My husband did everything you listed here…but still lost custody. The mother knew how to manipulate. Even had the child with us 5 days a week until the mother saw the child having a good relationship with us. Then it all went upside down. Child is an adult now. Just wanted to tell our story. Left a lot out cause I could write a book. Never give up Dads!!
So heartbreaking! Unfortunately, "justice" isn't always "fair." It breaks my heart when dads do everything they're supposed to do, only to have the courthouse door slammed in their face.
Two wins to help you Matthew. My Brother received custody for my nieces and my Nephew received custody of his son. All of the children are grown now. They were all allowed to keep in contact with their Mothers when it was safe for them to do so.
Wow Hitting close to home here. My son and his daughter are living with us right now and we are going through this process. The mother is a heavy drinking party girl. A couple of months ago she got a drunk driving and she works part time at a liquor store. I could go on but there’s no need. We are not at the custody hearing part yet, still waiting for a hearing date, but are confident my son will prevail.
Wow! So sad when a parent puts their own needs before the needs of their child. Hopefully your attorney has you collecting all of the necessary evidence so you'll emerge successful!
It’s great hearing this. Going through it now and my attorney thinks I have a good choice at having custody of my son. My ex isn’t a horrible person. But she’s tryna get me to pay a lot in child support, when I’m present and my child is with me 3 to4 days out the week. Every week. I have a stable job. She doesn’t. I have stable income. Hers varies. I have a stable home for years. She’s moved in with different men 2 different times. My attorney thinks I can get custody of him. And she visits. Ima try it. Pray for me
How much time in front of the judge did he give you to explain My ex is toxic tried to take my house and keep my kids from me for child support but I still haven’t had much time to speak
@@NBAfast-breakPODCAST man, we had two separate court hearings (3 hours each), plus my son had about an hour conversation with the judge in between both hearings. Every piece of evidence I provided was used. Everything she had was used as well. It was very thorough.
I have video of my sons mother freaking out and walking out, she clearly says in the video “F it you can have him, I don’t want him anyways” … our son heard that… and now she’s trying to say she only said that out of anger. But there’s more - she has threatened suicide ON VIDEO. Yes I started recording during our verbal exchange. Would this help my case? Really would appreciate the feedback. I have taken my attorneys advice and I’ve been trying to be super dad in his mother’s absence. The same night she left she assaulted me, which is on a police report. Edit: She has been going to his school every week and bringing him happy meals from McDonalds and taking a selfie with him, but not staying to have lunch with him. I know this thanks to the schools counselors. I believe she is doing this as a photo-op type of tactic to make herself look involved in his life. She has come to our home a few times to visit, but refuses to come inside. She tries to demand that she sees him outside, and that we stay inside. I believe she wants to snatch him up and take off with him. So we haven’t been letting him go outside with her. Are my odds of winning this battle good, or does any of this information not matter to the judge? I would think my chances of winning are pretty damn good considering the judge is supposed to take the child’s best interest into mind… and I don’t see how her having custody could be in his best interest if she is talking suicidal all the time.. It should also be noted that when our child was born the nursing staff called CPS on her because they were and I quote this directly from their records which I have turned over to my attorney “worried about her cognitive ability to care for a child” - and my attorney contacted her attorney and told me that they are trying to say I have domestic violence issues, however she assaulted me… and never complained about anything or filed anything me while we were together. My attorney is telling me this could just all be hearsay and lies from her in a desperate attempt to make her case look better
Thank you! It is an honor and a privilege to educate. 😁 Be sure to SHARE this video with others in your circle so we can educate as many people as possible!
@@MatthewHarrisLawPLLC your part about the text messages were really good, and a recent reminder of somewhere I could have done better. All this Court process and fatherhood is really an opportunity for growth. I made a bulleted list from your content as a tool for reminder and to check in with self. Dads who are going through this process need and want to grow need reminders like in your content. Men may not share content, here's my story: Early in the process, I shared a post on "signs of alienation for Dad's," which really has good tips, and it was attacked by a flying monkey. So I personally, (I don't know men in general) may be less likely to share posts on this content (especially while they are going through the process) because it could come up in Court as skewed or manipulated, but I do watch and like it and comment. Men going through this process really have to tap deep, go inside, take accountability, improve themselves and ideally have a good therapist and trusted friends and family. Thank you for your content.
@@ifgstop5630one option might be to push for supervised visitation. While expensive, you'll get some time with your child(ren), and the supervisor will provide unbiased records of the interactions. Those records are then sent to lawyers, who can share with you.
I am faced with this sort of dilemma on a daily basis. Very often, the Father doesn't realize how many rights he has under the Court Order in place. Most likely, you still maintain the right to confer with teachers and access to school records. Even when the Mother has the complete ability to make decisions regarding education, the Father still has the right to be involved and make his wishes known. Even if the final decision comes down to what the Mother wants, don't forget that the teachers, counselors, and principals are still people to. If you approach them with genuine interest in wanting to make sure that your child's best interest is taken care of, then they will want you to be a part of the process and will factor your desires into their decision making process. Keep your head up and never stop being involved. If I could instill just ONE lesson to all of the Fathers out there, that would be the lesson.
I think the idea is that you should have been doing these things all along (ie. prior to the divorce). The courts are going to give a lot of weight to the parent who was the primary carer during the marriage, not just who wants to be that now.
@@Tim85-y2q Bingo. You can't just claim to be an involved parent now that you are under scrutiny. Any lowlife can make things look a certain way to the court to try and get more parenting time, when they otherwise wouldn't have cared. That's also a form of manipulation. Abusers do this shit all the time...They will have no qualms with the other party doing all the parental heavy lifting, and will spend minimal time with the kids or contributing to raising them. But then as soon as the victim decides to get out of the relationship/divorce, the abuser will fight for custodial time that they don't even value and never had before.
The law should simply be shared custody, unless one parent is a criminal, a drug addict, or some other serious problem based on police records and legal records.
What happens When your Grandchild's Mother won't let you or your Son speak to the child.... We just found out about My Grandson in March of this year... Hes's 4 .. Thanks for any and all recommendations Thanks in Advance
Oh my goodness. My heart breaks for you and your family! I'm not sure what state you're in, or what your state's laws are for grandparents rights, but here in Texas grandparents have very few rights to visitation with the child. I suggest that your son immediately get a family law attorney to file suit for visitation with the child. He also needs to immediately start paying child support or else he could be facing a rather large arrearage. Unfortunately, there's very little that can be done to force visitation without a court order.
four years ago my child mom fight me and put a gun to my head in the front front of our daughter. Can I use this as evidence now or will it not be submissible in the courts in Florida today?
What about a mother who is manipulative, extremely stubborn and will disregard anything you say and laugh at you, extremely paranoid and left your dad because she feels he didn’t support her even though he tried, and gilt trips you because her broken family? I’m right now in a 50-50 with my mom and dad, me and my sister want 100% with dad but don’t know how to properly go about it because I doubt my mom will agree let alone not guilt trip me, my mom was so terrible that she gilt tripped my 9 yo sister into saying she didn’t love my dad just to make mom love her 💔😞 plz help Also if you’re 15 yo, even if your mom has automatic custody can you choose who you live with? Or are you forced to live with her
This just breaks my heart! No parent should ever put their child in such circumstances. Unfortunately, not all parents are good people. Simply bringing a life into this world doesn't automatically make someone upstanding, moral, or good-hearted. It's helpful for you to know now that your parents aren't perfect and that they're going to make mistakes. I'm not sure what state you're in, but in Texas, when the child is 12+ years old, then they can tell the Judge which parent they want to live with. The Judge isn't required to follow it (for example if Dad was in a halfway house and child wanted to live with Dad) but it is a factor that weighs pretty heavily. Good parents don't approach their children and ask them to choose, but in my experience, children who have a preference will often make it known. If your Mother is being manipulative, and sending you on guilt trips, then that is a form of emotional abuse. Unfortunately, this is something that you're going to deal with your entire life since she'll always be your mother and these issues won't ever simply go away. I recommend you reading a book called Boundaries (by Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend). It will help you to establish some of those emotional boundaries for your Mother. Next, if you're going through these emotional struggles, then you should ask each of your parents to get you into counseling as your counselor can also help give you some tools to combat this emotional abuse. Also, in case a Court fight is ever necessary, your conversations with the Counselor can be helpful in documenting the effect that any emotional abuse has had on you. I pray the best for you and your family. I hope that you can find a grain of comfort in the novel I just realized that I wrote. lol.
Son lived with me for the last three years while his mother was arrested for meth and worse drugs I Proved her still on drugs failed her drug test gal said he should be put back in my custody now two months later got a court date after they said she shouod have the child till then because she stole my son from the school and yet he tells me everytike i get him he wants to come home momey doesnt have clothes for me but ive been forced to pay child support since the court date so she can buy drugs not for our son been same job 7 years make good money coach gis baseball team etc the system is against us
@andrewmcclellan8808 my boyfriend is going through a very similarities only while she had him she lost it and beat the trap out of him. Dad filed charges, got Cps involved but they gave him back and criminal case is still being investigated! I don't understand how the system can alienate dad's to the detriment of the child.
What if my babies father took her for the night and didnt return her? He than put a intervention order against me not my child for defending myself in February when he grabbed my arm and pulled me down stairs Also he has strangled me and i have a witness for this Thank you
I think you need to be more honest if you are going to make a video like this. Gender is a HUGE factor in custody. Is it the only factor? No. But it's probably the most important one. BTW I prevailed in a contested custody case, so I speak from experience.
Way to go! As to gender, did you know that it is actually illegal for the Court to consider gender or marital status when determining custody in Texas? (Tex. Fam. Code § 153.003)
@@MatthewHarrisLawPLLC As I'm sure you already know, no one cares about laws like this. In MA, there are Judges that have been sitting on the bench for decades that have NEVER ruled in favor of a Dad in a contested case. That's provably discriminatory by any reasonable standard, and yet it continues. My understanding from looking at cases from the past 14 years is that TX is slightly better but not great for Dads.
Hey! 🪴🦜🍁 UA-cam recommended one of your videos, and I must say, you post awesome stuff. I love it, and I want to see you on top! By the way, I was wondering if you or your friend need a video editor or thumbnail designer. I am Mohan, a professional video editor and thumbnail designer with 4.5 years of experience in creating engaging and high-quality videos and thumbnails for UA-cam. If not, please reply with "NO" and I will remove you from my follow-up list. Keep creating amazing content! Best regards, Mohan
My husband did everything you listed here…but still lost custody. The mother knew how to manipulate. Even had the child with us 5 days a week until the mother saw the child having a good relationship with us. Then it all went upside down.
Child is an adult now. Just wanted to tell our story. Left a lot out cause I could write a book. Never give up Dads!!
So heartbreaking! Unfortunately, "justice" isn't always "fair." It breaks my heart when dads do everything they're supposed to do, only to have the courthouse door slammed in their face.
Two wins to help you Matthew. My Brother received custody for my nieces and my Nephew received custody of his son. All of the children are grown now. They were all allowed to keep in contact with their Mothers when it was safe for them to do so.
@WallFlower852 so he didn't get to see his daughter til she was grown ?
Same thing happening to me
@MatthewHarrisLawPLLC there day is coming, and to those that help out on this crime. 🙏🏿 for you all!!!
Wow
Hitting close to home here.
My son and his daughter are living with us right now and we are going through this process. The mother is a heavy drinking party girl. A couple of months ago she got a drunk driving and she works part time at a liquor store. I could go on but there’s no need. We are not at the custody hearing part yet, still waiting for a hearing date, but are confident my son will prevail.
Wow! So sad when a parent puts their own needs before the needs of their child. Hopefully your attorney has you collecting all of the necessary evidence so you'll emerge successful!
@@MatthewHarrisLawPLLCYes. There’s a large journal/log of all communications and activities. He’s covered.
I got custody of my son three months ago. It’s attainable. Fight the good fight, brothers.
Way to go! ❤
It’s great hearing this. Going through it now and my attorney thinks I have a good choice at having custody of my son. My ex isn’t a horrible person. But she’s tryna get me to pay a lot in child support, when I’m present and my child is with me 3 to4 days out the week. Every week. I have a stable job. She doesn’t. I have stable income. Hers varies. I have a stable home for years. She’s moved in with different men 2 different times. My attorney thinks I can get custody of him. And she visits. Ima try it. Pray for me
@j.rivera6402 my ex had not tried see his son since age 6 my son is 20 now 14 yrs not saw his daddy
How much time in front of the judge did he give you to explain
My ex is toxic tried to take my house and keep my kids from me for child support but I still haven’t had much time to speak
@@NBAfast-breakPODCAST man, we had two separate court hearings (3 hours each), plus my son had about an hour conversation with the judge in between both hearings. Every piece of evidence I provided was used. Everything she had was used as well. It was very thorough.
I have video of my sons mother freaking out and walking out, she clearly says in the video “F it you can have him, I don’t want him anyways” … our son heard that… and now she’s trying to say she only said that out of anger. But there’s more - she has threatened suicide ON VIDEO. Yes I started recording during our verbal exchange. Would this help my case? Really would appreciate the feedback. I have taken my attorneys advice and I’ve been trying to be super dad in his mother’s absence. The same night she left she assaulted me, which is on a police report.
Edit: She has been going to his school every week and bringing him happy meals from McDonalds and taking a selfie with him, but not staying to have lunch with him. I know this thanks to the schools counselors. I believe she is doing this as a photo-op type of tactic to make herself look involved in his life. She has come to our home a few times to visit, but refuses to come inside. She tries to demand that she sees him outside, and that we stay inside. I believe she wants to snatch him up and take off with him. So we haven’t been letting him go outside with her.
Are my odds of winning this battle good, or does any of this information not matter to the judge? I would think my chances of winning are pretty damn good considering the judge is supposed to take the child’s best interest into mind… and I don’t see how her having custody could be in his best interest if she is talking suicidal all the time..
It should also be noted that when our child was born the nursing staff called CPS on her because they were and I quote this directly from their records which I have turned over to my attorney “worried about her cognitive ability to care for a child”
- and my attorney contacted her attorney and told me that they are trying to say I have domestic violence issues, however she assaulted me… and never complained about anything or filed anything me while we were together. My attorney is telling me this could just all be hearsay and lies from her in a desperate attempt to make her case look better
This is great advice, thank you.
Thank you! It is an honor and a privilege to educate. 😁 Be sure to SHARE this video with others in your circle so we can educate as many people as possible!
@@MatthewHarrisLawPLLC your part about the text messages were really good, and a recent reminder of somewhere I could have done better. All this Court process and fatherhood is really an opportunity for growth. I made a bulleted list from your content as a tool for reminder and to check in with self. Dads who are going through this process need and want to grow need reminders like in your content.
Men may not share content, here's my story: Early in the process, I shared a post on "signs of alienation for Dad's," which really has good tips, and it was attacked by a flying monkey. So I personally, (I don't know men in general) may be less likely to share posts on this content (especially while they are going through the process) because it could come up in Court as skewed or manipulated, but I do watch and like it and comment. Men going through this process really have to tap deep, go inside, take accountability, improve themselves and ideally have a good therapist and trusted friends and family.
Thank you for your content.
😂 I'd be nice if mothers would follow these tips !!
agreed! All parents need to work together for the benefit of the children.
Yeah but how would you do that when the other parent is alienating the child from the other parent?
@@ifgstop5630one option might be to push for supervised visitation. While expensive, you'll get some time with your child(ren), and the supervisor will provide unbiased records of the interactions. Those records are then sent to lawyers, who can share with you.
I think the idea is that you have to have been doing those things prior to the divorce.
Great tips for both sides! Ty for posting this useful video. I am looking forward to watching more.
Thank you! It is an honor and a privilege to educate. 😁
Best advice I’ve heard so far…
Thank you! Be sure to share it far and wide. 💯
Outstanding video! Thank you!
Thank you! ♥
How do you prove this when the parent takes the children away because they are the primary carer and wont allow you to be envolved in the schooling?
I am faced with this sort of dilemma on a daily basis. Very often, the Father doesn't realize how many rights he has under the Court Order in place. Most likely, you still maintain the right to confer with teachers and access to school records. Even when the Mother has the complete ability to make decisions regarding education, the Father still has the right to be involved and make his wishes known.
Even if the final decision comes down to what the Mother wants, don't forget that the teachers, counselors, and principals are still people to. If you approach them with genuine interest in wanting to make sure that your child's best interest is taken care of, then they will want you to be a part of the process and will factor your desires into their decision making process.
Keep your head up and never stop being involved. If I could instill just ONE lesson to all of the Fathers out there, that would be the lesson.
I think the idea is that you should have been doing these things all along (ie. prior to the divorce). The courts are going to give a lot of weight to the parent who was the primary carer during the marriage, not just who wants to be that now.
@@Tim85-y2q Bingo. You can't just claim to be an involved parent now that you are under scrutiny. Any lowlife can make things look a certain way to the court to try and get more parenting time, when they otherwise wouldn't have cared. That's also a form of manipulation. Abusers do this shit all the time...They will have no qualms with the other party doing all the parental heavy lifting, and will spend minimal time with the kids or contributing to raising them. But then as soon as the victim decides to get out of the relationship/divorce, the abuser will fight for custodial time that they don't even value and never had before.
The law should simply be shared custody, unless one parent is a criminal, a drug addict, or some other serious problem based on police records and legal records.
@@MCC876 Until one wishes to move. Or, a thousand other reasons.
@@sianefer-ptah1258 This. There's a lot of reasons 50/50 doesn't always work best for the child(ren).
What happens When your Grandchild's Mother won't let you or your Son speak to the child.... We just found out about My Grandson in March of this year... Hes's 4 .. Thanks for any and all recommendations Thanks in Advance
Oh my goodness. My heart breaks for you and your family!
I'm not sure what state you're in, or what your state's laws are for grandparents rights, but here in Texas grandparents have very few rights to visitation with the child.
I suggest that your son immediately get a family law attorney to file suit for visitation with the child. He also needs to immediately start paying child support or else he could be facing a rather large arrearage.
Unfortunately, there's very little that can be done to force visitation without a court order.
What if the guardian doesn’t give me any of that info
four years ago my child mom fight me and put a gun to my head in the front front of our daughter. Can I use this as evidence now or will it not be submissible in the courts in Florida today?
That certainly wasn't true in Australia in the 1990's.
I want to help my dad win child custody and I don’t know if a kid can be involved in this situation
What about a mother who is manipulative, extremely stubborn and will disregard anything you say and laugh at you, extremely paranoid and left your dad because she feels he didn’t support her even though he tried, and gilt trips you because her broken family? I’m right now in a 50-50 with my mom and dad, me and my sister want 100% with dad but don’t know how to properly go about it because I doubt my mom will agree let alone not guilt trip me, my mom was so terrible that she gilt tripped my 9 yo sister into saying she didn’t love my dad just to make mom love her 💔😞 plz help
Also if you’re 15 yo, even if your mom has automatic custody can you choose who you live with? Or are you forced to live with her
This just breaks my heart! No parent should ever put their child in such circumstances. Unfortunately, not all parents are good people. Simply bringing a life into this world doesn't automatically make someone upstanding, moral, or good-hearted. It's helpful for you to know now that your parents aren't perfect and that they're going to make mistakes.
I'm not sure what state you're in, but in Texas, when the child is 12+ years old, then they can tell the Judge which parent they want to live with. The Judge isn't required to follow it (for example if Dad was in a halfway house and child wanted to live with Dad) but it is a factor that weighs pretty heavily.
Good parents don't approach their children and ask them to choose, but in my experience, children who have a preference will often make it known.
If your Mother is being manipulative, and sending you on guilt trips, then that is a form of emotional abuse. Unfortunately, this is something that you're going to deal with your entire life since she'll always be your mother and these issues won't ever simply go away.
I recommend you reading a book called Boundaries (by Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend). It will help you to establish some of those emotional boundaries for your Mother.
Next, if you're going through these emotional struggles, then you should ask each of your parents to get you into counseling as your counselor can also help give you some tools to combat this emotional abuse. Also, in case a Court fight is ever necessary, your conversations with the Counselor can be helpful in documenting the effect that any emotional abuse has had on you.
I pray the best for you and your family. I hope that you can find a grain of comfort in the novel I just realized that I wrote. lol.
@@MatthewHarrisLawPLLC thanks
Son lived with me for the last three years while his mother was arrested for meth and worse drugs I Proved her still on drugs failed her drug test gal said he should be put back in my custody now two months later got a court date after they said she shouod have the child till then because she stole my son from the school and yet he tells me everytike i get him he wants to come home momey doesnt have clothes for me but ive been forced to pay child support since the court date so she can buy drugs not for our son been same job 7 years make good money coach gis baseball team etc the system is against us
@andrewmcclellan8808 my boyfriend is going through a very similarities only while she had him she lost it and beat the trap out of him. Dad filed charges, got Cps involved but they gave him back and criminal case is still being investigated! I don't understand how the system can alienate dad's to the detriment of the child.
What if my babies father took her for the night and didnt return her? He than put a intervention order against me not my child for defending myself in February when he grabbed my arm and pulled me down stairs
Also he has strangled me and i have a witness for this
Thank you
And what if you are being shut out entirely by the other parent to even speaking with your kids?
I just wish peeps would get married and stay married. The good old days ..
Amen! I'd gladly take up tax law if it meant marriages never ended and families stayed together. 😢
They weren't the good old days for me. I'm in my 60's. The best thing my parents could have done for us would have been divorce. Just saying....
Before social media!
I think you need to be more honest if you are going to make a video like this. Gender is a HUGE factor in custody. Is it the only factor? No. But it's probably the most important one. BTW I prevailed in a contested custody case, so I speak from experience.
Way to go!
As to gender, did you know that it is actually illegal for the Court to consider gender or marital status when determining custody in Texas? (Tex. Fam. Code § 153.003)
@@MatthewHarrisLawPLLC
As I'm sure you already know, no one cares about laws like this. In MA, there are Judges that have been sitting on the bench for decades that have NEVER ruled in favor of a Dad in a contested case. That's provably discriminatory by any reasonable standard, and yet it continues.
My understanding from looking at cases from the past 14 years is that TX is slightly better but not great for Dads.
@@NothingisasitseemsPodcast any good advice on where to look
@@NothingisasitseemsPodcast Emasculation is rampant with young boys nowadays. Judges should look at this seriously.
How do moms win custody they show up to court
a 6 e a mae provar que o juiz favoreceu o pai e processar os dois...
I’m active but still judge sides with woman
People run out of money
Hey! 🪴🦜🍁
UA-cam recommended one of your videos, and I must say, you post awesome stuff. I love it, and I want to see you on top!
By the way, I was wondering if you or your friend need a video editor or thumbnail designer.
I am Mohan, a professional video editor and thumbnail designer with 4.5 years of experience in creating engaging and high-quality videos and thumbnails for UA-cam.
If not, please reply with "NO" and I will remove you from my follow-up list.
Keep creating amazing content!
Best regards,
Mohan
Thank you, but we have someone in-house who handles these things.