Omg that "cleaning fee" story. Yes. Sexism. BUT ALSO, she only said no when the only person she really knows and the only person she knows is actively advocating for her won't be there. 100% suspect she doesn't feel comfortable with his family yet.
The first story lol. ESH. A golden retriever approached your toddler and you didn't notice until it was nosing your child? Have some self awareness when you're in public with your little one, and then don't touch the dog? Wtf? A dog approaches my toddler, and I pick my toddler up. Basic parenting. Being reactive to the dog can make the dog reactive. It was also not ok for the dog owner to allow the dog to approach the child without permission. People generally don't want unfamiliar dogs to approach their kids unless they have assurance that the dog is friendly. Sometimes not even then, and that is ok.
Absolutely, no one is acknowledging that the owner had a responsibility to keep an eye and a hand on the dog. It’s not okay for you to let your dog to get into a kid’s face, especially if it’s a service dog. I might have gently pushed the dog away as well if it wasn’t moving on its own.
This is what I was thinking as well. The dad is definitely more the drama for sure! The hip check was Not Ok. But the dogs owner, while reasonably upset about the dad's actions, shouldn't have allowed his service dog to be that close to someone else's child. And the 'what else do you expect in a dog friendly place' excuse was badly used.
Another issue I have with the first OP's actions is that freaking out and reacting aggressively towards a dog that just approached and sniffed the toddler sends a message to the kid that the dog is something to fear. If OP had just calmly been like 'oh, gonna pick you up now' the kid would read the situation as no big deal. If they're not already afraid of dogs (which it doesn't seem like they are from what was said), this strikes me as a great way to teach them that they should be
yup, this sounds like the dad has issues with dogs and is gonna transfer them to his kid, also lots of people are saying the dog handler shouldn't have allowed the dog to approach the child but what if it's a blind person? (Sighted people often suck at detecting somebody's blind). I can't fathom any other reason why the dad didn't just pick up his kid instead of being agressive toward the dog.
While I agree that the dad reacted badly, no one should ever allow their dog, service or not, to approach someone else's small child without communication and permission. ESH.
@@cathleenc6943nah. They might be blind or have other issues here they needed more than 2 seconds to realize that. It is NOT anyone else's responsibility to mangr YOUR triggers and phobias. Dude needs therapy. That's all that matters.
Service dog trainer and handler here. The first scenario is an ESH, but with the OP being much more in the wrong. Service dogs go through extensive training and, ideally, should ignore everyone around them except for their handler while on the job. Yes, dogs can and do make mistakes, but it is on the service dog handler to ensure their dog maintains appropriate standards of behavior while working. If my service dog were to try to sniff someone while on duty, she would get a quick verbal cue to "leave it," which she would immediately respond to because she's had so much training around that command. She's simply not going around sniffing people in stores, much less doing so long enough for them to try to do anything about it. Not only does the law require service dog handlers to ensure their dogs behave appropriately in public, it's also a matter of common decency and respect. Other people may have allergies, phobias, etc. My dog is there to help me safely navigate in public. Not to make other people uncomfortable. That said, you're absolutely spot on that the OP was *far* more in the wrong here. "Hip checking" the dog in question could have injured it. Aside from that being bad on its own accord, injuring a service dog also strips the handler of their freedom for anywhere from weeks to years, depending on if the dog can recover or not. Even if the dog wasn't injured, forcibly moving it could have caused the handler to fall if the dog was providing balance/mobility assistance. And even if the dog was not providing mobility assistance, touching or otherwise attempting to interact with the dog in any way can distract a service dog during a crucial moment and cause significant harm to the handler. OP should have simply pulled their child away. Just because a dog sniffs your child doesn't give you the right to put that dog *and* its handler at risk of serious harm when it's easy enough to simply move your child away. Tl;dr: Everybody sucks here. Dog handler should have been paying closer attention and stopped the dog's sniffing immediately. OP should never have touched (much less "hip checked") the dog, and should simply have moved their child instead.
The thing is. I don’t think this was a service dog. Home Depot is a dog friendly store. As in you can bring your dog with you. Which the dog owner pointed out. So I suspect the dog may have just had some sort of vest on and this wasn’t even a case of a fake service dog.
@kathleenkilmartin5494 It might have been a pet. It might also have been a service dog in training (some service dogs in training may start at pet friendly stores during the early stages of public access training, depending on the dog and trainer involved, plus a few more factors). It may also have been a fully fledged service dog that was having an off day, or just got distracted by a particularly interesting smelling toddler. Obviously service dogs are trained not to smell random people, but they do make mistakes, which is where a good handler would step in. My original comment is simply taking the situation at face value. I do think the handler's comment about it being a pet friendly store is a bit odd, since it really shouldn't have any bearing on the behavior of a service dog on the job. But either way, OP was wrong for hip checking the dog. If the dog is not a service dog, there's a higher chance it might attack someone for shoving it. If it is a service dog (as OP clearly believed), you're putting the dog and its handler at risk. You're right that we can't know for sure if the dog was a service dog, but either way OP's actions were not the best idea.
Hey, As you are a prof service dog trainer here- i just have two questions: 1)is it possible that the dog was still in training? From the story it seems like the reaction was immedaite so maybe the OP reponded before the handler? 2) is there any way for people with vision issues to notice that? i konw that doesn't have to be the case in this instance as a service dog can support for many different reasons but I was always curious and no amount of research answered my question.
@@kathleenkilmartin5494 exactly. I want to know what the vest was. If it was a "service dog vest" handler needs to be educated. I have read stories from the low vision community being denied because fake service dogs ruin things. Yes you can sue under ADA in the US. However it ia headache and doesn't help in the moment. I work retail and see so many fake service dog. We are only allowed to ask "What service does the dog provide?" A lot says helps with stress which makes it an emotional support animal . Which is different then a service animal a different rules/laws. Parent still over reacted in a dog friendly store. On a side note service dogs do not need a vest in the US. Sorry I babble cause this is a pet peeve of mine.
FYI - Home Depot stores (pronounced with a long e) are one of the few reliably indoor dog-friendly places here in the US (not just service dogs, all dogs as long as they are behaved). I’ve always assumed this is because the farmers’ or handyman’s dog riding around with him in the back of a pickup truck (though rare these days in areas where I live now) is imagery as American as apple pie. People often bring service dogs in training to them to practice being around other people/dogs/noises/smells, so it’s very likely this was a service dog in training. To give more context for those unfamiliar - Home Depot sells tools and materials for building and renovation projects (lumber, hand and power tools, tile, paint, etc). It’s just about the least toddler-safe public place I can think of. I’m not saying don’t bring your kids (my dad was a contractor and brought me all the time). Everyone their own style of parenting and level of risk they’re willing to accept, but personally this is a “ride in the cart or hold my hand at all times” environment for my 2 year old. Tough to imagine a scenario where a dog would approach without first going through me.
With the airport story The whole, why should we both struggle argument is so wrong too, like, it's not just, we both struggle or you struggle, it's you struggle, or we share that struggle and make it slightly smaller than it would have been for just you to handle, that's friendship/empathy
First red flag was "now I don't dislike the girl". that's not how you talk about someone you like, that's how you describe someone you tolerate. Then the "some girl my son is dating" yep mask off, she doesn't like this girl, which she doesn't have to but doesn't entitle her to treat the gf badly.
If OP in the service dog story lives in a country where it gets dark early in the day, and this post is from around this time of year… the dog could’ve been wearing a reflective vest meant for dogs to make them more visible in the dark. Vest on a dog does not automatically mean service dog. Tho tbf we don’t know what the vest looked like as OP didn’t give any details on that.
15:51 shaaba! my friend is a tall white American man, with a German name. his father is Lebanese, but you would never tell by looking at him. he gets "randomly" selected for additional security review each time he flies. each. time. ever. so yes, airport security really be out here trying to get BIPOC.
If he is white with American passport and German name, and one wouldn't be able to tell he is half Lebanese, how would they pick him as BIPOC? Did I misunderstand your message?
@@soundlessbee could just not "pass" enough. My dad was always stopped with his very white american self, with one of those super common white last names, but he tans easy. So tall stocky dark haired tan man (he was a construction worker, so outside and strong) with mustache, was stopped constantly.
@@ghjgme I know someone who is a large man, but couldn't possibly be mistaken as anything but white, who always gets stopped. I don't think BIPOC are the only people who constantly have issues at airports, so it doesn't make sense to say that someone gets stopped because they are POC, if no-one can tell they are. That's why I got confused by the original comment.
@@soundlessbee I'm not saying I'm right, I am from an area with a high middle eastern population (many Lebanese) and many are lighter skin, so I was curious on how "white passing" they are perceived.
If the airport had those like capsule hotels I would have paid for the friend to stay in one of those. Yes you're having to pay but that's better than sleeping alone on the floor. I also agree they could have bought phone chargers in the airport. They would be overpriced but they would be a necessity especially if they were going to split up. I feel like there were definitely some better unexplored solutions to this problem
Story 1: Completely agree, move your own child not the other person's dog. Story 2: My spouse had a long layover in China while flying to Korea and despite not having a Chinese visa they were able to stay in a hotel (with a transfer visa that they were given for that specific purpose) since it was less than 72 hours. I'm curious about how things are in Europe, do they really straight up not allow travelers to leave the airport without a visa? But regardless, there are a million things OP could have done better. Story 3: OP is already a nightmare MIL to her teenage son's GF and with all of the sexism to boot. Still giving the son a brownie badge because he gets angry on GF's behalf but OP's attitude toward the chores and GF's offer to help on her own terms has rescinded hers. Story 4: Speaking of a nightmare MIL... the fact that she wouldn't care about OP's choice to temporarily be a stay at home partner if he was a woman and only cares because he's a man really says it all.
The airport story got me. My partner and I once flew back from Jordan to the UK. Pre-Brexit so my German passport was as good as her English one. During the flight an elderly Jordanian woman had a medical crisis. I think it might have been a heart attack. It wasn't exactly broadcast over the speakers. But we were immediately diverted to the nearest airport which happened to be in Puglia/Italy. The woman and her family were carted off to receive medical aid - brilliant. Unfortunately by that time our pilot had exceeded his maximum work hours. We could not go on and had a surprise overnight stay in Puglia. Now comes the kicker. All the non-Jordanians on this Jordanian flight got accommodation, all Jordanians had to stay behind in the tiny airport lounge (imagine those seats with armrests just to prevent you from lying down). There was a highly pregnant young woman, I cannot imagine how uncomfortable this must have been. But they didn't have an Italian visa, they only had one for the UK. Common sense is frequently uncommon in these situations. But as bad as I felt, what could we realistically have done to help?
I mean, maybe you could have bought a camping mattress for the pregnancy lady or something, but I don't blame you for doing nothing because none of these people were your bestie that you were travelling with.
@@latronqui erm, a tiny regional airport in the most rural area of Italy, at midnight? There was nothing open. We weren't scheduled to land there, so there was hardly any staff. I just recounted the story to point out how casually cruel systems can be. Were they afraid the Jordanians would run off into the Italian night? Hide under the shuttle seats to escape? That experience just always stuck with me. Two tier travel!
I'm going blind and had a guide dog who I had to retire in the middle of July (currently trying to get a new one) and tysm for pointing out not talking to them while on harness, that was really annoying.
"I removed the dog" is conspicuously vague language. OP knows they're TAH and is trying to word things to make them the hero for saving the two year old they were so unaware of they somehow didn't notice until the dog was touching the child.. For people not in the US, Home Depot is dog friendly. Many people train their service dogs there when they're "in training" and not a "full fledged" service dog, and many people bring their pet dogs and even small horses because it is entirely allowed. It's a home improvement store, where I live it's used largely by farmers who bring their dogs everywhere so it's just normal. They're expected to be polite, but they're dogs, unless they are actually "working" and fully vested and presenting themselves as a service dog, they should be treated as a pet dog which again, is allowed in this particular store.
Holy crap! Airport Woman is definitely TAH. Are you kidding me, trapped at an airport with no bed and no phone? I'd never talking to her again. I've been abandoned by friends for less.
I think the skill of putting yourself in other peoples shoes would have really done OP some good here. Something that helps me to decide if I'm in the wrong is putting myself in the other persons position and would I like it if my friend left me? no, well then there's your answer. Defo think that's a helpful skill
@@whatismylifeanymore Maybe she did and wouldn't have minded to be left alone. I wouldn't be able to sleep in public even if I had a friend there, so it would be convenient to have one person with brain-function when the journey continues the next day. Therefore I wouldn't mind, if I were the friend. It is helpful to try to put oneself in other's shoes, but it doesn't mean you'd aways be right.
I'm assuming you also don't take them out in public and let them sniff strange toddlers. I always assume the biggest risks to dogs are children since they are so unpredictable and parents are so protective. This guy was being irresponsible by not paying attention to his dog. You never know what some unleashed kid is going to do 😂
@@rage_of_aquariusagreed about small kids being unpredictable around animals, and this kid was only 2 years old so not an age where kids usually understand yet how to behave around animals, but OP was holding his son’s hand and the dog came to them. OP was keeping his child close and supervised, the dog owner was not. I don’t think it was a service dog at all, as it would be very unusual for a service dog that is working to wander off, ie ignore his duty, and go sniff a small child. Yes even service dogs can make mistakes, but they are usually extremely well trained to assist the person when ‘on duty’.
FR the amount of rage I feel when I'm tryna walk my dog, and I have my headphones on cause I have terrible anxiety and can't stand talking to anyone, and people will literally just continuously beckon my dog over. And she's a big girl so I immediately get yanked towards who ever it is and then have to stand there for like 10 whole minutes while they pet my dog. Also some people will literally beckon her over from across the street, like? Sure just tell my dog to run into oncoming traffic, that's totally fine, HUH?! Leave me tf alone strangers, or ask politely. The only people that are polite about it are small children and that's it, they're always very lovely and gentle and always ASK FIRST, so I don't mind them at all Ok rant over, dog petters, BE RESPECTFUL LIKE THE CHILDREN. Istg, I will let my malamute eat you when you inevitably touch her paws which is the only thing that makes her angry AAAA
@casper9104 you definitely need to work on the pulling issue though, or either of you could get hurt. Definitely other people need to not call random dogs, but you should have full control over yours, too, because you can't rely on anyone else to behave appropriately. It's actually not that hard once you have the right tools and master the technique. Remember, you lead the walk, so your dog doesn't determine where to go, when to go, or how fast to go, they're meant to just relax and enjoy the journey.
First story - ESH I'm an adult without a child and I wouldn't like it if a random dog approached me while I was trying to pick out home repair supplies. Just because the store allows dogs doesn't mean it's ok for them to be sniffing on me. Still, don't touch someone else's dog unless the dog is being aggressive or someone is in immediate danger.
Story 1 was a YTD for me too. Maybe with a hint of ESH but OP was worse. 1) The dog sounds harmless but if it wasn’t picking up his kid was a faster, safer way to ensure the kids safety. If the dog was reactive, hip checking it/ pushing it could have caused it to attack. 2) Teaching kids to be scared of dogs is not smart. Dogs pick up tension in people and mirror it, and nervous dogs can be reactive too. A kid who is calm but sensible around dogs is best for the child (ie they aren’t scared but they won’t pet them without asking the owner). 3) Especially with it being a service dog, I kind of wonder if the kid enticed the dog over in some way. This is speculation on my part but it sounds like OP didn’t notice the dog approaching, or presumably they’d have moved the kid faster? It does sound like they weren’t closely watching what the kid was doing. I have a dog and little kids love to try and get his attention, sometimes without their parents noticing. 4) He’s teaching the kid to immediately resort to, admittedly gentle, violence when approached by dogs. Not only is this unsafe, it’s also unkind. I get the impression OP is scared of dogs, so their reaction is in some ways understandable, but it’s not in the best interests of their child.
OP said he was holding the child's hand when this happened. While I agree that his reaction was bad, I'm still thinking ESH, because no one should ever let their dog, service or pet, approach someone else's child without permission. It's a bad idea for both the child and the dog.
@@cathleenc6943 while I agree, I think the father was still the worst A.H. in the situation. Hip checking an unknown dog is very dangerous, if that dog has any injury or joint pain in that area then it's very likely to try to bite. And it wouldn't be a strange reaction from the dog! So, yes ESH but the father definitely was the worst. He could have seriously hurt that dog, and this in turn could have made the situation much more dangerous. He got mad at the dog for its owner's misbehaviour :[
20:19 I understand both perspectives. I think that everyone should clean after themselves and that certain tasks should be shared. Bathrooms need cleaning, vacuuming needs to be done etc. just being tidy isn't enough. But doing the chores assigned to her in her time as long as it's not putting it off for weeks.
Even if the amount of cleaning hasn't increased, it would feel unfair for one person to live there without doing chores. But the solution to this is to assign them chores, and if they can't come on Monday find something else. OP isn't handling this like an adult.
8:18 the only situation in which he would not be the drama is if his kid was allergic to dogs or the dog was being aggressive. Sounds like this man just doesnt like dogs and shouldnt be around them tho. Also like Home Depots aisle are HUGE how did a dog manage to surprise you that much? The floors are concrete and it’s always so echo-y, i have so many questions!
Even if the kid was allergic, most people with dog allergies (myself included) dont react that badly. Even if there was risk of a bad reaction though, touching the dog to move them wouldve put the kid at more risk because they wouldve contaminated their hands, meaning they couldn't touch the kid anymore until they washed their hands. And if the dog was aggressive, touching and pushing the dog could've made the dog lash out at op or their kid since the kid would still be right next to the dog I dont think op was really worried about the kid, like you said i think they just didn't like the dog. Or maybe a germ thing. I dont think any new information would make op nta
As well on the 2nd to last story, it seems up until the help out on cleaning day event, the mother wasnt even giving her specific tasks to do? Sure, she brought up the dishes rota, but what she shouldve done is told her where in the rota she will go, instead of assuming she would automatically understand and fall into place. It sounds like shes been there for 3 or less weeks, so she certainly doesnt know how the family like all their tasks being done, and i wouldnt feel comfortable being thrown into cleaning without knowing how its expected to be done. Maybe im just neurodivergent, but i think the mother being way clearer and especially involving her son couldve basically resolved the whole situation
The timeline stood out to me too! OP was getting frustrated with GF within 3 days of her moving in - which is not enough time to settle into the routine in the BEST of circumstances, let alone coming from a bad situation to a new household you don't know the specifics of or feel comfortable in yet, without being given any specifics on what is expected of you. If OP had shown GF how they like something done while OP was doing it, talking through specific things like "we put these dishes up top but these ones we hand wash because blah blah blah, here's where the soap is, we only use this setting on the dishwasher unless the whole bottom is pots and pans," etc. that would be a different story - but that soon after moving in I wouldn't even know where all the dishes get put away, like come on
23:46 gf going through tough time, was cleaning own mess and is a guest. She offered to do another thing/day, she was not rude. Does the family situation mean she's out of pocket and can't afford the maid fee. I never made my own child do chores, nor her f&f staying with us. People offer or, if there was a big mess (made food or crafts) I'd ask them to help me (and I'd do at least half, most when they were younger). My daughter never had set chores and never earned her pocket money. She just learned to help/offer without being asked. She is now an adult who manages her own laundry /food (living with us still) and offers help, puts laundry on, manages her money well and appreciates when I do cook for her or offer to throw her clothes in the washer.
For Nervous Boy - Mother in law is DEFINITELY the drama. I do think three years is a long time to take out of the workforce though, because HR people hate resume gaps, so maybe doing one year on/one year off for six years makes more long-term career sense.
That is exactly what I was thinking. If he does "nothing" for three years, it might not be as easy to step into the workforce as he might think. Starting a career as a young person is notoriously difficult (at least where I'm from), so he should be considering what he wants to do after the break and how he's going to achieve that.
Hey Shaaba! I just wanted to thank you for sharing your experience at airports because wow, as a young white woman (American) I truly didn't know that's how things were for some people. I mean, that's just insane. These learning moments always make me feel embarrassed and ashamed that I wasn't aware of the struggles many go through, but I'm doing my best to use those feelings to fuel myself to be better educated on the situations of other people who maybe don't look like me or have the same experiences as me. Anyway, thank you, and Happy New Year!
Some hardware stores in the US do allow pet dogs. I've really only seen service/therapy dogs who are in training there, though. Still no excuse to shove the dog! Move the kid away and tell the owner to keep the dog away.
Yeah, I see plenty of pets in our hardware stores. The local place even has a store cat who lives there. I'm afraid of cats, so I just move myself, not the cat, like a rational person 😅
Home Depot allows pets. I do not have a service dog, but I go there all the time for training or for a walk when I need to get light bulbs or whatever. My dog has saddlebags and I make her carry whatever we buy on the way home.
The OP in the first story sounds like they have an unaddressed intense fear of dogs and they definitely need to work on that so their kid doesn't pick it up when they're older.
It honestly reminded me of my dad who wont admit that he's scared of dogs. My mom desperately wants a dog but he's threatened that if she gets one it will 'disappear' one day. I guess that's why the story made me so angry😅
I somehow got emotional during the outro, thinking "omigosh, it's Shaaba's last video of 2024!" And then thought, "tsk! It's not like she's announcing her last video ever." But then felt validated when Shaaba got a little emotional, too. 🤗💖 Happy New Year, everyone! 🎊🥂🍑
Hi shabba!! I never comment on videos but i just wanted to say that for years i have loved yours and jamies youtube channels and i in particular love your aita videos and i love that podcast!!! You are one of the things i am grateful for this year!! Im a childrens book illustrator and when i paint i watch something of yours jamies or yours together! Hours and hours of watching your content has brought to life 4 books this year ( i only started illustrating in august!) !! And hopefully more in the new year! Keep uo your incredible content. Much love
Story 1: Definitely needed more info, when the info came in YTD, you don’t assault a service animal. You can place your hand between child and animal to shoo said animal away but a hip-check is the same as kicking and is considered disrupting the service animal in it’s duties
You shouldn't put a hand in if you aren't well-versed in canine behavior, but shifting your whole body between the two before grabbing the kid is the safest option since the dog sees it as someone creating a barrier and asking it to respect the child's space rather than an act of potential aggression or a game of keep-away
Regarding the first story: It also had me wondering what kind of service dog this was and if the service dog may have been reacting to something in the child. People not understanding service dogs baffles me to this day, though, and that OP is definitely TA
Happy new year Shaaba! My exciting news for the new year is that on January 3rd I’m moving in with my boyfriend, and once I’m no longer living at home I’ll be able to start going on T and schedule a consult for top surgery! 2025 is looking to be an exciting year!
20:19 i feel like there is a second thing here- OP doesn't want to switch the day or leave the girlfriend's part for a different day beacuse that would that her son could also do it in a different day and him not being there would no longer be an excuse. Second thing is that practices are oretty regular so I'd assume he goes there every Monday, therefore never partaking in the cleaning. Why did OP set up that day to be a deep clean day then? If he can never be there- that's a pretty big scheduling issue that feels deliberate on OP's side.
If we're talking about high school sports he probably has practice for 2-3 hours every day and games on the weekend. I would need more information about his schedule before I said it was deliberate by OP.
the airport friend reminds me of a situation I was in 2 years ago when I wound up having to stay overnight in the airport because I was an idiot who didn't book a hotel room after standing in line for 4 hours to book my flight for the next day and I was traveling solo. luckily I met a very nice family that let me rest with them until I was able to get back through security because it was bedlam trying to find a hotel and everywhere was booked. it was quite the experience that I would not recommend repeating. i was able to find some places to rest at the gate at least so I wasn't sleeping on the floor but I think I was a little too jet lagged to truly realize how bad this whole thing was at the time. so shame on that friend for leaving her bestie behind. no besties left behind.
Regarding story #1; I’m surprised the comments on it, because my first instinct if a service dog comes at me sniffing I’ll instantly think it’s looking for help. A lot of them are trained to do that. Second; move the child, not the dog. Bottom line with animals you don’t know, whether they are trained or not, you do not grab/touch/push/pick up. You never know how an animal will react. Good grief, the dog could’ve gone for OP for doing that or their child… People really don’t think before doing anything! I had a service dog (retired now) and the things I was put through!!!
This was my thought as well - perhaps there was a reason the service dog was sniffing. Some service dogs rely on scent for alerts, right? Would it not make sense for such a dog to sniff its surroundings to sort of familiarize itself? Or like you said, could have been looking for help. Regardless, OP's reaction definitely seems over the top (and over the line).
You can talk to the owner of the service dog and tell them how lovely their dog is. With my daughters service dog (a Golden) we wanted people to ask and then we would have the dog sit before being petted. My daughter's Cerebral Palsy isolates her so we went with this instead of the no touching police because it put people at ease and they could converse about her dog without anyone feeling weird or uncomfortable because they had never been taught how to talk to people with handicaps.
This was a great episode to end 2024 with. Thank you so much for keeping us company throughout the year, Shaaba! My very best wishes to you and all your loved ones.
If the dog from the first story was a service dog, he might have been off duty since it was a pet friendly location. Just thought I might add that because, yes, service dogs can and do make mistakes but usually, at least in my case, they don’t make mistakes very often because they have a lot of training. Also I usually don’t make my service dog work in pet friendly locations. Yes, he can still alert and task, but I don’t need him to be so perfect.
This could be the case, however I will point out that a lot of people I have known over the years (even as I worked in a pet store which was VERY pet friendly) will not have their service animals wearing the vest if they're not actively working. I'm sure I don't have to point out, also, that many people will buy fake service animal vests online and claim that their pets are service animals or emotional support animals just because they want to, whether or not the animal in question is actually trained to perform assistive tasks. The fact that the dog in the story was wearing a vest and the owner immediately got angry because their dog was being interacted with even though they were not taking the steps to ensure their dog was staying close to them (working or not) indicates more to me that everybody in the situation sucks.
Should the service dog be wearing his “I am a service dog” jacket / harness if he is not working though? Is that usual? I do not have a service dog but I work with someone who does, so the dog is at work with us several times a week, but when he is not working he is also not wearing his ‘work clothes’ to makes a clear distinction for the dog between working and not.
I couldn't help wondering, if the dog was even interacting with the kid or just like walking by, since the OP did seem quite dramatic in the first place. Either way, it was pretty stupid to touch the dog, because even well trained animals can be unpredictable, if they feel threatened. If the kid wasn't afraid of dogs and I'd think the OP would have mentioned it, I would say he would be more frightened by his father's over-reaction than the dog.
@@lupessreturns true, I was thinking maybe they had already been out on errands, hence the vest, and then decided to stop in and gave the service dog a break.
I remember the first time I ever traveled alone. My flight didn't go as planned... the wind was too strong in Nashville, Tennessee. And my plane was running out of fuel, so instead, we landed in New Orleans, and we were stuck there for the night. And I completely missed the event I was originally traveling to attend! The airport offered to pay for me to stay in a hotel but I decided to stay in the airport because I have a lot of anxiety and was afraid of missing the flight the next morning. I didn't sleep at all because I ABSOLUTELY refuse to sleep in public. (Again, anxiety, and I don't trust strangers), so yea, after all that, I am now a nervous flyer.
I think it is very difficult when you are in someone elses home, because if you are being expected to go around their home cleaning and tidying up, it means you are having to go around touching and moving other peoples, that you barely know's belongings. Some people can feel really uncomfotable and feel like they are prying into others personal things.
I have to tell you a Peaches story. My grandson is nearly 3. The other morning my daughter was asking him what he wanted for breakfast. She told him they had some peaches. "Peaches!" he exclaimed. "Daddy has big peaches, mommy has big peaches and I have little peaches." 🤣
ESH- in regard to the service dog. First the owner because you should be aware of your dog, who it’s approaching and dog friendly places doesn’t matter when it comes to being a responsible handler. 2nd the dad, even thought he probably acted on instinct not forethought when he perceived his small child was in danger. Sometimes there really isn’t enough time to use words before you react. They both should have apologized and taken a learning experience away that both gentleman need to pay more attention to their kid/dog. Not everyone loves dogs or even likes them, that holds no merit on proper handling.
I really appreciate your comment! I feel like not enough people are talking about the fact a dog shouldn't approach someone without permission in public (unless it is a service dog alerting, of course)
Nah. There is no reason why he should've thought the kid was in danger. He clearly has an extreme phobia of dogs and that doesn't give him right to assault the dog. He needs therapy. Plus he should've been holon his child that young as home depot isn't a kid friendly place. There is ZERO reason as to why he didn't always have an eye on and attention on his child. My kids are 11 and 10 amd even just at Walmart I still always know where they're at and I have ADHD amd autism. No excuse on the dads part. Imagine how easily it could've been the kid getting into something causing severe harm with the store they were at. If the kid grabbed something amd broke something or grabbed a tool or something off a shelf and hurt himself or someone else, everyone elwould be talking about how he shouldn't be so distracted when he has his toddler with him. I feel like he's probably not used to actually being solely responsible for his own child.
The "some places" might be liminal spaces - because they are designed for people to move through, not to properly inhabit. They're where you pass through to actually get somewhere, not a destination. Airports and hospitals both qualify and alleyways are the definition of liminal.
11:00 Situations like story #2 are why I will use a travel agent if I ever fly outside of the country. This is where travel agents earn their fees. Any good agent will already be resolving the problem by the time you call in.
Real question, as a person who wants to use a travel agent but doesn't know how to find a good one. What could a travel agent do? If you're a person from a country with such a weak passport that you can't leave the airport in the EU because you don't have a European Visa, presumably, that visa process takes weeks (which I only know by watching Uyen Ninh), so if that airport doesn't have a hotel or lounge within that foreign area of the airport (and even as an American, I've definitely landed in many foreign airports where there are no services beyond a restroom before going through the immigration process), I don't see any possible place for a travel agent to help.
Airport story: I honestly didn't realise how bad the discrimination was until I saw it. I asked my friend, "How long does it take to get through the local airport?" And he said, "It depends if you're brown or not." I laughed it off. Until we had to go through the airport together for work, and out of 30 of us, he was the only one stopped and searched, and it took ages. "Random" my arse.
For the first story, depending on what the service dog's tasks are it may have been doing its job by sniffing the toddler. But considering the owner said the shop is a dog-friendly place there is the possibility OP assumed the dog was a service dog when it wasn't. If the dog was a service dog but wasn't performing its tasks, or if it wasn't a service dog at all, then the owner should have had a bit more control over their dog. I'm always careful about where my dog is and stop her from just randomly approaching people (but that's mostly down to her being a Staffordshire Bull Terrier and more people being hesitant about that type of breed). But no matter what OP is definitely the drama. The thing with the airport though in the second story, as they were supposed to be getting a connecting flight the friend may not have been able to leave the area for connecting flights and OP would not have been able to buy anything to pass along to their friend as they wouldn't be allowed into this part of the airport and leave again (or if it's a similar layout to Heathrow OP may not even be able to access the area the friend had to stay in after leaving). Typically though airports do have at least one shop at all parts of the airport where the friend could have bought a charger themselves, or checked at their flight's customer service desk on what they could do to make the situation more comfortable for friend. I would personally say OP is a bit of the drama for not offering to stay with their friend, but I do have to admit if I was in OPs shoes I'd have explained to my friend I was going to the hotel (but that's due to me have chronic joint pains more than anything).
I feel like if I was the friend that had to stay and my friend had chronic pain, I would ORDER her to go to the hotel (just because I have a friend with chronic pain who isn't very likely to want to leave me in that situation) but it doesn't seem to be the case.
No service dog should ever be sniffing strangers as a task. That kid could be allergic or super scared. Do you have an example of a task that would require a dog to sniff strangers unannounced?
@@MichiruEll There are some times a service dog will alert for someone other than their owner. And in some cases their way of recognising an issue is by sniffing, for example for PoTS. Or if their owner has a severe allergy to something the dog is trained to detect it by scent and then alert their owner to avoid that place/person.
Nah. The dad is clearly the super scared one. Lmao He needs therapy. You and only you are responsible for your feelings and triggers. There was no reason for him to over react like that and certaintly no reason for him to assault the dog. Plus he shouldve been holding his child that young as home depot is NOT a child friendly place. You wouldnt be ig oring thay if the kids broke stuff or did something to harm himself or others. (Which would be very easy to do at a home depot. He shouldve been paying attention to his child. It isnt other people's responsibilityto manage your fears and watch YOUR child for you.)@@MichiruEll
For the situation with the dog: If the roles were reversed and a child was touching something it shouldn't, it would never be ok, for a stranger to touch the child. Why should this be different?
I’ve never traveled to the UK but I would think that an airport is a pretty safe place to be alone, all things considered. The lack of sleep sucks, but at least they have intense security measures and police around the whole time. If I was stuck someplace overnight the airport would be someplace I would feel relatively safe in (as long as I was able to give my friend my most valuable items or secure them in a locker). The friend should have bought an extra phone charger bare minimum but I think No Drama Here.
This is your regular reminder that you're all awesome, beautiful and valid little peaches, just the way you are ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 Love you all ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 Happy Holidays everyone 🎄🎁🎄🎁🎄🎁🎄🎁🎄🎁🎄
For the first story; from my knowledge of service dogs, which is my grandma having a service dog, is that serves dogs are trained to not go up to and sniff/ touch other people when on duty so that is probably why service dog was in quotation marks.
ESH for the first story. As someone who lives in America and has seen first hand with previous experience, some people will purchase old service dog vests or vests that look similar and claim their dogs are service dogs when they are not. I don't know if that's what their situation is, but I do know that properly trained service dogs are not supposed to roam and sniff people. Even if the dog was in training, the dog owner should have kept an eye on them and corrected the behavior. The parent should have kept a closer eye on their kid (put them in a shopping cart- it's the safer option when roaming a store) and definitely should not have hip-checked the dog. Whether it's previous trauma or just that they didn't want a strange dog being near their child, there was a better way to handle the situation. I do acknowledge they were probably reacting in the moment and not really thinking, though. I'm just glad the dog didn't lash out when touched the way it was. Both parties suck in how they handled the situation, overall, though.
Dogs are allowed in Home Depot and Lowes. I take mine all the time. It's one of the few places i can go to let my pups get new experiences to train them.
When I was young I was a soldier and learned to sleep anywhere. Now, my arthritis would make that very painful. Still I would go buy sleeping bags and we could taken shifts sleeping and watching. I would ache but my friend could rub my back to help me loosen up.
1st story: OP is CLEARLY the asshole. Idk what happened to people on Reddit with this one. 2nd story: no one is the asshole. I understand why the friend would be scared and not want to be alone but I also understand OP. In this situation I wouldn't want my friend to stay in the airport if they're being offered a hotel room. I'd probably ask if they can do some stuff for me though (bring me a bottle of water, some food and a charger, before they leave).
Seriously. If the kid broke something or got hurt because he stopped paying attention attention that much for that long, no one would be advocating that it is other people's responsibility to watch his child for him. My kids are in tweens now and I still always know where they're at in the store, even when it's just at Walmart or target. It also isn't other people that are responsible for managing your fears (which the guy clearly has immense fear of dogs he needs therapy for.) Your feelings are solely your responsibility.
12:41 i’ve had to do that before, thankfully i had another person with me so it wasnt as scary and we could take turns taking naps on the airport ground, YTD, i could not imagine having to do that alone
No no no nervous peach! NTD!!! I love the way you decided to live your life, well done and congratz to you! You do you and don't let anyone bring you down just because you found your bliss and it's not a hassle and hassle all the time scheme! We should work to live not live to work! ^_^ Good way to teach your kid to be scared of dogs. It's an AH move regardless of the dog... A "service dog", one of the most trained dogs on earth?! Double AH badge for you good sir! It's so different for me at airports. I'm still a female but Mediterranean/white, I love airports and I travel a lot alone through them at times with 5 or 6 hours wait and I always love it. I pass through Zurich, Munich or Frankfurt and the airports are so well-equipped for sleep and waiting time... it would have never crossed my mind it could be such a scary experience. I've learned today! Would still say AH even if the son was cleaning. She's not leaving a mess, it seems like you only said yes to have a pair of helping hands. If she was leaving extra work for you I would agree but you said it yourself she wasn't adding any work so what is your problem?
People are crazy to say NTD for the first OP. It's common sense to remove your CHILD and not touch the dog. Why would you push the dog away? I've seen many people say that is the right reaction to protect the child but it's even disregarding the service dog stuff is a bad idea. Reacting overly aggressive or fearful and touching a dog you dont know is such a bad idea. Dogs can feel that and can become reactive to it. Clearly the OP has some fear or distaste of dogs and they can feel that. If it weren't a well trained dog and just some pet someone brought it (maybe the case we will never know) than the fig could have reacted and jumped at OP or the kid. The best thing to do is remain calm and with slow movements. The dog was only sniffing but even if it was growling slowly distancing and picking up the child or moving them to the opposing side is the correct way to handle the situation. Touching the dog is always a bad idea in the situation OP described. OP is the drama for sure, yeah maybe the dog owner should have been paying more attention and kept the dog from sniffing but if it's a small hallway there's only so much distance to keep and reacting in such a dramatic aggressive way isn't really effective.
the last story - totally awesome that op was able to fund a three-year sabbatical. They're not avoiding work. They said they were doing art. That IS a job! if they aren't making money from it (yet), art is still work. it's a "piece of art work" not a "piece of art lazing around". mil needs to butt tf out.
I have spent a LOT of times in airports. a lot of them have cots for loan. they're not super comfortable, but they are better than the floor covered in the germs of a million shoes. It's on the airport to provide the accommodations. If i were the person who had to stay in the airport, i would insist my friend go to the provided hotel. it's not their fault the airport sucks and at least one of us should be able to get some rest. that said - i am very used to be alone in airports and have slept in....five? maybe six? different airports across two countries. it's just a thing. if the reverse were the case and i was the one who could leave, i would talk to the friend first. if they were afraid, i would stay with them. I always travel with a sleep mask (a regular face mask works in a pinch) as well as at least one spare charger and a neck pillow. but then, i have a lot of practice. i agree op should have gotten a few amenities for the friend before trundling off to a cozy hotel room.
First story was a YTA. If the person with a service dog was standing looking at the shelves next to you, then obviously the dog would be close to your child. Service dogs are supposed to ignore other people but if a quick turn of the head puts it in sniffing range of your kid then that's a very easy and small slip up to make. Are you also sure that your child didn't interact with the dog first? Have you taught them to leave dogs alone when they see them? Hip checking the dog was an overreaction when you could have picked up your child or swapped places with them. Maybe next time put your kid in a trolley with a child seat if you don't want dogs approaching them in a dog friendly space.
8:37 I've actually slept at an airport in the past because I didn't want to spend money booking a hotel nor the hassle of going thru airport security again lol
Yeah nah the first OP has no reason to hipcheck the dog unless the dog was showing signs of aggression. (Also I realise hipchecking is a thing outside of Monster Hunter, but I can't help imagine that OP was a Plesioth so it makes a sad story a little more funny for me)
Story 1. Home Depot does allow pet dogs. Thats why the dog owner was upset and said that the guy shouldn't go to pet friendly places(other than his dog being shoved). I think people have missed this part. So yes, the OP is definitely the drama here if the dog was just sniffing. Shoving any dog could have scared it enough to bite or snap. Unless the dog was barking or growling then don't mess with someone else's dog!
When our school class took a trip to our country's capital, one of my less white-looking classmates was stopped by the police. I'll repeat... A CHILD whose only suspicious behavior was not being white was stopped by the police, and they stopped interrogating him only after our group said he's with us.
I’m barely a minute in (and yes it is “dipo” not “dEPo”) and I just have to ask what kind of sweater/cardigan you’re wearing because that thing looks hella comfy?? Oh and an (early) happy new year Shaaba!
Well in certain parts of the UK a bus depo is pronounced dEPo not Deepo. Where I'm from we never say 'deepo' it's dEPo. It just depends where you're from.
@@belladonnichazeyjane4887the STORE is pronounced dee-poh. The word "depot" in general can be either dee-poh *or* dep-oh, depending on what dialect of English you speak. In the Americas it is officially "dee-poh" while in the UK & Aus it is "dep-oh".
First story: Home Deeepot (that's how they pronounce it, to answer your question, Shaaba) is pet friendly, but the guy pointing that out makes me doubt it was a service dog, as does the way it goes up to sniff and poke the kid. Guy shouldn't be hip checking the dog for a sniff though. ESH. Third story: The obvious sexism throws it clearly over the line, but I think the rest of the circumstance push it over either way. Under different circumstances I could see asking her to chip in on the cleaning financially, because an extra person existing in a place is going to increase the mess. A week of one person scuffing the floor vs a week of two people scuffing the floor. The story as-is, definite YTA.
I'm a parent of toddlers and I can assure you that your assessment of the service dog story is right. Most parents would have just retrieved the baby. NOT someone else's retriever!
I don't like strange dogs approaching my children because I have dog trauma, BUT I always pick up my toddler I don't touch the dog! I have had people get mad at me for "assuming" their dog will hurt my baby, but I don't trust ANY dogs so I mostly just ignore it.
Home Depot is openly a dog-friendly store (I always loved going there with my dad for that reason), so it could very well have not been a service dog at all, and instead was just a normal pet, but it was still completely welcome to be there regardless, and it wasn’t doing any harm. If you don’t want to go to a “fucking dog park,” go to Lowe’s. There were so many opportunities for OP to be NTA, but he didn’t take any of them
Oh dang, I knew there was discrimination against bipoc people going on at the airports but I didn't realize the depths. Disgusting. Thank you for sharing your stories, I will put this knowledge to use.
It's crazy. I'm from southamerica and i'm always scared when going through europe airports, but nothing bad has ever happened to me. I realize it's because my skin is white!
Genuinely ngl the last year has been sooooooo bad , especially the last 2 months. I can't wait for 2024 to be over and I am so hoping next year will be better 😂
I feel ya mate 😢 mine started off bad and just got worse. But I'm hopeful for next year for the both of us!! Best wishes from one trans masc to another 🩵🤍🩷 I love your name also, it reminds me of Ireland which I miss 😅
@frogsbongs Ah no I'm sorry your year has also been not great , I hope 25 is your year ♡ Keep strong ♡ not to get to deep into it but I moved in Jan after being homeless for a year and thought amazing yes finally a new start to my life. Then I was assaulted in Feb and my mh got really bad over the next few months and I went to the hospital for help and they said someone would help and noone ever contacted me. Then my cat passed away and I ended up just being even more low. Then I was assaulted by someone else in November and at the beginning of December made multiple attempts to "opt out". I ended up un hospital and then told family about everything that's happened this last year. 2025 better be better then 2024 coz I barely made it though this year ♡
wish I could say I was surprised about story #1, but I'm not. people don't understand service dogs, the laws and regulations around them, and the fact that they can make mistakes, be in training, etc. it doesn't help that people abuse the rather loose rules around declaring service animals which causes people to have faulty, misinformed, or other negative views of service animals and their handlers. Wishing the doggo and its handler all the best
I don’t think using your hip to bump the dog away is the same as distracting it. If a dog came up and was in my kid’s face I would have done the same thing. They removed the child and gently pushed the dog away at the same time. I don’t understand how anyone is acting like that was a bad thing to do. If the owner didn’t want someone to touch the dog they should not have allowed the dog to get into a kid’s face.
@introusas this is exactly how I feel about the situation too. A hip bump isn't a violent action. And the dad was already holding onto his kid's hand, it's not like he was being neglectful and letting his kid wander off (from my understanding of the post).
@@introusas I think so too. I understand that service dogs can make mistakes, but why didn't the handler correct it? I have a regular non-service dog who loves people and would run up to anyone to be cuddled and I pay attention so he doesn't just do that (even though a lot of people instantly love him, because he's a friendly looking corgi). I have him leashed and at my side, especially with people around & in tight spaces I usually stand at the side with him between my feet to let the other person pass by. There are so many people that are scared of dogs, especially small children, because they often have experiences with getting bitten by dogs. No one should let their dog just walk up to people, whether it's a service dog or not. It goes both ways, no one should approach a dog without asking the owner, and no one should let their dog approach a person without their consent.
Yes service dogs can make mistakes, but they rarely do and especially not when they know they are working and need to assist their person (as opposed to being off duty, but in that case they aren’t wearing their jacket / harness). Service dogs are usually incredibly well trained and screened for their ability. For the dog to wander off and get so close to a small child - a 2 year old is around the height of that dog - is very unusual. The fact that his human didn’t see it happen is also a mistake (it doesn’t sound like it was a blind guide dog either). If the dog is in training, he’d very likely be wearing a vest that says that, at least that is the case where I live, and the person who is training him would actually need to be busy with the training and not allow the dog to go sniff random people. I don’t think OP hip bumping the dog was a great choice, but the dog’s owner also has responsibility in what happened. Especially considering the child is a 2 year old toddler, so tiny compared to the dog, and not at an age where a child often knows how to behave around animals and could therefore also have pulled the dog’s tail, been rough with him, etc. OP was holding his child’s hand and keeping an eye on him, and the dog owner must do the same.
I do wish that here in the states we had stricter regulations around declaring a service animals. rn it's just a free for all, if you say it (and pay it) then it is so. it leads to people declaring animals that absolutely should never be (hate to say but my mom is a violator), which leads to people assuming most animal service declarations are fake. it harms those who really need them, makes people and institutions suspicious of those using the animals, etc.
I'm a white woman who hates flying, and I have never encountered anything worse than a delayed flight and/or flying with a migraine so far. I'm so sorry to hear that it's so much worse for you! I'd thought that, at best, one could expect the airports to just kind of... ignore those they'd discriminate against, so discrimination through just not being helpful (like the rude salesperson who won't help the perceived poor person type of thing). I hate to hear that it's much worse for you!
who cleans on a monday night? the usual day is a weekend - saturday or sunday. and the son just...doesn't have to??? the mom is super sexist and rude. that poor girl. she's estranged from her own family and then her bf's family tries to turn her into Cinderella. wtf...it's been three days!
There is no 'usual' day for cleaning LOL. Everynbody's schedule is different. I work from home and I clean whenever I want. In fact I rarely clean on the weekend, for me the weekend is for fun and relaxation. I prefer to do chores in the week. Who decided the weekend is the 'usual' day for cleaning? Otherwise I totally agree with your other comments.
@belladonnichazeyjane4887 for mon-fri people, Saturday is pretty common. But when i worked weekends, it was usually the day after my work week. So yeah- usual probably wasn't the optimal word. But hopefully you heard what i meant. It's just weird to have one day a week for cleaning and have that be on a work day. It's more often that you do some kind of cleaning daily and weekly cleaning on a day off. Monday just seems super random. If you want to start the week with a clean home, Sunday makes more sense
First story, ESH. Yes, you don't just touch an unfamiliar dog. OP also definitely should have noticed the dog approaching before. But also, the dog owner shouldn't let their dog approach random strangers, least of all toddlers. There are people who are scared of dogs, allergic to dogs, whatever, and especially with such a small child things can go wrong VERY quickly.
Third story- I think it's fine to ask someone who is planning on living in your home to participate in household chores. It sounds like chores work differently in gf's family's house and that's one of the things that come up when you start living with people for the first time whether it is this situation or a dorm room. It's not ok for the girlfriend to be expected to do chores if the boyfriend isn't and charging her a maid fee is nuts. Girlfriend is trying to clean up after herself, so it's not like she's making a huge mess for you to clean. It would be ok to kindly say "this is how we do things in this household" with the understanding that she has a different background and expectations.
Regarding the first story: my biases are that I have young children and am not a dog person. It doesn’t sound like the dog was acting aggressively or posing a threat to the child, and in this situation I like to think I would either monitor the interaction carefully or just pick up my kid. I could see myself reacting non-favorably if I was startled by a dog and thought my kid could be in any danger-I wouldn’t hesitate to shoo or kick the dog away, and idgaf about the dog in that moment. My badge is ESH
Pets are allowed in a lot of home depots. Theres a real possibility (esp considering the pet owner's reaction of dude why didnt you expect a dog) that it was one if those home depots and that was just a pet dog.
Where do we submit our own stories? Is there a form or do we put it in the comments or is it a members feature or are they asked for on Instagram or something? I've got a few stories I'd like to submit.
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Omg that "cleaning fee" story.
Yes. Sexism. BUT ALSO, she only said no when the only person she really knows and the only person she knows is actively advocating for her won't be there.
100% suspect she doesn't feel comfortable with his family yet.
The first story lol. ESH. A golden retriever approached your toddler and you didn't notice until it was nosing your child? Have some self awareness when you're in public with your little one, and then don't touch the dog? Wtf? A dog approaches my toddler, and I pick my toddler up. Basic parenting. Being reactive to the dog can make the dog reactive. It was also not ok for the dog owner to allow the dog to approach the child without permission. People generally don't want unfamiliar dogs to approach their kids unless they have assurance that the dog is friendly. Sometimes not even then, and that is ok.
I am glad someone else actually sees Shaaba's point of removing the child and not the dog.
@@KittyKat94 Honestly amazed by how many comments said NTA.
Absolutely, no one is acknowledging that the owner had a responsibility to keep an eye and a hand on the dog. It’s not okay for you to let your dog to get into a kid’s face, especially if it’s a service dog. I might have gently pushed the dog away as well if it wasn’t moving on its own.
This is what I was thinking as well. The dad is definitely more the drama for sure! The hip check was Not Ok. But the dogs owner, while reasonably upset about the dad's actions, shouldn't have allowed his service dog to be that close to someone else's child. And the 'what else do you expect in a dog friendly place' excuse was badly used.
Exactly, even if it wasn't a service dog, you just shouldn't touch someone's dog cause you never know if it might bite
Another issue I have with the first OP's actions is that freaking out and reacting aggressively towards a dog that just approached and sniffed the toddler sends a message to the kid that the dog is something to fear. If OP had just calmly been like 'oh, gonna pick you up now' the kid would read the situation as no big deal. If they're not already afraid of dogs (which it doesn't seem like they are from what was said), this strikes me as a great way to teach them that they should be
yup, this sounds like the dad has issues with dogs and is gonna transfer them to his kid, also lots of people are saying the dog handler shouldn't have allowed the dog to approach the child but what if it's a blind person? (Sighted people often suck at detecting somebody's blind). I can't fathom any other reason why the dad didn't just pick up his kid instead of being agressive toward the dog.
While I agree that the dad reacted badly, no one should ever allow their dog, service or not, to approach someone else's small child without communication and permission. ESH.
@@cathleenc6943nah. They might be blind or have other issues here they needed more than 2 seconds to realize that. It is NOT anyone else's responsibility to mangr YOUR triggers and phobias. Dude needs therapy. That's all that matters.
"I don’t hate this girl" is such an odd thing to feel the need to clarify regarding your kid's girlfriend 🚩
It's like saying "I'm not homophobic/transphobic but..."
Service dog trainer and handler here. The first scenario is an ESH, but with the OP being much more in the wrong. Service dogs go through extensive training and, ideally, should ignore everyone around them except for their handler while on the job. Yes, dogs can and do make mistakes, but it is on the service dog handler to ensure their dog maintains appropriate standards of behavior while working. If my service dog were to try to sniff someone while on duty, she would get a quick verbal cue to "leave it," which she would immediately respond to because she's had so much training around that command. She's simply not going around sniffing people in stores, much less doing so long enough for them to try to do anything about it. Not only does the law require service dog handlers to ensure their dogs behave appropriately in public, it's also a matter of common decency and respect. Other people may have allergies, phobias, etc. My dog is there to help me safely navigate in public. Not to make other people uncomfortable.
That said, you're absolutely spot on that the OP was *far* more in the wrong here. "Hip checking" the dog in question could have injured it. Aside from that being bad on its own accord, injuring a service dog also strips the handler of their freedom for anywhere from weeks to years, depending on if the dog can recover or not. Even if the dog wasn't injured, forcibly moving it could have caused the handler to fall if the dog was providing balance/mobility assistance. And even if the dog was not providing mobility assistance, touching or otherwise attempting to interact with the dog in any way can distract a service dog during a crucial moment and cause significant harm to the handler. OP should have simply pulled their child away. Just because a dog sniffs your child doesn't give you the right to put that dog *and* its handler at risk of serious harm when it's easy enough to simply move your child away.
Tl;dr: Everybody sucks here. Dog handler should have been paying closer attention and stopped the dog's sniffing immediately. OP should never have touched (much less "hip checked") the dog, and should simply have moved their child instead.
The thing is. I don’t think this was a service dog. Home Depot is a dog friendly store. As in you can bring your dog with you. Which the dog owner pointed out. So I suspect the dog may have just had some sort of vest on and this wasn’t even a case of a fake service dog.
@@kathleenkilmartin5494regardless I don't think anyone should be hip checking a dog, much less one that was simply sniffing a child.
@kathleenkilmartin5494 It might have been a pet. It might also have been a service dog in training (some service dogs in training may start at pet friendly stores during the early stages of public access training, depending on the dog and trainer involved, plus a few more factors). It may also have been a fully fledged service dog that was having an off day, or just got distracted by a particularly interesting smelling toddler. Obviously service dogs are trained not to smell random people, but they do make mistakes, which is where a good handler would step in.
My original comment is simply taking the situation at face value. I do think the handler's comment about it being a pet friendly store is a bit odd, since it really shouldn't have any bearing on the behavior of a service dog on the job. But either way, OP was wrong for hip checking the dog. If the dog is not a service dog, there's a higher chance it might attack someone for shoving it. If it is a service dog (as OP clearly believed), you're putting the dog and its handler at risk. You're right that we can't know for sure if the dog was a service dog, but either way OP's actions were not the best idea.
Hey, As you are a prof service dog trainer here- i just have two questions:
1)is it possible that the dog was still in training? From the story it seems like the reaction was immedaite so maybe the OP reponded before the handler?
2) is there any way for people with vision issues to notice that? i konw that doesn't have to be the case in this instance as a service dog can support for many different reasons but I was always curious and no amount of research answered my question.
@@kathleenkilmartin5494 exactly. I want to know what the vest was. If it was a "service dog vest" handler needs to be educated. I have read stories from the low vision community being denied because fake service dogs ruin things. Yes you can sue under ADA in the US. However it ia headache and doesn't help in the moment. I work retail and see so many fake service dog. We are only allowed to ask "What service does the dog provide?" A lot says helps with stress which makes it an emotional support animal . Which is different then a service animal a different rules/laws. Parent still over reacted in a dog friendly store. On a side note service dogs do not need a vest in the US. Sorry I babble cause this is a pet peeve of mine.
Omg, I am so sorry to hear about the discrimination you faced at airports Shaaba, no one deserves to go through that 😞
Second this!
Shaaba, thank you so much for deciding YTA on the "maid fee" story. I have honest-to-goodness trauma from the being the houseguest of hosts like OP.
FYI - Home Depot stores (pronounced with a long e) are one of the few reliably indoor dog-friendly places here in the US (not just service dogs, all dogs as long as they are behaved). I’ve always assumed this is because the farmers’ or handyman’s dog riding around with him in the back of a pickup truck (though rare these days in areas where I live now) is imagery as American as apple pie.
People often bring service dogs in training to them to practice being around other people/dogs/noises/smells, so it’s very likely this was a service dog in training.
To give more context for those unfamiliar - Home Depot sells tools and materials for building and renovation projects (lumber, hand and power tools, tile, paint, etc). It’s just about the least toddler-safe public place I can think of. I’m not saying don’t bring your kids (my dad was a contractor and brought me all the time). Everyone their own style of parenting and level of risk they’re willing to accept, but personally this is a “ride in the cart or hold my hand at all times” environment for my 2 year old. Tough to imagine a scenario where a dog would approach without first going through me.
With the airport story
The whole, why should we both struggle argument is so wrong too, like, it's not just, we both struggle or you struggle, it's you struggle, or we share that struggle and make it slightly smaller than it would have been for just you to handle, that's friendship/empathy
First red flag was "now I don't dislike the girl". that's not how you talk about someone you like, that's how you describe someone you tolerate. Then the "some girl my son is dating" yep mask off, she doesn't like this girl, which she doesn't have to but doesn't entitle her to treat the gf badly.
If OP in the service dog story lives in a country where it gets dark early in the day, and this post is from around this time of year… the dog could’ve been wearing a reflective vest meant for dogs to make them more visible in the dark. Vest on a dog does not automatically mean service dog. Tho tbf we don’t know what the vest looked like as OP didn’t give any details on that.
This time of year I've been seeing glo-stick vests on dogs where I live
Never seen those before, but it's a good idea
15:51 shaaba! my friend is a tall white American man, with a German name. his father is Lebanese, but you would never tell by looking at him. he gets "randomly" selected for additional security review each time he flies. each. time. ever. so yes, airport security really be out here trying to get BIPOC.
If he is white with American passport and German name, and one wouldn't be able to tell he is half Lebanese, how would they pick him as BIPOC? Did I misunderstand your message?
@@soundlessbee could just not "pass" enough. My dad was always stopped with his very white american self, with one of those super common white last names, but he tans easy. So tall stocky dark haired tan man (he was a construction worker, so outside and strong) with mustache, was stopped constantly.
@@ghjgme I know someone who is a large man, but couldn't possibly be mistaken as anything but white, who always gets stopped. I don't think BIPOC are the only people who constantly have issues at airports, so it doesn't make sense to say that someone gets stopped because they are POC, if no-one can tell they are. That's why I got confused by the original comment.
@@soundlessbee I'm not saying I'm right, I am from an area with a high middle eastern population (many Lebanese) and many are lighter skin, so I was curious on how "white passing" they are perceived.
If the airport had those like capsule hotels I would have paid for the friend to stay in one of those. Yes you're having to pay but that's better than sleeping alone on the floor. I also agree they could have bought phone chargers in the airport. They would be overpriced but they would be a necessity especially if they were going to split up. I feel like there were definitely some better unexplored solutions to this problem
Story 1: Completely agree, move your own child not the other person's dog.
Story 2: My spouse had a long layover in China while flying to Korea and despite not having a Chinese visa they were able to stay in a hotel (with a transfer visa that they were given for that specific purpose) since it was less than 72 hours. I'm curious about how things are in Europe, do they really straight up not allow travelers to leave the airport without a visa? But regardless, there are a million things OP could have done better.
Story 3: OP is already a nightmare MIL to her teenage son's GF and with all of the sexism to boot. Still giving the son a brownie badge because he gets angry on GF's behalf but OP's attitude toward the chores and GF's offer to help on her own terms has rescinded hers.
Story 4: Speaking of a nightmare MIL... the fact that she wouldn't care about OP's choice to temporarily be a stay at home partner if he was a woman and only cares because he's a man really says it all.
The airport story got me. My partner and I once flew back from Jordan to the UK. Pre-Brexit so my German passport was as good as her English one. During the flight an elderly Jordanian woman had a medical crisis. I think it might have been a heart attack. It wasn't exactly broadcast over the speakers. But we were immediately diverted to the nearest airport which happened to be in Puglia/Italy. The woman and her family were carted off to receive medical aid - brilliant. Unfortunately by that time our pilot had exceeded his maximum work hours. We could not go on and had a surprise overnight stay in Puglia.
Now comes the kicker. All the non-Jordanians on this Jordanian flight got accommodation, all Jordanians had to stay behind in the tiny airport lounge (imagine those seats with armrests just to prevent you from lying down). There was a highly pregnant young woman, I cannot imagine how uncomfortable this must have been. But they didn't have an Italian visa, they only had one for the UK. Common sense is frequently uncommon in these situations. But as bad as I felt, what could we realistically have done to help?
I mean, maybe you could have bought a camping mattress for the pregnancy lady or something, but I don't blame you for doing nothing because none of these people were your bestie that you were travelling with.
@@latronqui erm, a tiny regional airport in the most rural area of Italy, at midnight? There was nothing open. We weren't scheduled to land there, so there was hardly any staff. I just recounted the story to point out how casually cruel systems can be. Were they afraid the Jordanians would run off into the Italian night? Hide under the shuttle seats to escape? That experience just always stuck with me. Two tier travel!
I'm going blind and had a guide dog who I had to retire in the middle of July (currently trying to get a new one) and tysm for pointing out not talking to them while on harness, that was really annoying.
Good luck finding another dog, I know they can be crazy expensive!
"I removed the dog" is conspicuously vague language. OP knows they're TAH and is trying to word things to make them the hero for saving the two year old they were so unaware of they somehow didn't notice until the dog was touching the child..
For people not in the US, Home Depot is dog friendly. Many people train their service dogs there when they're "in training" and not a "full fledged" service dog, and many people bring their pet dogs and even small horses because it is entirely allowed. It's a home improvement store, where I live it's used largely by farmers who bring their dogs everywhere so it's just normal. They're expected to be polite, but they're dogs, unless they are actually "working" and fully vested and presenting themselves as a service dog, they should be treated as a pet dog which again, is allowed in this particular store.
Holy crap! Airport Woman is definitely TAH. Are you kidding me, trapped at an airport with no bed and no phone? I'd never talking to her again. I've been abandoned by friends for less.
I think the skill of putting yourself in other peoples shoes would have really done OP some good here. Something that helps me to decide if I'm in the wrong is putting myself in the other persons position and would I like it if my friend left me? no, well then there's your answer. Defo think that's a helpful skill
@@whatismylifeanymore Maybe she did and wouldn't have minded to be left alone. I wouldn't be able to sleep in public even if I had a friend there, so it would be convenient to have one person with brain-function when the journey continues the next day. Therefore I wouldn't mind, if I were the friend.
It is helpful to try to put oneself in other's shoes, but it doesn't mean you'd aways be right.
5:15 as someone who owns an unpredictable dog ask ANY dog owner if you want to pet their dog.
I'm assuming you also don't take them out in public and let them sniff strange toddlers. I always assume the biggest risks to dogs are children since they are so unpredictable and parents are so protective. This guy was being irresponsible by not paying attention to his dog. You never know what some unleashed kid is going to do 😂
While I agree that the owner should have paid more attention to what their dog was doing, touching an unfamiliar dog is a bad idea in general.
@@rage_of_aquariusagreed about small kids being unpredictable around animals, and this kid was only 2 years old so not an age where kids usually understand yet how to behave around animals, but OP was holding his son’s hand and the dog came to them. OP was keeping his child close and supervised, the dog owner was not.
I don’t think it was a service dog at all, as it would be very unusual for a service dog that is working to wander off, ie ignore his duty, and go sniff a small child. Yes even service dogs can make mistakes, but they are usually extremely well trained to assist the person when ‘on duty’.
FR the amount of rage I feel when I'm tryna walk my dog, and I have my headphones on cause I have terrible anxiety and can't stand talking to anyone, and people will literally just continuously beckon my dog over. And she's a big girl so I immediately get yanked towards who ever it is and then have to stand there for like 10 whole minutes while they pet my dog. Also some people will literally beckon her over from across the street, like? Sure just tell my dog to run into oncoming traffic, that's totally fine, HUH?! Leave me tf alone strangers, or ask politely. The only people that are polite about it are small children and that's it, they're always very lovely and gentle and always ASK FIRST, so I don't mind them at all
Ok rant over, dog petters, BE RESPECTFUL LIKE THE CHILDREN. Istg, I will let my malamute eat you when you inevitably touch her paws which is the only thing that makes her angry AAAA
@casper9104 you definitely need to work on the pulling issue though, or either of you could get hurt. Definitely other people need to not call random dogs, but you should have full control over yours, too, because you can't rely on anyone else to behave appropriately. It's actually not that hard once you have the right tools and master the technique. Remember, you lead the walk, so your dog doesn't determine where to go, when to go, or how fast to go, they're meant to just relax and enjoy the journey.
First story - ESH
I'm an adult without a child and I wouldn't like it if a random dog approached me while I was trying to pick out home repair supplies. Just because the store allows dogs doesn't mean it's ok for them to be sniffing on me.
Still, don't touch someone else's dog unless the dog is being aggressive or someone is in immediate danger.
Story 1 was a YTD for me too. Maybe with a hint of ESH but OP was worse. 1) The dog sounds harmless but if it wasn’t picking up his kid was a faster, safer way to ensure the kids safety. If the dog was reactive, hip checking it/ pushing it could have caused it to attack. 2) Teaching kids to be scared of dogs is not smart. Dogs pick up tension in people and mirror it, and nervous dogs can be reactive too. A kid who is calm but sensible around dogs is best for the child (ie they aren’t scared but they won’t pet them without asking the owner). 3) Especially with it being a service dog, I kind of wonder if the kid enticed the dog over in some way. This is speculation on my part but it sounds like OP didn’t notice the dog approaching, or presumably they’d have moved the kid faster? It does sound like they weren’t closely watching what the kid was doing. I have a dog and little kids love to try and get his attention, sometimes without their parents noticing. 4) He’s teaching the kid to immediately resort to, admittedly gentle, violence when approached by dogs. Not only is this unsafe, it’s also unkind.
I get the impression OP is scared of dogs, so their reaction is in some ways understandable, but it’s not in the best interests of their child.
OP said he was holding the child's hand when this happened. While I agree that his reaction was bad, I'm still thinking ESH, because no one should ever let their dog, service or pet, approach someone else's child without permission. It's a bad idea for both the child and the dog.
@@cathleenc6943 while I agree, I think the father was still the worst A.H. in the situation. Hip checking an unknown dog is very dangerous, if that dog has any injury or joint pain in that area then it's very likely to try to bite. And it wouldn't be a strange reaction from the dog! So, yes ESH but the father definitely was the worst.
He could have seriously hurt that dog, and this in turn could have made the situation much more dangerous. He got mad at the dog for its owner's misbehaviour :[
20:19 I understand both perspectives. I think that everyone should clean after themselves and that certain tasks should be shared. Bathrooms need cleaning, vacuuming needs to be done etc. just being tidy isn't enough. But doing the chores assigned to her in her time as long as it's not putting it off for weeks.
Even if the amount of cleaning hasn't increased, it would feel unfair for one person to live there without doing chores. But the solution to this is to assign them chores, and if they can't come on Monday find something else. OP isn't handling this like an adult.
8:18 the only situation in which he would not be the drama is if his kid was allergic to dogs or the dog was being aggressive. Sounds like this man just doesnt like dogs and shouldnt be around them tho. Also like Home Depots aisle are HUGE how did a dog manage to surprise you that much? The floors are concrete and it’s always so echo-y, i have so many questions!
Even if the kid was allergic, most people with dog allergies (myself included) dont react that badly. Even if there was risk of a bad reaction though, touching the dog to move them wouldve put the kid at more risk because they wouldve contaminated their hands, meaning they couldn't touch the kid anymore until they washed their hands. And if the dog was aggressive, touching and pushing the dog could've made the dog lash out at op or their kid since the kid would still be right next to the dog
I dont think op was really worried about the kid, like you said i think they just didn't like the dog. Or maybe a germ thing. I dont think any new information would make op nta
As well on the 2nd to last story, it seems up until the help out on cleaning day event, the mother wasnt even giving her specific tasks to do? Sure, she brought up the dishes rota, but what she shouldve done is told her where in the rota she will go, instead of assuming she would automatically understand and fall into place. It sounds like shes been there for 3 or less weeks, so she certainly doesnt know how the family like all their tasks being done, and i wouldnt feel comfortable being thrown into cleaning without knowing how its expected to be done. Maybe im just neurodivergent, but i think the mother being way clearer and especially involving her son couldve basically resolved the whole situation
Exactly, OP needs to set clear expectations for the chores instead of being passive-aggressive about it.
The timeline stood out to me too! OP was getting frustrated with GF within 3 days of her moving in - which is not enough time to settle into the routine in the BEST of circumstances, let alone coming from a bad situation to a new household you don't know the specifics of or feel comfortable in yet, without being given any specifics on what is expected of you.
If OP had shown GF how they like something done while OP was doing it, talking through specific things like "we put these dishes up top but these ones we hand wash because blah blah blah, here's where the soap is, we only use this setting on the dishwasher unless the whole bottom is pots and pans," etc. that would be a different story - but that soon after moving in I wouldn't even know where all the dishes get put away, like come on
23:46 gf going through tough time, was cleaning own mess and is a guest. She offered to do another thing/day, she was not rude. Does the family situation mean she's out of pocket and can't afford the maid fee.
I never made my own child do chores, nor her f&f staying with us. People offer or, if there was a big mess (made food or crafts) I'd ask them to help me (and I'd do at least half, most when they were younger). My daughter never had set chores and never earned her pocket money. She just learned to help/offer without being asked. She is now an adult who manages her own laundry /food (living with us still) and offers help, puts laundry on, manages her money well and appreciates when I do cook for her or offer to throw her clothes in the washer.
For Nervous Boy - Mother in law is DEFINITELY the drama. I do think three years is a long time to take out of the workforce though, because HR people hate resume gaps, so maybe doing one year on/one year off for six years makes more long-term career sense.
That is exactly what I was thinking. If he does "nothing" for three years, it might not be as easy to step into the workforce as he might think. Starting a career as a young person is notoriously difficult (at least where I'm from), so he should be considering what he wants to do after the break and how he's going to achieve that.
Hey Shaaba! I just wanted to thank you for sharing your experience at airports because wow, as a young white woman (American) I truly didn't know that's how things were for some people. I mean, that's just insane. These learning moments always make me feel embarrassed and ashamed that I wasn't aware of the struggles many go through, but I'm doing my best to use those feelings to fuel myself to be better educated on the situations of other people who maybe don't look like me or have the same experiences as me. Anyway, thank you, and Happy New Year!
Some hardware stores in the US do allow pet dogs. I've really only seen service/therapy dogs who are in training there, though. Still no excuse to shove the dog! Move the kid away and tell the owner to keep the dog away.
Yeah, I see plenty of pets in our hardware stores. The local place even has a store cat who lives there. I'm afraid of cats, so I just move myself, not the cat, like a rational person 😅
Home Depot allows pets.
I do not have a service dog, but I go there all the time for training or for a walk when I need to get light bulbs or whatever.
My dog has saddlebags and I make her carry whatever we buy on the way home.
The OP in the first story sounds like they have an unaddressed intense fear of dogs and they definitely need to work on that so their kid doesn't pick it up when they're older.
It honestly reminded me of my dad who wont admit that he's scared of dogs. My mom desperately wants a dog but he's threatened that if she gets one it will 'disappear' one day. I guess that's why the story made me so angry😅
I somehow got emotional during the outro, thinking "omigosh, it's Shaaba's last video of 2024!" And then thought, "tsk! It's not like she's announcing her last video ever."
But then felt validated when Shaaba got a little emotional, too. 🤗💖
Happy New Year, everyone! 🎊🥂🍑
Hi shabba!! I never comment on videos but i just wanted to say that for years i have loved yours and jamies youtube channels and i in particular love your aita videos and i love that podcast!!! You are one of the things i am grateful for this year!! Im a childrens book illustrator and when i paint i watch something of yours jamies or yours together! Hours and hours of watching your content has brought to life 4 books this year ( i only started illustrating in august!) !! And hopefully more in the new year! Keep uo your incredible content. Much love
Story 1: Definitely needed more info, when the info came in YTD, you don’t assault a service animal. You can place your hand between child and animal to shoo said animal away but a hip-check is the same as kicking and is considered disrupting the service animal in it’s duties
You shouldn't put a hand in if you aren't well-versed in canine behavior, but shifting your whole body between the two before grabbing the kid is the safest option since the dog sees it as someone creating a barrier and asking it to respect the child's space rather than an act of potential aggression or a game of keep-away
Regarding the first story: It also had me wondering what kind of service dog this was and if the service dog may have been reacting to something in the child. People not understanding service dogs baffles me to this day, though, and that OP is definitely TA
Thanks for existing shaaba, I’m currently battling with either a vicious flue or covid and hearing your sweet and kind voice just brightened my day 🙏
I hope you feel better soon, fellow peach!
Happy new year Shaaba! My exciting news for the new year is that on January 3rd I’m moving in with my boyfriend, and once I’m no longer living at home I’ll be able to start going on T and schedule a consult for top surgery! 2025 is looking to be an exciting year!
20:19 i feel like there is a second thing here- OP doesn't want to switch the day or leave the girlfriend's part for a different day beacuse that would that her son could also do it in a different day and him not being there would no longer be an excuse.
Second thing is that practices are oretty regular so I'd assume he goes there every Monday, therefore never partaking in the cleaning. Why did OP set up that day to be a deep clean day then? If he can never be there- that's a pretty big scheduling issue that feels deliberate on OP's side.
If we're talking about high school sports he probably has practice for 2-3 hours every day and games on the weekend. I would need more information about his schedule before I said it was deliberate by OP.
the airport friend reminds me of a situation I was in 2 years ago when I wound up having to stay overnight in the airport because I was an idiot who didn't book a hotel room after standing in line for 4 hours to book my flight for the next day and I was traveling solo. luckily I met a very nice family that let me rest with them until I was able to get back through security because it was bedlam trying to find a hotel and everywhere was booked. it was quite the experience that I would not recommend repeating. i was able to find some places to rest at the gate at least so I wasn't sleeping on the floor but I think I was a little too jet lagged to truly realize how bad this whole thing was at the time. so shame on that friend for leaving her bestie behind. no besties left behind.
Regarding story #1; I’m surprised the comments on it, because my first instinct if a service dog comes at me sniffing I’ll instantly think it’s looking for help. A lot of them are trained to do that. Second; move the child, not the dog. Bottom line with animals you don’t know, whether they are trained or not, you do not grab/touch/push/pick up. You never know how an animal will react. Good grief, the dog could’ve gone for OP for doing that or their child… People really don’t think before doing anything! I had a service dog (retired now) and the things I was put through!!!
This was my thought as well - perhaps there was a reason the service dog was sniffing. Some service dogs rely on scent for alerts, right? Would it not make sense for such a dog to sniff its surroundings to sort of familiarize itself? Or like you said, could have been looking for help. Regardless, OP's reaction definitely seems over the top (and over the line).
You can talk to the owner of the service dog and tell them how lovely their dog is. With my daughters service dog (a Golden) we wanted people to ask and then we would have the dog sit before being petted. My daughter's Cerebral Palsy isolates her so we went with this instead of the no touching police because it put people at ease and they could converse about her dog without anyone feeling weird or uncomfortable because they had never been taught how to talk to people with handicaps.
This was a great episode to end 2024 with. Thank you so much for keeping us company throughout the year, Shaaba! My very best wishes to you and all your loved ones.
If the dog from the first story was a service dog, he might have been off duty since it was a pet friendly location. Just thought I might add that because, yes, service dogs can and do make mistakes but usually, at least in my case, they don’t make mistakes very often because they have a lot of training. Also I usually don’t make my service dog work in pet friendly locations. Yes, he can still alert and task, but I don’t need him to be so perfect.
This could be the case, however I will point out that a lot of people I have known over the years (even as I worked in a pet store which was VERY pet friendly) will not have their service animals wearing the vest if they're not actively working. I'm sure I don't have to point out, also, that many people will buy fake service animal vests online and claim that their pets are service animals or emotional support animals just because they want to, whether or not the animal in question is actually trained to perform assistive tasks. The fact that the dog in the story was wearing a vest and the owner immediately got angry because their dog was being interacted with even though they were not taking the steps to ensure their dog was staying close to them (working or not) indicates more to me that everybody in the situation sucks.
Should the service dog be wearing his “I am a service dog” jacket / harness if he is not working though? Is that usual? I do not have a service dog but I work with someone who does, so the dog is at work with us several times a week, but when he is not working he is also not wearing his ‘work clothes’ to makes a clear distinction for the dog between working and not.
I couldn't help wondering, if the dog was even interacting with the kid or just like walking by, since the OP did seem quite dramatic in the first place. Either way, it was pretty stupid to touch the dog, because even well trained animals can be unpredictable, if they feel threatened.
If the kid wasn't afraid of dogs and I'd think the OP would have mentioned it, I would say he would be more frightened by his father's over-reaction than the dog.
@@lupessreturns true, I was thinking maybe they had already been out on errands, hence the vest, and then decided to stop in and gave the service dog a break.
@@s.a.4358 this depends on the handler and what works for them and the dog. I know people who do that and I know people who don’t
I remember the first time I ever traveled alone. My flight didn't go as planned... the wind was too strong in Nashville, Tennessee. And my plane was running out of fuel, so instead, we landed in New Orleans, and we were stuck there for the night. And I completely missed the event I was originally traveling to attend! The airport offered to pay for me to stay in a hotel but I decided to stay in the airport because I have a lot of anxiety and was afraid of missing the flight the next morning. I didn't sleep at all because I ABSOLUTELY refuse to sleep in public. (Again, anxiety, and I don't trust strangers), so yea, after all that, I am now a nervous flyer.
I think it is very difficult when you are in someone elses home, because if you are being expected to go around their home cleaning and tidying up, it means you are having to go around touching and moving other peoples, that you barely know's belongings. Some people can feel really uncomfotable and feel like they are prying into others personal things.
5:29 in most states here in the US, it is an actual crime to intentionally interfere with, including intentionally distract, a service animal.
Meeting you and Jamie was one of the highlights of my 2024!
I have to tell you a Peaches story. My grandson is nearly 3. The other morning my daughter was asking him what he wanted for breakfast. She told him they had some peaches. "Peaches!" he exclaimed. "Daddy has big peaches, mommy has big peaches and I have little peaches." 🤣
ESH- in regard to the service dog. First the owner because you should be aware of your dog, who it’s approaching and dog friendly places doesn’t matter when it comes to being a responsible handler. 2nd the dad, even thought he probably acted on instinct not forethought when he perceived his small child was in danger. Sometimes there really isn’t enough time to use words before you react. They both should have apologized and taken a learning experience away that both gentleman need to pay more attention to their kid/dog. Not everyone loves dogs or even likes them, that holds no merit on proper handling.
I really appreciate your comment! I feel like not enough people are talking about the fact a dog shouldn't approach someone without permission in public (unless it is a service dog alerting, of course)
Nah. There is no reason why he should've thought the kid was in danger. He clearly has an extreme phobia of dogs and that doesn't give him right to assault the dog. He needs therapy. Plus he should've been holon his child that young as home depot isn't a kid friendly place. There is ZERO reason as to why he didn't always have an eye on and attention on his child. My kids are 11 and 10 amd even just at Walmart I still always know where they're at and I have ADHD amd autism. No excuse on the dads part. Imagine how easily it could've been the kid getting into something causing severe harm with the store they were at. If the kid grabbed something amd broke something or grabbed a tool or something off a shelf and hurt himself or someone else, everyone elwould be talking about how he shouldn't be so distracted when he has his toddler with him. I feel like he's probably not used to actually being solely responsible for his own child.
Happy NYE from Australia 🎊🎉
The "some places" might be liminal spaces - because they are designed for people to move through, not to properly inhabit. They're where you pass through to actually get somewhere, not a destination. Airports and hospitals both qualify and alleyways are the definition of liminal.
11:00 Situations like story #2 are why I will use a travel agent if I ever fly outside of the country. This is where travel agents earn their fees.
Any good agent will already be resolving the problem by the time you call in.
Real question, as a person who wants to use a travel agent but doesn't know how to find a good one. What could a travel agent do? If you're a person from a country with such a weak passport that you can't leave the airport in the EU because you don't have a European Visa, presumably, that visa process takes weeks (which I only know by watching Uyen Ninh), so if that airport doesn't have a hotel or lounge within that foreign area of the airport (and even as an American, I've definitely landed in many foreign airports where there are no services beyond a restroom before going through the immigration process), I don't see any possible place for a travel agent to help.
Airport story: I honestly didn't realise how bad the discrimination was until I saw it. I asked my friend, "How long does it take to get through the local airport?" And he said, "It depends if you're brown or not."
I laughed it off. Until we had to go through the airport together for work, and out of 30 of us, he was the only one stopped and searched, and it took ages.
"Random" my arse.
For the first story, depending on what the service dog's tasks are it may have been doing its job by sniffing the toddler. But considering the owner said the shop is a dog-friendly place there is the possibility OP assumed the dog was a service dog when it wasn't. If the dog was a service dog but wasn't performing its tasks, or if it wasn't a service dog at all, then the owner should have had a bit more control over their dog. I'm always careful about where my dog is and stop her from just randomly approaching people (but that's mostly down to her being a Staffordshire Bull Terrier and more people being hesitant about that type of breed). But no matter what OP is definitely the drama.
The thing with the airport though in the second story, as they were supposed to be getting a connecting flight the friend may not have been able to leave the area for connecting flights and OP would not have been able to buy anything to pass along to their friend as they wouldn't be allowed into this part of the airport and leave again (or if it's a similar layout to Heathrow OP may not even be able to access the area the friend had to stay in after leaving). Typically though airports do have at least one shop at all parts of the airport where the friend could have bought a charger themselves, or checked at their flight's customer service desk on what they could do to make the situation more comfortable for friend. I would personally say OP is a bit of the drama for not offering to stay with their friend, but I do have to admit if I was in OPs shoes I'd have explained to my friend I was going to the hotel (but that's due to me have chronic joint pains more than anything).
I feel like if I was the friend that had to stay and my friend had chronic pain, I would ORDER her to go to the hotel (just because I have a friend with chronic pain who isn't very likely to want to leave me in that situation) but it doesn't seem to be the case.
No service dog should ever be sniffing strangers as a task. That kid could be allergic or super scared. Do you have an example of a task that would require a dog to sniff strangers unannounced?
@@MichiruEll There are some times a service dog will alert for someone other than their owner. And in some cases their way of recognising an issue is by sniffing, for example for PoTS. Or if their owner has a severe allergy to something the dog is trained to detect it by scent and then alert their owner to avoid that place/person.
Nah. The dad is clearly the super scared one. Lmao He needs therapy. You and only you are responsible for your feelings and triggers. There was no reason for him to over react like that and certaintly no reason for him to assault the dog. Plus he shouldve been holding his child that young as home depot is NOT a child friendly place. You wouldnt be ig oring thay if the kids broke stuff or did something to harm himself or others. (Which would be very easy to do at a home depot. He shouldve been paying attention to his child. It isnt other people's responsibilityto manage your fears and watch YOUR child for you.)@@MichiruEll
i have never been this early to one of shaabas videos before im so happy :)
For the situation with the dog: If the roles were reversed and a child was touching something it shouldn't, it would never be ok, for a stranger to touch the child. Why should this be different?
I’ve never traveled to the UK but I would think that an airport is a pretty safe place to be alone, all things considered. The lack of sleep sucks, but at least they have intense security measures and police around the whole time. If I was stuck someplace overnight the airport would be someplace I would feel relatively safe in (as long as I was able to give my friend my most valuable items or secure them in a locker). The friend should have bought an extra phone charger bare minimum but I think No Drama Here.
Glad you and jamie have had some awesome parts of 2024... mine sucked and good riddance to it. Yay for 2025 🎉
Happy New Year to both of you and all the pets out there as well!
This is your regular reminder that you're all awesome, beautiful and valid little peaches, just the way you are ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 Love you all ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 Happy Holidays everyone 🎄🎁🎄🎁🎄🎁🎄🎁🎄🎁🎄
For the first story; from my knowledge of service dogs, which is my grandma having a service dog, is that serves dogs are trained to not go up to and sniff/ touch other people when on duty so that is probably why service dog was in quotation marks.
ESH for the first story.
As someone who lives in America and has seen first hand with previous experience, some people will purchase old service dog vests or vests that look similar and claim their dogs are service dogs when they are not. I don't know if that's what their situation is, but I do know that properly trained service dogs are not supposed to roam and sniff people. Even if the dog was in training, the dog owner should have kept an eye on them and corrected the behavior.
The parent should have kept a closer eye on their kid (put them in a shopping cart- it's the safer option when roaming a store) and definitely should not have hip-checked the dog. Whether it's previous trauma or just that they didn't want a strange dog being near their child, there was a better way to handle the situation. I do acknowledge they were probably reacting in the moment and not really thinking, though. I'm just glad the dog didn't lash out when touched the way it was. Both parties suck in how they handled the situation, overall, though.
Dogs are allowed in Home Depot and Lowes.
I take mine all the time. It's one of the few places i can go to let my pups get new experiences to train them.
Happy New Year! You’re awesome, Shaaba 💗💗
When I was young I was a soldier and learned to sleep anywhere. Now, my arthritis would make that very painful. Still I would go buy sleeping bags and we could taken shifts sleeping and watching. I would ache but my friend could rub my back to help me loosen up.
1st story: OP is CLEARLY the asshole. Idk what happened to people on Reddit with this one.
2nd story: no one is the asshole. I understand why the friend would be scared and not want to be alone but I also understand OP. In this situation I wouldn't want my friend to stay in the airport if they're being offered a hotel room. I'd probably ask if they can do some stuff for me though (bring me a bottle of water, some food and a charger, before they leave).
Seriously. If the kid broke something or got hurt because he stopped paying attention attention that much for that long, no one would be advocating that it is other people's responsibility to watch his child for him. My kids are in tweens now and I still always know where they're at in the store, even when it's just at Walmart or target. It also isn't other people that are responsible for managing your fears (which the guy clearly has immense fear of dogs he needs therapy for.) Your feelings are solely your responsibility.
12:41 i’ve had to do that before, thankfully i had another person with me so it wasnt as scary and we could take turns taking naps on the airport ground, YTD, i could not imagine having to do that alone
Love you Shaaba!!🩷🩷🍑🍑
No no no nervous peach! NTD!!! I love the way you decided to live your life, well done and congratz to you! You do you and don't let anyone bring you down just because you found your bliss and it's not a hassle and hassle all the time scheme! We should work to live not live to work! ^_^
Good way to teach your kid to be scared of dogs. It's an AH move regardless of the dog... A "service dog", one of the most trained dogs on earth?! Double AH badge for you good sir!
It's so different for me at airports. I'm still a female but Mediterranean/white, I love airports and I travel a lot alone through them at times with 5 or 6 hours wait and I always love it. I pass through Zurich, Munich or Frankfurt and the airports are so well-equipped for sleep and waiting time... it would have never crossed my mind it could be such a scary experience. I've learned today!
Would still say AH even if the son was cleaning. She's not leaving a mess, it seems like you only said yes to have a pair of helping hands. If she was leaving extra work for you I would agree but you said it yourself she wasn't adding any work so what is your problem?
People are crazy to say NTD for the first OP.
It's common sense to remove your CHILD and not touch the dog. Why would you push the dog away? I've seen many people say that is the right reaction to protect the child but it's even disregarding the service dog stuff is a bad idea.
Reacting overly aggressive or fearful and touching a dog you dont know is such a bad idea. Dogs can feel that and can become reactive to it. Clearly the OP has some fear or distaste of dogs and they can feel that. If it weren't a well trained dog and just some pet someone brought it (maybe the case we will never know) than the fig could have reacted and jumped at OP or the kid.
The best thing to do is remain calm and with slow movements. The dog was only sniffing but even if it was growling slowly distancing and picking up the child or moving them to the opposing side is the correct way to handle the situation. Touching the dog is always a bad idea in the situation OP described. OP is the drama for sure, yeah maybe the dog owner should have been paying more attention and kept the dog from sniffing but if it's a small hallway there's only so much distance to keep and reacting in such a dramatic aggressive way isn't really effective.
the last story - totally awesome that op was able to fund a three-year sabbatical. They're not avoiding work. They said they were doing art. That IS a job! if they aren't making money from it (yet), art is still work. it's a "piece of art work" not a "piece of art lazing around". mil needs to butt tf out.
Happy new year crew!!
What a juicy final AITA! Hope you have a happy New Years Shaaba!
I have spent a LOT of times in airports. a lot of them have cots for loan. they're not super comfortable, but they are better than the floor covered in the germs of a million shoes. It's on the airport to provide the accommodations. If i were the person who had to stay in the airport, i would insist my friend go to the provided hotel. it's not their fault the airport sucks and at least one of us should be able to get some rest.
that said - i am very used to be alone in airports and have slept in....five? maybe six? different airports across two countries. it's just a thing. if the reverse were the case and i was the one who could leave, i would talk to the friend first. if they were afraid, i would stay with them. I always travel with a sleep mask (a regular face mask works in a pinch) as well as at least one spare charger and a neck pillow. but then, i have a lot of practice.
i agree op should have gotten a few amenities for the friend before trundling off to a cozy hotel room.
First story was a YTA. If the person with a service dog was standing looking at the shelves next to you, then obviously the dog would be close to your child.
Service dogs are supposed to ignore other people but if a quick turn of the head puts it in sniffing range of your kid then that's a very easy and small slip up to make. Are you also sure that your child didn't interact with the dog first? Have you taught them to leave dogs alone when they see them?
Hip checking the dog was an overreaction when you could have picked up your child or swapped places with them.
Maybe next time put your kid in a trolley with a child seat if you don't want dogs approaching them in a dog friendly space.
All the best for the New Year✨
Have a blessed New Year!
8:37 I've actually slept at an airport in the past because I didn't want to spend money booking a hotel nor the hassle of going thru airport security again lol
Yeah nah the first OP has no reason to hipcheck the dog unless the dog was showing signs of aggression.
(Also I realise hipchecking is a thing outside of Monster Hunter, but I can't help imagine that OP was a Plesioth so it makes a sad story a little more funny for me)
Story 1. Home Depot does allow pet dogs. Thats why the dog owner was upset and said that the guy shouldn't go to pet friendly places(other than his dog being shoved). I think people have missed this part. So yes, the OP is definitely the drama here if the dog was just sniffing. Shoving any dog could have scared it enough to bite or snap. Unless the dog was barking or growling then don't mess with someone else's dog!
When our school class took a trip to our country's capital, one of my less white-looking classmates was stopped by the police. I'll repeat... A CHILD whose only suspicious behavior was not being white was stopped by the police, and they stopped interrogating him only after our group said he's with us.
I’m barely a minute in (and yes it is “dipo” not “dEPo”) and I just have to ask what kind of sweater/cardigan you’re wearing because that thing looks hella comfy?? Oh and an (early) happy new year Shaaba!
no its definitely dEPo like in rhe commercials
Well in certain parts of the UK a bus depo is pronounced dEPo not Deepo. Where I'm from we never say 'deepo' it's dEPo. It just depends where you're from.
@@belladonnichazeyjane4887the STORE is pronounced dee-poh. The word "depot" in general can be either dee-poh *or* dep-oh, depending on what dialect of English you speak. In the Americas it is officially "dee-poh" while in the UK & Aus it is "dep-oh".
"Dipo" os not correct anywhere. The pronunciation you're thinking of is "dep-oh". With a short "e", not an "i" that's short or long.
6:04 Lmao this made me crack up XD
First story: Home Deeepot (that's how they pronounce it, to answer your question, Shaaba) is pet friendly, but the guy pointing that out makes me doubt it was a service dog, as does the way it goes up to sniff and poke the kid. Guy shouldn't be hip checking the dog for a sniff though. ESH.
Third story: The obvious sexism throws it clearly over the line, but I think the rest of the circumstance push it over either way. Under different circumstances I could see asking her to chip in on the cleaning financially, because an extra person existing in a place is going to increase the mess. A week of one person scuffing the floor vs a week of two people scuffing the floor. The story as-is, definite YTA.
I'm a parent of toddlers and I can assure you that your assessment of the service dog story is right. Most parents would have just retrieved the baby. NOT someone else's retriever!
I don't like strange dogs approaching my children because I have dog trauma, BUT I always pick up my toddler I don't touch the dog!
I have had people get mad at me for "assuming" their dog will hurt my baby, but I don't trust ANY dogs so I mostly just ignore it.
Oh my gosh, first comment!! (Also, thank you for the awesome videos Shaaba!!)
Home Depot is openly a dog-friendly store (I always loved going there with my dad for that reason), so it could very well have not been a service dog at all, and instead was just a normal pet, but it was still completely welcome to be there regardless, and it wasn’t doing any harm. If you don’t want to go to a “fucking dog park,” go to Lowe’s. There were so many opportunities for OP to be NTA, but he didn’t take any of them
Oh dang, I knew there was discrimination against bipoc people going on at the airports but I didn't realize the depths. Disgusting. Thank you for sharing your stories, I will put this knowledge to use.
It's crazy. I'm from southamerica and i'm always scared when going through europe airports, but nothing bad has ever happened to me. I realize it's because my skin is white!
Genuinely ngl the last year has been sooooooo bad , especially the last 2 months.
I can't wait for 2024 to be over and I am so hoping next year will be better 😂
I feel ya mate 😢 mine started off bad and just got worse. But I'm hopeful for next year for the both of us!! Best wishes from one trans masc to another 🩵🤍🩷 I love your name also, it reminds me of Ireland which I miss 😅
@frogsbongs
Ah no I'm sorry your year has also been not great , I hope 25 is your year ♡
Keep strong ♡
not to get to deep into it but I moved in Jan after being homeless for a year and thought amazing yes finally a new start to my life.
Then I was assaulted in Feb and my mh got really bad over the next few months and I went to the hospital for help and they said someone would help and noone ever contacted me.
Then my cat passed away and I ended up just being even more low.
Then I was assaulted by someone else in November and at the beginning of December made multiple attempts to "opt out".
I ended up un hospital and then told family about everything that's happened this last year.
2025 better be better then 2024 coz I barely made it though this year ♡
On to a better year!
@@jennifers5560 cheers to that *holds up a glass
wish I could say I was surprised about story #1, but I'm not. people don't understand service dogs, the laws and regulations around them, and the fact that they can make mistakes, be in training, etc. it doesn't help that people abuse the rather loose rules around declaring service animals which causes people to have faulty, misinformed, or other negative views of service animals and their handlers. Wishing the doggo and its handler all the best
I don’t think using your hip to bump the dog away is the same as distracting it. If a dog came up and was in my kid’s face I would have done the same thing. They removed the child and gently pushed the dog away at the same time. I don’t understand how anyone is acting like that was a bad thing to do. If the owner didn’t want someone to touch the dog they should not have allowed the dog to get into a kid’s face.
@introusas this is exactly how I feel about the situation too. A hip bump isn't a violent action. And the dad was already holding onto his kid's hand, it's not like he was being neglectful and letting his kid wander off (from my understanding of the post).
@@introusas I think so too. I understand that service dogs can make mistakes, but why didn't the handler correct it?
I have a regular non-service dog who loves people and would run up to anyone to be cuddled and I pay attention so he doesn't just do that (even though a lot of people instantly love him, because he's a friendly looking corgi). I have him leashed and at my side, especially with people around & in tight spaces I usually stand at the side with him between my feet to let the other person pass by. There are so many people that are scared of dogs, especially small children, because they often have experiences with getting bitten by dogs. No one should let their dog just walk up to people, whether it's a service dog or not. It goes both ways, no one should approach a dog without asking the owner, and no one should let their dog approach a person without their consent.
Yes service dogs can make mistakes, but they rarely do and especially not when they know they are working and need to assist their person (as opposed to being off duty, but in that case they aren’t wearing their jacket / harness). Service dogs are usually incredibly well trained and screened for their ability. For the dog to wander off and get so close to a small child - a 2 year old is around the height of that dog - is very unusual. The fact that his human didn’t see it happen is also a mistake (it doesn’t sound like it was a blind guide dog either). If the dog is in training, he’d very likely be wearing a vest that says that, at least that is the case where I live, and the person who is training him would actually need to be busy with the training and not allow the dog to go sniff random people.
I don’t think OP hip bumping the dog was a great choice, but the dog’s owner also has responsibility in what happened. Especially considering the child is a 2 year old toddler, so tiny compared to the dog, and not at an age where a child often knows how to behave around animals and could therefore also have pulled the dog’s tail, been rough with him, etc. OP was holding his child’s hand and keeping an eye on him, and the dog owner must do the same.
I do wish that here in the states we had stricter regulations around declaring a service animals. rn it's just a free for all, if you say it (and pay it) then it is so. it leads to people declaring animals that absolutely should never be (hate to say but my mom is a violator), which leads to people assuming most animal service declarations are fake. it harms those who really need them, makes people and institutions suspicious of those using the animals, etc.
I'm a white woman who hates flying, and I have never encountered anything worse than a delayed flight and/or flying with a migraine so far. I'm so sorry to hear that it's so much worse for you! I'd thought that, at best, one could expect the airports to just kind of... ignore those they'd discriminate against, so discrimination through just not being helpful (like the rude salesperson who won't help the perceived poor person type of thing). I hate to hear that it's much worse for you!
Spicy episode to end out the year!
Dude I am so sorry about your airport experiences. That is beyond fucked up and no one deserves that. The world needs to do better.
Shabba @ 7:45 - You're not a normal human being, but we're all mad here 😂❤
who cleans on a monday night? the usual day is a weekend - saturday or sunday. and the son just...doesn't have to??? the mom is super sexist and rude. that poor girl. she's estranged from her own family and then her bf's family tries to turn her into Cinderella. wtf...it's been three days!
There is no 'usual' day for cleaning LOL. Everynbody's schedule is different. I work from home and I clean whenever I want. In fact I rarely clean on the weekend, for me the weekend is for fun and relaxation. I prefer to do chores in the week.
Who decided the weekend is the 'usual' day for cleaning?
Otherwise I totally agree with your other comments.
@belladonnichazeyjane4887 for mon-fri people, Saturday is pretty common. But when i worked weekends, it was usually the day after my work week. So yeah- usual probably wasn't the optimal word. But hopefully you heard what i meant. It's just weird to have one day a week for cleaning and have that be on a work day. It's more often that you do some kind of cleaning daily and weekly cleaning on a day off. Monday just seems super random. If you want to start the week with a clean home, Sunday makes more sense
First story, ESH. Yes, you don't just touch an unfamiliar dog. OP also definitely should have noticed the dog approaching before. But also, the dog owner shouldn't let their dog approach random strangers, least of all toddlers. There are people who are scared of dogs, allergic to dogs, whatever, and especially with such a small child things can go wrong VERY quickly.
Third story- I think it's fine to ask someone who is planning on living in your home to participate in household chores. It sounds like chores work differently in gf's family's house and that's one of the things that come up when you start living with people for the first time whether it is this situation or a dorm room.
It's not ok for the girlfriend to be expected to do chores if the boyfriend isn't and charging her a maid fee is nuts.
Girlfriend is trying to clean up after herself, so it's not like she's making a huge mess for you to clean. It would be ok to kindly say "this is how we do things in this household" with the understanding that she has a different background and expectations.
With story 1 I agree with you completely
Regarding the first story: my biases are that I have young children and am not a dog person. It doesn’t sound like the dog was acting aggressively or posing a threat to the child, and in this situation I like to think I would either monitor the interaction carefully or just pick up my kid. I could see myself reacting non-favorably if I was startled by a dog and thought my kid could be in any danger-I wouldn’t hesitate to shoo or kick the dog away, and idgaf about the dog in that moment. My badge is ESH
Pets are allowed in a lot of home depots. Theres a real possibility (esp considering the pet owner's reaction of dude why didnt you expect a dog) that it was one if those home depots and that was just a pet dog.
Where do we submit our own stories? Is there a form or do we put it in the comments or is it a members feature or are they asked for on Instagram or something? I've got a few stories I'd like to submit.