Isn’t it sickening that someone who’s never met the parents of a child, knows nothing about them or their lifestyle and has never seen or talked to the child decides their fate and how much a child should see both parents?
Its called having someone who is neutral and not ruled by emotion, so they can make unbiased decisions. That is the objective, does it work well in practice, currently no.
@@Ryukikon I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that these people are paid very well. So then they are ruled by money, not the best interest of the child. Drops mic
Paid by the county sure. So they have absolutely no interest in the health of the children. The kids need specialized parental alienation professionals involved. Not these worthless evaluators.
I went through a custody battle for my twin girls in so cal. Mom didn't want to give me joint custody but rather her have them and collect child support. I served her, went through mediation and then faced the judge and the judge granted me what I wanted, they were only 4 months old nd still granted me what i asked for. Soon enough she served me to reverse my rights, she lied and lied in her deceleration, our last judged past away so they assigned a different judge, again we went through mediation and faced the judge, the judge spoke to me only as she had a lawyer, ( both times) after she tried to talk the judge shut her up, yelled at her and once again I won my case. THEY are now 5 years old and I still have join custody, I don't know if it was luck, or things are changing now for men but I prayed and prayed and I believe God took part in what happend in that court room.
Or it was probably the fact that in family court you're not actually dealing with a judge you're dealing with a magistrate and magistrates have no power or jurisdiction to actually make a judgment. All they know is that every parent has rights and them not giving you those rights unless you're abusive to your kids the magistrate could get into some serious trouble. The magistrate is acting under color of law. Only an actual judge can make final decisions or judgments. The fact you didn't hire a lawyer probably helped you out a lot too. Being all lawyers take an oath when swearing in to abide by all FEDERAL LAW. Not constitutional law. Big difference in the two laws. When you hire an attorney you wave your constitutional rights and amendments. So it's never good to hire a lawyer unless they know some good loop holes.
maximus Ilive4theking how did you form your declaration? I currently have joint but I’m going back for my 5 year old. Mother’s life is a wreck and I’ve got to get her out of the situation.
Carlos the courts are a terrible place to solve family problems. I think the best we can do is stick to our principles and come through on the other side with our integrity still intact. Thanks for watching! DrPaul
Carlos Martinez good luck, and get a lawyer cause I lost badly with a good case with documentation behind it, also don’t talk about anything to anyone other than the judge. Everyone other than your lawyer is out to get you
What do we do when the spouse really is narciccistic and lies really really well. That scares me most. He is brilliant and can twist things so well that i dont even know what to do... Im left shaking and unsure how to prove that im being fully honest. :(
C LS, stick to your principles. Sometimes we have to accept that our job is not so much to "prove" that we are fully honest, as much as it is to "be" fully honest. We live with integrity despite what others may think or how they may characterize us. Best wishes to you! DrPaul
I think people get so caught up in how mad they are or how much they hate the other person now that they aren’t together, they don’t even think about what’s best for the children only how they can hurt each other.
Ryan Worthington, I have seen some instances where I thought the same. Such an emotionally charged situation, it can turn the nicest man or woman into a different creature while they are going through the process.
Live On Purpose TV I have children with two mothers and mom 1 didn’t start taking me to court until two years after splitting up because I was with mom 2 and she got pregnant. She took me to court 5 times to modify the custody agreement, each time over the pettiest of things and within 3 months of the last agreement we made in court she actually started asking me to take the children more often until she actually let them come live with me because of her work schedule and they wanted to spend the time with me and not a babysitter. The whole time going to court she tried to say how terrible I was and I just went in there calmly everytime and talked straight to the judge and did everything that was asked of me and in the end not fighting worked out for me.
When my husband and I divorced ( and it wasn’t a pleasant separation) I’m so grateful that regardless of how much either of us were hurting we put the love we had for our children, first. We were not going to allow a court to decide how much either one of us would see our own children. We did have a schedule, but it was flexible. There was never a “ no, you can’t go with dad today, it’s not his day” BS. We used a mediator, not a court and I wish more people had that option or went with that as a solution. Our boys are grown now and have thanked us up and down for managing things as we did. Now that we have grandchildren, I’m so thankful we can attend family gatherings together ( I’m remarried) and our kids and grandkids don’t have the uncomfortable task of having two events and can enjoy their entire family.
I wish I could do it, My ex just does anything to harm me. I changed a job 4 times already and it is very hard to go back to the tract and getting a job again.
Your video really helped i felt like ending my life because without my son there is no life and i saw no hope from any side no matter what my family said it didnt make a difference i really thought i wouldnt see him again but your video and your advice has given me a new look and motivation to go a fight for him. Thank you! You dont know this or might not read it but you saved my life and my family alot of pain
Jesse Ruiz, thank you for letting me know. There is always hope, I truly believe that. Sometimes what we are hoping for doesn't happen in the moment we want, but we get what we need. Thank you for being a part of our community. I look forward to hearing more from you.
Don't give up beautiful!! My ex is a narcissist child abuser , he won custody with lies and then took off to Arizona with our child . It's been 5yrs!! I found them and we go to court Jan 29th!! My faith is bigger then the devil!! #Justice4Justice
This is great advice! I have heard so many horror stories about disastrous divorces. My ex and I consulted an expert on how to prepare our children for the breakup. We also used third-party mediation, and that made a HUGE difference. We saved money, and we remained civil. Too often lawyers tell their clients not to talk with their spouses or do any negotiation on their own. I think that is a huge mistake to cut off our conversation and communication. Attorneys look on a divorce as a battle to be won rather than a puzzle to be solved. My ex and I still argue about stuff, but we don't FIGHT about it. We also try to remain flexible with respect to vacation and family gatherings. And, we put the well-being of our children first.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV I think it also helped that we divorced before we hated each other. But, mediation helped us remain focused and civil. Many times I thought the mediator was biased in favor of my ex-wife, but she thought he was biased in MY favor so I think that means he was doing his job correctly.
I'm losing hope. I just need my son to know he has a great mother who cares about his well being. I don't want him to grow up thinking he only had one parent. He has Two loving parents. They're hiding my baby 😞.
Your comment is so sad, Londy Yyy. Write letters to your son that hopefully he will be able to see one day. It could help you in the meantime as you do what you can to find your son.
me too I just need my son I'm really scared of his well-being he's only ten miles away from me he's only eleven I have freaking done everything I've had show me lawyers it's unreal in the people have been paid off and s*** judges lawyers everything
I’m currently going through the same thing. My boyfriend took my son and we’re not married. Cops said he is able do that but because he’s the father but the law says unless we’re married, I have sole custody. I just want my 9 month old son back home with his mommy.
You responded with words of support to a comment I left a while back about a high conflict custody case. I want to let you know, I won my case.... at lease the closest thing to winning one can have. Your videos helped me remove my own selfish agendas from the case and only focus on my child. If it was good for my child, it was good for me I thought to myself.....personal issues with the ex I left off the table and never went down that road....she did....and just like you said.. it wasn't a good look. Your videos are invaluable to help those avoid destructive and non-constructive behaviors going through their cases. Your perspectives are worth so much more than money can buy. All people have to do is listen. Thank you.
this was very awesome. I'm going through something similar to this and it feels good to hear these words. I'm glad I didn't do mentally some of the things I was beating myself up for. It's so crazy how manipulative people can get with this. And I was just saying the other day it seems like it has nothing to do with the child it's just about greedy people trying to get leverage or power over someone else that they're no longer with. Thank you so much for sharing this
I am a grandmother of 2 special needs children who are currently with The Child Protection Agency ... I am going to court soon on behalf of these special children who cannot speak for themselves...as of yet, therefore, I will be speaking on their behalf and representing myself in this final court hearing for custody of my grandchildren ... I just turned 63 and am hoping this will not be a deterrent for me on this issue .. but I do have a criminal record (only one charge ..drug related by the time I was 56 in my whole life) ..I pray that this is not a predictor of the outcome for the sake of my beautiful grand babies, with whom I have a very special bond and love for ...thanks for the video ...so good to hear "unbiased" advice from you ...thank you for opening my eyes to some very important rules of the court room !
Wow reading these comments makes me sad, this world is truly selfish. My partner hasn't the right to see my child? And how about the rights and feelings of the child, does anybody care about that? Does he have the right to see his/her father/mother?
I wish more people would stop, get out of their own selfish way, and realize as you so skillfully pointed out that our adult choices affect our kids - sometimes in a very profound and life-altering way. Thank you for being a conscious parent! DrPaul
If by "partner" you mean non-biological step-parent (married or not), then no - the partner has no right to see the child. Only biological or adopted parents have "natural legal rights" to see the children, and vice versa. Others (grandparents and other significant adults) may be able to obtain a court-order to establish some derivative rights for visitation. The specifics of each case greatly influence the possibilities. "Best interest of the child(ren)" is a legally-defined term, not a common sense term - and certainly not a child's perspective term (although there is typically an attempt to take the child's perspective into account).
Agreed. Their focusing on their feelings. What’s best for all children is to have both parents in their life (given they are good parents). The Bible says to settle outside of court for a reason.
In a battle for my children right now an I’ve been hearing so many things it you both cleared a lot of my misunderstandings thanks and this is so tough but I’m just trying todo what’s right for the kids and thanks again
You are welcome, Justin Bates. I'm honored to have you at the channel. We have more on our child custody playlist: ua-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPBhTE4dbqLMBrRk8Uop0jgd.html. Best wishes to you and your children.
It also depends on the judge. I know of a case where the father calculated his child support based on the New York guide lines and paid it every two weeks without an order. He recalculated it every year. I convinced him to stop paying in cash and to pay by check and write "child support" in the memo line. This worked fine for years until the mother applied for welfare. When she applied she lied and said she never got one cent in child support. When she went to court she claimed again, she had not received any money. The father had a box of cancelled checks proving he had been paying child support for years. What did the judge do? She recalculated the child support and said the father was delinquent and owed 18 dollars. The mother lied to welfare, lied to the court, and she had no consequence. This was a small county and this judge was known to be completely unfair to fathers in custody, child support cases.
This is so unfortunate. I wish people were honest, and that the judicial system was better/fairer. But imperfection is all we have to work with. Best wishes to your friend, Sassie Troy. Thanks for watching Live On Purpose TV.
When a parent says "my child is not safe over there" it is valid more often then not. Nothing to do with pride. Courts are behind the times when it comes to protecting children. Too often it's about working the calander/managing the case and not what is the best interest of the child.
Thank you for commenting, Road Wonder. I believe we all wish the judicial system was better. The best interest of our children is in the best interest of our future.
I’ve known too many women lie by claiming their ex is abusive when he isn’t. Keeping a child from its father IS abuse and IS leading the child to feel unsafe in the world.
? what..... everything you have said my ex has done and I have gone through the FULL canadian court process including a full 5 day trial after 3 years. And nothing happened to the other parent and I am still being denied access. Despite a final order granting me regular parenting time and 6 weeks vacation time.
Wow! I am not an attorney or licensed and familiar with Canadian Court. What does your attorney say? Can the other party be found in contempt for not following the order? Continue to reach out.
Thank you for your advice, and dedication to helping people.. My kids father has not tried to see his kids in over 3 yrs and all of a sudden when child support is enforced he has filed for custody. I can't afford an attorney because I am unemployed and and providing full support of our kids. It seems like his attorney gets heard and gets what he asks for in court, and I am getting ignored when I try to speak up for the children. How is it ok for the father to abandon the kids for 3yrs causing mental abuse and still be considered custody? I know you said they have heard it all so many times but if I don't speak up the kids may suffer more. When he abandons them it is too painful on them and I have to step in, like everything isn't already hard enough being a single parent.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you, I do find myself getting very emotional when I present this information, so your advice will go a long way. I will remember to keep my emotions in check. Thank you so much for your response!!!
I feel better after watching your channel my daughter mom moved out of state with my kid without notifying me or telling me due to a problem she was having with her family so she say but I have joint legal and physical custody over my kid I’ll go to court on next week to try to get custody because she refuses to bring my kid back or let me pick her up
My grandkids are in foster care and have been since last July. They have a GAL that has only met them once and claimed my daughter has traumatized them. My daughter has a UA-cam account that shows that’s an absolute lie. They’ve done absolutely nothing toward reunification and her lawyers keep refusing to take it in front of the court. Now they’re asking her to do things that they know are absolutely impossible for her to do. Please someone help her. We can’t afford a lawyer to help us 12:02
@@LiveOnPurposeTV I refuse to believe the what if! Satan has control over these people but, God has the final say! If he can resurrect Lazarus from the dead, cast demons from a man that had a legion of demons, cause the lame to walk, cause the deaf to hear and heal a paralyzed to walk? He can change this situation in a blink of a eye so, I rebuke the devil
How can we stop the other parent from filing for emergency custody/full custody shortly after each custody battle? Shouldn’t this be a red flag to the courts? How can this continue?
If the laws of your state allow the filings, there is little you can do. Talk to someone who is knowledgeable with the laws of your state and see if there is something you can do. Thank you for watching.
There is nothing you can do except spend 100's of 1000's to prove your innocence all for nothing in the end even when you are proven innocent...........family court is a billion dollar industry. The court cares about you personally the same way Mcdonalds cares about your health.
Exactly! I'm still fighting for my son but not my daughter I have my daughter so explain that one! It's b******* export a order on f****** b******* allegations and the judge that signed it recused himself so you explain to me how it's even legal that it still happening
How does one proceed with rectifying major issues of: One parent withholding the child from the other, cuts visits short of they get angry, refuses to discuss any visitation schedule, or doesnt involve the other parent on virtually every issue concerning the childs day to day life - medical decisions, religious views, daycare options, who the child is with, etc etc... And there is NO court order or agreement in place except for the verbal one btwn the parents that the other keeps changing and not abiding by? How do you go about such a situation?
Therein lies the challenge Denise - even WITH a court order, there are so many what I call "unenforceable rules" that come up in a divorce situation. I think our best hope is to always stick to our principles. That's something we can always control, and at the end of the day we get to maintain our own integrity regardless of what others might do. Thanks for watching! DrPaul
Live On Purpose TV I think my explanation on my situation was misunderstood. There isnt a court order of any kind. When we split up, we later talked about how it would go/how we were going to handle co-parenting so to speak. I believe now that it was just a tactic he used to keep me from taking him to court over custody. He tells me what I want to hear in order to maintain the upperhand on when, where, and how long my time with our Son is at all times. Is there any suggestion you can offer or any direction you can suggest I look into in hopes to prevent/reduce our child from being affected by our separation ??
Denise Farley Hi, we are in a very similar situation. Sadly. I have little faith that these dudes will gets back to you. They are in it for $$. Again, sadly. I can chat with you 👍 You on Facebook? Im Jesse Hansell
Denise Farley please go to my channel, I talk about how to deal with and fight for your Constitutional Rights to the Care and Custody of your Children. An attorney will waive your Rights without you even realizing it's happening. Don't become a victim.
The principles are around what we can personally do regardless of how other people act or treat us. Stick to the principles and you can come through this whole thing with integrity - no matter what he does. DrPaul
The question states the child in affected in the mental abuse.. staying in principle does what in aiding the child in a positive manner as to not be affected from the abuse to other parent?? My child has been subjected to this situation for years. I have been without an attorney for 6 yrs. Other parent bullies every situation in opposition. Please help. You are appreciated thank you.
Doctor Paul, I would appreciate it if you can consider the following two topics for future videos: how to discipline kids without getting in trouble with the authorities and how to encourage kids to take risks but keep them safe at the same time. Thank you in advance. I am more than blessed that I found your channel.
You're welcome Mirrorwarrior - just today I wrote a letter for a good friend who is involved in a custody battle. The court is a terrible place for solving family problems. Hoping we can all get back to true principles! DrPaul
My children's father and I have a child custody agreement that has been in place for about two years now. In that time, he has never kept our children overnight during his time with them-they have gone to his parent's home every other weekend ever since the agreement was in place. He was also granted Wednesdays from 6p to 7a the following morning when he would take them to daycare. He has never taken this opportunity a single time. Instead, they go to his parents from late afternoon until about 730pm when they are returned home to me. He has been in contempt of a couple of the order from the start but I've wanted to give him the chance to realize what is important in life and see how his relationship with our children progressed. However he is rarely in attendance for doctors visits and has yet to even step inside of my children's daycare center ever since they've been enrolled (2 1/2 years now.) He has struggled with substance abuse on and off over the past couple of years and has now been arrested with significant charges, ie felony possession of a gun by felon (11 guns seized) along with felony possession of stolen goods, maintaining veh/dwelling/place, PWIMSD SCH VI CS, and a couple misdemeanor drug charges as well. Given the nature of the crimes and what may transpire should he cooperate and name names, I am beyond anxious and concerned about the safety of my children and myself. They are placed in danger. I have the opportunity to relocate in another state with my partner whom of which I have an extremely healthy and stable relationship with & plan to marry. It would be in the best interest of my children for a laundry list of legitimate reasons, safety being my largest concern. How would I go about modifying an agreement should he be imprisoned before I attempt to do so? He wouldn't be able to pay child support any longer, nor maintain the agreement and nor would I should I move...but also cannot with him in jail. He also may not end up in jail, you never know. Also, what things would the court likely want to know about where the children would be living should we relocate (being that we would be moving in with my significant other, etc.)? I'm consulting with my prior attorney soon, but he told me that he "couldn't let that happen" earlier this evening and plans to fight my wish to relocate and I'm spinning on where to start preparing for this. Any response would likely help! I appreciate your video and time!
I cannot advise on the laws in your state since I am not your attorney and I don't know them. Keep calm, just because your ex said he would fight, doesn't mean he will. Be very clear on what you have control over and work on those things. Be there for your children and provide the best environment for them, (things you can control.)
So what do I do when my ex-wife has alienated the kids from me ? And it’s been 1 month since I have spoke to them. How do I continue child support when we aren’t communicating?
j nolasco, I am not sure if you are talking financially or emotionally. You have a financial obligation to support your child. The situation may be temporary. Try sending them cards or texts or emails letting them know you are thinking of them and open to talk. It may take a while for them to respond. Don't give up.
It's frustrating that my ex continues to be upset after taking our daughter because she personally was not happy and even more bitter that me and my daughter grew very close. I haven't heard from them in 2 months and they are in a different state, no idea where. What's more frustrating is that during all that time I wasn't taking care of all my responsibilities and it made the situation all the worse. I realize how my mistake hurt us. I hope we can find a way to work together like we once did when separated. It was the happiest our daughter ever was.
QUESTION HERE: My wife and I just separated few months ago,. and after a month or two, i was just wondering why my daughter keeps telling me Im a liar, and dont want to talk to me anymore and in times i tried to met them she dont want to come near me. she's 7year old now. How do i know if they are brainwashing my daughter?
@Jay- its already happening. the right thing, which is also the hardest thing, is to continue to make contact and don't engage in the fight with her and tell her if she ever has any questions about you that she should talk to you. This is going to be a long haul. prepare yourself. watch video "finding pluto".
What do you do when the other parent as a step parent allows the child and enables your child to talk bad about you on social media ?? How do you bring that up in court and how do you go about it ??
My case of custodial interference was so bad that I was told the Custody Evaluator, Reunification Therapist, and the Judge had never seen anything quite like it before in terms of severity. It took over 4 years in my case and I will admit that 50/50 custody at the end (after almost none for years) was a bit of a shock not only to me but seasoned professionals as well, given my ex's verifiable behavior. BUT. HERE'S THE THING. All of these things are still helpful. Don't try to control things you cannot control. (Like the judges, your ex, evaluators.) Control your own behavior. PUT YOUR KIDS FIRST! I also know this judge dealt with more than one case of parental kidnapping and my ex's lawyer showed herself to be really aggressive, to the point an appellate court slapped them on the wrist and as seasoned family attorney believes several of the things that were done are potentially sanctionable. Best interest of the child also includes not potentially being kidnapped or worse. Is it a perfect system? Not by a long shot. But I am among many people actively involved in improving things. I believe the arrangement I have is much better than I might have gotten even 10 years ago. I stand on the shoulders of those who were strong enough to get involved with change and listen to common sense tips like this as a foundation.
The process for getting custody when the child resides out-of-state. Finding a lawyer and good consultation along with what documents or info will be needed.
I would like to give a big Thanks for your Beautiful video clips i am sure that it would be a big help we re going thru this right now with our case of my grand daughter i will take your advice i am sure it will be a great help for us
Hi Sid, Hi Dr Paul. Thank you for helping us. If anyone feels led, please pray for myboyfriend to get fair amount of custody without needing to be supervised
Thank you guys for the video! It has given me a better insight for how I can regain sole custody of my child. Can you guys do a more in depth video on custody situations like this but involving a relative that has the child instead of the other parent?
Thank you this is great help. I really think mom and dad have the same rights. My daughter is just happy every time she visit her father. He is such a great father. I would never take my daughter away from her father she deserves having a mommy and a daddy even if we're not together she deserves it all.
ines millan l wish l was in your situation. My ex can’t make any decision himself. He only does what the evil woman he has as a mother tells him what to do
My second question is, if I’m not married can the father of the child call the police on me for taking our child out to the park or to the movies or to see family/friends or to go anywhere. I understand I can’t leave the state or the country. But I’m not far and just missed a few calls. Can he call the cops on me?
Can ya'll do a video on grandparent intervention in child custody cases. I ask this because I am a grandparent doing this now or rather trying to, we raised our granddaughter for 41/2 yrs and the father had nothing to do with her not a phone call not a Christmas card nothing he lies to the court his lawyer n gets emergency custody its a big mess that an 8 year is having to deal with he had absolutely isolated her from everything she has known in the past 4 years its been 102 days n still the judge has not heard my motion to intervene help any info please
I've recently filed for custody of my oldest daughter. I went through a rough time about 6 years ago and my mother was granted custody. She was fairly liberal with visitation, until i got engaged. Mind you, I've been sober and doing really well for 4+ years. She's 3 other sisters at home with me. My mom, I feel, is using my daughter more to power trip and refuses to treat her other granddaughters as such(which breaks their hearts). I really didn't want it to come to this, because I am very grateful for her doing what she's done in taking her in but it seems now that unless I bend over backwards to her every demand, I don't see her and neither do her sisters. *Have you worked on any cases such as this? Unfortunately, it seems to be getting worse more than better but we just miss our Madison.. Yes, I've made mistakes and paid dearly for them but is there hope??
Sarah Abate, try to view the situation from your mother's viewpoint. She may feel that she is losing someone that has become very precious to her. See if you can talk to her about her feelings and express gratitude for her. Let her know what role she will play in your daughter's life when she comes back to you. Hope this helps.
I’d love to hear more of your advice ...especially when the police chief is your husband’s cousin, and the judge is his golf partner. I maybe no one special, but I’m confident that I can tell you a horror story you’ve never come across.
You sound like me, my ex father was an officer, so he’s cool with the chief, the damn judge used to be his attorney for several years even recused himself and still made a decision on my emergency custody….remind you I have a restraining order on my ex for attacking me while holding out son and did I mention he has 3 open felony cases and restraining order violations and walking around free and dictating if I can move for me and my childrens safety I hate it here!!
What do we do if the spouse (mother) disappeared with the children (to be with boyfriend) and has refused to communicate, while restricting all means of communicating with the children by removing online devices and cell phones. And coercing the oldest child with rewards for defiant behavior towards the father, and getting that child to message the father randomly with odd questions and insinuations that the father deserves to be forced out of all the children's lives for almost 3 years. No divorce or custody order in place.
Eternity Seven, I hear this often. It is parental alienation and it is wrong. It is unfortunate that it takes so long, but the kids generally figure out as they get older what has happened. Document and get legal advice from someone who knows the laws of your state.
you hit the nail on the head with the cell phones and the games played where if the child/Teen doesn't get her/his way.........Hey Mom, Dad's being MEAN. Come get me. And she does. Then the mom tells the court the child is not comfortable at Dad's house because he's cooking something for dinner that the child does not want. But does the mom say that's the problem? No, she just says the child is "uncomfortable" and the judge says ok then. The father is a threat to the child. This goes on in MA courts, I never believed it until I saw it. How can the father get vindicated? He needs so much help up against the wall of coached children who's mother undermines all authority and uses visitation as a tool to torture him.
Hang in there and stick to your principles, then you can come through this with your integrity intact no matter what happens on the other side of things. Look through the Positive Parenting playlist for some more ideas. I think you would also love the Parenting Power-up Audio Course that my wife Vicki and I just recorded. Get a free pre-listen here: parentingpowerup.com DrPaul
One of my friends is right now proving that her ex lied about any allegations about her it’s been a year and this is the first time she is being heard with mountains of evidence hoping for the best
I’ve been fighting for my daughter and lost to and 80/20 split. My ex decided to take my daughter to a therapist to talk about her issues. My daughter said her mom was in the meetings initiating the talks on how bad dad is. She took the report to court because the therapist said I was verbally abusive for scolding her about grades punctuality and not helping around the house. When we went to the mediator the mediator says to us as we walk in. I know how this is my dad was strict with me when I was growing up. So the mediator sided with moms complaints. Mom persists on making my daughter feel guilty about going 50/50 again because she says “ I fought for you” so now my daughter feels bad.
Regardless of what split you have, your child needs to know that you are there for her, no matter what. Thank you for watching the video. I hope you can have a close relationship with her.
Hello Paul. Surprisingly that is my name as well. haha. I found your video one day on UA-cam and I was not looking for it. I just took a chance at watching and it was comforting and informative during this custody battle I am going through now. From what I hear this is the worst time to be involved due to COVID which has slowed down the court system. I have been at tears in the last few months because the court is taking so long to get a custody order in place. My ex is what one considers a vexatious litigant. She repeatedly files for a TRO and is trying to get full custody of our daughter. These filings are unwarranted and unnecessary. I have never hurt this woman, nor have I threatened her. She includes our daughter in the TRO and the judge has been granting the TRO to get to a hearing. The first two were terminated and the next was denied by the Judge. Now she has filed again, keeping me from seeing my daughter. I know inside and out I am a wonderful father as others can validate that as well. How am I going to co-parent with a parent with a vengence? Your video on co parenting suggest parents keep the two worlds but this woman is claiming I can't take care of a child because I don't follow her schedule. I am beat down and tired. I have troubles getting an attorney because they are so expensive, but because I do work I don't qualify for free legal help. This woman is the typical claw you to death type of woman. She won't stop until I am completely out of her life and our daughters. What can I do?
Gambit 21, I am not sure. The problems you talk about are all too often ones we hear with people going through a divorce. Both parents need to have the child's best interest at heart and when they don't, this kind of thing happens. I am so sorry. Work on what you control and if you ever see your child, let her know you love her and will always be there for her.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Don't you think its illegal to alienate a parent from their child? You speak of this in one of your video's. Look if you have even a fraction of time 30 mins to dissolve what is happening with my child that would mean the world to me. My daughter doesn't deserve this. I was looking over pictures tonight I'm separating for DCSS and the memories it brings back.. This girl had such an unfair start of her life. I gonna swear here. .. My piece of shit Ex caused all of this. I want my daughter to have a fair chance at a regular childhood. Hope to talk to you.
These guys are making valid points. My son went through a custody battle for his son, the whole time he focused on what was best for his son. In the end he got sole physical and legal custody and the judge commended him for his focus on the child and not his ex-wife.
My ex n i broke up when she was pregnant with our daughter. Soon after she moved a lot and I could not find her for 4 years. I had to hire a pd to find her. Now she told the judge I abandon my daughter. Can she get me for that?
Raymond, this is just another example of how things can get really crazy in these custody cases. This sounds like a question for your attorney. In the mean time, stay connected to principle and don't let the craziness pull you out of integrity. Best wishes! DrPaul
Not enough info to give you a Utah-oriented legal opinion. Based upon what you stated, the answer should be no, unless you were more complicit in the non-contact than you allude to.
Hey Rocketman, my ex did the same thing to me. They both just vanished without a trace. A co-worker of mine, told me that my daughter is in the same class as his kids. I went to the school to find out what was going on, they wouldn't let me see her, because the moms boyfriend at the time was listed as my daughters father. The next day I was served a RO by the police on the grounds that I was stalking my daughter by going to her school. That was the beginning of the nightmare that robbed me of my daughters childhood.
So its going for now 4 and a half yrs that i havent seen my son. long story short , my ex wife made me sign a paper where i gave her full soul custody . I was not aware n was forced and rushed to sign this papers at the time we were divorcing in there. we saw the judge and judge said its on her if i want to see my son. she has not been a nice person at all this whole time. please how can i get my son back . At least for visitation rights.PLEASE HELP
Syrak Mza, I assume that you have been paying for support, I would get an attorney and have the visitation reworked so that the visits are mandated by the court.
Can you make a video of when one parent uses the law to gain advantage for child custody, like a temporary restraining order filled with false allegations? How does that work in a child custody evaluation?
Nobody ever talks about how to get past when this is happening to a parent. When one side is vitriolic and the other tries to constantly think of best interest statutes? What are the tips or tricks to cope with the in between phase of court and evaluations? it is very hard to be involved in a court case for child modification and continue to endure timeshare denial or gatekeeping behavior. Can you maybe to something on this?
Joshua, thank you for the topic idea. I will see what we can do. Think long term and how you want to be remembered through all of this. It is so difficult.
Annie Lin, I am not sure who you are needing to get this information to. I guess, keep a record and let your attorney know, they will know how to use the information.
What happens when you are dealing with a father who hits his kids including a 3 yo? Police report filed, CPS declined to investigate so i took the kids ans left ....And he is refusing to cooperate with attorney's suggestion for supervised visits atleast until the court date? I have offered him several scenarios to see them....he refuses unsupervised visits so he would rather wait the month until court .....
daphne zavala, this sounds like a difficult situation and I am sincerely sorry that you and your children are in the middle of it. Unfortunately I cannot give specific legal advice. However, I do have more videos on child custody. If you are interested in those, here is the playlist: ua-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPBhTE4dbqLMBrRk8Uop0jgd.html
Thank you for the help! It's scary going into court alone and your tips made me feel a little more confident. Do you have any tips for representing yourself when the other side has a lawyer? It is pretty intimidating knowing the other side has much more knowledge and experience about the procedures and laws when you are just starting to learn about all of it. I really appreciate your help!
Me 3 😢 but mine is my mother has my 14 year old and has decided she wants to keep him and has been filling his head with lies and coaching him. I have had addiction issues in the past but they're using it against me now. I have 3 younger kids and now I'm just in defense mode trying not to loose them.
I haven't even been able to get started on the custody case with my ex. We weren't married but we still have a daughter together. I don't know where my daughter and her mother are located, paying just about all my money on child support, and about to have to drop my lawyer due to costs. I have to live with my mother to make ends meet. I work full time as well but the hours vary depending on workload. I only got to see our daughter twice throughout the 20 months of her life.
How do you win a child custody battle if the reason the child likes the other parent more is because they are more lenient and give them more freedom so the child gravitates towards that?
Yea my ex is best friends with our sons and let's them do whatever they want. Even to smoke those medical pens and other blunts. So I'm labeled as the boring , no fun guy parent. Because I want them to be responsible and be successful... She is a narcissist and is using my boys to be on her level of a ignorance..🤪
I have a question. My case is very messy. And the mother told cps and the courts I abused my kids. Which is not true. But I request a 730 that I am paying for it to tell the truth and get everything out. Now the mother try to back out of the 730. Since she agreed to something she has no clue about. And the judge approve it. Dose that look bad on me because I requested it?
So I have question. What if the husband has a severe brain injury and cannot take care of child alone but is allowed to drive tractors on a farm and his parents want to take over his rights? And become the new father essentially. Even though they were seeing the child before but sy the child went home every night and spent some nights over at the grandparents in order to see her father.
Victoria Purvis, I am not sure about this. I don't have all the facts. Grandparents can be wonderful influence on children, I know mine were. Remember you want to do what is best for the child and if that is seeing and knowing their father with the grandparents there then that would be best.
My ex took an accidental scratch while i was cleaning during an argument about me wanting him to leave the house and said i purposefully attacked him, got me put in jail, then placed a restraining and a no contact order on me yet he doesn't live here. So, although in the past we would co-parent, the restraining/ no contact order hindered any and all visits until the order was lifted. During this time, he seemed to have forgotten that he placed the order then violated it multiple times. For my freedom and safety, the kids didn't go because i wasn't allowed to be near him, his family, and their residence. He moved back with his mom. Now during this time he spoke with them via phone, but insulted me so many times that they refuse to even talk on the phone. Kids are 14 and 10. I keep telling them to speak to him they say no. They don't feel like they did when he was here and are actually scared to see vehicles that are like his. He states that I did all of this to them and has not paid any child support. Instead wants me to pay him. I'm scared that he will harm my kids emotionally. With all this, in Texas how old does a child have to be in order to not be forced by the court to visit the non-custodial parent.
I'm not in a custody battle, but my fiance is and I'm trying to be as supportive as possible because his ex wife is trying every way possible to take more time away from him. She is "disabled" yet goes on many trips that would deem her not disabled but anyways, she is very manipulative and will say anything to get her way and even so she goes to court with a walker and literally doesn't use one at any other time. I just wish it was a perfect world and they could both get 50/50 custody. He's an amazing father and I'm not bashing her one but, she is a good mom! She just makes things more about herself by trying to tale more and more time so she can feel like a winner. It's sad...I wish that things were better. Rant over
Appreciate the rant Keira - thanks for watching and for thinking. You might find some helpful stuff in our Positive Relationships playlist here on the channel. Honored to be on your team! DrPaul
Keira Kagay please tell him to make a Constitutional argument under the 1st Amendment of the RIGHT to the care and CUSTODY of the child, it is an adjudicated FACT, look up the Supreme Court rulings. If he listens to an attorney he will get screwed. The statistics PROVE IT. also, tell him NOT TO CONSENT to child support, it is fraud and a violation of his rights. I'm not saying not to support the kids, I'm saying the government or a 3rd party debt collector has no right to make you pay.
Please go to my channel and learn how to properly fight for your Fundemental Right to the Care AND Custody of your Children. Give to Rick W channel if you are having problems with Child Support. He has a GREAT CHANNEL and is helping fathers fight the fraud the court commits on you.
Help. In California. Fled texas due to domestic violence and now reside with family here. Both states have cases open and going. There are criminal charges pending here in ca. How can I follow conflicting orders between the states
Hello, I couldn't help but notice this video. You gave some amazing pointers and some of which I am currently correcting to a refined state. I have to ask. In a situation where you were the care taker of the child and due to constant physical altercation, you move.. could the courts deem that as abandonment even if you have physical evidence of calls and outreach? She has sole custody and i would like to take her back to court to solidify some time with my son.. it's been a year and a half and I've only gotten to see him for one week with her around . Is there a way I could have a court order so that she could not be there?
Dennis Whitaker, it is difficult to speak to that issue since I am not an attorney and I do not know the laws of your state. Hopefully you can find someone to help you navigate the laws in your state and be able to spend more time with your son.
Can a judge decide that you can not see ( visit) your child alone, but only with someone from the other parent's family? Can a judge also decide that you are not allowed to give the child any religious teaching ( advice, prayer, story, wisdom, song, book , movie , picture, etc , not even related )? Even if the judge don't decide so, the parent who win the custody still can turn the child against the other parent beliefs and teachings so the kid will get to not be so willing to see him/her or to take anything into consideration ( even if he wants to, he/she will be afraid that the other parent the one who has custody will give him or her a hard time if he or she comes home with some of his other parent ideas)
SERIOUS QUESTION: so what happens when the father of my child took her from me after she lived with me her whole life(my daughter), went over state lines and cut off ALL COMMUNICATION for 1 year, evaded all of my efforts to have him served, finally served me and we started court... The judge did not look at any of my documents, he assaulted me and my roommate at the time, he even had a warrant in the state I live... The judge ordered us JOINT CUSTODY and allowed her to live with him.... Then she almost lost her life and was in the hospital, and him and his family and the doctors treated me as if I had NO RIGHT to receive phone calls from doctors/nurses and openly stated that he had FULL CUSTODY to all of the hospital staff... It's already been almost 5 years since the start of when he assaulted me and took our daughter. So PLEASE WHAT CAN I DO!?? I also have an older child she lived with all her life and was kept away from also, the trauma has been damaging to us all... he is more financially stable and capable then I am however... Also since she has healed from her surgery, I was NOT ALLOWED to start the court ordered weekend visitation... Also the quarentine due to covid has kept me away from seeing her... Please HELP!!!!
Lady JoJo, I feel for your situation. This is a legal issue and needs to be worked out there since your ex doesn't want to be reasonable and work with you. I am sorry, you need to figure out what you control and what you don't. I hope you see your daughter again soon.
Black Rain6ft5, I have no experience in GA. First, talk to whoever has custody of your son and see what you can do, then get with parent organizations that might be available to help you. Look up dad's and custody in your area.
Just because you being nice or playing nice dont get anywhere! It all depends on the state and judge ..i been fighting for year's and aint got no where ..allow dad to dictate the visit..if its up to him i wouldn't never get my kids regularly..and because I've set back and did nothing but went to the courts only for the judge to say keep working together🤦 I've given up because idk what else to do
I am sorry to hear this. Even if the court battle has become too much, let the message be sent to your kids that you will always be there for them when they want to come to you.
My issue is I've never been married and my kid's mom doesn't want me to see nor have my kid at all for any reason and I've never done anything for her to be acting like that. I'm in ohio and it's a mom state even if they're on hard drugs. The system here is the worst in the world. I'm worried the judge will be a woman and we know how that goes(never fair) plus her family knows everyone in that little town.
I have a question- Been married for 6yrs, 2 kids, we live with my parents, and I want out of the marriage. Im a housewife without income-YET. We own no property. The father is a fulltime paramedic. How would custody even 'go'? And If I wanted to move out of state with my children (with knowledge to the father and permission) Is it even legal if I was granted full custody? I know, one step at a time but this video made me genuinely curious.🤔
AprilMayJane, parents move all the time. Just be in compliance with the court. Sometimes permission needs to be granted. Think about where your support system is as it will be more needed than ever if you leave and file.
So hard to be nice when my sons' father is trash talking about me infront of our son and myself. I'm pretty sure my tongue is shorter and my blood pressure is higher.
Jamela Sullivan, check out some of the videos on the playlist. Try to ignore or gently remind the child that we don't do that without focusing on the father.
What about the one parent harass the other parent while droping off the baby from the one parent house? The one parent doesnt say anything but just stay quiet
Sometimes being quiet is the answer. Sounds like the other person is looking for a reaction to maybe use against them. Remember, the child is the important one in the relationship. Try journaling to work out the thoughts you wanted to say or when it is happening, think to yourself, this amuses me. Let me know how it goes, Gabriela Gamero.
With all the advice taken on board… what about the other issues such as sharing the same bed with dad, the daughter starting her period, the father becoming angry and my daughter spending all custody’s days with other family members.
Hello, my custody agreement, I have to have approval from my ex to take the kiddo to church. She refuses to agree to me taking him, and I would like to get him baptized. She will not agree to it and keeps saying we will talk about it later... Any advice here?
If that is written in the custody agreement then you need to abide by the agreement. You can always go back to court to get it changed but in the meantime, it was agreed and you wouldn't want your ex to decide to not abide by something else in the agreement. You can continue talking to him and have the child express their wishes. Hang in there, we don't know the timetable, Jason Frank.
Some parents follow the rule of the court.the kid is truly in danger, and wind up dead by the other parent, you two make it out to be a joke,some custody cases are TRULY serious!!
Hello, I was wondering what about if the mother does not support the child financially. I have other issues like her not living w him, but she is stuck w making me pay her child support, which I don’t mind doing, but I feel if I am more financially stable & she has no income for the last 5 years, how does that look on my end? I can support my child & take care of him but her not supporting him as well doesn’t sit well w me
Thanks for watching, Jesse Coronado; I understand your concern and wish I could help you. However, I am unable to give specific legal advice as my expertise is in psychology. Please seek answers from a lawyer - they are more familiar with child support issues.
@April Duckworth You have to be careful what to say to a child, always be neutral in such cases because you never know if there is parental neglection going on.
What do you do when your a grand parent that's put in the middle of two bad parents. My pre teen grand kids are being sexually permiscuous and no one knows what to do about it but ignore. Suggestions of counseling is being ignored. The kids are losing all trust and respect for mom and dad because they hate each other. Always telling the kids to hold their slander comments secret but back stab each other to kids daily.
As a non custodial parent how can I control the phone interference? As a targeted parent I have been told I can not confiscate my son's phone. Dad is causing problems during my visitation time to prove in court a problems occurring during my visitation. He is encouraging 13 yr old boy to speak his mind and son is rude and very aggressive. How do control the phone hero or the interference? I do not pay for the phone. I have seem where parents are going to jail or court because of other persons property. 13 yr old child now feels entitled. The child also does not answer my calls or is rude and hangs up on me when I call him. Any help on how I can improve this?
Tomeka Baldwin, the only thing you control is your action and behavior so let that be the guiding principle. Let your son know that you don't appreciate the way he is behaving and still love him no matter what and even if. There is not a lot to do until your son has time away from the other parent and can see how different the parents were in their actions. You could try counseling, I don't know if he would go.
Hello... I go by Peanut. I just turned 13 and I want to live with my mother. My father is very intimidating, and he scares me. Though he's never hurt me, I do believe I'm going through mental abuse. I went to a Psychiatrist(think that's it.. the one that prescribes medicine) and had a breakdown the first day because I was talking about all things I'm going through at my dad's. I want to know if, since I'm 13 now, am I allowed to speak in court? If so, will my opinion matter? If I asked, could I talk privately with the judge? I'm scared that, if I go to court then because I'm intimidated by my dad, it will affect what I say there. Meaning, I won't say what I really think. Can my opinion help my mother win custody? Follow up question... I have a 10 year old little brother. He also wants to live with my mom. I love him, and I don't want to be separated from him. If my mother were to win custody over me, can I speak for my brother, too? I'm really scared and I don't have anyone I can ask about these questions.
Hi Peanut - thanks for watching! Unfortunately I can't specifically answer all of your questions here because each case is so unique and each locality has its own rules and laws. Probably the best you can do is to keep those lines of communication open with your parents. They will get caught up in their own concerns and issues, so you may not get exactly what you want, but whatever happens you can find a way to handle it. Look at the video I did here about how to convince your parents to get you a phone (ua-cam.com/video/Zpuqf9N6KhQ/v-deo.html). I know this is a totally different issue, but you will see here some powerful principles about working with your parents. Best wishes to you! DrPaul
Same thing but I’m 15 my dad is really emotionally abusive and drinks a lot, but he has a lot more money than my mom so I’m scared I’ll have to live with him
What do I do if the parent is asking for more visitation days and As the mother I’m fine with it but the only reason he does that is bc he upset I no longer want to have a relationship with him and wants to take our child from me. And wants me to be the one paying child support . But I’m the one that already pay everything for my child and not ever received help or payments for my daughters needs. Before we split she mostly lives with me . We weren’t a married couple / lived together . While we were together . Could I possibly loose primary custody . Due to working 5O hr a week . While he work less and makes less as well?
Krendy Rangel, I don't have any idea. If you are taking care of your daughter and she had responsible care while you are working, you should be ok. Talk to an attorney who knows the laws in your state.
Thanks for the info, great common sense stuff. I'm currently in a custody battle with my ex-wife and she's not allowing me to see my daughter. I've always paid child support on time. My ex-wife is a covert narcissist and up until 2 years ago my daughter never left my side. I ask the court to intervene with a psychological evaluation but they appointed me a Court appointed advisor to interview both parents and the child because I brought up emotional abuse as a major concerned. I spoke briefly with the lady she's a social worker with a master's degree in sociology. Do you think she will be able to pick up on this narcissistic behavior since it is covert and it's the hardest one to evaluate?
I certainly hope you will be allowed to see your daughter, she needs you. Keep trying and be there when the opportunity presents itself. It will one day.
Isn’t it sickening that someone who’s never met the parents of a child, knows nothing about them or their lifestyle and has never seen or talked to the child decides their fate and how much a child should see both parents?
Yes, Macafee. Thank you for watching. Hope you are staying well.
Its called having someone who is neutral and not ruled by emotion, so they can make unbiased decisions. That is the objective, does it work well in practice, currently no.
@@Ryukikon I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that these people are paid very well. So then they are ruled by money, not the best interest of the child. Drops mic
It should be 50 50 by default as the starting point. Courts are still enforcing laws from the 50s that were never updated to the modern age.
Paid by the county sure. So they have absolutely no interest in the health of the children. The kids need specialized parental alienation professionals involved. Not these worthless evaluators.
I went through a custody battle for my twin girls in so cal. Mom didn't want to give me joint custody but rather her have them and collect child support. I served her, went through mediation and then faced the judge and the judge granted me what I wanted, they were only 4 months old nd still granted me what i asked for. Soon enough she served me to reverse my rights, she lied and lied in her deceleration, our last judged past away so they assigned a different judge, again we went through mediation and faced the judge, the judge spoke to me only as she had a lawyer, ( both times) after she tried to talk the judge shut her up, yelled at her and once again I won my case. THEY are now 5 years old and I still have join custody, I don't know if it was luck, or things are changing now for men but I prayed and prayed and I believe God took part in what happend in that court room.
maximus Ilive4theking, So glad you have a positive influence on your children and you are able to be a part of their lives.
I believe it was God congrats
Congratulations. I'm trying to get custody of my son. He's 12 years old. His mother is an alcoholic.
Or it was probably the fact that in family court you're not actually dealing with a judge you're dealing with a magistrate and magistrates have no power or jurisdiction to actually make a judgment. All they know is that every parent has rights and them not giving you those rights unless you're abusive to your kids the magistrate could get into some serious trouble. The magistrate is acting under color of law. Only an actual judge can make final decisions or judgments. The fact you didn't hire a lawyer probably helped you out a lot too. Being all lawyers take an oath when swearing in to abide by all FEDERAL LAW. Not constitutional law. Big difference in the two laws. When you hire an attorney you wave your constitutional rights and amendments. So it's never good to hire a lawyer unless they know some good loop holes.
maximus Ilive4theking how did you form your declaration? I currently have joint but I’m going back for my 5 year old. Mother’s life is a wreck and I’ve got to get her out of the situation.
The fact that these guys are so jaded makes me feel like they have screwed over a lot of parents. Thanks for the insight and honesty though
What's Good, thank you for watching.
Yessss
The basic point is no one cares the judge don’t care everyone at the court don’t care so just look credible as possible.
Carlos the courts are a terrible place to solve family problems. I think the best we can do is stick to our principles and come through on the other side with our integrity still intact. Thanks for watching! DrPaul
Live On Purpose TV thanks for responding I appreciate it.
Looking credible is not going to help you. It certainly didn't help me
fathers rights unite now I’m sorry to hear that. Do you have any good advice for what to do now?
Carlos Martinez good luck, and get a lawyer cause I lost badly with a good case with documentation behind it, also don’t talk about anything to anyone other than the judge. Everyone other than your lawyer is out to get you
It must be very hard on kids and parents to go through those kind of situations I pray for all those parents and kids🙏🤲🌷
Thank you for your kindness to others during their tough moments.
Amen❤
What do we do when the spouse really is narciccistic and lies really really well. That scares me most. He is brilliant and can twist things so well that i dont even know what to do... Im left shaking and unsure how to prove that im being fully honest. :(
C LS, stick to your principles. Sometimes we have to accept that our job is not so much to "prove" that we are fully honest, as much as it is to "be" fully honest. We live with integrity despite what others may think or how they may characterize us. Best wishes to you! DrPaul
C LS learn to start keeping communication very simple, and to the point.
Same here....
C LS
Watch "How to EXPOSE the narcissist in Court and/or to Psychologist!" on UA-cam
ua-cam.com/video/N-LFevkioV4/v-deo.html
everyone lies in court
I think people get so caught up in how mad they are or how much they hate the other person now that they aren’t together, they don’t even think about what’s best for the children only how they can hurt each other.
Ryan Worthington, I have seen some instances where I thought the same. Such an emotionally charged situation, it can turn the nicest man or woman into a different creature while they are going through the process.
Live On Purpose TV I have children with two mothers and mom 1 didn’t start taking me to court until two years after splitting up because I was with mom 2 and she got pregnant. She took me to court 5 times to modify the custody agreement, each time over the pettiest of things and within 3 months of the last agreement we made in court she actually started asking me to take the children more often until she actually let them come live with me because of her work schedule and they wanted to spend the time with me and not a babysitter. The whole time going to court she tried to say how terrible I was and I just went in there calmly everytime and talked straight to the judge and did everything that was asked of me and in the end not fighting worked out for me.
When my husband and I divorced ( and it wasn’t a pleasant separation) I’m so grateful that regardless of how much either of us were hurting we put the love we had for our children, first. We were not going to allow a court to decide how much either one of us would see our own children. We did have a schedule, but it was flexible. There was never a “ no, you can’t go with dad today, it’s not his day” BS.
We used a mediator, not a court and I wish more people had that option or went with that as a solution.
Our boys are grown now and have thanked us up and down for managing things as we did. Now that we have grandchildren, I’m so thankful we can attend family gatherings together ( I’m remarried) and our kids and grandkids don’t have the uncomfortable task of having two events and can enjoy their entire family.
Marcia Horn, it can work. So glad you have this figured out and it isn't awkward for anyone. It can be done.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV oh, sometimes it can be awkward, but we get through it.
That's awesome
I wish I could do it, My ex just does anything to harm me. I changed a job 4 times already and it is very hard to go back to the tract and getting a job again.
Your video really helped i felt like ending my life because without my son there is no life and i saw no hope from any side no matter what my family said it didnt make a difference i really thought i wouldnt see him again but your video and your advice has given me a new look and motivation to go a fight for him. Thank you! You dont know this or might not read it but you saved my life and my family alot of pain
Jesse Ruiz, thank you for letting me know. There is always hope, I truly believe that. Sometimes what we are hoping for doesn't happen in the moment we want, but we get what we need. Thank you for being a part of our community. I look forward to hearing more from you.
Don't give up beautiful!! My ex is a narcissist child abuser , he won custody with lies and then took off to Arizona with our child . It's been 5yrs!! I found them and we go to court Jan 29th!! My faith is bigger then the devil!! #Justice4Justice
Did you win the case?
This is great advice! I have heard so many horror stories about disastrous divorces. My ex and I consulted an expert on how to prepare our children for the breakup. We also used third-party mediation, and that made a HUGE difference. We saved money, and we remained civil. Too often lawyers tell their clients not to talk with their spouses or do any negotiation on their own. I think that is a huge mistake to cut off our conversation and communication. Attorneys look on a divorce as a battle to be won rather than a puzzle to be solved. My ex and I still argue about stuff, but we don't FIGHT about it. We also try to remain flexible with respect to vacation and family gatherings. And, we put the well-being of our children first.
Just Me, I am so glad to hear that you and your ex have found a way to remain civil and put your children first. Thanks for sharing your experiences.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV I think it also helped that we divorced before we hated each other. But, mediation helped us remain focused and civil. Many times I thought the mediator was biased in favor of my ex-wife, but she thought he was biased in MY favor so I think that means he was doing his job correctly.
I'm losing hope. I just need my son to know he has a great mother who cares about his well being. I don't want him to grow up thinking he only had one parent. He has Two loving parents. They're hiding my baby 😞.
Your comment is so sad, Londy Yyy. Write letters to your son that hopefully he will be able to see one day. It could help you in the meantime as you do what you can to find your son.
The same is happening to me. I need help. I'm devastated.
me too I just need my son I'm really scared of his well-being he's only ten miles away from me he's only eleven I have freaking done everything I've had show me lawyers it's unreal in the people have been paid off and s*** judges lawyers everything
@@lolastone767 same here i need to get my baby back
I’m currently going through the same thing. My boyfriend took my son and we’re not married. Cops said he is able do that but because he’s the father but the law says unless we’re married, I have sole custody. I just want my 9 month old son back home with his mommy.
You responded with words of support to a comment I left a while back about a high conflict custody case. I want to let you know, I won my case.... at lease the closest thing to winning one can have. Your videos helped me remove my own selfish agendas from the case and only focus on my child. If it was good for my child, it was good for me I thought to myself.....personal issues with the ex I left off the table and never went down that road....she did....and just like you said.. it wasn't a good look. Your videos are invaluable to help those avoid destructive and non-constructive behaviors going through their cases. Your perspectives are worth so much more than money can buy. All people have to do is listen. Thank you.
J B, I am happy for you. It is so true, all we can control is ourselves, not others.
this was very awesome. I'm going through something similar to this and it feels good to hear these words. I'm glad I didn't do mentally some of the things I was beating myself up for. It's so crazy how manipulative people can get with this. And I was just saying the other day it seems like it has nothing to do with the child it's just about greedy people trying to get leverage or power over someone else that they're no longer with. Thank you so much for sharing this
Tankatomic MCCALLUM, honored to be on your team.
I am a grandmother of 2 special needs children who are currently with The Child Protection Agency ... I am going to court soon on behalf of these special children who cannot speak for themselves...as of yet, therefore, I will be speaking on their behalf and representing myself in this final court hearing for custody of my grandchildren ... I just turned 63 and am hoping this will not be a deterrent for me on this issue .. but I do have a criminal record (only one charge ..drug related by the time I was 56 in my whole life) ..I pray that this is not a predictor of the outcome for the sake of my beautiful grand babies, with whom I have a very special bond and love for ...thanks for the video ...so good to hear "unbiased" advice from you ...thank you for opening my eyes to some very important rules of the court room !
Lexi Margaret, I hope you are successful, I know of several grandparents who received custody in their 60's.
Dealing with narcissistic parents vs accommodating parents.
Green Man, yep, big difference.
Wow reading these comments makes me sad, this world is truly selfish. My partner hasn't the right to see my child? And how about the rights and feelings of the child, does anybody care about that? Does he have the right to see his/her father/mother?
I wish more people would stop, get out of their own selfish way, and realize as you so skillfully pointed out that our adult choices affect our kids - sometimes in a very profound and life-altering way. Thank you for being a conscious parent! DrPaul
If by "partner" you mean non-biological step-parent (married or not), then no - the partner has no right to see the child. Only biological or adopted parents have "natural legal rights" to see the children, and vice versa. Others (grandparents and other significant adults) may be able to obtain a court-order to establish some derivative rights for visitation. The specifics of each case greatly influence the possibilities. "Best interest of the child(ren)" is a legally-defined term, not a common sense term - and certainly not a child's perspective term (although there is typically an attempt to take the child's perspective into account).
Agreed. Their focusing on their feelings. What’s best for all children is to have both parents in their life (given they are good parents). The Bible says to settle outside of court for a reason.
In a battle for my children right now an I’ve been hearing so many things it you both cleared a lot of my misunderstandings thanks and this is so tough but I’m just trying todo what’s right for the kids and thanks again
You are welcome, Justin Bates. I'm honored to have you at the channel. We have more on our child custody playlist: ua-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPBhTE4dbqLMBrRk8Uop0jgd.html. Best wishes to you and your children.
It also depends on the judge.
I know of a case where the father calculated his child support based on the New York guide lines and paid it every two weeks without an order. He recalculated it every year. I convinced him to stop paying in cash and to pay by check and write "child support" in the memo line.
This worked fine for years until the mother applied for welfare.
When she applied she lied and said she never got one cent in child support. When she went to court she claimed again, she had not received any money.
The father had a box of cancelled checks proving he had been paying child support for years.
What did the judge do?
She recalculated the child support and said the father was delinquent and owed 18 dollars.
The mother lied to welfare, lied to the court, and she had no consequence.
This was a small county and this judge was known to be completely unfair to fathers in custody, child support cases.
This is so unfortunate. I wish people were honest, and that the judicial system was better/fairer. But imperfection is all we have to work with. Best wishes to your friend, Sassie Troy. Thanks for watching Live On Purpose TV.
When a parent says "my child is not safe over there" it is valid more often then not. Nothing to do with pride. Courts are behind the times when it comes to protecting children. Too often it's about working the calander/managing the case and not what is the best interest of the child.
Thank you for commenting, Road Wonder. I believe we all wish the judicial system was better. The best interest of our children is in the best interest of our future.
I’ve known too many women lie by claiming their ex is abusive when he isn’t. Keeping a child from its father IS abuse and IS leading the child to feel unsafe in the world.
? what..... everything you have said my ex has done and I have gone through the FULL canadian court process including a full 5 day trial after 3 years. And nothing happened to the other parent and I am still being denied access. Despite a final order granting me regular parenting time and 6 weeks vacation time.
Wow! I am not an attorney or licensed and familiar with Canadian Court. What does your attorney say? Can the other party be found in contempt for not following the order? Continue to reach out.
Thank you for your advice, and dedication to helping people.. My kids father has not tried to see his kids in over 3 yrs and all of a sudden when child support is enforced he has filed for custody. I can't afford an attorney because I am unemployed and and providing full support of our kids. It seems like his attorney gets heard and gets what he asks for in court, and I am getting ignored when I try to speak up for the children. How is it ok for the father to abandon the kids for 3yrs causing mental abuse and still be considered custody? I know you said they have heard it all so many times but if I don't speak up the kids may suffer more. When he abandons them it is too painful on them and I have to step in, like everything isn't already hard enough being a single parent.
C G, document what is happening and present it to the court in a factual and non emotional way. I wish you luck. Glad you are rock for the kids.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you, I do find myself getting very emotional when I present this information, so your advice will go a long way. I will remember to keep my emotions in check. Thank you so much for your response!!!
I feel better after watching your channel my daughter mom moved out of state with my kid without notifying me or telling me due to a problem she was having with her family so she say but I have joint legal and physical custody over my kid I’ll go to court on next week to try to get custody because she refuses to bring my kid back or let me pick her up
Elijah Digg, I wish you well. I hope you get to see your daughter.
What a brilliant video. Thanks for taking the time to make such informational videos.
Thank you, Madhumita paul. I am glad you found the channel.
My grandkids are in foster care and have been since last July. They have a GAL that has only met them once and claimed my daughter has traumatized them. My daughter has a UA-cam account that shows that’s an absolute lie. They’ve done absolutely nothing toward reunification and her lawyers keep refusing to take it in front of the court. Now they’re asking her to do things that they know are absolutely impossible for her to do. Please someone help her. We can’t afford a lawyer to help us 12:02
See what resources are available to you. Hard to know from here. Let the kids know you love them no matter what and even if...
@@LiveOnPurposeTV I refuse to believe the what if! Satan has control over these people but, God has the final say! If he can resurrect Lazarus from the dead, cast demons from a man that had a legion of demons, cause the lame to walk, cause the deaf to hear and heal a paralyzed to walk? He can change this situation in a blink of a eye so, I rebuke the devil
How can we stop the other parent from filing for emergency custody/full custody shortly after each custody battle? Shouldn’t this be a red flag to the courts? How can this continue?
If the laws of your state allow the filings, there is little you can do. Talk to someone who is knowledgeable with the laws of your state and see if there is something you can do. Thank you for watching.
Exactly what I'm going through what state are you from?
There is nothing you can do except spend 100's of 1000's to prove your innocence all for nothing in the end even when you are proven innocent...........family court is a billion dollar industry. The court cares about you personally the same way Mcdonalds cares about your health.
Exactly! I'm still fighting for my son but not my daughter I have my daughter so explain that one! It's b******* export a order on f****** b******* allegations and the judge that signed it recused himself so you explain to me how it's even legal that it still happening
How does one proceed with rectifying major issues of: One parent withholding the child from the other, cuts visits short of they get angry, refuses to discuss any visitation schedule, or doesnt involve the other parent on virtually every issue concerning the childs day to day life - medical decisions, religious views, daycare options, who the child is with, etc etc... And there is NO court order or agreement in place except for the verbal one btwn the parents that the other keeps changing and not abiding by? How do you go about such a situation?
Therein lies the challenge Denise - even WITH a court order, there are so many what I call "unenforceable rules" that come up in a divorce situation. I think our best hope is to always stick to our principles. That's something we can always control, and at the end of the day we get to maintain our own integrity regardless of what others might do.
Thanks for watching! DrPaul
Live On Purpose TV I think my explanation on my situation was misunderstood. There isnt a court order of any kind. When we split up, we later talked about how it would go/how we were going to handle co-parenting so to speak. I believe now that it was just a tactic he used to keep me from taking him to court over custody. He tells me what I want to hear in order to maintain the upperhand on when, where, and how long my time with our Son is at all times. Is there any suggestion you can offer or any direction you can suggest I look into in hopes to prevent/reduce our child from being affected by our separation ??
Denise Farley Hi, we are in a very similar situation. Sadly.
I have little faith that these dudes will gets back to you. They are in it for $$. Again, sadly.
I can chat with you 👍
You on Facebook?
Im Jesse Hansell
Denise Farley please go to my channel, I talk about how to deal with and fight for your Constitutional Rights to the Care and Custody of your Children. An attorney will waive your Rights without you even realizing it's happening. Don't become a victim.
Sounds like great advice
However my ex partner is an emotional abuser and his game is to hurt me and in the process is hurting our son
The principles are around what we can personally do regardless of how other people act or treat us. Stick to the principles and you can come through this whole thing with integrity - no matter what he does. DrPaul
Live On Purpose TV thank you
The question states the child in affected in the mental abuse.. staying in principle does what in aiding the child in a positive manner as to not be affected from the abuse to other parent?? My child has been subjected to this situation for years. I have been without an attorney for 6 yrs. Other parent bullies every situation in opposition. Please help. You are appreciated thank you.
@@kaz2910 stfu you hurt yourself by losing custody b**** except someone accountability lady
Roberto Mundo “If I’m hurt by my ex it hurts my child boohoo”
Doctor Paul, I would appreciate it if you can consider the following two topics for future videos: how to discipline kids without getting in trouble with the authorities and how to encourage kids to take risks but keep them safe at the same time. Thank you in advance. I am more than blessed that I found your channel.
Thank you for the suggestions, Mohamad Hani. I will add the topics and consider them.
Thank you for talking about this. This is very important!
You're welcome Mirrorwarrior - just today I wrote a letter for a good friend who is involved in a custody battle. The court is a terrible place for solving family problems. Hoping we can all get back to true principles! DrPaul
My children's father and I have a child custody agreement that has been in place for about two years now. In that time, he has never kept our children overnight during his time with them-they have gone to his parent's home every other weekend ever since the agreement was in place. He was also granted Wednesdays from 6p to 7a the following morning when he would take them to daycare. He has never taken this opportunity a single time. Instead, they go to his parents from late afternoon until about 730pm when they are returned home to me. He has been in contempt of a couple of the order from the start but I've wanted to give him the chance to realize what is important in life and see how his relationship with our children progressed. However he is rarely in attendance for doctors visits and has yet to even step inside of my children's daycare center ever since they've been enrolled (2 1/2 years now.) He has struggled with substance abuse on and off over the past couple of years and has now been arrested with significant charges, ie felony possession of a gun by felon (11 guns seized) along with felony possession of stolen goods, maintaining veh/dwelling/place, PWIMSD SCH VI CS, and a couple misdemeanor drug charges as well. Given the nature of the crimes and what may transpire should he cooperate and name names, I am beyond anxious and concerned about the safety of my children and myself. They are placed in danger. I have the opportunity to relocate in another state with my partner whom of which I have an extremely healthy and stable relationship with & plan to marry. It would be in the best interest of my children for a laundry list of legitimate reasons, safety being my largest concern. How would I go about modifying an agreement should he be imprisoned before I attempt to do so? He wouldn't be able to pay child support any longer, nor maintain the agreement and nor would I should I move...but also cannot with him in jail. He also may not end up in jail, you never know. Also, what things would the court likely want to know about where the children would be living should we relocate (being that we would be moving in with my significant other, etc.)? I'm consulting with my prior attorney soon, but he told me that he "couldn't let that happen" earlier this evening and plans to fight my wish to relocate and I'm spinning on where to start preparing for this. Any response would likely help! I appreciate your video and time!
I cannot advise on the laws in your state since I am not your attorney and I don't know them. Keep calm, just because your ex said he would fight, doesn't mean he will. Be very clear on what you have control over and work on those things. Be there for your children and provide the best environment for them, (things you can control.)
So what do I do when my ex-wife has alienated the kids from me ?
And it’s been 1 month since I have spoke to them.
How do I continue child support when we aren’t communicating?
j nolasco, I am not sure if you are talking financially or emotionally. You have a financial obligation to support your child. The situation may be temporary. Try sending them cards or texts or emails letting them know you are thinking of them and open to talk. It may take a while for them to respond. Don't give up.
It's frustrating that my ex continues to be upset after taking our daughter because she personally was not happy and even more bitter that me and my daughter grew very close. I haven't heard from them in 2 months and they are in a different state, no idea where. What's more frustrating is that during all that time I wasn't taking care of all my responsibilities and it made the situation all the worse. I realize how my mistake hurt us. I hope we can find a way to work together like we once did when separated. It was the happiest our daughter ever was.
Antonio B, I hope you can find that happy place again. I think you can with what you have learned from the experience.
QUESTION HERE: My wife and I just separated few months ago,. and after a month or two, i was just wondering why my daughter keeps telling me Im a liar, and dont want to talk to me anymore and in times i tried to met them she dont want to come near me. she's 7year old now. How do i know if they are brainwashing my daughter?
It sounds like someone is talking to her, Jay Neri. If you are going through a custody issue, your daughter can be evaluated.
@Jay- its already happening. the right thing, which is also the hardest thing, is to continue to make contact and don't engage in the fight with her and tell her if she ever has any questions about you that she should talk to you. This is going to be a long haul. prepare yourself. watch video "finding pluto".
87
If the mother says the actual story of relationships is not brainwashing is being truthful to the child.
What do you do when the other parent as a step parent allows the child and enables your child to talk bad about you on social media ?? How do you bring that up in court and how do you go about it ??
Have copies of the posts so take screen shots and bring it up when appropriate.
My case of custodial interference was so bad that I was told the Custody Evaluator, Reunification Therapist, and the Judge had never seen anything quite like it before in terms of severity. It took over 4 years in my case and I will admit that 50/50 custody at the end (after almost none for years) was a bit of a shock not only to me but seasoned professionals as well, given my ex's verifiable behavior. BUT. HERE'S THE THING.
All of these things are still helpful. Don't try to control things you cannot control. (Like the judges, your ex, evaluators.) Control your own behavior. PUT YOUR KIDS FIRST!
I also know this judge dealt with more than one case of parental kidnapping and my ex's lawyer showed herself to be really aggressive, to the point an appellate court slapped them on the wrist and as seasoned family attorney believes several of the things that were done are potentially sanctionable. Best interest of the child also includes not potentially being kidnapped or worse. Is it a perfect system? Not by a long shot. But I am among many people actively involved in improving things. I believe the arrangement I have is much better than I might have gotten even 10 years ago.
I stand on the shoulders of those who were strong enough to get involved with change and listen to common sense tips like this as a foundation.
Sounds like you have a great attitude about everything. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
The process for getting custody when the child resides out-of-state. Finding a lawyer and good consultation along with what documents or info will be needed.
Terrific Friend, thank you for the suggestions. I have added them to the production list.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you so much. We are actually trying to begin this process so I should have posed it as a question.
I would like to give a big Thanks for your Beautiful video clips i am sure that it would be a big help we re going thru this right now with our case of my grand daughter i will take your advice i am sure it will be a great help for us
You are so welcome, Doreen Galea, good luck.
Hi Sid, Hi Dr Paul. Thank you for helping us. If anyone feels led, please pray for myboyfriend to get fair amount of custody without needing to be supervised
Thank you guys for the video! It has given me a better insight for how I can regain sole custody of my child. Can you guys do a more in depth video on custody situations like this but involving a relative that has the child instead of the other parent?
Shanda Mickens, it is pretty much the same, I don't think there is a whole video there, thanks for watching.
Thank you this is great help. I really think mom and dad have the same rights. My daughter is just happy every time she visit her father. He is such a great father. I would never take my daughter away from her father she deserves having a mommy and a daddy even if we're not together she deserves it all.
Thanks for your comments ines millan - you are so right! DrPaul
I wish all divorced/separated parents had this attitude, Ines. Thank you for your comment!
ines millan you’re very lucky to have an excellent father.
ines millan l wish l was in your situation. My ex can’t make any decision himself. He only does what the evil woman he has as a mother tells him what to do
ines millan good for you
Thank you! 2 mediations and upcoming court- this is so valuable!
Meaghan Pike, good luck.
My second question is, if I’m not married can the father of the child call the police on me for taking our child out to the park or to the movies or to see family/friends or to go anywhere. I understand I can’t leave the state or the country. But I’m not far and just missed a few calls. Can he call the cops on me?
Cindy Leandra, not that I have heard of, he doesn't need to know what you are doing every minute unless the court stipulates.
Can ya'll do a video on grandparent intervention in child custody cases. I ask this because I am a grandparent doing this now or rather trying to, we raised our granddaughter for 41/2 yrs and the father had nothing to do with her not a phone call not a Christmas card nothing he lies to the court his lawyer n gets emergency custody its a big mess that an 8 year is having to deal with he had absolutely isolated her from everything she has known in the past 4 years its been 102 days n still the judge has not heard my motion to intervene help any info please
Chris nTammy Davis, my heart goes out to you and what you are going through. I am not aware of the laws of your state so seek legal advice.
I've recently filed for custody of my oldest daughter. I went through a rough time about 6 years ago and my mother was granted custody. She was fairly liberal with visitation, until i got engaged. Mind you, I've been sober and doing really well for 4+ years. She's 3 other sisters at home with me. My mom, I feel, is using my daughter more to power trip and refuses to treat her other granddaughters as such(which breaks their hearts). I really didn't want it to come to this, because I am very grateful for her doing what she's done in taking her in but it seems now that unless I bend over backwards to her every demand, I don't see her and neither do her sisters.
*Have you worked on any cases such as this? Unfortunately, it seems to be getting worse more than better but we just miss our Madison.. Yes, I've made mistakes and paid dearly for them but is there hope??
Sarah Abate, try to view the situation from your mother's viewpoint. She may feel that she is losing someone that has become very precious to her. See if you can talk to her about her feelings and express gratitude for her. Let her know what role she will play in your daughter's life when she comes back to you. Hope this helps.
Did you win custody??
I would like to know the answer to this as well? Did you ever get your daughter back?
I’d love to hear more of your advice ...especially when the police chief is your husband’s cousin, and the judge is his golf partner. I maybe no one special, but I’m confident that I can tell you a horror story you’ve never come across.
I don't understand how someone hasn't had to recuse themself from the case, Brandy Moore, but I believe you. Some pretty unfair things happen.
You sound like me, my ex father was an officer, so he’s cool with the chief, the damn judge used to be his attorney for several years even recused himself and still made a decision on my emergency custody….remind you I have a restraining order on my ex for attacking me while holding out son and did I mention he has 3 open felony cases and restraining order violations and walking around free and dictating if I can move for me and my childrens safety
I hate it here!!
What do we do if the spouse (mother) disappeared with the children (to be with boyfriend) and has refused to communicate, while restricting all means of communicating with the children by removing online devices and cell phones. And coercing the oldest child with rewards for defiant behavior towards the father, and getting that child to message the father randomly with odd questions and insinuations that the father deserves to be forced out of all the children's lives for almost 3 years. No divorce or custody order in place.
Eternity Seven, I hear this often. It is parental alienation and it is wrong. It is unfortunate that it takes so long, but the kids generally figure out as they get older what has happened. Document and get legal advice from someone who knows the laws of your state.
you hit the nail on the head with the cell phones and the games played where if the child/Teen doesn't get her/his way.........Hey Mom, Dad's being MEAN. Come get me. And she does. Then the mom tells the court the child is not comfortable at Dad's house because he's cooking something for dinner that the child does not want. But does the mom say that's the problem? No, she just says the child is "uncomfortable" and the judge says ok then. The father is a threat to the child. This goes on in MA courts, I never believed it until I saw it. How can the father get vindicated? He needs so much help up against the wall of coached children who's mother undermines all authority and uses visitation as a tool to torture him.
Hang in there and stick to your principles, then you can come through this with your integrity intact no matter what happens on the other side of things. Look through the Positive Parenting playlist for some more ideas. I think you would also love the Parenting Power-up Audio Course that my wife Vicki and I just recorded. Get a free pre-listen here: parentingpowerup.com
DrPaul
Thank you, I will!!!
One of my friends is right now proving that her ex lied about any allegations about her it’s been a year and this is the first time she is being heard with mountains of evidence hoping for the best
Thats My Side Hustle, that is so awesome, that you are supporting your friend. Love it.
I’ve been fighting for my daughter and lost to and 80/20 split. My ex decided to take my daughter to a therapist to talk about her issues. My daughter said her mom was in the meetings initiating the talks on how bad dad is. She took the report to court because the therapist said I was verbally abusive for scolding her about grades punctuality and not helping around the house.
When we went to the mediator the mediator says to us as we walk in. I know how this is my dad was strict with me when I was growing up. So the mediator sided with moms complaints. Mom persists on making my daughter feel guilty about going 50/50 again because she says “ I fought for you” so now my daughter feels bad.
Regardless of what split you have, your child needs to know that you are there for her, no matter what. Thank you for watching the video. I hope you can have a close relationship with her.
C
Hello Paul. Surprisingly that is my name as well. haha. I found your video one day on UA-cam and I was not looking for it. I just took a chance at watching and it was comforting and informative during this custody battle I am going through now. From what I hear this is the worst time to be involved due to COVID which has slowed down the court system. I have been at tears in the last few months because the court is taking so long to get a custody order in place. My ex is what one considers a vexatious litigant. She repeatedly files for a TRO and is trying to get full custody of our daughter. These filings are unwarranted and unnecessary. I have never hurt this woman, nor have I threatened her. She includes our daughter in the TRO and the judge has been granting the TRO to get to a hearing. The first two were terminated and the next was denied by the Judge. Now she has filed again, keeping me from seeing my daughter. I know inside and out I am a wonderful father as others can validate that as well. How am I going to co-parent with a parent with a vengence? Your video on co parenting suggest parents keep the two worlds but this woman is claiming I can't take care of a child because I don't follow her schedule. I am beat down and tired. I have troubles getting an attorney because they are so expensive, but because I do work I don't qualify for free legal help. This woman is the typical claw you to death type of woman. She won't stop until I am completely out of her life and our daughters. What can I do?
Gambit 21, I am not sure. The problems you talk about are all too often ones we hear with people going through a divorce. Both parents need to have the child's best interest at heart and when they don't, this kind of thing happens. I am so sorry. Work on what you control and if you ever see your child, let her know you love her and will always be there for her.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Don't you think its illegal to alienate a parent from their child? You speak of this in one of your video's. Look if you have even a fraction of time 30 mins to dissolve what is happening with my child that would mean the world to me. My daughter doesn't deserve this. I was looking over pictures tonight I'm separating for DCSS and the memories it brings back.. This girl had such an unfair start of her life. I gonna swear here. .. My piece of shit Ex caused all of this.
I want my daughter to have a fair chance at a regular childhood. Hope to talk to you.
Too bad I didn't know about any of this or you any sooner. Great tips you are sharing with your audience.
Thank you, Dena B. Glad you are finding value with the videos, keep watching.
This is extremely good, this confirms that my lawyer knows what she’s doing in instructing me.
Perfect, I wish you well, Tony.
actually watching all these videos for research for a chapter im writing for a book im working on
Hope you find them helpful Alexander - thanks for watching! DrPaul
Great but justice is not equal
I'll contribute my story.
I would love to help
Great video! Very helpful
Thank you, Marlana.
These guys are making valid points. My son went through a custody battle for his son, the whole time he focused on what was best for his son. In the end he got sole physical and legal custody and the judge commended him for his focus on the child and not his ex-wife.
Sandra Loper, thank you for commenting and letting us know your experience. It does help to focus on what is best for the children.
Love all your videos
Thank you for your education and inspiring words
najma m, my pleasure.
My ex n i broke up when she was pregnant with our daughter. Soon after she moved a lot and I could not find her for 4 years. I had to hire a pd to find her. Now she told the judge I abandon my daughter. Can she get me for that?
Raymond, this is just another example of how things can get really crazy in these custody cases. This sounds like a question for your attorney. In the mean time, stay connected to principle and don't let the craziness pull you out of integrity. Best wishes! DrPaul
Not enough info to give you a Utah-oriented legal opinion. Based upon what you stated, the answer should be no, unless you were more complicit in the non-contact than you allude to.
Hey Rocketman, my ex did the same thing to me. They both just vanished without a trace. A co-worker of mine, told me that my daughter is in the same class as his kids. I went to the school to find out what was going on, they wouldn't let me see her, because the moms boyfriend at the time was listed as my daughters father. The next day I was served a RO by the police on the grounds that I was stalking my daughter by going to her school. That was the beginning of the nightmare that robbed me of my daughters childhood.
So its going for now 4 and a half yrs that i havent seen my son. long story short , my ex wife made me sign a paper where i gave her full soul custody . I was not aware n was forced and rushed to sign this papers at the time we were divorcing in there. we saw the judge and judge said its on her if i want to see my son. she has not been a nice person at all this whole time. please how can i get my son back . At least for visitation rights.PLEASE HELP
Syrak Mza, I assume that you have been paying for support, I would get an attorney and have the visitation reworked so that the visits are mandated by the court.
Thanks for posting this, very informative!
Hope it helps! DrPaul
Very helpful and informative information.
Glad you liked it, Anjela.
Can you make a video of when one parent uses the law to gain advantage for child custody, like a temporary restraining order filled with false allegations? How does that work in a child custody evaluation?
Francisco Meza, that tactic is used way too often, the first one to strike out with affidavits. After a while it is shown to not have standing.
Nobody ever talks about how to get past when this is happening to a parent. When one side is vitriolic and the other tries to constantly think of best interest statutes? What are the tips or tricks to cope with the in between phase of court and evaluations? it is very hard to be involved in a court case for child modification and continue to endure timeshare denial or gatekeeping behavior. Can you maybe to something on this?
Joshua, thank you for the topic idea. I will see what we can do. Think long term and how you want to be remembered through all of this. It is so difficult.
Thank you for the video. What should I do when the other parent lies about how much time they have the kids?
Annie Lin, I am not sure who you are needing to get this information to. I guess, keep a record and let your attorney know, they will know how to use the information.
What happens when you are dealing with a father who hits his kids including a 3 yo? Police report filed, CPS declined to investigate so i took the kids ans left ....And he is refusing to cooperate with attorney's suggestion for supervised visits atleast until the court date? I have offered him several scenarios to see them....he refuses unsupervised visits so he would rather wait the month until court .....
daphne zavala, this sounds like a difficult situation and I am sincerely sorry that you and your children are in the middle of it. Unfortunately I cannot give specific legal advice. However, I do have more videos on child custody. If you are interested in those, here is the playlist: ua-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPBhTE4dbqLMBrRk8Uop0jgd.html
Thank you for the help! It's scary going into court alone and your tips made me feel a little more confident. Do you have any tips for representing yourself when the other side has a lawyer? It is pretty intimidating knowing the other side has much more knowledge and experience about the procedures and laws when you are just starting to learn about all of it. I really appreciate your help!
Karissa, it can feel intimidating. Present your information with a calm face, calm body, calm voice. Don't allow yourself to be tipped over.
I'm right there with you. I'm pro se for myself as a defendant.
Me 3 😢 but mine is my mother has my 14 year old and has decided she wants to keep him and has been filling his head with lies and coaching him. I have had addiction issues in the past but they're using it against me now. I have 3 younger kids and now I'm just in defense mode trying not to loose them.
@@VictoriaMarch13 same!!! Awww.
@@michellemoffitt9715 can u explain what u meant? can u help me any tips would be great, did u win in court??
I haven't even been able to get started on the custody case with my ex. We weren't married but we still have a daughter together. I don't know where my daughter and her mother are located, paying just about all my money on child support, and about to have to drop my lawyer due to costs. I have to live with my mother to make ends meet. I work full time as well but the hours vary depending on workload. I only got to see our daughter twice throughout the 20 months of her life.
Be there and open for her when the opportunity comes for you to see her. I hope it happens soon.
How do you win a child custody battle if the reason the child likes the other parent more is because they are more lenient and give them more freedom so the child gravitates towards that?
Good questions, Juston. Your child must be older and therefore have some input. Continue to love the child, no matter what and even if...
Yea my ex is best friends with our sons and let's them do whatever they want. Even to smoke those medical pens and other blunts. So I'm labeled as the boring , no fun guy parent. Because I want them to be responsible and be successful... She is a narcissist and is using my boys to be on her level of a ignorance..🤪
@@JoMagic-ny8zu i dont think that constitute being a narcissist.
I have a question. My case is very messy. And the mother told cps and the courts I abused my kids. Which is not true. But I request a 730 that I am paying for it to tell the truth and get everything out. Now the mother try to back out of the 730. Since she agreed to something she has no clue about. And the judge approve it. Dose that look bad on me because I requested it?
Not necessarily. It shows you want transparency and things on the record. Keep calm in court.
Thanks, all great advise that is greatly appreciated
Scott Bateman, you are welcome, honored to be on your team.
So I have question. What if the husband has a severe brain injury and cannot take care of child alone but is allowed to drive tractors on a farm and his parents want to take over his rights? And become the new father essentially. Even though they were seeing the child before but sy the child went home every night and spent some nights over at the grandparents in order to see her father.
Victoria Purvis, I am not sure about this. I don't have all the facts. Grandparents can be wonderful influence on children, I know mine were. Remember you want to do what is best for the child and if that is seeing and knowing their father with the grandparents there then that would be best.
Document everything and take the high road with your ex. Don’t be petty or spiteful- do what’s best for the kids
ALWAYS have your motivation be in the best interest of the child, HeyJude2018.
It is so hard to prove what these Narssist really do Hopefully all my texts and documentation .Helps my Son Round Number 2 wish me luck.
My ex took an accidental scratch while i was cleaning during an argument about me wanting him to leave the house and said i purposefully attacked him, got me put in jail, then placed a restraining and a no contact order on me yet he doesn't live here. So, although in the past we would co-parent, the restraining/ no contact order hindered any and all visits until the order was lifted. During this time, he seemed to have forgotten that he placed the order then violated it multiple times. For my freedom and safety, the kids didn't go because i wasn't allowed to be near him, his family, and their residence. He moved back with his mom. Now during this time he spoke with them via phone, but insulted me so many times that they refuse to even talk on the phone. Kids are 14 and 10. I keep telling them to speak to him they say no. They don't feel like they did when he was here and are actually scared to see vehicles that are like his. He states that I did all of this to them and has not paid any child support. Instead wants me to pay him. I'm scared that he will harm my kids emotionally.
With all this, in Texas how old does a child have to be in order to not be forced by the court to visit the non-custodial parent.
marien b, I don't know, I hope you can find your answer.
I'm not in a custody battle, but my fiance is and I'm trying to be as supportive as possible because his ex wife is trying every way possible to take more time away from him. She is "disabled" yet goes on many trips that would deem her not disabled but anyways, she is very manipulative and will say anything to get her way and even so she goes to court with a walker and literally doesn't use one at any other time.
I just wish it was a perfect world and they could both get 50/50 custody. He's an amazing father and I'm not bashing her one but, she is a good mom! She just makes things more about herself by trying to tale more and more time so she can feel like a winner. It's sad...I wish that things were better.
Rant over
Appreciate the rant Keira - thanks for watching and for thinking. You might find some helpful stuff in our Positive Relationships playlist here on the channel. Honored to be on your team! DrPaul
Keira Kagay please tell him to make a Constitutional argument under the 1st Amendment of the RIGHT to the care and CUSTODY of the child, it is an adjudicated FACT, look up the Supreme Court rulings. If he listens to an attorney he will get screwed. The statistics PROVE IT. also, tell him NOT TO CONSENT to child support, it is fraud and a violation of his rights. I'm not saying not to support the kids, I'm saying the government or a 3rd party debt collector has no right to make you pay.
Please go to my channel and learn how to properly fight for your Fundemental Right to the Care AND Custody of your Children. Give to Rick W channel if you are having problems with Child Support. He has a GREAT CHANNEL and is helping fathers fight the fraud the court commits on you.
Help. In California. Fled texas due to domestic violence and now reside with family here. Both states have cases open and going. There are criminal charges pending here in ca. How can I follow conflicting orders between the states
Meredith reeb, this is where it gets tricky and you will need legal advice to help navigate the murky waters.
Hello, I couldn't help but notice this video. You gave some amazing pointers and some of which I am currently correcting to a refined state. I have to ask. In a situation where you were the care taker of the child and due to constant physical altercation, you move.. could the courts deem that as abandonment even if you have physical evidence of calls and outreach? She has sole custody and i would like to take her back to court to solidify some time with my son.. it's been a year and a half and I've only gotten to see him for one week with her around . Is there a way I could have a court order so that she could not be there?
Dennis Whitaker, it is difficult to speak to that issue since I am not an attorney and I do not know the laws of your state. Hopefully you can find someone to help you navigate the laws in your state and be able to spend more time with your son.
Can a judge decide that you can not see ( visit) your child alone, but only with someone from the other parent's family?
Can a judge also decide that you are not allowed to give the child any religious teaching ( advice, prayer, story, wisdom, song, book , movie , picture, etc , not even related )?
Even if the judge don't decide so, the parent who win the custody still can turn the child against the other parent beliefs and teachings so the kid will get to not be so willing to see him/her or to take anything into consideration ( even if he wants to, he/she will be afraid that the other parent the one who has custody will give him or her a hard time if he or she comes home with some of his other parent ideas)
doroteea zorici, I guess what you describe could happen, it just depends on the circumstances and what is presented in the case.
You guys are totally awesome! Bringing wisdom, thank you.
Honored to be on your team, Helena Phoenix.
SERIOUS QUESTION: so what happens when the father of my child took her from me after she lived with me her whole life(my daughter), went over state lines and cut off ALL COMMUNICATION for 1 year, evaded all of my efforts to have him served, finally served me and we started court... The judge did not look at any of my documents, he assaulted me and my roommate at the time, he even had a warrant in the state I live... The judge ordered us JOINT CUSTODY and allowed her to live with him.... Then she almost lost her life and was in the hospital, and him and his family and the doctors treated me as if I had NO RIGHT to receive phone calls from doctors/nurses and openly stated that he had FULL CUSTODY to all of the hospital staff... It's already been almost 5 years since the start of when he assaulted me and took our daughter. So PLEASE WHAT CAN I DO!?? I also have an older child she lived with all her life and was kept away from also, the trauma has been damaging to us all... he is more financially stable and capable then I am however... Also since she has healed from her surgery, I was NOT ALLOWED to start the court ordered weekend visitation... Also the quarentine due to covid has kept me away from seeing her... Please HELP!!!!
Lady JoJo, I feel for your situation. This is a legal issue and needs to be worked out there since your ex doesn't want to be reasonable and work with you. I am sorry, you need to figure out what you control and what you don't. I hope you see your daughter again soon.
Great info! Thank you!
Tara Davis, honored to be on your team.
My son is disabled and my ex died March of 2022, I'm trying to get custody of him. Here in Ga. What do I do? Can't afford a lawyer.😢
Black Rain6ft5, I have no experience in GA. First, talk to whoever has custody of your son and see what you can do, then get with parent organizations that might be available to help you. Look up dad's and custody in your area.
What if DCF is involved and were up against them in regards to temporary custody.
Jennifer I, I am not up to date on the particulars of your case, but comply with DCF and show them that you are able to work with them. Good luck.
Just because you being nice or playing nice dont get anywhere! It all depends on the state and judge ..i been fighting for year's and aint got no where ..allow dad to dictate the visit..if its up to him i wouldn't never get my kids regularly..and because I've set back and did nothing but went to the courts only for the judge to say keep working together🤦 I've given up because idk what else to do
I am sorry to hear this. Even if the court battle has become too much, let the message be sent to your kids that you will always be there for them when they want to come to you.
My issue is I've never been married and my kid's mom doesn't want me to see nor have my kid at all for any reason and I've never done anything for her to be acting like that. I'm in ohio and it's a mom state even if they're on hard drugs. The system here is the worst in the world. I'm worried the judge will be a woman and we know how that goes(never fair) plus her family knows everyone in that little town.
I hope you get a chance for a fair hearing. Children benefit from the presence of both parents in their lives, good question.
I have a question-
Been married for 6yrs, 2 kids, we live with my parents, and I want out of the marriage. Im a housewife without income-YET. We own no property. The father is a fulltime paramedic. How would custody even 'go'? And If I wanted to move out of state with my children (with knowledge to the father and permission) Is it even legal if I was granted full custody?
I know, one step at a time but this video made me genuinely curious.🤔
AprilMayJane, parents move all the time. Just be in compliance with the court. Sometimes permission needs to be granted. Think about where your support system is as it will be more needed than ever if you leave and file.
Simply put, dont be a vindictive jerk. Be nice.
In a nutshell, you are right, ReenyNY. Thank you for commenting.
So hard to be nice when my sons' father is trash talking about me infront of our son and myself. I'm pretty sure my tongue is shorter and my blood pressure is higher.
@@cyndismith4939 Big oof for you
What should I do to correct harmful habits that my child has picked up from Interacting with her father?
Jamela Sullivan, check out some of the videos on the playlist. Try to ignore or gently remind the child that we don't do that without focusing on the father.
What about the one parent harass the other parent while droping off the baby from the one parent house? The one parent doesnt say anything but just stay quiet
Sometimes being quiet is the answer. Sounds like the other person is looking for a reaction to maybe use against them. Remember, the child is the important one in the relationship. Try journaling to work out the thoughts you wanted to say or when it is happening, think to yourself, this amuses me. Let me know how it goes, Gabriela Gamero.
With all the advice taken on board… what about the other issues such as sharing the same bed with dad, the daughter starting her period, the father becoming angry and my daughter spending all custody’s days with other family members.
White Rose, there is a lot going on here that I don't think I can address them in one post.
Well unless you have legitimate proof of a palpable danger.
Nate Shiz, safety is always first.
Hello, my custody agreement, I have to have approval from my ex to take the kiddo to church. She refuses to agree to me taking him, and I would like to get him baptized. She will not agree to it and keeps saying we will talk about it later... Any advice here?
If that is written in the custody agreement then you need to abide by the agreement. You can always go back to court to get it changed but in the meantime, it was agreed and you wouldn't want your ex to decide to not abide by something else in the agreement. You can continue talking to him and have the child express their wishes. Hang in there, we don't know the timetable, Jason Frank.
Jason Frank You can just baptized him or her yourself look it up
Some parents follow the rule of the court.the kid is truly in danger, and wind up dead by the other parent, you two make it out to be a joke,some custody cases are TRULY serious!!
These cases are the minority and there are signals but can't always be seen. It is tragic.
Hello, I was wondering what about if the mother does not support the child financially. I have other issues like her not living w him, but she is stuck w making me pay her child support, which I don’t mind doing, but I feel if I am more financially stable & she has no income for the last 5 years, how does that look on my end? I can support my child & take care of him but her not supporting him as well doesn’t sit well w me
Thanks for watching, Jesse Coronado; I understand your concern and wish I could help you. However, I am unable to give specific legal advice as my expertise is in psychology. Please seek answers from a lawyer - they are more familiar with child support issues.
My dad is going against my mom in court. I REALLY don’t wanna go back to my moms house so I’m hoping my dad wins custody 😔
Melody, good luck to you!
How old are you? At 14, they may ask you who you want to live with.
lunar limit. I’m 13 turning 14 in November 😗
April Duckworth thank you 🥺
@April Duckworth You have to be careful what to say to a child, always be neutral in such cases because you never know if there is parental neglection going on.
Thanks for exposing the cancer in the system. Very honest feedback
Thank you for watching. My best to you and your family.
What do you do when your a grand parent that's put in the middle of two bad parents. My pre teen grand kids are being sexually permiscuous and no one knows what to do about it but ignore. Suggestions of counseling is being ignored. The kids are losing all trust and respect for mom and dad because they hate each other. Always telling the kids to hold their slander comments secret but back stab each other to kids daily.
What a sad situation, Tammie. Be there for the child and remember to love them no matter what and even if.
As a non custodial parent how can I control the phone interference? As a targeted parent I have been told I can not confiscate my son's phone. Dad is causing problems during my visitation time to prove in court a problems occurring during my visitation. He is encouraging 13 yr old boy to speak his mind and son is rude and very aggressive. How do control the phone hero or the interference? I do not pay for the phone. I have seem where parents are going to jail or court because of other persons property. 13 yr old child now feels entitled. The child also does not answer my calls or is rude and hangs up on me when I call him. Any help on how I can improve this?
Tomeka Baldwin, the only thing you control is your action and behavior so let that be the guiding principle. Let your son know that you don't appreciate the way he is behaving and still love him no matter what and even if. There is not a lot to do until your son has time away from the other parent and can see how different the parents were in their actions. You could try counseling, I don't know if he would go.
Hello... I go by Peanut. I just turned 13 and I want to live with my mother. My father is very intimidating, and he scares me. Though he's never hurt me, I do believe I'm going through mental abuse. I went to a Psychiatrist(think that's it.. the one that prescribes medicine) and had a breakdown the first day because I was talking about all things I'm going through at my dad's.
I want to know if, since I'm 13 now, am I allowed to speak in court? If so, will my opinion matter? If I asked, could I talk privately with the judge? I'm scared that, if I go to court then because I'm intimidated by my dad, it will affect what I say there. Meaning, I won't say what I really think. Can my opinion help my mother win custody?
Follow up question...
I have a 10 year old little brother. He also wants to live with my mom. I love him, and I don't want to be separated from him. If my mother were to win custody over me, can I speak for my brother, too? I'm really scared and I don't have anyone I can ask about these questions.
Hi Peanut - thanks for watching! Unfortunately I can't specifically answer all of your questions here because each case is so unique and each locality has its own rules and laws. Probably the best you can do is to keep those lines of communication open with your parents. They will get caught up in their own concerns and issues, so you may not get exactly what you want, but whatever happens you can find a way to handle it. Look at the video I did here about how to convince your parents to get you a phone (ua-cam.com/video/Zpuqf9N6KhQ/v-deo.html). I know this is a totally different issue, but you will see here some powerful principles about working with your parents. Best wishes to you! DrPaul
At fourteen someone can be emancipated.
Same thing but I’m 15 my dad is really emotionally abusive and drinks a lot, but he has a lot more money than my mom so I’m scared I’ll have to live with him
What do I do if the parent is asking for more visitation days and As the mother I’m fine with it but the only reason he does that is bc he upset I no longer want to have a relationship with him and wants to take our child from me. And wants me to be the one paying child support . But I’m the one that already pay everything for my child and not ever received help or payments for my daughters needs. Before we split she mostly lives with me . We weren’t a married couple / lived together . While we were together . Could I possibly loose primary custody . Due to working 5O hr a week . While he work less and makes less as well?
Krendy Rangel, I don't have any idea. If you are taking care of your daughter and she had responsible care while you are working, you should be ok. Talk to an attorney who knows the laws in your state.
Thanks for the info, great common sense stuff. I'm currently in a custody battle with my ex-wife and she's not allowing me to see my daughter. I've always paid child support on time. My ex-wife is a covert narcissist and up until 2 years ago my daughter never left my side. I ask the court to intervene with a psychological evaluation but they appointed me a Court appointed advisor to interview both parents and the child because I brought up emotional abuse as a major concerned. I spoke briefly with the lady she's a social worker with a master's degree in sociology. Do you think she will be able to pick up on this narcissistic behavior since it is covert and it's the hardest one to evaluate?
I certainly hope you will be allowed to see your daughter, she needs you. Keep trying and be there when the opportunity presents itself. It will one day.
Yeah. Stressful is absolutely right. My heart hasn't stopped pounding.