What To Say to a Narcissist to Shut Them Down Permanently
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- Опубліковано 9 чер 2024
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What To Say to a Narcissist to Shut Them Down Permanently//If you've ever had to deal with a narcissist, you know how frustrating and infuriating they can be. But what if there was a way to shut them down permanently? In this video, Rebecca Zung, top lawyer and narcissist negotiation expert, shares crucial steps and phrases that will make any narcissist run for the hills!
#ShutNarcissistsDown #StopToxicPeople #RebeccaZung
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The commentary and opinions are for informational purposes only and not for
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I shut them down from the day I was born
I blocked him everywhere I hope he finally leaves me alone and not try and come back. He is the worst human I know and I found out he has tried to talk to my own daughter today 🤬
When I'm defending my family I won't let them get away with their lies something has to be done with this corrupt system.
I’ll never walk on eggshells for anyone ever again.
I’m done apologizing for who I am.
I’m done living in fear.
I’m done approval seeking.
I’m done defending myself to a deeply dysfunctional person.
I’m done giving myself to people who aren’t worth my time.
Do what I want to do. Say what I want to say. Don’t fear anyone’s reaction.
I don’t care what they think or what their opinion is. I can’t please the unpleasable.
I don’t owe anyone an explanation about anything.
I’m calling the shots.
Don’t worry about losing them; remember that I am someone who can be lost too.
Never appease to the extent of compromising my own boundaries.
I will not lay down my intellect and conform to them.
Refuse to be controlled by the controller.
I don’t need their: approval, affirmation, blessing, acceptance, support, endorsement, cooperation.
Their words & opinions are irrelevant. They have no authority to assign value to me.
Stop trying. (To be kind enough, good enough, understanding enough, communicative enough, loving enough, caring enough, etc.) It’ll never be enough.
So we'll said!!!
Bravo!
Well said!
👏👏👏
Wow everything you said is how I feel,I be want to tell a certain person off,but I chose silence,God bless 💕💛💕
You said it!
I'll be so happy when I can say that
LOVE WHEN REBECCA SAYS THE MORE THEY CAN BAIT YOU AND KEEP YOU IN AN EMOTIONAL STATE THE HAPPIER THEY ARE BECAUSE THEY EMOTIONALLY ABUSE!
Pretty sure there are narcissists watching These vids & claiming their victim was actually the narc. That's a promise. I pity any of us trying to reclaim our reputations after 'dating' a narc. Thanks for your Channel 👍❤️
#9 I have found dis-engaging very difficult because some narcissists have a tendency to follow the target until they get a reaction.
Turn your back and keep walking. They're training you to do that. No answer is an answer. Live your life happier without them.
React with pepper spray gel. The wind won’t blow it back on you.
I use the don't disrespect me line today when I blocked him everywhere so I'm enjoying this video I had like 25 calls yesterday when I was in Walmart driving me crazy block block block
Great to hear that's working!
But you what they get joy knowing they are in her head so much that you block them. I enjoy the fact that my ex blocks ME he can't handle
My haha nonchalant attitude at whatever he says. When I would get mad at cry he won, now I just say whatever.
2:27 "Let them think what they want."
So true. You don't need to engage with them. Just let them think.
Yes, leave folks with their own thoughts. Can apply in many life circumstances.😉
Wether it's intentional or not,why should an individual's presence in your life be so annoying,why do you find the need to feel disrespected,you don't need to justify your existence,good bad or I'm different,it's not negotiable,shut there evil ways off,don't aknowledge their existence,turn the tables on them,you shftt the dynamic❌🚩💥💲✔️✝️💊🚦
I made a narcissist cry when I broke up with her. She bought dinner at a restaurant. After we got home, I asked her to step outside with me. She was starting to cry and I didn't say a word about breaking her up with her yet. She thought that she was not at fault about anything. I just told her that I'm breaking up with her. She tried to brainwash me again and I haven't talked to her or seen her in close to 12 years.
Congratulations you, truly are the very few that can break up with someone to their face! I, appreciate a decent man like yourself!
More men need to look up to you!
Respect. that must’ve been hard.
You deserve a beer!
Your lucky. I'm from Europe and honestly I have to immigrate in another country after I left my ex narcissist. He became crazy and violent that scared the hell out of me. Probably he was a malevolent narcissist as he always was very violent with everyone around him. I lived almost 1 year in fear with him. Instead of feeling love and comfort i felt like I was in a relationship with a crazy animal.
Same thing here, I walked away from my X, I avoid her at all costs. I definitely don't want to see her crying 😢.
I am still recovering from being in a 23 year marriage with a narcissist and getting my self worth built up and finding my voice and teaching our 10 year old daughter that her thoughts and feelings matter as well. This has been a journey thus far and i want to thank you for taking the time to create these videos. I have found that with my narcissist that she deals with absolutes as in it is all or none with the words like our, sometimes, and occasionally not being in her vocabulary. I am also finding that she is of the mindset that if she just thinks sonething or has a dream that it must be real. I have used all these sayings to try to shut her down in the past but now see where i failed is that i did not require to be respected as for many many years i was treated as a mechanical object and not as a human being. Thanks again for the info you provide in your vids.
I use ¨Those are your feelings.¨ instead of ¨I´m sorry you feel that way,¨ because I am not sorry about anything, except knowing them.
👍 💯
Thanks 👍
Great video and great comebacks. Speaking from experience here, the best way to deal with them is using the old saying "Silence is Golden". It takes all of the second-guessing and stress off of you and finally allows you to finally be free. You can't ever change them. So, if the situation allows it, don't give them any reaction at all, they thrive off of that. Literally, do absolutely nothing and they get bored and go away eventually....unfortunately usually to go find another victim.
You can forgive a person for all the hurt that they put you through, but don’t be gullible enough to take them back and find yourself in the same position all over again.
💙UA-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
During a heated phone conversation, my narcissistic in-law didn't want to hear the truth and hung up on me. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I refuse her calls and no longer attend her family functions. To make herself feel like the "victim", she is telling everyone that I don't need her anymore because I have a new friend (I've known this friend for over 30 years). She's basically saying I used her for her companionship until I made a new friend. 🙄Pathetic. I'm soooo much more relaxed without her poking her nose in my life on a daily basis. I no longer argue with my husband about her either. So much happier!
I told my psycologist to give me tips on how to answer to a narcissist , compare to you she said nothing! You are great help. THANK YOU
I always push back its the most important thing to defeat a narcissist
Sometimes,just keeping a blank expression on your face really really helps too. They cannot read your expression to see if their verbal barbs and cheap shots took hold. It's really really frustrating for them.
Oh how I wish this was available when I was going through my divorce!
Please...LISTEN to her advice!!!
I am definitely listening. I am going through it now.
True 👍
Thank you for your help.it’s my sister that is the narcissist.I’ve had that all my life.now I’m in my seventies.I’ve had enough.I’ve no contact now thanks again
I did the "say nothing" which wasn't so good for me. I held too much in for too long and then when I was done, I blew up inside. I ended the friendship after she really pulled a well orchestrated phase-out of her social circle. Probably the best thing I ever did, but could have been handled better. I've learned so much since then, thanks to videos like these. Hell, I didn't even know what a narcissist was, to tell you the truth.
@Vashti neither did I know about narcissism (can't even spell it)
Same!!
SO FRICKIN’ READY!
You’re an Angel! Thank you for this xo
Yes!
So ready to shut them down.
Sooooo READY! Love this method to get them GONE!
Thank you so much for another valuable content. I have been trauma bonded by so many narcissists in my life I am finally coming to grips of breaking away from the packs once and for all. It may be too late though as the damage has been done. But first step is I am trying to disconnect from them forever,.
The peace I have post discard is what I have always longed for. Never too late.
It’s never too late to do the right thing
♥️
I always told such, as I used to call them,double standareded whatevers, - ' ' ALRIGHT, YOUHAVE IT YOUR WAY, I'LL DO IT MY WAY. ' ' But I also told some of these characters, but in that case doit, do it as you told me / as you suggested it to me?! What they really didn't. And than, thyan I knew, who / what I'm facing / standing across with. - Thank you Rebecca.
I'm on the fence about the "I'm sorry you feel that way" line. Narcs can use this too as a way to deflect and blame-shift. When a narc says "I'm sorry you feel that way, they're not taking accountability for their actions and the consequences OF those actions.
This has changed my life - thank you K🦋
Fabulous content. Tyvm! Successes towards slaying the narcs.
Met this elderly woman in the mall who started telling me her sad life story, me, me, me, me, "everyone is a narcississt" ... blah blah blah ... "I used to be wealthy, now have no money." Everything in my codependent soul told me to run, but I didn't. She kept love bombing me which struck me as very odd. I gave her time, resources, an ear, listened to her non stop talking. Two way communication was impossible and she was exceedingly needy. So I kept trying to assert my boundaries, but I was just so angry at myself that it came out hostile. Finally, I went no contact. I felt terrible about it, but I could see where this was going. Peace has returned to my home.
Thank you for being here with all your videos ,Thank you so much & wish you have a wonderful blessed night 🙏
You are doing wonderful work on your channel. Thank you for another great video.
I'm an almost healed codependent ( and ex people pleaser). Thank you for your advice. it tells me I'm on the right track.
Thank you so much for your help, support and commitment to help us. I can’t thank you enough. It has saved me
This has become a great homework assignment..top paper grade..
Rebecca
Thank you for your wonderful advice!
Have a beautiful day!
Be well and all the best!
SO ready!!!
Thanks Rebecca for educating us. My husband of 30 years has the traits, seems to be trying to better himself but I'm trying to be on guard and be constantly learning too. He has many good points, has made a good life for us so I keep trying too. I hope he will care enough at the end too. Thanks again
28 yrs.
One too many rages for me, even though I had a good life, in between!
Now youngest has left.. He's divorcing me. What the!?!
So ready! 🎉🎉
👍great content Becca..KEEPGOING 👌yes freedom. 👏
SO READY!!! On my way now
Thank you my Dear Rebecca
You got this!
so ready, thank you
Of course there's always the old saying -
"opinions are like ,,,,,,,,, everyone has one."
"And they All STINK"
SSSSOOOO READY 🙌
So ready!
So ready! 🤸
So ready!!
Thank you for this very helpful video! Another response that I've found worked well at work with attacking narcs was to calmly say "Duly noted". At first they thought I was complying, but then they found out I was documenting. Now it's a way to shut them down when they're attacking in front of an audience. It's amazing how efficiently the knowledge that they could be held accountable for their behavior shuts them down.
I am in a similar work situation can't leave the job yet. Good tip
so ready!!
I have used your #2 response recently on this one Narcissits & I was laughing inside from their shocked stund look, it shut them down as well 😁 thank you🤩 normally I would try to explain...they don't listen anyway......
so ready thank you
YES! You can do this!
Wow I used 3 of the suggestions exactly like you said and wowza they made him speechless , pause , not knowing what to say . He couldn't agree to disagree ! He had to be disagreeable he got chergined and mad because he could not provoke me. In 8 days he is moving into his own place 20 miles away, after living in his car mostly parked in my driveway. Never married the poor sot. Thank GOD!! GOT EM GOOD !!!
SO READY!
I’m ready 💯
I’m ready!
Thank you what a wonderful video everything you say is so accurate
so ready!!!
Thank you!
Been a narcy back to her, NO!, Works great, they dish it out, but can't handle it back soooo fragile. NO CONTACT WORKS BEST! A Work in progress, especially when you KNOW they do drugs. AFRAID NEVER, they are thin skinned to the max with brains TRULY of toddlers and can't handle anything showing their extreme shortcomings. ATTY ZUNG & so many others I am so grateful, you have made me an AMAZON 💪PERSEVERE , ROCK ON ALL OF YOU. Taylor S. Has been thru it too 🎶Your the only one of you, baby that's the fun of you 😜
Soooooooooo ready!!
Not communicating at all is kind of like letting them win. They have taken something away from you which is what they like to do. Communicate but don't react.
Lmao. Not communicating with someone you want nothing to do with , Is an awesome thing to do. Removing yourself from the leach is beneficial. It's like waiting for the lights to go on after you turn of the power. Theirs nothing they can do. In the end The one that stops communication is the one who wins. They're free.
So ready
So Ready!
So READY
so ready to shut my sister down! over 30 years of being her victim is more than enough! 🎉👍
I caused a major narc injury when I simply laughed 😅 at my narc mother finally. Only because She was talking ridiculous Nonsense in;
( Trying to one final project: Controlling my vote 🗳..lol..)
I didn't realize just how bad until I was Dimissed later & ELIMINATED FROM EXSISTANCE BY MY ENTIRE FAMILY..
She eventually got my adult daughters and Estranged husband whom is also a narc All against me..lol..
My Heart was and is broken 💔 over my children and grandchildren but they"'ll be back. My mother can't keep thier interest 🙄 SMH.
I LEARNED YEARS AGO , DO NOT ARGUE WITH NARCS!!!
NO CONTACT IS BEST!!!!
MY EX THINKS HE'S WON 🏆..I KNOW BETTER, HE WAS NEVER THERE WHEN MY 4 DAUGHTERS WERE GROWING UP..I SAY MINE..BECAUSE HE WAS BASICALLY A SPERM DONOR...
So ready!!!!!
SO READY‼️
SO READY!!!!!
Soooooo ready!!!!!!!
Thank you.
I ❣️❣️❣️ the simplicity!
So ready❤️
Awesome 👌
SO READY
So ready.
So super ready :)
I appreciate you l really do thanks.
Thank you
I've learned that my voice is the loudest when I don't say a word
I completely went no contact like blocking them, not responding to their calls and messages. I don’t know what that narc feel deprived of supply. Narc feels like I am disrespecting him. I don’t care because I know who he is..Now,I find little peace as I am far away and shut him down by being indifferent.
So ready..
so ready amen
I am really to slay. Because your method works..
Great to hear that!
Hello Rebecca good to c u
I have my own business and asked him so many times not to call the salon telephone because he got a high from wasting my time talking complete rubbish to keep me away from clients. Last week he threw me onto the streets and I've been sofa surfer on friends and families homes I've not replied to any if his calls and yesterday he walked unto the salon so proud and said hi to each and everyone of my clients and began cleaning up..... omg I stopped what I was doing with the client walked over to the salon door opened it stood there and said very firmly get out now, can you leave the salon right now. My clients knew what he had done and his toxic ways, they all gasped the salin was deadly quiet ...... no one even looked at him and I said it for the 3rd time a little louder " get out of my salon NOW"!!! thats has shut him and the humiliation he felt however I'm now waiting for him to be the nasty of the nastiest now.
Saying nothing as a response is not very satisfying - in fact it's been my experience that narcissists thrive on that. It feels like I'm backing down and the whole point of this video is to give the victims the power of responding verbally - which you have done a great job. I would like more of your feedback when it comes to response. That is personal power
I have no control over what your thoughts maybe. So ready...., so ready to step away from the go nowhere lie/ defense routine
Excellent points. Although I would never use the word trust with my roommate! I don't. I prefer to just look at her and walk away
Thank you for this. I got a rage text after I blocked a narc. He sent a text and called over voip. I’m at a loss because I’ve never had anyone text me from a fake number after being blocked. Definitely didn’t expect to hear from him again after blocking. I blocked him on social media too. I should’ve just put him on do not disturb so he didn’t know he was blocked and allowed him to feel like he had the last word. I’m afraid because he knows where I live. When he came to my house, he pointed out all of the danger spots in my house and told me what I needed to do to make it safer. So he definitely knows my weak spots. I just want him to feel like he has won so he doesn’t show up.
So Ready 😍😍😍🙏💖👍
The only suggested response I agree with is, "I disagree with you. Just because we disagree doesn't mean things have to become disagreeable." All the other responses come off too weak, and can too easily be twisted by the narcissist. Saying nothing can come off as agreeing with the narcissist, or as though you don't have a leg to stand on with your own side of the story.
The trauma bond can get you in your silence, but they don't have to know that.
@@michiganmymichigan I don't let that narcissist know anything. The down side of that is being two steps ahead of him keeps me in hypervigilance, which has created chronic stress, adrenal fatigue and sleep disruptions in me.
Also ,say ,"I can accept your faulty perception",and," I hear you,but I need to do something else right now". Yeah,like be with someone who isn't intent on twisting my words.)
Sooooo READY! WHICH I DO !! YAHOOOO💯❗🙌
Rebecca your awsome
Sosososososdamn ready
The best way is not respond.thank's a lot for your precious advices❤️
Exactly keep it moving.
If I said to my narcissistic mother: “I’m sorry that you feel that way.”, she took that as a win and behaved in a triumphant manner because she had made me “sorry”. Really skewed thought process. I learned very quickly that if I chose to say anything about how she felt about my actions, behaviour or what have you, I phrased it: “It’s a shame that you feel that way.” or “It’s really unfortunate that you feel that way.” No way was I going to foster any sense of victory for her mostly because she wouldn’t stop talking at me, using a lot of snarky, sarcastic comments to score more points. In order to shut her down, I also used a couple of other statements (that Ms Zung didn’t mention) but these worked well for me.
"SO READY!!!"
This is what I use and works my teens. Never thought about using it with adults.
Mine gets absolutely insenced if someone says Well, we'll have agree to disagree or I'm sorry you feel that way. It enrages him.
So ready hell yes shut her down
I’ve gone no contact finally & have peace
So ready…..