave him somewhat of an option he choose to walk away. That spoke volumes. He never wanted me nor saw me in that light. I was his experiment making ready for his next relationship
This makes me sad. I'm so sorry. It happened to me 20 years ago too but I realize that he wasn't best for me because he used me.
@@eekandem yes it hurts I'm working on me but I do see in my future that I won't be dating for a very long time or ever again.
Spot on .for some men women are no more then an experience which means an experiment
@@aprilyavon4886 I can recommend you to (Mr Ose )who was able to bring back my ex husband and it works, I believe he can solve your relationship problems.......
@@aprilyavon4886 Whatsazzz him👇👇👇
You are always on point! So many of us need this moving forward.💯
Glad I could help!
Yesss so happy I’ve came across his social media platform.♥️ He reallyyyyy a blessing💯🖤
Platforms**
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Thanks so much for this Video I needed to watch this again and again! Cause man they are wolves in sheep's clothing it's insane
@@tiatianaajournee AMEN! BLESSINGS COMING YOUR WAY❣️
I needed to hear this. Letting go of this one is killing me inside. Thank you Stephan.
My pleasure ❤
Oooh....been there....but I did it.👍
💐
I can't wait to start over. Heck im a lover not a fighter
You got this ❤
This! I used to take years off out of fear... but with this relationship we did love each other, I knew he did.... we just wasn't good for one another... we trauma bonded.... I'm ready to move on! He showed me I can have love and move forward
When you feel that spiritual connection it’s real it’s like losing your other half and you can’t have them anymore. I don’t know I felt like I did everything I could to make him happy but we were both going through a difficult time there was just no open discussions in the house. I just want us both to heal from our traumas and maybe it is right person wrong timing. 😢💔
I was with my ex for about 8 months. Our families loved us togeter . I ignored the red flags in the beginning . He was in his 30s, still lived in his childhood bedroom, had no car, only worked part time, yet went out everyweekend! I made him feel like the man of my house , let him use my car whenever he needed , paid for dates so he wouldnt use his money, paid for us to go to Universal studios . Did all of this all for him to break up with me ! Im like wait what’!? I got closer to God and honestly this had to happen because i wouldnt have walked away unfortunately. This relationship was an eye opener ! I was going broke being with him
I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
If you want your lover to come back to you and stay forever💯💯
Wh'stapp me💯💯
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I carried the majority of my 8 year relationship and now I realize he wasn't pouring into me at all. I was just taking care of him. I didn't think the red flags were that big of a deal, but they never got better and ended up being the reason I ended things. My relationship was an eye opener too. I'm glad we both got out so that we can find better.
Its harder when your older from being used, rejected, devalued. Especially by someone I've known since we were teens
You're such a blessing Stephen
thank you, I appreciate that
I AGREE!💯❤️
You truly are. Thank God for giving you this gift to help others.
I just let go and I feel so free and liberated. Self love is so important.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that!
If you want your lover to come back to you and stay forever💯💯
Wh'stapp me💯💯
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Truth. Proud of you
Point 5 resonates so much with me. "He treated me so much better than the others...but the bar was set low! Ouch. Praying God for discernement to avoid misinterpreting Point 7.
Thank you Stephan. Stay blessed 🙌
The hardest reason amongst the 7 reasons you mention is when you have a genuine love for him. It's really hard to let go of a man you genuinely love.
I was meant to see this because I’m struggling even though I’m really trying and taking the right steps.
🙏
Praying things get easier for you...
@@outsidethebox8406 thank you so much
I feel ya Christine. Its been since April for me and I could cry at the drop of a hat. Not sure if its because of him or my hormones. Lol.. Think its the fact of everything I put in it. I didn't get it back not all anyway. Like Stephan said it wasn't even about the sex because it wasnt great I must say. All about him. 🙄
@@ambiecats6189 yeah it’s honestly the most difficult breakup. We definitely had a spiritual connection and even tho it’s over I’ll always love him. I do wish him well with everything. I’m ready for my peace so I can find my true love.
I cant stop thinking about him bc at the end of the day we were friends. Talked every day but he projected his interturmoil onto me. He broke me emotionally. Letting go and walking away was necessary
"In your Spirit you know you don't belong there."
I DON'T WANT A "SPIRITUAL" Connection with anyone again. My "Spiritual" Connection is for me.
Anything that my Spiritual "eyes" come in to play lets me know something is wrong.
This message was meant for me. I'm having a harder time than most, because my ex and I work for the same employer; different departments. He comes to my department on his lunch break to workout. When I run into him...lord help me.🤦♀️
I feel you it definitely isn't an easy situation but you need to focus on doing what is truly best!
I'm praying for you Sis. You'll get through it.
Praying for you 🙏🏽🙏🏽 It’s going get better
I went through a similar situation. Trust me I have learned my lesson. It was so hard remaining professional and even when I just wanted to cry. I managed somehow with the help of God.
@@outsidethebox8406 Thank you.
WOW WOW WOW!! CONFIRMATION!
I know GOD is using you to teach me!
Just yesterday I said in conversation with THE LORD I do deserve better and I will receive better if it’s from GOD. I instantly became nervous and overwhelmed!
All I ever wanted and still want is to feel loved. I DON’T care about material things.💯
I had a conversation with God yesterday also . When I saw this video I was like Wow Thank you God
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
I think thats what most of us want. I could care less about stuff either. Just want the feeling of being loved and safe. Not too much to ask I don't think. 💐
@@ambiecats6189 AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! GREAT INSPIRING AMAZING ENLIGHTENING WORDS OF WISDOM! GOD BLESS US ALL! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! GOD IS WORKIN IT OUT! ON HIS GOD GIVEN RIGHT TIME! HOLD ON TO GOD ALWAYS! PRAY OFTEN AND DAILY TO GOD ALWAYS! GOD IS OUR EVERYTHING! GOD CAN HANDLE ANYTHING! GOD HAS US COVERED! GOD IS ALWAYS WITH US! GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE U NOR FORSAKE U! GLORY TO GOD ALMIGHTY! GOD WILL SEE US THRU ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR THIS BLESSED TODAY! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! BE GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE AND FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! SMILE ALWAYS!( EVEN IN STORMS THAT U GO THRU!) PEACE AND HARMONY TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! SEPT 2021
Thanks so much this has truly helped me gain clarity! You are such a wonderful blessing
It's been a week from a 10 year relationship...moving on so I can get who is really for me is the best thing you said. You were on point about everything thank you!
I'm sorry to hear about your breakup and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and receive the man who is truly best for you, the man God has for you!
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"REBUKE any ex that tells you you cannot find anyone better than him"👍🏾👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
21:42 🤯 "The bar was set low". My God. What a moment of bittersweet revelation. Thank you.
My God Stephan! What are you? Psychic?
This hits different. How are you able to tell my truth?
God bless you 🙏
I always knew why but having someone else explain it and be so spot-on, is everything!
Thank you 😊
My pleasure ❤
So true!
Very true
I liked point 7, he has cross your path so you can see what out there waiting for you! He was everything I loved, hard working man, good morals, love family, loved his mother, love taking care of his home and I loved his funny looking face, true connection but it wasn't our time 😢 💔 thank you LORD for decerment
So thankful for this video. I’m not even finished but it’s spoken so much truth to me already. Literally would cook every day in hopes he sees I’m good for him but like I never thought about it he was good for me. I thought he liked me a lot and valued me but he didn’t. I let the bare minimum reel me in. We live and we learn I guess.
I can't wait until i heal. Thank you for this message.
I pray that you heal from all that yo have been through 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Thank you. I'm reading your heartbreak book. 😊
@UCRZ_o5ilqAK8oZs54GM%F0%9F%99%8FH24g I hope it will give you the clarity that you need and you will be able to heal from all that you have been through!
Same here. It's long over due for me
I really needed this 🙏 i run his business that i helped him start up. Having to be the one thats in constant communication with him kills me. Watching him move on so easily while im still struggling. But i agree that what hurts the most is the attachment to him and everything i put into the relationship (and the business, with hopes of it being "ours" in the future), not really about him cause in all honesty i knew he wouldn't be the one for a while but kept holding on. When i tell you this man hit every single point on im going through, this man seriously hit every single point of what im going through.
I'm happy this has been helpful to you and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through!
You are stronger than you realize! I couldn't imagine not being about to cut an ex off to help get over them. Stephan nailed this list. It was hard to hear but it was needed.
@@thisvetwantsyoutoknow Thank you so much! It definitely sucks but I agree, needed to hear it. Gotta REPLAY to it sticks 😂🤭
Just a question why would you help him continue running it
@@Younggal1 maybe cause im weak 😂 ...but for real no one out there will pay me what im currently making with him. And im investing most of my income on something til the end of the year. So ywah im trying to set myself up so i can leave. Its been so many times that i will judt break down cause i cant just up and leave.
This gave me a moment of clarity. 🙏
The investment, the fantasy, the desire, the hope. Jeez. I give so much. Because that’s how I feel a relationship should be. All in, love, commitment, support, showing up. It’s how my 15 year relationship was before him.
Our attachment styles are repelling each other.
Man I’m so hurt🚶🏽♀️🖤💔
Greetings from India 🇮🇳 I'm so glad I found your channel. I broke up recently with my boyfriend of almost three years and he was my best friend for three years before the relationship. Need less to say I'm heartbroken however your videos are a God send. Thank you for talking facts in such a detailed manner. You have been a great source of comfort and wisdom for me at this unhappy time of my life. I can't get enough of your videos.
I really needed to hear this today. God does not want me to settle and who he sends may not be in the package I want but he will be everything I need🙏🏾
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
Yes amen I have this same mind set
I can recommend you to (Mr Ose )who was able to bring back my ex husband and it works, I believe he can solve your relationship problems.......
Whatsazzz him👇👇👇
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He May Not Have Everythang You Wanted..... But He Has Everythang You Need.... This video was 100% straight Facts and 100% on point !!
❤ 🙂 Thank you for watching I appreciate your feedback and be sure to share so that others can receive love and healing!
I watched this twice so that it wouldn't sting so much to hear it the second time. I needed to hear this today and it addressed all of the reasons I have ever struggled to get over someone and why I'm currently struggling. It also helped me understand why unhealthy attachments develop and why situationships are bad ideas. Thank you ❤ You were made for this. Thanks for helping me so much over the past year. I know he's out there, I just need to pour into myself first and prepare.
I'm happy this has been helpful to you don't forget to share so that others can receive love and healing!
Love me too, I actually took a piece of paper 📝 to write word down so I can remember
This video was much needed and came right on time. You are right, Stephan. For me, the challenge with moving forward was that I kept holding onto hope. Because I kept believing that he would change and value me and rebuild things to be more positive. But I realized the reality was that he did not treat me the way I deserve. As a result, I have to remember the bad, and remember why I have to walk away
You expressed my sentiments. Coming from a woman who was married 26 years.
Yes i feel the same way 😩
I was there too. I kept trying to forgive all the while hoping he would return to the man I fell in love with. The truth is I fell in love with his representative and after a while the waters became so muddy, I could not find me anymore. After years of investing I finally walked away. It was not an easy decision, but I had to finally start loving me more than him.
The timing!!! This message was literally for me. Thank you, Stephan. Just yesterday, I was talking to my therapist, trying to figure out why I can't seem to let men go, even after I find out they are not what I want for me. I'll tell them I don't want this but will think about them every day, crave their attention, etc. We could not come up with an answer, but some of what you mentioned here makes sooo much sense. You are a blessing
I'm happy this has been helpful to you don't forget to share so that others can receive love and healing!
You nailed it 🤦🏽♀️sad part I ignore all the red flags & my gut feelings 🤨every time he hurt me giving his ex’ so much attention when she was using their kid’s for a excuse why she always needed to talk… I got toxic & use to be cussing 🤬 him out bad & very disrespectful stressing ..how much respect & loyalty love i give him trying to make him recognize I’m truly a team player I’m cooking working cleaning house whole shopping ect….doing everything right we both supported each other but he didn’t respect my feelings 💔
I can recommend you to (Mr Ose )who was able to bring back my ex husband and it works, I believe he can solve your relationship problems.......
Whatsazzz him👇👇👇
It's painful to hear but so true, I blindly invested so much time into this dude but got absolutely nothing in return, the sex was sporadic and very few and far between with no intimacy or affection but I stupidly carried on for many years in the hope that a change was going to come but it never did, the red flags were there but I ignored them, we have a child together and he was not really there for her either, I can't comment on the whole story because it would probably take months to complete, just recently I walked away from the toxicity and the disrespect, I am watching your videos as part of my healing process, and when I'm listening it's almost as if you are talking to me and you know you story, I'm nodding my head as you speak, it's heartbreaking but I'm ploughing through all the emotions and trying to move forward with my life.
Its been 4 days😢 ive prayed journaled and been watching you
This literally planted my feet on the path to be free! Thank you Stephan. Thank you God for using him as a vessel. I feel so much lighter when I understand the root cause of life’s situations…
Thanks again 🙏🏽❤️
I absolutely have mad respect for your candor and sincerity. I came across this and I really needed to hear this today. 😢 It does hurt. Thank you for all you do
Freedom… I’ve honestly been through enough hurt with my past that I just wanted him to change. I wanted him to be this fairytale guy that never happen. I wanted a prefect guy but he was never perfect and I do know there’s no such thing as a perfect person. We are all flawed but can be fixed. I had to let go and I’m loving me at this point. I am content being single and living life.
Wow, this hit home for me. The moment you said, You’ve invested all these years it’s hard to let go, it’s not the love for him it’s the time invested. For me is the idea of him. The memories of those few good memories but looking back I evaded them red flags. A 15 year marriage. 17 years invested. Thank you so much for these words. Also the sex talk wow, spot on in everything you said. Sexual attachment not because of the act but the intimacy/ sacrifice. Praise God for coming across your channel.
You can't imagine how much your clips, also this one, about break ups and getting over break ups resonates and helps me. It's such a huge support to have something like this on my side, when during a break up or after sometimes you're so overwhelmed and really unsure and insecure if you're doing the right thing for being happy in the long run. Being healthy in all aspects. I am struggling to step back from a real connection, but the timing ain't right. There is so much commitment and live bit we both need to work on aspects of our life's on our own. And still I am attached and grieving for the break up... Trying to find the right balance to stay connected and also healing. It's a trial and error thing.. It's hard and there's a lot of hope that I will find the right way. And your clips help me a lot with That. Thank you so much
I’ve been watching u for about 2 yrs Stephan. Didn’t know that u were divinely guided until now. It explains why the advice is so good. I’m glad that you’re a believer & using your gift to help heal the world. Thx U.
You took me with the last one. Because I need to let go, I’m struggling with recognizing if it really was a genuine connection. On another note, I felt when you said that I may not have what I want, but I may have what I need. Made me reanalyze myself!
It's been six years since my ex, never have I ever heard of anything like what you've said in this video. Your words are profoundly impactful and bathed in wisdom. Thank you for helping to provide insight as to why this past situation has been so difficult to move on from.
I can recommend you to (Mr Ose )who was able to bring back my ex husband and it works, I believe he can solve your relationship problems....
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I’m heart broken… I miss him so much and love him! I love myself more that’s why I had to walk away
You have nailed it. After 31 years I have asked for a divorce and I was replaced in two weeks. No engery left, invested way to much with no return emotionally or in any other way. Hurts but I will be fine as long as I stay real about the life we had together. I have great kids, my blessings. Thank you so much.
You weren't replaced- he moved to a new supply- if he moved on that quick, the reality is he moved on a long time ago. Good news is now you can move on too!
Brotha.... Your 🎁 is a blessing.. The big Brotha I know I need. I pray as much as you pour out, you are being poured into.
#4 is my true battle..
The struggle is real.
I hope this has been helpful to you and I pray you are able to keep moving in faith 🙏
Great content as always, so honest and different angles. Keep it up ❤️
Thank you! Will do!
Wow! I feel so heard! I felt like you read my thoughts throughout the whole video. You just touched every single detail that's been going on on my mind with great advice. My husband recently left me out of the blue, despite me sacrificing a lot and giving lots of time and energy, so both in shock and despair, i still try to get over the trauma and this video is really helpful!
I hope you will heal soon
He hurt me deeply and yet he gave me nothing. I keep thinking about what might have been. I have been holding myself back. I don't want to cry. But, I don't want to be strong either. I am really trying to hold it together. I am really trying. I know that i can't hold on to any fantasy. I choose move on. I have love myself first. That's my closure, loving me more
This guy is the best one out there with advice 👏. He is so genuine and honest he delivers it you in a way that says I am here for you and want you to heal. His not interested in money he really wants to help you out. Thank you and may Hashem bless you xxxx
Its really hard, hurting, like stabbing my heart .
I just can’t let go of my ex🥺, I have never love that deep before. I have never had an issue to get over an ex, it’s been months. I don’t want to accept the fact that it’s over even if I was the one who initiated the break up. He played so many mind games, he put me into depression. I had to walk away for my own sake. I’m so glad that I have found this video.
Hi have you got over him? 😔🥺 I really need hope rn
Thank you for opening my eyes, defining strict structure, boundaries and what steps to take moving forward IN a health relationship looks like !! 🌃🌇🙏
Glad I could help!
I really needed this! God led me to your channel and all your videos have blessed me but this one came at a time when I really needed this. Please keep letting the Lord use you 🙏🏽
You are so insightful and healing especially about when you know you broke up with somebody and you knew he was a good guy but he wasn't for you in the end and trying to keep him out of the Forefront of my mind thinking there's nothing better when I should be focusing on improving myself loving myself more and learning how to love myself enough to say goodbye which I did and he had tears in his eyes but we weren't connected we met during covid and nothing was distracting and then when covid opened up the world again I saw a different side and his vision wasn't my vision and purpose the hardest part is my heart really is broken because I loved him and I know he loved me as well he said I don't understand why you're doing this but I said because where you're going and the things that distract you are taking away from our relationship he's a wonderful man I even told him I hope you find some someone that would love you like you deserve but there's just some things that we don't mesh on and I know that is it always a great reason but I love myself enough to know when to cut it off quick and do it like a lady and Say Goodbye with no hard feelings I'm just struggling with thinking there's nothing better but I also need to heal from past relationships before this one that I just broke up with and that's what was revealed to me with this message thank you
I can recommend you to (Mr Ose )who was able to bring back my ex husband and it works, I believe he can solve your relationship problems....
I ended it and this time last week I didn't even feel like getting out of bed in the morning. Then it came time for some deep cleaning. Some revelations 1. I was hooked on his future faking and found it hard to admit to myself that's all it was. Faking. 2. On a deeper level, I'd always known that he isn't even half the person I am, in terms of sincerity, integrity, honesty etc (not even talking other materialistic abilities and talents). On some level I thought, if someone like this doesn't see me as good enough to take me seriously, then what hope do I have? Anyway realising the truth of who he is jolted my feelings so strongly that my feelings for him just evaporated overnight. As for problem no. 2, I realised that this is victim mentality (my previous relationship was abusive and that lowered my benchmark) and if I don't believe I deserve better, I will never find better.
Also that Queen song comes to mind - I need somebody to love. When I realised that the somebody has to deserve it first. That was my final release Thank u Stephan. Your talks helped me make sense of the process.
Glad I could help!
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He is indeed a problem solver contact him!! I was like this be'fore he helped me recover my ex back
Lord! Stephan….I needed this!
It’s 4:15 am my time. Although I need to be asleep 😊, I’m so thankful I listened to this video.
All I can think of is if my dad, or hell anyone that I was close to had explained this to me I could have prevented a lot of loss time and heart ache. I get it now! Thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I prayed that God would help me get over a friend that I have a connection with but I need to move on.
Thank you very much for this helpful and insightful video and I'm aware that it's an old one, but want to mention that it's extremely important to grieve, which involves feeling pain and crying a lot at first, hence why many prefer to use distraction instead. I've noticed that people are often advised to keep busy by well-meaning friends etc too!
I've also found that doing healing work on childhood wounds assists in the process, which is the main reason why I'm at the stage where it doesn't matter if I never see the last highly narcissistic man I got caught up with ever again.
I've learnt that I didn't love him like I thought either, as he wasn't genuine and admitted that he was only using me and didn't love me in the end. I'd been able to clearly see that he wasn't capable of loving anyone, including himself, when he stayed at my place and didn't have anything to give anyway, so it wasn't personal, even though it sure felt like it. ❤
I can recommend you to (Mr Ose )who was able to bring back my ex husband and it works, I believe he can solve your relationship problems....
十13609219711♻️♻️🎦🚻识你...
The “invested” part is such an eye-opener and hits hard!