As a bi person whose been in both gay and straight relationships, people think I'm either gay or straight depending on who I'm with. People forget that if I'm with a man, I'm still bi, same if I'm with a woman, I'm still bi.
Thank you for this video! As a trans guy who's partner happens to be a bisexual man I often get the "ah, I bet him (my partner) being bi makes it easier" or "it makes sense that he's bi because he's with you (me)". It is rude and insulting, since it invalidates how I identify - a gay (trans) guy. Often it is not said out of malice (for example by friends), but please be aware that you are basically misgendering someone and tell them you still see them as their gender assigned at birth. Thank you for taking the time to explain the difference, Shaaba 💜
For straight trans people it might be easier to be with a bi person because they might not have as many judgements on what their partner’s body should look like or as many stereotypes about what gender performances are acceptable. In general a bi man would likely be more accepting of a trans woman or a non-binary person than a straight guy would
I totally get that this comment is really invalidating but honestly I do think it's true (questioning myself, I might add). Because I don't think a lot of people are attracted to gender identities. They are attracted to certain bodies and certain characteristics in personality. If someone doesn't have the genitalia or even secondary sex characteristics you're attracted to, then that might be a dealbreaker for someone. But that doesn't necessarily invalidate a trans persons gender. If you're a person attracted exclusively to vaginas for example and the person you're dating doesn't have a vagina, while still being a cis woman (birth defect, accident, medical condition or maybe just didn't want to have a vagina), that might still not appeal to you. And it doesn't make the cis woman any less of a woman. So that is why people without a strict genital preference are more likely to be attracted to trans people. And because normal people don't spend 13 hours a day contemplating this shit they say "him being bi must make it easier" instead of "cool that he doesn't care whats in your pants"
This one's for my Aro companions: we are not Aromantic because we haven't been exposed to the "right" people for us. I'm sure all of you are as tired of hearing that as I am. People who say that probably don't understand what being Aromantic means, but we do and that's what matters 🖤💚
Yes! There's so much misunderstanding around being aromatic, the same goes for asexual. To further dispell some myths...You _can_ be one without the other (aro without ace or ace without aro), or you can be both, or in the grey zone where there is that one person you're with (but no one else), or maybe you've had past relationships (etc)... but that doesn't diminish how you identify or make it or you any less valid. And it is perfectly possible and valid to be panromantic, biromantic, etc and be asexual, or be bisexual/pansexual/etc but also aromatic. And let's not forget that you can experience love and love someone without it being romantic and/or sexual in nature. Society puts this big focus on romantic love and sexual attraction being inseparably entwined, why can't we normalise having one without the other or even love without either romance/sexual attraction; platonic love is awesome too. It's taken me a long time to get to grips with the fact that I am & can be biromantic and asexual and that while many people cannot make sense of that, that is their problem not mine.
There’s also a bunch of other sexualities that fall under the ace/aro umbrella that people misunderstand I know you’ll never meet the right person romantically because romantically there is no right person for you, and that’s completely fine, that’s just how it is
Thank you 🙏🏽 Because I haven’t come out to a lot of people (I’m both aromantic and asexual), I haven’t had to deal with many comments like these. However, one that I have gotten that stuck with me was “I don’t want you to limit yourself.” What does that even mean? I can’t choose to limit myself…I just don’t feel these kinds of attractions for other people! I also had something similar happen when I was exploring my gender identity, but that’s a whole other can of worms. I really hope that as we progress as a society, different sexual orientations and gender identities will be more widely understood.
This was important for you to say, especially since Blaire White recently said in a video she made about ‘super straight’ that she didn’t think gay guys who are attracted to trans men, are actually as gay as they say they are. She also said she doesn’t think her boyfriend is straight because he’s attracted to her. And this is VERY problematic (as you said, Shaaba) since Blaire White, as a trans women, is implying that she isn’t really a girl. So thanks for this.
@@Tree173 oof, same. I did watch her vids last year around this time because the ones I watched were informative (like the Trisha Paytas reaction one and a few others) and in those ones she wasn't as bad as I hear she is now. Also Calvin, he was such an absolute factor of my own hatred because of his constant invalidation of my gender identity. Trans people should be supportive of other (valid) identities
ok so I know this wasn't the main topic of the video but hearing Shaaba refer to herself as "plump" was just so validating?? Shaaba's honesty and self-acceptance have been a huge influence for myself as a plump woman myself. I'm so grateful to have her out here creating content about her journey of self-love and self-acceptance, even though I'm sure she has days where she struggles with it too. Thank you Shaaba for being an honest and positive role model for this corner of the internet!
I feel that being told that you were only bi (as a cis person) because you had a trans partner would be doubly invalidating. It invalidates both the trans person's identity and your own identity in who you are sexually and/or romantically attracted to.
do bi people in male/female relationships always have to be referred to as having a 'straight relationship'?? i'm a bisexual woman, and if i were to date a man i wouldn't want it to be called a 'straight' relationship, because i'm not straight at all, and it would make me uncomfortable as a bisexual person to have a relationship referred to as 'straight' when i'm not straight myself. i also think it encourages the stereotype that bi people are 'half straight and half gay' which is also quite uncomfortable and invalidating to bisexuality. so is the terminology 'straight relationship' just something that bi people can choose to use if they prefer to?
Yes, people who prefer to use that terminology definitely can. It doesn't make everyone uncomfortable, just some people. I have to say, I totally understand where you're coming from because it makes me uncomfortable too. However, I can't tell anyone how to refer to their own relationship and if they don't have a problem describing it like that, then it's not my business and I stay out of it. As long as no one describes my relationships like that, I'm fine with it. I personally say "opposite sex" or "same sex" relationship rather than straight or gay/lesbian relationship. To each their own though.
I have the same problem and maybe you could say you have a queer relationship because at least some partner is LGBTQ+? I usually refer to my relationship as a straight relationship because of the appearance (cisman + ciswoman) but if you are uncomfortable, maybe queer would be a good adjective. It doesn't change/influence your husband's sexuality and doesn't say "straight" :-) As long as you are happy with it and people (at least from certain circles) understand you, it's fine.
I've gone with the label of queer for my past relationships too! I've always found that the most comfortable and accurate when one of the partners is bi :) Just a little thing to help combat bi erasure
@@PurplePandaK I disagree with the implication that calling a relationship that a bisexual person is in 'straight' is erasure. That's the term I prefer to use for my relationship. It doesn't reflect on my identity, just on who is in the relationship-in this case, a woman and a man. I respect that many bisexuals aren't cool with that word being applied to theirs, and that's totally valid, but I'm not committing erasure against myself by describing my relationship the way that feels correct to me.
I’m bisexual, and I recently came out as one. I have liked more males than females, does that make me less of a bisexual biscuit? No. I’ve never dated anyone before, does that make me asexual/aromantic? No. I know my sexual identity even if I just came out.
Honestly this is a great video to have bookmarked for when you need to share a video to *that* family member or *that* fb friend who posts uneducated things about trans relationships. Like Shaaba is just so personable and amiable that the message actually has a chance of getting through.
I've come across people thinking that being bi or pansexual means that you have multiple partners or that you will definitely have more than one partner simultaneously. So if you're in a long-term relationship with one person it no longer fits with their view of bi or pan, therefore 'you' must have changed 🤦♀️
That explains a lot! I'm pan, cis female and a grandmother, have had relationships with/dated cis men and cis women, who were themselves gay, bi or straight. Twice married to men, once engaged to a lovely lady. Gender is not an important factor for me, it's just about personality, chemistry, I don't know exactly. I feel it for some people and not others, just like everyone else. I fall in love, and have monogamous, happy and fulfilling relationships. Just like everyone else. Why is that so hard to understand for some people.
Yep, I have never understood that. Like people think bi people are more prone to cheating or something, or that they can't be satisfied with just one partner because they will always be wanting a second partner of a different sex to....complete the collection or something? I have no idea. Never made any sense to me.
@@thatjillgirl I agree: It doesn't make any sense to me either. It's like saying to any human: You CANNOT be monogamous otherwise you will not fit my frame of reference. You MUST have multiple partners or else nothing makes sense. - I'm being a bit dramatic here, but that is the ridiculous perception I have heard and received. It's a statement from ignorance of nuance, sexuality, individuality and lack of one's own bias (one or all of these), imho.
That’s so annoying. Other people can’t tell you how YOU should identify. If you’re looking for a way to help these people understand, I define my bisexuality as being attracted to 2 groups: people of my own gender, and people of other genders. Give me all the genders. 🧡
I think that there is a whole fuss over pan and bi, and the definitions are evolving. I like the term pan, gender is not significant in who I am attracted to, but bi is a comfortable and familiar term, I am attracted to more than 1 gender. I have been asked if I am attracted to my partner in all gender presentations, I usually answer that I am bi, so yes.
Fellow bi-identifying person here who is attracted to all genders. You are valid! I use the term bi because it feels right for me. It doesn't matter what other people think.
@@jessicajasper5527 Thanks so much for telling me this on that comment where I was being told that kind of stuff it got so bad I just deleted because I couldn't deal with people saying what I identify as is wrong anymore.
@@fina_Soma You are so welcome! People are often quick to try to tell you who you are, but only you know your own identity. And your opinion of yourself is the only one that matters!
I usually use the term "straight-assuming" to describe relationships that seem straight to people who aren't in the know about the people's sexual identities :) but of course I have no say in how people label themselves/their relationships. Love the vid
This right here. Well said, Shaaba. I'm asexual and for years thought I was bi because I felt equal (aesthetic) attraction to ppl of all genders, it took a while to realise that since the amount of sexual attraction was none I wasn't actually bi, but it's comments like "oh, you're attracted to/with so-and-so that must make you X-orientation" and no. Just no. My orientation (or yours) is mine (or yours) to determine, and all those invalidating comments may be coming from a place of ppl trying to understand, but are really hard when they keep happening. When I came out to my mum she said I couldn't be ace because I'd had crushes on guys as a kid and... no, I had squishes, and crushes are not sexual attraction. They're crushes. MT sexual orientation is not based on who I have crushes on or I'd be bi/pan because gals and nonbinary pals are just as attractive to me as the guys I had crushes on. And for that matter I'd probably also be into cars as well (I really should have known I was ace a lot sooner because my thing for a really good looking car felt the same as my thing for a really attractive person *visible ace confusion at aesthetic attraction versus compulsory heterosexuality*). Really thoughtful video, Shaaba, thank you! ♥
Ah, yes. My teenage confusion as an aroace that had yet to discover any other identities than straight/gay 😅 Was very, very confused with aesthetic attraction towards girls, because yes, girls are cute as heck, but I didn't want to date one, but did that still make me lesbian? Meanwhile, guys never woke anything at all in me, adding to the confusion pile :'D Took all the way into my twenties to figure out myself, finally gaining knowledge of other orientations. I still vividly remember the "oh SNAP"-moment when it clicked xD
@@elieli2893 Oh wow, I relate to much! I started learning about the LGBTQ+ communitiy as a teenager, thought I was a latebloomer and also afraid of maybe 'finding out' I was gay (bc of homophobia)bc I found so many people with black hair (for some reason) of all genders really pretty. Now in my 20s I know I have never been sexually attracted to anyone, just aesthetically, and that ('Oh snap' as well) I am aro ace :)
I feel like this distinction is so important. I identify as a cisgender lesbian and I have a trans wife. She is my love and my beautiful wife. I always find it invalidating when people think that that MEANS that I am bisexual or something else. I am a lesbian because I love women.
I've seen a meme once that was something like : nobody : a well-spoken women explaining something in a perfectly clear way : I hope that makes sense, I feel like I'm just rambling You give me this energy 100% haha. You couldn't be more clear and articulate, you don't need to apologize for anything! :D
Excellently explained, thank you Shaaba! "I'm bi because I'm me" was so wonderful to hear 💙💜❤ As a fellow bi, the concept of 'straight' or 'gay' relationships feels strange, though I can see how it's a quicker & simpler description than 'relationship involving the same/different gender'. Probably personal preference, but if someone described my relationship as straight it'd feel like they were describing me as straight too, which is uncomfortable. Idk, I'll go think on this.
I love how you and Jaime talk about stuff. It feels so comfortable and nonconfrontational! Sometimes, it's hard to for me to explain my feelings and thoughts because i get super passionate and it ends up coming off as angry and argumentative, when sometimes I just need to explain things! It really helps to have examples of how to talk about this kind of stuff, especially since my parents dont. :)
Hello everyone, how are you all? I hope you are doing well. Have a fantastic week and remember that someone out there cares about you and you will always be valid. I am always here for anyone who needs help, I will always care about all you lovely people, stay safe and be well.
I just learned, I’m a Cis Straight woman married to a Cis Straight man. Obviously, I didn’t just learn this about myself, but I DID just learn how to verbalize it. I admit, I do get a little lost with all different circumstantial relationships. Educating ourselves is sooo important. My hope is to reduce the chance of ever offending anyone and build a deeper understanding, connection and relationship with my gay friends/family, their partners or potential new friends. I still have a lot to learn. I hope to create a safe space and be apart of their lives.
speaking of which: I think it's a good idea with the different poly orientations (bi, pan, omni, poly, etc.) to not try to define the label if explaining it, but say something like "I identify as bi. I am attracted to people of my gender and people not of my gender" as opposed to " I'm bi, *that* means..." the idea being to describe yourself, disconnecting the description from the label. I think that would help reduce feeling like people are dictating other's orientations.
Do any of you dislike the phrase "straight relationship?" If one or both people in the relationship aren't straight despite being a man and a woman who are together, I tend to not call it a straight relationship. I just call it a relationship lol. Maybe that's just me though.
I consider it another word for heterosexual relationship, which is an accurate term for a man and woman together. I don’t think the adjective used to describe the relationship implies anything about the sexuality of the people involved, rather it’s a description of the genders of the partners. I agree that you could just say “relationship” but there are conversations in which further description might be needed. Such as this video.
I always thought I should use the term "straight appearing relationship" or "gay appearing relationship" because the relationship will appear straight/gay to the outside world but that doesn't make the people involved straight/gay... I agree they should just be called relationships though, too many people still seem hung up on the idea that not everyone is straight 🤯 - also, only calling a relationship a "relationship", without the adjective in front, if you know the people aren't both straight means you might still be classifying relationships for people you don't know the sexual identity of... Sorry, that turned into a ramble...
I think the phrase makes sense, but I also feel weird saying it, because I don't want to invalidate other people's (or my own) identities. I'm a bi woman in a heterosexual relationship and I describe it as a "heterosexual relationship," not a straight relationship. Even though it means exactly the same thing, it somehow makes me feel more like I'm acknowledging the difference between the relationship I'm in and my individual identity. Man, labels are hard.
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It doesn't bother me - I'm bi and have referred to my relationships as either "gay" or "straight". If anything I feel like if I mention in conversation a time I was in a "straight relationship" it almost outs me as queer immediately because most straight people just say "relationship" and assume everyone is straight haha.
@@phizzyC straight appearing i think is way better term than straight passing actually! Bc i feel like what ppl call 'straight-passing privilege' only apply to cis bi/pan people who are BOTH gender conforming; it ends up being a very surface level ''privilege'' and it highly depends on certain variables. I understand that there is a higher chance of safety in a ''straight appearing relationship'' than with a ''gay appearing relationship'', but being a nonbinary bisexual myself, I realized an unfortunate fact: I can pass as a ''cis afab person'' right now... but I am not a cis woman. I'm masc leaning, but if I get to transition and pass as ''cis amab'', I am not a cis man. I am nonbinary. If I get a cis boyfriend or a ''cis appearing boyfriend'', (or girlfriend, in case of my masc transition) I feel like focusing on ''straight passing privilege'' ends up invalidating my identity (or both of our identities) simply bc people on the other side are looking through cisheteronormative lenses. The moment gender non conformity enters the scene in any partner of any relationship, most cishet people WILL treat those ppl in the relationship differently, be they cis or trans GNC people. And I understand cishet people will look at us that way bc they have gender roles still firmly in their heads... but it hurts to be seen the same way by ppl in the LGBT+ community, who, historically, has rejected forced gender roles! Again, like I said, I'm not saying it doesn't exist at all - what I'm saying is that there's more nuance that a ton of ppl that AREN'T bi or pan aren't really willing to engage with bc... let's be honest, either they're biphobic, or they need to be more aware of these variables. I personally believe we shouldn't completely divorce sexual orientation identities with gender identities or gender expression - although of course, there is discrimination SPECIFIC to each one, I'm not denying that - but if we know, inequivocally, that intersectionality is a thing... maybe we shouldn't completely separate each experience??? Specially when it comes to how we make surface level assumptions about one another? Like, for example, how some people online legit think it's a ''hot take'' to say trans straight people are on ''thin ice'' just bc they're straight. That's bullcrap, that's not what the LGBT+ community is supposed to stand for. At the end of the day, we all should be fighting for the same goal. I think these debates are of course interesting (if done in good faith) but at the end of the day, maybe we should do them... after we reach the goals we're fighting, for the sake of everyone in the LGBT+ community? Idk, just a thought.
Shaaba, I just wanted to say that you are SO VALID, whether you’re in a gay or straight relationship, with a cis or trans person, no matter what you’re still bi! We all love you ❤️🌈
Although you should never have to explain your sexuality to anyone else as its non of their business, thank you for the video. As a Sis-straight women (i hope I got that right) (born female, identify female, married to a man) it's really helpful information. I never want to offend anyone and I feel both yours and and Jamie's channel is a great place to start to get more educated. Thank you x
Thank you for explaining cis so easily every time I tried to google it or someone else explain they’ve done it so complicated that it has gone over my head. And an another thing why do we have to put a label on someone to love them why can’t we just live them for who they are than make this complicated system. Like I like this human and want spend my life with them!
Such a great educational response to comments that I would probably just ignore because it would make me frustrated. I really appreciate you taking the time to explain to people
I personally don't love applying the term "straight relationship" to describe a relationship involving two people who are not straight. I feel like if two people are both bi, it's a bi relationship. I realize this example begs the question of what you call a relationship between a straight person and a bi person, but I kinda feel the same way about that. I feel like all my relationships are queer no matter what, because I'm queer. I'm sure others feel a variety of ways about their own relationships. I am curious what others think, but I'm not interested in policing anyone's relationship identities (or in having mine policed).
I'm sad you needed to say this out loud, but appreciate you saying it. I'm bi in a straight relationship and have had all the typical "you're not bi anymore because you're in a straight relationship." Be proud for knowing who you are and comfortable in your own skin, irrespective of labels.
I like the way you explained this. It was kind but clear. Sometimes people can be genuinely confused and I appreciate you not just getting mad at them :)
I love and look up to shaaba so much. she'e such an incredible role model , and myself, as a bi, half brown person, she's such a big source of my inspiration. so thank you for everything shaaba 💕
Don't worry Shaaba everyone who wants to understand it already does. It's really simple and not confusing at all. You are very patient with such comments, I wouldn't be able to do that. Love for you and Jamie 💛
Thank you for explaining it with apples and oranges. I'm not the brightest crayon of the box and did not understand all these labels and stuff. I thought the same way as the comments you mentioned but I didn't comment on that because it was not my place. I'm glad that you are educating ignorant people like me. Much love and light to you and Jammi!!
Hi shaaba! I know this is off-topic but your laughter is contagious. I found your channel because of the videos you are in with Jamie and you are such a joyful person to be around, he’s so lucky ❤️
Amazing video Shaaba! I'm really glad you decided to clear this up for the people who needed it because it's really not fair that you receive these types of comments, even if it comes from a place of ignorance, which I'm sure it does at least most of the time. I'm a bisexual woman myself and I totally understand and can relate to the bi struggles. I think you and Jamie are a really cute couple and you're both such amazing people! Love to you both! :)
As a trans man who is exclusively attracted to men Ive had similar comments..... Like I was straight... and still am straight because I'm a biological female and attracted to males. Before I knew I was trans yes I identified as straight. But being male and being exclusively attracted to men I'm definitely not straight! So yes I get the frustration when people don't get it and end up (usually unintentionally) invalidating your whole identity. Hopefully this video will help people to understand it better 🤞
thanks for addressing this, it's always good to hear again. It's a weird ad-on to bi erasure and transphobia. sometimes when you're in a long term relationship with one person, people appear to forget that you are still a very complex being and not just the half that fits your partner (who's also reduced to a half).
I saw the title and knew exactly what this video was gonna be about! I really appreciate that you took the time to make a video about this since it’s something that so many people I know struggle to comprehend💖💜💙🏳️⚧️
I never doubted your bi-ness but it's still a great video also for non-native speakers. somehow I didn't think of the words cis and trans as adjectives and now I've suddenly heard about it twice in one week and my little brain is blown. so many things make sense now lol
Thabk you for this video, I was not questioning yall sexuality but I do like the clarification. I only started to watch some videos from both of you reacting to couples tattoos and I enjoy the chemistry between both of you, either in that or another video he said he was trans man and u had no clue, all I saw was a guy and his girl. :)
Thank you for explaining terminology that can sometimes be confusing, even to me as the most accepting person! I am a "straight" ( I HATE labels!) female who thanks you for explaining things that are not always clear! You are beautiful and awesome! You and Jamie make one heck of a great looking couple!
no shade, but i kept trying to scroll up to see the top of your hair that was cut off from the screen, whoops. great content, glad someone said it, even if you shouldn't've had to.
I 100% understand this. Last few years after my last relationship I've gone on a journey and I believe I'm getting closer to my identity. When I was younger I knew I was not straight but I was definitely not bi. I did not have the same feelings and thought that my other bi, gay or straight friends had. In my twenties I got closer with pansexual. It feel closer to who I was but it was not quite it. Over the last few weeks I realized I'm Pansexual towards women and Demi sexual towards men. The realization has made my life make so much more sense. I don't know if I am done figuring out my identity but I am definitely closer.
Thank you Shaaba. Your point is brilliant and perfect and requires no further explanation. But, I love it so much I'm elaborating on it: I am a tall woman. When I am in a relationship with someone shorter, I am a tall woman. When I am in a relationship with someone my same height, I continue to be a tall woman. Aaaand when I am in a relationship with someone taller, I AM STILL a tall woman. My relationship does not remove my tallness, it simply modifies it.
It's actually so upsetting that people are making these kinds of comments, especially considering I remember you saying that the main reason you hadn't wanted to come out as bi for so long was because you didn't want it to affect how people viewed Jamie or your relationship. What's so difficult to understand here? Love this video Shaaba, you always have such a kind way of saying things
Just a reminder that if you identify as Bi, but also haven't had experiences with either gender, for example; only dated guys but still find girls attractive, then you are still Bi and it's valid 😊❤️ Same goes for all other aspects of our rainbow. Inexperience isn't invalidating as you are still you and how you identify. Also that it's okay to figure shit out and change your labels as you see fit. You do you. 🏳️🌈
Absolutely. I see people erase public figures' bisexuality in this way all the time (i.e. "she's not bi, I don't believe she's ever slept with/dated a girl") and it absolutely infuriates me. Sure, sometimes there's stuff we figure out about our sexuality only by acting on it, but for straight and gay people no-one seems to have a problem understanding that you can be a virgin and still know what your sexuality is. Ugh.
It made perfect sense Shaaba! I think some people are stupid on purpose but I hope your video helps people who are genuinely curious! I’m bi and in a relationship with a straight cis man and it’s genuinely boring the amount of times I’m called straight 🙄 I’d say I’m attracted to women 99%, my partner is just in the 1% of men I find attractive! Definitely not straight! 🥲
The only way Jammi could be a reason for you being bi-sexual would be if you would've felt attracted to him before he came out of the closet as trans, in that scenario you wouldn't have known any better than that Jammi was a woman. But even in that scenario I'd be pretty sure that would've been just a reason and not just the reason since I'm pretty sure you'd experience attraction to more men and women than just romantic partners.
Personally I would say that I’m not in a straight or gay relationship depending on who I’m with because I’m bi - my relationship isn’t straight because I’m not. But identity stuff is so individual and so I know people would disagree on this one
It's scary that you have to explain that, it's quite obvious. Also bi are still bi when they are in a relationship. They don't suddenly become straight or gay depending on the person they're dating.
When you first met Jamie I would be interested to know how you identified, as I understood it Jamie hadn’t started transition (but that’s based off of videos/documentary - and not truth which you clearly lived!!) . I mean ultimately doesn’t really matter! I find your content extremely interesting and really provides education and clarity so thank you for you doing you!
Yes, when she first MET Jamie, he had not come out and started transitioning yet. But they didn't start dating until AFTER he was out, so she knew he was a man BEFORE they ever started dating. So no, dating Jamie didn't change her thinking that she was straight at the time, because she was a woman dating a man.
I'm a pansexual cis woman, married to a bisexual cis man. The hate and prejudice bi and pan people face, even within our own community, is heart breaking. You're bi because that's just who you are. Jamie is bi because that's just who he is. People just need to be kind and keep your business out of their mouths. ^^
Loved this video! Thank you for making it! I’d be curious to hear your thoughts on what a queer relationship can look like. I’ve started to hear more and more the idea that if a queer man and queer woman are dating/married then it’s still a queer relationship because they are queer (even a cis bi man and a cis bi woman). Unlike in this video, you said you’re in a straight relationship. Not saying either side is wrong just thought it was interesting
shabba you're a lovely straight up beautiful woman and I wish you the best, you're a queen, and are a absolutely delightful, you're videos make my day.
shaaba i think the perfect response to 'you can't be bi because you're dating a trans man' should be 'actually we're engaged'
I second this!
Omgggggg 💖
This is so brilliant
engaged and #stillbisexual :)
now they’re married ❤
As a bi person whose been in both gay and straight relationships, people think I'm either gay or straight depending on who I'm with. People forget that if I'm with a man, I'm still bi, same if I'm with a woman, I'm still bi.
Same here.
I’m with a non binary person and I am still bi
@@youareherediversity7321 Whoever your with, male, female, enby or single your still bi.
This is so relatable, it’s so strange
I can relate. It makes me want to scream! Sending virtual hugs to you and anyone else who can relate 🤗
"I'm bi because im me" I really needed to hear that thanks
🥲😊 awww thats really cute
:)
Validation feel so great!
Same
I would wear this merch
Thank you for this video! As a trans guy who's partner happens to be a bisexual man I often get the "ah, I bet him (my partner) being bi makes it easier" or "it makes sense that he's bi because he's with you (me)". It is rude and insulting, since it invalidates how I identify - a gay (trans) guy. Often it is not said out of malice (for example by friends), but please be aware that you are basically misgendering someone and tell them you still see them as their gender assigned at birth. Thank you for taking the time to explain the difference, Shaaba 💜
For straight trans people it might be easier to be with a bi person because they might not have as many judgements on what their partner’s body should look like or as many stereotypes about what gender performances are acceptable. In general a bi man would likely be more accepting of a trans woman or a non-binary person than a straight guy would
I totally get that this comment is really invalidating but honestly I do think it's true (questioning myself, I might add). Because I don't think a lot of people are attracted to gender identities. They are attracted to certain bodies and certain characteristics in personality. If someone doesn't have the genitalia or even secondary sex characteristics you're attracted to, then that might be a dealbreaker for someone. But that doesn't necessarily invalidate a trans persons gender. If you're a person attracted exclusively to vaginas for example and the person you're dating doesn't have a vagina, while still being a cis woman (birth defect, accident, medical condition or maybe just didn't want to have a vagina), that might still not appeal to you. And it doesn't make the cis woman any less of a woman.
So that is why people without a strict genital preference are more likely to be attracted to trans people. And because normal people don't spend 13 hours a day contemplating this shit they say "him being bi must make it easier" instead of "cool that he doesn't care whats in your pants"
PSA: Stop telling other people what their sexualities are
This one's for my Aro companions: we are not Aromantic because we haven't been exposed to the "right" people for us. I'm sure all of you are as tired of hearing that as I am. People who say that probably don't understand what being Aromantic means, but we do and that's what matters 🖤💚
Yes! There's so much misunderstanding around being aromatic, the same goes for asexual.
To further dispell some myths...You _can_ be one without the other (aro without ace or ace without aro), or you can be both, or in the grey zone where there is that one person you're with (but no one else), or maybe you've had past relationships (etc)... but that doesn't diminish how you identify or make it or you any less valid. And it is perfectly possible and valid to be panromantic, biromantic, etc and be asexual, or be bisexual/pansexual/etc but also aromatic. And let's not forget that you can experience love and love someone without it being romantic and/or sexual in nature. Society puts this big focus on romantic love and sexual attraction being inseparably entwined, why can't we normalise having one without the other or even love without either romance/sexual attraction; platonic love is awesome too.
It's taken me a long time to get to grips with the fact that I am & can be biromantic and asexual and that while many people cannot make sense of that, that is their problem not mine.
💚💚💚💚
There’s also a bunch of other sexualities that fall under the ace/aro umbrella that people misunderstand
I know you’ll never meet the right person romantically because romantically there is no right person for you, and that’s completely fine, that’s just how it is
yesss!! it's so frustrating 😔 i don't want to meet the "right person" *because i don't feel attraction*
Thank you 🙏🏽 Because I haven’t come out to a lot of people (I’m both aromantic and asexual), I haven’t had to deal with many comments like these. However, one that I have gotten that stuck with me was “I don’t want you to limit yourself.” What does that even mean? I can’t choose to limit myself…I just don’t feel these kinds of attractions for other people!
I also had something similar happen when I was exploring my gender identity, but that’s a whole other can of worms.
I really hope that as we progress as a society, different sexual orientations and gender identities will be more widely understood.
This was important for you to say, especially since Blaire White recently said in a video she made about ‘super straight’ that she didn’t think gay guys who are attracted to trans men, are actually as gay as they say they are. She also said she doesn’t think her boyfriend is straight because he’s attracted to her. And this is VERY problematic (as you said, Shaaba) since Blaire White, as a trans women, is implying that she isn’t really a girl. So thanks for this.
I hate ever having supported Blaire. She is so damaging for the trans community.
@@Tree173 oof, same. I did watch her vids last year around this time because the ones I watched were informative (like the Trisha Paytas reaction one and a few others) and in those ones she wasn't as bad as I hear she is now. Also Calvin, he was such an absolute factor of my own hatred because of his constant invalidation of my gender identity. Trans people should be supportive of other (valid) identities
how is a trans person transphobic?????
There's a thing called internalized bigotry and sadly a lot of people suffer from it, including myself (internalized ableism in my case)
Bi erasure is so strong that people are really out here trying to say that Jamie is a woman *eyeroll*
ok so I know this wasn't the main topic of the video but hearing Shaaba refer to herself as "plump" was just so validating?? Shaaba's honesty and self-acceptance have been a huge influence for myself as a plump woman myself. I'm so grateful to have her out here creating content about her journey of self-love and self-acceptance, even though I'm sure she has days where she struggles with it too. Thank you Shaaba for being an honest and positive role model for this corner of the internet!
I feel that being told that you were only bi (as a cis person) because you had a trans partner would be doubly invalidating. It invalidates both the trans person's identity and your own identity in who you are sexually and/or romantically attracted to.
We love a Bi queen 🙌
absolutely
do bi people in male/female relationships always have to be referred to as having a 'straight relationship'?? i'm a bisexual woman, and if i were to date a man i wouldn't want it to be called a 'straight' relationship, because i'm not straight at all, and it would make me uncomfortable as a bisexual person to have a relationship referred to as 'straight' when i'm not straight myself. i also think it encourages the stereotype that bi people are 'half straight and half gay' which is also quite uncomfortable and invalidating to bisexuality. so is the terminology 'straight relationship' just something that bi people can choose to use if they prefer to?
Yes, people who prefer to use that terminology definitely can. It doesn't make everyone uncomfortable, just some people. I have to say, I totally understand where you're coming from because it makes me uncomfortable too. However, I can't tell anyone how to refer to their own relationship and if they don't have a problem describing it like that, then it's not my business and I stay out of it. As long as no one describes my relationships like that, I'm fine with it. I personally say "opposite sex" or "same sex" relationship rather than straight or gay/lesbian relationship. To each their own though.
@@BeautyMonster1000 oh yeah i agree with that, thank you
I have the same problem and maybe you could say you have a queer relationship because at least some partner is LGBTQ+? I usually refer to my relationship as a straight relationship because of the appearance (cisman + ciswoman) but if you are uncomfortable, maybe queer would be a good adjective. It doesn't change/influence your husband's sexuality and doesn't say "straight" :-) As long as you are happy with it and people (at least from certain circles) understand you, it's fine.
I've gone with the label of queer for my past relationships too! I've always found that the most comfortable and accurate when one of the partners is bi :) Just a little thing to help combat bi erasure
@@PurplePandaK I disagree with the implication that calling a relationship that a bisexual person is in 'straight' is erasure. That's the term I prefer to use for my relationship. It doesn't reflect on my identity, just on who is in the relationship-in this case, a woman and a man. I respect that many bisexuals aren't cool with that word being applied to theirs, and that's totally valid, but I'm not committing erasure against myself by describing my relationship the way that feels correct to me.
Using adjective examples for Jamie and dropping ”handsome” in there made my heart go 🥺💞💞💞 aaaaa you two are sooo sweet
I’m bisexual, and I recently came out as one. I have liked more males than females, does that make me less of a bisexual biscuit? No. I’ve never dated anyone before, does that make me asexual/aromantic? No. I know my sexual identity even if I just came out.
Honestly this is a great video to have bookmarked for when you need to share a video to *that* family member or *that* fb friend who posts uneducated things about trans relationships. Like Shaaba is just so personable and amiable that the message actually has a chance of getting through.
All the "bi" puns as you were saying "bye" had me snickering. 💖💜💙
Me too, I love a good bi pun. They're biconic 😉😂
... I'll show myself out.
@@hawkeyescoffee6399 yup, the door is right there. Goodbi.... 🤣🤣
👉😎👉
I've come across people thinking that being bi or pansexual means that you have multiple partners or that you will definitely have more than one partner simultaneously. So if you're in a long-term relationship with one person it no longer fits with their view of bi or pan, therefore 'you' must have changed 🤦♀️
That explains a lot! I'm pan, cis female and a grandmother, have had relationships with/dated cis men and cis women, who were themselves gay, bi or straight. Twice married to men, once engaged to a lovely lady. Gender is not an important factor for me, it's just about personality, chemistry, I don't know exactly. I feel it for some people and not others, just like everyone else. I fall in love, and have monogamous, happy and fulfilling relationships. Just like everyone else. Why is that so hard to understand for some people.
@@kayew5492 I don't know why it's hard to understand. Congratulations to you, for following your heart. Sending much love your way, Kaye.
*poly has entered the chat*
Yep, I have never understood that. Like people think bi people are more prone to cheating or something, or that they can't be satisfied with just one partner because they will always be wanting a second partner of a different sex to....complete the collection or something? I have no idea. Never made any sense to me.
@@thatjillgirl I agree: It doesn't make any sense to me either. It's like saying to any human: You CANNOT be monogamous otherwise you will not fit my frame of reference. You MUST have multiple partners or else nothing makes sense. - I'm being a bit dramatic here, but that is the ridiculous perception I have heard and received. It's a statement from ignorance of nuance, sexuality, individuality and lack of one's own bias (one or all of these), imho.
I am bisexual and people keep calling me pan and saying I can't like all genders if I am bi.For more context i like nonbinary,male,and female.
That’s so annoying. Other people can’t tell you how YOU should identify. If you’re looking for a way to help these people understand, I define my bisexuality as being attracted to 2 groups: people of my own gender, and people of other genders. Give me all the genders. 🧡
I think that there is a whole fuss over pan and bi, and the definitions are evolving. I like the term pan, gender is not significant in who I am attracted to, but bi is a comfortable and familiar term, I am attracted to more than 1 gender. I have been asked if I am attracted to my partner in all gender presentations, I usually answer that I am bi, so yes.
Fellow bi-identifying person here who is attracted to all genders. You are valid! I use the term bi because it feels right for me. It doesn't matter what other people think.
@@jessicajasper5527 Thanks so much for telling me this on that comment where I was being told that kind of stuff it got so bad I just deleted because I couldn't deal with people saying what I identify as is wrong anymore.
@@fina_Soma You are so welcome! People are often quick to try to tell you who you are, but only you know your own identity. And your opinion of yourself is the only one that matters!
I usually use the term "straight-assuming" to describe relationships that seem straight to people who aren't in the know about the people's sexual identities :) but of course I have no say in how people label themselves/their relationships. Love the vid
This right here. Well said, Shaaba. I'm asexual and for years thought I was bi because I felt equal (aesthetic) attraction to ppl of all genders, it took a while to realise that since the amount of sexual attraction was none I wasn't actually bi, but it's comments like "oh, you're attracted to/with so-and-so that must make you X-orientation" and no. Just no. My orientation (or yours) is mine (or yours) to determine, and all those invalidating comments may be coming from a place of ppl trying to understand, but are really hard when they keep happening. When I came out to my mum she said I couldn't be ace because I'd had crushes on guys as a kid and... no, I had squishes, and crushes are not sexual attraction. They're crushes. MT sexual orientation is not based on who I have crushes on or I'd be bi/pan because gals and nonbinary pals are just as attractive to me as the guys I had crushes on. And for that matter I'd probably also be into cars as well (I really should have known I was ace a lot sooner because my thing for a really good looking car felt the same as my thing for a really attractive person *visible ace confusion at aesthetic attraction versus compulsory heterosexuality*). Really thoughtful video, Shaaba, thank you! ♥
hello fellow ace
Ah, yes. My teenage confusion as an aroace that had yet to discover any other identities than straight/gay 😅 Was very, very confused with aesthetic attraction towards girls, because yes, girls are cute as heck, but I didn't want to date one, but did that still make me lesbian? Meanwhile, guys never woke anything at all in me, adding to the confusion pile :'D Took all the way into my twenties to figure out myself, finally gaining knowledge of other orientations. I still vividly remember the "oh SNAP"-moment when it clicked xD
@@elieli2893 Oh wow, I relate to much! I started learning about the LGBTQ+ communitiy as a teenager, thought I was a latebloomer and also afraid of maybe 'finding out' I was gay (bc of homophobia)bc I found so many people with black hair (for some reason) of all genders really pretty. Now in my 20s I know I have never been sexually attracted to anyone, just aesthetically, and that ('Oh snap' as well) I am aro ace :)
Great comment!!!
Thanks to you and jamie for being the icons I needed to figure out I was bi
Love you guys
*bicons
Sorry I had to
"Drop a comment downstairs and we'll have a chat"
Please I love that 😭
I feel like this distinction is so important. I identify as a cisgender lesbian and I have a trans wife. She is my love and my beautiful wife. I always find it invalidating when people think that that MEANS that I am bisexual or something else. I am a lesbian because I love women.
I've seen a meme once that was something like :
nobody :
a well-spoken women explaining something in a perfectly clear way : I hope that makes sense, I feel like I'm just rambling
You give me this energy 100% haha. You couldn't be more clear and articulate, you don't need to apologize for anything! :D
Excellently explained, thank you Shaaba! "I'm bi because I'm me" was so wonderful to hear 💙💜❤
As a fellow bi, the concept of 'straight' or 'gay' relationships feels strange, though I can see how it's a quicker & simpler description than 'relationship involving the same/different gender'. Probably personal preference, but if someone described my relationship as straight it'd feel like they were describing me as straight too, which is uncomfortable. Idk, I'll go think on this.
I love how you and Jaime talk about stuff. It feels so comfortable and nonconfrontational! Sometimes, it's hard to for me to explain my feelings and thoughts because i get super passionate and it ends up coming off as angry and argumentative, when sometimes I just need to explain things! It really helps to have examples of how to talk about this kind of stuff, especially since my parents dont. :)
Hello everyone, how are you all? I hope you are doing well. Have a fantastic week and remember that someone out there cares about you and you will always be valid. I am always here for anyone who needs help, I will always care about all you lovely people, stay safe and be well.
You are at all of my favourite channels-
Hi :O I recognise you from discord lmao I like seeing others from the spud army server :)))
This is so wholesome and made my day, lots of love from the Netherlands !❤️
thank you for this :)))
You're a very nice person
I just learned, I’m a Cis Straight woman married to a Cis Straight man. Obviously, I didn’t just learn this about myself, but I DID just learn how to verbalize it. I admit, I do get a little lost with all different circumstantial relationships.
Educating ourselves is sooo important. My hope is to reduce the chance of ever offending anyone and build a deeper understanding, connection and relationship with my gay friends/family, their partners or potential new friends. I still have a lot to learn. I hope to create a safe space and be apart of their lives.
GIRL YOU HAVE SO MUCH PATIENCE
Nice. Good video for clarity. Can everyone stop telling others what their sexuality is please now. 😁💖
AGREED!
speaking of which: I think it's a good idea with the different poly orientations (bi, pan, omni, poly, etc.) to not try to define the label if explaining it, but say something like
"I identify as bi. I am attracted to people of my gender and people not of my gender" as opposed to " I'm bi, *that* means..."
the idea being to describe yourself, disconnecting the description from the label.
I think that would help reduce feeling like people are dictating other's orientations.
Thank you for this video! I’m also in a straight relationship and people always presume I’m straight and it drives me crazy
Do any of you dislike the phrase "straight relationship?" If one or both people in the relationship aren't straight despite being a man and a woman who are together, I tend to not call it a straight relationship. I just call it a relationship lol. Maybe that's just me though.
I consider it another word for heterosexual relationship, which is an accurate term for a man and woman together. I don’t think the adjective used to describe the relationship implies anything about the sexuality of the people involved, rather it’s a description of the genders of the partners. I agree that you could just say “relationship” but there are conversations in which further description might be needed. Such as this video.
I always thought I should use the term "straight appearing relationship" or "gay appearing relationship" because the relationship will appear straight/gay to the outside world but that doesn't make the people involved straight/gay... I agree they should just be called relationships though, too many people still seem hung up on the idea that not everyone is straight 🤯 - also, only calling a relationship a "relationship", without the adjective in front, if you know the people aren't both straight means you might still be classifying relationships for people you don't know the sexual identity of... Sorry, that turned into a ramble...
I think the phrase makes sense, but I also feel weird saying it, because I don't want to invalidate other people's (or my own) identities. I'm a bi woman in a heterosexual relationship and I describe it as a "heterosexual relationship," not a straight relationship. Even though it means exactly the same thing, it somehow makes me feel more like I'm acknowledging the difference between the relationship I'm in and my individual identity. Man, labels are hard.
It doesn't bother me - I'm bi and have referred to my relationships as either "gay" or "straight". If anything I feel like if I mention in conversation a time I was in a "straight relationship" it almost outs me as queer immediately because most straight people just say "relationship" and assume everyone is straight haha.
@@phizzyC straight appearing i think is way better term than straight passing actually! Bc i feel like what ppl call 'straight-passing privilege' only apply to cis bi/pan people who are BOTH gender conforming; it ends up being a very surface level ''privilege'' and it highly depends on certain variables. I understand that there is a higher chance of safety in a ''straight appearing relationship'' than with a ''gay appearing relationship'', but being a nonbinary bisexual myself, I realized an unfortunate fact: I can pass as a ''cis afab person'' right now... but I am not a cis woman. I'm masc leaning, but if I get to transition and pass as ''cis amab'', I am not a cis man. I am nonbinary. If I get a cis boyfriend or a ''cis appearing boyfriend'', (or girlfriend, in case of my masc transition) I feel like focusing on ''straight passing privilege'' ends up invalidating my identity (or both of our identities) simply bc people on the other side are looking through cisheteronormative lenses.
The moment gender non conformity enters the scene in any partner of any relationship, most cishet people WILL treat those ppl in the relationship differently, be they cis or trans GNC people. And I understand cishet people will look at us that way bc they have gender roles still firmly in their heads... but it hurts to be seen the same way by ppl in the LGBT+ community, who, historically, has rejected forced gender roles! Again, like I said, I'm not saying it doesn't exist at all - what I'm saying is that there's more nuance that a ton of ppl that AREN'T bi or pan aren't really willing to engage with bc... let's be honest, either they're biphobic, or they need to be more aware of these variables.
I personally believe we shouldn't completely divorce sexual orientation identities with gender identities or gender expression - although of course, there is discrimination SPECIFIC to each one, I'm not denying that - but if we know, inequivocally, that intersectionality is a thing... maybe we shouldn't completely separate each experience??? Specially when it comes to how we make surface level assumptions about one another? Like, for example, how some people online legit think it's a ''hot take'' to say trans straight people are on ''thin ice'' just bc they're straight. That's bullcrap, that's not what the LGBT+ community is supposed to stand for.
At the end of the day, we all should be fighting for the same goal. I think these debates are of course interesting (if done in good faith) but at the end of the day, maybe we should do them... after we reach the goals we're fighting, for the sake of everyone in the LGBT+ community? Idk, just a thought.
"And short... which I am. And brown... which I am. And plump... which I am"
I love her sense of humour 😂
Shaaba is the bubbly mom presence that I needed right now. 💜
Shaaba, I just wanted to say that you are SO VALID, whether you’re in a gay or straight relationship, with a cis or trans person, no matter what you’re still bi! We all love you ❤️🌈
Shaaba I love you- thank you for this, “I’m bi because I’m me” 💕
You did an excellent job of explaining yourself (although you should never need to)! I think this will help a lot of people “get it”. 😊
Sometimes I think you are too kind, I wouldn't be so understanding after all the messages to be honest 😂
Although you should never have to explain your sexuality to anyone else as its non of their business, thank you for the video. As a Sis-straight women (i hope I got that right) (born female, identify female, married to a man) it's really helpful information. I never want to offend anyone and I feel both yours and and Jamie's channel is a great place to start to get more educated. Thank you x
Ahh yes, the best kind of bi erasure, the one where your actual partner defines your sexuality.
Thank you for explaining cis so easily every time I tried to google it or someone else explain they’ve done it so complicated that it has gone over my head.
And an another thing why do we have to put a label on someone to love them why can’t we just live them for who they are than make this complicated system. Like I like this human and want spend my life with them!
Such a great educational response to comments that I would probably just ignore because it would make me frustrated. I really appreciate you taking the time to explain to people
I personally don't love applying the term "straight relationship" to describe a relationship involving two people who are not straight. I feel like if two people are both bi, it's a bi relationship. I realize this example begs the question of what you call a relationship between a straight person and a bi person, but I kinda feel the same way about that. I feel like all my relationships are queer no matter what, because I'm queer. I'm sure others feel a variety of ways about their own relationships. I am curious what others think, but I'm not interested in policing anyone's relationship identities (or in having mine policed).
I'm sad you needed to say this out loud, but appreciate you saying it. I'm bi in a straight relationship and have had all the typical "you're not bi anymore because you're in a straight relationship."
Be proud for knowing who you are and comfortable in your own skin, irrespective of labels.
Really don't get how this is complicated and people aren't getting this. Sending you much love 💖
I like the way you explained this. It was kind but clear. Sometimes people can be genuinely confused and I appreciate you not just getting mad at them :)
you really made me smile with the label explanation! Needed that today, thank you Shaaba
I love and look up to shaaba so much. she'e such an incredible role model , and myself, as a bi, half brown person, she's such a big source of my inspiration. so thank you for everything shaaba 💕
Don't worry Shaaba everyone who wants to understand it already does. It's really simple and not confusing at all. You are very patient with such comments, I wouldn't be able to do that. Love for you and Jamie 💛
Thank you for explaining it with apples and oranges. I'm not the brightest crayon of the box and did not understand all these labels and stuff. I thought the same way as the comments you mentioned but I didn't comment on that because it was not my place. I'm glad that you are educating ignorant people like me. Much love and light to you and Jammi!!
you forgot adorable in your adjectives.
Hi shaaba! I know this is off-topic but your laughter is contagious. I found your channel because of the videos you are in with Jamie and you are such a joyful person to be around, he’s so lucky ❤️
Well said Shaaba! Sexuality is such a complicated thing to explain but you did a fine job indeed. Thank you from a CIS sis.
Amazing video Shaaba! I'm really glad you decided to clear this up for the people who needed it because it's really not fair that you receive these types of comments, even if it comes from a place of ignorance, which I'm sure it does at least most of the time. I'm a bisexual woman myself and I totally understand and can relate to the bi struggles. I think you and Jamie are a really cute couple and you're both such amazing people! Love to you both! :)
Your explanation could not be any clearer and very to the point. Loved it!
What is it with people who are not bisexual always acting like they know what bisexuality is better than we do ourselves? Not cool, people.
As a trans man who is exclusively attracted to men Ive had similar comments..... Like I was straight... and still am straight because I'm a biological female and attracted to males. Before I knew I was trans yes I identified as straight. But being male and being exclusively attracted to men I'm definitely not straight! So yes I get the frustration when people don't get it and end up (usually unintentionally) invalidating your whole identity. Hopefully this video will help people to understand it better 🤞
So...now you are not straight right?
@@vivaciousmyosotis that's correct I identify as male and I'm attracted to men therefore I'm a gay man
thanks for addressing this, it's always good to hear again. It's a weird ad-on to bi erasure and transphobia. sometimes when you're in a long term relationship with one person, people appear to forget that you are still a very complex being and not just the half that fits your partner (who's also reduced to a half).
I saw the title and knew exactly what this video was gonna be about! I really appreciate that you took the time to make a video about this since it’s something that so many people I know struggle to comprehend💖💜💙🏳️⚧️
I love how you handled this topic! Well done!!🤩💕
I know you are bi... because you told me so. That's it
I never doubted your bi-ness but it's still a great video also for non-native speakers. somehow I didn't think of the words cis and trans as adjectives and now I've suddenly heard about it twice in one week and my little brain is blown. so many things make sense now lol
you are one of the best humans out there ❤
loving the bi octopus in the background
I just hope that we see your channel get to over 100k before the wedding. I am sure that you are looking forward to the play button.
Thabk you for this video, I was not questioning yall sexuality but I do like the clarification. I only started to watch some videos from both of you reacting to couples tattoos and I enjoy the chemistry between both of you, either in that or another video he said he was trans man and u had no clue, all I saw was a guy and his girl. :)
Thank you for explaining terminology that can sometimes be confusing, even to me as the most accepting person! I am a "straight" ( I HATE labels!) female who thanks you for explaining things that are not always clear! You are beautiful and awesome! You and Jamie make one heck of a great looking couple!
You did an amazing job at saying that!💕 Thankyou for continuing spreading more awareness and kindness!💙🥰
Thank you for your explanation! I have definitely been confused by it but your explanation made it totally clear and understandable. Xx
Is it weird that am falling in love with these two channels?
no shade, but i kept trying to scroll up to see the top of your hair that was cut off from the screen, whoops. great content, glad someone said it, even if you shouldn't've had to.
Well said little one. Hold your ground (like a tough little sweet-pea).
I 100% understand this. Last few years after my last relationship I've gone on a journey and I believe I'm getting closer to my identity. When I was younger I knew I was not straight but I was definitely not bi. I did not have the same feelings and thought that my other bi, gay or straight friends had. In my twenties I got closer with pansexual. It feel closer to who I was but it was not quite it. Over the last few weeks I realized I'm Pansexual towards women and Demi sexual towards men. The realization has made my life make so much more sense. I don't know if I am done figuring out my identity but I am definitely closer.
Thank you Shaba. I have to deal with those kinds of questions myself.
the hair is gorgeous!
great video! shaaba and her channel are so wholesome
Thank you Shaaba. Your point is brilliant and perfect and requires no further explanation. But, I love it so much I'm elaborating on it: I am a tall woman. When I am in a relationship with someone shorter, I am a tall woman. When I am in a relationship with someone my same height, I continue to be a tall woman. Aaaand when I am in a relationship with someone taller, I AM STILL a tall woman. My relationship does not remove my tallness, it simply modifies it.
Great video and explanation
Love the fact that you are true to yourself!
🤍💜💙
It's actually so upsetting that people are making these kinds of comments, especially considering I remember you saying that the main reason you hadn't wanted to come out as bi for so long was because you didn't want it to affect how people viewed Jamie or your relationship. What's so difficult to understand here? Love this video Shaaba, you always have such a kind way of saying things
Just a reminder that if you identify as Bi, but also haven't had experiences with either gender, for example; only dated guys but still find girls attractive, then you are still Bi and it's valid 😊❤️
Same goes for all other aspects of our rainbow. Inexperience isn't invalidating as you are still you and how you identify. Also that it's okay to figure shit out and change your labels as you see fit. You do you. 🏳️🌈
👏👏👏
Absolutely. I see people erase public figures' bisexuality in this way all the time (i.e. "she's not bi, I don't believe she's ever slept with/dated a girl") and it absolutely infuriates me. Sure, sometimes there's stuff we figure out about our sexuality only by acting on it, but for straight and gay people no-one seems to have a problem understanding that you can be a virgin and still know what your sexuality is. Ugh.
What a simple and beautiful video! Thank you for brightening my day!
Yes, this explanation does make sense.
It made perfect sense Shaaba! I think some people are stupid on purpose but I hope your video helps people who are genuinely curious!
I’m bi and in a relationship with a straight cis man and it’s genuinely boring the amount of times I’m called straight 🙄 I’d say I’m attracted to women 99%, my partner is just in the 1% of men I find attractive! Definitely not straight! 🥲
The only way Jammi could be a reason for you being bi-sexual would be if you would've felt attracted to him before he came out of the closet as trans, in that scenario you wouldn't have known any better than that Jammi was a woman. But even in that scenario I'd be pretty sure that would've been just a reason and not just the reason since I'm pretty sure you'd experience attraction to more men and women than just romantic partners.
Personally I would say that I’m not in a straight or gay relationship depending on who I’m with because I’m bi - my relationship isn’t straight because I’m not. But identity stuff is so individual and so I know people would disagree on this one
I think this is a very clear explanation, thank you.
I really appreciate this explanation! That’s why I love you. I’m old enough to be stupid these days! I’m trying to learn and understand ❤️
It's scary that you have to explain that, it's quite obvious.
Also bi are still bi when they are in a relationship. They don't suddenly become straight or gay depending on the person they're dating.
When you first met Jamie I would be interested to know how you identified, as I understood it Jamie hadn’t started transition (but that’s based off of videos/documentary - and not truth which you clearly lived!!) . I mean ultimately doesn’t really matter! I find your content extremely interesting and really provides education and clarity so thank you for you doing you!
She explained all of that on her bisexuality video, the one she was referencing 😀
@@unouni2548 thanks I will take a look!
Yes, when she first MET Jamie, he had not come out and started transitioning yet. But they didn't start dating until AFTER he was out, so she knew he was a man BEFORE they ever started dating. So no, dating Jamie didn't change her thinking that she was straight at the time, because she was a woman dating a man.
the ending was so cute 😭😭😭 and this whole video well-said ilu bicon
I'm a pansexual cis woman, married to a bisexual cis man. The hate and prejudice bi and pan people face, even within our own community, is heart breaking. You're bi because that's just who you are. Jamie is bi because that's just who he is. People just need to be kind and keep your business out of their mouths. ^^
You must give the best hugs
The takes that the straights make always astound me. The get so creative so they don't have to respect people.
I didn't know you had a channel! Great! Here for it. :D
What really got me was when my mom and dad used to refer to me as a lesbian... even after I came out to them as a bisexual trans guy skskgkl
Loved this video! Thank you for making it! I’d be curious to hear your thoughts on what a queer relationship can look like. I’ve started to hear more and more the idea that if a queer man and queer woman are dating/married then it’s still a queer relationship because they are queer (even a cis bi man and a cis bi woman). Unlike in this video, you said you’re in a straight relationship. Not saying either side is wrong just thought it was interesting
Omg, your bye bi bye at the end killed me!
shabba you're a lovely straight up beautiful woman and I wish you the best, you're a queen, and are a absolutely delightful, you're videos make my day.
Love watching your videos. Getting smarter every day.