7 Things A Man STRUGGLES With Admitting To A Woman

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  • Опубліковано 2 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 707

  • @MeetStephanSpeaks
    @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +50

    ❤️ Join my SPECIAL coaching program here 👉 www.receivingmyblessings.com - so many women are experiencing AMAZING results!

    • @allanamsmith2177
      @allanamsmith2177 2 роки тому +1

      Men are neglectful as well.

    • @nataliasolakian3628
      @nataliasolakian3628 2 роки тому +6

      They do it during pregnancy especially when they choose to be adulterous.

    • @diaryofarichsidechic
      @diaryofarichsidechic 2 роки тому

    • @tboykin13tb
      @tboykin13tb 2 роки тому +1

      The problem that I am having with everything that U r saying is, it seems to me, & this is my opinion, is that men want everything from us women & they don't want to reciprocate for us. Now this is my opinion on my relationships not anyone elses. 😏

    • @sierramontgomery3720
      @sierramontgomery3720 2 роки тому

      You must know what I need at this moment... I swear you are the truth... and I need you , your advice and help... I swear I do.. but at this moment all I can say is THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

  • @ChristianaSenibo
    @ChristianaSenibo 2 роки тому +583

    Creating a safe space for a man to be vulnerable helps him trust that his feelings are safe with you when he opens up. This is huge for men

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +45

      You're absolutely right, it really helps when women embrace that ❤

    • @teea8328
      @teea8328 2 роки тому +40

      I totally agree, however, I had to recently break up with my man because he still is damaged from his ex wife and was bringing this baggage to new relationships. I did everything that I could, but he needs therapy and heal before he gets into a relationship. I love him dearly and wish him the best

    • @NathalieLazo
      @NathalieLazo 2 роки тому +3

      Exactly! I agree 💯

    • @user-mb9jx5tx9y
      @user-mb9jx5tx9y 2 роки тому +12

      So how do you do that when they’re the one giving you the silent treatment ????

    • @teea8328
      @teea8328 2 роки тому +30

      @@user-mb9jx5tx9y their immature and you shouldn’t tolerate it. You deserve a man who can communicate with you

  • @lamaja19
    @lamaja19 2 роки тому +269

    You are so correct about the financial part. Dated a guy who lost his job & became complacent. No matter how I tried to talk to him about it, he'd deflect. Turned out to be stingy. I never threw it in his face to avoid to immaculate him. I got tired of waiting because he wanted to live off me with his meager means. Found out from his family that he was super cheap. I have no respect for a man when there's no reciprocity. I don't want a roommate, I want a husband where I can be feminine & not forced to be masculine.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +18

      Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️

    • @Umioko
      @Umioko 2 роки тому +10

      I’m glad you shared! I’m going through something similar. He became complacent after losing his job and didn’t work for months because of little effort to get a new job. He wasn’t stingy, but as time went on he started taking advantage of me financially. I definitely became the more masculine one there, and him feminine. Still learning to move on.

    • @CradleEpiscopalian56
      @CradleEpiscopalian56 2 роки тому +2

      Frightening comment.

    • @ILoveMyFro
      @ILoveMyFro 2 роки тому

      Men like this are very manipulative and calculating. They purposely look for unsuspecting women to take care of them.
      Ladies, don't internalize their behavior but set firm boundaries with yourself so these types of men are automatically weeded from your life. ie: giving men money, moving men in, paying for dates, etc.

    • @loref4552
      @loref4552 2 роки тому +8

      @Koqui Onefourteen that's tough! I was the soul breadwinner in my marriage also. He did a lot of things well but he couldn't keep it up along with his personal life, we had 2 kids at the time. He'd stay out late, then sleep in late so I often had to help our kids in the mornings while working (I had a finance job that allowed me to work from home). I felt I had to kick him out over 2 years ago bc we drifted apart due to the arguing over his late nights and cheating. He was definitely manipulating me, he'd say he loved me but actions didn't match, I felt like I was living with a stranger towards the last couple of years with him

  • @mykalbloomingdale
    @mykalbloomingdale 2 роки тому +106

    I think an important point/perspective to add with regards to sexual neglect is that if someone wants more sex than they are getting (man or woman) they should be mindful of the effort they are putting in as well. I was in a long-term relationship with a man who expected sex every single day but put little to no effort into "putting me in the mood" or making me desire that level of intimacy. It made sex feel like a chore and took the pleasure out of it for me. Additionally, I think it's important for people to be equally as...satisfied by the encounter. I've been with guys who always make sure I too am "good" so to speak and I have been with guys who only focus on their fulfillment, and from a females perspective, I'm going to be a lot more willing to fulfill a man's desires if I feel he is equally as invested in fulfilling mine.

  • @wandalaielli3572
    @wandalaielli3572 2 роки тому +88

    Praying through my faults and moodiness as I know it sets the tone for the day and evening . Making our home a peaceful sanctuary is a daily prayer of action that I have to bring to the forefront as a woman. It makes things so easily reciprocated to be loving, caring and responsive in all aspects.
    I Keep God's Word close, even when I don't feel this after work or spending time with the kids and just drained emotionally..The Joy of the LORD is my Strength.

  • @renewyourmind1815
    @renewyourmind1815 2 роки тому +84

    This is why I'm single, because I was with a narc that made everything about himself. By the end of the marriage all I could think about was "WHAT ABOUT ME? DONT I MATTER AT ALL?" He was so about himself that I was hyper aware of my feelings because I needed to feel like an individual. If he cared about himself & I cared about him too, who the hell cared about me?? Who had my back? He never validated me at all. My goals were stupid, etc. He refused to build me up & time & time again I'd build him up, but he never had my back. Eventually I lost all respect for him & let the marriage fail- I can't hold it up on my own.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +8

      I'm sorry to hear about that, I pray that you heal from all that you have been through, and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️

    • @Goldenheart2911
      @Goldenheart2911 2 роки тому +8

      YOU DEFINITELY MATTER! I can fully identify with what you experienced surviving a Narc abuser and marriage. Take time to heal, process and feel everything you went through. In time with self love and self trust you can and will begin to love and trust others again. What is so important once we are ready to move forward is that we don't let new partners pay for the sins of our abusers. We need to give them a chance. In healing ourselves we can enter into new relationships with a clean slate. With boundaries and communicating our needs we will know what relationships work for us and which ones do not. Always listen to your gut. When we honor the signs our body is sending to us we will be in a much better space to move forward into healthier relationships. The narcs can't heal but we can. Good luck and never give up hope. You deserve to be loved, happy and celebrated for the amazing person you are. 🙏🕊️💛

    • @teresadavis9557
      @teresadavis9557 2 роки тому +4

      He sounds like a narcissist

    • @scc8728
      @scc8728 2 роки тому +6

      I got lost in a marriage like that. The end was hard because I realised I didn't even know who I was. I'm so glad to be free of him now. I will never repeat that mistake by ensuring I maintain my identity and goals.

    • @Goldenheart2911
      @Goldenheart2911 2 роки тому +3

      @@scc8728 Amen🙏 I fully understand. Finding myself again was truly the biggest blessing of being set free from such a toxic marriage. Praying you find the happiness you deserve in the future. Never settle for anything less.💛

  • @sharhughes1086
    @sharhughes1086 2 роки тому +75

    Some men struggle with low self-esteem and other issues you will know nothing about, until they try to control you for fear of you leaving them or rejection!

    • @heather4089
      @heather4089 2 роки тому +9

      Well, I did on my case. I just kicked him to the curve few days back. Dating him for 5 years and I got fed up of not even a happy birthday. Words weight more than material things, message he gave me for 5 years was , I’m not interested. So I’m moving on.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +5

      It isn't an easy situation but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏

    • @2888HA0264
      @2888HA0264 2 роки тому +1

      I am a therapist. And you hit that bullet point on the nail!!👏👏🎯

    • @tinamarie8061
      @tinamarie8061 2 роки тому +9

      Absolutely!! And no one discusses how a man can be broken by his controlling, emotionally unstable mother. His reluctance to discuss his feelings can stem from her reactions to his emotions throughout his life. He projects it on to her.

    • @leodelicious865
      @leodelicious865 2 роки тому +2

      Because they know when a man is doing better than them n you deserve better.

  • @cindyvazquez4333
    @cindyvazquez4333 3 місяці тому +3

    This is one of the things that I loved about being married..after dinner every night we would either grab a cup of coffee or a glass of wine and we would talk about our day and allow each other to de-compress about what either of us went through. And before we went to bed we read the bible and prayed and it set up the right mood for the bedroom. ❤❤🙏🙏

  • @vuyisekaluphuzi8249
    @vuyisekaluphuzi8249 2 роки тому +28

    It drove me over the edge. We broke up and I'm not heartbroken nor sad about it. It was torture

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +7

      I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏

  • @no1zzle3
    @no1zzle3 2 роки тому +49

    I was that woman who supported and tried to help my ex who had ED. I thought for almost a year it was me. He never tried to help me understand what he was feeling. I never put him down or threw it in his face but none of that mattered. In the end, he chose to walk away rather than work on it. It hurt so much but now I see he did me a favor because I would’ve been there still trying. I didn’t know I should’ve walked away.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +1

      Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️

    • @no1zzle3
      @no1zzle3 2 роки тому

      @@MeetStephanSpeaks I hope so as well

    • @Didi-fr5ic
      @Didi-fr5ic 2 роки тому +2

      You did good 👍

    • @melissabrzescinski494
      @melissabrzescinski494 2 роки тому +9

      ED happened to my boyfriend after seeing each other for 3 months. Thankfully we talked about it and he let me know it wasn’t a lack of desire and I let him know that he’s only human. We’re in our 50s and it’s perfectly normal so I let him know I didn’t think any less of him as a man. What a wonderful thing it is when we’re able to communicate and open up. He takes the pills now and have no problems sexually. I hope you two can find a way to open up to each other. It brought us closer.

    • @no1zzle3
      @no1zzle3 2 роки тому +4

      @@melissabrzescinski494 that’s wonderful news I’m happy for you both. He left 2 yrs ago. I agree, communication is so important. He didn’t know how and I’m sure wasn’t willing to discuss it with me since he was only 36. He’s the type that sweeps things under the rug.

  • @HalfSweetness
    @HalfSweetness 6 місяців тому +2

    I most definitely support the idea of allowing him to express what is bothering him because it will cause him to shut down if he feels he can't genuinely be honest with you. He needs to have that outlet, and he really would love to do that with his partner, and I agree. 💯👍🏼💙

  • @nataliasolakian3628
    @nataliasolakian3628 2 роки тому +25

    This causes so many problems and breakdowns of a healthy relationship. They are emotionally unavailable. I did everything to try to make it work but his communication made it close to impossible. I know God has a perfect plan for me.

  • @JamaicaLove876
    @JamaicaLove876 2 роки тому +77

    Yes, agree with all of your key points, especially neglect. Neglect is like forgetting to water your plant and nurture the soil. That is usually the sign a relationship cannot thrive or flourish as no one is pouring into the cup. Love must always pour into each others cups so it overflows. Making your partner a priority and letting them know that they are #1 in your life speak volumes. Love is safety and security for both men & women. The bottom line is men have to be willing to open up & become vulnerable, speaking their feelings, and owning their truth. The better a man can communicate the easier it is for a woman to meet his needs. If that woman loves her man she will easily go above and beyond to address his concerns. Love has to be mutual & reciprocal. Yes those issues men have need to be addressed as they will otherwise limit him in having successful relationships. Excellent video, can relate to a lot of what you're saying. Blessings, light, and abundance to you.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +2

      Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️

    • @JamaicaLove876
      @JamaicaLove876 2 роки тому +1

      @@MeetStephanSpeaks Always my pleasure, great topic too. Keep doing an awesome job. ❤ 🏆

    • @sakuraesther6309
      @sakuraesther6309 2 роки тому +1

      Ok Mami showcase your wisdom.
      Love it

  • @tomekawilliams3865
    @tomekawilliams3865 2 роки тому +35

    Really appreciate your messages. I have just recently re-entered the dating world after healing from a past toxic relationship and your videos have helped me tremendously navigate this tricky world! Thank you soooo much! It is much appreciated!!!

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +4

      I'm happy this has been helpful to you, don't forget to share so that others can receive love and healing ❤ 🙏

  • @Thegazelle1000
    @Thegazelle1000 2 роки тому +33

    I prefer a man who is able to communicate and we women have to listen too. Communication is the key for a successful relationship. I think jealousy is ok, the problem is when it becomes paranoid and lack of trust.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +1

      Communication is definitely key, thank you for sharing 🙏

    • @jayc5756
      @jayc5756 2 роки тому +1

      I agree with everything you said here.

  • @goddessoflight74
    @goddessoflight74 2 роки тому +97

    These messages are on point. It seems that men can be very sensitive, hard exterior but all mush on the inside. We as women should create an environment that is safe to allow them to show vulnerability. Men tend to feel more, and women sense. The Five Love Languages is true and also a great book. Sending love, good vibes, and positive energy your way.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +3

      ❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching, I appreciate your feedback!

  • @peachwater4827
    @peachwater4827 2 роки тому +45

    I think men need to grow up. Women feel neglected all throughout relationships/marriage s. I was married for 25 years and now I am divorced. I am just realizing how neglected I was in the marry.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +3

      I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏

    • @peachwater4827
      @peachwater4827 2 роки тому

      @@MeetStephanSpeaks Thank you.

    • @cookiegirl891
      @cookiegirl891 2 роки тому +2

      Did you try talking to him about it ?

    • @AgodisFemi-9
      @AgodisFemi-9 2 роки тому +1

      Me too Sis!

    • @AgodisFemi-9
      @AgodisFemi-9 2 роки тому +1

      @@cookiegirl891 yes for me, tried a million times in a millions ways...

  • @lubnan08
    @lubnan08 2 роки тому +25

    Agree with all. And who doesn't think attraction is a big deal. It's hard to hear but if that means we need to lose weight or start dressing better or fix something, we need to do something. We wouldn't want someone we weren't attracted to so, why would someone not understand this. I just turned down a nice guy who I wasn't attracted to, it was not fair to both of us.

  • @thebonitalife294
    @thebonitalife294 2 роки тому +22

    The two guys I came across with ED both tried to blame it on me instead of taking responsibility into their own hands. Even though they blamed it on me, they still wanted to continue seeing me. A LOT of men do this thing where they like to blame women for their shortcomings instead of taking responsibility and addressing their issues as you mention in your video.... they should be seeking help. All the other normal partners I've had never had an issue or complained. For any women dealing with men with ED, 1) IT IS NOT YOU, it's them 100%. 2) If in the position to, encourage them to seek help.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +1

      Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️

    • @CradleEpiscopalian56
      @CradleEpiscopalian56 2 роки тому +2

      My husband used his attraction and eventually affairs with coworkers on his "ED" and even got a Rx from his doctor that he took to have sex with those woman.

    • @thebonitalife294
      @thebonitalife294 2 роки тому +3

      @@CradleEpiscopalian56 I'm sorry to hear this. That's horrible. Hope you find a man who treats you right. Hang in there

  • @MiRi-qg5rs
    @MiRi-qg5rs 2 роки тому +19

    Man you deserve way more followers.
    Your videos are just excellent!

  • @Lay_Lay208
    @Lay_Lay208 2 роки тому +30

    Another great video! Yes i’ve been there before. He would open up then shutdown. He clearly felt emotionally safe with me then he would just shut me out again. I did that dance for 4 years. It was too taxing on me emotionally I had to let him and that situation go. But it’s great to get an understanding from the males perspective. I am guilty of neglecting him in some ways.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +3

      I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏

    • @user-mb9jx5tx9y
      @user-mb9jx5tx9y 2 роки тому +6

      It’s been two months of me seeing this guy and so far he’s given me the silent treatment probably 2 or 3 times and decided to pop back in again. I can’t do it anymore bc he can’t communicate what I said/did wrong.

  • @teruka00921
    @teruka00921 2 роки тому +18

    This video is very timely and I'm thankful that you are letting us in on what men may be thinking and feeling. It helps me navigate dating a lot better in areas that had been blind spots as a single mom. However, there is just so much we as women can do to help a man feel secure and safe in a relationship. Many of these men NEED to do some real work before they're dating. The casualties of their insecurities are just too much. This, from personal experience, but also as a MH professional.

  • @NathalieLazo
    @NathalieLazo 2 роки тому +108

    We as ladies, need to give men space and time for them to be ready to express their feelings and admitting to us. Let us not shove things down their throats when we want them to open up. That doesn’t make them any less valuable or not a good man if they are not ready; we as ladies need to create a safe place for them to express to open up to us and that’s when they become ready. Still need work to do work in this area myself with my great warrior ❤️❤️

    • @heather4089
      @heather4089 2 роки тому +10

      Or move on.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +2

      Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️

    • @NathalieLazo
      @NathalieLazo 2 роки тому +1

      @@MeetStephanSpeaks You’re welcome! Thank you for your content :)

    • @user-mb9jx5tx9y
      @user-mb9jx5tx9y 2 роки тому +6

      So how do you explain men who give women the silent treatment and don’t tell you why ????

    • @user-mb9jx5tx9y
      @user-mb9jx5tx9y 2 роки тому +2

      @@heather4089 exactly !!!🙄🙄🙄😒😒😒

  • @KayahlaThema
    @KayahlaThema 2 роки тому +41

    Very honest video like always. With the attraction point in some situations I find it a bit unfair. For instance the man insists on having a family but then when the women is pregnant they lose attraction and use the pregnancy changes as an excuse for leaving or stepping out of the relationship. Quite a difficult subject but I’ve always wondered how these men feel such is justified. We all know a woman’s body changes drastically during this time.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +6

      I feel you, it definitely isn't an easy situation and I pray men are able to do what is truly best 🙏

    • @jayc5756
      @jayc5756 2 роки тому +3

      No, thats definitely what it is with most...at least the good men. If their physical attraction has wained a little because of the weight or body changes...if he really truly loves you, he wouldnt just up and leave abruptly like that ma.

    • @TomikaKelly
      @TomikaKelly Рік тому

      If a man loses attraction for you because he impregnated you then you're with the wrong man.

  • @kourtney101
    @kourtney101 2 роки тому +11

    A man can be gentle and direct. That's the balance that His Father (A God-fearing man) ascribes to. The marriage isn't just about the body, but it concerns the body as keeping the other engaged and attracted. The person who's agreeable with the lifestyle you want to share makes open, mature communication a non-negotiable dynamic in the relationship . 💯

  • @elenarotestan5823
    @elenarotestan5823 2 роки тому +23

    Great points as usual, thank you.
    Jealousy does not equate to real feelings! Wow, that is nuts. I feel that in some situations the men feel neglected of attention/sex, but some men do not help with chores, kids etc, and the women doing too much, while the man whining about feelings of neglect/lack of sex. Men should start helping around, take a load of your partner, and a woman listen to your man. A partnership isn't meant for one person.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому

      Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.

    • @maxiq88
      @maxiq88 2 роки тому

      My exhusband told me that "I love our children more than him". He was verbaly and physically abusive. He has since admitted that he was jealous.
      I'm now divorced and healing💯💞

    • @thriftinluxury451
      @thriftinluxury451 2 роки тому

      I experienced this too my man felt neglected but put all the chores, children and I was financially able not him he couldn’t keep a job no longer than a few months, he was broke and selfish After 9yrs I let it go!

  • @thisismystone9658
    @thisismystone9658 2 роки тому +14

    Jealousy does not equal real feelings.
    Noted!

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому

      Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️

  • @ThePlace420
    @ThePlace420 Рік тому +4

    I’m so glad you mentioned Porn Addiction. I knew my ex-husband enjoyed porn prior to engagement, but 14 years later, we divorced…lots of communication issues, but the biggest was SEX. It seemed when I wanted to, he was ‘spent’, usually only an hour before my initiating had he done ‘the deed’, and the more that happened, I got tired of the rejection, felt undesired, and eventually ended up seeking that attention elsewhere. I DID tell him many, many times that something was wrong, that I felt we needed therapy, which he dismissed. Call me a coward for not just leaving, but I just kept trying until one day I broke…it was brief and non-physical…no pic sharing, but it was enough to end us.
    Porn addiction will KILL what could be a lifelong love.
    Pretty sure he would never tell his new lady, and she probably feels ‘bad’ for him that he has ED issues (because we have children, still talk, and I know he has not addressed). She probably bends over backward in bed with him to make it work, but the reason is treason in and of itself.
    Sad.

  • @annieb749
    @annieb749 3 місяці тому +1

    Love your stuff as always!
    As to the money thing...gosh there is a lot of baggage around that on both sides. And bad actors on both sides as well. So forgetting the bad actors for a moment... And sorry this is REALLY long.
    Here's where I think most women stand on money (at least ones with a bit of life experience...and by that I don't necessarily mean old, just real).
    Money is a means to an end. It pays the bills, buys the food, allows you to enjoy each other in ways you couldn't without it. It will not make up for lack of love or care. However...money also shows how much you value something/ someone. You're more likely to treat a home or car you bought with hard-earned money with care, than you are one that was give to you for free (wouldn't we all like to be so lucky!). Same goes with a woman...when a man invests in her (that could be time too but money is not exempt), it reinforces TO HIM that he values her.
    I'll give an example. I married my husband (who I now realize probably has covert narc tendencies) knowing he had chosen to be a teacher (so not ambitious or rich...but would feed us), had MS, was in debt because of bad decisions re credit cards in college. My mom felt sorry for him and offered us an old ring setting she had from which the diamond had been removed. We shopped and even crummy diamonds cost "too much"; we actually found one worth >$2k (in mid-1990's) at a pawn shop in another setting for $250. A steal. We put it on layaway... my husband actually missed a payment at one point and acted like there was no fixing the issue... wish he'd just been honest with me at that point that he was having cold feet and we could have called it off (he claimed it was lost in the mail but knowing what I now know about him I highly suspect he didn't ever send the payment...I was too naive to think that then). But, like his mother had done his whole life and my mother had done with the ring setting, I rescued him and called the pawn shop and took care of talking to the guy and assuring him he'd get his money...which he did and we got our ring a few months later.
    Fast forward to our honeymoon....it was at a state park in Arkansas, not fancy. $300 for the whole weekend. He borrowed money for it, even though he lived at home, paid no rent, and made that much in a normal week. Oh...and he didn't just borrow $300 oh no...he borrowed $2500. And didn't tell me about it until the bill came due 6 months into our marriage. I asked what the other $2200 was for..."just in case" he says. Even after the credit card fiasco, he did not learn about debt.
    Fast forward to about 10 years into our marriage. We each got a certain amount of spending money cash each pay period. At one point he said he wanted to be chef of the day at a famous local restaurant, which cost $1000. Without his knowing, I saved up my spending money for over 1.5 years to surprise him with this gift. Shortly thereafter he bought me a tanzanite stone to put in the ring setting left over from the pawn shop - $250. It too was a surprise, but the real surprise was when the bill came and he didn't have the money for it.
    In the past few years, I've caught him ferreting the birthday money his parents send to our kids into a private account that we were supposed to know nothing about. This came to our attention because the boys and I tried to do something nice for him and ending up catching him in the process...
    Let's just be honest. I'm no gold digger. I didn't stay away because of his lack of ambition and money. But after this experience, I can sure tell you that I would not date another man with those qualities, unless he proved he was a master money manager and very wise and prudent in his handling of it...not to mention honest and open. I have told my sons that they WILL need to scrap and save for a ring (even though my mom has promised each of them a diamond...I will flush them before I let her do that to my sons)...they need to invest in the woman they want to spend their lives with. OTOH, I've told them to dump any girl requesting some ring that's unreasonably expensive based on their earning power. But I will NOT make it easy for them to depend on me and not provide for their wives and families. I have seen firsthand the damage that does.
    So...long @$$ response, I'm sorry...but guys there are nuances. Most women aren't going to dump you for a turn of bad luck or a simple mistake THAT YOU LEARN FROM (and if she does, she's not worth it anyhow). But a man who's selfish, can't manage his money, and manages it for himself instead of his family...that's never going to work. I could go into much more detail but this is enough. Just know. It's not about your money...it's about what you do with it. For most of us anyhow.

  • @anonymous6594
    @anonymous6594 2 роки тому +11

    How about a video on why so many modern men are so emotional versus being logical? Lots of angry/emotional men out here.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому

      Thanks for the suggestion, I’ll add it to my list of requested videos! In the meantime, you might like this video 👉 ua-cam.com/video/rhiSK-T2N2Q/v-deo.html

  • @GodIsWithUs4LIFE
    @GodIsWithUs4LIFE 2 роки тому +16

    I can't get enough of your videos!!! Thank you for sharing it!!!

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +1

      My pleasure ❤️

    • @rhondabarnette7111
      @rhondabarnette7111 2 роки тому

      @@MeetStephanSpeaks I agree! FYI- I'm pretty sure I saw you at the Airport in Texas on Sunday. Eitherway thank you so much for sharing the truth about Healthy Relationships.

  • @treazie
    @treazie 2 роки тому +21

    Stephan to be honest I just walk away. I can’t force a man to communicate or change. I have shown him who I am and pour and encouraged him but If can’t be vulnerable with me for fear of feeling weak, if he isn’t honest with himself enough to be honest with me then it’s his issue not mine.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +1

      Communication is definitely key, thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️

  • @mac_archct5717
    @mac_archct5717 2 роки тому +8

    I am listening around the 12 minute mark. A yes I do feel jealous as a man in a committed relationship. My partner has admitted that a past romantic is their soulmate. At first, I tried to play cool but I have been challenged with this friendship over time. They have admitted this person get them and they can stop talking for years and just pick up like nothing happened. I have expressed that I feel as though I am walking in this persons shadow especially now our relationship is challenged. I am struggling to communicate because of constant negativity.

    • @themothers
      @themothers Рік тому +3

      Red flag and you should feel jealous. This is not ok and not fair to you. I would reconsider. I have an ex thst said this and he vanished one day

    • @TomikaKelly
      @TomikaKelly Рік тому +1

      🚩🚩🚩 The fact that they had so little respect and regard for you that they were willing to tell you this to your face with their whole chest is an issue in itself. Go let that woman be with her BFF.

  • @ericajanellelifecoaching
    @ericajanellelifecoaching 2 роки тому +18

    Such an amazing message! Congrats on reaching 1 million subscribers! You definitely deserve this and much more! You have taught me so much over these last few years and as a coach you inspire me so much! Thanks for your obedience to operate freely in your gift! 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

  • @realiteawithree7645
    @realiteawithree7645 2 роки тому +13

    EVERYTHING you shared on this video is as good as gold! We as women needed to hear this message right here! 👏👏👏

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +1

      I'm happy this has been helpful to you, don't forget to share so that others can receive love and healing ❤ 🙏

    • @flippingholder
      @flippingholder Рік тому

      Yes!

  • @b.leeconner8682
    @b.leeconner8682 2 роки тому +4

    I like your advice, to us women.
    You're real as a man can get.
    I'm 60 years of age and still learning, about men folk.

  • @strongpowerthankyou1498
    @strongpowerthankyou1498 2 роки тому +8

    Love when I get a notifications about new videos!

  • @PerrySkyePhoenix
    @PerrySkyePhoenix 2 роки тому +1

    I'm there right now....dealing with an emotionally unavailable man with communication issues. He may be mirroring me, actually.

  • @bongiwemdaka533
    @bongiwemdaka533 2 роки тому +2

    Gold . Thank you brother!

  • @BAM4_
    @BAM4_ 2 роки тому +11

    When some men doesn't open up and talk to there partner that is not healthy. That is neglect. The relationship will not last. There must be communication in all relationship.

  • @Portia620
    @Portia620 4 місяці тому

    Great points on if he wants us to do upkeep. Yep.

  • @ratridarmadi
    @ratridarmadi 2 роки тому +1

    I had watched your videos and compare to other men speakers, you are the most straightforward, honest and understandable. On point!

    • @jordynhenninghenning2901
      @jordynhenninghenning2901 2 роки тому

      Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed
      back again my ex is back to me we live happily
      together now, I got help from #dralieaotor

  • @ElegantRose2720
    @ElegantRose2720 3 місяці тому

    Thank you so much for your transparency! I believe God wants us as women to cherish our men with compassion & understanding. When the understanding isn’t there, we need to pray together about it & God will do what we can’t do to bring clarity & strengthen our relationship with Him & each other!!!

  • @renee167
    @renee167 2 роки тому +15

    Thanks Stephan for sharing your insight on this topic. I have definitely been in some relationships, where the man was not willing to be completely honest with me, and I’ll admit that sometimes I struggle with completely sharing myself with others as well. However, I’m definitely learning how to just be myself and continue to be considerate of other people’s feelings in hopes of one day meeting that special someone who will be willing to be open and honest with me, and I’ll be willing to do the same!!

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +4

      I pray that you receive the person who is truly best for you, the person God has for you 🙏

  • @thenickmeister619
    @thenickmeister619 2 роки тому +7

    Sucks when you express feelings and are belittled as being mean or unfair or insecure/jealous when you’ve explained why some traumas and hurts have instilled that on you.
    Sucks when your healing but viewed as broken….

  • @TheyNeedJesus1
    @TheyNeedJesus1 2 роки тому +21

    Do men believe they will be successful in a relationship if not able to share what they think? Now I realize we ladies have to prioritize things by creating a soft, safe and secure environment for him to open up. This is a huge issue to deal with and I pray as a woman I become even more attentive if that will make things come to fruition

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому

      Glad I could help 🙏

    • @user-mb9jx5tx9y
      @user-mb9jx5tx9y 2 роки тому +5

      So how do you create that soft safe environment? If a person sucks at communicating, what could possibly change

    • @fortheladies771
      @fortheladies771 2 роки тому +1

      Do not date an emotionally unavailable men. These are men, not children. There are good, God-fearing men out there that will not put you through this

  • @valerielinares2068
    @valerielinares2068 2 роки тому +4

    I just want to say, I've already watched a handful of your videos, and I appreciate the videos you're making. For one thing, a lot of the relationship/dating coach channels are more focused on manipulating the person. Whereas you simply inform women of what most men can be feeling or thinking from a man's point of view. I also super appreciate that you acknowledge that not all men are exactly the same or think exactly the same way.
    Another reason I appreciated your videos is because there is a man in my life who I do have feelings for, but things are complicated between us. He's my best friend of 18 years. The issue is, early in our friendship, he made it clear that he was interested in me. But, at the time, I wasn't interested in him. I had my own issues at the time, and like you said in another video I saw of yours, the level of connection I shared with him scared me because of my own issues and trauma in the past. But, without giving too much detail, after watching some of your videos, I think I know what to do here. Thank you for your insightful videos.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому

      Thank you for watching, I'm happy the videos have been helpful to you 🙏

  • @foodforthought2374
    @foodforthought2374 2 роки тому +8

    My experience has taught me to hold my response and stand quietly, first feeling compassion -We really never know how we would react in a certain situation until we are in it. So I do my best to place myself in the gravity of that persons place, in that moment.
    That will change our perspective sometimes drastically.
    Once I have time to process and figure out what to do with the feelings that arise I may respond during a neutral time in all honesty- but holding my composure.
    You see, “Love is not a FEELING. It’s a decision.” How can I best Love this person and grow in my own well being, at the same time?
    Sometimes I will simply say- “Thank you for knowing that you could tell me. I’m not sure what to do with this right now. I need some time”.
    That is as kind and honest as I can be in that moment. I do my best to never use anything entrusted to me in anger; I do my best to be reasonable while accurately portraying my honest response in a respectful manner. We choose our words. They can be a healing Balm of Gilead-or they can be daggers.
    Every time I get ready to react… I ask myself does this serve me well?
    We have little control over ANYTHING in life.
    We can however control how we respond.

  • @hadassahwadebynoe
    @hadassahwadebynoe 2 роки тому +4

    Yup preach on bro most men are like that , but they have a hard time saying it to the woman in their lives

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +1

      It definitely isn't an easy situation but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏

  • @sharonspence424
    @sharonspence424 Рік тому

    YOUR EXACTLY RIGHT AND SOME PEOPLE JUST CANT ADMIT TO IT AS YOU SAID

  • @lisaphillips5135
    @lisaphillips5135 2 роки тому +8

    If any man have to struggle, God strengthen him

  • @lls4341
    @lls4341 2 роки тому +20

    Thank you for the insight Stephan. The same sex friend situation is real...my best friend almost didn't get married because of a situation like that on her husband's part. Honesty and boundaries are absolutely necessary with same sex friends and significant others.

  • @debradorsey153
    @debradorsey153 2 роки тому +4

    Apathy can appear in many forms, but the underlying thing is that same - lack of interest the relationship, apathy shows up when we take are mates for granted , when stop showing appreciation and consideration for them , It's not a weakness if your mate has financial trouble it can be worked out if you work together .

  • @annmariehernandez8068
    @annmariehernandez8068 2 роки тому +4

    Attraction goes both ways

  • @jmarie9126
    @jmarie9126 2 роки тому +6

    So true. I delt with jealousy regarding the children, family or friends. I've delt with someone I thought we were very close that wouldn't open up because I guess " That was the man thing to do". I couldn't even know if he was having a bad day. I would tell him information is intimacy. can't care for your needs if I don't know the need.

  • @dionesk4077
    @dionesk4077 2 роки тому +14

    👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 This video is very helpful...I definitely wouldn't have ever thought about some of the things u mentioned in this video. Going forward, I will keep these things in mind for when I start dating. Great delivery and very helpful topic 🤜🏽🤛🏻💙💙💙💙

  • @turner2952
    @turner2952 2 роки тому +4

    Amen! Women need to provide men with the safety they need to approach the woman with all their issues. That means listening without interrupting, listening without judging or being critical.
    Awesome vid. God bless you, Stephan, and thank you so much for all your hard work!

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому

      ❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching and may God bless you as well 🙏

  • @CHOSENWOMAN777
    @CHOSENWOMAN777 2 роки тому +2

    Man. Why is this so good. I have to rewatch.

  • @allat1ince291
    @allat1ince291 2 роки тому +5

    This right here was absolutely spot on and I so appreciate and am grateful you shared this!! It made so much sense! It’s an aha moment! Thank you 🙏🏽

  • @abigalestoll
    @abigalestoll 2 роки тому +7

    If my future husband is jealous of a male friend that I have then I will ease the friendship and introduce him to my male friend so that my future partner will feel secured in the relationship. I also understand everything else you talked about in this video and I agree 💯❤️.

    • @godsgirl7201
      @godsgirl7201 2 роки тому +3

      That's not a good idea sometimes people start to internalize things pick themselves apart secretly ask why don't I have what he has... That's how I would feel... I feel like when you're married your best friend should be your husband you shouldn't have that much energy and room for another man were they have to meet your husband I think if the husband is jealous has insecurities then it's good to show him you and the person are just friends... But if you yourself are not able to have at least one female friend you should look at yourself I'm not judging you I'm the same way after maturing I've learned there's things missing inside yourself when you can't be friends with the same sex maybe you're looking in the wrong places for female friends

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!

    • @abigalestoll
      @abigalestoll 2 роки тому

      @@godsgirl7201 There's nothing wrong with having male or female friends as long as you have boundaries. My ex husband had female friends and I was never jealous. I'm a very serious woman. I don't encourage nonsense.

    • @abigalestoll
      @abigalestoll 2 роки тому

      @@godsgirl7201 When you're confident in yourself you wouldn't feel insecure. Would you leave your husband because he has female friends if he doesn't give you any reason to doubt him?

  • @lindacahoon829
    @lindacahoon829 2 роки тому

    The man I've been seeing this year has been going through a lot and is having financial issues so he wanted to take a break from seeing each other. I understand. We texted last night. I wanted dto find out if he still wants a relationship with me, and he said yes, he still loves me but wants to take care of things first before we get back into a relationship. I told him, I'm giving him the time to figure things out. I'm giving him the space. I wasn't sure of it was an excuse to not be in a relationship or what, but he reassured me he still wants me.

  • @RhondaR4
    @RhondaR4 2 роки тому +2

    We have to communicate/compromise to reap the benefits in our marriage! We are one not two!💯🔥❤️🌟👑❤️🌟👑

  • @apriltenten9418
    @apriltenten9418 2 роки тому +12

    My husband has Ed and we do not have sex often. I can be honest I'm upset because I am only 36 and he's 46 . I believe I have a high sex drive and he doesn't . I am the partner being lack of sex in this relationship make me feel like he doesn't desire me. We've been together for 11 years but only married for three and I still want to be intimate with him on a regular but he's not so enthused because of the ED. I see a lot of videos that talk about men are not getting sex as often as they needed. I guess I must be the only woman that needs it just as much as a man needs it.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +1

      Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback and I hope he reaches the point of truly doing what is best 🙏

    • @CradleEpiscopalian56
      @CradleEpiscopalian56 2 роки тому

      Men have a strong reaction to competition. Take a sex toy to bed and use it in front of him. See if he is aroused by watching and join in on the action.

    • @Joy-mm3cz
      @Joy-mm3cz 2 роки тому +4

      There are medications out there to help with ED. They have ones that he can take everyday and not have to pre plan for when he thinks sex would be on the table for that day. There’s no shame like in the past when men/ women didn’t know how prevalent it was.

  • @annekajordan6952
    @annekajordan6952 2 роки тому +7

    Agree. A man should feel that it’s a safe space for him to open up to his woman, especially in the area of struggles such as depression. This is part of the reason why she is here in the relationship with him, to help be his strength & to support him through those difficult moments with understanding. If she can’t do that then clearly she is the wrong woman for him.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +1

      Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.

    • @TomikaKelly
      @TomikaKelly Рік тому +1

      In this case, this man needs a therapist not a girlfriend.

  • @kingqueenleonardadventures5034
    @kingqueenleonardadventures5034 2 роки тому +2

    I have to say that this was a reverse for me in my last marriage. It was me who was holding back on sex and making him feel unloved or wanted it was HIM. I use to say to ppl that I was the MAN in the relationship and he was the WOMAN. It turned out that he REALLY DIDNT WANT ME. He just liked the idea of having a family that he was "Taking care of and raising other ppls kids" I think we was a "Trophy Family" for him.

  • @staresharobinson9119
    @staresharobinson9119 Рік тому +1

    I had a friend guy like that. He didn’t want a relationship had a huge wall up. I was cool with that. It’s crazy because we could talk about anything. He would always say he loves me still do but he would give me mixed signals. Always gave public affection, was a busy man but made time. Then we would start kicking it hard and he would pull back. It was like he wanted me to chase him or was unsure of his feelings. Mixed feelings is confusing and annoying. It felt like he was being narcissistic and playing games. I didn’t want to believe that because are chemistry and vibe was so great. I told him I was gone move around. He still would hit me up once in a while but I didn’t take the bait. I told him I was in a relationship wanted to see if he was jealous and he was. I don’t understand how he can be so successful in his teachings but act so weird with me. And I did the things you mentioned I was as cool and as feminine to be. Oh well I believe he deleted me 😅

  • @Betinhaac
    @Betinhaac 2 роки тому +2

    So much love for Stephan! Such an honest man and full of awareness! Thanks for you help!

  • @susananavarrete2801
    @susananavarrete2801 2 роки тому +34

    The part about losing attraction really hit hard, I know you’re telling the truth… deep down I know that’s what happened… have you made a video about re-attracting a former partner?

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +7

      I haven't done a video on that topic, I’ll add it to my list of requested videos! In the meantime, you might like this video 👉 ua-cam.com/video/9qlurtd9W30/v-deo.html

    • @susananavarrete2801
      @susananavarrete2801 2 роки тому +1

      @@MeetStephanSpeaks Thank you Stephan! Can’t wait to hear your take on this topic. Much love from California 💗

    • @CradleEpiscopalian56
      @CradleEpiscopalian56 2 роки тому +2

      It's about weight gain, lack of attention to keep yourself up. Men want a woman to never change from the woman they first met.

    • @susananavarrete2801
      @susananavarrete2801 2 роки тому +6

      @@CradleEpiscopalian56 that’s a good point, but at the same time, body types are different and I think it would be unreasonable to expect someone to stay the same from when they were 19 to now when they’re thirty. Yes it was a looong term relationship. And I wouldn’t expect him to stay the same from when I met him in high school either. We both changed in our physique

    • @TomikaKelly
      @TomikaKelly Рік тому

      ​@@CradleEpiscopalian56 The only place where change doesn't occur is the cemetery. If your woman is alive and this is your mindset, you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of failure and disappointment.

  • @foodforthought2374
    @foodforthought2374 2 роки тому +7

    Another great video. I always learn so much watching your insightful balance on relationship issues.
    The best thing I can do for any of my relationships is work on “me”.

  • @nicoletuck9283
    @nicoletuck9283 Рік тому +5

    As for jealousy...I have shared with my man how other men would pursue me. We would laugh about it and move on. Now thinking back, maybe I was the only one laughing and although he has never showed me that he was jealous, maybe he didn't like what I shared. Background: majority of my best friends are guys. I'm a tomboy and really enjoy interacting with men on a regular basis. Update: I'm now at almost 45, learning to tap into my feminine energy 😁. I love my dude but I'm not trying to make him homeboy. He knows he's my main guy.

    • @TomikaKelly
      @TomikaKelly Рік тому

      Using basic common sense, why would you have ever thought it was a good/funny idea to tell your partner about other men who are pursuing you? 🤔🤡

    • @nicoletuck9283
      @nicoletuck9283 Рік тому

      @@TomikaKelly open and honest!

  • @anitawarrington2478
    @anitawarrington2478 2 роки тому +1

    I have listened to many of your youtube videos and applied many ideas to my relationship. I want to say thank you for the much needed help. 🌞

  • @her.saving
    @her.saving 2 роки тому +21

    Facts, especially about sexual neglect. I've been stressed lately and completely neglected him and didn't realize it. He said maybe I'm just being needy, but I'm gonna need it everyday, 3-5 times a day. I was like no you're right, you need to be with someone who's on that same level. He’s a sex addict and I’m not about that life

    • @estherb.6433
      @estherb.6433 2 роки тому +15

      3-5 times a day is waaay excessive.

    • @tinamarie8061
      @tinamarie8061 2 роки тому +11

      That’s disturbing.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +1

      Thank you for sharing your experience! I appreciate that ❤️

    • @beeaboutabbabusiness8738
      @beeaboutabbabusiness8738 2 роки тому

      He's a sex addict and needs professional help

    • @Joy-mm3cz
      @Joy-mm3cz 2 роки тому +2

      He could be physical touch as #1 or 2. Definitely know each other’s 5 languages in order and try to date people who aline with you. My last language was my ex’s top. Didn’t know about love languages 29 years ago & how important it is to line up with at least top 2-3.

  • @joanfischer9371
    @joanfischer9371 10 місяців тому

    Right, he’s not easily to open up about, his feelings!
    This drives me crazy about, him.
    He’s a very, recent new guy in my life.
    I’m just, about ready to give him the Pink Slip. Lol!
    And, put it in God’s hands from here.
    I feel like, I’m putting my effort into him and he’s not, reciprocating the same effort.
    God bless, you Stephan; you are so.... Amazing in your relationship coaching.
    I LOVE ..... hearing and listening to your advice and knowledge.
    Thank you! 🙏🏻💕
    I’m a Leo;
    I’m looking for my King however; I can run this castle myself 👑🦁

  • @RhondaR4
    @RhondaR4 2 роки тому +2

    This is really good‼️🔥
    Thank you, Step!🌟👑❤️
    Every man in my life from my Father and on always gravitated to me because they seen I’m compassionate! I care! I was the one never able to open up and be my authentic self!
    I hope and pray I receive what my heart desires in a marriage!🙏🏽❤️

  • @Ryancia1
    @Ryancia1 2 роки тому +1

    Top tier information here. Thank you for sharing!

  • @Tara-._.-
    @Tara-._.- 2 роки тому +10

    This is actually really eye opening and very helpful. Thank you, Stephan!

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +1

      I'm happy this has been helpful to you, don't forget to share so that others can receive love and healing ❤ 🙏

  • @theap6044
    @theap6044 2 роки тому +8

    Thank you, this was very informative. I definitely have been in the position in a past relationship where if he didn't have the money for something we wanted to do, I'd offer to pay for it. I never thought about this making him feel worse.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +1

      I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏

    • @theap6044
      @theap6044 2 роки тому

      @@MeetStephanSpeaks Very much so. Thank you. 🙂

  • @mrs.carvil8325
    @mrs.carvil8325 2 роки тому +3

    I appreciate your vulnerability Stephen💯💯💯. So helpful

  • @HenriSallSilverSistah
    @HenriSallSilverSistah 2 роки тому +2

    This was one of the MOST helpful videos yet. I watch you all the time and your videos have truly solidified that the right choices were made between me and my fiance. I find myself doing a checklist and sometimes I feel a little guilty because I don't want to feel like I'm playing him but I do want to make sure I'm covering all my bases. Thank you so much I resonate with everything you're saying.

  • @MrsCaviar
    @MrsCaviar 2 роки тому +12

    I love reading your advice. Re "Erectile Dysfunction" due to pornography is something I would NEVER have thought of. I know certain illnesses like Diabetes can cause this as does other medications. I'm one of those women who believes you should ALWAYS get "dressed for bed". You get dressed for work! Making the effort to show: "our lovelife is special and important to me". People don't engage in foreplay enough. Simple hugs and kisses will do wonders. Expressing physically as well as verbally that your intimate party is special and very important and that being with each other is a "safe place" emotionally.

    • @queenefuah444
      @queenefuah444 2 роки тому +1

      Drinking large amounts of alcohol can make it hard to get or keep an erection. This is called erectile dysfunction (ED). Alcohol interferes with the messengers in the brain that tell the penis to fill with blood. It can also happen because alcohol can reduce the production of testosterone.

    • @MrsCaviar
      @MrsCaviar 2 роки тому

      @@queenefuah444 Yup!

  • @uofhcandice
    @uofhcandice 2 роки тому +2

    I would argue that a man who cannot communicate is neglecting his relationship and his woman. The very first one on this list is the one that has the potential to cause so much damage.

  • @rosameijering5161
    @rosameijering5161 2 роки тому +2

    Thank you for saying the third. Its nothing new for me, but still think you saved a lot of hurt

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому

      Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️

  • @yvettec7713
    @yvettec7713 2 роки тому +11

    ….communication is a necessary pillar in healthy relationships. I agree-so important to create a safe space for honesty and vulnerability early in any relationship; especially in an intimate relationship. Do you have a video on sending and receiving the tough messages with respect and love and gentleness?

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +2

      You are absolutely right. Communication is definitely key! I haven't made the video you have asked for, but I will add it to my list to get it done! In the meantime, you will find this video helpful 👉 ua-cam.com/video/Yozm2Zrk83g/v-deo.html

    • @loveroxy1917
      @loveroxy1917 2 роки тому

      @@MeetStephanSpeaks looking forward to this one. I'm in a situation now where a man is holding back because he thinks he's going to hurt me with his truth or honesty

  • @nicoletorres6940
    @nicoletorres6940 2 роки тому +2

    So glad u brought the porn up! I keep trying to tell this to my best friend because I worry about him and other woman with this. He got sick years ago and no one can figure out what is wrong so he will not go out and meet people because of this and he struggles I feel like I’m this area now. I feel it’s an evil thing that attaches to you when entertaining porn and getting to a place where things are unnatural.

  • @danagold7115
    @danagold7115 2 роки тому

    I was trying everything he’s saying that a woman should be doing, and nothing worked. He would shut down for no explainable reason. The relationship never started after talking for nearly 6 months… it was so exhausting. He has literally taken my entire 2022. I don’t have the energy to do this again anytime soon.

  • @debradorsey153
    @debradorsey153 2 роки тому +3

    A healthy fulfilling martial relationship because they often confide their deepest hopes and fears to each other.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +1

      Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️

  • @caitlinvenespanol305
    @caitlinvenespanol305 2 роки тому +4

    Wow! Me encanta que hables de esto porque muchas veces no sabemos que el problema en nuestra relación podemos ser nosotras. Al poner el sexo como un premio o castigo o simplemente hacerlo sentir mal por quererlo…
    Muchas gracias!!

  • @kimemiasheila1500
    @kimemiasheila1500 2 роки тому +5

    Thanks Stephan, that was very informative and honest and applicable🙃✨

  • @DEMON-SLAYER101
    @DEMON-SLAYER101 2 роки тому +3

    See this is why I’m very talkative. My baby’s dad told me some girl called him a b and I get how easy it is to do so when someone upsets you. I almost slipped up and called him one but then he told me that. We’re not together and we don’t talk but yeah. He also said girls always use him/play him/etc but he had someone that respected him, loved him, cared deeply for him and someone who wanted to give him the world and then some but he chose other females so I left him to the bed he made🤷🏾‍♀️. I wanted a life with him he wanted other people. And or wanted poly but picked someone else first then tried to add me into the mix but didn’t want me when I wanted him. That’s a slap in the face plus he seemed like he only wanted me for selfish needs really. He doesn’t know how to effectively and efficiently be in a safe and healthy relationship let alone be in a poly. His expectations were child like to say the lease/not realistic at all. There’s so much more to all this but can we please talk about this!

  • @faithdobson3983
    @faithdobson3983 2 роки тому +2

    Thank you for sharing this! Keep posting and may God continue to bless you!🙏🏽🙏🏽❤

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому +1

      Thank you very much I'm happy to hear that and may God continue to bless you as well 🙏

  • @mara11333
    @mara11333 2 роки тому +22

    He’s like a wall. Saying the same thing to me constantly. Ugh. Maybe he’s not ready but wants to be. Who the heck knows?

    • @nay9nay
      @nay9nay 2 роки тому +1

      Mara, have you dismissed him a lot when he was expressing himself or when he did you said "that's not it"? Or told his business or what he said to you privately? Men start to shut down when they don't feel safe or heard. A lot of times in the beginning you can tell what kind of man you have in your hands, the wall or the one who is open and will talk to get to know each other. That's why women shouldn't talk as much in the dating phase to know which one you have and a whole slew of reasons, like not adapting to what you like vs who he really is. If you had the communicator in the beginning and he stops then the questions above are appropriate, but if you had the wall, it has become part of his personality due to society, hurt or childhood etc. and to understand takes more than the above questions, but counseling. Only you know as a couple, try to look on the outside looking in, if you don't understand what's happening without emotions. Hope that helps.
      I know from experience, started talking to a wall when he only asked questions about me and didnt answer any on him and seemed like a controller, cut that off real quick bc they will make it sound like I really want to know about you. Then I dated the talker and made the mistake and said something back to him, and remember him saying that's why I don't give that out, oops didn't do it out of spite and then knew men are very sensitive about things they tell us. I became more mindful and it wasnt something big in my eyes, but he expressed it as a disapproval and that was between me and him, I can't imagine if I said it near others. So men are really sensitive on what is said to you only etc., your finally the one he feels safe to talk to because the world tells them shut up and work or man up, you're the safe place or supposed to be.

    • @mara11333
      @mara11333 2 роки тому

      @@nay9nay Just the opposite. I’m his squash muffin and I love on him every day.

  • @nikkimay78
    @nikkimay78 2 роки тому +7

    What I find interesting is in one of your videos … “ How do men view sex” it was thought as just an act … it’s just sex . Although in a committed relationship the “just sex” that gets withheld is now a possible form of lack of love ❤️…. I totally get it but just an observation. Your videos are super enlightening

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому

      ❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching, I appreciate your feedback!

  • @sweetcapricorn
    @sweetcapricorn 2 роки тому +6

    A man gotta know he needs healing and wants to be open otherwise its all for not

  • @thicks6694
    @thicks6694 2 роки тому +1

    This is a good one!! Ty Stephan❣

  • @kimsanders8262
    @kimsanders8262 Рік тому +2

    My friend constantly belittled me about everything. I was helping him,like he helped me a few times,but he constantly kept doing it. I left him alone. He stop speaking to me. I wasn't changing fast enough for him to be the way he wanted me to be.

  • @Iambelinda79
    @Iambelinda79 2 роки тому +2

    Thanks Stephan love it💙

  • @Betinhaac
    @Betinhaac 2 роки тому +5

    Seriously… this guy! ❤️ thank you for sharing your wisdom and time 🙏🏼✨

  • @MichellePerdomoCoaching
    @MichellePerdomoCoaching Рік тому

    Thank you so much for this eye-opening insight. Several of these points I had never even thought might be an issue for men, but they make perfect sense. I do want to add something though. If the man in the case of feeling neglected or losing his attraction for the woman, i think the man has important role in making things better. If a man wants her woman to lose weight, he could contribute to creating a healthy environment in the house. For example, not bringing in a bunch of junk food into the house and eating it in front of her. If he feels neglected, he could ask her if he could take some chores off her plate. I believe he needs to take on a supportive role for his wife so he can get his needs met. Just saying things and making demands doesn't help. I don't think most women are neglecting the man or her attractiveness for no reason.

  • @keeidoeee
    @keeidoeee 2 роки тому +4

    I truly enjoy your videos Stephan, so much clarity and insight. Thank you and God bless you!

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 роки тому

      Thank you very much I'm happy to hear that and may God bless you as well 🙏

  • @cynthiareynolds1941
    @cynthiareynolds1941 2 роки тому

    This good information. My guy did explain that he was having financial problems. With the information that you provide has education me what to say because I have not dated in years. We talked about a lot of things that you are talking about right now. This is good!!

    • @jordynhenninghenning2901
      @jordynhenninghenning2901 2 роки тому

      Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed
      back again my ex is back to me we live happily
      together now, I got help from #dralieaotor