And when this life is done, instead of St Peter, we will be greeted by Ashens' giant hands. We will judged, and either end up on the good shelf or burned.
Let me tell you, that sticky material stuff is a bastard. Here in the US there was a fad for sticky hands and other miscellaneous-shaped sticky things, and they were often sold in quarter vending machines for kids. My family ended up getting a rather big rat-shaped one, and my dad flung it by its tail, sticking it to the ceiling. My parents divorced not long after that. But the oily residue stuck around!
People's Nans in the pound shop observing the light-up chick thing: "Oooh that's cute, I bet our little Franny-poo will like that. Shall we get it? Yeeeaah let's get it. Why not, eh? It's only a pound!" Stuart observing the light-up chick thing: "Oooh this reminds me of the darkest fucking collection of words and concepts ever committed to print by man or otherwise. Might make a half decent segment of a youtube video. Shall I chuck it in the trolley with the other shite? Why not, eh? Nothing matters in the slightest."
4 роки тому+9
“I’m going to try a bit of the mushy blue stuff” *shockingly audible crunch* I did not expect that...
It's only just struck me, at how funny the whole "sad onion" thing actually is, and ashens said it so naturally in this video, that i have in fact broken into hysterics and passed away.
For those curious in the UK, "Dolgen corp" is the American company that owns "Dollar General" stores, a chain that, as the name suggests, would be similar to Poundland / Poundworld. I know they have been brought up before on this channel but clarification I felt would be nice. Also, that company HQ is in the same state as me, so.. yeah... I knew that bloody package looked too American!
from what I understand, Poundland/world is more akin to the American Dollar Trees. Dollar Generals don't have everything for $1, highest I've ever seen something in there is $50. Otherwise, TIL about Dolgen Corp
Dollar General is a discount store, but unlike Poundland or Dollar Tree, they do sell stuff that cost over a dollar, so their selection tends to be a bit more broader and has some familiar name brands sold regularly. They sometimes get some exclusives now and then like the time they had the Pac-Man plug 'n play I picked up a few years back.
Those squishy chicks and whatnot were really helpful to me several years ago when my mental disabilities started surfacing. The squishiness was very comforting and squeezing them was very cathartic.
I lost it at “throw the egg on a window!...how bout no” he just sounds so unimpressed 😂 Edit: “I’ve given the egg splat a hernia!” is my new favourite Ashens quote ever
I've been addicted to your channel for the past few weeks (and I'm glad that so much content has been created.. Since the dawn of UA-cam lol). You actually have the exact same sense of humor and general tone as one of my closest childhood friends (even though he's American lol). We were always obsessed with Monty Python back then, though, so I guess you both have had similar comedic influences. Thanks for all the great videos!!!! Happy Easter!!!
Lol I remember when I used to watch Ashens after stressing about exams and he’d some how calm me that much I’d fall asleep 😂😂😂😂 First time in years I’ve watched him again
I got one of those "Egg Splat" things years ago at an exhibition near my old house. I actually loved it. There were multiple ones, one was a tomato, one was an egg, and I think one was like some sort of weird zombie where its skeleton would be little bone pieces inside. If you throw it really hard against a wall it never breaks and makes a satisfying splat noise and looks pretty rad. Too bad it always left marks on the wall and I was too scared of it breaking
I saw the egg and spoon race kit in a cheap store here, complete with fake eggs. Was going to send it through to you guys! Nice to see it reviewed here.
When you wack that light up chick the only thing I thought was that song "Sandstorm" by Darude being played while it was lighten up. I remember eating this tube of jelly goo "candy" at the dollar store as a kid... it wasn't good, it was just artificial flavor of this jelly blue syrup in a tube. and I don't think they make them any more and that's a good thing.
PSA: Easter is on April first this year. That means you can do a few funny pranks to unsuspecting egg hunters! (young and old!) My favorite is filling the eggs with dental floss, gluing the eggs shut, or spiking the candy inside with rat poison!
I prefer to go to church dressed as Jesus christ only to take off my robe and declare myself as the anti christ. It's a hoot. Unrelated note. Deacons are really fond of Beretta Nanos.
A very Happy Easter to you. Kinda lazy for "Poundland" to re-purpose "Christmas Crackers" into "Easter Crackers", but I will say at least the first ones had more Easter related stuff then the other pack. Wouldn't surprise me if there existed "Halloween Crackers" or "Thanksgiving Crackers". Hell, I'd be more shocked if they made Arbor Day Crackers. Fun Special.
I love moving my mouse across the timeline on the bottom of the video and seeing his couch in the preview steadily become completely obscured by mountains of trash.
I'm fairly impressed that marshmallow/gummy thing was soft at all with a best buy of 2015. Impressed and more than a little disturbed. Also, have you ever wondered what came first, the chocolate Easter Bunny or the chocolate Christmas Santa? It's strange because all chocolate Santas are leftover Bunnies and vice versa. The world may never know.
Funeral Crackers: contain a little skull, a black party hat and a miniature death certificate. No 'bang' when you pull it, just a sobbing sound. This has now been published, so Poundland, you owe me a percentage.
And when this life is done, instead of St Peter, we will be greeted by Ashens' giant hands. We will judged, and either end up on the good shelf or burned.
I would join this religion. I call the spot next to whatever He Man figure is on the shelf at any given time.
*good shelf* The shelf of interesting items , you uncultured swine.
"We will judged".
we are all currently in the draw of purgatory
@@andymadden8183 will lay egg
*Official Petition* to make Tesco change their slogan to *"That Big Supermarket Wot Does Sell the Stuff"*
Fazers "every little does not help"
Change it to "Every little helps... Us".
Every little helps *us get richer*
I have no beak, but I must cluck.
An excellent reference.
Nice one!
Lestat Comédantè thank you
Let me tell you, that sticky material stuff is a bastard. Here in the US there was a fad for sticky hands and other miscellaneous-shaped sticky things, and they were often sold in quarter vending machines for kids. My family ended up getting a rather big rat-shaped one, and my dad flung it by its tail, sticking it to the ceiling.
My parents divorced not long after that.
But the oily residue stuck around!
Are you sure that was not a genuine rat
Is it bad I look forward to holidays because of Ashens specials more than the holidays themselves.
Charlie Hamnett nah mate welcome to adulthood holidays
No
It's not Easter until Ashens is forced to taste-test a chick/rabbit that may or may not be actually made out of food.
*something edible
They’re almost certainly made out of food. That’s the scary part.
People's Nans in the pound shop observing the light-up chick thing: "Oooh that's cute, I bet our little Franny-poo will like that. Shall we get it? Yeeeaah let's get it. Why not, eh? It's only a pound!"
Stuart observing the light-up chick thing: "Oooh this reminds me of the darkest fucking collection of words and concepts ever committed to print by man or otherwise. Might make a half decent segment of a youtube video. Shall I chuck it in the trolley with the other shite? Why not, eh? Nothing matters in the slightest."
“I’m going to try a bit of the mushy blue stuff”
*shockingly audible crunch*
I did not expect that...
"you could probably destroy the houses of parliment with enough of these"
Stuart was then banned from the UK
Ebola Chan if someone did that they'd be a national hero
Stuart, not Stewart.
ah, I've got egg on me face
Ebola Chan (canned laughter)
Yeah, pretty sure he's on a government watchlist now.
"I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream" is literally the best sci-fi story ever.
This ain’t a scene, it’s a god damned spoon race.
At the end I thought you were going to show us the lord and savior *THE GOOSE* .
No, he locked it in a leaded trunk and chained it to the bottom of a very deep lake a long time ago.
If you want to see THE GOOSE, it's ruling over his kitchen.
Bilbo_Gamers no he didnt its in his kitchen. Lol
I think you mean the GROOSE. HE IS LOOSE.
Read it in Ashens voice
The sheer variety of sad onions discovered on this channel never ceases to surprise me
It's only just struck me, at how funny the whole "sad onion" thing actually is, and ashens said it so naturally in this video, that i have in fact broken into hysterics and passed away.
For those curious in the UK, "Dolgen corp" is the American company that owns "Dollar General" stores, a chain that, as the name suggests, would be similar to Poundland / Poundworld.
I know they have been brought up before on this channel but clarification I felt would be nice. Also, that company HQ is in the same state as me, so.. yeah... I knew that bloody package looked too American!
from what I understand, Poundland/world is more akin to the American Dollar Trees. Dollar Generals don't have everything for $1, highest I've ever seen something in there is $50. Otherwise, TIL about Dolgen Corp
Dollar General is a discount store, but unlike Poundland or Dollar Tree, they do sell stuff that cost over a dollar, so their selection tends to be a bit more broader and has some familiar name brands sold regularly. They sometimes get some exclusives now and then like the time they had the Pac-Man plug 'n play I picked up a few years back.
Ashen's is the only reason I even remember to celebrate Easter.
You should buy your couch a gift this easter considering what it's been through
Justin Y. The one place I didn't expect to see you
The one Justin Y comment that has the least likes
You're cool 😎
“It’s going to be difficult to come in via the bottom...”
Words uttered on many a wedding night...
Out of date by 4 years.
This is the ashens I know
That's not Easter straw, that's a tribble, and you just killed it, you evil man you!
Feh. I'm sure there's plenty more where that one came from.
Doctor: "I'm sorry sir but I'm afraid you have a herniated egg splat. There is no cure."
I swear Ashens is the only reason I look forward to any holiday
Ashens: Reviewing food that probably hasn't been on sale for years
how else will we know whether we should have bought it?
Stu has eaten a scarily large amount of food from before the moon landing.
Those squishy chicks and whatnot were really helpful to me several years ago when my mental disabilities started surfacing. The squishiness was very comforting and squeezing them was very cathartic.
I lost it at “throw the egg on a window!...how bout no” he just sounds so unimpressed 😂
Edit: “I’ve given the egg splat a hernia!” is my new favourite Ashens quote ever
You missed the date by uploading on a tuesday...otherwise it would be ashens wednesday
anythingorz *click* PPPHBT
i have no beak... and i must cheep...
I hop. And when I hop, I never get off the ground.
tsukiji_wasabi cheeeeeep cheep cheep cheeeeeep.
I have no bill, and I must trill...
@@nathanbarnes6869 bills for thrills maybe?
A man throws Toyah Willcox's old merkin to the back of his sofa and films himself saying the word Cadbury won't.
NICE!
That poor couch.
It's a SOFA
Can someone explain the difference?!🤔
A sofa is something you're not supposed to lay on, it's meant only for sitting (also, from what I read, it's meant to be slightly less comfortable).
Elly Medrano a sofa is correct English and a couch is American.
It's been through so much
This reminds me of my youth having a big bag of grass before hoping to get some chicks to flash me.
Chalky 😂😂😂
Very very very sadly, I got excited when the fortune telling fish was found. I even said "aw yes" out loud. Kill me, it is the only kind thing to do.
That couch never gets old
Seeing this in my notifications has literally made my day
...and you didn't disappoint!
You never disappoint in eating expired garbage
Did that laugh box have a gunshot? Thats a bit intense...
Lmao I have one of those. There is also a bomb sound.
No
And here I was rewatching the past specals to prepare for this one. Highlight of my holiday as always!
_An excellent time honored tradition._
"It's going to be difficult to come in via the bottom" - Oo-er missus !
Ass Burgers thank you for fulfilling my expectations of this community.
It was totally necessary. You're quite welcome
Your name is based on that episode of South park where Carmen thought that asbugers is pronounced "ass burgers"
Georgina Yes it is and you'd be surprised at the amount of abuse I get from people who don't realise that it's just a joke from it.
I’ve given you a like purely for using the phrase “oo-er”
Aw, I actually really like those rubbery squidgy chicks. They're good tactile things to fidget with.
until you break them by stretching them too much.
You created your very own Easter land fill diorama 🤗
The best joke ever got off a laffy taffy wrapper was " What is the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheel chair!"
Thedoctor133 okay that made me laugh
I love having dark jokes on a children's product. Especially since, from what I've read, that joke would have probably been sent in by a child.
Thedoctor133 hahaha okay everyone has seen it on the internet
My 3yr old HAS to watch "ashens" every night at bed... luckily, I've got a new one he'll love!
Cody Granrud this series isn't really appropriate for a three year-old imo...better than that Spiderman and Elsa though tat I guess
A 3yr old should not really watch it as there is a bit of swear
Your holiday tat suffering gives me great joy. Thank you for your sacrifice dr. Ashens!
I really love these holiday tat specials. Thank you, ashens!
You know you've watched too many Ashens Easter/Xmas Specials when you've heard every cracker joke at least 3 times.
YESSSSS FATHER DROWN ME IN UR EASTER SPECIAL GOODNESS , the rebirth of ur most recent upload list fills me with sweet delight. Thankyou
I've been addicted to your channel for the past few weeks (and I'm glad that so much content has been created.. Since the dawn of UA-cam lol). You actually have the exact same sense of humor and general tone as one of my closest childhood friends (even though he's American lol). We were always obsessed with Monty Python back then, though, so I guess you both have had similar comedic influences. Thanks for all the great videos!!!! Happy Easter!!!
Lol I remember when I used to watch Ashens after stressing about exams and he’d some how calm me that much I’d fall asleep 😂😂😂😂
First time in years I’ve watched him again
Loving the early guest appearance from the Lorax! Huge fan here c:
The true star of Ashens channel returns. The Sound Machine.
No lie my favorite part about your reviews is when you take that deep breathe after tasting anything unpleasant.
...followed by, "Oh."
Happy Easter 2009!
Internet Explorer
It's 2018, not 2009
MC Chase No shit Sherlock
Oh good Dad, you really are slow, no wonder I switched to Chrome
MC Chase it's 20018 as I type this, need to ascend soon and visiting ashen's channel before I return to the 105th dimension
@MC Chase
looks like you're the only slow one here mate
I got one of those "Egg Splat" things years ago at an exhibition near my old house. I actually loved it. There were multiple ones, one was a tomato, one was an egg, and I think one was like some sort of weird zombie where its skeleton would be little bone pieces inside. If you throw it really hard against a wall it never breaks and makes a satisfying splat noise and looks pretty rad. Too bad it always left marks on the wall and I was too scared of it breaking
He rose on the third day to allow a day for us to buy cheap trash made in China and candy to increase our obesity thank you Jesus
And then a rabbit laid eggs and hid them for all the little kids to find. Praise Jesus!
Jesus_isn't_real.
I love the reference to I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream. Great little story.
I came to hear him say "Easter chick" 50 thousand times.
This is just what I needed
Literally woke up this morning thinking "I hope Ashens uploads a 20 minute video today." BEST. DAY. EVER.
I used to be fascinated with those fuzzy chick things as a little kid. I'd always get them every Easter
Harlan Ellison approves of this horrorshow.
2012 Easter Special was still the best one.
"that's Spanish for look out these are shite" I spat my Pepsi everywhere lmao 🤣🤣🤣
Oh my god, that things crashing down sound effect just reminds me so much of Constructor.
I saw the egg and spoon race kit in a cheap store here, complete with fake eggs. Was going to send it through to you guys! Nice to see it reviewed here.
Nicely timed upload, I wonder what Poundland et all are 'blessing' us with this Easter?
You should open an art gallery for tat
tat modern
Jake Davies: I just wanted you to know you're my hero.
a Tatropolian Museum would be nice indeed.
Jake Davies was going to say the same thing. Damnit.
I would totally go to that.
Finally some classic ashens that isn't a blind egg/bag or a figurine.
I love you're videos it makes me feel good having someone with a sense of humor. Most people are a stick in the mud.
Wow, 1.3 million subs! Congratulations, Sir. Well done.
Ever since discovering Ashens I have been very grateful to live near a Poundland
I get nostalgic seeing these.
When you wack that light up chick
the only thing I thought was
that song "Sandstorm" by Darude being played
while it was lighten up.
I remember eating this tube of jelly goo "candy" at the dollar store as a kid...
it wasn't good, it was just artificial flavor of this jelly blue syrup in a tube.
and I don't think they make them any more and that's a good thing.
PSA: Easter is on April first this year.
That means you can do a few funny pranks to unsuspecting egg hunters! (young and old!)
My favorite is filling the eggs with dental floss, gluing the eggs shut, or spiking the candy inside with rat poison!
catbeweird Let's not forget the classic fresh dog mess egg trick!
I prefer to go to church dressed as Jesus christ only to take off my robe and declare myself as the anti christ. It's a hoot.
Unrelated note. Deacons are really fond of Beretta Nanos.
I want that magical sound effect contraption! :)
A very Happy Easter to you. Kinda lazy for "Poundland" to re-purpose "Christmas Crackers" into "Easter Crackers", but I will say at least the first ones had more Easter related stuff then the other pack. Wouldn't surprise me if there existed "Halloween Crackers" or "Thanksgiving Crackers". Hell, I'd be more shocked if they made Arbor Day Crackers. Fun Special.
I love this squishy things and how hey can stretch in all directions xD
Ayyy. I just got back from the dollar tree around the corner. I'll eat my poor quality chocolate bunny while I watch the video then.
Don't get sick from how cheap it is.
The chick you can use to scare the crap out of a stoner roomy, put it over their eyes and make a siren sound, "Shit, it's the cops! Run!".
Ah, the sixth anniversary of my finding your channel has come. gee.
"Rubbery mass of lit up God-knows-what." Story of my life, really...
I love moving my mouse across the timeline on the bottom of the video and seeing his couch in the preview steadily become completely obscured by mountains of trash.
This is the earliest I've made it to an Ashens video.
22 minutes late.
Sound Machine has enhanced the fun factor by at least 2.
We’ll call him dwerp 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣 made me laugh so hard
That egg looks like a lot of fun.
I have the urge to find those light up chicks here in the US just to cannibalize the lights for other projects
Dollar Tree has them
Dungeon Master, for all your holiday needs.
Happy easter Ashens, great video as always. 😄
Ashens, why on earth are you uploading this at 2 am? But the again, this is enough to keep me going, with this damn insomnia I’m having!
God I love that sound machine
bill plimton had me dying, and i don't understand why
I'm fairly impressed that marshmallow/gummy thing was soft at all with a best buy of 2015. Impressed and more than a little disturbed.
Also, have you ever wondered what came first, the chocolate Easter Bunny or the chocolate Christmas Santa? It's strange because all chocolate Santas are leftover Bunnies and vice versa. The world may never know.
My left ear really enjoyed this pitch
Funeral Crackers: contain a little skull, a black party hat and a miniature death certificate. No 'bang' when you pull it, just a sobbing sound.
This has now been published, so Poundland, you owe me a percentage.
I love your breathing sound when you’re tasting bad food 😂😂
It’s my birthday! Yay new ashens special as a gift!
Miranda Dalgetty Aw, happy belated birthday!
i can’t even tell you how strangely satisfying it was watching you stretch and squish that chick amoeba lol i loved that
"Crappy spinning top?!" HEY! The little spinning tops from Christmas Crackers actually work really well!
because of ashens I will never eat foamy food, thanks you saved my life
Oh Jesus the silence after he threw the egg. I’m dead.